Daf Hashavua - Kesuvos 63a {The Story of Rebbi Akiva}

okay good evening everyone we're continuing we're learning we four lines from the bottom on amazingly uh tonight we have the story of Raba Raba R Ben was The Shepherd of benab and kav was one of the wealthy people inim he was called K anyone who entered his house ravenous like a dog would exit satisfied um obviously he was an ignoramus you know he was not a he was not a professional it was a very menial uh job which means he wasn't successful not in learning and not in not financially have K's daughter saw that he was modest and of good character so obviously she noticed something in him which is pretty amazing because he obviously was not successful in learning but his good character gave her the his good character gave her the premonition that he has potential she says if I marry you will you go learn he said yes he married her privately because there's no way the as they say there's no way the old man would have gone for this no way would have gone for this she sent him to learn sh her father heard that she married him say and he he uh kicked him out of the house um he kicked her out of the house he made a that he's not going to give Han to his daughter he went and he sat for 12 years in the Academy of RAV mean by the rebi so he went to learn for 12 years tus ask a very interesting question tus asks um how could you say that rabika was of good character he was modest and he was of good personality but thear says that says that when I I was an I would say who who would give me a I'll bite him like a donkey that's masma he was not good mid he did did not have good mid says it's not because he hated it's because he thought that the were arrogant and they would be boastful over he didn't like the and he thought that hated also um the did not let touch them because we say big but he was a so in other words RAB was an orthodox Jew but uh he did not think highly of did not like them basically R went away to learn for 12 years when he came back he he brought with him 12,000 students so after 12 years he had 12,000 he overheard a certain old man say to his wife for how long will you continue to uh live like a living in another for how long will you live as a a living Widow so am she said to him if my husband would listen to me he would sit for another 12 years says I'm going to go now with permission he then went for and he sat for another 12 years who this old man who was the old man sper we don't know the gar doesn't say who was he you want know was this uh alahu was this uh I don't know it seems like uh he wasn't doing a good thing right he was trying to discourage her but he did instigate that she should say he should go for another 12 years so he ended up uh doing something very good he ended up creating rabi AA if not for that old man then Raba would have suffice with 12,000 students okaya when he came this time when he learned for another 12 years he had 24,000 students Shu his wife heard that he was coming have a so she went out to greet him the neighbor said to her borrow some decent clothing and cover yourself meaning you're going out in public to greet your husband so you should uh dress the part you need to wear something appropriate she said to him the righteous man knows the soul of his animal in other words sadik knows that his uh his wife suffices with little and therefore he won't hold it against me when she got when she reached him she fell on her face and she kissed his feet so um when when she reached him she fell on her face and she kissed him have a she kissed his feet have so his attendants uh were pushing her away he said to them sha let her be she said to her let her [Music] be she said to her let her be in other words don't stop her why because my learning and your learning it's all it's all hers so basically apparently they wanted to stop her they they didn't think this was like uh appropriate uh public conduct and Raba says let it be whatever we have whatever I have whatever you have it's because of her you know it's interesting re was the one who said that all songs are holy the songs of song the song of songs is holy of holies they were T that wanted to bury shash and RAB says no not only uh can we not bury it some tan wanted to say not right we know that renders the hands imp P re says no definitely renders the hands impure it's the holiest of all the songs other T felt that to describe the love between Hashem and cl as the love between a husband and wife it it downgrades it in a way uh sullies our relationship with Hashem because how could it be couched in the terms of the love between a husband and wife but Raba knew the Sanctified love there could be between husband and wife Raba experienced that through the proper love between a husband and wife a person could rise to the highest levels SOA was the one who T the Holiness of sh that there's nothing holier than describing the love between and as a love between a husband and a wife anyway this is what R says sh so her father heard heard that great person was coming to the city so he said let me go to him maybe could be because felt back bad that he Asser his daughter in Hanah he wanted to be able to benefit her um so he comes to RAB not knowing this is his son-in-law he says to him with the intent of a great man did you make NE in other words you assed your daughter in Hanah because you didn't like the husband that she married you thought he was an ignoramus but if you would have known that he would be a great man would you have made the ne and says if I would have known that he could learn even one par if I would have known he could learn even one I never would have made the ne said I'm the guy I'm that husband who you said to your wife that you Asser her in Hanah naal he fell on his face kab fell on the face on his face Vash alari he kissed rea's foot and he gave him half of his money so just like his wife did yeah just like his wife maybe he kissed the other foot but um yeah exactly so the garas continues thear there's amazing tsus here one of the most important tses said to the top Tois asks that what was how was rabika made for the nether was made for the nether because he said if you would have known that this son-in-law would have turned out to be a great person you never would have made made a nether fto you're not allowed to be teaches that a p based on a circumstance that arises after the fact is not a valid way to be made for nadaram so how could reab be made for the well if you would have known he would be a great man but he wasn't a great man he became a great man so that's a new Factor that's not a way to be that's not a way to be U May for NE a way to be May for NE is if there was something you were unaware of at the time you made the ne so it's not a valid there's nothing that kabas wasn't aware of he knew exactly who reab was that he was an ignoramus happen to reaba turned it around but that's a new circumstance you can't be Mayer based on a new circumstance T says no it's not a new circumstance this is not considered a new circumstance why not says since he went to the house of the rebi it is typical if you go and dedicate yourself to learning that you'll become a great person this was not a new circumstance Raba went to the ISA if you go and you dedicate yourself to learning so then you're going to become great this was not that reaba a new circumstance arose no re wenta so this is not a noad this is not something new that developed this is the uh tra trajectory of someone who is in the Yeshiva dedicated to learning okay so the fact that he was already planning to go for x amount of years already made him into yeah so it made it that his developing into was not a new circumstance that developed but that's what was sort of could be anticipated so maybe kabua didn't realize but that's not called noad noad when something develops sort of out of the blue this didn't develop out of the blue the gave a before the that if somebody accepts now to finish us it's as if they finish us right now right so the same same idea if you're going to Yesa to learn so right now you're considered yeah so here tus is saying that you're considered an Adam godal right you're considered a great person so that means that you put yourself in a trajectory so that the L say that you developing into an is not considered it's not considered a new thing that developed it's not something that developed out of the you put yourself in that in that program says gar on the Rock they're dripping on the Rock right right that's an there also talks about how how did they support themsel if um made the daughter she did the same kind of thing for Ben meaning he uh she the daughter of um she basically let him go learn this what people say one ram goes after the other or actually's wife was Raa like the manner of the mother is like the manner of the daughter okay the son of her father sent her to the house his father sent him to the house of R meaning to the Yesa before meaning the son of Ra was sent to learn by they made up they'll support him for six years when three years were up it came I'm going to go appear to the residence of my house his father got very angry sh his father got hurt sh he took a weapon and he went out toward him hey he said you know why are you being from your learning he said to him did you remember your Harlot meaning what you couldn't you couldn't restrain yourself you're coming home because you want to take care of your needs he said to him you remembered your Dove you're being faithful to your mate they got so caught up in the argument neither one had the they uh they got very caught up in in the sud in arguing about whether this was the appropriate thing to do okay says the Mish a woman who Rebels against her husband so we detract we diminish from a week A din a day how until when do we continue to diminish until we we diminish and mitigate the whole we continue to diminish even when she's already depleted her why because maybe she'll inherit something from somewhere else so he could collect from it so in other words she's going to lose seven din a week and even after um all 200 din are depleted we continue to make Ain maybe she'll inherit from somewhere else however she does not diminish from the she brings into the marriage who rebells against his wife so we add to her three a week three tar so the gar now wants to know what does it mean we diminish excuse me what does it mean she Rebels what does it mean she's rebelling what is she not doing what is she rebelling from says she doesn't want to have relations so she's rebelling so we basically diminish seven din a week until she diminishes she doesn't want to work says we learned in the if a man Rebels against his wife relations all fine and good according to the that he's rebelling from that she's rebelling from work so what would it mean he's rebelling against her from work does he have to work for her yes so says the yeah where he says I will not support her and I will not sustain her so he's is responsible to do that that's what it means um uh that he's rebelling from work what do you mean so then if he's rebelling by not working then we add on to three of shabas but doesn't he have to divorce her um doesn't say someone who says he goes out and he gives auba he divorces her and gives auba says the well ultimately if he's not going to support her he has to give a Cuba but we're going to have a conversation with him and in the meantime we're going to penalize him by adding on to theba says gar don't we need to converse with him and discuss it with him so in the inter from we're going to find him and add to theba fine we also said that you have to divorce her after if it's St after a week or two was last mishna why isn't the same Kasha uh where did I see this question T bottom line of two bottom two lines we could have also asked that doesn't he have to divorce her so TAA says it could have said back and according to you how would it make sense for Tash and I guess for tashes we would also have to say we converse with him so I guess maybe for tashes if the guy's a six-month uh captain or a driver in the meantime you know we would penalize him but if he says I'm not going to support her what's she going to eat maybe in other words it sounds like the gamar felt it's more ped we're going to have a conversation with him Tash CU it's not like you know her life is on the line so in the meantime in the meantime we'll penalize him until we could work it out and if we can't of course we'll have to divorce her but maybe there's no conversation really when it comes to work because if he's not going to support her how she's supposed to live and says even so in the mean you know we don't we don't do it drastically okay Fighter um says the gamar let me just uh says um there's no difference if a woman Rebels whether she's in ARA who says I'm not going to do she's did according to the one that says that a doesn't want to work then it comes out good because in all these cases if she doesn't want to work no matter what the relationship is so then the is she's but if it's from Tash what do you mean there's no difference whether she's a is a capable of Tash why would she be a my if the says she doesn't want to have TM says there's no comparison someone who has bread in his basket and someone who doesn't even though nether can have tashes but if she says she's not going to so then he has no pass balah even though right now he can anyway because at least he knows the time will come that he can says who says it's from that's why it says why a is able to have t but according to the from work is a sick is a woman who's able to work so why is she considered rebelling so this indicates that clearly mes is from tashes say everyone agrees that if she doesn't want to have say if she doesn't want to work is that one holds that if she doesn't want to work she's considered rebelling sorry the one opinion holds if she doesn't want to work she's not considered rebelling well and the other man holds that refraining from is also my R okay let's hold it here have a good night everyone good night thank you everyone