CHAZAQ’s Torah Talks #17: Mr. Charlie Harary - Unlocking Greatness

Welcome, welcome, welcome everyone to yet another amazing episode of Tuesday's Tommy Torah Talks. Tonight we have the honor of having with us a very dear friend, Charlie Harary, a man that needs no introduction. He's been to the Khazak organization many, many times at all of our big events, I believe, if I'm not mistaken. And he's inspired uh tens of thousands of people. He's a man that's filled with greatness, and we're going to be talking about that topic. Charlie, how are you doing, my dear brother? I'm wonderful. Thank you so much for having me on the show. It's always an honor to be with you. Ah, God bless. Okay, so we're going to be talking tonight about unlocking greatness. I know you have a book on the topic. You've spoken for us on this topic many times, and we're going to jump straight into it. So many people have their own definitions of greatness. Maybe you could define what greatness is all about, my dear brother. The greatest definition that I've seen in greatness took place not in an English book. It's in um the safer of Michtav M'Eliyahu. The Desler speaks about ah, good stuff. The Desler speaks about this concept of um the way I always remember it. It's Nekudas Habechira. And the way I always remembered it was um a football field. He doesn't say that, but that's how I see the you know, it processes in my head, right? Um when when if you look at life like a football field, right? Depending on where you are on the field, it it doesn't really matter cuz it's the same thing that happens, right? There is the offensive line and the defensive line, and the offense wants to go forward, and defense wants to stop them. So if you ask somebody like, "What part of the field is greatness?" The answer would be like, "Well, it depends where everybody is." So if you're on the 20, that's where the greatness happens. And if you're on the other 20, well, that's where the greatness happens. And so one of the great mistakes we make in life is that we think that greatness is objective. The guy there is great. That woman's great. And in some cases, there's a truth to that, right? You look at a tzaddik. You look at a major, you know, a mashpia. You look at someone out there who's lived their life for Klal Yisrael, and yeah, they've achieved greatness, but it's not our greatness. And that's the mistake. You can enjoy their greatness. Moshe Rabbeinu achieved his level of greatness. That's Moshe's greatness. And we can take it and learn from it and be inspired by it, etc., etc. But as you know the famous story of Reb Zusha, Reb Zusha is not going to get worried about going to the Shamayim and say, "How can we learn from Moshe?" He's going to say, "How can we learn from Zusha?" So, really greatness is the the challenges that are before you at this second. And the way we deal with what is in front of us every moment of our life is where greatness happens, and when you aggregate all these moments, you then have something that other people or you can actually recognize, which is greatness. I feel the greatness. I feel the energy. I love it. I love it. So, some might feel that in order to achieve greatness, they need to come from a certain family, a certain background. Uh you know, where is the root of greatness? Where where is it found? So, first of all, that's out. Like I I I write a Listen, yichus is massive, right? If you have yichus, if you're zocheh to have parents, grandparents, great-grandparents that are tzaddikim, that have done things for Klal Yisrael, you know, just like you know, kiss up to Hashem Yishtabach Shmo, you have someone in Shamayim or in this in this world that's helping you. Like that's an amazing gift that you have. But it doesn't seem like from our history, look, that's that's the the critical factor for your own greatness. You know what I'm saying? Like when Moshe Rabbeinu went to Shamayim and he looked over and he saw Rebbi Akiva, and and he was so to speak transported as the the Medrash goes into his Beis Medrash, and he said, "Who is this person?" Rebbi Akiva didn't have yichus. Rebbi Akiva's yichus wasn't wasn't necessarily yichus. He was, you know, the a descendant of converts. You know what I'm saying? Like when you look around at even the way the Eibishter made Mashiach work. Like look at the way the Kadosh Baruch Hu worked out David HaMelech and worked out Mashiach. Like everywhere you turn these are stories you can't even teach in schools so like and of course the people have but if you look through Jewish history you don't see that unless you have you have no shot if you have like you have people to guide you you have people in that are dominant for you have like I shall have a but if you if you don't feel you have like that's fine you still have I was talking to someone recently and he said to me like I want to know my the person I said I'll give you your he goes how do you know I'm like simple Abraham you Jacob like do you need better than that like do you need someone bigger than Abraham like what's going on like you you got like let's move on like you're good like Abraham you Jacob they're the biggest they're the biggest dude like you don't get better than them and you for sure come from them and like you're good like are we good now like you know like don't get people get caught in reasons why they can't push hard to be great it's just an excuse it's just an excuse hey we don't know so many people come from people that have no idea you know we've been through for so many years nobody knows where they come from I mean people know they can track it but so many of us have no idea who's our great great great great great great great great grandparent like we don't really know so don't let be an excuse for you not trying hard at the challenges in front of you and working on your relationship to the who it's just that's not where our great people have come from if you have it amazing and if you don't then make your the best thing you can do if you don't have is give your children us that would be the best answer to us oh wow powerful you mentioned Abraham was father was we all know he was an worshiper he sold out of so he didn't even have and then he could say and complain all my life I can't become great I have a brother, Yishmael. And then we know Yaakov also had a brother, Esau. So, family and yichus sometimes, like you said it beautifully, that you have to create it, you have to become great, no matter where you are, no matter what the situation is. And even when you see people with yichus, like if you really look at like let's say like Siyum HaShas Rabbis, like we don't see that the the Rabbis they don't become Rabbis because of their father, they become Rabbis because they work. Like we don't know what's going on in the homes of certain tzaddikim. Those kids don't become leaders because they are just born, they work really hard. Like I remember hearing a story about the Satmar Rebbe. And he he he he said that in his home they never ate because they were in the mood. Like the idea that you're just like, I need a snack. Like they never ate like the concept that like, I'm just I'm hungry. Like you eat when you need to eat. So, it wasn't just like the Rebbe came from the Rebbe. It happens to be sometimes you grow up in a home that's so holy that like your your your habits, but you can build those. You can you can learn from Seforim, you can you can you can learn from a Bayis Em, you can you can build your home, you can build your life in a way that has yichus, so to speak, right? That each one of us, if we're born into this world, are born with a piece of Hashem, and there's no bigger yichus than that. Powerful, powerful. You just inspired me, Charlie. Ah. Ready. You always inspire us. It's Hashem. So, uh some people might feel that they're too far along in their life to unlock greatness. Uh but we know that in the Gemara it says, "Yesh koneh olamo b'sha'ah achas." Uh there are those who acquire their next world in one moment. When does achieving greatness start? And what are the checkpoints to make sure we are on the right path? If you if you ever feel like you're too old, here's what I want you to do. Open up a Chumash and track every person in Chumash and find out when they do their biggest things. Just track it. I'm not Avram, Yitzchak, Yaakov. Yosef's a little different. Yosef was fairly young. He was 30. Keep on tracking. Moshe, Aaron, how old were they when they took all of them at the same Most of the times when you look around in Torah, it it took a while. Avram Avinu, how old was he when he brought Yitzchak up to to to get slaughtered? Like do the work and you'll see that there's no concept of being too old. Aleph. There's no Nobody know Like I said, nobody knows what their tough kid is, really. And nobody knows what greatness is. It's what's in front of you. It's different for each person. So, you may say to yourself, "Listen, I didn't grow up with an education. This guy next to me went to the best Yeshivas and he like knows so much and I know so little." Yeah, but his challenges are not your challenges. And Hashem's not looking at his scholarship and measuring it to your scholarship. So many times in life, because the society around us has no choice but to measure us in a comparative sense. When you go to school, they have no choice. It's a school. It it you you we don't we can't afford walking around with private tutors all day. You got to go to a school. And that school's got to have 25, 30 kids. As great as a school can be, they got to educate lots of people. So, they have no choice but to give everybody the same test. Like you know, it is what it is. Like every time like I remember when I wanted when I was applying for law school, like I had all these extra this and extra that and I was putting my application together and my my advisor was like, "Listen, who cares? Just what did you get on your LSAT?" So, I'm like, "What did I get on my LSAT? Like that's only one measure." And he's like, "Yeah, but think about it. The law school's getting applications from thousands of students. They don't know if like you being the president of your school's kosher or not. They have one test that everybody takes. Yeah, it's not perfect, but it is what it is. So, understand that in the world that we live in, everybody uses an imperfect measure called comparison. And you can't help but be in that world. You can't help but look over to see what your friend got when you get your test back. You can't help but look to see how your friend's doing in business. You can't help but look over to see how your friend davens for the amud or how much they know or who's giving shiurim or whatever. And the physical world, the material world, operates in this way. Then we make a mistake. We think that's how Hashem operates. Here's the deal. Hashem's not the material world. Hashem's got a better metric cuz he's Hashem. He looks into your heart. He knows your whole life. He knows everything about you. He's not comparing you cuz he's not the principal of a school. He's not the head of an admissions committee in a law school. He's Hashem. And he put you in this world with all of your weaknesses. And he put you in this world with all of your challenges. And he gave you your family, and he gave you your life, and he put you exactly where he needs you. And maybe breaking your teeth over one line to him is more valuable than the rabbi standing up who is quoting, you know, chapter and verse every gemara. Maybe. We don't know. But what we do know is that we're not being compared. It's not how we roll. You don't see in Torah where it says we say you don't see on Kippur and we say sorry that I'm not better than the guy next to me in shul. You don't see guys like knocking each other out on Yom Kippur so that you could finish an ilui while everybody's passed out. You don't see No one's comparing how long you can fast on Tisha B'Av to see who's going to make it to the end of the race to see who collapses first. You don't have these concepts. You do in You do in the world. There are races. There's competitions. Not in Torah. Because in Torah, in Judaism, there's no competition. Which means you're never too old and you're never too young. Wherever you are is exactly the you need to be right now. And all you got to think about is what's in front of me. What's my next move? What's my next win? What does Hashem want of me next? And if all Rebbe Nachman says, "Hayom." He says, "If all you're good for is one day, that's the only day that Hashem wants of you. Just today. And then tomorrow you'll worry about tomorrow." And to me, one of the reasons why we can't achieve greatness is because we use all of our energy for stuff that we can't control. What's going to be? What's going to be? What's the What's it worth? You know, I What if I do Like this happens all the time. I get inspired. But okay. And then you get inspired. Okay, but I can't keep this up. You ever have this any You ever like You'll like you're inspired. You're like, "Okay, I'd love to do this, but like next week is the summer and then I got to go here. Then I'm away on vacation. The next week something Yom Tov. You know what? I I'll I'll I'm in. I want to do this. How about like 2026? That's I have a pocket of time." It's all like, "Yeah, your mind." Like you You You You You You You Like do you know who runs this world? You feel inspired? That's why when I'm inspired, I just remember to be chazak, be strong. Just Just stay strong. Right now. Right now. This second. And that's That's the problem is that we waste our emotional energy on things that we can't control. And that saps us of what we need, which is what we can control, which is the next decision. And if you would stop all the time saying, "I'm too old. I'm too young. What about him? I wish I did. I wish I did. My parents, my family." And we just looked at the line and said, "What's the next decision?" And focused all of our energy on that, then we'd be great. Cuz we we we'd make Cuz we we've got enough koachus to make one decision. Like we could we could be great for 20 minutes. Like we can have a great day. We can't may we may we may not be We may not be able to have a great week. We can have a great afternoon. And as soon as you start seeing the world in these little day tight pockets with all your energy, that's when that's when you make real changes. Ah, unbelievable. So so so you've done extensive research about greatness. What is the number one quality in your opinion that differentiates between the great life and an average life? What would you say is So I'll tell you what's in the research the research that I found and what's not. What they don't know is the truth, right? Cuz they don't know the truth. Cuz you can't study the truth under a microscope. E- Someone who lives a great life is someone who lives with Hashem. Like end of story. Not like you're praying to God to get what you want. Not amazon.god. Actual God. Like when you live with Hashem and you walk in his ways and you you think about him and you put him into your life, you live a different life. Period. End of story. Game over. Like no There's no second place. There's only one place. Dveikus, as they say. You're one with Hashem. How do you do that? Starts by talking to him. Starts by wanting him. It starts by seeing what he wants of you. It starts by feeling him inside There's a lot of things you can do right away. But straight up, there's no money, there's no COVID, there's no job, there's no office, there's no car, there's no house. There is nothing in this world that will even be a close second to I feel like I'm walking with Hashem. Period. Now, let's get to like the physical world. In the physical world, the alma de shakra, as they say. The the unifying principles that I found with great people is the mind. Great people believe that their mind is their most important muscle. And they they watch it. And they tend to it. They don't let negativity come in. They don't waste it on stupidity. Great people that I've met don't spend half an hour on the phone talking about somebody else. Not because the Hafetz Chaim says it's assur, because it's a waste of my brain. They don't spend hours upon hours watching something on a screen where other people become great. They don't have that in their world. They believe that they can change. They really believe their brain is neuroplastic and it can change, whether they know that word or not. They believe that tomorrow could be better. And they believe that if they try hard enough, they can be different people. They believe in the power of their of their brains and their minds. And they tend they watch their minds like the way the Israeli army watches the border. They're always on the lookout. They never let the negativity They never let that seep in. They guard themselves to jealousy. They guard themselves for envy. I'm telling you, Hazal know what they're talking about. They say, "Ta'avah, kin'ah, kavod take you out of this world." Great people without even knowing they're like doing that are always on guard here. Because this is your most powerful muscle. And if you can say, "I want to work on my relationship with Hashem. I want to work on my the health of my mind." There's no telling what you can do. Wow. Unbelievable. He's like such inspiration. So so Charlie, we know in Judaism it says Kol Yisrael arevim zeh lazeh, all Jews are responsible for one another. What impact does helping others in their journey for greatness impact us on our journey? Uh you know, when that's involved with chazak in helping others, that's what I feel what makes us great is we make others great. So, what do you say about that? So so remember, there's always two parts of us. There's the body and the soul. The body wants to survive and the soul wants to be great. The soul isn't limited. So, the soul feels something when you connect to others, right? That's why when a person goes through a life cycle, they feel something. They expand themselves. They expand in marriage, expand in children, expand in teaching. Ask yourself, try this. Whenever you're giving, how do you feel? Whenever you're taking, how do you feel? Just try it. Go to a a door, hold it open for somebody, have the person walk in, and let's smile at them. Now, see how you feel. Next time someone holds the open for you, see how you feel. You'll feel differently. It's because the soul needs enjoys expansion. The body wants contraction. The body wants to accumulate, the soul wants to share. Body and soul. When you help another, you expand yourself. That's greatness. Greatness is the expansion of self. So, when you look at a godol or a tzaddik, they're not a godol or a tzaddik cuz they know more pages of Talmud than I'm sure there are people that are sitting somewhere that know pages of Talmud. They're They're godol or a tzaddik because their souls are expanded to include more people. You tell them your issues and they feel for you. You walk into a shul and the rabbi looks at you and you know he cares about you, right? When you're around great people, what makes them great isn't that they have a photographic memory. What makes them great is that they care more. So, it's counterintuitive because the body says, "No, don't do that. You're going to lose. Take." You got to do it with common sense, obviously, but when a person understands that their essence is to expand their soul and that's where their greatness is, giving becomes their method of doing it. And so, giving and being great is it's part of the it's part of the same coin. It's like in Hebrew, the word for giving is natan. Natan backwards would just spell the same way. When you give in essence you are also getting. Yeah, for sure. And that's what a raven means. A raven call is raven is is is even a deeper concept which is we're not even complete unless we're all together. Right? At our essence the call is real is one soul. Right? It's one soul call you so. And so me and you are just pieces of the same soul. And my perspective is so limited thinking that I'm different than you. But really really really me and you are in our essence the same. Like two two parts of of an ocean. Right? If you look at a wave and you take two cups of water in the same wave, it's two cups of water but they're the same wave. The same the same ocean. So when you put it into a vessel called a cup it seems different. So when God puts our soul into a body it feels different than you. But when you really look at it it's water from the same ocean. So me and you are the same. We're connected. And so when I reconnect to you, I feel like I'm more of me. Right? So we feel this way with our family, with our friends, with the people that look that are like us etc. But if you really really were operating at the highest level, live the real level, every Jew that you know is really a piece of you. So you are you're you're up when they're up and you're down when they're down and that's why the halacha follows us which is a tremendous kiddush in halacha which is if you make kiddush and then someone else doesn't have kiddush you can make kiddush again. That's a tremendous tremendous kiddush cuz it's a bracha levatala and we're very careful with you know saying Hashem's Hashem's name in vain, yeah. And yet we still can say Hashem's name multiple times in a kiddush because you need but what do you have to do with me? It's your kiddush not my kiddush. The answer is no, it's my kiddush too cuz a piece of my kiddush wasn't fulfilled if you're not if you if you haven't fulfilled it. Such a tremendous concept if you think about it that there's a piece of me that hasn't fully kept the mitzvahs if you haven't kept the mitzvahs. So I am not just like whatever live and let live. Now I got to do with the saykhel. I can't yell at you if you're going to like run the other way, but I have to feel for you. And that means if you're in pain, I'm in pain. And if you're happy, I'm happy. It's a tremendous level when you think about it. You know, if you look at the real tzaddikim, they didn't like Of course they had their own children and their own family, but they weren't like as long as my kids are okay, I'm okay. Right? They felt the pain of Klal Yisrael. They walked into a room and saw somebody and if they were struggling, these tzaddikim were struggling. Because they didn't see a chilluk. They didn't see a difference between themselves and other people. That's greatness. The extension of self. Klal Yisrael, we're all on the same boat. We We all think yet 100%. Ah, you're giving me so much chizuk, so much inspiration. I'm sure the audience all over the world is enjoying it as much as I am. And uh we'll leave you off with the one final question is if you could leave us with a final closing remarks, inspiring story, a message for the whole world. I I don't I I got my head on I don't know what story to say, but um Doesn't have to be a story. A final message for Klal Yisrael. Message. You know what? I I got to tell you the message that I think is on our heads is is dreaming. If I can leave you with this, you know, the the famous Ponevezh Rebbe would say, you know, I the famous he would always say that I'm people with he'd have all these dreams of Ponevezh. Now, Ponevezh is Ponevezh. It's you know, Bnei Brak is you know, the capital, the center of Torah. Um you know, it wasn't like that all the time. And when the Ponevezh Rebbe came to Bnei Brak, it was hills. It wasn't what it would look like today. And he would walk go around fundraising and they would say, "You're You're dreaming." And he would say, "I am, but I'm not sleeping." Right? Um Hayinu Hayinu K'Cholmim. The the the ability of a Jew is to dream and not sleep. Very powerful. You know, we're at a time where we got to start dreaming again. We got to stop getting We got We got to get out of this little muck called everyday life. We got to remember that we're the Jewish people. We remember that that Mashiach is coming. And we got to remember that we got to have big dreams. Dreams for each other. Dreams for our families, dreams for for call Israel. We shouldn't have organizations that need to knock on our door 100 times to help each other. We got to have dreams that every Jew is taken care of. We got to have dreams for ourselves that we're not going to like judge our Judaism by whether or not God's not mad at me on Yom Kippur. It's I want a relationship with Hashem. Like I want to dream about life where I can live in this world, but really walk with God. I want to dream about living in Eretz Yisrael at a time where it's safe, secure. I want to I want to Eretz Yisrael should be in our sights. If it's possible to go, if it's possible to be there. If we're in the diaspora, we have to dream that our communities should be should be spiritual and physical. We have to dream of big things, a Beit Hamikdash, Mashiach. We can't allow this world to lure us into smaller dreams. Just as long as we're safe and the restaurants stay open and everyone's okay, we're good to go. Just as long as we don't have, you know, um, you know, marches down our block with people that are ready to hurt us, we're good to go. We have to raise our eyes up, all of us. And if you It doesn't matter our backgrounds. It doesn't matter if we have the back That's excuses. If your eyes are open, you're in this world in the fourth quarter of Jewish history, cuz the Kodesh Baruchu sees something in your soul, whether you agree or not. He sees something in your soul that is shiyach for a time of geulah. We got to breathe that in, drop the whole I'm not enough nonsense, and realize that we got to think like geulah Jews. And what wherever you are and you're watching this, you got to realize that we got to big dreams for our relationship with Hashem, our relationship to each other, our knowledge of Torah, our ability to Daven, and to really be the people that are lights into the world. That's right. That is a powerful message. Think big, dream big. That's been the rule of It's It's enough is enough dial it up. There's so much suffering going on in the world. So many people are going through all these difficulties. But as I hear our prayers and bring the final redemption. Charlie, I want to thank you for everything you did for all of Israel. For nothing. Thank you. your time and we really appreciate you. You're always there for us. And what a powerful message you just left us. What an inspiring Tuesday timely Torah Talks with our dear friend Charlie Harary. And looking forward to seeing you at the the new stream of the complete redemption. Should be feeling it. I brought it to you. You know it was at this Tisha B'Av as well as doing it in we should do it at the new headquarters in Jerusalem at the base of Migdash. We'll have a barbecue coming in from all the so what could be better? We'll hang out. It'll be 67 degrees and cool on a beautiful Jerusalem evening. We're dancing in the streets. That's what we should do. We shouldn't be We shouldn't be hungry on Tisha B'Av this year. We should be We should be satisfied spiritually and and and physically. Amen. That's a great and yet every year we have Charlie on Tisha B'Av. We should be in Charlie once again. Thank you. Thank everyone. Every Tuesday we have amazing timely Torah Talks. Amazing topics. Talking Torah. Spread the word. Tell your family, your friends, your neighbors, everyone and continue to get inspired. Thank you.