Cholentface: How I became a Hidden Tzaddik

I was recently recruited to become a Hidden Tzaddik. No really, they were also affected by the internet. A bunch of them were exposed on Wikileaks. It got so bad that Sacha Barron Cohen had to put on a disguise and commit some terrible Aveiros in public. So I was relaxing at home and the doorbell rang. I opened up the door, and there were five Schnorrers. I said, come in! And I went to get change of a dime. When I got back they had tracked mud all over the house they were jumping on my bed in their boots they were blowing their nose on the tablecloth I probably would have been more angry if I wasn't at my mother-in-law's. They said Zvi, we've been tracking you and following you and we want you to join us, we want you to become a Hidden Tzaddik. I said, I'm in but do I have to become a beggar or a cobbler? Can't I be the rich miser living in the edge of town everyone finds out that he's a Hidden Tzaddik after he dies and the economy collapses? Must I be a Nebach case? They said, why do you think we came to you? They tasked me with infiltrating the off the Derech community the people who Freied out I was a deep freier. So I said Tefillas HaOff the Derech and I joined a group of people who were off the Derech who were traveling to Europe to visit Kivrei Reshaim. By the way, you know what you call a group of people who are off the Derech? a Shanda. These guys were shiny Shandas they were new at it I could tell because we went to a club and we danced in a circle. Arms around shoulders with the kick But then they started suspecting that there was a mole because they were getting targeted Kiruv ads. Chabad Rabbis are in your area. Balabusta Rebbetzins have got a girl for you. Rabbi Mizrachi says that you are going to hell. They had their eyes on me I was the newest recruit so we went to a restaurant and I was very nervous. The waiter came over, what can I get you? Can I have a salad but put extra bugs on the lettuce some raw chicken liver and an egg with two bloodspots. Would you like anything to drink with that? Yes, do you have Yayin Nesech? @Frumprov @Cholentface FrumProv.com