CHAZAQ’s Torah Talks #22: Rabbi Yossi Bensoussan - Living with the Eye of Your Creator

Another Tuesday's timely Torah Talks. Tonight, we have a very special guest all the way from Cleveland. We have Rabbi Yossi Bendavid. Welcome to the show, Rabbi. How are you doing? Cleveland, Ohio to Queens. Yeah. Okay. It's It's not only a drive, it's a mental shift. It's a whole different Rabbi Meir Oh, I'm so happy to see you in person. I'M SO HAPPY to see you in person. long, Rabbi. This is Anyone who ever has the chance to come see Rabbi Meir Oh in person, you have to come through. You have to come through. It just gives you simcha the second you see it. And Rabbi, so you're here on your second tour with Chazak speaking of various different communities. And the topic you chose for this tour is living with the eye of your creator. Why do you choose this topic for this tour, Rabbi? So, second tour, by the way. Second tour, not like second speech, though. I'm saying I My My brother's also I I Well, my brother Ari, I don't know for sure. We all started basically one I think one of the first speeches I ever gave in the States was Chazak was a Chazak event in Arnao. No, not Arnao. In In Beit Gavriel, right? That's right. And it was Yeah, it's I I still have to tell Taran at times to take down that one. I don't I've no idea what was going on with that guy's stylist. But, my point is, I can't say it. So, yeah. So, the second the second tour and the reason we're even doing a second tour is that I found that that a tour works a lot better, you know, a series works a lot better. People, you know, I'm still having people reaching out to me from the last one that we did tell me, you know, I'm using this these two steps that you said, the two steps to happiness. They're I'm like, the two steps to what? Got to go back over here and find out what I was talking about. And then I go back and I'm like, "Wow, that's right." You know, but they're still gaining from it. They're still growing from it. And that's Chazak's real, you know, thing is is to affect that change. So, we chose the topic this time. Last time, I believe it was inner power. This time, it might sound similar, but we we came up with this topic. It was in the back of my head for a while. And I was on the phone with Robbie from over here from Chazak. And Robbie just sent me this title and he goes, "What do you think about this?" We didn't even discuss what I was going to speak about yet. And he's like, "What do you think about this?" And it was mamaish min shamayim because it was exactly the title and the point of the whole thing. It was living with the eye of with with the eye of the creator, of your creator. And the reason that is is that I remember the first time I sent my kid to Yeshiva, to school, um he went in and I'm I was afraid. I was like, "Are they going to treat him right? Are they going to teach him? Are they going to, you know?" And that's when I came up with also the idea of I don't rely on schools for anything anymore. I just You just don't do anything bad and, you know, just send them back in one piece. That's it. I'll take care of everything. Send them back in one piece. So, but but then I was thinking to myself, I'm like, you know, you know, I I and I remember leaving and I said to my mom, Shalom. I said I said a prayer and just came out. I didn't even I said, "I'm Shalom, please allow them to see in him what I see in him. Allow them to appreciate him the way I appreciate him." And I was thinking to myself then. I was like, "How beautiful would that be if Hashem would just allow us his glasses for a minute? Just allow us his eyes for 1 minute. We looked around. We wouldn't see I see in in Gan Eden was not one of the points that we go through. You know, he was however much physical we are, he was spiritual. So, he was 90% I'm I'm making up numbers. He was like, let's say 90% spiritual and if you squinted through his neshama and his spiritual kedusha, his light and his beauty, you can see a little there was a physical being in there somewhere. There was a That's how Hashem sees us. And and and if we were able to look and view not only the So, I started off viewing other people through the eyes of Hashem, viewing the world through the eyes of Hashem. There's no shortage of You just see opportunity everywhere. That's all you see. When you look at the world through the eyes of the Ribono shel Olam, all you see is opportunity. So, I said and then I realized that like it has to start somewhere. So it's the eyes of your creator because and that's the one thing that I did switch from is original title. Eyes of your creator, why? I want you cuz nowadays we're going to go to this and I'm sure at some point to this, but nowadays Aaron Nachman says that when someone does on a fish now, the of a fish or the of a fish is not to write down what you did wrong that day and to try to fix it the next day. Write down what you did right. He said no one needs any more help feeling bad about themselves. Everybody's doing a good enough job beating them. We used to talk when we were kids, we used to talk about a guy for like the big shot. The guy would want to show off. The guy would walk around thinking he's everything. I don't know, I knew that this guy existed when I was a little kid. Now as an adult, I don't know who this guy is. I don't see him anywhere. Anywhere. There's no one walk around me like I know everything. Everyone's walking around I'm a nobody. I'm a nothing. I'm a We still have the idea that no, I know someone that's like that and we think for a second like, no, actually. I'm trying to sit through all the people who feel like garbage all day and find that guy, you know? So so we need to to reconnect with the idea that Hashem is looking at us and and and the way he sees us is how we should see ourselves. So that's the broader point. Wow, unbelievable Rabbi Dovid Shushan. There's so many important topics to tackle. Why are you so passionate about this topic theme like all the things going on in the world, there's Shalom Bayit, there is children of the there's like a million and one It's so funny that you choose those topics as examples. I used to say I was such a I I've I openly admit and one of the main points of this series but of of something I'm coming to in my old age of all my white hair is that Rabbi, you're killing it by the way. You're doing great. to hide it. You're trying to hide it? You're doing great. And I don't have half the stress you have. I don't know I don't know what this is about. It's a full head of and then also, okay, yeah. Cuz we distinguish. So so one of the things that you know in my young age I used to think that I choose. I I choose. There's a prophet there's this you a rabbi and and and you know you always hear especially as you're becoming a rabbi and you're going through college and go through training going through all this. You always hear this is the or you hear through in the medical field you hear a lot about this, right? This is the doctor who specializes in this specific vein of the body, you know. This is the right toe pinky toe. This guy IS THE BEST RIGHT TOE pinky toe guy in the world in the world world world. This guy is the best. So you're always trying to find your niche. You're always trying to find your thing. So as a young silly person and you start to lose focus then. You start to you start to forget that the one running the world and he's going to send you who you need to and it's a more about the people and accepting them as opposed to focusing on the problem so much. And I realized this and shooting myself in the foot that I was so hyper you know I used to do addictions and I still do. You know I don't say I do addiction. I do this. I do teenagers. I do it's you I do what the sends me and and I realized that everything applies the same way. So but when I was younger and dumber I not that I'm so old and wise now but when I was younger and dumber I um I I used to think that I choose what I work with and there's certain things I say I don't I don't work with. And one of them was going to be shidduchim. The other one was going to be like shalom bayit or divorce. Like these are two things I don't and then finally it came to an apex. When I say younger and dumber I mean like a year ago. I said in a speech I was like that's why I don't do or it was an article. I said that's why I don't do shidduchim or divorce. I think since that the one was like I'm sorry. What? What did you You don't what? Really? I didn't realize I gave over the reins. I'm sorry. I didn't realize you took over here. You're doing a bang-up job. The amount of phone calls I started getting out of the blue of shidduchim, of of divorce, of shidduchim of divorce. To the point that like it seems like some days that's all I'm working with that day. And so I never like to say that there's something I don't work on. But of all the topics, you're right. Of all the topics, I started realizing that for me topics are are a big problem. When we deal with too specific of a topic, when we deal with too specific of a thing, we're hyper-focusing on the specific issue that people are going through at that moment. We're hyper-focusing on But the answers to all these issues always end up being the same. And no matter how many people I've seen, no matter how many people I've worked with, no matter how many no matter how many no matter how many, it always came back to the same place. When you have a kid and a parent that are in a fight with each other, that aren't getting along, and the parents want to throw the kid out, and you honestly speak to that parent, you're going to find the parent saying this is all my fault. This is all me. You're going to find the kid saying it's all me. The mother says it's all me. And then you could you could break this down as many times as you want. The mother will be like it's all me. The father will be like oh it's all me. I've had grandparents blaming themselves. If I would have done it this way with my son then him and his son would have that that that that this whole We all at the end of the day know that we are and have a great responsibility. We just need to understand why that's beautiful and how to use it. When people feel built up, when people feel in control of what they're doing, and there's no real concept of control, when people feel confident in what they're doing, when people have you know, that that reliance on themselves to do what they need to do, all these other things end up you could take shidduchim for example, right? How can we apply something like this to shidduchim? It's very, very simple. I was speaking somewhere and these girls these girls were saying I need to get married. I need to get married. I need to get married. I was like do you do realize getting married the only thing being married solves is not being single. That's the only That's the only problem you solved in your whole life right now. The only thing you did by getting married was that now you're no longer single. That's the whole thing. You don't need to get married. You need to be ready to be married. You need to be the person that wants to connect to another person so deeply and so efficient. So, and there and and when you do that, your list also starts to fluctuate a little bit. I need a guy who's this. I need a girl who's this. And then your list starts to fluctuate. No, no, no. I need a person who me who her and I are going to go You know how many people I know after their marriage, they became so much more religious. They became so much Their the whole life trajectory changed. Right? Why? Because them and their wife or their or or them and their husband were so connected in a certain way of growth, it didn't matter where we go. It doesn't matter what happens next. Now Now, what if I would have married the one that on paper everything was perfect, everything was So, how do I get to that place? By seeing myself in the right light, by seeing myself for who I really am. Then when I connect to another person and I want to get married, it's a very different thing. I'm also okay now being single. I'm okay now being single because I I'm still great. My My My My value in this world is not going to be based on whether or not I get married or don't get married. Um the Ribono shel Olam still created me and he created me as a single person this morning again for a reason. It because So, if I see that through his eyes, I feel amazing. I'm also I'm NOT WORRIED. WHAT AM I WORRIED ABOUT? THIS IS STILL MY JOB. I'm still doing this part of my job. Unbelievable, Rabbi. Very very very inspiring message. Unbelievable. Hopefully. So, so Rabbi, you wear many hats. Right now you're not wearing one, but all kidding aside, in your work as the Mashgiach of Yeshiva High School of Cleveland in the area of substance abuse, how does tonight's theme affect your work as a Mashgiach Right. the Yeshiva? So, so yeah, so I try not to uh compartmentalize too much. Right. So, I said that before. No, but uh but no, but it's it's it's a very good question. So, because I feel it really specifically if you're going to deal with teenagers, so in a high school setting specifically, you know, everyone always as adults we talk about high school, right? We always like, "Oh, it's my friend from high school." Is this a pure high school or No, no, no. No, no, it's a mainstream high school. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, I have I So, when we say many hats, it's really many hats. And and I sometimes I feel bad for my my students. Because they'll be somewhere and they'll be like, "Oh, so what what Yeshiva did you go to?" They're like, "Yeshiva High School of Cleveland." They're like, "Oh, is that Rabbi Ben Chushan's?" Like Like, "No, it's Rabbi Kook's Yeshiva, actually. Rabbi Ben Chushan is the Mashgiach, yes." And they're like, "Oh." He's like, "No! There's no oh! I'm a regular guy! I It's a regular school. It's a high It's a It's the greatest high school in my opinion. I love it. I love my boys." But they're like, "It's a regular We're not a mainstream high school, that's true, but none of that other stuff is going on over there. It's all good boys from good places doing great things. And these poor guys all the time have to be like Like, they'll meet someone in a restaurant and they'll be like, "Yeah, I guess you're like, oh, very nice." And they're like, "Wait a second. I don't do drugs. I just feel like I should I should clarify here. I'm a totally regular guy. I I love my Rebbe, but at the end of the day he gives me a really bad name. So, it's you know, I always tell my students like, "Never put me on a shidduch resume." And it's like He's like, "Everyone just be like, all right, next." I don't know why that guy's on here. I tell my my nephews, I'm like, "Don't put me on your My cousins, I'm like, don't ever mention that you even know me. People are just going to So, at the end of the day, you know, um you'll you'll see this And and I really feel the so many hats is really accurate in in this way also, that this applies I I want to tell you how I got this information or these these topics to or or these rules that I use or that it's me. I'm the guy. The guy that I make fun of, sometimes I'm vulnerable enough and brave enough to admit that it's me in this speech that I'm I'm I'm I'm talking I'm saying a story about myself. Sometimes it's just too embarrassing. It's like it's it's about some guy, you know, yelling at his wife about something that she never did wrong and I can't tell everyone that was by the way, I know this story firsthand because that little girl was me. That's not I can't do you know, I can't but at the end of the day this is yeah, this is this is a very That's exactly it. This is a very been there, done that situation where I suffered like so many people but I suffered for so long with feelings of inadequacy, with feelings of of I'm not doing enough, with feelings of I don't know my purpose, with feelings of all these things until I started realizing these things of stop, wait, rewind. You know, how does Hashem see you? You missed the shacharis you you you you did this, you did that. How does Hashem see you right now? How does Hashem see you? My father is one of the one of the holiest people that I know. So, he's he's a tzaddik in my in my mind, right? It's not you know, when we stand up for my father when he walks in and when we it's not out of respect. There is a certain awe to it. We're really I I I could speak for myself. I'm very in awe of him. That doesn't mean he's perfect. That doesn't mean that he raises perfect. That doesn't mean any of those things. He had four or five sons and a But but but that's the point. The point is is that he's real. He didn't have to be perfect cuz he was real cuz there's no such thing as perfection. He's real, right? He's real. And and you know, I remember you know, times that as a teenager or whatever it is that I would you know, sleep in or that I would miss a the or that I would he was never judgmental of me about it at all. He might ask "Daven shacharis, it's getting late. Like what do you call it? Like I know he just came back from minyan." But to hear and I know him within himself, he's always learning, he's always davening, he's always like that's all he does. Like that's his and and I know now as an adult and as a father it must have killed him that I wasn't going. But but his eyes to me was it's okay. It's okay. He's he's Yossi, it's fine. It's fine. He's amazing. And I always felt that from him. He's amazing. If we can look at the people in our lives and ourselves in that light, there's nothing we can't accomplish. So when you're in you know like I was saying we always go back to high school, you know. This is my friend from high school. This is my How much of who we are right now, belief systems and things that we have are from high school, are from But as an adult you take it into account, you're like it was four years. I can't tell you what happened four years ago in my adult life. Like I don't know how old I am right now. Like I stopped counting at a certain point to even tell you like now I think I'm 37 or something like that. When I was 33, I don't know. I I have no idea what year it was when I was 33. I don't know. But one year of high school, it's not one year of high school, it's 10th grade. It's a whole level up. It's a whole the amount of importance and weight that's put over there is such an opportune time people miss this opportunity so badly and I feel so bad when they do. It's such a weightful time where these boys specifically but girls certainly have their minds and eyes open. They want to be adults. They want to be adults. So they're just looking around saying what does a what do adult what their brains are fully functioning now. They're or starting to fully function. They're starting to solidify. What is going What is an adult? They're taking in so much information. They're taking it to It's not a It's not It's not a joke. The reason why those four years are so important is cuz you're right. Those four years developmentally of the brain is so much more important than the past four years of my life developmentally of my brain. The solidifying of who they are, their personality, their character, their everything is happening during that time. We have to feed them properly. We have to give them the proper things. And what are we giving them? Strife and fighting. There are 40-year-olds that are still fighting with their parents the same fight about the same boyfriend and girlfriend from when they were in high school. YOU'VE ALWAYS DONE THIS. YOU ALWAYS SQUASH ME. LIKE YOU'RE 40. HOW ARE YOU STILL DOING THIS? AND THE PARENT SAYS, "IT'S NOT THEIR FAULT." THEIR BRAIN solidified with like wet cement with that mark in it. That mommy, daddy, this rabbi that does this to me. How do you have a 40-year-old guy who says, "When I was in ninth grade, my rabbi said to me I'm a nobody." Like now as an adult, you know that that rabbi was not mentally well, that he was off his dinner. You know all that now. So what are you still holding on to it for? I'm like, "I can't let it go. I can't let it go." So when we're dealing specifically with teenagers, this idea of realize that no matter what you see around you, no matter what, there's a creator. He creates you every single day. Look at yourself through his eyes because the bonus alum says that we have the potential to not the potential to be him, but but but our job is to be as similar to him as possible. Why not start with his eyes? If you want to know who someone someone is, you stand in their place and you see through their eyes. So let's stand in the Hashem's place, which is impossible, but seeing through his eyes we might be able to do. Rabbi, how do you connect the rabbi to the area of substance abuse? So substance abuse more than more than even even that. So I'm not going to bore you with all the substance abuse details or the mental health parts over here, but but Um, one of the main one of the only, you know, there's a I'm not a therapist. I'm a I'm what's called a CASAC, right? Again, I'm not going to bore you bore you with details, but a certified alcohol and substance abuse counselor. And the reason that they allow some random guy who's not a therapist to work in addictions is because I mean, I'm going to get killed for this, but it's because no one else wants to. It's not like they have a special guy for anxiety also. No, no, you're a therapist who specializes in anxiety. So, now really if I were complete disclosure and, you know, honesty here, really most people who have a CASAC are already a therapist. I just skipped that stage. But the point is I was already doing it, so I skipped that. But the point is is that is that it's it's so nuanced and it's and the relapse rate of in addictions is through the roof. It's it's numbers you the numbers are I've never seen an honest number yet. So, like every number has been disproven. It's But it's let's say between like 60 to 80% relapse, right? Which 60 is a very low number and 80 I don't know if that's high enough. So, like it's it's a crazy relapse rate. The only thing that they have found that consistently works that consistently works to keep addicts clean and we're all addicts to a certain degree. We're all whatever Yeah, whatever we're working on. Just some some addictions are life-threatening and can ruin families and people around us. Others we keep to ourselves in, you know, in the dark, you know, but one of the main things they have found to work with us is something called the 12 steps. Now, I'm not going to say if I'm a 12 stepper or not at all. Like if I'm, you know, as you know, gung-ho about 12 steps as everyone else is or as certain other people are. There's there's different schools of thought and and what works for one doesn't necessarily work for the other and there's different schools of thought. I saw a beautiful sign once that the elevator is out of order, please use the top step. Everyone just wants to get Very good. Very good. That's a very That's very deep. The elevator is out of order, please use the top steps. That's very good. I like that. Is it Rabbi Twerski that was behind Yeah, yeah, so Rabbi Twerski well, I I he didn't invent the Bill W back in the day in the '50s, but he was very, very big in the 12 steps. Not only was Rabbi Twerski very big in the 12 steps, and a master at uh addiction, substance abuse, and uh mental health obviously in general. Um but he he he actually brought the 12 steps to the general Jewish population um in so many huge ways, but also not only to people that are openly suffering from addiction or need to be in programs, need to but to the average uh Yid who who just can use 12 steps to and he brought and explained to Rabbi Shais Taub was also a very big one. Um also obviously in different place, different levels of things, but Rabbi Shais Taub was also he wrote a an amazing book called uh um um the He's going to come to me but I'm not remembering it now. I read it like The God of Our Understanding. Thank you. God of Our Understanding. Um it's it's uh there's a lot of depth and a lot of Yiddishkeit behind there. But when you when you peel away the layers and you go through like something like 12 steps, you go through something like what works for them, it's being able to properly see who I am. It's being able to properly see who I am. Being able to do away with these demons, let them go. First of all, know that I'm not in control of anything. The Serenity Prayer. All right, which all addicts say. A little fun fact, I don't know if it's true, but they say this in Israel, they say this that the first the Serenity Prayer starts off God, right? The first place Now, they use higher power or universe or whatever. Um the first place they say to have taken God out of the Serenity Prayer and replaced it with what it called was a meeting in Tel Aviv, Israel. That's what they say. I don't I don't Jews are Jews, right? I This is what they say. I don't I don't hold me to that. I don't know if it's true. The point is is that we they say God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the strength to accept the things that I can't change. I think I just messed it up. And the wisdom to know the difference. I'm I'm I'm running on like 2 hours sleep over here. God grant me serenity. Yeah. And and and so even in there, right? What do we do? We're giving up. We give up the the control over things. And we say the Ribono shel Olam is running it. The first step Yeah, I just wanted to make I Now I don't even remember how I just said it. If you get the serenity prayer wrong and you're in a diction, so you're you're really not doing your job. I haven't said it in so long because I haven't been specific on addictions in so long. But um we first center God, this higher power, whatever you want to call it to say that I'm giving up control to him. Why? Because he's the one that sees and knows and has. And then as you go through 12 steps, you start to see step seven you start to see all these different concepts and all these different ideas of all figuring out me, seeing me in a new light, rebuilding what I am. Acceptance is first and then it goes on and then it goes on and then it goes on. It's so beautiful. So this broken down obviously, but this is one of the greatest things because one of the reasons that so many of these people are are in um trouble with substances especially if we're talking about kids, is that they're looking for something. They're trying I I remember I heard an addict say, you know, in this thing, you know, he he said it was a famous thing I never heard it before him, but he said that the the one of the one of the worst things he's ever heard is that someone told him that you know, you you use drugs in order to feel. You use drugs because you want to feel something. And he said it's so not true. He's like I use drugs to stop feeling. He said all I do all day is feel." He said, "You want to know what an addict really is? An addict is someone that feels the world so deeply, he can't stop feeling it. He can't control these feelings that he's feeling. He can't control the depth of these feelings." And it's And if you ever met, you know, someone who's really suffering, you know, you know it's so true. You see that look in their eyes that they're they're much victims of everything around them them feeling everyone and everything around them. So, when when when that happens, they start to define themselves. They start to shame, you know, the amount of of addicts that come from an abusive background, a sexual abuse or otherwise, right? What happens over there? The abuse is bad, but but it can be helped if opened up and spoken about immediately, it can be helped and it can And not only can it be helped, they have very high success rates of help. Not only they have high success rates of help, they also those people tend to be very resilient, strong people afterwards. What happens, the real issue in my in my mind, in my experience, the real issue starts when they don't open up. The shame starts to build. And when you start to build shame, when you start to build this ugliness of shame, they start to define themselves by it. They start to And if you only knew how ugly I am and how And they start to So, yeah, you want to stop feeling that way for a few minutes and you want to feel something different then. That's why I agree with that what that guy said a little bit, that you want to start feeling And And so, they they got to When they start to see themselves now through the eyes of their creator, through the eyes of That's why all these different types of all these different people I work through all end up connecting on the same thing, that if it starts with me, my light starts to shine out. Unbelievable. Rabbi Ben Shushan, so inspiring. Unbelievable. Loving it. Loving every second of it. Thank you. Rabbi, this is called Tuesday's Timely Torah Talks. Can you leave us with one final timely message for our broad audience? Some one final punch, one final grand slam. You know, um it it's hard to it's hard to concentrate, not going to lie. We're sitting in a Hazak office right now. And although I'm talking a big game over here, it's it's it's very difficult not to feel like a nobody a little bit. It really really is. The you guys got an operation running over here. So, the the the point I would leave with is that really where where our topic is going to end with, which is that it starts with you. Starts with you. But I one time heard someone say that they they became a singer, a musician, and they said, "I just I just felt that I had music in me because her whole family was in music. I felt that I had music in me, and I didn't want to die with my music inside of me." I thought that was such a tremendous such a tremendous line. Such a tremendous line. I don't want to die with my music inside of me. You know, we we mentioned so many people over here that you know, R' Meyerson, R' Schachter, you know, someone like R' Schachter, R' Berkowitz, my rebbe, uh We're What would have happened if they just took it off? They're just like, "I'm a nobody." Right? By the way, not that they not that they instead of becoming these big things just you know, became nobody. No, no. But they said, "Listen, I just I'm going to keep my my own business. I'm going to stay in the corner. I'm going to mind my own business. I'm going to you know, I I'm not going to So, someone tell you all the time, "I'm I'm sure you What do you care about these public school kids? What do you call it? Mind your own business. Mind your own business. They want to go to public school, leave them alone. Mind your own business." Right? I don't want to die with my music inside of me. I don't want to die, you know, in in years from now being able to go up to to you know, not me. I'm saying someone go up to their creator. And and what And what happens? I'm saying what's the scariest thing? My R' Berkowitz always says, "What what really happens in in Shamayim? How do we understand the pain of an ashama? Right, it's not physical pain. What happens?" Rebbe Nachman says it's busha. Shame. We feel a tremendous amount of shame. Why do we feel shame? Because we see. We finally see ourselves at the end of the day through Hashem's eyes. We see what we could have done. But we couldn't We see the music that was inside of us that we let die. Why? I was too afraid. I was too this. I was too that. Whatever the reasons were. But at the end of the day, I'm not. Right? You ever had a person start a diet? And they crash on the diet. A year later, they're like, "I remember I started that diet last year last summer. If I would have kept going, I would be uh what do you call that?" Well, so we forget all those very important reasons that we didn't keep going. We forget everything in the middle. Why? Cuz it doesn't matter. It didn't matter then, and it doesn't matter now. I just wanted I just I just didn't have the strength to keep going. We can't die with our music inside of us. And and the real problem is not that we're going to die with the music inside of us. That's the result, and that stinks for the rest of humanity. Ashamed. The real problem is is that we don't believe there's music in there. We're too afraid to open it up. We're too afraid to look inside. We're too afraid What what What's everyone so afraid about sending their kids to a beautiful, amazing yeshiva? So, there's money. There's no question about that. There's no question. But so many of them are like, "Well, I want him to You know, when I was when I was when I was in Israel, so many parents would say to me, 'I don't want him to go into Israel for the year.'" I'm like, "Why?" Like, "I want him to become a doctor." I'm like, "You're you're an adult. You know what a year is? What's it I don't remember the past year. What's a year? It's nothing. And if I'm going to tell you that this year is going to make him a better father, better husband, more resilient, more confident, more resourceful, but how is that not a something for you to Like, 'Yeah, but I I really want him to to What what are they afraid of?' They're afraid that that you're going to take away from him the one thing I'm giving him to to set him up for life. Why? Cuz if I don't give it him to set him up for life, he's not going to have anything. That's not true. That's not true. You brought this child into the world. The Ribono shel Olam is the one who allowed that to happen. The Ribono shel Olam is the one who pushed that neshama through. Someone one of the guys last night I end with this. One of the guys last night The other night, yeah. One of the supporters, one of the dedicators of the of the speech last night that we gave for chazak in Roslyn. The other night, yeah. What? The other night, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The other night. Yeah, the other night. No, yeah, the other night. One of the speeches we gave over the course of this whole thing. I told you I've been traveling. I got my head is not one of the speeches that we gave over the course of this whole thing. This guy comes over to me afterwards. He was one of the supporters of the whole thing. One of the sponsors. Comes over to me and he said, "The minute you were born was the minute Hashem decided this world cannot keep going without you." I thought that was beautiful. I was blown away by it. I never heard it before. I told like three people. They're like, "Yeah, I've heard that before." I'm like, "I've never heard that How in the world am I in this job and walking around AND I NEVER HEARD THAT BEFORE?" And and I learned two things then. Number one, there's a line floating around that so many people know and were inspired by 8 years ago that I never heard of. What does that mean? How much more is there that's hidden? BECAUSE THAT'S AN THAT'S ALREADY a revealed one that I've never HEARD OF. HOW MUCH IS BEHIND THE SCENES THAT I DON'T KNOW THAT CAN INSPIRE me so much? And number two, that's what it really is. When we view our children, when we view our co-workers, when we view our The Ribono shel Olam right there in the Mishnah says there's no one was put into this world without a reason. The Hashem didn't mess up on me. He definitely didn't mess up on my neighbor. There's a reason we're here. It's not because the music isn't there. It is. It is. It's there. Don't die with your music inside of you. That is a powerful message, Rabbi Ben Uh what an amazing program we had today. Rabbi Ben Shushan, you're a mover and a shaker. We really appreciate your time. We really appreciate the message. A very powerful message. Everybody should take it to heart. We should wish you we should merit to see the coming of the We'll all go back to Israel with Messiah. Do you be spending our days in America?