Why Life’s Challenges Are Custom-Made for You | Rabbi Benzion Shafier | Tisha B'Av

Before the destruction of the Ba Mikdash, Hashem sent Novi after Nvi, prophet after prophet, warning, warning, warning. And Yesha Novi was charged with delivering a message. But the message he delivered was quite interesting. Yoda Shaneo, the ox knows its master. Ava's the donkey knows the stall of its owner is Jewish nation doesn't know me was saying in the name of Hashem that you are lower than animals and Rashi explains this is to be taken quite literally what was saying was that Hashem is telling you these words I gave the ox a certain nature I gave the mule a certain nature It doesn't change. The ox doesn't say one day, I'm not going to pull. I'm not going to plow. The donkey doesn't say, "I'm not going to carry the load." It obeys the nature that I gave it. But you, Israel, you don't obey your nature. You veered off. You're lower than behemoths, lower than animals. And while these words are quite damning, I'd like to ask the obvious question, and that is that it is a very unfair comparison. If you go to a racetrack, you'll see a jockey get on the horse. The horse weighs 1,500 pounds. The jockey weighs 105 pounds. The jockey says, "Go." And the horse goes. The jockey says, "Lft, it goes left, right, right, stop, stop. But there's a reason why the animal obeys. Because its nature is such a domesticated animal obeys its master. Need to be trained, but it obeys. Try putting a saddle on a Siberian tiger or a polar bear. It doesn't go so well. The point being, Hashem gave a particular nature to each animal, a nephahami, an internal imprinted instinct. and it obeys that instinct because it has no choice. It has no other voice. And of course, it does what it's supposed to do because that's where Hashem created it. But we're a bit different. Yes, I have a part of me that only wants to do what's right, what's good, what's proper, my shama, but I have another part of me completely the opposite. There's a full half of me that doesn't care about anyone else other than me. There's a full half of me that only has its desires, needs, and doesn't even know of anyone else. And the battle of being a human being is there are two voices within me. Each one speaking, each one vying for primacy. And if you don't know what I'm saying, I'll give you a very simple example. It is relatively easy to make a decision to go on a diet. I'm not going to touch chocolate cake for the next two months. Okay. Until the first time someone offers me a slice of chocolate cake. Oh, I decided I don't want it already. I'm not touching it, but it looks really good. No, but I don't want it. But it looks delicious. I said, no, but you're really hungry, aren't you? I said, stop it. No, you really want There are two voices within me. Where did that voice come from? There are many, many thoughts that I control and many, many thoughts that I don't. A full half of me is an animal soul. Hashem imprinted into that soul all of the instincts I need to survive as a human being much like any animal in the wild. But that part speaks in my brain freely and whenever it wishes and so I am quite distinct from the behema that Yesha describes because the animal obeys its nature because that's where Hashem imprinted it. The ox plows and the donkey pulls. But I have two natures. Within me is a voice that says, "Do what's right, what's good, what's proper. Serve Hashem, be generous, be good." But there's another half of me that says, "No, I don't care. I only care about me and me alone." And the battle of being a human being is which voice wins out. Which voice do I listen to? But it's my entire existence. As long as I'm in this world, those two voices will speak. So, how could you compare the to the ox to the Okay, good. We messed up. We blew it. But don't say I'm lower than the ox because the ox doesn't change its nature. Doesn't change its nature. That is its nature. But I have a vastly different reality. I have two natures. And that's a very unfair comparison. And I'd like to see if we can understand what in fact Rashi is telling us. And to do that I'll share with you something very very compelling. The Ramalem explains that the first man before the before he sinned was very very different than we are now. Marishan was in perfect balance. He could do exactly what he wanted without any influence whatsoever. And in that state he was to reach perfection. But his choices were completely cerebral, completely intellectual. If I go to a store, I have a choice of a black suit or blue suit. It's an intellectual decision. No temptation, no great desires. Make the better choice. Admirish was outside of the desires. He had choices in front of him. And those choices were made strictly with the intellect, with his understanding. What's better for me? What's better for creation? What does Hashem want me to do? But that was adisham before the sin. After he sinned, he changed the very nature of the human. And now no longer am I sort of wearing the bear's costume. I'm put inside the bear speaking in my brain, speaking in my mind. And every single decision I'll make for the rest of my life, there are two voices. And I have to identify who's speaking. Which voice is that? And many times it's hard to discern. Many times it's hard to know but that voice will speak within me always because that is what it's like being a human after the sin. But explains there's a second distinction of before the sin and us and that is excuse me we identify two aspects of the nama the soul. One aspect we identify it as the life source that which makes the human being alive as opposed to a domain. The other source the other feature that we recognize is its the nama is that part of me that's intelligent that's wise imprinted with all of the instincts to do what's right what's good and proper to accomplish my purpose in creation. But there's a third feature of the nishama that we're not aware of explains. Before the sin, the nishama had a power to change the nephahami. The nishama was so powerful it could at will change the animal soul within it. Change the animal that it sort of was wearing as a costume because that's the power of nishama. And let's go back to our example with me and the chocolate cake. Admirishan wasn't just not enveloped in the body. It wasn't just that he wasn't tempted. It wasn't just he was cerebral. He could at will change any desire that he ever faced. Meaning to say if he decided not to eat chocolate cake for the next two months, he would change change the nephew, the animal soul within him, you shall no longer crave carbohydrates. But that's just the mushul. What that means in plain language is there's a tad too much anger, a little bit too much arrogance. Change that. He was malleable plastic. He could change the essence of him. I don't think I'm generous enough change. But when he sinned and the nama no longer had that power because now we're put into the body of the bear. No longer wearing a suit as a costume. Put inside that body. Put inside the bear itself. And now the nishama can no longer function. The nama functions as a life source as a source of intellect. But it can't change the body. and therefore explains to introduce something called death. You see, in our current state, we can't reach perfection. I can try, I could set goals, I could work, but I'm never going to get there because my cannot change my body. And therefore, Hashem had to introduce death. When I die, my body's put in the ground. I separate and I go to the let's call it a sort of a holding pen where I wait for a given amount of time. And then there's a third stage. Third stage is where each of us are put back into a body similar to before the sin. And in that state has its original power and can change the essence of me grow and grow and accomplish get closer to Hashem reach its source of perfection. But three stages this world and but notice please that there's no mention of Msiah this world this world world where I separate I'm just pure nama put back into this world into a new formed body no mention of mashia what happens when mashia comes I was a rebi in Rochester for 12 years. So many of my kids grew up there. And one summer, one of my kids comes home and says, "Ah, but do you know do you know where Mashiach comes? Lollipops are going to grow on trees." I wasn't the one to burst the bubble, but I'd like to share with you. No, lollipops will not grow on trees. The Rambam and explains no. When Msiah comes, the world will still remain operationally as it is now. No changes in mice and braces. No changes in physicality, the same world. Granted, it will all be in Israel. Shem will rebuild the base of Mikdash, but the world physically remains as it is now. You still put a seed in the ground and it grows. You still have a job. Okay, you only have to work a few hours a day maximum because there' be abundance. But the Rambam explains the key distinction between now and Mashiach has nothing to do with physicality. Malaya or its dea as Hashem. The entire world will know Hashem palpably. I know this is here. I'm not debating it. I don't think about it. If I trip and hit my head on the floor, I don't think it's going to hurt. I know it. Every human being alive will see Hashem right here present. And explains the Rambam that changes everything. The world physically is the same, but every human being has a vastly, vastly different currency, different focus, and everything changes. Stealing. What do you mean stealing? First of all, God's right there. More than that, Hashem gives me exactly what I need. But that's not just something that we come to that conclusion. Every human being on the planet, 7.8 billion people on this globe, everyone sees Hashem, everyone recognizes Hashem. Anxiety. What do you mean anxiety? Shem is right here controlling everything. Hashem is the orchestrator of every single activity under the sun. Now we say the wordim I believe. But you don't say the words of Mashia comes. You know it. You experience Hashem. Every single action of your life is directly orchestrated by God. And more than that, Hashem is the maintainer of all physicality. If Hashem would cease infusing energy into any particle of this existence, it would cease to be. Now that's a theory. Now we think it, we understand it, we'll see it then. Thisender is here because Hashem is keeping it. My hand is here because Hashem is keeping it. And if Hashem ceases to will it into existence, it will cease to be. I will cease to be. I recognize Hashem as the creator, the maintainer, the orchestrator of all. And that understanding changes every aspect of life. You see, there are many things that we don't need to be schooled in. You go to an ocean and you see the breath, the beautiful sky, it's wow. You see, you see a sunset, it's amazing. It's beautiful. Who taught you to appreciate a sunset? Who taught you to appreciate a forest scene? You don't have to be taught it's be it's just beautiful. Imprinted within me is all the knowledge to recognize beauty to recognize purity and explains the Rambam. For that reason as the job the profession the occupation of every human being alive will be one leas Hashem to know Hashem. The reason why Jews will be reverred and be exalt exalted is because we are the ones who know Hashem more than any other nation. And more than that Mashia comes all reach the level of Nva. The Gentiles will run after us. Teach me teach me teach me. Why? Because every human being has a yearning. Every human being has a desire, a spiritual hunger to be close to Hashem. I see Hashem right here and I recognize the beauty, the majesty, Hashem, God himself. I want to know more. I want to get closer. Please teach me, show me. But you see, the point is each of us have imprinted within us all of the knowledge, all the understanding we need to reach utter perfection. The difference between now and Mashiach coming is now we're clouded. We're blinded. And there are two voices. And one says, "Let's grow." The other one says, "I couldn't care less." And one says, "Get out of bed." No, I'm tired. But that voice is within me, imprinted with all of the instincts, all of the desires to do what I need to reach perfection, to be close to Hashem, to be generous, to be good, to be kind. And so says this will answer for you a very difficult question that many people ask. So in his introduction to Yarda says many people ask questions why did he die? A young person dies why why him? He was a good person. Why him at 15 at 18? Why? Why? Why? Explains the question is missing the boat. explains that if I were to listen to my nishama from the moment I come to das the moment I come to any intellectual understanding if all I did was listen to it within a few short years I'd reach my level of perfection and I'd be done my job on this planet the reason it takes us 60 70 years because we take two steps forward one step back one step forward two steps back we spin our wheels because I do what I'm supposed to do I don't I don't I do I don't I don't we make country decisions all of our lives and therefore it takes 60 70 years explains so if you see a sadic someone who really is a bonafide recognized saddic and he's still here when he's 50 when he's 60 when he's 70 you should ask a question what's he still doing here and so explains he's not here for himself he long ago perfected himself he's here for others his students his children the generation but it doesn't take long to reach utter total spiritual perfection because imprinted within me is all of the knowledge, all of the instincts to do just that. And I believe that's what Rashi means when he explains the words visay. Hashem says, "I gave the ox a nature. I gave the mule a nature and I gave the Jewish nation a nature." Imprinted within you are all the instincts to do exactly what you should be doing when you should be doing it. Oh, you had another voice. Okay. But it was your choice. You could have listened. You could have not listened. You corrupted your nature. And you got to the point where you so veered off course that I don't recognize you anymore. And you are lower than the ox, lower than the kamar. Why? Because it didn't change its nature. I you had a fight. Yeah. But you also had the ability to not listen. And if you corrupt your nature to that extent that Hashem has to destroy the base mdish, Hashem says you are lower than the behemoth, lower than the animal. With that being said, I have an interesting question to ask. And that is why do we need Msiah? Now, why do we need Mashiach? 500 years ago, a thousand years ago, I understood life used to be very, very harsh. 500 years ago, the average citizen in England did not have most of his teeth by the time he was in his mid-30s. The average citizen in England did not bathe in the winter. It was known to be bad for your health. That means from about October till about March, you didn't take a bath. You went to sleep in straw, bed bugs, lice, and you got up in the morning, you chop wood. You had to that was the only way to heat, only way to cook. You went out to hunt or farm or whatever you did. But life was very, very harsh. That's not our experience today. I live in Muny. I live in a house. I own the house or me and the bank. Anyway, I saw a picture of Lord Rothschild's house. Lord Rothschild, the financier of Europe in the 17th century. My house is larger. My house is fancier. Plus, I've got indoor plumbing. He had to use the outhouse. I have electricity. I have air conditioning. Do you know what that means? I have air conditioning. The king of England in the 1600s got into his chariot with 12 white horses. Beautiful. The wheels were made of wood. The road were filled with potholes and a trip lasted days. That means to say for six days the king of England riding in the royal coach shook and shook and shook. And in the winter it was freezing cold and the summer it was sweltering hot because the king of England with all of his wealth could not make himself cooler. I was driving here today. I tried to keep the air conditioning off because it's tish above and my phone started overheating. So I had to turn air conditioning on. Listen to what I'm saying to you. I rode an air cushioned ride. I rode with air conditioning following my GPS in my Toyota Camry, not a fancy vehicle. And no one here is going to say, "Woo, I, a simple taxpaying citizen, enjoy wealth and luxuries that kings of yesterday year cannot imagine." So here's the question. What do we need Mashiah for? We got it all. And if that question doesn't bother you, I'll make it a little bit stronger. Torah today flourishes to an extent that's hard to imagine or envision. 10,000 young men learning in BMG in Lakewood. 10,000 young men learning in every street corner in Brooklyn. More yes. More yes. They say since the great yeshivas of Suratisha, there's never been this much full-time learning. And in fact, we've exceeded those numbers now by far. Everyone accessible, available. You have Torah anytime. You have base measures, you have programs, kro not what everything is available and Torah flourishes today as certainly I never saw in my lifetime to an extent that's hard to envision or imagine. So what do we need Mashia for? But even more, for centuries, for millennium, Jews were oppressed, murdered, inquisitions, programs, hangings, stabbings. Find me a way to kill another human being. It was used on the Jews. Find a way to tort another human being is well used on the Jews. We have lived through thousands of years of oppression and torture. But that's not our experience today. My father had a cousin who was born in Poland preworld war II and he explained to me what it was like walking to school as a little boy. He says he doesn't remember a day that there wasn't Jewish blood spilled and the local polocks would jump on them, fight them. You couldn't report them to police because the police would beat you up further. But there wasn't a reality of peace. Constantly oppressed, constantly facing anti-semitism. That's not our reality. I do not remember in my entire life being spit upon Jew. I haven't been called dirty Jew since I'm maybe eight years old. And even though yeah, we see signs of anti-semitism now. Do you understand that God is fighting our wars? Do you understand that Israel is now the superpower of the region? The reason why every Arab country wants to make peace with Israel is not because they became lovers of Jews. It's because they know they'll be destroyed, wiped off the planet. Iran, the powerful Iran, Israel showed it. It was so vulnerable. Israel at will could have bombed any single site in Iran. There was no defense. Any single place in Iran would be obliterated, would be wiped out. The mighty powerful Iran. So this anti-semitism that we live with for 1900 odd years doesn't exist in our world. So what do we need Msiah for? Our was a yeshiva mi for Balichuva. I would often speak there and I often had the guys over Friday night. And there was a rule at a shaver house. Nothing's free. You got a pay for meal. The guys had to tell the story. How did you become religious? My kids would sit there with jaws open hearing per story after story. One Friday night, there's a fellow at the table who's not yet religious who says to me, "Rabbi, every wise person I've ever seen, I ask this question to my college professors, my grandparents, anyone with any wisdom and no one can answer this question. Maybe you can answer it." I said, ' It sounds like a challenge. What's the question? Question is, why have children? Why have But not why have children because they're bratty and they're noisy, expensive. No, no, no. Why do that to an innocent little baby? There's so much pain, so much blackness, so much ugliness in the world. Why take an innocent little infant and bring him into this horror? Why do you want a kid? Why torture an innocent baby because you want to have a child? Why have children? So I said to him, "It's a good question and I have two answers. One that's right, one that's wrong. Which one would you like?" So realizing that's two for the price. One, he said, "I'll take both." He's Jewish. I said, "Let me tell you the wrong answer first." The wrong answer is, "You're right. Life is very ugly, very tough, very rough. But do you understand the world to come is so great? Hashem is very, very capable. Look out at this world replete with wonder. A 100red billion galaxies. 100 billion of those in the known universe, all with harmony, all with peace. Could you imagine if Hashem created a world for one purpose and one purpose only, and that was for you to have pleasure, unending pleasure, whist, swirls when it swirled, and you never got bored, never got tired. That is the world to come. So yes, you're right. This life we live is very harsh, but the world to come is so great that it's worth suffering all the pain. I said to him, "That's 100% true." But the wrong answer to the question, the right answer to the question is, if you understand life, life is beautiful. If you understand why you're here, you get up in the morning, say, "Let's go. 24 hours to change myself, change the people around me, let's go." Oh yes, life has its problems, headaches, and travails and issues. But there's a there's an inner joy. Why? Because you understand life. You're growing. You're accomplishing. You and you are in sync. You and your inner sense are in harmony. And is an inner joy and inner happiness. If you understand life, life is beautiful. That seems to be lacking in our day and age. The amount of people who suffer, the amount of people in pain, oh, they don't suffer physically, they don't suffer financially, but they sure do suffer emotionally and psychologically. I get the calls, I get the emails all day, all the time. And if you hear about the amount of people who have sorus, loneliness, broken homes, divorce, neglect, depression, anxiety, addiction, self-destructive behavior, in emptiness, low selfworth, confusion. Let me make it clear. Depression today as compared to 40 years ago is tenfold. There's 10 times as much depression today as there was 40 years ago. Interesting. But not just that, the average age of a depressive incident back 40 years ago was about 30. The average age of a depressive incident today is about 15. That means the average depressed person will have a major depressive incident by the age of 15. But it's not just depression. By the way, how many United States of America suffer from major depressive episodes? Every year, the number is 21 million US adults. That's not counting the 15y olds. Only if you're 18 and above, 21 million people. How about anxiety? How about anxiety that doesn't let you get out of bed? You're nervous, you're afraid, I don't know why, but there's just an innocence. How about 40 million adults? The total US adults with mental illness is 58 million people, 22% of the US population. It's unprecedented. My daughters when they were considering what to do for a living, I told them go into mental health. Whatever you become, a therapist, psychologist, psychotherapy, it doesn't matter. You'll have an unending stream of people coming to your door because there are so many people suffering. So many people who are their life is intolerable not physically emotionally and psychologically. When I published the book stop surviving start living part of the deal was I had to go on book tour and one of my stops was and I spoke at many many yeshivas and many many seminaries and the book if you've read it if not I believe it's worth reading stop surviving start living is a description of why he hashem created us and to promote the book I said one schmoo that schmoo basically focused on one understanding hashem put us here for a few short years the reason why hashem created us is the world to come given Life settings here for one reason and one reason only, to challenge us, to allow us to grow. But we're like actors on a stage of life. When I'm done my job, they don't ask me how much money I had, how pretty I was, how much charisma I had. They asked me how much of me did I become. Every situation in life is just an opportunity, a challenge for growth. That was my message. And I said it in many yeshivas, many seminaries. In one seminary when I said this, a young woman, excuse me, a young woman raised her hand after and says, "Rabbi, I I hear what you're saying, but how could I apply it to my life when I'm in such pain?" I said, "What do you mean?" She said, "My life is so difficult. I'm suffering so much. How could I apply those concepts?" I said, "Maybe we'll talk after. This doesn't sound like something we should be discussing after everyone." Okay. The next young woman who raised her hand, "Rabbi, I hear what you're saying, but I'm in such pain. How do I Maybe we'll talk after." The next one, the same question. 40 out of 60 girls had that question. I'm living in such pain that how do I apply these concepts to my life? My friends, imagine it's and we're speaking to a room of Holocaust survivors. These are people who watch the slaughter of their towns, their families, their children, their wives, whoever. And we have to give them both. It's hard, but you got to continue. You got to just go on. Hashem will help. That's what it felt like. But the problem was these were all young women, well-fed, finely dressed. Someone was paying the $25,000 a year seminary tuition, but the experience of their life was anything but pleasant. I was speaking in a girl's camp one Shabas and a sweet innocent 13-year-old girl comes over to me and says, "Are am I allowed to cut on chabas?" I said, "Cut?" I said, "What do you mean?" She said, "Well, I'm in so much pain. The only way I could alleviate the pain is by taking a razor blade and cutting myself. Am I allowed to do that on Shabas?" 13 years old, not from a troubled family, not with a troubled background, not from a divorce, a good kid from a good household, asking me that kind of question. And for the past bunch of years, I've somehow gotten into the marriage arena. And if I could share with you the amount of pain, anguish that couples have, but here's the observation. On a regular basis, I'll get a couple in my office and I'll speak to them for whatever time I speak to them. They leave. I walk out. I say to my wife, "They're a matchmade in heaven living in gehenn. They're so stubborn. They have such set ideas. They're not open to understanding. Not open to change. Her fault. His fault. I'd like to share with you. I believe that 80% of the divorce in our community shouldn't be. It's not like Hashem lost his touch in making matches. It's people lost the understanding what what it means to be a human being and the pain the torture of a husband and wife just fighting forget the divorce part just fighting the squibbles it's let's talk about one other issue called addiction in the United States of America there are quite a number of addicts 49 million people had a substance use disorder in the year 2022 not much different today but the stats aren't gathered that 49 million people. Okay. In the Jewish community, it's nowhere near that. But lamesa, we suffer acutely. If you'd like to know why we need Msiah, it's to alleviate the suffering because you understand what happens in one flash of reality. I get it. Hashem is right here. But that reality changes everything that I thought, everything that I experience. Oh my goodness. Every mitz I grow. Every aa damages me. Who would want to sin? I damage. I don't put my I don't drink bleach. I don't put my hand on fire. I've never sinned. But more than that, every mitzvah. Wow. Let's go. Would you like to know what it's like? Sheldon Adlesen was a philanthropist. He's the one who started the trips to Israel, the um birthright. He funded it. He was a rags to riches story. He's child of immigrants, grew up poor. He started his first business when he was 12. He sold that business, started another business, sold it, another one, sold it. Eventually started ComX, the computer show, and he built the Venetian in Las Vegas. And Forbes magazine writes that in 2003, his personal worth was $1.4 billion. Now, $1.4 billion, especially then, was a lot of money. It's $1,400 million. A lot of us could probably get by on a couple of million. We're talking 1,400 billion. Okay. Forbes magazine then says something interesting happened. In 2003, Sheldon Adlesen took the Sand Corporation public and between 2003 and 2004 his personal worth multiplied by 750% he was worth by the end of the year 20 billion. But Forbes magazines want you to understand what that type of growth means. They say it was the equivalent to earning a million dollar an hour. Now, Robosai, I want you to imagine for a minute the following. Imagine I'm earning $1 million an hour. Wow. I sit down to a leisurely lunch. A million dollars richer. Wow. I learn a dayomi. I stop. A million bucks more. I take a shabas, a little nap. $3 million richer when I wake up. Wow. Life is beautiful. Let's go. Every word of Torah is more precious than gold. We say those words now. When Msiah comes, we experience it. Precious gold, more precious than diamonds. Wow. Let's go. A mitzvah. I could grow. I could change. Let's go. The the joy, the happiness, the inner harmony is unimaginable. But one thing for sure, all of the pain, all of the self-inflicted torture, which the vast majority of it is exactly that, disappears completely gone. And one reason why we should beg Hashem for Msiah is just because the people amongst whom we live, if not ourselves, suffer acutely and all of that comes to an end. Yes, people will be more healthy. Yes, they'll live longer. But the key difference is knowing Hashem. And because I know Hashem, there's an inner peace and inner joy. My entire life existence is vastly different. And for that reason alone, it's worthy to do for Hashem. But there's another reason. Hashem created a world with such wisdom and care and forethought that we don't even recognize. Hashem created us for the world to come. But Hashem is the mate, the ultimate giver. And so many features in this world were created for one purpose, to make our temporary journey here more pleasurable. Sights, aromas, taste, colors. There are so many features that Hashem created for one purpose for us to enjoy. Hashem made an apple with an incredible crunch and a delicious flavor. The citrusy orange flavor of an orange, a banana food sights. We should be walking around high. There's the smoo that I try to say as often as I can. I look for new audiences regularly to say what I call the orange smoo where I go through the details of the pleasure that we should have naturally. And the reason I do it is because for the next week after I make a different braha. And when I bite into an apple, I actually bite into it and experience the flavor. When was the last time you bit into a plum and said, "Wow, I got to sit down. This is too intense." Well, let me just focus on this. Wow. When was the last time you even paid attention to a food you were eating? Oh, the first bite maybe. But the third bite, no. But you see, the world that Hashem created is not the world we live in. Shim wants us to enjoy our stay in the planet and we don't. But you know why we don't? We're distracted. There's busyiness, there's trouble, there's issues, there the noise, the confusion, the static. Who can actually concentrate on anything? We all have ADD. Forget the iPhone training me in that I have a I have a I another reason to beg Hashem for Mashia is because the world right now is broken. It's not working as it should. But there's a much bigger reason. About five years ago, I went through a difficult period in my life. When I was 19 years old, it was my first year in base medish and I was a very very focused, very ambitious young man and I set very lofty goals for myself. Muslim midos learning I was going to be the Torah personality and I was very disciplined and very focused and for many years I learned in yeshiva, I learned in k I was a rebi and I was extremely diligent. I learned musf at least a half hour often more every single day. And I woke up about five years ago and I said, "Uhoh, getting close to the end over here and I'm nowhere near anything that I dreamt I would be. I'm nowhere near that vision." But it's not just I'm nowhere near I'll never get there. There is no way on my current path that I'm going to be a a fraction of what I set out to be. And I had a little bit of a funk, a little bit of like a down. But then I read a little further in this derashem and this and he explains that because the nama cannot change the body. It's not fair. It's not fair because you work very hard in this world and nothing happens. Ask a man who has a temper and he just lost his job. His wife just divorced him and he says that's it. I got to I got to get this under control. Ask him how easy it is to change. It's not easy at all. Slow, tiny, tiny little steps. Why? Because the decision to change doesn't actualize a change. My nam is blocked. It's dampened. I can't change the neah. I'm stuck. And explains how that that's unfair. And so therefore, what Hashem does is there's a sort of what I call a shadow man. Every step that you take towards reaching perfection, there's a shadow that you're forming that gets bigger and bigger. You as you exist now did not change in iota but that shadow gets bigger every fight that you fight whether you win or you lose that you put an energy that shadow gets bigger it gets bigger and bigger and bigger and for me that was a great because I'm hoping I'm hoping that when my body's put in the ground I separate I will be that shadow man you see what Khal explains is when I leave this current existence when my body's put under I leave and whoo I fill in that shadow man. That which was the potential that I couldn't actualize because I was stuck in this body. I fill it in and I become exactly what I would have been had my nishama been able to effectuate change. And the reason why this is great consolation for me is because I hope maybe I'm a little bit bigger than I am now. But you understand what this Ramal teaches us. There should be a very real frustration inside of you. I was put on the planet for one purpose and one purpose only to perfect myself. And by golly, I can't do it. I cannot do it. I'm incapable. I work on anger. I work on on being patient. I work on humility. I work on I don't change. And there should be an inner frustration within you. This is horrible. I'm stuck. And if you ever grappled with any issue, forget addictions, any personal issue, you see it's so hard to make tiny tiny incremental changes. And when Msiah comes, all of that ceases to be. We jump to a higher level. And every change, okay, not quite before the sin, but almost there where I'm able to effectuate change and instantly I'm different. I grow. I see Hashem, I experience. Life is not just incredibly enjoyable. Life is not just incredibly happy but I'm able to change to grow. I'm able to reach my purpose in existence. All of us when we den we speak directly to Hashem. When a Jew appeals to me I say oh what could I do to help but I don't have to work on it. I feel it instinctively intuitively. My temper change it. Arrogance get rid of it. Laziness not in me. Uh-uh. Do you understand what life is going to be like? We will actually be the kind of man that Hashem wanted to create and life will be beautiful. Ernson and the Irish dash writes it's a we say every time Shab is benching when Hashem redeems us and brings us back back and we will understand that our existence in gulus was like a dream like a faint and faint dream explains of not just a But in that moment when we're excuse me when the gula happens we will look back onto our current existence and we'll understand that we were 160th alive. Just like a sleeping man is 160th of death. When we wake up when Mashiach comes we'll recognize that till then our existence we were 160th alive. to wake up and be alive and vibrant and let's go. And that certainly is a reason to beg Hashem to bring Mashiah. But there's more. The Bedawins attack the Drews. The Syrians join the Bedawins attacking the Jews. And they slaughter the Jews, man, woman, and child. And they post the videos online. Look at me. I'm a dead body. Look at me. I killed this one. I k man, women, innocent people. Israel recognizing that there's a minor holocaust happening, steps in and fights against the bedin. Don't kill innocent men, women, and children. And of course, the UN condemns Israel. Once again, Israel's aggressive. Once again, Israel is Do you understand the audacity? This is God's people, the Jewish people, the holy nation of Hashem himself. And you dare disparrage them. Every time an atheist says these words, "Well, a lucky roller of cosmic dice. It just happened." There should be a sense within you of outrage. Hashem is the creator of all. Hashem is the maintainer of all. That's my God. And you're disparaging him on a death. How dare you? How dare you say those words? How dare you blame Israel fighting the most moral war ever in existence? I know they're protecting innocent Gazins. I don't know how innocent they are, but they're fighting such a very careful, deliberate battle so as not to kill innocent supposedly gazins. And the amount of Jewish blood that's been spilled because of that, believe me, Israel could have just carpet bombed them and they' be gone. We lost 450im to this moment mostly because Israel wanted to go in and not kill wantingly civilians. And yet every single media outlet calls Israel aggressive. And you see the starving children in Gaza the horrible horrible way. And yet when you see the scenes what it's really happening there's abundance of food. The Gazins never had as much food as they have now. And but this is the point. There should be an outrage within me. How dare you speak about Hashem that way? How dare you speak about God's people that way? And there should be an inner sense of outrage. We say these words in Alenu. We wait. We wait for you to reveal your majesty and you to show the world you are the creator where everyone will be forced to say the words you are the creator. You are the one who maintains world. You are the king. If you want to know one other reason to d Mashia is because the absolute desecration of Hashem's name. It should bother us to an extent that's makes our blood boil and all of that ceases because every human being alive sees Hashem is the creator, the one who maintains physicality. The one who orchestrates every action under existence. But there's one more reason why we should beg Hashem to bring Mashiach. And I want you to imagine the most kindly giving loving human being you've ever met. unbridled just love giving kindness explains if you compare that to Hashem's loving givingness it's like take Abrau's giving nature his heart his love multiply it 10,000 10,000 10,000 times and it's not even a splinter of the unlimited love that Hashem has for any one of his creations is there a lot of suffering in our times oh yes there is the world broken because we really can't enjoy it because busy and distracted. Oh yes it is. And are we stuck where we are? Oh yes it is. But do you understand the pain of theina? If I don't feel it's because my heart is dead but God acutely feels it. And if you really want to understand one of the major reasons to bring one is because I am a zealot because I that's my god. You're embarrassing. You're debasing. You're disparaging. But more than that I understand the pain. I understand the shim's pain. Just do chuva. Just return. Come on. Please. Please. Then all the suffering stops. The addictions, the compulsions, anorexia, all of it stops. Just do chuva. The pain that hashem has is beyond our understanding. I think this rashi shares with us an eyeopening concept. We have an inner nature much like the shore has an inner nature just like the mule has an inner nature. We have an inner nature to do what's right, what's good, what's proper. Oh yes, there's another competing force. But if we'd listen to that voice and do what's right and good and proper, we'd reach perfection. We'd be very, very happy, very satisfied. And the vast majority of problems are because we don't listen to that voice. We take two steps forward, three steps back, one step forward, 10 steps back. We spin our wheels and we get into all kinds of trouble, all kinds of problems. And the reason why we need Msiah desperately is because not that the physical world changes. The physical world remains as it is. We'll be in mdash but mal day. Everyone will see Hashem right there. Everyone will desire to be close to Hashem. Everyone will desire just one thing only. And that changes everything. Gone is all of the suffering, all the emotional pain. Gone is the fact that I can't enjoy this world because I enjoy every physical pleasure. Gone is the being stuck. The cover of Hashem is great. The pain of Hashem is gone. And I want to close with one last observation. It has been 1,957 years since the second besa mikdesh was destroyed. That's a long time. 1,957 years. And at a certain point, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to say, "Well, that's a long time." Okay, I know an imam, but uh is he ever going to come and in my lifetime? So, let me share with you one observation rash and the gumar explains from a Torah perspective, we're obligated to blow 30 coloss. We blow the show for 30 times. Yet, that's not what we do in practice. The Raban added another set, another set, and a final set. We actually blow 100 kas 100 sounds and the garra says why why did why was that instituted and the gmorrah answers because a sutton to confuse the sultan you see on rashash we're being judged for our life the sutton theor is the one who's makatri he reads a ledger of what we've done wrong and why hashem should not grant us a good year the chauffeur blows he gets gets all shooken up he can't matri he can't complain at that moment and we get a pass. But here's what Toss explains. Why does the son get all in turmoil? Because he hears the chauffeur and he says, "Oh my goodness, that's Msiah. That's Mashiach for sure. That's the chauffeur. Hashem is going to blow a mighty mighty powerful blast when Mashia comes and then I'm dead. Hashem is out of business and this is the day." But then he realizes, "Wait, stop. Calm down. It's rash. There's a mitzvah say the Torah commands him. That's what the Jews are doing. And he's calm until he hears the next and another one for sure. It's what's your problem? The Sutton is a das niffra, a separate intellectual being wiser than us. How does he get so confused? You heard it last year, the year before. 100 colas. You got the deal, guy. What are you panicking for? Would you like to know the answer to this question? See, the Yates Sahara doesn't have a Yates. There's no blinders, no confusion, and he sees with absolute clarity. And he recognizes that it's so close at any given moment of the client. So would just do one step. Hashem would bring Mashiach. And every single year, he this is it. I'm done. I'm finished. That's an important lesson. How close is Msiah? Oh my goodness. In our day and age, it's hard to hard to not see it. May Hashem grant us that this be the last tishov we celebrate as a fast day. May the next one