Cry for the Pain, Then Come Eat Bread | Likkutei Torah Ki Savo'u #5

so in the mimer we are in the middle of lakota toyota the maya marquis of iowa arets vishal sahara shops shabbos bahar which is also a uh i think a schwa is the kamer in the sense that it's a major part of the mimer really a huge part of the miami really focuses on what toyota is and what learning type is and how a jew should learn entire and the relationship between the torah above and the terror below the relationship between the earth and the seed and the fruit the three aspects of tyrant terrorist source in god's infinite wisdom and then the way that is experienced in ghanaian in the higher spiritual realms where they experience the radiance of the shrine and turner experience the turner as a a powerful manifestation of divine pleasure and then there's the way the terror is down here in this world where it could be perceived superficially as simply a slew of technical intricate laws even with fantastic logic and a lot of intellectual uh beautiful ideas and and depth and and creativity and comparisons which require dissection and analysis and tremendous knowledge and deep meticulous penetration keen keen penetration into the words and into the concepts and all the different methods and formulas of terrorist studies that have developed throughout the generations both those who were more into chias which is just the knowledge of the more basic texts and and and amkus going further into the depth but the common denominator is that the terror the way it's perceived by us down here in this world is in for the most part the terror of nigella the revealed part is very tangible very concrete dealing mostly with physical physical matter physical items as he gave the examples of sukkah citizens to fill it and certainly many parts of it deal with litigations and monetary issues and civil disputes and civil law whether it's between custodians and the people who gave things to the custodians between borrowers and lenders between various uh damages that are done from one person to another person one person's animal to another person's animal issues that have to do with theft disputations between partners between between ears between spouses etc etc all of the various suggests that deal with physical matter or physical disputes between people that's like the seed the seed which contains within it the dna the dna of the seed has within it everything that's going to be in the fruit but it's not revealed it's all condensed it's all concealed it's all there but you have to have the eye for it when you plant the seed into the earth the altitude says now you have the fruit when you align the toyota down here with the terror up there kalaemer ainly ella terra field terrain light somebody says they only have tight it doesn't even have toyota dr rabbi explained at length then you have the fruit which is the revelation of the turtle the way it is in in ghanaian this was the long discussion in chapter two and then chapter three he spoke about making it one with the person and that has to do with tefillah and that's why we learn after dharvanin because in tv hashem the person really develops that oneness that commitment to oneness that that bittle of trilla and that oneness between the person and hashem during the villa becomes the preparation for the learning afterwards that it should be that the talmud the talmud ashley misha balakanva talmud has explained that length what that means this was all the concept of planting you remember the whole process of the mimer began about rayosi god says you're my shepherd you sustain me if you didn't hear the previous parts of the mimer it's important to listen to them replay them you could do that later double speed if you need to or 1.5 or double speed whatever works for you i always say double speed was created for my shirt for my shirt it says hi when i'm wearing brushville and everybody else to double speed to scare for my shrimp so people should be able to do them faster because a lot of them are long unfortunately unfortunately wherever however will you look at it i know that real doesn't like when i say it because he says that learning citrus is like listening to music and the worst thing to do for music is put it on double speed you don't put music on double speed because it's not about the information the data it's about the experience of the ainseif okay this depends where a person is in life so the bottom line is that we started so the whole mimer was discussing says you're my shepherd shepherd is that you sustain me so to speak which like when something sustains us the food becomes part of me the question is how the neshama could become one with him and he said through toyota the toyota is also physical so he says yeah but when the turner becomes you the toyota becomes part of you then you can become part of harsham but the turret is also physical so how does the title make you one this is why he went into the whole idea of toyota but he said we have to discuss the four levels of labor in the processing of bread in order to make the bread edible which is planting and then grinding and then kneading and then baking and as long as i don't go through these four stages the bread can't be edible you can't eat dough you can't eat flour and you don't need something that was just planted i mean you can eat it but it's not the bread the bread the full meal is only after the baking after the four processes and the mushroom for that is that the traitor has to be planted and grinded and kneaded and baked and then it becomes edible bread that you can digest and it's converted part of the converted into your bloodstream in other words it becomes part of you so the toyota becomes part of you and since the third is one with hashem as we discussed about planting so therefore the person becomes one so now he gets to the next step avoid the satchina avoid this so we are on page page 80 page 80 in the mimer or if you want mem column 3 it's chapter 3 chapter gimbal close to the bottom of the page first column the line begins mysteriousness if you see if gimble you go down one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven lines the line starts mysterious nephesh and we're holding by the words we discussed what planting is in our decession i have a seed i put it in the earth i align the seed with the source of vegetation the seed has to be covered in the earth eclipsed the seed has to decompose the seed becomes part of the earth and then the miracle of vegetation and produce happens what is that it's planting the turda in the source of turtle planting the territory realizing that it's words of hashem when i'm learning it's divine infinity conveyed and manifested through these physical technical halacha concepts in torah in the person as well you connect yourself you align yourself with the source with the kayak and that's why ghanaidin is a result of our away it's not a separate world it's basically seeing what there is in the seed seeing what you planted it's seeing what's contained in the seed it's the revelation of what is happening right now right here but planting is not the end of the game it's the beginning of the game so you plant it you plowed you planted it grew you harvested but it's not enough avoid this you have a kernel now you need to grind it what is the grinding this is humility a humble heart lev nishba venitka literally is a translation of is a apostate from tehillah nisbervinitka lay kim lay civism many people saying in krishna to him chapter 51 a broken and crushed heart god you don't scorn the concept is a humble heart a vulnerable heart period the word vinitka is an is an expression that is already used in parishes by alaska about what the jews did with the man they crushed it in a crusher the man they crushed in a crush you basically have to grind and crumble the fire it is when you take something and you turn it into crumbs tiny tiny particles until it becomes thin and you have particles of flour okina chica like it says by the tyrus and parishes they took the herbs of the of the terrorists the herbs that they prepared for the incense the burning of the incense every morning and afternoon in the basamiktas and those herbs were grinded and they were grinded well we say like we say in the morning in the car bonus tanera bona pitta motorist and we say right with every day the herbs had to be crushed every terrorist and that the aroma was much more powerful than it says you would grind them again it should be the thin very thin within thinness so levnitka what does levnitka mean this is an unbelievable translation usually people translate lavender means a broken heart and a crushed heart in other words i crush your heart do you crush your own heart is that really a desirable thing that can be very misunderstood i want to break your heart i want to make you feel horrible about yourself that's not what the idiot wants that's not what altareb is telling us he's teaching us here what nitka means it's like what they did to the man it's like what they did to the tourists they took it apart they dissected it that's what it really means it's the honesty it's taking something apart all arrogance is based on ignorance somebody wise once said all envy is ignorance all jealousy is based on ignorance it's seeing things from a very very narrow point of view here we're learning the same thing about arrogance arrogance is based on ignorance it's the real vulnerability to be able to be ready to take myself apart how many of us are ready are ready for that i don't mean just you know cliches yeah i'm ready for taking but really am i ready for somebody to take me apart honestly ernest am i ready for me to take myself apart take myself apart means to be really really vulnerable to look at everything not to run away not to shut my eyes that's how the altered says nitka nitka means you take something and you grind it you grind the the kernel into flour it's one entity but suddenly you grind it and you see every particle separate everything that's inside comes to the fore because you dissected it as long as you don't dissect something you only see the superficial part of it when you dissect something you get to see it from all aspects you get to see even the tiniest part of it and that's what they did to the terrorists in order for the terrorists to become tyrus to become an incense to become a beautiful aroma they had to be for shaykh we say this every morning you grind the herbs headache means you crush it you crush those herbs and only then does it become tiredness this is what grinding and avoid this hashem is it's the vulnerability that comes from my ability to really really look into myself without defenses without mechanisms that want to protect me from truth am i really ready to go into a grinder and this is a very very deep process this is a very deep process an incredible process this is what trina is in away this hashem there's no room there's no room here for for vanity for fakeness for hoodiness for arrogance it's it's really allowing myself to be to to be dissected and such people are capable of tremendous growth because they could examine themselves they could see what's happening they can make a real honest reckoning of who i am and whom i'm whom i'm not but it's not easy it's not easy especially when it's done by somebody else from tehillim chapter to hillary on aleph it's the chapter that david malek says and composes after his confession about his mistakes with bashevi david it's the psalm that david wrote and said it says after the sinha navi came to him to rebuke him and chastise him after his relationship with bashar so that's where he says leif nisbervanitka like in many many communities it's a chapter that's said by kris before going to sleep chapter 51 of tehran is not you break somebody that you just feel depressed and horrible you feel abroad like a broken person wha what's that going to do broken people can't serve hashem broken people are broken leif nisba venitka means the courage to be able to break apart to to be able to grind to be able to really look at every piece or to put it to put it differently the way you put in the beginning of the mimer it's to break through the shell it's to create an opening lave nizbar if there's a thick wall or a facade i want to create an opening a breach so that the light should come in that's a very different idea so instead of breaking yourself you're actually opening yourself now that means i get broken my facade gets broken yes my clipper gets broken yes the husk gets broken there's no way of getting to the walnuts if you don't break the shell you got to crack the shell you got to get a nutcracker and sometimes it's a thick shell you have eight walnuts right remember sometimes it's an orange you know you peel it nicely sometimes it's a banana everybody has their own shells they're on husks that's called clipper clipper means i don't break the clip because i like breaking things i want access to the fruit i want access to your fruit so i want to break through all the facades you want a technique of doing this get married get married and listen to your spouse that's the first technique that god created the next technique is call your mother-in-law every night before you go to sleep and ask her her opinion about you i'm just joking a little bit but you get the point yes not break yourself haas versus all them to break yourself absolutely don't break yourself especially not a beautiful young man as yourself i want to open myself up i want to open myself up so if there's blockages that are blocking it i want to break through the blockages it's like when you excavate you got to break the ground in order to get to the bottom of it you want to get the jewels out so i have to sometimes confront all the blockages yeah and i got to take myself apart there's nishbar and this nitka nishberries break through the blockages and nitka is really dissect what's happening and have the ability to be able to grind to go into the grind to be able to take things apart and be able to see who i am in a very honest and earnest way the gambinian lima that taylor siv will be it'll be more clear it'll be more clear let's see vegan limited this is also connected to taylor we're talking about tara because by turtle it says gursa nafshi in tehillim kofio tess chapter 119 which is david he says if not for the terror being my source of pleasure i would have been lost in my pain and my poverty so over there he gives an expression gursa nafshi what is garsanavshi my soul learned yeah it's a beautiful expression and tell him garsanafs to read to read to you i'm just i'm looking at safaria to see how they translate it into uh into english so david says my soul is consumed with longing my soul is consumed with longing for your rules at all times interesting garsanavsi so rashi says garcia is crushed my soul breaks because it's longing for your mishpathim that's what rashi says my soul breaks it's it's broken it's consumed it's completely invested and preoccupied in craving to your mashbutton to your to your statues to your learning davines says my soul is again crushed and broken it's so consumed in longing to your rules at all times it's it's a fascinating fascinating passage in in in cuff your tests says 119 verse 20. it says that by learning it also says the expression of the gemara is garcinia we have learned which is an expression in menachem it speaks about the carbon either they took the barley kernels and they grinded the barley the barn barley kernels and they put them in mills which crushed the kernels until it made them flower it turned them into flour and that was used for the carbon eimer which we spoke about at length in the maym that we learned before this in the beginning of spherocymer so learning is called gerso right you say girisha is called learning garcinia is a famous expression we learned why because real learning is you have to break apart the material you got to dissect the material if not it's not learning there's a question there's an answer sometimes people learn and they deceive themselves they don't get it they don't understand the question they don't understand the answer they don't understand the proof they don't understand the refutation when you're learning you're basically sitting with a mill and you have to grind everything apart what did you say what is the mission what does the posix say what does the mishna say how does the minister understand the person what does rashford say on the mishnah what's the question of the gemara what's the gemara's explanation you have to take it apart you have to dissect it dalton says that's why learning is called garcinia it's a process of taking things apart it's a process of grinding it's the mill richaim is a mill that crushes the kernel and turns it into particles of flour and this is also spiritually dr eva says real learning has to be done with humility that's why learning is called garcino girsa why because real learning is not just dissecting the material intellectually analytically with your mind in a cerebral fashion real learning tita must be done with the human humility the ability for me to be taken apart the ability for me to get out of my shell to get out of my arrogance my horniness the ability for me to be very very vulnerable to be very humble which is what happens when you when you take yourself apart i don't take myself so seriously my ego is not large my ego has been crushed into little pieces in other words there's a very deep bittle inside of me that's how you learn after you needed now after you grind it now you need what's need you place water onto the flower and this connects all the particles of the flower to become one entity and one single dough as long as there's no water the particles of flour are distinct from each other even though they may be in one pile in one sack of flour and one bag but nonetheless there are distinct particles you pour in water and what happens and suddenly from what do we say on the dollar e plu burris unum from many you have one from many particles a flower you have one dough that's what kneading is and then you need the dough but it's already east what is this learning and this is the idea of a person arousing the inner love to connect to hashem and to be drawn after him like water like we say in the files this isn't remember the father who was drawn after you like water he flowed after you like water not to be in a separate place not to be separate so what is needing invaders hashem what is needing in china there's a sense of ava a sense of connection in other words i pour water into the flower it's not enough that i just can take myself apart i'm a humble person i'm a vulnerable person that's step one but step two is now pour water into that and water is a cohesive substance it's something that takes the particles of flour and brings them together and that's what love does love is the connection it connects to people we're not separate we're not two separate particles we become a wave love turns a particle into a wave and that's why with light and science they're not sure if light is a particle or a wave scientific experiments have demonstrated that light is both a particle and a wave it could behave as a particle it could behave as a wave it can behave as both simultaneously behaviors neither and this is something that's startling and overwhelming for physicists it's full of paradox the truth is that love is what turns the particle into a wave in other words from being separate we become one so he says fill your avoidance hashem with love pour water onto it be drawn to him like water and then i'm not in a place of period i'm not in a place of separateness i'm in a place of connection i long for connection i want to be connected this is the idea of needing and that's why grinding always has to leave to need to needing you don't just grind because grinding without kneading could be misconstrued as just crushing breaking then you're not going to be able to connect people who are crushed can't love there's nobody to love i crush you i destroy you turn you into a shema you can't love anymore the prerequisite for love is a sense of wholesomeness love your fellow like you love yourself if i hate myself and i loathe myself and i think i'm the biggest piece of garbage in the world that i can't love somebody else the idea of love is that we actually connect two things really connect in a meaningful way if love is basically about escaping my own pain because i hate myself and therefore i'm gonna find refuge in your love then it's gonna be dysfunctional there's gonna be a lot of codependence over there because basically i'm living vicariously through you do you understand what i'm saying it's important i'm living vicariously through you so that the love needs to come from a place of wholesomeness so after the grinding how do we know it's real grinding there could be grinding that crushes you no that's not good lavender means it opens you nitki means it takes you apart to the point of honesty and vulnerability and therefore it leads to the next step which is needing needing is you bring in the ava component and the other component is the water which connects us and now the various pieces of part of the particles of flour become a cohesive integrated dough and you can't you can't reverse it try to turn dough back into flour you haven't tried once you put in the water it becomes a pneumaticist in the in the language of the rambam there's something called our coverstrainess and our cover misgus like neighbors living together and then there is when there is an actually transformation in the substance where the two become one particles of flower are like neighbors they live near each other they're next-door neighbors a doe is not a neighbor it's not neighbors it's one entity it's one it's one entity it's a holistic entity this is called cover misgus so therefore from needing after grinding you have kneading now comes up you still can't eat you still can't eat you still can't eat it you don't need dough we're getting there but you can't eat it you can't eat a terry yet what is kneading in today now we come to the baking ah you planted you planted you grinded you needed now you got to bake what's baking says it's basically similar to what the pasta says when you want to offer to hashem on offering a meal offering known as a minika which is a flower offering mafitana baked baked in an oven and that's one of the five types of menaches of meal offerings that the terrorist discusses in pasha's vahikra and later in parishes about how they brought meal offerings to the besa says the alternative so when you read that we trans we read it as we pronounce it sacrifice meaning when you want to be macro when you want to bring a carbon but because there's no vowels in the cevitharia and there's no ud you can also read it differently you can read the sikhraf that at least according to one opinion there's prominence to the way things are written over the way they're pronounced which means many words in humash are written in one way and they could be pronounced in different ways okay so for example here is a case it says the sacrifice when you want to bring a meal offering but it's not written with a you it doesn't say sof cof race you'd vase itself rage race so in terms of pronunciation if i wouldn't have a tradition of how to pronounce it if i'm reading this pasta i can also read it sikhrav when you want to become close sacrifice means when you want to bring something else close you want to bring the meal offering as a carbon that's sacrifice seeker of is when you want to become close so the alternative says in germany and in sukkah and many other places in gemara there's a famous do we give prominence to the way a word is written or the way a word is pronounced messiaris is the tradition of how it's written in a safety mikra is the way it's pronounced so there are opinions in gomorrah that yeshe emblem is cyrus the primary focus has to be on the way it's written not on the way it's pronounced because it could be pronounced in a different way than necessarily how it's written because when it's written without nakedness you could pronounce it different ways so dr ebba says it was intentionally that way if hashem had mushroom write down a word in the sevetore that could be written one way and then you have to know how to pronounce it but could also be pronounced in different ways it means that those alternative explanations are also very important that's part of the infinite brilliance of tita that every possible way in which i could pronounce the word has meaning even if i don't read it that way and create a satire so that says here these these words can also be read as not sacrificial which is why there's no yut if you want to become close the hainu when the soul wants to get close to hashem she yourself then you have to allow yourself to be baked in the oven spiritually speaking there is the concept of the sacrifice when you want to bring a meal offering that's baked but here we're saying when you want to get close when the soul wants to get close it's similar to al-tarabha's interpretation in the beginning of ayiikra adam kiyakriv mikam karbalasham should have said adam kemke akrif and he says adam kayaker of me chem carbon when you want to bring a carbon it has to be mekem from me so he says when you want to get close then the torah says when you want to get close to hashem then i have to learn how to experience the concept of baking in an oven what does this mean what does this mean this is similar to what it says in the next part in the curses leviticus 26 26 10 women will bake your bread in one oven usually it's translated as a curse that basically 10 women are going to bake bread in one oven why there's going to be a shortage of wood so therefore they won't be able to have 10 ovens everybody's going to have to use one oven because they have so little fire and they're going to bake their bread in one oven but as we know as dalton says in the terrible quesadilla in the mirror on this passage he says that all of the curses in humash and tyra it's based on the gemara and maitkaten really on a deeper level are blessings but they're so infinite that the way they're perceived down here in our language they come out as curses so he says pirush the real meaning is the deeper meaning 10 women baking their bread in one oven tanner means that i arouse in my heart a fire of love because i experience because i experience oneness because of the truth the infinite truth of hashem who fills all the worlds and encompasses all the worlds and whose presence in whose presence everything else is non-existent everything is just an aspect and an extension of hashem's infinity there's no separateness everything in his presence of mamesh is like lord khashev and has no there's nothing that can block the infinite oneness of hashem everything is subsumed in that oneness and nothing else occupies any space or any significance besides hashem so when a person really experiences this echoed asher alkane the result is to slyheid with his he becomes like an oven on fire my soul is on fire like a glowing oven with a powerful flame let's take all of the caribbean with the longing to look at the glory of the king experiencing that echoed with this battle and what that does is it causes the whole power the personality of the soul to become subsumed and to go out of its essence and its core with an intense love be saying it's a love far deeper than just the love to be connected to you because i want to quench my thirsty soul which is the water like love there is water like love and fire like love and he explains how fire and water physically are two opposites water by nature has the ability the capacity to be cohesive to connect things what does fire do naturally fire takes things apart fire dissects things and it separates them it crumbles them and it separates the elements kenoida as we know shabbat sparred them when you put something in fire the elements all get separated you say it the element of water goes out on the smoke and of course the fire element of fire goes up in the fire field from a fuser and the element of earth becomes the ashes that scattered all over the place when you put something in fire what do you expect a few minutes later it gets completely broken apart there's nothing left water is something that when you apply something to water like we learned before with the flower you pour water onto the flower and what happens it connects the pieces right we use our saliva we use water as an adhesion and that he's something that that brings things together it connects things together he says the nature of water is with sarah from it connects the nature of fire is the exact opposite you put something in fire and it gets broken apart completely not just into pieces that every single piece on its own gets completely broken apart and it turns into ashes all the parts get dissected and every component in chemistry every component of it goes up in the flame in a different aspect a different dimension of it goes up in a different aspect of the flame there's that which goes with the fire and that which goes up with the smoke basically there's a shrub i am offer the rock goes up with the smoke and the age goes up with the ancient the mayan goes up in the smoke and the offer goes into the ashes everything now falls apart and there's nothing left of the original original form of this reality it's completely destroyed so he says there's two types of love there's a love like water and there's a love like fire in the house the love that's like fire is actually very different than opposite from the love that's like water shahi ladafka boy the love of water is i want to connect i want my soul to be connected it's the love that actually it actually separates the koichis and efforts the faculties of the soul from their core meaning the soul just wants to melt away in the bosom of its father in the infinite light of hashem blessed be in other words there's ava kamayam and avakaish love like water what's my yearning what is my ambition i want to connect to you i want to be connected to you love like fire is i want to be subsumed in you it's two states of love there is the longing to find yourself in god and there is the longing to lose yourself and god both are incredibly meaningful there's the desire i want to be one with you and then there's desire i don't want to be to be or to be not that is the question love of water is the love to be i want to be with you i want to be aligned with you i want to be connected with you love like fire is i want to cease to be says there's two states i want to be with you i want to hang out with you i want to enjoy you and i want you to enjoy me that's amazing avoca aisha's i want to cease to be i don't want it to be an eye outside of you so in hashem's relation with hashem ava kamayam is i want a relationship i want to be present in that relationship avocaish is i want to become your breath i want to cease to be and that's the idea of mayam and aish because mayam brings it together and age takes whatever is and dissects it completely until it ceases to be until it's gone it's completely consumed in the fire an avoca is i want to lose myself in you i don't want to be any separation even the separation of me experiencing you i want to be completely lost i want to go out of my mathias so the alternative says as follows kneading we spoke about is ava kamayam it's pouring the water onto the flower flower and then it becomes one dough it's vacuous there's no peter that's kamayam now is a deeper stay plate you put it into the oven this is avoca esh you can only have avocado after avocado because if you have avoca before ava kamayam again it could be misconstrued in the forms of i don't want to use the word abuse but it's basically again it could come from the idea that i hate myself and i don't want to exist and you're justifying my existence which is really a form of i'm just looking for for a legitimate i'm looking to be legitimate by not being this is talking about an avocation that follows an avakamayam after there's a deep sense of oneness and connection now i don't want to find myself in god anymore i want to lose myself i want to lose myself we spoke once about the difference of yehuda and joseph and terror patches joseph is mathias yehuda is bitter joseph is talmud yehuda is my similar idea so here you have this concept sometimes i want a relationship but ultimately i want to be there i will i want to be there to experience it i want to be there to eat the birthday cake which is beautiful it's amazing but there's something deeper and that's the fire when you put something in fire there's nothing left there's nothing left everything is consumed said it says fire why is he called fire said with fire either you stay away but if you go into the fire if you dip your hand into the fire it's all-consuming with water it's not like that you can go into the water you go into the mikvah you go into the beach you go into the lake into the river into the pond to the swimming pool and you enjoy the water you enjoy the water you could put you get you can get your feet wet once once i was there you can get wait wait wait you can get your feet wet and enjoy it you can go under the water with with fire that doesn't happen i can't get my feet wet with fire if i put my feet into the fire oh yeah if i put my hand into the fire either you stay away or you're ready to go in completely and you're not there anymore you're consuming the balshampton i want a distance i want to enjoy you he says yeah you could stay far away from the fire and just look at the fire but if you want to go into the fire then you have to be ready to go in completely complete oneness that's the concept of avocaish because ash doesn't leave room for anything else h will destroy everything it takes everything apart separates it and then it takes that thing itself and gets back gets down to the core and what's left just the ashes so what happens what happens here is he says the nephesh is nishbach it gets completely consumed where there's no separateness whatsoever that's the vacuum service so 10 women will bake their bread in one oven what's what's that the jew is called a woman hashem's wife ten represents the ten kaijus of the soul so you take all the ten kaijus and you take the bread which is torah and you bake this bread in the fire of echoed fire that comes from the awareness of echoed you remember the story i told you about the altareb of the khasit who darwin for 40 years with tremendous tremendous zeal they asked him why what's inspiring it and he said that he heard from the altareba 40 years ago in every word and everything you need to remember and protect the echad within it the oneness so he says the fire that comes from eckhart from this awareness of echad from the the visceral experience of erhad this creates an age this creates a fire and i bake my bread in this fire i bake my toilet in this fire in this complete longing for vacants for oneness with no separation that's who esther nash echo all the ten characters bake the bread in the oven in the fire that comes from anchored from oneness that's the brach and that that passage so therefore we come back with isikraf when you want to get close min you got to get your mink into the oven you got to bake it with the fire that comes from what you want to ask is what's your question i didn't understand um well the jew is learning tara the bread is a metaphor for tita as we said in the beginning of the mimer so the jew is learning tara right and bread is a metaphor for toilet however what does it mean you take the bread and you bake it in the oven what does it mean you bake the bread in the oven it means that this is a type of toyota that is experienced and learned through a jew who creates this type of fire who has this type of oven the torah is baked so to speak it's it's prepared it's it's molded it's fashioned right it becomes edible in the life of a jew who's on fire the torah doesn't have to cease to exist is divine is hashem it doesn't have to cease to exist it's like in bitter god doesn't have to cease to exist it's the separateness that ceases to exist you understand yeah thank you no question yeah both my words are like fire so we compare tied it to water we compare turn it to fire just like we compare tied it to bread there's the aspect of turtle that's water that aspect of turtle that's fire but this is a murderer that converts from the balsham to that when it comes to a relationship with infinity there has to come a point where i'm not a bystander where i'm not a tourist where i'm not a spectator where i'm not a fan with fire either you stand afar and that's okay but if you want to get the fire if you want to touch the fire you have to be ready to go in got to be ready to go in and there's no and then there's no there's no separateness anymore this is understood that's what although is explaining here there's ava kamayam and avoca there's needing and then there's baking well so if you hold up if compared to brittle [Music] well it says in zoya that because joseph would have such a tremendous test in terms of the briss icebridge kiddish and he he he passed it with flying colors so somebody who passes such a test with flying colors gets the title sonic that's the title sadaq okay now today but now introduces another incredible idea about what baking is let's see what he says dr ebba says now there's another element of baking i have to tell you that the next piece in this mimer is if i could express myself this way is something something out of this world special we are now on the top of page 80 the second column actually in the bottom the first column where are we holding uh yeah the first line page 80 column two the last word on the first line is another element of baking listen to this commercial cost of it says by joseph you remember benjamin comes to yourself you remember that scene it's an incredible scene joseph hasn't seen his baby brother in 22 years and they bring down binyam and after all the negotiations and the heartache and the pain and binyamin comes and joseph sees binyamin and it says that joseph yosef yosef runs he hastens he he rushes to go into hiding to to to go into seclusion because his compassion is triggered it's it's fired up towards his brother what does it mean his flesh gets warmed up sarah means it's an expression in aramaic in me the flesh is fired it's warm you know when you have this very powerful warm feeling of passion and ecstasy and love so joseph's whole body gets so warmed up it gets so excited from this longing to his baby brother there's such a powerful feelings like a mother a father a brother you haven't seen your sibling your child in so many years and he sees binyamin who he loved so much it's his only full brother from rocco his compassion is so warm it's so fired up all compassion comes from warmth the possible says in tehillim to hillary test my heart is warm inside of me. my heart is so warm in me inside of me a fire burns and then i speak the bar table of shiny somebody once told me 39 chapter 39 until in verse 4. that's the real chabad come libby became your heart has to be on fire warmth inside there's a fire the birth of and that's how you speak so therefore dalton says rahman is comes from a tremendous sense of warmth so means his compassion was on fire his compassion was warmed up it's like when somebody's flesh becomes warm that's what rashid explains over there it's like when your heart becomes so warmed up and gets so moved it's so emotional so the altered says this is another element of baking as we will see all the jews are called by the name of yahweh says in chapter 80. the shepherd of israel listen to us the one who leads the flock the flock which is identified as joseph the jewish people are called joseph as rashi says over there we are all called joseph we all have the name of joseph but sorry and as a jew who was defined by joseph we arouse ourselves with deep compassion towards our brother binyamin and dinyamin was called binyamin why did rochell name in binyamin ben ayni the child of my pain that's binyamin ben yamin rahul called him binyamin because ben she called him ben oni yaakov gave the name binyamin rahul gave the name ben ayni the child of my pain literally it's because this child was born with shot with amid such powerful birth pangs to the point that rocco did not survive the childbirth so he's called ben aynie the child of my pain dr ebba says this is symbolic of what joseph is feeling compassion for fahinoli is this means to be a master of reckoning to consider and to make a reckoning with my soul how my soul which is divine infinity descended and descended into a very low space called hadlow from every person according to how he is aware about his own soul and to feel compassion for the divine spark that is in your soul wow this is the compassion that yosef feels for benjamin again joseph is a representative of every single jew because joseph is the one who fed the jewish people he gave us life he sustained us so we're all called joseph because he's like represents all of us he saved our lives joseph represents the jew body and joseph's heart is aroused with profound raccoon with profound compassion what does this mean because of ben only because there's so much pain here what's the pain the pain is that every single soul faces the trauma of descending from a place of absolute divine infinity into an abyss and that's even in the most functional and wholesome home even the soul went through such a powerful descent that every person just needs to have compassion for their soul and compassion for the godliness of your soul because your soul is divine and now he says every person has it in a different way because every person knows who they are so if i look at myself and i see that i'm experiencing various obstacles and setbacks i'm dealing with skeletons and demons i'm dealing with fears and insecurities i'm dealing with profound traumas dr emma says can you just have compassion because really what you are at your core is pure divinity pure infinity pure infinite love pure infinite possibility you're a helical kami malmash but this this purity comes down and it goes through so many tribulations in the roller coaster of life and all of the fluctuations and vicissitudes of life and the tragedy we call life facing life in a real way is facing a very profound painful trauma wherever you are in the scope of things that warrants compassion not judgment but compassion simply mr sarah this is what joseph he sees benjamin and his heart is filled with compassion he says every person needs to experience this to be able to have compassion for everything my soul went through in life and to have compassion for the godliness that went through all of this and what does joyce have do next joseph goes into a private room and that's where he cries he doesn't want to cry in front of his brothers the literal reason is he doesn't want them to know that he's joseph what does this mean spiritually could exceed the mysterium the passage says in jeremiah my soul weeps in hiddenness the hainu bahaduri liboy in the inner chambers of my heart there's a deep sense of grief there's a deep sense of compassion there's a deep sense of tears in the hidden chambers of my heart um and then what does yosef do you remember the story he contains himself he holds himself back he doesn't show how sad though how how emotional he is he comes out and he says let's break bread zuha bread etched in my heart on one side and tears are etched in my heart on the other side see he says this is the paradox that joseph teaches us joseph goes into a private room and he sobs for his brother and he stops for himself 22 years his brother hasn't seen him he hasn't seen his brother he brings up all the pain of the separation all the trauma of what happened to him everything he's been through yaakov has been through benjamin has been through the whole family has been through but that he does privately he comes out wipes his tears away by his opaque holds himself tight back holds himself strong let's eat what's this it says we live in two planes one part of me my inner heart is always feeling that compassion i'm aware of that pain and i can cry for that pain i can grieve for that pain it's very dependent it's the pain of the shechina it's the pain of the divine energy the divine spark that's in my soul and goes through everything i go through but he says don't just live in grief and tears and compassion another side of you has to say okay let's go learn zua because this is a source of healing some people become addicted to grief they become addicted to feeling bad for themselves and that's a form of victimhood yes feel the pain but now it's time to bring out the bread what's bread the bread is tired and now tonight says both both are very genuine things our heart has different dimensions there's joy etched in one part of my heart and this tears etched in another part of my heart that's why it says joseph came into a private chamber and he cried there shamadik over there he cried you can't allow the tears to take over your whole life wherever you are you're crying wherever you are you're feeling compassion for the descent of the soul yes it's something very very deep but you have to be able to realize that life is not just about compassion for all of the tragedies all of the trauma but there's something right now i can do in order to choose connection to choose vacant to choose oneness and that is let's eat bread this is the paradox with which the spiritual person lives with which the sensitive person lives at the same moment there's that private chamber where there's a lot of tears yeah yeah there's a private chamber there's an inner one second one second there's an inner space where there's a lot of tears where there's a lot of compassion where i cry for ben oyny for the child of my distress for all of everything my soul and my body went through because my soul is a helical kami mal and it has in the denizens of electros and in all it's i'm crying even for the crying for the skin as well like we learned on tuesday we did seven teachings of the balsamic one of them is that when i daven it's not just personal i'm davening for me my children i'm leaving for the shrine you're darwining for your child you're having for hashem you're darwining for your health you're damning for hashem because we are a manifestation of the shrine when you're missing something is missing something it's not just personal it's my thing it's my need it's my you're actually praying for god it's not personal you're a messenger of god very powerful stuff comes down to here and says yes there's a deep space where that compassion is very very profound and that's where joseph's soul is so warmed because rahmanus always comes from a place of warmth from a place of connection of being sensitive and empathetic to what you're going through what the other person is going through and simply having compassion it's not about a solution it's just to experience what is happening in a very sobering and authentic and compassionate way without judgment and that always comes from warmth it's a beautiful expression here in this moment rahmanus comes from a sense of warmth not of judgment you can't have compassion when you're judging you can have compassion when you're feeling when you're warm when you're warm to somebody when you're warm to yourself joseph was warmed up his entire body was warmed up his heart his compassion was warm then and he had to go into a room and cry and then he comes out and says let's eat bread and dr ebba says this is an allegory for life there's that part of me that cries for binyamin it feels the pain of binyaman the child of distress which is me there's been yemen inside of me and the yosef inside of me could cry for the benjamin inside of me ben aine the child of my pain and that's in a very deep place by mysterium tifkanav and beyond what other people might recognize sometimes these tears are very open i could cry in front of people i could cry in front of my friend i can cry in front of myself in front of my spouse in front of god in front of my therapist in front of my teacher in front of my confidants or in public but the point is this is in a very deep deep place in a person and simultaneously the person could contain themselves and say and now let me do things let me live a life that promotes connection that promotes vacuous we spoke about baking how do you bake something in a fire this is the fire of rahman the fire of compassion wow so there's two interpretations of baking in this miami one is the baking the age that causes the person to completely experience oneness i go out of my mates i don't want to find myself in you i want to lose myself in you i want the eye to cease to be an eye that's separate the trait is baked in that vacant and that passion and that fire dripping says but baking is also something else baking represents the fire of rakhima the fire of compassion for the pain and it's fascinating that these are his two interpretations of baking because at the surface they seem paradoxical first interpretation is about you completely subsume the second interpretation is you're feeling compassion for the pain but those are both true elements in a person because i want to be completely subsumed and yet there is the distress there is the pain there's the trauma that separates me and i have to be able to have compassion for that and now my toyota is baked if you don't have this warmth if i don't have this warmth this rachel there's no fire that's going to bake my turret and what happens when the toyota's baked shenivalabevorinde malka now baked turda you can eat who else can eat it it becomes absorbed in god in hashem's limbs just like when something is baked it's edible for me when the torah is baked and so to speak edible for hashem what do we mean when the toyota is baked now it could be eaten both by man and by god so to speak meaning it becomes part of hashem's bloodstream it's absorbed in the limbs of the king it's completely one with ain't seif it's not a separate toyota anymore in the beginning of the mimer he asked toyota how could toyota make you one le staffer but good for the multi-toyota itself has descended but he said but you planted the turtle and you grinded the turtle and you kneaded the tighter and you baked the toyota you planted the tighter you grinded the tighter you bait you kneaded it tighter you bake the diner now it's baked bread now it's edible now it's part of ain't safe and you know what happens and when i absorb this toyota also it's baked now it's edible for me it's completely absorbed in the limbs of my nepheshalicus it becomes completely one with me and it's one with ain't seif so now the person is completely one with ensigf this is the vacas with hashem that happens through torah the way the altar describes it which is unprecedented and unlike any other vegas in the world you know i should just say parentheses you know people accused hasidim not cherishing toyota you look at this mimer and you see how he describes that even the neshama itself is a yesh the ultimate vegas le shtava but go for the market to become one mamish with ain't safe where we become hashem's rayasi my shepherd we sustain and we become his food in other words we cease to be separate happens through toyota i turn also descends into the physical world this is the whole nightmare you have to plant the turtle you have to grind the toyota you have to knead the turtle you have to bake the toader now it's edible now it's one with ain't scythe the physical toner down here is mamasheen sofa itself it's the seed it's ain't safe and it's the seed that was planted and it's the seed that was grinded and it's the seed that was needed the seed that was baked and then it's absorbed in me edible bread it's absorbed in me it becomes one with me so me and the ain't scythe have the deepest fusion and here we really see the synthesis you see the altar they used to call the litvak in the lit by the litvak the vilnigan and the whole litter the main thing was learning learning learning learning learning and they scored the hasidim who focused a lot on davaning and simcha and dancing and celebration of life and elevated the status of different types of jews cetera et cetera you see the altera you see that extraordinary synthesis between these two worlds by going to a much deeper place by going to the panemias so he explains that real ultimate vacancies through china but he's explained to you what tayden is don't just look at the title from a superficial perspective from a ghash music perspective as an intellectual pursuit don't look at the toyota as something that's a tool of arrogance but don't even look at the titus simply as an intellectual pursuit of learning physical things you have to take the turret and plant it and grind it and knead it and bake it so to speak it's not that the turtle needs it it's that we need it in order to reveal what toyota is i should just clarify that so now the toyota becomes an expression of ain't safe and once you look totally that way it's the deepest vegas and then the torah doesn't separate you from people terror doesn't separate you from simcha trader doesn't separate you from seeing the godliness in every person and everything wow okay we'll take a break here and uh we're going to finish the mimer by azer hashem beijing hashem will finish the mimer sunday morning because i want to finish the mimer before schwarz so sunday morning we will finish this mimer it's going to be sunday morning at eight o'clock am and bazer hashem will finish should i take some questions can you please explain the concept of i don't i see a question explain the concept of bell of belle orber not i don't understand okay next question what's the best way what's the best way to characterize the relation between the written material that anyone can be taught as tyra and the real inner essence that has to be learned through labor and inner effort listen every aspect of terror has infinite layers and you know that once said about hummus she says everybody learns that the greatest you know the greatest sage and the simplest the youngest child everybody understands something nobody understands everything you said the expression to be or to be not i thought shakespeare said to be or not to be yes that was a spin instead of saying to be or not to be i was saying to be or to be not and that's the be difference can you elaborate to that differences yeah to be or not to be to be or not to be is to be or not to be what we were talking about is not to be or not to be it's to be or to be not to be in a state of not and that's the difference of ava kamayam and avakaish ava kamayim is to be i want to be connected and avocaish is i want to be not i don't want to find myself in you i want to lose myself in you it was just uh it was just using the pun to bring out the point you don't have to fight you don't have to fight tiff's so much in it huh yeah next question you can ask yeah um i thought we also said i came to him and we uh like from sheffield from uh or from okay no because he's talking about how joseph was crying for benjamin joseph yosef sees binyamin and he's crying for him and he goes into a room and he cries there and then he holds he contains himself and he comes out and he says let's break bread well rashi says something very special and that is that you know joseph asked binyamin you know how many children he has and beyond said that he has 10 children and he asked them for the names and miyamoto told them the names and they were all named because of yosef so basically what happens is the brothers come back with binyamin and joseph recognizes him and it's very very emotional for him and he wants to cry but he doesn't want to cry in front of them so it says he goes into a private room and that's where he cries and he's rushing because his he feels so much compassion and so much warmth and so much empathy and so much pain and he really wants to cry so he goes into a private room and he cries and what happens afterwards is it says he washes his face he washes his face he comes out by his epic he contains himself and he says okay let's eat bread together and that's when they have a meal together and the oyster sets them up around the table and it says that they drank and they became inebriated as rashi says from the day that they sold them they did not drink so for 22 years they have not had a drink they didn't have a lechaym and this was the first time so it was a very very special moment but what we see from here is that you have this duality where he's crying in his room and then he washes his face he comes out and he says now let's eat bread eating bread is a muscle for torah dalton says both exist when you eat bread after you cry in the room it's baked bread because rachel mim is the baking with the bacon yosef's the prerequisite the introduction to learning learning is eating the bread but the bread first has to be baked in midas and that's the middah sarakamim that joseph has on benjamin when the torah is permeated with that compassion with that warm feeling of a fear when you have that fire burning the compassion for all the pain that exists in your soul all the pain that exists in your life and the life of your loved ones in the life of the world when you could really feel that pain you can just experience it and have compassion for it and on the nitzotlacus in your soul now the bread is baked now the tata is a toyota that will really connect you with the encyfe it's a toyota that can be absorbed inside of you because it's baked it becomes part of you and it's a tighter that becomes completely part of the insight if it's absorbed in the encyphe that's what happens and that turner that toyota is the big brand and i'll tell you and don't just stay in the grief don't just stay in the compassion translate it into translated into into the learning of torah and also is it higher than twitter like they say now is going to like no no in this mind mary in this mind mary clearly says that phil is an introduction to tyra there's obviously this milestone filler of a tower but there's miles in in in tired of it feel it and this mimer uh uh filler is an intro to tyra there's many things in which tighter is greater everybody have a wonderful day and a wonderful shabbos and everything with we should hear good news from our brothers and sisters in eretz israel and sending my love to all of you to have a beautiful amazing inspiring day filled with the energy of planting and grinding and needing and to be baked in the fire of oneness and to be baked in the fire of compassion you understood everything amazing this is this is a this is an incredible incredible mimer incredible that's how they that's how they rate the uh mimers some are incredible and some are incredible incredible and some are incredible incredible incredible the truth is like this to rate the my mimer is really it's uh it's mamash it's it's like it's like raiding infinity you know start raining ain't so if it's not but fart but fart you know uh uh uh with fart you see that you know sometimes the truth is that sometimes the mind that you're learning is the most incredible one i once heard from the laboratory he said want something very interesting he said you see an interesting contradiction in works of musa and ashkaf siddhis which every yamtiv they talk about it becomes the most important yum tiffany discard if you're talking about pesach there's nothing greater than peso rosh hashanah oh son has everything young kipper hanukkah the deepest purim purim is above everything it's greater than him he says which one is it which one is it every hump if that yumpta becomes the greatest and he said something so beautiful he says when you're in that yumtif that is the greatest yamtif because when you're in that experience this is the shah this is the portal through which you connect to truth so when you're in middle of pesach yes this is it it's greater than everything and when you're important this is it it's not it's not it's not it's not like it's not fiction it's like okay you know now we're here so this is the best this is the best and it reminded me if i may my wife had a grandmother they called her nanny a very special sweet woman from pittsburgh so my wife told me that in her 80s she was already an older woman and she had a challenge with with breathing and various health challenges but she was a very spirited person so my wife asked her one she said nanny which period of your life was the best you know what do you look back at as the best period and she looked at her and with sincerity she said whatever period i'm living that is the best that is the best now this is the best and it's really the right approach to life because if this is where i am this is it this is the best this is the most incredible experience somebody once said nostalgia nostalgia today is not what it used to be like people used to know how to be nostalgic so when we live only in that nostalgia you know we're not living in the moment so that's why every mimer is really the most incredible miner but i should say within that itself you see you could sometimes it's a myman that really you know it speaks to you in in a unique way it's because where you are in life so that itself we also it's important to acknowledge that and celebrate that right right so that's the way for those who are around for those who are around schwes in our neck of the woods by hashem sunday night 12 30 a.m we will have a shear in the tent on four shay road behind 24 shea and tuesday afternoon six o'clock there will also be a lecture in the tent this is for men and for women so you have a learning program all night uh by you well i'm going to be speaking sunday night at 12 30 till approximately 2 or 2 30. um there'll probably be some other shirim and people learning etc they usually have a lot of refreshments that's going to be sunday night 12 30 a.m that's first night of schwes our shabbos schedule is is regular regular schedule and then the second day of schwa is in the afternoon six o'clock we're going to have a another lecture in the tent again men and women and youth are all invited that's the second day of schwa is late afternoon before minh it will be followed by minha and by a uh fabregan and a mimer in honor of the conclusion of yamtiv which will be tuesday evening after minh and 20 for shay but first preceded by a lecture in the tent i wish everybody a beautiful and inspiring and meaningful day and everything and we should hear good news from each other but especially from our beloved sisters and brothers in eritrea the kharif i think i think that for bringing in the uh neil's a hug part of it will be after the hog so people could drive even if they're home and they want to come right depends how much patience that people have to stay after yumt if sometimes people get very itchy you know they had shabbos and two days yumtiff and you know they haven't been with their phones and they're having you know separation grief you know separation grief from your phone you know people who have phantom experiences you ever feel your phone vibrating on shop it's not unibarrant but a lot of people they feel their phones vibrating it's called phantom iphone disease so uh so for people have patience yeah so we should not comment perform nostalgians anymore yeah it's interesting that the bread also needs the other two elements besides water and flower besides uh besides water and fire it needs earth which is the flower itself and it needs air to activate the yeast to make it rising so it has all the four elements in it again say that again the bread needs what the bread needs earth adama which is the flower itself earth flower right and it needs air to uh to activate the yeast you need air and of course you need the water you're saying and then you need the fire that's beautiful so you're saying when you bake the lecha of course you have the fire to bake and you have the ruach the ear in order to activate the the yeast and you have of course the upper the particles of flour and you have the maya beautiful yeah one of my sons read these years ago asked the class you know when you can cook on chabas and they said uh you know then he said yeah well like dominant by dominating yeah you know yeah very good cooking by sun mina toyota is not the problem minotaur is not a problem when you cook with the sun you know people would fry eggs under the sun you remember when you ever went camping and you fried eggs from the sun with a magnifying glass you ever created that fire in camp they used to always do it on the hot days channel the heat of the sun through the magnifying glass and get the paper on fire so the gemara really discusses are you allowed to cook with the sun on shabbos and what about with the told us are something that's on fire because of the sun it's an interesting discussion so you have different types of cooking that certainly biblically are permitted on shabbos and even rabbinically the difference between the sun and the tuldus are so so the teacher's question is a good question my wife and i were discussing