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CHAZAQ's Torah Talks #11: Rabbi Menachem Nissel - The Power of Teffillah.
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welcome welcome welcome to yet another
edition of tuesday's timely tour
talks kazakh's amazing tuesday program
tonight we have a very special guest a
very dear friend of ours all the way
from the holy land for marriages
welcome rabbi how you doing very well
thank you thank you rubio
it's so exciting to be here and to
actually
see you at least using this incredible
medium cool zoom
i i really have to say that i sit here
in my little rabbi cave here in your
shalom or hakeers
and every time i see the word hazak come
up my whatsapps come on my email if it's
a big smile
you have this i don't know how you do it
literally across the world
impacted so many people all i can say to
you from your shelimer
kurdish hashem
hashem should give you all the strength
all the co-op to go on and continue
doing exactly what you're doing but just
like
10 times more keep up the impact thank
you so much amazing wow rabbit okay
we'll end the show right over there
wow thanks for the thank you for the
inspiration rabbi
tonight we're going to be discussing uh
the you're you're safer your amazing
book
are you the older rick shea lay woman
and phila oh you have it right over
there
i actually remember when the rabbit was
in new york speaking for hazak you gave
me a copy
and i believe i gave it to my wife so i
appreciate it and it's amazing so
we're gonna jump straight into it with
your permission rabbi we're ready
absolutely okay great amazing so can you
please describe the impact and the
importance of yourself in the amazing
state of the amazing book
rick shaylav so first of all thank you
for asking that great question i
actually
started teaching tefillah when i was in
my late 20s
i was teaching in a seminary and i had a
vision
that the purpose of teaching te fila
would be one thing and one thing only
basically what i wanted to do was create
some kind of a service
where i would introduce the students to
a kurdish borough
i felt and i still feel very strongly
that people
feel that they live in a godless world
they don't see a kurdish
in their lives and just getting familiar
with your sidor and knowing not just
what to do
but how to talk to hashem i felt that
that oh my gosh
okay why are people spending so much
money on therapy tela
is cheaper than therapy and it's much
more effective
so this is what i wanted to do this was
my great mission
in life is to introduce hashem to all
the
beautiful the mother out there what
happened was is because my audience
was was ladies i was teaching gumarat to
the boys and to fill up to the girls
they were sending me questions in the
halacha and i had no idea
they were asking me questions i never
thought about quran what happens
if i go to the synagogue and i come late
what should i do
should i jump in weather again should i
catch up what happens if a different
nusa
i had no idea so i went with all my
questions to quarter off scheinberg so
this is
i wrote them down and after about two or
three years
i had this teeny little booklet it never
occurred to me that this should be a
safari this should be a book but what
happened was
is that after a while i got bigger and
bigger i said no this has to be done
properly
and i realized that in our generation
there is a be kush from the ladies to
know exactly what to do
so many of them do not come from homes
that
were the mother that gave them a sarah
these are vale
they did not know what to do and that's
how the book actually developed thank
god
hashem gave me a lot of seattle ishmael
and the book was a bestseller
and it was terrifically mad until this
very day
um people think of me as the you know
the rickshaw
is the man that sells this safer that
helps women with prayer
amazing rabbi wow wow wow rabbi i know
that you're a being your rabbis were
rabbi
moshe shapiro and rap slowly will be a
memory
is there one tiny teaching of theirs
that we should all take to the heart
from these
especially for our times rabbi so
so first of all you know really to say
one timely teaching
from shapiro revolve it's like it's like
i don't need to be rude it's almost like
ridiculous
this man over here he sits in front of
my desk this is actually
i'm actually i took this picture this is
him giving the shield on friday
and i was this driver for almost 20
years
and um both him and revolver they
permeate all my teachings and they
permeate the teachings of their hundreds
and hundreds of students
i would like to share with you in terms
of tefila
the impact that they had on me that i
tried to transfer
to all my students is basically
that every moment in life is another
opportunity to turn into
prayer the top of the mutant whatever
you're going through in life life is
this roller coaster
there is not a single moment in our
lives where we don't feel anxiety or
stress
and this is because hashem wants to keep
us close
this is how we develop this tremendous
kesha the connection between us and god
it's interesting because my teachers
were very opposite in their personality
revolver you watched him pray and um
he didn't see much emotion he would be
like seriously like a soldier in front
of a king
but once he let it slip he said you know
the reason
why i like to pray minha the afternoon
service is always at lunch time
he says because i can't go so many hours
without talking to god
i can't have a shakharit in the morning
and then wait oh my gosh to like
five o'clock in the afternoon to talk to
him again
and my other teacher ramos shapiro i
mean it's just insane
how he was a very very emotional prayer
and you could hear him as he was talking
to hashem
he would govern for one hour a schwanna
esre on a regular basis
and i just heard this just a couple of
months ago
when i'm writing a book now about uh
ramos shapiro and
i'm writing 30 essays of the impact that
he had on the world
together with biographical sketches and
um
one of the things i just learned when he
found out that his cancer had come back
so he was in israel the moment that he
found out
he told his driver take me straight to
kevin rahel
and he always told us that kevin rahel
is the
place not the hotel the place is kevin
rachel this is based on the writings of
the
god move will not the gun the vilnigan
who says that
if you want to cry to hashem there's no
place
than to go to the place of tears
of rachel exactly he went there and he
started to cry and he cried in prayer
for five hours for five hours just to
give you
a little bit of a glimpse so i have
the demo the image of my teachers in
their own different styles
of how they lived their lives everything
everything they went through they
constantly turn that into opportunities
for prayers
and that is something that we can all do
every
single moment in our lives something is
happening our lives
are never boring admit it okay it's
never boring there's always
something going on grab it and turn it
into a
closer connection to hashem beautiful
wow so inspiring
so rav shapiro and vivobe um how do they
impact this safety rig shaylee that the
rabbi wrote
um well it's an interesting thing that
you you won't see them mentioned during
when you read the book i i almost never
quote them
but really they permeate every single
page because
what they did for me was to give me a
mindset
to understand what the mission of the
book was all about
i remember when i was single and the
first time i went and spoke to
ravalby rashford about shidduchim
and i asked him a question and now all
those single men out there
listen closely okay this is for you guys
he asked me what should be the number
one thing
to look for in in a wife
so i expected him to say something
something like from
but you know revolver was against the
word from i don't know what it was he
had some kind of an allergy to that word
he was more into like erlkaite and
frankite and he said the following words
he said to me he's the hebrew word
which in i guess in english is like juan
de vivre right
love of life and he said that you should
know
that that you you know you're going to
have it easy
because you're going to you're going to
go to the kalel you're going to study in
yeshiva
you go out to you go out outside and the
wife stays at home
and and it's not easy for her you have
you know what i call the magic hamper
where you put your dirty clothing
and no one in our in our gender has any
idea how it happens
but magically everything comes back
folded and cleaned in our closet
how does that work well guess what it's
not easy their job is very stressful
with all the children and the food and
everything you're doing and then not
necessarily doing things that they enjoy
a woman that has hit around a note she
has a natural joy of life
so she can always turn this into
something positive she can always keep
that smile on her face
and it's a tremendous blessing when a
woman has this particular
this particular um tendency
to be able to be not to be anxious
i i recently spoke to the ruben
leuchtter who i believe is the greatest
student
of revolver that's teaching today he's a
lot of great students but he's
made the most impact i asked him if
revolver was around today
what would he give what message would he
give to the ladies
and he said to me i don't know but i
know what my wife would say
he said women today need to hear two
words
those two words are good enough what is
good enough mean
good enough means that um if the house
is
90 percent 80 clean for shabbat
if if the kids they don't have to match
perfectly
you know if everything is just good
enough you take off layers of stress
from your life now i don't mean good
enough in your te fila
i mean good enough in just in general in
the way that you have
expectations from life when i went to my
teacher with moshe shapiro
and i said to him kotarov what should be
my my how should i write this book what
should be the goal of this book
and he was very very clear he said
listen to me the goal of your book
should be
to make life easier for women
it's what he said and it's interesting
because rav scheinberg
who is the prosecutor for the book had
the total opposite view
now well he was not anti-women at all he
had the most incredible marriage
he i mean he loved he loved everything
that women did but he
felt that women should be treated like
men in so much whatever they can they
should
so that was his whole approach was you
know
as much as they can women should pray
like the men pray
and my rebbe remote shapiro said no no
no if they need to relax let them relax
it's so important for them to feel
comfortable
with the way they talk to hashem so that
impacted a lot of how this book came out
and how i teach things right now when i
teach 18 year old girls
i tell them to go for less not not for
more
to start preparing for those days when
their lives become
more overwhelming that they should be
able to learn how to speak with the
quality
and the power of saying less but from
the heart
than just to say lots and lots and lots
of quantity
powerful robbing this amazing amazing
you touched on this point but in the
book you described the woman's
obligation in filing prayer can you
please outline a few misconceptions in
this area i know there is a lot of
misconceptions oh
it's um it's time down you know maybe we
don't have to do it maybe we should do
it and you mentioned from scheinberg
your role based so you should know
that the question you just asked really
it flows seamlessly from my previous
question
yeah open up it's really you know this
is this is uh
this is the the guy book according to
her scheinberg for women as well as
men you open up simon kovac and there he
says
you know women are obligated in the
schwann estrella
the same as men by the way
not out of it okay arvid unless you're a
sephardic
and you follow the cafe that says women
should pray everything
they say you should be saying twice a
day ashwana esri
comes along all my teachers and they
tell me tell the women
especially when they're married with
kids they've got to know how to chill
with my strength he should be well and
healthy he lives down the road to me
here in her north
he told me when i started my book he
said to me you know when you the
title of your book you see this word
customs
he said if you don't write the word
customs i'm not giving you a husqvarna
you know why
i'll tell you why because there's no
such thing as halacha for women when it
comes to prayer
it's all customs it's all what they saw
their mothers do
you know tell me
i mean you and i are going to laugh but
it really our wives we have to give them
so much kavod
when you think about this rimershire
streamer told me that
said that the reason why women who are
busy
raising their children are exempt from
tifila
because they have the same halacha
as when someone goes on a journey now in
those days
journeys is not just getting on a plane
on and off and then you sit there
comfortably
in those days pc people used to travel
for months when they came home
they had three days where they were
exempt
from prayer from the sheer utter
exhaustion from the you know they just
can't think here's too much
mr khazanesh guess what women are like
that all the time
it's a crazy women are constantly in
that state
of being if they're juggling today women
expect it to work as well
and raising their kids and they're
involved in 101 different
acid operations they're doing so much so
they have an exemption from tefillah
but of course as we all know that
more than ever before that's when they
need prayer
when they're raising their families when
their lives are busy and
we desperately need their prayers
because their prayers are so powerful
rabbis so could you please maybe
describe the differences in the
obligations
of men and women in prayer so
again again there's there's there's the
halacha and then there's the customs
in in a you and i have to double
three times a day women should darken
ideally
twice a day in practice and already
arabic said once a day is is sufficient
and it just in general the custom of
women once they get married and
they and they're very busy is they start
cutting down
i actually give a course to ladies this
year i gave a course to women in chicago
how they should darken every day and i
said to them all they have to do
is the morning blessings and the shema
because these are women who are
incredibly busy
and they have to say what i call one
three three
fifteen one okay one is moda ani
three tilatida kind of shama the next
three is the three parts of briquette
the 15 morning blessings and then they
say
the shema ideally the first paragraph
minimum the first six words
what does this mean they start off their
day and they say to hashem
we will notice the little things in our
lives that we tend to take for granted
that's thank you for my clothing thank
you for my eyes thank you that i can sit
straight
and shema is their declaration of faith
if you want to hear more about it they
gave a class in queens
to hazak called pledge of allegiance
my class on the shema it's on tour
anytime okay
so the bottom line is so women have to
be incredibly
flexible um shema is another example
women are exempt from shema
it's a positive time-bound mitzvah
have you ever heard of a woman that
doesn't say shma of course they do
a woman wants to express what she
believes in the woman wants to give over
her own
her own um pledge of allegiance to
hashem
so for the rest of the details you're
just going to have to buy the book what
can i tell you
rabbi could you maybe mention another
special connection between woman and
fila i know you touched on it but uh
um the the the the
the
the most important woman in history
is the most important governor of all
time her name was
hannah hannah
her prayers the talmud brings down the
gemara and
brings down we learn more from her
praise and from any other person in
history
who is hannah hannah was a woman
her husband just didn't get it it sounds
like you know
a new york boy from 2021 he just doesn't
understand his wife
this poor girl she goes to the mishkan
and there's ellie who also did not
understand her
and she cries and pulls her heart out
and from those prayers there's so many
halacha that we learn
it's interesting you know i i know i'm
constantly plugging my little book over
here but my
rebbe rama shapiro he gave me his ass
come on and if you could see it over
here
there we go this is oscar over here and
in it he writes the following words he
says why is it
that women are so much better than men
when it comes to prayer
i want to everyone that's listening over
here think about your grandparents
your your sabbah and your softer right
your your boobie and your
and your zeta your grandfather your
grandmother how do you compare them
your grandmother those in the king was
matter where they came from
from morocco or aleppo or they came from
buharia or they came from lithuania or
they came from hungary or germany it
doesn't make any difference
the women had this power of tefillah
since rama shapiro and his in his
in his in his blessing has come out to
my book
it's very very simple um you will know
that we're just like a few weeks away
from the festival of shivawat well wish
everyone
was a marriage king solomon said
we became the bride god was the khatan
was the was the groom
and this was this incredible union that
we had over there
the the relationship between man and god
is a female male relationship and
again even although and what i'm saying
to you now is more like in
theory it's this way but the theory is
the woman
she runs the home and the woman waits
for the man to come and give her
whatever she needs the food
the money whatever is necessary to build
that home
and we so to speak we run this world
and hashem has to give us the shepherd
the rain and the crops
and the paycheck at the end of the month
so we can do what needs to be done
so when it comes to prayer women are
naturally governors because prayer is
essentially feminine
so and obviously this is very deep on a
kabbalistic
uh level what it means that women are
prayer
they don't doubt they don't pray they
are prayer their essence is prayer
because they look so to speak for hashem
to give them that
shepherd like the jewish people look at
hashem
and that's why they are so naturally
good at what they do um
yeah i think maybe i could add
yeah that and this leads me to my next
question maybe it's because the
obligation of men is shahari i read
three times a day while obligation for
women is like you're saying it depends
on the woman but more or less one
or two times but this leads me to the
question how do we gain an
appreciation and a new flavor for for
prayer when we say the same exact words
every single day you have any
suggestions rabbi
so so first of all your question is one
of the best questions
i ever get in tefila um and
i'm going to be a moment of honesty and
i think i speak for many of us
we all work hard and to fill out but we
all know
how hard it is i mean oh my gosh you see
the 19 blessings of the show and astray
let's be honest okay how many little
travels do we do
from the beginning to the end you know
like you go like that welcome come back
in come back it's so hard
it's really very very hard for us say
the same words in and out
now i could answer which i do not want
to do
i can answer and say so get used to
saying your own words
i always encourage before you take your
three steps back
stop think ask yourself what's really
bothering what's on your mind
now say to hashem in whatever is your
language you feel comfortable with
before you take your three steps back
i want to share with you something i
heard from
revolver rachelle balba it's a very
powerful powerful thing
he said you know revolver was from
germany and whenever he spoke about
nature he always spoke about the alps he
said if you take a train
through switzerland put this on your
bucket list
next time you come to israel you take a
little stop over
you come to zurich you get on a train
and the train takes you
goes it's one of the most beautiful
things to do in europe it takes you
through the alps
and as you are looking at niflotabara
you'll notice something interesting you
see this gorgeous mountain this
beautiful mountain with the snow and the
green that goes up to the snow and it's
just like so fabulous
but the train is going around it and as
you go around
if you blink for a moment you open your
eye you think
you're looking at a different mountain
but you're not
it's the same car the same mountain but
from a different angle
it says revolver that train is your
journey of life
it cannot be that you dump them the
schwann estrella you double your prayers
the same way last year as he did this
year if you do
you're not in touch with what is
happening in your life
on a personal level this year was the
year of takanon
takanon has a lot of references to
plagues
and i never noticed it before and never
i never cared about talking about
plagues
plague sounded so like medieval oh my
gosh
okay i just saw i just said you know
robbie wearing his mask here in israel
we don't wear masks anymore thank
god okay but you know that the whole
thing i i i was i'm most nervous that my
grandchildren
are gonna think that wearing masks is
normal this means that you have to pray
differently
your life is constantly changing so what
you need to do
and this i heard from my rebbe revolver
many many times before you start praying
you must and this is not just revolver
revolver is bringing a
source in the shohana
before you start praying stop and think
about
what you need to tell hashem about in
the last 24 hours or since the last time
you prayed
things are happening then look at those
same words
and you'll see like light going through
a prism
the colors will come out differently
you'll study notice things that you
never noticed before
because what's on your mind you will
find in those words
now there's two things that have to come
out of this number one
is you have to actually look at the
words and number two
is that honestly i think every single
one of us
needs to spend time learning what the
words mean
and asking themselves a very very
important question
how do these words apply to my life i
always tell this to my students
please don't take menachemissa's classes
and bring them into your prayers only do
that if they work for you
every single one of you should find the
the words
that talk to you and focus on them and
you can keep on changing them
so one day you'll hear a class i don't
know from the words of
pinkus and he said well that's that
that's me he's talking to me
and then you'll you'll put it into your
te fila and then a yearly you'll hear
from somebody else
so your challenge is to make the words
work for you make them dynamic
hashiba shaftani kuberi shona
bring back our justice system i'm
sitting in israel watching a great
country called america
and you're asking yourself you know
what's happening over here i don't want
to get into politics at all
but it's talking to us sure we want the
shufftim to come back the way it's
supposed to be
and those that will that feel asked to
come back and come alive suddenly
real life should impact the way that you
see the words in your tequila
that's what revolver taught me powerful
powerful powerful amazing oh everybody
should take this to heart and apply it
right away to to have these words apply
to us
and talking about us rabbi you know one
of the things is that you know we just
finished you should give over to your
children
what is the best way to give over the
greatness the amazing power of tifila
to our children okay
so now you're asking really really
important questions
um honestly and just like everything
is becoming more difficult for the
younger generation
i think tifila is also becoming harder
and harder for them
it's harder for them to focus it's
harder for them
to reconcile with so many stresses in
their lives
if i could say one thing and one thing
only it would be
role modeling which means my rebbe
revolver said to us many many times
when is the first moment of emunah the
first moment of faith
that a child learns and the answer is
it's friday night ima my mother is
lighting candles
it's beautiful suddenly she takes out
this little book and she starts crying
with tears
and she what's going on why is emma says
mommy's talking to someone
and it means so much she's not sad she's
emotional but in a beautiful way
sister blah blah that is the first class
email
and when not that a child gets
interesting
about five years ago i was at a family
wedding
and i met my cousin joseph frankel he
lives in malaya
he runs a school there and i asked him
what do you teach
he says me i teach tafillah and we're
actually writing a book about now he's
my first cousin
and he did not really didn't get it that
i also wrote a book on tefillah
and he's writing a book in tefillah and
he's a teacher and i said where does
this come from
and he laughed at me and he said did you
ever notice
that your mother was praying the whole
time my mother was from germany
my mother she didn't cover her hair she
came from lexicon germany
it was you know that it was a different
vibe back there
but when i grew up now i started to
think about it she always was saying to
heal and she got that from her mother
and these were german women living
in and with all the modernity of germany
the one thing they never gave up
was this constant constant attachment to
the words of tequila and that is
past together with the mother's milk
it's passed into the genes of the child
that you cry out to hashem so the number
one thing
if you want your kids to be governors is
that you have to be dumb and they have
to see you pray
lead by example absolutely you know what
you know what
okay start off this shabbat everyone
that's listening
when you take your katamazon i want you
to say it word for word
thinking about each word why you need
four different brachats
and let your kids see how you took that
seriously
that's a powerful powerful lesson ah
rabbi
i'm telling you you gave me so much
kazoo about tefila i can't wait to go
run to daven now
uh rabbi could you uh talking about your
savior about you
how does one gain access to the safer
and is there any plans to possess them
come out with another volume on this
topic maybe something for the men
what do you say robbie i it's a little
frustrating that my wife always teases
me that everything i do
takes 100 hours and one minute which
means basically it takes me one minute
to do it 100 hours till i get there
for the last 10 years i've been trying
to
come out with another edition of
rickshaw
and um it's actually crazy you can go on
amazon
it sells it for over a thousand dollars
don't do it
don't buy it just hold yeah it really
does okay
that's over a thousand bucks just just
wait out a little bit you can get that
the hebrew version
i don't know if you saw this day the
hebrew version that you can still get
but we're redoing the hebrew version as
well i have a son
invite the gun he's a rosh khalel about
three years ago he said to me
abba enough is enough i'm taking this
into my own hands
he went through all the marijuana he
took many many questions to refine
kenyawski
he redid the whole thing and he added so
many different layers and levels
and it's going to be basically a new
book much more improved
the english is going to be better and
wait out
and um yeah feldheym go for it okay
they're going to be doing this
for us and uh look out in your
bookstores for rickshawed
and then if you see me i'll sign
something for you and then you can
resell it on ebay for a profit just
kidding
okay amazing amazing rabbi okay looking
forward for the news save for the new
book visit
uh rabbi to end off can you please leave
us with some inspiring closing remarks
that we haven't touched upon yet any
final message you'd like to give to our
large audience
maybe some rizuk some inspiration
something anything
i do i have a lot to say let's say it in
three minutes
i'm just going to see the bottom line
what's on my mind
i mean it's i hope your audience is
aware
that we're going through a period of the
in the jewish calendar
called the week of the week of hot means
it's the
when this hera that we are reading is
all about
hodlichi means uh hugging splendor hot
means
when god says says modern
to our prayers the week of heart began
if you remember with pesach i don't know
what your custom is
yaniv do you have the custom of like
crunching on matzot you eat that
you find those stale matzos from a month
ago and
you finished them off hey he's giving a
person a second chance we do a lot that
day
there we go it's giving a person a
second chance it is a
crazy story these people turn to moshe
beno and say we missed out we missed out
on bringing the pesach
the korban a person does not bring the
karban he gets correct he's cut
from the jewish people because this is
the essence of judaism
we don't want to be left out but sure a
baby should have said to them i'm sorry
my dear friends
you know what i mean like you missed the
boat it's your problem wait round till
next year
it's not what he said he said let me ask
hashem
hashem is smiling hashem says
my beautiful children they want so badly
they want so badly to get close to me
i'm gonna make a new hog
i'm going to change the rules i'm going
to give them a new festival
and i want to say to every single person
that's listening
i am a teacher hashem bless me with
hundreds and hundreds of
wonderful beautiful amazing the shamath
students that i have
if you could if you could show a common
thread of what i'm hearing
especially in the last year so much so
much frustration
there's so many girls that i that i care
about
who are now in their 30s still looking
for theirs
young couples who have difficulty with
with their marriages
rabbi should i break up this marriage
what should i do
people that can't have children people
that are raising kids and
watching them going on what my sister
calls the scenic route
and then sicknesses and sicknesses and
then people start praying to hashem
and they get frustrated because we live
in a world where we want instant answers
it doesn't work that way but it works
you have to tell hashem this is so
important for me you have to go with
them
why should we be left out why should we
be different
hashem is all-powerful for him it's easy
he can do anything he can change the
world inside out
outside in a flash he can certainly help
you out with your little problems
for you they're big problems but
all he foreign is that relationship with
you that's
real that comes from your heart
so pesach the month of er
the week of hud is that time of the year
will reflect that we have
infinite power if we plug into the one
and only
and then hashem will smile and say hard
modani you're right and give us all the
blessings in the world
so what can i tell you from your shalom
to queens
and to the rest of the world anyone
listening don't stop those tears don't
stop their prayers
and hashem should open up all the gates
of mercy and all the gates of love and
all the gates of goodness
and if next time i'm not going to be
doing this through zoom
you're going to be interviewing me in
your shalam era kurdish at the beta
dash can hear you thank you so much
thank you very much wow what an
inspiration what a powerful final
message we really appreciate about
municipal position we should see each
other very soon
enough to be merely new ones again every
tuesday night amazing
inspiring messages timely tuesday torah
talks kazakhstan's tuesday program
with a special guest revenue so once
again thank you very much
and we'll see you soon in our in your
shelling