KLM: How to Maximize Tisha B'Av with Rabbi Asher Baruch Wegbreit

[Music] is sponsored for the refer shalema of ravine ben leia uh koli israel and tonight's sure is on tishaba i just want to welcome back rabbi wegbright here it's israel nice to have you uh back uh where you belong and uh i hope you had a good trip um and leading into illu just to say there's gonna be some fresh new curling material following some really interesting work that rabbi weber has been accomplishing over the last couple of weeks and also just to finally welcome the ibneh listeners who are uh um joining us uh on the recording of the show so rabbi wegrat if you want to come on in there you go thank you thank you parrots did you know that if you know how to sincerely mourn about the destruction of the temple you can actually shorten the exile you hear that you know how to do this correctly right now we're shortening the exo we are the solution no longer the problem now i've known this fact for several years because i heard the schloss say this he says it in the negative actually he says when you're not thinking about and feeling despondent about the fact that we don't have a base of mig dash we don't have yerushalayim as a spiritual uh edifice you're extending the exile but tonight we're going to focus on and learn how to shorten the exile by how we mourn by how we approach this time period that's the goal tonight now i think if we're honest we tend in the right we're in the nine days now the heat has been turned up all around the world literally but not only that if you're observing the customs of the nine days right now it's gotten more difficult despite the weather there's no showers etc so given that that's the case what is unfortunate is we tend to postpone the actual morning till the 9th of of but guess what the the reason these um all these practices of discomfort or in places so that will mourn now you know tish above if you will is the feta complete it when it when that arrives it shows that it was destroyed in our times rahman islam so tonight i want to number one explain how we can achieve shortening the exile through our morning and number two we are going to mourn and we will be able to to say to a kardashian hashem we did it we did it before the ninth above okay let's get started so the first uh thing to understand is that in this time period of the nine days in the ninth above there's a switch of focus a profound switch of focus normally when we pray to hashem and we we relate to hashem we're saying hashem please have mercy on me please see my situation feel what i'm going through and help pull me out of it we're asking hashem have compassion for us so guess what in the nine days and especially on the ninth of of we're supposed to switch focus we are supposed to if you will feel empathy and compassion for what's called sar hashina the the pain and agony of the divine presence now this is a very deep concert the concept and it's usually um you know for people in the very big leagues but not now not in the nine days we're doing public expressions of mourning over yerushalayim which means we are on a level to connect you as we just said to focus on the the impact and the pain if you will of the divine presence now i think before i go any further i need to do this um to make sure that we don't cross any lines of if you will heresy all right so i want to make something clear when you talk about hashem having pain or hashem if you will the divine presence the shrina having pain and things like this it's a it's a concept that if it's misunderstood is is disastrous okay this is what we have to understand [Music] there's two lines i have to thank rav hayam eisen for really making this clear there's two lines we have to always be careful of crossing one is the idea that um hashem is completely uninvolved with the world he's apart from the world god forbid that's not the case and then the other thing we have to avoid is thinking that hashem is and is actually boy this is hard this is not easy to explain the other thing is over anthropomorphizing hashem and uh when i when we talk about the pain of the divine presence we have to be super careful that we understand that that that hashem in his essence is is completely apart from his creation and when we talk about this we see what we're saying is this that the way in which hashem has created and manifests himself there's a manifestation that conveys a true true thing of a pain of a divine presence but that you cannot associate that directly with hashem it's a very very fine line we're crossing so just know when we talk about the idea of the divine presence feeling pain and suffering we have to be careful and just frame that it says if but it's real all right so now that i gave that backdrop it's going to be very important also for later when we hear the certain midrash okay with that backdrop let's understand the concept it says in the gemara broncos in the very beginning that this is the description it says woe for the and speaking about the divine presence woe for the father who has to send his kids away from the table woe for the father who's destroyed his home that's so it's a if you will there's a there's a feeling of empathy empathy about the pain of this father who is if you will a kaddish foreign and we say that every night you know after hatsos there's a boss call that is if you will hashem is roaring like a lion there's such a thing being communicated that's real called if you will divine pain now is our time to focus on that okay this is if we understand how we're going to shorten the exile by how we relate to the destruction we have to begin with realizing we're mourning we're mourning for the loss that is experienced by the divine presence okay now if you take that to heart that we're worried about that then you're gonna you should ask me a question which is you know if you read the kinos and by the way i hope that this will help you with your kindles on tisha bob morning because that's sometimes the most challenging aspect of tishbov is going through all these kinos the kinos aren't the for the most part they're not describing the agony of the divine presence they're describing tragedies that happen to the jews it's like a if you will the kennels are like a travelogue of anti-semitism throughout all jewish throughout all history so we have to understand why did the hazal make this enactment that we should read kinos if if we're really trying to feel the pain of the divine presence so the to to help us israel gives us just a powerful powerful understanding he says like this we can relate to our tragedies our pain our suffering that comes natural to us so the kinos are utilizing our natural feeling oh this is horrible look at all these slaughters etc and then we're supposed to use that and then transfer it over to and say to yourself can you imagine how the divine presence feels about this and refined volusion gives a a very powerful metaphor so we can understand this there's a he's describing in his time when the roofs were flat and somebody could be up on the roof so there's a father he sees his child is up not child he's a teenager and he's up on the roof and he's drunk and he's very concerned and he sees the kid get to the edge and he falls off the roof to the ground he looks down thank god the kid is alive he look he thought he was going to be dead they take him to the hospital he's broken so many bones and they're resetting the bones he's screaming and shrieking in pain now let's ask ourselves when was the father's agony over his child suffering the greatest when he saw his kid fall to his probable death or when he was shrieking in pain in the hospital it's clear when he thought his kid was going to die that was the most agonizing and even though he feels terrible you you love your kid you don't want your kid to suffer but at least he knows there he's get he's healing from the suffering so sever give us understanding the divine presence is a real entity and we have to realize this he's saying in the what that was a metaphor for is that when we do sins it's like the drunk kid falling off the roof that's the damage we're doing to ourselves and then when we need suffering as atonement we don't ask for it when we when we get that that certainly that hurts the uh it affects deeply the loving parent but at least it's healing right so we have to realize and like i said that each and every one of us our own difficulties our children's difficulties people we love their difficulties and suffering you think we feel this you can't imagine how much more the divine presence feels our pain and then collect it all together it's unbelievable and again this is really we're entering very very high levels here if we can feel that and relate to that that is the focus that's the morning that's the high-level morning we should strive for okay so let's just review right now we just we claimed that by mourning properly we can shorten the exile we can put an end to all the suffering and god's glory can be spread throughout the world now how do you do it so we said first of all we're really the focus on the tragedies and the personal ones and the national ones and the historical is really to to to to connect to that pain and say if this is how we feel can you imagine how the one who made us and love loves us feels about this but that doesn't explain how does that shorten the exile okay this is the discovery i have to thank the tequila's israel and the hasam sofa for this it's particularly the hassam sulfur listen to the link so it goes as follows that if we oh yeah this is the next step i have to explain so we'll really get this imagine this is from shim shin pinkus imagine you see your father in terrible pain and suffering he's crying he's broken all right so if you know if you love your father it it really hurts now imagine that you discover you're the source of his suffering and pain it's because something you did has broken him and he's crying he's in agony okay so that's a metaphor for you got it that not only is the divine presence absorbing and and feeling horrible about the children's pain and suffering but we caused the agony we caused our divine parent to feel this way it's us so now if we take that to heart that our lush and hara that are anger that are pettiness that are hatred that are all that stuff if we take the heart that that is what's causing the pain and the suffering so and we regret ready we feel harata now why usually when people do chuba the reason they do chuva for the most part hashem loves it and accepts it is because we need to do chuba either it's uh arab rosh hashanah i'm sorry it's arab yom kippur yom kippur we better do truva if we want to if we want ourselves and our families be okay that's one reason people tend to do true god another reason we tend to do tuba is because there's a crisis with someone we love ourselves right i mean i know when i've had like tests medical tests and things like this or someone i love has medical tests i'm doing chuba then right so it's uh rabbi it's foxhole religion when you're in a foxhole then you do chuba okay that's how we normally do but listen to how beautiful this is says the housing silver if the reason you feel bad about speaking russian horror and having anger and judgmentalness and all those things right that has led to the destruction and that has perpetuated the destruction when you feel bad about that you feel regret you're feeling regret because of the pain of the divine parent of the sheena guess what you're that's that stimulates chuva ma'ava chuva ma'aba repentance from love if that's your motivation for improving yourself now we can understand why hashem would bring the goula what a lofty thing we can accomplish now and on tisha bob you hear this so let me review the process with you and then we're going to do the process because we're meant to do mourinho du chuva now not just on tisha button so allow me to go over this with you so you have the model we good parrots yeah that's good okay great so let's review i tried to make it easy on the three weeks we had f-a-s-t which also applies but here m-o-u-r-n so what we we begin with what we can relate to which is our suffering and the suffering through history right and by the way just if you need some probably don't but if you need a little to think about suffering you know there um i've unfortunately heard about you know how many like religious kids are are mutilating themselves like you know cutting themselves suicide you know there there's you know our children you imagine how hashem feels there are children a lot of them are just really a mess and and pain and suffering and think about the financial troubles right now in other words if if you just pay attention to what's going on now and people you know obviously so we are supposed to connect to what we relate to which is our troubles the troubles of the jews throughout the world the troubles of the world okay so remember we mourn with the tragedies we use the kinos right to think think about if this is the suffering we're go we've experienced then go to number two the pain of the sheena think of how it affects the one who made us and love us we're getting it there's a real communication that there's such a concept as divine agony again with qualifications so that's step number two number one think use this time right now and think about the suffering and the tragedies number two go another step up and think about how it affects the divine presence the one who made us love us loves us then again remember the father who's in pain and then you realize you caused it let's realize that our role understand our role in the suffering and then if we do that we'll regret our sin of cinnamon we'll regret our lush and heart regret our anger etc will regret it from such a beautiful place because we feel bad how it's affected the one who made us and loves us how it affects the one who made us and loves us and now we can do chuva ma'ava from love and that's the type of thing that is going to really really move on okay that's the process and now um i want if everybody can be prepared to write we're going to we're going to go through um right now we're gonna try to do some morning and chuva that's what i want to do i want to make sure we do it before tish above and you'll get a sense of how we how you can do it on tish above all right so if you can if you need a minute or whatever 30 seconds to get something paper and pencil or you want to write on your devices whatever it may be we're gonna we're about to do an exercise and so i just encourage you to do this with me all right so um what i'm gonna do now is i wanna share a midrish with you and like i said this midrise is going to bring a metaphor and you have to be careful to understand it in a in the right way that hashem in his essence is not affected in the way it sounds but there is a true thing in the world like this okay so i'm going to read you this midrash and if it affects you [Music] i want you to do the following i want you if you will to write a letter to hashem um empathizing with how the divine presence must feel through all that's going on and and then um you know acknowledge our role in it do vidoy and commit to you know cutting out the hatred and the negativity and the judgmentalness etc let's commit to stop as much as we possibly can okay so i want you to listen to this midrish and then write this midrash is in uh aharaba in the pasikha it's midrish 25 and i'll just give you a little context it's also discussed in rosh hashanah when before the basin mig dash was destroyed the shechina departed in stages it said it it traveled like it made 10 journeys until it completely left lyon and it began uh with the kruven in the in the code of kadoshan that was let's say that's where there's the greatest uh manifestation of the shrine is there and it says it went the screener first went from one groove to another groove and then it went um outside right there's like a little entryway to the coach kadoshi that was its next step it went out of the koshi into what's called the mif time now then it went uh to the proven [Music] and then it went to another gate so and it goes on and on so the uh the midrash is observes when it's talking about leaving it says um it was also i just described to you that it went in again to the kruven yet the language um was that it left that the shekinah left even though it went into the crewmen okay i just wanted to have that context now listen to this uh listen to what the midrash says this can be compared to a king shaya you'd say palatine he left his palace in a state of anger kisha yod say hayah hoser megapath the costly plotting as he was leaving he actually turned back and went and he he embraced and kissed the walls of his palace in the columns of his palace and he started to cry humor shalom based plotting goodbye my palace shalom goodbye my kingship by a shalombe curry goodbye my house my precious house it turned back and embraced and kissed the walls of the base of migdash in the columns of the base of big bishop and he cried the mirrors have been shalom based minashi goodbye my base of megash ali shalom base malcolm c goodbye my kingship is sean basic curry goodbye my precious home please write a letter to it to kash for who and share your understanding and empathy with the pain of the shrina and regret let's regret our behavior because we caused the pain let's confess and commit to improve i'm sorry to interrupt you i mean if you want to keep going you can it should um if you can do this again before tisha b'av and if you can especially do this one tishba please god we'll discover hopefully very shortly that we just made major inroads towards ending the exile i just want to let people know for those who are interested we're going to in terms of kavanaugh for the mitzvahs of for now and for the tisha b'av i'm going to post um i'm going to post uh the proper cabanas because it'd be a shame you know if we're if we're going to do the morning properly as we've just learned and you know if we just step back and have the kevana for it beforehand to do those mitzvahs it'll just bring it to a whole other dimension so we'll share that information with you glee netter before tishb comes in thank you thanks where's show uh i was still writing a letter um i just i just want to say that um we're living in a time with the survivors of the holocaust and um i listened to a woman named ruth brand who was one of the key spokespeople for yad bashem uh on the 17th of tamos and she described being in i guess romania has an eleven-year-old girl being told to leave her home by the nazis and she says very matter-of-factly you're given two hours what do you pack what do you take and the anguish that someone is feels when they're told harshly leave your home and that medrish made me think you know a thousand times more when kurdish barco is saying goodbye to his home obviously he's he's everywhere but he graced us with his presence in a particular place and because of our failings and our failure to protect that precious gift we force them to leave but for me a bridge to relating to that is the idea of what what we would feel if we were abruptly told to leave our homes that anguish that that that sense of dislocation that sense of abandonment you know if i can just jump in on this um the uh imagine if the home if you had actually built an orphanage and that's where you live because you were taking care of the kids and you're told to leave that home just to give a way to understand hashem leaving his home why why the divine presence is so broken by that is his home was making life so much better the purpose of the world the ability to connect to him and perceive his glory and recognize his kindness the things that were lucky were so much better off than so many of our brothers and sisters right so that's the home he had to leave and it when when his kinship was in place the world really got the point the rule really gained right right um yeah so that that that makes it even more powerful um thank you sure sure okay everybody uh let's do our best now again it's a shame to waste the uh uh these discomforts uh and not just continue every little bit every little bit is moving us just so much closer to the final redemption one one question yeah what do we do with mismo datoda uh meaning uh wait wait uh you're saying right now uh huh right so i've been i've been plugging in your tunes right right and uh i guess you know it is the the the the the sense of vacus and and and mourning for the loss is a sense of oda right right but uh you know uh i say that kind of flippantly but what i'm saying is you know there there are many there are there are a whole battery of daily mitzvahs that typically bring us symptoms excellent including learning tara so yeah so just to relate to that um first of all we're not supposed to be a famous thing like framer than god or uh hazal right and they tell us learn torah which brings joy and all these things so the it's um i mentioned this i think this year before that uh yermia wrote which is the most heartbreaking tragedy and yet you need to be in a state of simcha to have the prophecy to write to the right right right so when it there's a distinction when it comes to we'll make a first distinction but um when it comes to voda we're still supposed to do that in simcha the sh but however we see on tishbob it's so so you know like it says muta la fun the dead is right beforehand there we actually have a low tone when we uh do mario of right yeah there we're broken and so it's in until then and i think we can still metaking a lot so until then keep singing that i think it's okay it's not you know i've never seen if anyone knows differently i've never seen that you would curtail something like that uh this week but just on tisha we actually do in some level and and i understand it but could you just articulate the link between or the causal connection between truman and shortening the exile ah well i think the the the theory of of the awesome sofa look you know bitty avid uh betty avid um you you know the it says in the gemara that hashem will put another haman in place and scare the jews into doing chuva right and so biddy evid the final redemption can come from chuba mejira but um if you're doing you know you see that hashem saying a condition for the redemption is chuva now if we do chuvama'ava you can see that that would expedite things i think that's the safari there's nothing more precious to hashem than true we need it right right and that's i think that that's a gamora that says that uh chew of a mejira can exactly very good beautiful okay everybody yes your co-op thank you thank you very much [Music] is