CHAZAQ's Torah Talks #69: Rabbi Mordechai Ginsparg - Critical Connections

Tuesday night program with special guests tonight we have with us a very special guest Robin Mordecai Ginsburg how you doing pleasure welcome how's everything very happy to be here okay I pledge all the arrows and Rabbi Ginsburg is the manala bayshackable Queens which we'll hear momentarily about where my wife one of my children box my daughters go and uh our medical customized a little bit of a buy a little background of the great work the rabbi's involved with thank you okay so Baruch Hashem I've just finished my first year at base Jacob of Queens I moved from Chicago where I lived my entire life other than when I learned in air to Sorel but I was there for my entire life till I moved to base to uh Woodmere where I'm living and working of course at bayshaco of queens and Baruch Hashem had a fabulous first year in the wonderful wonderful school in Chicago I've been involved in krino for more than 30 years um as working in as a scan manal in Yeshiva Boys Yeshiva also teaching in base Yakov also worked in elementary school also co-ed so I was involved with high school boys high school girls Elementary boys and girls both in yeshivish base Yakov and in modern Orthodox coed school well I believe the whole game and everything yeah the rabbit has a lot of experience and that's why uh barcus from the Queen's Community is very very lucky to have the rabbis the manal of basic Queens in barakas in the first year was amazing okay great Rabbi so uh the topic for tonight Rabbi is um critical connections and uh you know we just heard about the vast uh experience that the rabbis had in the area of clinical education if you would say one aspect in the Kenneth and educational Jewish world that needs some some strengthening what would you say uh that that would be yeah I I would say I'm very passionate about the idea of building the connection with a REV and specifically I'm referring to from the student's Vantage Point let me explain um certainly this is true for boys but it's more natural in a Yeshiva setting that boys will connect with their robayum and that continues through base matters Etc what I really noticed though is with the girls both in high school and in elementary school base yaakov the girls they aren't always with the mindset of talking to a rub and asking a Shyla to a rock that has good questions and when I for example when I would ask the girls in basiakov in high school in Chicago um what your connection with the rub they'd say well I don't need to ask the question one right now my father asks or one day and it's Hashem my husband will ask and I tried to explain to them that first of all there could be a situation where they're not around they're not available and you're gonna need to make that phone call other times it could also be a personal question that you need to ask you you have to gain a level of comfort calling rabayam and robot him and this was true also in elementary school because obviously if we can build that in elementary school by the time they get to high school it's already been more of a connection so I started a long time ago I did this with boys also but certainly with girls something called ask the Revy ask the rabbi ask the rav where I would for example put on the Blackboard a number of nice questions I wanted to make sure the girls were comfortable that it was a good question so I came up with the questions they could be about Shabbos about whatever the different topics were and I told each girl they have to pick the quest a question and go to their show Rabbi ask the question get the answer and then we're going to discuss it in class and they had to do this and it'll break the ice break the ice and there was no emailing no you had to either go in person or make a phone call because that's the natural way people normally you you see the robin Shoal or you make a phone call no hiding behind technology I think go do that and the girls did it and there were so many amazing lessons they got out of it first of all almost everyone told me it was much easier than they expected the only time it was difficult was sometimes the rub might be difficult to track down maybe he was out of town but in terms of the friendliness of the of the rabbi the Comfort level oh this was so much easier it was I I even received letters later from girls in seminary or after they got married telling me that because of this assignment they they have no problem calling the rub now and they connected with them they connect well it could be also they might move to a different location but irrelevant the point is they now realize that it's not scary or intimidating to get on the phone and call a Rob and this wasn't only for halacha purposes for Jewish law it was also for getting advice to to guide him so I wanted to make sure that even at a young age certainly at elementary and into high school that that ice was broken and they saw how wonderful it is to to call a Rob and and remember I'll tell you another interesting thing was that sometimes if a couple of girls had the same question so the rabam might give slightly different answers which I tried to explain to them is is fine we have Mach Locus we have arguments everything is has their right but it led to a beautiful discussion they could understand the difference between sardim ashkenazim even sometimes to rabam two rabbis within the same sardic or ashkenazic uh situation but it was it was just a beautiful opportunity to talk about the the whole idea of talking to a rabbi and getting that guidance um in base Jacob of Queens I've tried very hard as the menial to be as accessible as I can be to the girls I can attest to them my daughters feel very good thank you a lot of the rabbit greets them when they come that's right it's so important to build that connection I want the girls to feel comfortable with I I am the rabbi of the school and one of the the few rabbis that they'll probably have real interaction with until at least high school so it's it's very important that they feel comfortable and connected and Baruch Hashem the girls would come to my office sometimes on their own sometimes sent by their morrows their teachers with a question about halacha about law or about Parsha about you know the weekly portion and I loved it and and I tried as much as I can just to build that connection and I could see Barak Hashem that the girls felt a comfort level which Emirates Hashem will continue into high school and into the future and again as I mentioned before this is true for boys too we have to make sure they feel connected it's just more natural and easier for them but in in the girls situation it's it's it's so important that they build those connections with Rabe what an Innovative idea this is amazing unbelievable what grades did you start this ass to Rabbi uh yeah so in Chicago I started as young is fifth grade obviously the type of question that I had the high school girls in base Jacob asked was different than I would have a fifth grader ask but a question is a question is just to build that connection but as young as fifth grade and the the feedback and and was tremendous it really was every time I did this assignment the reaction was was excellent I never had any bad reaction result from this it was it was all good this should be it probably start moving the entire world to know about this it's so exciting wow an amazing idea very Innovative very very very very very interesting so Rabbi with what I understand this was done with the children what a role do the parents play in this important uh initiative I guess we'll call it yeah absolutely I mean I I think that when we at school and and it's we always say this but it's 100 True the important partnership that the school has with with the home it's for sure it's so integral so important so when we're teaching at school this idea of asking asking the rub being connected with the rub so certainly the parents are we hope also connected with the show love with with rabbanim with different Jewish organizations and the more that the children see no number one that the parents also consult with arav I mean I often tell my own children mommy and I are gonna are gonna call the rub to ask a certain Shiloh they don't need to know necessarily what the Shyla is right the question they want don't need to know what the question is but just they hear that they hear it are in touch with them we're in touch and they know that they see that because we we they know it's but it's something that I mentioned to them and I want them to know that so first of all they should I mean it's true in and of itself that parents just because it's important that parents have a connection with a rabbi for their own good they should do it but there's an additional critical benefit that the children are seeing that the parents are also involved with rabbanim then what the children are learning at school is is that much more real I I would also mention it's obvious but I think it's worth mentioning that that God forbid the children shouldn't see any type of a negative aspect to this in other words that the children should always be hearing from the parents positive interactions with the rabbi that could even be just a speech or a lot of times rabbis will come up with certain rules and regulations that that are going on in in the world in the community how the parents react to that the children are watching children I think sometimes parents don't even realize something I didn't even realize how much my children are watching and listening to everything we do everything and they pick up on all the subtleties so it's so important that just how parents are reacting to rabbanim in general just things that they're teaching things that the rabbanim are saying how the parents are reacting to that will have an enormous effect on the children also so all of this plays a role in what we're talking here about this critical connection with Rob bunim we at the school have to push that connection create that connection but at home it's reinforced and it's really role modeled and it's it's critical 100 so the Yeshiva the base outgov and the parents are Partners in the children's upbringing absolutely and uh It Works hand in hand it reminds me of a story I don't remember where it was or the details but basically there were two families from the same community and the one family the children all grew up all beautiful Torah and in the whole nine yards well the other family was not and uh they complained they're like why is it that this family is this way and our children are that way and they did some research and they dug into it and they realized that when the father of this family with all the kids are on the right path he would come home after synagogue after show and he would say overall the rabbi said such a beautiful inside such a beautiful device such a beautiful uh you know story and it will give it over that way on the other hand the other family that would come oh my gosh this feature is so long right it was a negative and that's what that's what the it's on that's what they heard and like uh unfortunately when those came from the Holocaust they had a difficult time in America with their jobs and whenever they they had Shabbat they would say I don't know how to say it in Yiddish but it's so hard to be a fair share designed to be a yeah yeah finding myself yeah and uh the kids would hear this and they'll be like you know that's the case if it's so hard what do I need all this for and and God forbid unfortunately many of them uh dropped but right 100 When the Children See positivity like positivity and and how much the the parents are happy to be connected to the Robin and want to listen it makes such an incredible impact on the children incredible very big difference I think that my father says make for yourself a rabbi and remove all death and that's exactly what it is many times there's a difference of opinions whether it's parents and they have a rabbi that's an intermediate intermed the one in the middle that deals it for them so it's very important that every single person takes upon themselves a rabbi and there's a big discussion at the Ginsburg of the topic of technology yeah sure it's a topic that we concept Kazakh are getting uh you know requests and phone calls and emails and and they mentioned what's the right approach how does this tie into our discussion that we're having right now yeah I mean it definitely ties in it ties in very strongly obviously there has been a lot and continues to be a lot of discussion about technology because it evolves that's right it's constantly changing and and it's important to emphasize that there are tremendous benefits to technology it's important that the audience know that rabbanim don't just look at technology as a bad thing there are tremendous positives to technology and tremendous ways to use technology however we all know that there are some very big challenges so the rabbanim with their wisdom and see it Ishmael are doing their best in this always evolving situation to give us guidance and we have to trust in that guidance and this is exactly what we were just talking about if the children see that the parents number one follow the guidance so for example just to pick a simple example it's been talked about and it's talked about in the secular world too it's not just by Rabbani secular people will say the same thing with dinner time for example put away the phone the time when you're talking with your children put away the phone so the children feel important and there's real dialogue and discussion with parents which is what the children need and want so if if parents don't listen to that not only is it harmful in and of itself because they're not connecting with their children but what then do the children think when they see everybody knows that the robot him have said this and I'm sure they even know that the secular world has said this and like you're supposed to be doing this and the parents aren't putting it away so it just tears everything down so it is it's critical that the that the parents understand that in and of itself the importance of listening to the guidance we're receiving so that their use of Technology will be positive for themselves and their family but it has this other aspect an incredibly important ramification of this is what we're talking about this critical connection with the rub with the rabbanim with the rabbis it will be harmed if God forbid we're not following the guidance that the rabbis are giving us very important very very very important this is something that we've seen many many times serious issues come out of this whole issue with technology where did the role of a reputation is it in your program of ask to Rabbi would it be okay for the fifth grader that that was in big tackle to go over to Rapid synthetic question it was specifically to the rally so I did it more with the rabbi because it there are wonderful rabbit sins and moros who are in the schools and and and even after schools after people are married obviously to consult with the ladies that's that's beautiful there is a time though where they do need to speak directly to the Rob right whatever the situation might be in fact many times the rabbit sins themselves might say this is something to ask the rub directly but of course the revitsons play a very important role the moro's play an incredibly important role they all play an important role but they're ultimately there's going to be situations where the the rabbi does need to talk directly to the the whether it's a boy or certainly in what we're discussing the girl the lady and we want to make sure that connection is is built if the first time a person is told this is when by the rabbits in with already married they've never entered acted with a rub there's probably going to be some hesitation and intimidation unfortunately whatever if we've laid that groundwork before it's not something to worry about and in addition to that when we talk about what we were just discussing when we talk about the guidelines that are given to the to the entire congregation to the entire Jewish people those are always coming from rabbanim so we want to get across that idea of listening to a rub Etc 100 and it should be known that many times people feel oh you know the local Rabbi like I'm saying he's younger or he's not in the nowhere he's not you know the the greatest it should be known that the rabbit has many times consult with with big big rabbits of the generation that give them the guidance of certain questions and many times the rabbis on a personal level my relationship would be my room babe many times they wouldn't give me the answer right away now let me think it over let me discuss it over with this and this Rabbi who knows this area much better it's something that people should understand and know absolutely let me just add I should have mentioned this before when I was talking about the ask the rabbi assignment I always made a note of it of pointing out to my students that when I have questions I call my love and I and I wanted them to understand that even though Rabbi Ginsburg who's already like a rabbit a rabbi and and now I'm even a little bit older than I was when I first started teaching 30 years ago but even now I want my palmitos like in the base Yahoo of Queens to know of course I went to Rebecca and Kanye's at Sal for a question or of course I call my rabbanim in Chicago or now in Queens or in the five towns I'm I'm making those phone calls I want the girls to know that they need to know that the connection to a rabbi is always no matter how old you are and that rabam consult it's such an American an incredibly important lesson people should know that people think oh he's just you know saying hey no absolutely it was many times and and Rabbi mayor of you should know that impression was made on me because my one of my rabam would always tell me how he consulted with his roshishiva so it goes Chain by Chain that's right but that's how Claudia straw works we have it's essential we have an insect an essential connection with our previous generations that's what we believe in we we look to our older and more experienced rub bunny to guide us and that's that lesson that we're trying to get across to a generation where we know unfortunately that's not always the case it's very much taught almost like not so much to listen to the other generation in fact it's interesting technology having nothing to do with like the technology itself but the concept very often the kids know better than the adults so I'm saying like without talking about the good and bad of a cell phone whatever but the idea is the kids see that we know better than the adults and in some way perhaps that leads to somewhat of a little bit lack of respect like they don't know how to do any of this stuff but we in the client Israel in the Jewish people we know we're dealing with something far more holy and important and for us the missora the tradition handed down from Rabbi to student Rabbi to student is so critical that the next generation of students the ones that I'm involved with right now need to know that they need to be connected with with me and their moros who were connected to they're they're moros and they're rabam Etc and that that gets that lesson across powerful Rabbi Ginsburg such Inspirations are so important for everyone listening to take this to heart to to to make sure to implement this concept with the children of your family yeah but we have a minute another custom by Torah talks to end off with one final message for a broader audience what would that be really good I would I would say that what we talked about obviously this evening is so important and we called it critical connections I would say that the most most critical connection is the connection with Hashem with Hashem and and when I talk about a connection with Hashem I'm talking specifically at this moment about Phila about davening we can we can talk together and discuss but in the end you have to have CIA Heavenly assistance and we have to dive in to Hashem to help us with growing in our own lives and and of positively affecting our children we all know that none of this is easy there's challenges and difficulties and it's hard but there's it's hard because there's an incredible gold medal so to speak which is being how lucky we are to be from Jews connected to Hashem so we know that all of our efforts and and the challenges is for something incredible and really brings simcha happiness to Our Lives real happiness I tell us to my students all the time real happiness and simcha is by being a from Jew and listening to Hashem and accomplishing in life and and doing being connected with Hashem but in terms of specifically our discussion tonight we need to dive into Hashem to raise our children properly to it's just so important so that's maybe the most critical Connection in order to make this critical connection with the rabbi also possible is that we ask Hashem help us to to make the right decisions to be connected with Hashem to be connected with rabbanim and that we should be good role models and make the right decision so we can give that over that teaching over to our children so that the next generation will continue in a in this holy Claudia Israel that we are amazing what inspiration what an amazing Torah talk we just have thank you for having me the pleasure all ours the AG de Tori either the rabbit is doing an amazing job uh teaching car and giving it over to the next generation and we should all take it to heart like was mentioned to make yourself a rabbi to go ask the questions the the the the the the the even the advice to go over to the rabbanim they're there for us they're always ready and the mentorship we should be emergency thank yous of course everyone at kazak rabi in uh in B and Izzy and the whole team over here for all the back work uh that they've been doing and do on a consistent basis thank you very much to uh dailygiving.org a dollar day goes very very far away we encourage them to check it out tour anytime for hosting this podcast along with all the podcast platforms uh where you can listen to these Torah talks and remind every single Tuesday night Torah talks with special guests to 8 30 p.m eating student Standard Time khazak.org live in target.com thank you very much Robert Ginsburg once again pleasure thank you