Considering Divorce? Watch This First

Hey, so if you are going through a difficult time in your marriage, you are struggling in your relationship, you feel like you're not communicating well with your spouse, you feel lonely or isolated, for some reason, you're just not connecting, and you are either considering getting relationship help either with me or with anybody, or you're in a circumstance where you would like to get relationship help, but your spouse is not on for it. Your spouse isn't interested or your spouse is afraid. Your spouse doesn't know what to expect or may maybe has had negative experiences with with visiting a therapist or a or a coach. I'd like to share with you a couple of guiding questions that I think is going to help you. Now, the truth is as you're watching this video, I I cannot diagnose you. I don't know exactly what you're struggling with. I don't. I'll be honest. But guess what? I could still help you because if you're watching this video because you want help in your relationship or you're considering getting relationship help, no matter what the issue is, the one thing I do know about you is that you hope for something better. You hope that things can change. You hope that the relationship, the dynamics can shift. You hope that there's a better version of you and maybe even a better version of your marriage that you can experience. And what I'd like to do with you right here in this video is just ask you a couple of guiding questions that can steer you in that direction. Sounds good? I want you to imagine for a moment that you're coming home after work and you're about to walk in the door and greet your spouse. And I I want this simulation. Again, I don't know you specifically because I'm addressing several people in this video, many people in this video. So, you can play around with this to make it a little bit more real to your circumstance. Maybe you're home already and your spouse is about to walk in the door. Maybe your spouse is at home. You're about to walk in the door and before you meet, before that moment of getting ready for tension, getting ready to face what felt like disconnection or getting ready to face confrontation. Before that moment, you somehow caught yourself just for a moment. think being content, being confident, being happy, feeling like I'm actually not dreading this. I'm I'm actually I actually I actually want this. Um what is the first thing you'd notice about yourself? Let let me ask the question differently. Imagine you and your spouse did go to marriage counseling and you felt like it worked. What would be different about you? What is the version of you that you're hoping to become? Is it a more confident version of yourself? A happier version of yourself, a calm or more peaceful version of yourself? Who are you looking to be by bringing your spouse and yourself into marriage therapy or counseling or coaching? Let me ask the question a little bit differently again because I think all these different angles can be really helpful. Who were you when you were first excited about being married to your spouse? Either you were dating or maybe even after you were dating at some point you shift something shifted from I'm just meeting this person to I actually want this to work and when you wanted it to work who were you and that version of you what did that version of you look for in your spouse and if you were to somehow discover this version of you I'm curious to know what you think the first thing your spouse would notice in you that's different if he or she would look at you and say something's something's good. What is the first thing your spouse is going to notice in you that's different that tells you both, hey, this is the direction I'd like to go into. Uh this is what I'd like to see more of. When you discover the best version of you, the highest version of you and you turn it into an identity, you might not know yet how to get there. But the moment you discover who you want to be, you are going to find so much evidence of that version of you being part of your identity. When you discover the calm, peaceful, happy, joyous, content, connected version of you. I'm not trying to tell you who you need to become. I just want you to notice who you want to become. Because when you do, you are going to start seeing evidence from that. You've done it before. Somehow, you've had difficult moments before. And somehow you've pulled it together to become the version of you that you need to become. And that is the version of you that's going to put you on the journey and on the trajectory toward your relationship healing.