Committing to Grow a Beard | Letter #24

good evening welcome to 30 letters in 30 days we are up to a letter number 24. can you believe that that means we have less than a week until we finish less than a week until you know if Nissan and I may have some information people have been asking me about whether there will be a an event at the end like we did last year I don't have information yet but uh behind the scenes we're working on it I do have information however about the booklet last year the booklet was a big Smash and we had it ready in time before the 30 letters began this year um it was a work in progress so we had the PDFs that you all download every night from 30 letters 30days.com but a a printed booklet Hashem will be available soon and we'll have more information but you can go to 30 letters30days.com for uh for more information when it is available somebody's writing here in the YouTube chat please do 30 letters 30 days all year okay then it would become 365. letters would have to change the title okay tonight a short letter but uh a gem of a letter every really every letter in the egress is a gem of a letter some of them you have to work a little bit harder some even if you uh just read it cursorally you already are struck by by the power of it this is one of those letters where I don't know I think if you read it too quickly you might not get the point but you know before I start the letter I just want to mention something um I was taking a walk with my wife yesterday and I was talking about the egress shear and no she does not see every class she's busy raising my kids so she doesn't always see every class but I I said to her you know there was a big bombshell the other day in one of the classes and I'm not even sure if I adequately brought it out and it was the letter to um debruskin but Romania he had been in Romania and he was in Haifa now and he was supposed to be helping the Romanian immigrants and he had a lot of stress yeah and we we spoke about it in this year he had a lot he had like real legitimate sources of uh emotional stress and uh so I told my wife you know what blew me away is you know that every first tells him well you're seeing this responsibility as a stress but if you see it as an opportunity to help people then you know it's not stressful that it's that's actually it's a it's a good thing it's a happy thing and so I said to her you know that I I I hope this doesn't sound crass but like that's not like mind-blowing that observation like because a lot of people could make that observation like hey it depends how you look at it you could see this as something stressful you could see this is something uh enjoyable right okay you know glass half empty glass half full positive thinking what I'm saying is that that part wasn't mind-blowing but what the Debbie said later in that letter that basically validating the person's uh stress and saying yeah you do need some self-care I'm using the language of 2023 but yeah you do need you do need some self-care and this job itself this communal work that you're doing this itself can be healing and calming and therapeutic this is your self-care I said that was mind-blowing that was mind-blowing that we can be stressed out and feel that life is not allowing us to take on a good project because it's just too much extra stress and that flips a switch and says no that project is going to help others not only do you have room for it but it's not extra stress it's healing that's your therapy and I remember also my dear friend and mentor Rabbi Josh Gordon Oliver Solomons the yard site was last month I actually went out to Tarzana for the art site remember him telling me that you know he had a lot of money he had to raise he had payrolls to cover and big budget big yearly budget and I remember him telling me that when he was doing the daily rambam uh that was really the end of his life that was the last few years he was doing a chapter a day of ramadan.org and he said with all his pressures Financial pressures and keeping his his institution running um he said he gets up at five in the morning to prepare his Rama because the ramam Shir the one that everyone listens to recorded that was recorded right after chakras so what else is he supposed to prepare it he would get up at five in the morning and he would learn Robin and prepare it and then he would go to chakras and then after chakras he would teach the the class so he told me I remember this so clearly he told me my rambam therapy I get up at 5am and I learn rambam and have all these pressures but you know what I have my my rambam therapy so you could say here's this guy he has so many pressures on him and now on top of that he has to prepare another chapter of rambam every day before he goes and teaches it publicly and it's like the pressure of teaching it is being recorded people are going to listen to it no it wasn't extra pressure for him that was his therapy he called it his rambam therapy okay at any rate there were a few other Bombshells I told my wife on that walk but I don't want to gobble up all the time from tonight's ladder but I just want to share that with you again because that bombshell was really um I wasn't sure if I did Justice to it when we when we learned that letter and like I said that was the letter to uh the bruskin and if you want to know which letter that was I'll tell you right now actually if you bear with me um what was it helping others makes you healthier letter number 18. okay so you can go check that out again and when we get the booklet you could reread it in your booklet all right Hashem hey ear touching your test Brooklyn Shalom by the grace of God the fifth day of the Hebrew month of year 5719 that's the spring of 1959. Brooklyn uh greetings and blessings that I was writing to a man because it says greetings and blessings and also because he talks about growing a beard and he talks about his wife expecting a baby so it's a man see I'm Sherlock Holmes I figured it out um I'm not going to tell you anything more about this man I don't know his name I don't know his name I don't know his identity um I'm gonna guess he's not a lubavitcher and I'll tell you why uh in a bit I'll tell you why I'm pretty certain he's not a laborator um yeah when we get to the when we get to that I'll tell you that uh somebody wrote this is exactly what I needed to hear what what was exactly what you needed to hear whatever I said because I don't know when you typed that I just saw it now um yeah so he's probably not a little barbecue you're going to find out why in enter of Aya brief from base year an answer to your letter from the second day of year this is Yiddish that I was writing to a man in Yiddish we've seen a lot of letters where the dev is writing to women in Yiddish uh that I was writing to a man in Yiddish that usually means well first of all it means a guy's probably not an Israeli because he was would have spoken Hebrew but it also means he's probably not so scholarly probably uh a regular balabas as we say just a regular as far as scholarship goes just a regular Jew um not a rabbi not a not a talmuda just a regular I'm no there's no such thing as just a regular Jew but as far as scholarship uh a Layman that's the word I was searching for a Layman okay so an answer to your letter from the second day of year which is the accounting experience if you're counting the sphera and every night you have a sphera can I get the the the the spheroes the mid-ice and the the sub categories of Midas as they are within the other Midas so on and so forth so base ER is that's what it is it's also some somewhat of a known I guess you would call that a uh almost like a a known phrase in Lubavitch it has more meaning than just the the sphere that you're you're refining on the base ear it's the birthday of the rebe maharash the fourth of Chabad so in fact sometimes the rebel would even refer to the rabbi maharash is a whole concept but doesn't go into that over here um for whatever reasons I was happy to read in it in your letter as alts gate besider Taylor kale everything is going well thank God foreign so God willing you should always report nothing but good news both in your physical health as well as your spiritual health I don't know if the person had a problem and he had written to the web about it before or if the debit was um just telling him I'm glad everything's good I'm glad you're healthy you should just continue being healthy that's it's not clear to me it's not clear to me but uh at any rate that ever gives him a nice brother here to only have good news to report regarding uh everything and he should have good health materially and spiritually all right that's first and foremost and and I think it's interesting by the way because the next thing that uh that everybody gets into is a very specific Mitzvah a Mitzvah that is dear to the rabbit we know something that rabbit um spoke about and spoke about with a with a special um care and importance and yet at least to me it was instructive that before that Emma gets into that that ABBA first just says I'm glad that you're doing well I'm glad that you're healthy and you should always be healthy I think that's an instruction to us they say uh people don't care what you know until they know that you care so first and foremost I'm glad that you're doing well shamtv used to go around just doing that you just ask people hey how you doing how's the wife and kids how's how's paranasa how's your health so first and foremost I'm glad you're doing well that's great you should continue to be well all right now we get into the special Mitzvah that this person's writing about regarding what you write about allowing your beard to grow all right here it is here it is letting a beard grow zelp's freshden look it is self-understood as ears you are correct meaning the guy himself said this and that is affirming that it is correct up to unhealth indus you have to do it in a way where you're going to maintain it where you're going to hold on to it via State Foreign and you will not um how should I translate this that as it is mentioned in tour and and brought in you're not going to be affected as it says over there quote of Allah do not be ashamed before the scoffers end quote okay it's a lot to unpack here first of all just mention not to be embarrassed or ashamed in front of the scoffers that ever mentions in many places that there's a reason why this is at the very beginning of um why because this is the foundation of all of Torah observance if you can't overcome your self-consciousness and the peer pressure and the feeling of judgment if that's going to be an impediment in your life then you can't really follow any of the foundation of meaning all the rest of the laws of of of are contingent upon the the observance of all the laws of contingent upon a person's ability to commit to them no matter what anyone else is going to say I answer to a higher authority you know this is what God wants and if other people don't approve I I have to do what God wants so that's that's why that's at the very beginning of it's really the foundation of everything if you don't have that clear sense of um I have to do what's right and I know it's right and even when it's difficult and even when other people don't like it uh then then the rest of is going to be very very difficult okay so that's one thing I want to comment on but there's another thing here which is imagine if the guy would have written to the debit and said I'm going to start putting on filling um but I know that I should really only start if I'm going to do it every day and never stop I can't imagine that I would write him back and say you're right that it's very important that if you start you should do it in a way where you're going to be able to continue I think that ever would take any any offer any bid to put on fill in that everyone would take it and say do it and just keep doing more and if you're not perfect at first just keep doing more and more and more but here with the beard it's like that I was saying hold on a second you know it's like let's evaluate this commitment it's a good thing it's no doubt it's a good thing but let's make sure that if you're gonna do it you're really gonna do it and the reason is that the beard is a very complicated thing um look we all know two Jews three opinions and I don't say that derisively actually I say that with absolute awe it's amazing how Torah is so complete in its world view that it contains as it I guess would not surprise you that Infinite Wisdom would have the capacity to Torah contains uh dissenting opinions and opposite views that range from one extreme to the other uh and and that's that's not a bug that's a feature and I could speak about that at length how um I guess I'll say in the name of my ancestors that Maisha the one who received the Torah the name Maisha is the Russia Davis maklaikus the disputes of shamai and hello in other words the fact that we have dissenting opinions in totah is part of the beauty of Torah the tiferas of Torah Taira is that middle calf like uh I mentioned a few nights ago Thursday night when we're learning about the the cover of talks and tales I mentioned very much in passing but you have the three axes of Toyota Avada and gemellos the the central kav the center axis which is tiferes and um it's wide-ranging and it has wide capacity and it is able to contain all types of valid perspectives so here's the thing not all halachic opinions hold that you have to have a beard now every halachic opinion agrees you're not allowed to destroy the beard that it says clearly it's a bit that's a Biblical injunction but then there's discussions about what destruction of the beard actually means is it only with the razor what if you do it by with other methods and it's really it's the same who was the grandson of the altarebin the third Rabbi of khabad who is extremely strict in this regard was not just a teacher of Sid this of mysticism but also a pic he ruled in halacha uh in fact that name that we call him by is the name of response a collection of Allah they tell a story that the the div was once he was so smart and so quick he used to when he would write his rabbinic response he would read one letter while writing the answer to the previous one he would like do double time and one time he was reading one letter and answering that letter without reading or answering any other letters at the same time so his sons noticed and they asked why he was doing this and he said well I really am doing two letters at once like I normally do but in this case it's one letter that's two and then there were more puzzled he said I'm I'm writing right now with and when we have a discussion in halacha it's also a discussion in Kabbalah it's two ladders at once so I really am still doing two letters at the same time um so the Tomato rules as a matter of I'm not talking about Kabbalah now Kabbalah is very clear about the beard representing good gimul to Kuni digna um the Kabbalah is the Kabbalah says explicitly how important a beard is and those who follow Kabbalah are very very careful about the beard also in negle in in terms of the legalistic realm of Toyota very clearly rules um that it is a Biblical prohibition to uh to trim the beard and he's very strict in that in that regard and there are other possum there are other uh legal uh deciders other than the Merced and there are many good God-fearing Jews who follow those other uh decisions and authorities you follow what I'm saying here I'm I'm trying to build up the fact that the beard is different than another Mitzvah so like I said earlier if the guy would have written and said I'm going to start to put on fill in but I'm not sure I could commit to it should I start that I would just tell them start putting on filling you know and do your best and do more and more with the beard you see that ABBA is agreeing with him that like you have to make sure before you start that you're really gonna do it because you don't have to do it but if you do take it on then you then you're committed to doing it then you you're really supposed to continue because then you are accepting the sock of the Tomato in other words you don't have to start but once you start it's very questionable whether you can stop and uh that's why I said earlier remember I said I'm pretty certain this guy is not a lab avature why do I say that because if he were a laborator I don't think that ever would equivocate so much about whether or not he should start um when a labavage would write to the rabbi that it was very very clear that because of his pre-existing connection to exidis it's already sort of a built-in obligation he can't he can't go away from it there's a there's a letter in egress where somebody writes to the web about whether he should have a beard and that ABBA says to him I don't know you personally so I don't know how much of a connection to Toyota you have if you are connected to Sidis then it's a very serious thing to maintain a beard if you're not then there are other opinions that you could rely on um it's interesting over there that everybody gives a martial that if a person gets uh if he eats uh peels so they're hard on the stomach but you know it's not the easiest food to digest but you'll be okay you know it'll pass through the system but if you get those peels in your lungs God forbid it's going to do real damage so the Devil Makes a point that different people are like different organs and they have different tolerances so somebody who's connected to Titus not having a beard could do damage to him somebody who's not coming from that background then there are opinions that he could rely on and it's not going to damage him at any rate my point is that somebody who was already connected to to this that I would very much openly say to him you know this is important also someone who had already started doing it um there are letters in egress where somebody would say I remember last year in the 30 letters 30 days somebody wrote to the rabbit and said they think that they didn't get a job because of their beard and the devil said it's not even possible because having a beard is a good thing it's what Hashem wants and why would you suffer for that to the contrary having a beard is going to bring you success in life and success in business uh so no don't don't don't don't blame the beard there are letters where a young man a bachar has written saying I think it's hurting my chances to to find the because I have a beard and the rabbit did not let him off to the contrary that ever said the beard is going to help you find the best the beard is gonna is gonna improve your sugar so somebody who already had it somebody who already was connected to the whole concept of it the devil would tell them very clearly how important it is but somebody was coming from another background and hadn't yet started then it was a it was a different answer you know it's interesting I heard a story uh there was a bachar in 770 in the early I think it was in the early years who was struggling with having a beard and the rabbit told the hanhola the administration of the Yeshiva to encourage this bakar to have a beard but don't tell him it's from me don't tell it's tell don't tell them it's for me because I already have a beard and if he knows that I said to do it he's going to do it for me and then it's my beard not his beard you know if if hanhala tells him if the the administration the Yeshiva tells him he still has free choice you know he could decide whether or not he wants to do it if the debit tells you it's almost like at that point you know it's it's a little bit hard to to not do it and and you see here that the Reba's attitude toward it was of course it's good to do of course it's important to have a beard but it's not something that ever would push you into doing um Zaman Jaffe who was close to the debit for decades until he actually had a beard he didn't have a beard until I think was the 1990s when he maybe the late 80s but uh when he finally grew a beard that ever wrote to him and told him how beautiful he had ever said you know because his name Jaffe beautiful he said you look you look beautiful uh now you have your beard that I've never told him before that to have a to have a beard right uh even the famous story I think a lot of people know about um by the way that ever sent him fifty dollars for the beard uh the famous story about uh Barrel Weiss from La about the thirteen dollars for the 13th the devil didn't tell him he had to have a beard he asked a question he said how can I have Toyota how can I have how can I become a Torah scholar and be successful in business and that was said for that that's a special broccoli usually you can only have one or the other to have both really you need a special way to contain that bracha and it's it's a beard so even there it's not like that ever told him hey I got an idea for you it was more like you want this this is what you have to do for it um and so to hear this person is writing and he's telling the rabbi that he wants to start doing it so the devil says okay you're right uh this is something you have to do very carefully and you have to be ready to commit to it and to take it on and to stick with it okay let's let's let's continue here badens [Music] baden's here means both of you but uh what does that mean that I was going to explain in a second um so is is if this is uh with both of your consent now in parenthesis the rebel says that means also your wife Deb is saying make sure that your wife is okay with this I mean if a person said he wanted to start keeping Shabbos or putting on film I I don't think that I would write the same way but again with the beard it's like once you start it's a serious thing and of course it's a good thing and everyone should have a beard and everyone should follow the time the guy I don't even think that's a a secret we have to keep but but if you don't yet keep according to the the rulings of the Tamar sadik then of course there are other legitimate paths to follow so it's a it's a nuanced issue here I hope that's that's clear okay so if you and your wife both consent Messiah and you evaluate a viffel a mench can mashiazine as much as a person can possibly evaluate we're not prophets we don't know everything we can't foresee everything I see a hot dinner that you have the necessary strength emotional strength fortitude oh um sort of gives him a push here so you can talk with your wife and you're gonna see she okay with it and does she also think you have the the sufficient strength and then that basically says and this is a good time because you're probably going to get extra spiritual strength right now and then I mentioned severeigner that right now we're found in the time of Severus the the verse says which literally means you should count for yourselves count the aimer vasocus as is known the altareba explains according to Kabbalah that the double meaning here of the verse doesn't just mean and count for yourself so it means means make yourself luminescent the the word of svartem also is like a cognate with uh sapier like luminescent Stone shine yourself up make yourself uh make yourself shine so sphere is a time when our spiritual energies are shining so whatever basically says if you're strong enough to stick with it and hey this is actually a good time for Spiritual strength okay in them your decision and your actual carrying it out should be in a good auspicious time [Music] zolensville gringer women and the difficulties should be far less than you anticipate I I assume from this that the guy told that he's he's anticipating harassment for this and then I was saying you know what maybe you're gonna get harassed less than you think that you're gonna get harassed oh by the way who's gonna harass him you're gonna find out uh sounds like his family sounds like also probably his parents or her parents I wasn't sure if it was his parents or his in-laws that that's what it seems like if you continue in the latter here we'll find out here um dimension was here their month in Aya breath as a valentos sharp oif Neman even a court even regarding those people that you mentioned in your letter are going to take this in a literally it it's sharply they're going to take it sharply they're going to have a sharp reaction uh how does a circus in English right here they're going to receive this news derisively Okay as in to Zaman hang with I hope that in conjunction with the good news in your family life what's the good news in your family life his wife's expecting they're gonna have a baby so the Reba says I hope that because of the impending good news about the arrival of a of a child foreign also another mitigating uh Factor here that will make things a little softer is the broadcast from the beard itself whatever refers to it as the image of God that the image of God the anthropomorphic image uh so to speak is when a man has a beard that's the salamela Kim so the neba says I think there are a few factors here that could make things a little less um scary than than you're anticipating one is you have this good news coming up and I think they're gonna be so happy about that that they might not they might not harass you as much as you think they might give you a free pass because they're happy about their anacle that's on the way and the other thing is also don't forget the beard itself this salamela Kim this embracing and embodying The Godly image that's going to bring blessings to you that's gonna bring blessings it's gonna also bring success in everything that you need the reacts here so included in all the brothers and success you can have I think also the reaction of those above mentioned people is gonna be a lot less uh intense that I would cause it feels a lot weaker I think it's gonna be more muted like if they might not love it but they're not gonna they're not gonna respond as vociferously as as you're anticipating I think I think it's going to be a little bit more mellow than than you think more than more than what you're imagining to ANZ in them should should give you success to be able to report good news even in this regard meaning I'm hoping I'm going to hear from you that your family really didn't care so much it didn't bother them and nobody gave you a hard time is now you're hearing what the good news is coming up I doubled down my bracho my blessing that Hashem should help that your wife's pregnancy should uh uh that her pregnancy should go by in a proper and easy way and she should give birth to a healthy and viable child at the proper time smoothly and easily so the pregnancy should be easy the delivery should be easy you should all just go smoothly with blessings for good news in all of the above and that is our letter tonight we will see you tomorrow