Couples need to trust themselves.

I need to believe that they know where they can find connection more than I can. I can give suggestions, they try it, it doesn't work. Let's try something else. It doesn't work. Let's try something else. It doesn't work. And we're essentially troubleshooting, trying to see what sticks. More effective approach is to empower the couple to notice when connection had recently shown up. Maybe it's been a while, but it was there, which is why you want it. You don't usually want something you haven't sampled. And when they start looking for when they've experienced connection and start envisioning what that experience would look like in the future, they start realizing what the proper pathway to connection is. We have our own interests and because of that, we try different pathways to connect to people and sometimes they're not the correct pathway. They're not it's not how they like to be connected to. Noticing when we had had that connection in the past and envisioning what it might look like for the future will actually open the brain to understanding more pathways of connection for the future. [Music]