Rabbi Shmuel Reichman Tefillah: Why Daven if Hashem Already Knows What We Want?

so i want to start off by thanking hazak and 2010 for putting together this year and we're at the perfect time in the year to really delve deeply into the nature and purpose of tefila because this is something we do every single day many times a day and something which people struggle with people who aren't philosophically inclined struggle with just tapping into in a deeper way like connecting to and making it meaningful and people who are philosophically inclined they have so many questions about why do we darwin and obviously the title is why do we dive and if hashem already knows what we want but we're gonna build many many deep questions about the real purpose and nature of trilo and i mean first and foremost it's important to say that davoning is a mitzvah even though we have a mushroom's famous between the rambam and the ramban whether old filos a mitzvah only based surah when there's something you know a tragedy or something difficult is happening is that the only time where it feels in mitzvah we hold the tv as a mitzvah and it's a mitzvah which is i would say very often misunderstood and there are so many layers to the depth of field i want to start with the story the stories of a man who visits a community and he goes to the show that his host davin's at and he cannot believe his eyes because the moment he walks into the shul everyone is talking and it's not even like whispering it's like talking like everyone's just talking and he can't believe he's never i mean he's been to schools where people haven't he's been the shows where they have kiddush club has been the shows where just you know some people talk in the back but he has never seen anything like this and after chavez he leaves and he just thinks himself like what in the world happened like i've never seen what i've never seen anything like that it's a whole different category of talking and years go by forgets about it he's invited back to that that host for shabbos a couple years later and he goes and he's thinking like whoa this is going to be interesting like i wonder how bad it is now and he goes to shul with his host and he can't believe it and hear a pin drop like no one's talking no one and like at one point and julie heard like a whisper and like he heard ten people say shh and he's like what is going on i've never seen such a an extreme shift in the decorum and the the level of talking in a show my entire life so after schuler they're walking back and he goes to his house and says listen uh you know don't mind me asking i hope you don't mind me asking but what in the world is going on the last time i came everyone was talking and now no one's talking so so smile at him and say okay i'll tell you what happened basically for years as you saw when you came as you saw firsthand people talk in our show and it's it got pretty bad and it got to the point where this is just the way it was and a couple years ago a couple machas a couple people in the shul got together and said you know it's time to go to the next level in our shul we're going to invest 10 million dollars we're going to have a whole new building we're going to hire a new rabbi we're going to you know take our school to the next level and everyone was there was a huge campaign and we collected the money it was very exciting and we're about to we finished building and we're about to start this new uh stage of our community of our kahila and we suddenly realized we realized that we had spent so much money and time building our shul but we didn't know what davening was about we know why we'd have on what the purpose of daffeng is so we started learning about it and the rabbi who we hired we asked him if he'd be willing to give us some sheer among the the purpose of fila and we devoted a lot of time and energy to really delving into fila and we started realizing like oh my gosh there's going to be no talking in our shul so when we reopen the shul we meet everyone who wants to be member virtual sign a contract that they wouldn't talk and if you want to be part of our fool now you can't talk and this story is obviously powerful because it shows that once you start devoting time and energy towards what the purpose feel is you start to view it in a completely different lens you have a whole different paradigm a whole different perspective of how you perceive tfila and so what i want to do today is i want to delve into the real nature of i want to delve into the question of what is fila really about and i want to pose a couple fundamental questions and these questions many of them are friends in the mahara you can actually look them up for yourself it's sending tv not all of them are in the morel you find them mention these also mention these but these are the questions which hopefully will help open up the topic of trilo and the first and the question i really want to build as our framework is there seems to be a lot more to feel than we think or at least that we assume because we assume to feel is asking hashem for things but the the gemara says the hasidim and now we're not talking about the branch of khasijus we're talking about the ancient hasidim in the times of ghazal the says they would spend three hours in every single villa it would spend an hour preparing it's been an hour during villa and they would spend an hour afterwards and they would do this three times a day that means nine hours of their day was devoted towards fila and these people were obviously busy they were focused on learning and growing and they spent so much time on field the question is why and what were they doing what was the purpose you know you spent an hour preparing it's been an hour coming down what is going on here what is what is the purpose of each one of those hours and the next question is why do we ask hashem for so many things so obviously it's important and we can maybe talk about this and it's important to personalize to you to ask hashem for your own bakashas to say task hashem for what's going on in your life and to make chila personal meaning we have an objective framework of fila especially from an asteroid you don't change any of the brachas but you can add in your personal makashas into the trilo to make the the experience genuine real and personal but even that we have to take a step back and say what in the world are we doing we're asking hashem for so many things why especially because what is fila is replacing the carbonus carbanos were in avonda they were us so to speak giving ourselves giving an aspect of ourselves giving aspect of our ownership our property our we're not going to get into all the details but we're giving an aspect of ourselves to al-qaeda who's sacrificing an aspect of ourselves for hashem and nowadays we david is supposed to sacrificing the aspect of ourselves for hashem we asked hashem for for so many things and the ramban especially when it comes to this ali says that when it comes to couples you have to actually imagine that you deserve to be on the mizbeh and hashem is allowing the the the the carbon the animal to so to speak be the kind to fulfill that requirement of you being on the mizbeh but it's a genuine wound that we're giving ourselves to we're saying that you know i'm i'm devoting myself to hashem and nowadays when we have artfila we're asking hashem for things it seems to be it should really trouble you at least at first glance that almost all of our field of focus is on bakashas are the things that we're asking hashem for and we're just used to this but if you think about it fundamentally that shouldn't be what feel is about if if we think of it as especially with the saliva so what's going on here and to put it a little more bluntly the the develop this idea of four levels of chakras so when we have it's the realm of doing practical things and then you have sukita zimra that's the realm of bria that's it's a it's a form of song which is a higher level a higher state of consciousness a higher form of voda then you have krishna which is the realm of yazir which is really connecting it's developing and connecting to the oneness of reality the oneness of and then we have schmonastery which is and that's you have to think of it as if you're mamish talking to gosh himself during godzilla's during schweinsteiger during talking takashbar himself which will get into the different kavanaugh's rambam says that you have to have kavanagh you have to know that you're standing in front of a kashmir that's the most important covenant to have directions right so during that kavanagh during an asteroid during that realm of vatsilos where you're connecting to really being a friend of akash baruch who we're going to ask hashem for things it's like says it should be an experience which transcends the body it should be this mind-blowing awesome like oh awesome experience and we're asking hashem for things so we're so used to it that it might not trouble you but if you're thinking from scratch in terms of building what truman esther should be what this this time period of a voter should be you wouldn't think it should be asking hashem for things so we need to really we need to delve deeper into what this bakasha what this this time of request is because we should be asking what we can do for hashem not what hashem can do for us and you can give an answer which is kind of dulca and say no hashem just loves it so much when we talk to him that and when we build a relationship with him that even though we're asking for things he still loves it but that's not an ideal answer that doesn't you know that's that's nice you know would you would someone accept that answer maybe but more fundamentally you'd think that that's not it's still not a nevoda it's still not it's the at least at the very least it sounds bad you have it so the question is what's with all the because why do we ask hashem for so many things but to take the next step even if we do ask hashem for things and for we're going to have to find a way of making that make sense i mean even if it doesn't make sense for us to ask hashem for things doesn't hashem already know what we want hashtag is perfect hashem knows everything knows beyond time he knows everything knows what happened what's going on and what will happen nothing new we can't share anything new with hashem we don't need them like hashem just so you know i know you're busy but this is what i want no hashem's not busy hashem is you know knows everything is within all things and is beyond all things hashem doesn't need us telling him what we want so why are we spending so much time saying hey hashem like i just want you know that i need this and i want this and can you please do this for me do we really think hashem doesn't already know and if hashem already does know then why are we asking why would he want us to ask him for things i mean put it very simply it seems almost disrespectful right you don't it's it's like if someone knows something and you go and you try reminding him and he's like i already know this and you know i already know this like why are you telling me it seems a little disrespectful but there's an even more i would say you can either say troublesome or or or just like a deeper form of this question which is of course hashem already knows what we want but even more so hashem wouldn't hashem always do what's best for us and the morale says this explicitly if you want to look it up and say that until the peric base he says that hashem only does what's good and if hashem knows what's good for us then why would we ask because of course he would do it for us it's almost like if it's not good for us of course he's not going to do it for us if it's good for us because hashem loves us who is our mother but he's also our our father he he has that form of who created the world to give to us to give the ultimate good which is a connection with him in the deepest way possible as the ma as the ram khal discusses in many places hashem so if akash pakha wants to do the ultimate good for us then why would we need to ask him to do what's good for us of course he's going to do what's good for us it's like if a child wants an electric saw and he's five years old the parent's going to say no not because i'm trying to withhold for my child what my child wants because that's not good for you it's going to hurt you if a child is three years old he says i want that really sharp shard of glass the parent's gonna say no because the parent loves the child and if the child let's say doesn't ask and let's say it's a baby you know if the child doesn't ask for food the mom's not going to give the bi the baby food of course the mom's going to give the baby food and if the the child it's the middle of winter and it's freezing cold and the child doesn't ask for a sweater the mother and father is not going to give the child a sweater so of course hashem's going to do what's best for us because he loves us so why would we need to ask right think about that hashem should do what's best for us regardless of whether or not we ask for it so why is asking hashem why is fila so important number five and this is perhaps the most fundamental question which we are going to have to really delve deeply into is how can we even fathom the idea of changing hashem's mind right so much of fila is trying to convince hashem to give us what we want and what i mean we have to remember who's perfect so if we're not supposed to get it we're not going to get it if we're supposed to get it we're going to get it and if we're supposed to get it then we should get it even without asking if we're not supposed to get it we shouldn't get it if we do ask so what is this idea of like governing so hard for something is if we can change how kashmir whose mind because hashem is perfect when do you change your mind you change your mind when you receive new data new information so for example let's say you were going to go to the restaurant and you find out the restaurant is not kosher up now i'm not going to the restaurant i was going to go to the library then i found out the library is closed now i'm not going to the library but you don't change your mind if you don't get new information so the fact that is going to change his mind because we're asking doesn't make any sense i mean you can you can literally think of it like do we really think i feel that we're giving hashem new information it's like you know i wasn't gonna give you that and i decide not to give you that but after that real beautiful presentation you know i think i'm gonna change my mind it's like what in the world do we think we're doing do we think we can change hashem's mind that's the ultimate disrespect to karjo's greatness so we have to understand what we're trying to do when we darven so hard for things and when we make bakashas and while we really ask hashem for anything because we can't change hashem so it doesn't really make much sense what are we trying to do what's the point of davening and i'll leave you off of one last question it's a little bit of a bonus question we'll get back to it hopefully at the very end but there's a strange gemara brah host of zainab and aleph that says that hashem himself davince there's nothing morgan says dash and puts on filling what that means really we need to give a whole shift for what that means but it says that himself davens now what is hashem davening for what does hashem want who says i'm happening too what does this mean like all of these questions should just help you see that fila requires a lot more delving into it's not just we dive in and we go do mitzvos that's we need to understand what the opening is all right we have mitzvos we have talmud toro we have military but we need to really understand the depth of tv and there's no one answer we're going to build a spectrum we're going to hopefully delve deeper into these ideas these ideas are so essential and there's so much here and i will be honest with you there's so much more than we can actually put into one chair we're going to go deep but as with everything in torah you're never going to fully fully cover a topic so we're going to obviously need to keep our eyes and ears open and really understand that as much as i'm going to lay down the scenes and the icker principles there's so much more than we can develop in this year so i want you to stay thirsty for more but i want to build a framework on the spectrum so you can start to really delve deeper into this powerful powerful topic and the first stage that i want to develop is the idea that develops in dera hashem in the fourth chapter where he develops this idea that phila among among the aspects of tula we're going to develop one of the most fundamental is that fila is about actualizing potential which means that kashmir has set up the world in a way that there is what you deserve there's what you can accomplish and what you can get and this taps into rosh hashanah where rosh hashanah is so to speak you are given your potential for the year but that doesn't mean you're going to get that it means what you could get you have to then actualize that potential so in the same the same way when you dive and you are bringing down the potential to the actual it's almost you can think of it as almost like a faucet where a large project will have the chef have the the energy have the potential of what you can receive in order to be macabre in order to receive you have to turn the faucet you have to bring down that potential so you're connecting yourself to hashem you're connecting your razon it's really obvious i lived for this villa is really devoted as well you're connecting your will to the kashmiris well you are connecting to the roots you are connecting to and you're bringing down that potential so tzfila is very much about saying that i know what i could accomplish but i need to then bring that into reality and that's what fila is so one of the most beautiful sources for this is the gemara khulin that's actually cooled by rashi it mentions this thera because in the first pair of braces it says in in paraguay of pasaki it means that the plants came forth but then later on in paraguay's pasture it says the plants hadn't surfaced yet so what's going on so a lot of these like here's all these steroids between peric alpha perhaps basically but the gemara says what's the solution solution is that the the plants began to grow but then stopped right below the surface so the famous answer how she develops this and morale develops this is that would not let the plants come forth until adam daven for it why because tefila is our we take part in bringing the potential into the actual we we take part in we're going to develop a lot of ideas around this but we connect to the process of bringing hashem's rats into reality so the morale talks about hashem wants us to be involved and the ability to work hard for to actualize the potential hashem's not going to do it we are in this world to become to actualize our potential to become the most ultimate best perfect versions of ourselves but we have to work for it we have to create it ourselves and that's the same thing for mitzvos what are mitzvahs so villain talks about this and a lot of us really go into the depth of this is that we are we are you know we we what is what is a mitzvah fastamos and we actualize that razor so hashem wants me the word says i wish this is someone wants and we actualize that will so the same thing for trilla is that we are connecting to hashem and bringing that potential into the actual and you can think of it almost like a piano it's like piano you don't play music you press a key and music comes from somewhere else so really we are doing that last step but the source is coming from somewhere else so when you do a mitzvah the original wrestling's from hashem we do a physical action and that's so to speak the revealed aspect but really it's having effect somewhere else and the effect is really coming because we are our actions are rooted somewhere else the much i like to give is it's like a puppeteer show where if you're controlling puppets you're holding the strings from the top and then what you do on top is manifest down below for people who are watching the puppets so we in this martial like we are the puppets but as opposed to in the puppeteer where only the person on top affect what happens below so only hashem would affect what happens down below we get to pull on the strings as well and affect the spiritual world as well so doing mitsos fila that's connecting to the the infinite connecting connecting to hashem's red sun and affecting it both ways so we ask freshman to you know so to speak pull on the strings and affect what's happening down below but our mitzvos are feeling some are able to affect the spiritual world as well so the first stage is understanding that it's about actualizing potential but another layer to this is about creating a makkam for hashem's bracha to manifest so for example there is a deep principle in jewish thought all right we exist within hashem so to speak but hashem's bracha can only manifest if we create a malcolm for it to manifest so for example you have a cup that cup if it's filled with lead you can't pour anything into it it's only if there's a malcolm if there's space can it fill so tzfila is also about creating a makkah for hashim's bracha to manifest which means negating your ego and allowing hashem to flow through you all right whenever things about you when you are the center of your universe there's no room for russia that's why you know someone who's about guys someone who gets angry all these about how can exist in that world because you have not created a muslim for hashem to exist you are the center of the universe but this is beautifully expressed in a story in in tanakh where elisha told the the poor woman who actually said it's avadya's wife she needed money she was you know she was very in debt because the value was in debt and they had spent all their money saving the naviem from from ahref and so what happens in that story elisha says bring me caleb and as much kill him as you'll bring me i'll pour the oil into what's the deep idea there i can give you bracha miraculous bracha but only if you have a makkum for that bracha to exist and the same principle applies to us it's that hashem has infinite as an infinite amount of shepherd so to speak but that transformative shaffer which is infinite can you can have as much as you've wanted but only if you create a malcolm for it so it's feeling is about creating a vacuum creating a space for to exist within you right now who wants us to create a space within ourselves for him to exist and that's the idea of becoming a receptacle there's something really beautiful here if you can remove your ego that that so to speak that opaque cloudiness that's really what naval is about it's about creating that clarity that that makes bahrain exist within your with it within you but then ashram can shine through it's like a window if the window is very dirty no light can shine through the more that you clear away the opaqueness and the dirt and the mud the more that hashem can shine through so speak it's it's fascinating the letters of the word kaur which means ugly also spells akur which is opaque because that opaqueness creates the most ugly reality because it blocks the true beauty the true true one is the true expression of akash baruch in the world and the real goal especially when it comes to our our goof is you want to create uh personally you want to create the means for your neshama your inner self to shine through your body but you want to create a space for you for akashbaraku to shine through your nashamah so it's like layers of self you want your inner self to express through your body but you want to cause to manifest through your inner self and you have to basically make sure that your body is a vehicle for your neshama but you want to make sure hashem is a vehicle for hashem there is many more layers to this and i just overly simplified it as much as i possibly could so that it makes sense without giving a whole share in this but it's a beautifully deep idea in terms of understanding how the layers of expression work i mean the zohar develops beautifully when it comes to the model he says that what was the model the mobile wasn't really supposed to be mample why the zora says that actually the mobile occurred at the time where akash brahu was trying to have an experience of mantora he was giving the torah to the world in my melatora which is a whole deep idea we're not going to go into right now but imam al-torah the the water is really equated with torah in the sense that was giving the world torah but the world was not ready for it and therefore as opposed to receiving the torah they experienced the marble which overflowed overwhelmed them and there was no receptacle there was no way for them to receive it it wasn't until klein's troll came to man torah came to our sinai that we were ready to be megabo right that's the deep idea we're not going to go into all the different aspects of why klyosha were were able to receive it but not seven is an aspect of it but the only way that you can receive the torah and receive or receive receive is if you create a malcolm receptacle because the same thing meaning what we experienced as ma'am torah the door hammable experienced as a marble it's really a question of whether you create the makom to receive it which is a beautiful beautiful idea so that's the first idea first idea of fila is that you have to actualize the potential and queen and malcolm to receive the bracha the quest barracuda the next stage is to recognize the power of tefila because many people if let's say you know the most common question is how can we bring meshiach so much of what i'll say is it's a peaceful yeshua we have to yearn for mashiach to come you can be asked the end of your life did you yearn for for many people ask they say how can i yearn [Music] are you serious so there's many many stages of answering that question and we're not going to be able to give one answer that includes all but one of the most important ideas when it comes to this question is recognizing that every generation fulfills a unique purpose the ram khal says that every year fulfills a unique purpose every generation fulfills a unique purpose and there's like there's three stages of of history the first two thousand years second two thousand years in the last three two thousand years and each year has its own purpose each generation has no purpose we are the visa we are the the heels of the very last stage and there's a midriff which actually beautifully expresses it says that it's not that any one person is supposed to bring mashiach it's not that like they feel it's now is on us the way it works and the actually says that at the end of time we'll realize how everything in all of history is bringing and there's two way there's two versions in ghazal whether hashem will bring because we couldn't or will bring but everyone agrees with the ideals for us to bring and their discusses how it's not just that moshe is going to come is that we have to actively bring it and when meshiach does come we'll see how every aspect of jewish history brought mashiach one step closer and the midterm says that you have to think of it as a barrel that needs to be filled with water and the moment it overflows with so the ovos they filled it up and the ghazali and then filled it up you know even more and they're gonna be killer filled up some more and every generation they fill up a little more and you know what generations ago didn't fill up as much as rabbi kevin but they still filled up and generation before us they filled up we're at the very end all we need is a couple more jobs and we don't know which drop is going to be that last drop so you're mitzvah you're feeling your act of huss it could be the last act that brings me so you're not supposed to be like the greatest person who ever lived and you're bringing you're just standing on the shoulders of giants and your job is to do that last small step so when you view life that way you're like oh my gosh every day like you can bring me like that's the most incredible thing and a mushroom once her which i think is a great marshall it's imagine if a person writes a check for 100 million dollars and then it flies into a room with a million blank checks so you know you spend days and days trying to filter through the checks and you've gone through let's say there's you know 500 000 checks in that room so you've gone through 495 000 checks and you still haven't found it there's 5 000 left so what do you say you say oh my gosh i've never 495 000 already checked and you find it it says hopeless i give up no you already are you you you're so close you get even more excited all you have is five thousand left so you have to have that that outlook where you're getting closer where as opposed to thinking like oh my gosh it still hasn't come you say like oh my gosh we're getting so close who knows if this could be the day who knows if this check is going to be their check you have to view it through the lens of yes you have the koach to do the unbelievable and when you view your feeling that way it becomes so empowering it becomes i would say it becomes exciting because you realize the power at villa but now before we go into the the deepest layer fila i want to develop a couple ideas of what fila does for us because fila as opposed to just being something that you go through the motions and you do tefila can be such a powerful part of our day on the first and most basic level the ram develops listen to hashem in the fourth chapter that tephila prevents you from becoming entangled in the physical world meaning it connects you to the spiritual and think about so many people we spend so much of our day eating and going to work for those who go to work and sleeping and doing things that are very basic very rude very you know potentially animal potentially physical that aren't connected to anything transcendent and in addition to learning torah and jurisdiction doing the field is an opportunity to to truly connect hashem in the deepest way to connect to yourself in the deepest way to connect to the spiritual deeper consciousness aspect of yourself it's a it's about the saliva it's a work on meditation it's a work on awareness and self-awareness and it can be the most transformative part of your day in addition to that uh number two is that fila helps you build a relationship with hashem it helps you realize that everything comes from i mean think about it when you're asking hashem for the things in your life that's you recognizing that hashem is the source of the bracha in your life you don't go into uh you know you don't really go into a fruit shop and ask for a pair of socks right because that's not where you go to get sunks when you go to hashem for the things you're showing this is where the things come from it's like if you go to your boss you're asking for raises like because this is where i can get a raise from so if you go to hashem and ask him for things you're saying this is the source in the core of everything in my life and that's so important because so much of life is it's an avodah of hakura right karasatov is recognizing where good comes from and when you dive and you're recognizing that all the brach in your life comes from hashem and when you realize that you start to live a life rooted in a higher reality because so much of life is building a recognition of where things come from you learn to suggest it's about building a framework understanding where the underlying principles are and how the the the pratim and the practical details and the allah stem from those underlying principles you want to train your mind to recognize where things come from keep it teaches you that you come from someone beyond you then you trace yourself up oh so where did they come from oh what are they thinking from where does other come from you get back to hashem so much of life is building haqqara building recognition sourcing things back to their root sourcing ideas back to their root ideas those ideas back to more fundamental core root ideas you want to learn to trace things in life back to their source and when you dive and you are recognizing hashem as the source of everything in your life and there's a beautiful concept that torah is hashem speaking to us and phila is us speaking to hashem and the idea the idea don't worry i mean beforehand the idea is that you want to learn how to trace everything in your life back to hashem and when you talk to hashem you're talking to your source if khaime brisk talks about he says beautifully one of the most famous khakirs of is he says there's two types of kabana he makes a deal in the rambam why because the rambam says in one place that kavanagh you have to have kavanaugh for the first prakrishman ashrae all right if death now and he says really you have to understand what the words mean you have to understand what the words that you're saying mean understand what the hate what the hebrew is and he says the bid the advent if you only have this kavanaugh for the first bracha it's okay what if you didn't have the first broccoli if you didn't have the first bracha you shouldn't repeat from an asteroid because you know this time you're probably going to forget it again so what's the most fundamental thing and the most fundamental thing is that you have to have kavanaugh for the first bracha that's really what you should have but in another place the rambam says that if you don't have kavanah it's as if you didn't dive in at all right he says he says if you have kevana it's as if you didn't daven at all so what one second in one place the rambo says that if you didn't have kavanagh it's you should really have it for for the hospitality but if you have it for those pronouns at least for the first if you have the first barakah you shouldn't repeat from this way another place it says if you didn't have kavanagh there's two types of gohan the first is translation of the words that you have to have at least for the first barakah but the type of kannada that you have to have for all of davanan especially when ashrae is the knowledge and the realization that you are standing you are standing before hashem you're saying you're staying in front of your creator now when you have that kavanagh that means that at least three times a day you are not only sourcing yourself back to hashem but you're having the experience of standing in front of that talking to hashem that's a beautiful thing to have that's a beautiful thing to have the core aspect of tefila is building that relationship it's understanding where things come from and it's really standing in front of akash baruch and talking and talking in a deep meditative way and another layer of this is that part of part of phila is wanting to build a oneness a kesha of oneness a relationship of oneness with deeply wanting to connect with hashem and wanting everything that hashem gives you all the bracha from hashem wanting that to come from hashem remission shapira explains beautifully he actually does this and it's introduction of rook shaylav he says the correct way to dominate hashem is like a woman has a toshuka a woman has a craving for for her husband to give her something meaning what meaning there are two ways to desire something one is i just want that thing i need it i want it another is i want that but i want it to come from you so for example you you buy your wife or your husband buys you flowers roses and air of shabbos why does why is she wanted it's gonna die in a week you know it's it's not worth much she can't eat it why does she want the flowers she wants the flowers because she wants the presents that act of devotion she wants the love to come from her husband if you get a knock on the door of shabbos and it says you have been randomly chosen by our database to receive this gift of 12 flowers have a good day does that 12 flowers mean anything to you is that a dozen flowers that doesn't roses mean anything no but when the husband gives it it's that act of love it's the fact that i wanted to come from you i want in terms of building the relationship and when we want things from hashem of course many things we ask hashem for we actually need or at least we think we need but on a deeper level we need to want it to come from how shall we don't just want it say okay thank you i got it that we wanted to come from hashem we want to build the relationship with us we want to recognize everything in our life is coming from hashem we want to build a life centered around our relationship with hashem so every every aspect of brah in our lives we get to say thank you tasha and we get to have every aspect of our life involved in the relationship with hashem that's unbelievable that is unbelievable the next aspect i would say the third thing so so far we we've built so far two things number one is we want to connect ourselves to a spiritual aspect of ourselves as opposed to being invest only in the physical number two we want to build a relationship with hashem number three is we want to build a more empowering identity i mean so many people they don't know who they are they've never chosen an identity they don't know that they are capable or destined for greatness they don't know that they are capable of being healthy of talking in torah talking in depth seeing the world in a deeper way of you know really living a an extraordinary life when we dive in we tap into that identity we tap into identity when we say that you know like abraham like it's like we're talking about our forefathers we are branding ourselves that is our identity we come from greatness and we are destined for greatness and that is that is amazing when you can elevate your identity you remind yourself that this is this this is genetics physical and spiritual genetics i come from greatness and i am going to continue that legacy i am destined for greatness because we're reminding ourselves what we can and should and must become and on the next level this is the idea of bringing our tv back into our day and and that's the idea we mentioned the hasidim who spent an hour going up an hour definitely hour coming down what's the hour going up the hour going up is is is a focus on meditating and what are we about to engage in who are we about to spend our time talking to it's making sure that you have the kavanagh of standing in front of now none of us can spend an hour but you should still spend some time preparing but the feeling itself requires such kavanah and that's the hour during to feel but what's the hour afterwards it's taking everything that you just accomplished and it's bringing it back with you our job isn't to have a momentary experience of standing in front of akash buruku and then go through our day just you know next no it's supposed to be this continuous experience where you ride high and you bring it with you into the next stage of your day and you start chakras you start off your day you you prime yourself this is what my day's going to be you check in you you know reconnect to that during marv you sort of speak it's the cl the book end where you basically say this is what my day was and i'm really bringing it to a close but then you bring it into that next stage of your night it's about creating oneness within your day and the last thing the number four is for you to realize what's important to you i mean think about that what are you doing for what are you asking hashem for you can tell so much about who you are based on what you're doing for are you davning for a new car and a new house and for this to go well or are you doffening you know not not downplaying the significance and importance of asking a chimp for things for things things are are great they're an aspect but what are you davening for what is your life about what are you striving for are you striving to be able to understand torah to be able to enjoy and love torah to remember the tour you learn to be able to concentrate when you learn for the torah to penetrate you to change you to transform you for you to become a walking living breathing safer torah are you dying to fall in love with hashem to work on your middles to become the most extraordinary version of yourself what are you davening for because when you start davening for greater things it reveals who you are and what you want to be and this is this should be a constantly evolving process you should always be be delving deeper into yourself to get more in touch with who you are and who you know you are capable of becoming and to constantly david for higher and higher levels of tapping into yourself but now i want to take this a step deeper i want to delve into such an incredible question which is how can we change hashem's mind remember we asked the question how can we change hashem already knows what we want hashem will obviously give us what's best for us and even in terms of potential like how can we ask hashem for something if we're not supposed to get it if we're not supposed to get it we're not supposed to get if we're supposed to get it and if as long as we just dive we're going to get it but very often we say like i know you you think i shouldn't get this hashem but no i really i i think i should get it i want to get it can you please give it to me asha how can we change hashem's mind so there's a it's an unbelievably deep idea many many of the rishonim nakhon discussed this if you want to look it up for yourself you can find it in the manbios of albo if cook talks about it a lot of other uh i wanna talk about this but the best way to frame it is understanding the concept of field itself the hit bella what do you notice about that word le hit pale tadavan so tifila literally means judgment comes from that word that means judgment but it's very strange because you can only say legit balel in a reflexive tense right there are seven forms of tense in the hebrew language and the seventh is which is where a person does the thing to themselves so for example love means means to dress yourself so you can't say to you can't say oh to davin and to dive into yourself the word davening is which literally means to judge yourself to daven at yourself to yourself within yourself it's something being done to the self and the question is what is going on here what does that mean and here's the deep idea what is what is the root of fields feel is not asking hashem to change his mind thila is an avodah within ourselves where we try to change ourselves it's a judging of oneself is is a deep exploration within ourselves of yearning to become someone more it is trying to change who we are from where we are to where we know we're supposed to be from who we are to who we know we want to become and it means delving into the depth of the self to find a deeper layer of self in becoming that self it is a changing of the self so we don't ask hashem to you know can you please give me this because i want you to change your mind we say can you please give me this and i'm going to change myself into someone else so that i can get it now what does this mean i'll just share one one very cool idea the person in front of the shul why is it called a vision a visionary is the leader of this journey he stands in front and he is so speak he leads this this experiential practice of visionary thinking and wanting he leads the seabor in the striving for a higher level of self which is powerful it's like hazon it's like a navi was called a seer visionary but what is this idea of changing the self changing the self means changing what you want changing your return your red zone is your root we've talked about those times before your ratsun is your very root of self and we're not changing hashem's mind we're changing our mind we're changing not what hashem wants we're changing what we want we're changing our root and this is really if you look at the circle i can also i told you that my beach revisit albo others it's mo it's through the process of tefillah you are changing yourself because when it comes to chuva well what's the idea of teshuva especially coming to rosh hashanah teshuva is the idea that i know that i did something wrong i sinned and i know that right now the the the the address for that sin is me but i'm going to return to my true self i'm going to become someone more someone else so that the address of that sin is no longer me it's who i used to be i'm changing who i am into who i'm supposed to be so that what i did is no longer attached to me and we're not going to go into the very deep question which is okay there's two aspects of every avira there's what you did that's the damage to the spiritual world so to speak and then there's the relationship with hashem so you can repair the relationship with hashem and becomes someone more who's more connected to hashem but can you repair the damage that's a very deep question which we're not going to go it's a gemara that talks about this is it's a whole fascinating suggest in a deep play and deep i'll just share one idea gemara says that what was supposed to happen was supposed to happen you don't have to be attached to that so that avira and we can't get into all the depth behind that but whatever happened was supposed to happen you don't need to be attached to what happened so you're saying that i don't want to be connected i regret that i am remorseful for that i want to be someone else i know that i can't fix what happened because i can't change the past but i can change my connection to the past so i'm going to be someone who is so much more than what happened that i'm no longer connected to it which is the a very deep aspect of chuva is changing who you are changing who you want changing that if i was in that position i would no longer do it because i'm no longer that type of person and therefore i'm no longer connected to that myself so if if sometimes i feel bad sharing an idea which requires about 20 minutes of proper explanation but for those who just want the nugget and either have the background to fully understand or are now curious and will now delve deeper into it for me i've i believe that's worth it so as opposed to just leaving it without explaining it at all i'll share the nugget which is the the 22nd explanation and you can either research it more yourself or if you have the background then you'll already appreciate it so what's the idea here the idea is number one when we going back to changing who you are changing what you want becoming someone more it could be that there was a time where you doffing for something and you weren't capable of receiving that project it wasn't appropriate for you you wouldn't have been able to succeed with it or it wasn't something that was really right for you but once you show hashem that you are responsible you are capable you are now a person who that is something that's good for of course the kaisper will give it to you it's like for example if a child wants an electric drill for his birthday and he's four parents not going to give it to him because he's going to do a lot more damage than than good it's not safe it's not healthy but once he matures and he shows his parents that you know i'm capable of being responsible with this of course his parents will give it to him it's like when do you allow your child to cross the tree the street when does a parent allow their child to cross the street it's when the child knows when not to cross the streets when the child's responsible it's not something what you like oh now you're going to get this as a special present it's purely based on are you capable of handling this it's like the father wants to give his child a bicycle but the child is spoiled so the father has the bicycle there he's just waiting for the child to mature and to be able to receive the bicycle in a way that's not damaging to the child it's the same thing for asham hashem is waiting for you to become the vessel to become the person capable of receiving this bracha and that's really what the nephilim explains he says he says what's the the real goal of trilla the goal of fear of changing who you are is saying that listen like if i'm down for 200 thousand dollars and then i'd have them for 200 another day like what's the difference it's like why are you diving for it are you dobbing for it because you want it because you're selfish and because you're just asking hashem to give you a kaching or are you dabbling for because you want to fulfill your purpose and you know with that money you won't have the stresses you'll be able to really focus on growing and becoming the person you're capable of becoming it's like why are you adopting the things you're dabbing to it's like you have to say that the real avodah of feel is wanting it for the right reasons wanting it so you can commit yourself to doing what you're supposed to be doing to become the person you're capable becoming the person you're destined to become to really be able to develop the co-host and the question is how does that happen because you can't fool hashem you can't say okay one day i want this for myself but today you know what i'm now a better person and i want it for the right reason so hashem come on give it to me come on come on come on i said i said the magic words i said i want it for you i said i want like you can't fool a so how do you change your rat son and we get to a real paradox because how can you change what you want it's like if all i want is to have a hundred thousand dollars two hundred thousand dollars right said two hundred thousand although i was five thousand dollars and i learned that no i have to warn for the right reasons so i convinced myself i want it for that reasons and i'm really trying to convince myself do you really think that i can change what i want can i really change what i want how do i do that now what is razon because in order to understand this topic we have to understand what the concept of razon is and ratson has the same gematria as mccor because your rats and your want is the source of who you are everything you do in your life what you think about what you talk about what you eat who you hang out with what you do for a living what you learn what you everything gets back to that root mccor that root source of who are you what's driving everything in your life and it's like changing what you want should be impossible because even saying i want to want right for example let's say i can't say i want i want a hundred two hundred thousand dollars to save your sean but i can say that listen i want to want it for you i want to want more a bigger opportunity to impact people for you i want to want more physical health for you even though i might not actually want it but i can say i want to want it but is that true because you don't say i want to want it if i don't want it i can't say i want to want to because i don't i still really want it for myself so even if i try to say i want to want it if i go back to the actual root want it's still for me so what's going on here how can i how can i change what i want and this is such a powerful question because it gets back to the ruts and throughout an exercise one of the most powerful exercises which when you ask yourself what do you want okay what do you want let's see why do you want that huh why do i want that because then i'll get this okay but why do you want that and do this you can pause it you can do it afterwards but what do i want that oh cause then i'll get this okay but why do you want that because i don't get this when you get to something which you want for no other reason that is your absolute root that's what you want and the talks about this in great depth and i'll tell you that everyone always comes to the same conclusion and i've heard i've done this with many many different people it's always like okay what i want i want a lot of money because then i'll be able to get whatever i want because then uh people will like me because then i'll or i'll be famous or because then i'll be able to really do whatever i want i'll have freedom because then i'll be happy why do you want to be happy if you do if you do this well and you're actually self-aware you'll always get back to happiness why do you want to be happy the answer is that sean created us with the underlying root of wanting to be happy but we always mistranslate happiness we say okay if i a lot of money i'll be happy if i'm famous i'll be happy if i have love i'll be happy if i have meaning in my life i'll be happy if i um i have a lot of friends i'll be happy if i you know have a lot of physical pleasure i'll be happy we try all these different things to solve the question of how i get happy but our underlying route is happiness because our underlying route is to become our truest selves it's to actualize all of our potential is to devote our lives to the truth is to live our ultimate true selves in this world of what our lifestyle and to live a life of purpose and truth when you live that type of life you are happy now you're not supposed to live that type of life in order to become happy but that is your root that when you are living in line with your true higher self you achieve happiness what is your underlying wrestling your underlying ratson is to live your ultimate self is to become your true self to live in aligned with the truth to devote your life to akash and to actualize your potential when you live such a life akash gives you this gift of happiness now everything else that you want is just a facade that's not who you really are that's not what you really want it's like the gemara anita says that when you were in the womb you learned khala tarakula you were showing your your unique purpose in life your your perfect ideal self and you lost that when you were born because you're supposed to come into this world as the villain explains you come into this world to become and actualize your ultimate self but your root is perfect your ultimate reaction is perfection is ms is you know the ultimate purest root so what is tfila tv is not saying hashem i know i don't want this for the right reasons but help me wanted for my reasons tefila is about getting more and more in touch with what you really want which is a perfect rat son which is a wretched which is perfectly aligned with akash barracuda's is a red zone that is so deeply pure and feel isn't changing your right zone it's tapping into your true razon when you die you're supposed to be giving up what you truly want what you think you truly want for what you actually want you might think that all you want is you know things for selfish reasons and i have to give that up for hashem but feel is really about tapping into your higher want your true self your higher yourself and that is a working on oneself is a changing of oneself it is changing of your inner russian and becoming your true self and that's actually if you want a beautiful halachic source for this the rambam rambam talks about when it comes to someone who refuses to give his wife a get you can actually you know force that person to give again until he says rosani which says you know i want to give this gift actually brings it down if you want to look up yourself surrounds us and help us gersh in parikh based he says that you can actually you know whack him and hurt him you know hit him physically you know just like until he says i want to give this guy to my wife and the question is and just a little background a person that refuses to give a gut to his wife is torturing his wife and is basically saying you can't get remarried even though i'm not going to be with you and it's you know nowadays i'm not going to get into it's a huge source of pain for the jewish community for people who refuse to give their wives to get and why this doesn't work nowadays it's very complicated we're not going against that right now but the rambam says that you can force a person to give a gift now the question is how can you force them in it's not just like okay you kind of go through the motions you have to have intent you have to really mean it has to be la you have to like you have to really mean i'm giving you this get and when it comes to what the roman pascal's he passes it comes to think about like the ramen passages that you can force the person and the question is like we know he doesn't really want it he might be saying he wants it but he's just saying wrote sani because which means i want to give this guy he's just saying that because he doesn't want you to hit him he doesn't really mean it the second you stop pending him he goes back to not wanting it so as ramos he says a beautiful answer he says your real inner watson is to serve hashem you're really narrative and and your true rap son is rosani your retroaction is i want to do this because this is what i'm supposed to be doing it's specifically in the context where you're supposed to be giving again so halal quickly we acknowledge and recognize your churatsu listening your true because at root wrestling is the rotation root you are connected to akashi you are perfect but you're in this world to become perfect you're in this world to connect your current wrestling to your true red sun to give up who you are for who you're supposed to be and that's the real avodah of trilla and this is the goal of it's not buddhist it's working on becoming who you're supposed to become and the biggest proof that fila is naval sarat son of changing iraq iratsun is that the gemara and bracha says the hashem dabbins now what's the contacts what is hashem daven for so what in the world could hashem daven for like hashem doesn't need anything hashem doesn't want like someone just having lack so kumar says what does hashem davon for says he defends to change his ratsun from din tarachman which comes up on rosh hashanah where we blow the show friend and kashbach who changes from the kisei of din to the ki rahman the throne of din to the throne of judgment the throne of din of strict harsh judgment to the throne of rahman which is mercy there's a whole other topic which is a beautifully deep topic of what that means but what does hashem damning for he's dabbling to change his internal red zone not that he has a lack but the concept of changing rat zone is the icker essence of tfila and that's why hashem davens to change his rats on from din because that is what the concept of tifila is is the concept of akira sarozon and changing it to something else the core of trilo is not asking for things the core of trilla is the concept of changing a redstone and that is the carbon what's the what the ramban says that when you get villa's replacement carbanos and kumaras was really what's the avodah what's the carbon in our tree law what are you sacrificing you're sacrificing your current self your current will your current rats on for a greater ration for a greater self for a greater version of yourself you are sacrificing who you currently are for who you're supposed to become wow that is unbelievable and that is if you really think about it this is a whole topic that we're not going to get into but that's why in order a challenge an obstacle something that's difficult in your life can force you to become someone that you're supposed to become that's why ordeals and challenges are so connected to fila because the ordeals inspire and push you to your limits they force you to become who you're supposed to become which gets into a lot of very beautiful ideas especially for the ima hosts who couldn't have children and they dominated and then were able to have children alive it was changing their name it's always connected to changing who you are changes what you're capable of becoming as in once you become who you're supposed to become you change it's like for example sarah and and people who were barren and then were able to have children they changed who they were a lot of it for for sarai was a change of name and to sarah it was the ordeal challenge you to uproot who you are to who you're supposed to become and that allows you to then have a different model so to speak are able to have a different you know be makable a new bracha and to have a child i mean we we talk about rosh hashanah how how sorry i didn't even have a base flood forget how she was barren she didn't have a womb and she dabbing and she's able to change who she was to be able to have children's a very very deep idea and i would say to really wrap up we can end with a couple of powerful powerful ideas number one is that tephila is an exercise of the rhetoric but really the inquiry aspect of fetal is asking for the things so that we can use it to fulfill our purpose to serve our college it's like navigation explains that we don't ask for things we ask for like a new car a new house we're asking for the things that we can use in order to be able to fulfill our purpose and that's really the increase in the feel is we want it for you hashem that's really changing what you who you are it's saying i want it for higher purposes i want wisdom to understand hashem i want help so i can you know fulfill my vote in this world i want money so i don't have to worry about that i can focus on what's important in life i want like why are you want why are you asking for the things you're asking for it's like once you elevate your ruts on once you elevate your bakasha you can elevate who you are and that's the real test of will and test of return is you want to be becoming a higher version of yourself through the tefillah it's not just that you become a higher version of yourself and that's when this feeling will now work it's that through the actual feeling itself that is the elevation of will it's not so well it's like when you're dabbling you want to work on that meditation you want to work on elevating your will and a big part of that is personalized and feel when you get to and try that's right like stop at the end of that right before you say and and focus and focus and ask hashem to to give you the bracha of wisdom give you the of being intelligent give you the remembering torah give them the for you for people you know like make it feel real and then i'll i don't know if i was going to share this with you i will share this with you it's a very very deep and and i'll tell you very strange story in torah where we have the story of hana especially comes up for shashana khanna davin's for a child but the gemara says something very strange it says he tilled varying a clappy mala that she thrust towards up at hashem like aggressively like in a very in a questionable manner and seemingly it seems the least for the party i heard feel was done in a way which may even seem to be inappropriate so we think of hana as a hero as someone who davened with all of her strength and she was able to have shmuel and she devoted she gave small to the the mishkan to alien and devoted shmuel's life to akash but the gemara says that she said to hashem and this is like you wouldn't be able to see this if this wasn't an actual kumara she said hashem i can force you to give me a child against your will i can so please don't make me do that instead give me a child according to your will now this is mind-blowing is literally telling hashem i can force your hand i can make you give me a child so don't make me do that give me a child through your own will now the basal lady asks like what in the world is this kumar talking about what is talking about how does this make any sense and he says something unbelievable he says there's the halacha if you don't know we're not going to go into all the details but it's basically a woman who is warned not to be in isolation with another man and by her husband her husband says don't be nicely from that man and then if she's found in isolation so basically what happens if the woman is in seclusion with this man who she was warned against so she can be subjected to a test and it's a very interesting test for jinx the the misota which is the water which has been mixed with dust of the basalmictus and the name of hashem has been erased because of it it's a very very interesting and very strange episode in allah and what happens is that if she's guilty if she's guilty then she dies a very painful death she has to drink this water but if she's innocent then she's blessed with a child and the deeper idea behind this i'm not going to go into right now but very you know at least what i think the deep idea behind this is that if a husband accuses her then he's basically through the accusation he sees her as someone who is who has betrayed her the relationship she's unfaithful at least he thinks that that's the whole point of the of the sota he thinks she's unfaithful because who knows what happens in that room and therefore the relationship has been destroyed by the very accusations so what happens is that after she's proved to be innocent she is blessed with a child to recreate the relationship because when you have a child the child will help them rebuild a relationship but the child is a reflection of their oneness it helps create the oneness you're committed to raising the child together the child itself is a reflection of your love and oneness what's kind of hashem she says i want a child and i need a child and i have such a deep desire to have a child and you create it here listen to this you created this deeply root desire within me because i want it for you i don't want this for me i want it for you and i want it so deeply i want in every fiber of my being every fibromyalgia has this flaming desire to serve your college brother and have a child for you and devote my child to you that i i'm going to do anything in my power to become a mother to have this child and to use it forever this hashem and why wasn't basically what she said she said i am going to create a scenario where you are going to you know i'm going to set up this situation with the sota where i'm going to be with a man secluding the room where i didn't have any do do anything inappropriate with him and then i'm going to be blessed with a child because of that because i'm going to be proven to be innocent she said i'm going to set this up i'm going to contrive associate situations to the alpha child i'm going to do this for you hashem i'm going to do this because i want it for you and that's the baseline levy says it says there's only mutter for khan to do this because she wanted it 100 percent for russia we're not going to get into the topic of a very smart it's a very similar discussion about you know when it would be muther and obviously we don't don't go and be doing this yourself but there are different situations where evil isma through esther uh was said to have done another virulent the daughters of different situations in in in ghazal where we talk about veyroshma which is where you do something that's mature only because it's 100 pure and what's the proof the proof is that the moment that shmuel was born she devoted him to the moment and she was finally getting the child child she's waiting and she's waiting her entire life for a child what happened the moment she had her child it's for you asha i don't want it for me i want it for you now this is a an extreme example and obviously it wasn't you have to remember this wasn't the price she paid for it wasn't like a sacrifice it's like this is why she wanted the child that's really important to realize also and obviously this is very complicated i was debating whether not to share this because this is such a difficult thing to wrap your mind around like hannah literally was going to challenge hashem if hashem didn't give her the child obviously hashem gave her her other child and she showed that she wanted it just for hashem but that was an extreme example but the idea is still so powerful and what did she name him she named him shmuel is what hashem hears hashem listen listen to her trilo and and if you think about what was you want to get back to what was her feeling what was she why did you need to ask hashem so deeply it didn't matter if even didn't give her the child she'd just do the whole the sota experiment so to speak and she'd have a child that way what was it feel her feel was this think about it right field is i know i need to have a child for you i know this is who i am this is my purpose and i'm going to have a child but i don't want to do it the social way because i'm going to have to erase your name hashem and then i'm going to have to force your hand like i don't want to do it that way i want to do it the right way i want to do it meaning if i erase hashem it's going to be somewhat sacrificing hashem's kavod and it's not the ideal way so i'm going to do it the ideal way which is by me davening with all my heart and foreign to give it to me that way but regardless i know that the right thing for me to do is to have this child but i want to do if there are reasons you know if you want to apply this in your life obviously not in this extreme way because i don't think any of us are on that level but when we dive in for things and we truly doubt them for them we can obviously be inspired to want them for the right reasons to devote our lives to truth to stop being self-focused and to recognize that we are part of something so much bigger than ourselves but we don't lose our identity when we devote ourselves to hashem we find our identity we find ourselves we became we become empowered and inspired and and passionate about living a life of purpose and truth and devoting all of our cocos all of our potential of our abilities to akash who declines to bringing an awareness and revelation of akash broho in this world and i'll i'll leave you with one last idea before we wrap up which is a very powerful idea which is that you should only dive in for something that you can live without only davin for something that you can also hear the answer no to because otherwise you're adopting for yourself otherwise you're just basically saying that i know what's best and you know hashem listen to me you have to get to the point of another where you're able to say i think this is what i'm supposed to have i think this is right for me i think this is best for me but if hashem if it's not i don't need it because then you're you're truly dominating to fulfill your purpose and you're not dabbling for some to somehow do what you want it's like there's a great story i heard of a six-year-old girl who whose doll broke and the mother for some reason thought this was a great opportunity because her daughter came in crying and my dog broke and she thought this great opportunity for new york for her to build a relationship with hashem so she goes you know why don't you ask kashan to fix it she was so proud of herself and teach her a lesson then she thought oh my gosh she's trying to get so scared what's going to happen she's going to daventasham nothing's going to happen and she's not gonna believe in hashem she's gonna you know be shattered she's gonna say feel it doesn't work hashem doesn't listen and she's like oh my gosh i shouldn't have done this and she's like what happens the daughter she goes into the room she starts like shackling and davening and saying all these beautiful feelings and comforts and who knows what you know children have the deepest feeling imaginable she comes back in and her mother is like scared she's like what did i do what's gonna happen and the girl her daughter seems fine and the mother says is everything okay what happened and the daughter looks a little sad and she says ema the the doll's not gonna get better so the mother says is everything okay are you okay with that and the door said yeah of course i dominate that shaman hashem said no no that's that's a beautiful story and that's obviously beautiful in terms of children have that imanopshita but you we need to have that same form of a moon i mean we need to be okay if hashem says no i mean the idea is that if you're able to hear the word no then if it's yes you can recognize it from hashem meaning if it's if you can't hear the word no that really just means like you're basically telling us what he has to do and you're deciding what the ms is but once you realize that hashem is going to do what's best for me regardless this goes back to what we talked about before then you can daven for because if the answer is no that's okay you just realize okay hashem who's better what's best for me and it also inspires me to continue working on myself in case in case it is best for me it's a reminder that number one this might not be best for me even if it is best for me i still need to become a person who this would be the best thing for so let's wrap up you know like trying to we we asked a lot of questions and we shared a lot of ideas a lot of content here and there's still so much more for us to share and there's obviously if we had more time we can just continue forever but to build a basic framework of what we discussed number one hashem knows exactly what we want right we're not informing hashem about what we want number two is we don't change hashem's mind right we can actualize the potential for what's already destined for us and we can change ourselves to become someone who's capable of receiving what we once were no long i mean even if we were once not fitting of receiving it even if we didn't have the potential we can create new potential by changing ourselves in addition to that we can also happen by actualizing and we can have in order to actualize the potential it's already established and the reason why we ask for so many things is number one the avodah element the sacrifice element is that we sacrifice who we are for who we know we're supposed to become and we ask for things not you know for our own selfish reasons but so that we can have the ability to accomplish our potential to devote our life towards our karish baraku we ask for the opportunity to have the things in our lives that will enable us to live a life of purpose and truth and i mean for me the most the most impactful inspiring ideas that are real evoda is sacrificing who we are for who we're supposed to be like when you understand the idea that should give you the chills that that you genuinely have to commit like a self-sacrifice you you have to give up who you are and so many of us struggle with sacrificing who we are for who we know we're supposed to become to give up the things that are just holding us back i mean if you wouldn't be self-aware and just think about what is in your life that you know if you gave it up if you stopped doing that if you just created something a little more helpful and more healthy in your life everything would start going the right direction but you just struggle with it because it's become so part of your life so part of your identity and you can't imagine life without it well that's what feel is it's it's the real immune feeling is walking into the unknown and saying i am giving up who i am because i'm going into the unknown on this journey just like avraham wasn't given a destination just said you know go to that version of yourself that you know you're supposed to become you don't know what's on the other side neither you're not supposed to know but you're giving up who you are for what you're supposed to become that's really what the feel is about it's this journey to our true selves to our higher selves and you know i would say the real bracha that we can give ourselves is that we should be zoha to an uh we should both be zoha and inspired to engage in truthfully in truth feel it and true of buddhism every single day three times i would say at least three times a day we tap into a higher version of ourselves we tap into a higher rest we tap into uh you know source ourselves back to kashbar who build our relationship with hashem and recognize that all the brock in our life comes from hashem and should we be in we should be inspired in the coming weeks in the coming months to continue to engage in higher and higher forms of avodah higher and higher forms of fila and to recognize that the ultimate thing that we can do for akash baruch is to raise our standards and raise our ratzon to engage in truthfilla and devote our lives to becoming the truest and greatest versions of ourselves