Rabbi Yitzchok Oelbaum | CHAZAQ Tisha B'Av Marathon

Thank you Robbie for the warm words. Thank you to Shiman and Ruven for all you guys do for Israel. Um I like to say this every year but there's a lot of programs out there on tishab but we can't forget that the first one was kazak and that's really a very special thing. But not only are they first in the Tishaba programs, what they're doing in America to save the public school children are tremendous. And they're really, really, really shedding light all over the country. It's not just in Queens. And I was I was able to witness it. And Rabbi Rab, thank you for all you do on behalf of uh all the children that want to get closer. A tragedy indeed. There was somebody benching and as he says the words, he's overtaken with anguish and feeling and he takes that knife that was on the table and he stabs himself to death as he says those words. And as a result of this terrible incidental instituted that when it comes to benching, you can't have a knife on the table. The knife has to be removed from the table or cover it. And the question is obvious. What are the chances that such a tragedy will happen again? What are the chances? Probably zero. So if so, why say the is that when you benched, you can't have an eye on the table? What are the chance of happening again? And the truth is I believe that Kazal wanted to show us that there are yidden. There was a yet once upon a time that he felt the soar. He felt it so strong that when he said the words and he took that knife and he stabbed himself, that was the pain that he had. And you're right, it's not going to happen again. But says on your bench, you can't have a knife on the table to show us that there people actually feel the loss and it's real and it's strong. You know the ambassador tells us that after was destroyed there were people who said we're never going to eat meat again. Why? Because a meat was always represented with carbonas. If there's no carbon how could I eat meat and there were people who said also wine I'm not going to drink wine because wine had a if there's no I'm not going to drink wine. But that's what was they felt. They were connecting to it and they said no more wine and no more meat. Imagine when we see a piece of meat today. Everyone's happy to go wherever we go. Wall Street girl reserve cut. We're not even on that level to think of anything. No meat, no wine. But that was the pain. That was the pain that they had back then. So the shil is what can we do to try to feel that pain somewhat? We're sitting here a whole day. What could we do? We should ask ourselves, what about me? Am I fulfilling the says you can't have a knife to feel the pain? We're so far. So, I'd like to take a little bit today to try to feel some sort of pain that we could have on the day that we're all here sitting and saying kinnis and hearing and everything. Let's see what we could do a little bit as a team over here. You know, we all know we have a tomorrow, not just today. It really applies every day of the year. The three weeks is a time tishab is a time where we're supposed to feel it even stronger. But we have these days that we build up our energy to actually feel the pain even more every single day. And I'll agree it's difficult to feel the pain. I'll be the first one to say it. How are you supposed to feel the pain for something you never experience? We never experienced it. How are we supposed to feel it? I don't know what it is. And yet there's we're supposed to feel the pain and understand it. I don't know what it is. It's so foreign. What are we supposed to do? It's so distant from our hearts and from our minds. You know, maybe we could suggest a practical a practical answer possibly a workable idea. There's a famous story the gar tells in Sanraal. The garra tells us a story about a woman who lost a child and the woman was crying and crying and Gamil who was her neighbor lived close by Gamil he hears this woman crying and he also began to cry. However, he started to cry over the Kurban. And the Gomorrah says that when he heard the woman crying, he started to cry over the but he cried so much literally until his eyelashes fell out. And the question is, why was her crying so intensely? Why was he crying so intensely? And what was it about this woman that got him to cry? The Gamarra says he heard the woman crying and all of a sudden he starts to cry, but he was crying over the So what was it about this woman that got him to cry and why was he crying so intensely? Maybe we could say that Galia was pained by this very question. We're living in 2026. We all could ask these questions. Why are so many Jews suffering? Why are so many Jews crying? There's so many. Everybody knows what's going on. Who doesn't know anybody that's going through pain? Why is there a Yiddish? Why? Why do we hear all these tragedies every day? Another tragedy, another tragedy. Why do we hear of young children fighting for their lives and scumbing to illnesses? Why? And why do we hear a mother crying for the loss of her child if we know life is supposed to be that's what life supposed to be? The mother of children rejoice. What's all this pain? Why? And he showed the men says when Msiah comes there going to be different blessings. There not going to be a blessing of no more. And where you dab for you're not going to have that anymore. It's going to be replaced by the braha of just thanking Hashem and praising Hashem. That's what they're going to be replaced by. But right now, it's not that. It's supposed to be then our mouths will be full with happiness, our tongues with song. That is the way the world's supposed to be. So why are the crying? Why are we all crying? Why do so many people have problems if it's supposed to be? What is going on over here? What's the And the answer to all these questions, one answer is the reason for all that sorrows. That is the reason each tragedy is another expression is another manifestation of the that's why we have all these sorrows the tells us that from the day the migration is destroyed the day's curse gets worse every day than the previous day each day is more difficult says the gmorrah [snorts] and each day is more painful and every day we see new expressions of And understood that the child's passing away of the mother's crying is not the way of life it's supposed to be. He cried BECAUSE HE RECOGNIZED THERE'S ANOTHER to cry about a shakinder. Jewish kids are dying because of the and he heard the mother cry and SHE WAS A GOOD PERSON. WHAT'S going on? That's why he was crying until his eyelashes fell out. He understood it's not the way life's supposed to be. Rabbi say all the pains that we see everything the people around the mental illness everything in the world is all because of the everything is associated with that [snorts] there's a child born with born with cancer born out of the womb [snorts] and the doctor said it's very uncommon for a child to be born like this child born from the womb with cancer. What's going on over here? Why do we have such pain? Why do we have such suffering? What has hem done to us? And there too is one answer. Each Torah is another manifestation of the next day getting worse and worse. Why is the situation so dangerous? For four years, non-stop fighting What do our brothers living in have to fear for their lives? It's supposed to be perfection of beauty. Isn't it supposed to be the joy of all earth? Again, all because of the the is the thing is the reason for all our pain, for everything that we have to go through. Yes. The that cried about 2,000 years ago is constantly gaining new meaning and new painful expressions. What he cried about is getting new meaning. But we live in a comfortable America. We're no longer persecuted. So how can we feel anymore? We're missing our boy. But if you look at the pain of our brothers and if we look at the unfortunate pain among us who suffer from terrible Torus, we're able to have real empathy. That's something that could really really help us feel the saw Smith said over a story a number [snorts] of years ago. He says he had to be somebody a family who suffered a tragic loss of a young child and he says he's sitting there and he doesn't know what to say. happens to be one of the most uncomfortable things I think we have in you have to somebody sitting there you're sitting across you don't know what you could say what you can't say and you have the people next to you say very awkward things and make it even worse see that I'm smiling I'm talking about so he says he's sitting here by the base and he doesn't know what to say and then he says that gave him a thought the standard that we all say when everybody knows is that Hashem should comfort you among the rest of the mourers of now this line seems very very interesting you're here to pay respect to someone who's mourning and what do you tell them you mention Jerusalem it's a weird thing how's it showing you pain I'm here I'm here to show you respect and I tell you oh by the way I'm giving you comfort that the rest of the morning is a seal on you shal how's isn't it giving you comfort? It's a very very weird thing that we say. You know what the reason is? It's the greatest source of comfort because how many people are good people? They're not worthy of this pain. Why are they having all these Toras? YOU'RE TELLING THEM IT'S NOT YOU. IT'S BECAUSE OF THE YOU'RE A GOOD PERSON. Don't think you did something wrong because you're in so much pain. Don't think you did something wrong because you lost a child. Don't think you did something wrong cuz your problem with Don't think you did something wrong because you have issues with WHATEVER YOUR ISSUES ARE. DON'T YOU'RE A GOOD PERSON. IT'S BECAUSE OF the and that's why when you come to an that's what we end off with. We say and we mention that's the greatest source of comfort because we're comforting you. We're telling you you're a good person being that there's no there's no temple. There's no bish. That's why you're in this pain. You know, we find it hard to be for the mikdash. It's hard to visualize and it's hard to cry about the that your mo cried 2,000 years ago. But there's not one person in this room that can't cry about our own and how much we're missing and how much is Kalisol actually affected by the as we just went through and that's what the Gumar is teaching us. We can learn from Galileo's actions that this is the way to move for the B mikdash. You see someone in pain, you cry with them. You realize you know why they're in pain. It's because the and that's our way possibly for able to dig into our own nephesh our own. That's definely going to help us to feel some pain of the loss because every loss that we have we realize because there's no B mikdash. I want to tell you something. We're not only mourning this loss. There's a spiritual as well that Robbie and everybody could tell you. It's not only a physical tragedies. We're also mourning the spiritual tragedies as well. Barasha we know Torah is blossoming in America. Yeshivas are growing. Balabat are learning. But we also have to understand there's a other side. There's a different story. There's another story. How many people come Shabas you say Shabasimbased. Everybody says it about Shabasuda. WHO KEEPS SHABAS THE SON AND THE DAUGHTER WHILE THEIR OWN DAUGHTERS AND their own kids are on the streets on Shabbat AND THEY'RE NOT AT THE SHABAS table unfortunately. OR THERE'S A FAMILY MEMBER WHO'S NOT HERE BUT we're still saying that's also A THAT'S A TREMENDOUS TRAGEDY. THAT'S ALSO SOMETHING. Life's not supposed to be that way. IS SUPPOSED TO BE A LONG EXPRESSION OF I AM SICK WITH LOVE for and a person should feel the love of Hashem. So why do people have question in why why do we all have these difficult situations and the list of questions go on and on and on but the answer is that is the answer the answer is every time we see a child who doesn't want to learn we should cry how can this happen but it's not supposed to be this way it's not supposed to be this way but it is that way how do we understand that what's the reason we have to understand now I want to try to understand a little bit. Could we imagine what it was to be a year living during the times of the B mdash? What did it look like? The amuna that they had the excitement for tora for mitzvah that they had. So I want to tell you what the villagian once said. The villain once said that I could I am able to imagine what the rishim looked like. I could imagine what they look like. He said, but I can't fathom what a simple was like in the times of migdosh says means he said I could have fathom what rashi was like. He says but to fathom what aid looked like during the times of migdash it's impossible. HE SAID I CAN'T FATHOM what that is. Could you imagine a simple year was like in the times of mikdash even the goble to comprehend that it was beyond the comprehension of and that's what it was like living in the times of mikdash it was constantly seeing that hashem is the master and there is nothing but him if we could stop for a second and try to internalize those words he's the master and there's nothing else but him if we believe it with our whole hearts is able to make LIFE SO MUCH EASIER. WE'RE NOT IN CONTROL. LET GO. WE'RE NOT IN CONTROL. We're not in control. And the story goes related to the story. He was talking to Levvenstein. They once asked him how many Jews perished during the Holocaust. How many Jews perished? And all those people, if you ask them in the room, how many people perished? say six million people died in the holocaust and katkenstein says that's what people would say he says but I say that all of amusel perished in the holocaust he said so many survived but is that kalisro he says the holocaust affected an entire nation I'll give you affected everybody how much trauma is from the holocaust everyone has a parent who their parent was from the holocaust so they're affected by their parents so now you have a parent who's a child of THE HOLOCAUST THAT'S ALL PART OF DESTRUCTION THE AMOUNT OF TRAUMA, THE AMOUNT OF PAIN THAT IS THAT WE have in our nation doesn't exist anywhere else. He says not 6 MILLION JEWS DIED. ALL OF us died and we're all on the up and that's after hearing this rabbi said we could say the same thing with the how many Jews perished during and the answer is that all of were affected by we're all victims of the physical problems the health problems theo problems the PROBLEMS THEY'RE ALL PART of the problem they're all part of the all of that we're all affected by it we all perished and all has to do with the and maybe this is the solution that if we can mourn the actual that took place 2,000 years ago let's mourn over our personal let us cry that instead of living life with a deep connection to Hashem we feel so distant let's cry over that said something very interesting everyone knows what the ael Does anybody know here how many people actually did the ego? Anybody know? We got a whole nation right the golden calf. How many people actually did the ego? I want to tell you the answer. It's mind-blowing was 3,000 people. Because 3,000 people did a sin. God is ready is ready to wipe us out an entire nation. That's not even a half a percent that we were. There were 600,000 people cuz 3,000 people did the eagle. God was a was ready to destroy our nation. How you even understand that? And the Ramban tells us something fascinating. He said that although only a few people actually worshiped the eagle, many more were pleased with it and others simply stood by and did nothing. They didn't protest it. and they didn't try to stop the sinners and their indifference made them partially responsible. This teaches us a lesson that you can't always excuse yourself by saying, "I didn't do anything wrong. I was just quiet. I was just quiet." Very not American, by the way. Very not American. Very not American. And Adam once remarked, he said that indifference is the biggest killer. Indifference is the biggest killer. And that's what was the issue. 3,000 did it, but there was a lot more who didn't say anything. They kept THEIR MOUTH SHUT. THAT WAS THE PROBLEM. You see something, if it makes sense for you to say something, say something. Don't just stand back and say nothing as client. So, we have to do something about it. You got to do something about it. You got to get up and try. If you don't try, it's almost like you're implanting with them. You story goes with Rab Schwab. He said over a story, he says he was 20 years old and he traveled to Raden to go to the And takes off's hand and he tells he says you know today says back then 100 years ago he says so many bak are drowning and only through only through are they able to survive the bakar tells and he tells how fortunate are you that you're able to learn to you're able to stand so strong when living in this type of environment and turns to Ravw and he says says, "Are you a coyen?" Ash says, "No, I'm not a coin." Says, "Perhaps you know that I'm a Coyan." And said, "Yes, I know you're a Coen." And asked, he says, "Are you a Ley?" He says, "No, I'm not a Ley." And gives a and he says, "Oh, what a shame. You're not a C. You're not a Ley. BUT DO YOU KNOW WHY I'M A COEN? You know why you're not a Coen or a Ley?" says no. He says because of 3,000 YEARS AGO YOUR GRANDFATHER DIDN'T STAND UP WHEN cried out. My grandfather came through and you're didn't and that's why you're not a and that's why you're not a ley. And challenged he says it's going to come to a time in life where you're going to hear a A CRY OF YOU HAVE TO GET UP AND YOU HAVE TO SCREAM SAYS the at the time in the there were three groups there were few groups of people we had the sinners who actively participated in the vera and then there was ley who actually stood up for hashem and they were rewarded with avoid mikdash and then there were those that were silent bystanders who remained neutral. And the Torah teaches us that when you're neutral, when you're facing wrongdoing, that's a problem. You can't be neutral, you got to scream. And Shrab said, I had multiple times in life where I had an opportunity to stand up where there was where the Torah was burning. I could have been quiet. It was easier. But I remember the words of I'm out of I'm out of ley because that my was quiet but I'm not going to be quiet anymore. I'm going to open my mouth to do what I have to do. And we find the similar lesson in Mitraim. We know Py had three advisers Bum, Yro and Eve. Bum we know he was actively encouraging oppression. And what happened to him? He ultimately got destroyed. Israel opposed the decree and he was forced to leave and his descendants were actually to greatness. Eve was quiet. Eve was quiet and what happened? He was punished with terrible suffering. Eve, we didn't do anything. He was quiet. Was punished with terrible suffering. Once again, we see that silence carries out a consequence. So we have to remember throughout life there are moments when we know what is right there are moments when speaking up is very uncomfortable but there are moments when remaining silent seems easier but it's wrong I want to conclude with a quick story was traveling with the said this a few weeks ago but it's such a powerful story he made such a on me I want to share it again he was traveling to the on the There's a certain stop where other people wanted to get where people knew you're able to get on to travel on the train and go to see people knew the stop was wherever it was and hundreds of yidden came to see the they couldn't get on the train but even just through the window they wanted to see the through the window and they get to the stop there's tons of yidden over there and says I want you to go to the window people came to see you says I'm not going He says I don't want if I have on this world I'm going to take away from I don't want to lose I'm not going and tells the he says RABBI I HAVE TWO REASONS WHY you should go he says hundreds of came to see you to get IS IT NOT TO LOSE a little bit to give hundreds of AND SAID YES YOU'RE RIGHT IT'S I DON'T HAVE TO REASON NUMBER REASON NUMBER ONE IS ENOUGH. Got up. He went to the window. People [clears throat] saw him and they got how beautiful. How beautiful. And as I was driving here, my friend, one of the uh the biggest today, he told me something interesting which if you think about it, it's simple, but sometimes you have to put it together for things to be simple. So he tells me he says you know when Jews fight together we get purum when you don't fight together you get a tishabove it's powerful it's posh but you don't think about it when Jews fight together when we're one we get a rabbis when we're not together what do we get we get a tish that's avoid that's to be together that's avoid and I conclude used to say that at the end of we don't leave YT we know we take Yv with us and the lessons that we internalize with we're supposed to take it with us and that's what is we take the Y with us for the rest of the year and he says the same thing can be said regarding tishab he says after tishabove and after the three weeks we're feeling this loss he says and we in we're doing is we're increasing the feeling of the loss he says you have to have that last entire year He said you have to have it last entire year. If you do that, if you're able to take the three weeks, the nine days and tish with us, that feeling of loss of able to have it entire year says Roya Bisimosa.