Rabbi Maor Bendel: Don't Just Count the Days, Make the Days Count

Good evening. Welcome everyone to tonight's very special shar. We're back after after Pesak and of course that uh we're trying to see we have that inspiration and the excitement from from from Pesak and of course we want to we're preparing for for Shv and we're getting ready the days of spirm and of course that we're not just going to count the days. Of course we have to count the days for um for the mitzvah but of course we have to make the days count. That's what we're all doing here tonight. And um there's we're actually giving out a a book tonight for free. Um there's they're on the front table over there. It's called Make Your Days Count. And that's what of course the the rabbi is going to speak about tonight about how we can uh utilize these holy days of spir. And um there's a line I actually read recently from the Katkarvi. He's a it's kind of a tongue twister. It says that if I am I and and you are you um then then uh then I am I and you and and you are you. But if I but but if if I am you and you are I then I am not I and you are not you. And then and of course that of course we're all trying to grow during these times. And and how is it? It's by making your days count. not only thinking about oursel but thinking about um of course you think of the 24,000 students of course um were passed away during this time because they didn't respect one another on their Madri on their level of course so that's what we're all here doing here tonight we thank Rabbi Bendell of course for joining us week in week out definitely gets uh the scar joining us all the way from Brooklyn thank for joining us I'm still trying to figure out if you are mine and find you >> I want to know who's who if you're I or if I'm you I is I are you me cuz I think I'm you why it's detailed out to be the holiday of freedom just one thing I uh wanted to focus in with you guys just before just something that came to me during the holiday and I think that it's something that I think it's something that we all in moments of our life struggle with I think it's something that every single one of us not in every department you Know I think that sometimes a lot of people make a mistake. I'm not just a side note now. So you make a mistake. They think that uh amuna is yes or no. It's like a switch. Either you have it or you don't. But they don't realize a person can have in one area of his life but another area of his life he doesn't have. For example, a person can have ama and at the end of the month he'll be okay financially. But when it comes to finding his zoo, he doesn't have or she doesn't have an possible or the other way around. So amuna is not a yes or no thing. It's not a switch that you turn on or off. It's something that is a spectrum. And sometimes even in one subject you can have a level ama but not complete ama. Right? I always love it when I tell a person to call me from something that they're going through and I tell them you have to have faith and they tell me rabbi have faith but was but the word but and I don't know if I ever said it over here but the word but and I just include you guys in the conversation I had one time a guy came to me rabbi I struggle with anger impatience so I told him okay it's a very bad thing you should know he tells me how do I get rid of I told him, "Fresh, do you have anger?" He goes, "Yeah, but start telling me reasons why sometimes it's okay to be angry." Starts telling me reasons why in this situation it worked out for him that he was impatient. I told him again, "Do you have anger?" "Yeah, but again with the but." A third time I told him, "Do you have anger?" And this time, don't say the word but. Because every time you say the word but you are excusing yourself from doing the work. Yes, but I do have an issue but sometime it's okay and therefore I don't have to fix it. I told him say the word yes I have a problem. So I looked at him a third time. I said to him do you have a problem with anger? He told me yes. He called me a week later. You guys just became famous. We'll see you guys on tour. We'll see you guys on to any time. Now you can tell your friends. By the way, I'm a Torah any time. You have a problem with angry. Yes. He calls me back a week later. He says, "Rabbi, I want you to know from that day, I cannot explain it. This last week has probably been the most patient week of my whole entire life." And I said, "You want to know why?" He says, "Why? Because you finally admitted you have a problem and now you are alert. You are aware. And when that problem arises, instead of giving yourself excuses, you actually work on it. And I think that when it comes to it's something that a lot of people struggle with in the world, they don't realize that 70% is not enough that a person who has food for today, he has what to eat today, but he's worried about tomorrow. It's only from a person who has not enough amuna. He's lacking faith. He didn't say he doesn't have. These are the words. They didn't say he doesn't have any. No, he has but it's not enough. And I think it's something that we all have to incorporate into our life. What real am I ever get worried? Real amuna doesn't mean I ever get scared. Real amuna doesn't mean I'm ever concerned. I know it's a very far-fetched to think how can I have a credit card bill especially after people know how it works after pes told me I have a I don't remember I think it was like $10,000 credit card bill after my wife called me she sends me the bill and it's like this is the bill and bingo $5,000 for a piece of gum can mois $3,000 for a chicken kyas can call me and I have to get shimura mata I don't know they call $84 a pound doesn't sound too on to me to be honest. Sour dough doesn't even cost that much. You go right now to the best bakery in town, you won't pay for a loaf of bread $84. Anyone paid any time in their life for bread $84? You probably were in Dubai. $84 they call it maybe for a different class. Ready pass. Maybe next time you guys come remind me the question. I I'll mention it again. I'll give you the answer. They might say going back to our [ __ ] it up. Huh? The lights are going on and off over here. They said I bring the light. They didn't say take it away. Power outage. So bet he doesn't talk about it. You know, we got it. The time is good. Okay. Let's go upside. You guys just gave me two minutes for time. Thank you. Sometimes you need it. You know, it's gonna be all night like this, huh? Tonight we're going what we call. Everyone sit down. Take out the guitar. Bring the kazan. But we come out and I think people have to understand that this is something that they're going to deal with in their life and they're always going to have these situations where they're going to be somewhere in between $10,000 bill. His wife sends him a message. You got to pay. And the funny thing was this is the this a real question I got. Funny thing was I saw the guy the day after he told me he got upset with his wife cuz she texted him the bill and said please pay it or something like don't pay it. And he got very upset why she thinks I have to pay it. And then he came to me, he said to him, "Yeah, I got into a fight with my wife and I told her this and that and she was very upset with me." And then I gave it to him on the head very very strong. I told him, "Are you a Mun? Are you an idiot?" He says, "Why?" I said to him, "All the money you have only comes because of her." I only gave you money because of her. So she's not asking you to to pay the bill. She's asking you from the money that's mine pay the bill. You know, I put that money with you as a deposit. Pay the bill. Says, "You know what? I'm going to call it out and apologize after that." But when you have rhythm, well, now you understand. Look, at the end of the day, no matter what comes your way. And and I think people think that like, you know, I think sometimes people think, "Oh, rabbi, it's easy for you to talk, you don't go through it, right?" I think a lot of people have that misconception in life that a rabbi doesn't struggle. I think a lot of time we struggle a lot more than you guys to be honest. It's it's not easy, but it's a challenge that we have to deal with every single day. And we have our own problems and we have our own situations that go through our life and over with them. We got over them. But when a muscle, you have to train. So when Hashem puts you in situation, he wants you to build on that moment. And I'm going to give you the biggest proof to this. But Torah tells us that when the Jewish nation left Egypt, it says over thereamushim, the wordim, and the Jewish nation went up from Egypt. What does the word kamushim mean? Rashi brings two answers from the Makila. First answer he says is that they went out with weapons that Hashem gave them weapons. That way when they went out that way when Amalecch came out to war they had what to fight with? Good. Second answer he brings is that one out of five only 20% of the Jews in Egypt we spoke about it last time came out. So the number that we know 600,000 with the women and children about 3 million was only 20% of the people who were in Egypt. Now it's a question how first of all what's going on over here? Why did 80% not want to leave? I don't know if we spoke about it over here in depth but maybe we'll answer it a little bit later. But the second answer question is is if you have weapons, why did the Torah tell us that Hashem was afraid to take them the shorter way that maybe they're going to see a war and they're going to turn back to? What are you afraid of? If you have a sword, you have weapons, you have AK-47s, go in. Guns blazing. Said there half of went out earlier. Their bones were scattered. But the question still stands, what are you afraid of? You have weapons. Says, a beautiful pir. This is a beautiful famous sentence. It wasn't the sword by their side that was missing. It was the in their hearts. It wasn't the tools that were missing. It was the faith in their hearts. And I think this is exactly what every single one of us struggle with sometimes. When guys come to me and tell me, "Rabbi, I want to get married, but I don't have money. I don't have the tools. I don't have what I need." He doesn't realize the reality is you always have what you need. You're never going to be ready for anything in life. But the tools are inside of you waiting for you to seize that opportunity. But they only come out when you step up to the plate. Right? Says now we started learning. It's not for you to finish a job. You're not free from trying. That means you don't have to finish a job, but you have to try. You don't have to be worried about, right? The eyes of a fool at the end of the land. He's always thinking about how am I going to finish? How am I going to end it? Oh, how am I going to do it? This is a you know a is a fool. A fool is a person who thinks about way how am I going to make it happen. But a person who's a wise person he understands that at the end of the day it's not my job. If what I'm doing is for the right reasons all I have to do is step up to the plate and the tools are there. The money will be there. How many people did I have? I told you guys this in the past for the people who have been coming from the time. How many people who didn't buy houses and now we went from one last time we get a class to three three people who came to me who couldn't didn't have money to buy houses tom every single one of them close on houses. It's not because I'm a magical uh hocus pocus guy. You come to me for a blessing and you buy a house. If you want I tried I couldn't buy more than one. I looked in the mirror I said you going to go buy a house. I want the house didn't there was one person I said no to. Actually it's funny. you know that one person he came to me and I said no not again I'm not a prophet so why I tell him no and everyone asked me this question why do you tell that guy no first three guys I came to them and asked me I'm going to give you guys a little bit more this first three guys that came to me and asked me to me why do you want to buy a house the guy tells me look my wife can't do it anymore we're crammed in an apartment we have a two-bedroom apartment with four kids so what I tell him go buy a house but I don't have any money I can't even pay this this month's Am I going to go buy a house? I said, "Don't worry. Go buy a house." And my mush until the last second, he didn't have the money. I told you guys the story, but the 42,000 until the last second. Boom. Closing the house. Another guy comes to me and says, "Look, I'm renting already for 5 years. I don't know what to do. Comes to me again. What's happening?" My wife again, we're not talking material. Yeah, we're talking just basic necessities. The woman says, "I need a bigger place. I've been in this house for 7 years, 8 years, and it's already we're already outgrowing it. already busting through the seams. We can no longer stay in the house. Go buy a house. Bought a house. Third guy, same thing. Fourth guy come and tells me, I want to buy a house. I said, why you want to buy a house? Look, I hate spending the money on the rent every month. It's bothering me. I can't do it. My money is going to the garbage. Interest deductible. Starts giving me all types of calculations. I told him and your wife, my wife is happy where we are. I said, don't buy the house. Said, "No, Rabbi, come out. Don't be a fanatic." And he went and he tried and did he succeed? No. I can lie to you. He didn't. He called me again after said, "Rabbi," I said, "Look, until your wife is ready, you're not ready." That's it. Very simple. Cuz until that point, you're not doing it for the right reasons. You're doing it for something that has to do with you. So, Hashem says things, you could do whatever you want. You could try, you could not, right? That's up to you. But when it comes to something that has to do with me or something that you're doing for my sake, for the happiness of what I what I want for you to have in your life or for your children, then do it. I always told you guys this problem I had when I went to go to sign my kids up to tuition nowadays is not a small feat. They know how to charge. Yeah. And I remember when I went to sign up my daughter, they gave me like a number. So how much do you reasonably the question on like the financial aid form? Yeah. Whatever they want to call that. How much do you think you reasonably can afford? I stopped the application over there. I was bothered for 2 weeks. I don't know how to answer this question. Said, "What? What's the problem?" My my mom was screaming at me. What's the problem? Right. 5,000. I Right. Whatever you want. Why? What? What are you getting upset about? I said they're asking me how much can afford? How much can afford? I told them says that a person is decreed from him except for three things. What are those three things? Shabbat and the teaching Torah to his son and his daughter. Again, so therefore, Hashem is paying for the asking me how much can I reasonably afford. I don't know what can afford can afford everything. But it's on my account, right? The adds he adds also. That's why to go with their wives to restaurants because they're not paying the bill. See over there that's over there are also like they go out with their wife you understand so I didn't know what to do I sent this question to my rabbi in Israel maybe a silly question to ask he told me you have on your banking account not on theirs so I came and I wrote down what I thought but it was really a question that was puzzling me for a minute at the end of the day when a person lives his life in that realm in that reality he realizes all the tools he needs in life are already here. The problem is he doesn't believe it. He doesn't jump into the water, right? You have to jump into the water in life. In everything you do, no matter what it'll be in life, if you're not willing to take the leap, you're never going to make it in life. Period. You can ask guys who own businesses and it's according to according to the simple you could everything in life, you have to take the jump and you have to do it for the right reasons. You have to you have to ask yourself if what I'm doing right now is what Hashem wants me to do that then I'm doing it tools not tools money not money I already have these things they're not my things to decide that's why this week how does it start when a woman conceives and gives birth to a son she has seven days of tum like anah then she has 33 days of dam and double for a girl we spoke about in the past why double for a girl. We're not going to get into that now, but we spoke about in the past. Why double for a girl? But the famous question comes on this. First of all, I want you guys to understand the infinite mercy of God. Yeah. Hashem says on the eighth day, you have to do a breath to a boy, right? Unless there's some complications, John, so on and so forth. Yeah. But the eighth day, why the eighth day? Go search it up. You don't want to believe me, go search it up. On the eighth day, the baby has the highest level of vitamin K in the body and white blood cells. So, how long will it take a baby to heal after readilah? A week to two weeks max. But I know somebody who did a brea at the age of 15. You know what it is? Age of 15. You know how long the recovery is? 3 months. Three months. Skinally. Right before the summer. He told me I was home the whole summer. Me skully. Don't worry. I shouldn't pay it back. Don't worry. He became very rich after not that it's a way to pay back. Yeah. You know what kind it is? You know what mercy on the eth day because on this day is the healthiest day to do it. Then it's a maf for everything in your life. It's a maf for everything in your life. If Hashem asks you to do something on this moment at this day or this thing, it's because this is the time for you right now. So right now time for you to get married. This is the time for you right now. Hashem already gave you the vitamin K. Hm already gave you the money. Hashem already gave you the cle. Hash already gave you the tools, everything you already have. You don't need anything else. The only thing you need is the fate. The sword is not missing. The amuna is what's missing. The tools are not what's missing. It's what the that's missing. But we have to realize that we cannot lie to oursel I believe. But I just don't have the the mean. I can't see how. I can't see way. How many times say I believe I believe I I believe. Why you believe? How do you believe in the words? I don't know where the money is going to come from. Come from your mouth. That's not belief. Believe is Hashem. I'm going and everything will work out. Not one, not two, not three. And I told you about houses. I didn't tell you about all the people I came to for weddings. Every single dollar. I don't have any money to get married. Go get married. It's from Shamine. How long can you drag this thing on for? You found the right one. Move on. What about the whole? What about this? What about that? I told you guys when I got married. Yeah. I didn't have a dollar to my name. Yeah. I was making nothing peanuts. And I told I got married to my wife. I came I got a blessing from my rabbi. I came back. I said, "Okay, Rabbi told me get married. We're going jumping in the water." I got married. I came back April 1st. I got married in July. 3 months. It was also right after Pes I couldn't buy anything. I couldn't go buy diamond ring this that. So I had to wait. So 3 weeks I couldn't do anything anyways. I went to the catering hall. Now how much is catering cost? Yeah. Catering two 300 people. Whatever. Get me right. It's expensive, right? Especially over here in the Bkari. I don't know how much it cost over here in Queens. Yeah. By the way, Milan over here. I'm never coming to wedding again. All the place have the same name. D Michelangelo. D Michelangelo. Wabangelo. I me half of the place. I don't know where the place is. I got invited to the wedding. I'm not going to mention names. Yeah. I went to the wrong wedding. I got invited to a wedding. I went to the wrong wedding. I walk in. A guy sees me. Rabbi, what are you doing over here? I said, "What do you mean? I came for the wedding." You're not the Katan. I said, "Yeah, of course I know." I said, "The name?" He tells me, "No, that's not the Katan's name is." I said, "Oh, I'm in the wrong place. It's not the Michelangelo the third." He goes, "No, this is the second." When does it cost expensive? I come into the catering hall. Now, we're talking about the I'm married now for almost 8 years 8 years ago. So before the inflation and the Iran war and sort the gas surges and the blockades can the guy says $21,000. This is what happened. Yeah. It's $21,000 for the food. Now I come with my brother's mother-in-law. Yeah. So she's big in the community. She has 11 kids. She knows how to bargain. She goes to him. She looks at him. Just give him one look in the eye. He says, "Okay, I'll come down to 15 bad. I can't do a dollar. I can't do a dollar less." She looks at him and says, "12." The guy says, "I cannot do 12. I'm not I want make I'm losing money. I'm gonna call your mother." She tells him, he says, "Okay, I'm gonna do 12." Am I joking around? Get for $12,000. I'm not going to tell you the name of the catering hall. It's not going to kill me after everything. 12,000 come for 21. We heard but not to the G. Then I went to the photographer. You may listen. You would think this is crazy. I walk into the place. He goes to me, "Wait a minute. Is your father so and so?" I said, "Yeah, he used to own a car service when a few years ago." I says, "Yeah, when I first came to America, I used to work for your father. So, you know what? I'm going to give it to you like this price." I said, "Okay." Then I went to the floor. Everything was mama miracles and miracles on miracles. And even that 12,000 I didn't have. And even the 4,000 I didn't have. And none of it I had. and I got married and everything was good and it was a beautiful wedding and we didn't miss anything and the money came. So too in your life when you're going to jump into the water everything's going to be okay. Doesn't matter what it is. The problem is that you're afraid. You're afraid. I remember one time my mom is very big into like inspirational speakers. You can imagine she was very happy when her son became a rabbi. Okay. Okay. She sent me one time a video. I don't know the guy's name. Old guy's like in his 70s coming to the screen. Yeah. Everybody needs to know, you know. Send me a video motivational speaker. I said, "This guy's not motivating. He's kind motivating the guy in the corner." What's he motivating? He's motivating. They're like, "Shent me a video." He said something that the truth he got it from us. Okay. He says when a person wants everyone in the world they talk I want to go buy a house. I want to go buy a house. I want a this. I want a that. I want to get married but they never ever one time went to a showing. I want to buy a house. So why don't you go to the showing? Oh no, but I'm not ready. Excuses all the way into the thing. That's the difference when the guy calls the broker and says I'm ready to buy a house. How? Doesn't make a difference. I'm ready. What's the reason? My wife needs this one. Whatever it may be, for the right reasons, but it's going to be good. But you have to jump into the water for the right reasons. Can they call the rabbi? You have to make yourself a rabbi and run away from doubt. Call. Make sure it's for the right reasons. Not everything's for the right reason. We'll put on the table now. But if it's for the right reason, jump. And I'm giving you guys a school. You guys want a school? I'm going to give you guys. You guys like the Ebies? Give you guys a school. Throw a monkey out of the throw a monkey out of the window from the third floor. Jump down and catch him and then do three back flips and then drink a lemonade and you're going to get married this year. Wow. Really? Okay. The monkeys are flying out of the window all over Queens now. It's not a real school. I made it up. Can I'm gonna give you something now. You want real, you want real luck in your life, real success, make yourself a rabbi. Make yourself a rabbi. What does that mean? I don't pick your rabbi. You pick your rabbi. Right? The says, "Not make for yourself a rabbi." But when you find somebody that you connect with, that you relate with, that you find a bond with, that you feel understands you, even if you don't know them, you like their style, you like the way they talk, like whatever it is that about them, you feel I connect with this person, this is the person you need to call. Oh, I don't want to bother. So, come stand up at the end of the class. If it's me, come to your end of the class. Rabbi, I want your number. No problem. Here's my number. You call me. I may not answer all the time. Everyone who calls me knows, but if I don't answer, text me. I'll get back to you. I mostly answer the time. No, I pretty much no almost no 90% of the time. Yeah. But I get back to you. But it's true. You have to have a rabbi. I just came from California now. I saw a guy over there. He wants to grow. He wants to get to the next level of his life. That's where my brother. Yeah. That's why I was in California. Yeah. But not in LA. I was in Sunnyville, California. If you guys ever heard of it, Sunnyville, California. Silicon Valley. Yeah. I would say in the Silicon Valley, which is everything's high-tech over there, they have ways to deal with problems. So, what do they do? Gas prices are very high over there. 650 a gallon, very expensive. So, what do they do? They made electric cars. They have a lot of Chinese and Indian people. So, they made self-driving cars cuz those guys don't know how to drive. So, you it's bad. So, everything like I come to this place, I meet this guy, my brother Sh. He comes to the dinner. He's sitting down. He's talking to me and he's I feel like just from the conversation, so he has no ku, no direction. is all mixed up. I told him, "You need a rabbi." Tell me, "Okay, I'll make you my rabbi." I said, "No, I live in New York." I said, "Popet, you need one on the ground. You can have a rabbi overseas." Yeah, but it's very hard and it's very, you need somebody here. Find somebody over here. Find somebody there. Something like that. I told him, "You know what? I have somebody great for you." He says, "Who?" My older brother. He's right here sitting on the table. You came to his house and made a connection between them. But what's the problem? He'll shake his hand. He'll say, "Yeah, you know, Rabbi, I want I'll make you my rabbi." And then he'll never call. He'll never call. And it's that's the reality. What happened? I didn't hear from you in 3 months. Everything's okay. Yeah. No, I didn't want to bother you. I had this and that and then mistakes on mistakes on mistakes because they're too afraid to call. Yeah. I remember that when I was starting, right? And I And is one of my rabbis, a huge rabbi, one of those no one could reach him. again. Nobody. But I'm telling you guys now, don't put his time. I have his first I have his personal phone number. Nobody has it. I have it. Okay. Don't come after me for it. Yeah. And I never one time called him in my life. And my brother's like, "What's going on with you?" The rabbi wants to hear from you. He wants you to call. He wants to hear from you. He wants to see what's going on with you. He wants to call even on the holiday. Rabbi said, "Oh, the rabbi is so busy. The rabbi is so busy. I don't want to bother him. And that was my mistake because I was like a lone soldier in a wolf. I'll just figure out my own. And that was the mistake until something changed and I said, you know what, no more. I'm going to call. I'm going to send that message. I'm going to send the voice on whatever it is. And I'm going to get my answer and that's what I'm going to do. And that's what that's every rabbi in the world had a rabbi. You know that had a rabbi had a rabbi. Who was it? Right. Ab has a rabbi. Who was that? Abu even had a rabbi. You know who that was? Hashem himself. So, everyone in the world had a rabbi all the way back to Hashem himself. And it's a it's something that was an unbroken chain. But when you make for yourself a rabbi, someone you connect with, someone you could talk with, the trajectory of your life changes because now you have real guidance. And even if the rabbi takes you the wrong direction, I want you to know, even if he tells you a mistake, if you did it only because you believed in your rabbi, no m will come to your hands. No, how we say in English >> stumbling block, >> no punishment, no nothing will come to your hands because end of the day, I did it from pureim. I believed in Hashem's stages. I believed in his and therefore says at 120 if there's a debon it's not on your shoulders it's on his so when he comes to the judges after 120 they tell you hey why'd you do this excuse me not my problem call my rabbi they wake him up in the middle of the night he has to come to the judge I'm sorry you know that was on me guys that was like that's on him we going to do not on you though you have to make yourself a rabbi 100% but you also have to know when to set to the plate This week's pa starts with life. The beginning of life. A woman who conceives and gives birth to a child and then a daughter. And then right after it goes to it goes all the way to what? To leprosy. What's the connection between child birth and leprosy and no connection between the two seemingly okay this one's impurity? This one's impurity and they need to get pure. They need to go to maybe accord level. Yeah. But victor beautiful beautiful you want to know what the connection between these two things are what's the connection between the beginning of life and a person who gets leprosy okay why does a person get leprosy >> we learned from he actually brings down over there like almost a full ammood if not more yeah of how terrible is hashem cannot be this this person in the same place all the terrible things he writes over there a list after list after list and everyone takes a shot at how bad it is they get they get something called leprosy and I'm not going to go into the procedure if anyone wants for sake of time we'll do it after if anyone wants you go after I'll tell you exactly what they had to do and why it made sense and so on and so forth but not for right now what's the connection the says there are four people who are alive but they're considered to be like dead. Who are they? H ani who's an a po person. A person but not just a regular poor person has to be a person who was rich and lost all of his money. A person who's blind a person who gets leprosy and a person who cannot have children. That's the four things they bring down. Ask Miller. I don't understand. How are these four people not alive? How they not alive? A person who doesn't have children, he's not walking. He's not talking. He's not breathing. He's not eating. He's doing everything. How is he not living? And what's the common denominator between these four things? What does a leper have to do with a person can't have children and a person want their money? What do all these people have to do with each other? What's the connection between these four? What's the common denominator? And he gives a beautiful answer. You know what the difference between all these people? You know what the common common denominator is? You know what the thing they have in common is that none of them have a choice in the matter. A person lost all of his money. They have a choice in that. A person who's a he but the end of the day he has no control over with. A person who is blind can't control that. A person who can have children can't control that. There's many scrut you could do. Yes. and some of the things that a person can do that can open up the ocean mind. But he says, you know, one of the things they don't have is choice. Choice is life. Choice is what makes you living. It's not the functions of life that give you life. It's choice that gives you life. That's why tells the Jewish nation, "Life and death I've placed before you and choose life because only you can choose life." Nida tells us that there's a angel, we spoke about it many times in the past, Laya, who is in charge of childbirth. He brings down the tip, this the drop of semen, and he comes before God and he says, "What's going to be the story with this with the semen? rich, not rich, poor, everything you could possibly imagine. Even says that his wife is decided for him. Who he's going to marry, who she's going to marry, everything's decided except for one thing. What is that? Righteous or wicked? How do I know says what does Hashem ask from you to fear? You see from the fact that Torah tells you that Hashem asks from you to fear that fear is not in Hashem's hand. It's in your hands. And what does fear of God mean? Awareness of God. Belief in God. Going after Hashem. The only choice you have in life. You cannot pick how handsome you are. You cannot pick how smart you are. None of these things you can pick. But one thing you can pick is what you do for Hashem. Says Victor Miller. That's choice. Your life is built only on choice. And the only choice you have is to do is to be a good person between you and Hashem, between you and your fellow to do good things. How your business going to do this month, I guarantee you have no choice. How much money you going to make this month? You don't have a choice. It makes no difference. I know a personal guy. He started keeping Shabbat only a few years ago. He owned a certain store. He says his busiest day of the week was Shabbat. Rabbi, how am I going to make money if I close my store on the busiest day of the week? Good. Took a long time to convince him. And unfortunately in that situation, he had to get a little bit of a can. And then he woke up, he closed his business on Shabbat. The year after, yeah, year over year, he made less money or he made more money or made the same >> more money. He comes to say, "I don't understand it." I said, "You're not supposed to understand it." Shabbat Shabbat is the source of your blessing. It may be scary. According to the according to reality, according to nature, Saturday is the busiest day of the week. Our Shabbat is the mik. And if you keep it, you're not going to lose. So this person choice chose to go the right path. And guess what? He didn't lose. And you never will lose. By the way, was it here? No, it's my Thursday class. I told you guys about the fact that I was flying to California before Pes and one guy told me, "Good luck, right? Good luck. You're going to need a TSA. He's like this and like that. You're going to fly. You're going to be there all night." I had a very early morning flight. I tell you luck. I don't need luck. So, you know why you need luck? Cuz you're going for the pin colada on the beach over there. I don't know what you're going for. I'm going to make my wife and my mom happy. I don't want to go to California. I'm okay staying at home, but I'm going to make my my wife and my mom happy. And guess what? The day I flew, they came out with a deal with TSA. I got through TSA in 25 minutes. 25 minutes. You got no clear people going crazy to get clear. Not clear. Habib, I'm coming in clear. I'm already clear. Okay. I came in 25 minutes. Me, my three kids, we came to the whole thing. We're ready by the thing. No problem. And on the way back, I'm not joking with you. On the way back, how many people in TSA line? What's the smallest TSA line you ever saw in your life? Not clear, not pre-check, not pre- precheck. 10 to those people. Huh? >> What's the last smallest amount of people you saw on a TSA line? >> 25. >> Huh? How much you saw? >> 10 15 20 25. >> Huh? Anyone? >> Smallest. >> 50. >> Anyone? Huh? >> You saw two? F2 was two people that come on the line there two people over here say okay >> you know why on Monday I have to give actually have a sh all week this week and next week don't think I was over there not giving yeah I gave him over there also I didn't speak too much yeah I only spoke twice but I gave classes in between at the end of the last time I spoke over there one guy from the from the congregation came to brother said to him look we're signing your brother he cannot leave the community we need him here he said no he can't yeah he has a lot of work that he's doing over there in New York America can't I'm can't but at the end of the day a person has to know that the one thing he has in life is choice and the choices that you make in life are only one thing you have a choice inahv coming to the class tonight but other things you don't and so don't waste your time in those things you have to do what you have to do. You have to have no one saying you don't don't take a rabbi say you don't got to do anything. No, you got to do you got to do your part. But is only you know what that means? It's only a decree from God. Not that I have to. It's that at the end of the day, I'm going to give you the greatest example. If you remember the rest of your life, you'll know exactly how it works. Good. This is a dam. You guys know what a dam is? Okay. The water behind the dam is coming here. Yeah. Now, I want the water to get to the other side. So, what do I have to do? >> Break the dam. But the water I cannot change. The water is there. Good. That's exactly you should do this. You should do this again. The water is right here. Says, "But what can I do?" You have to open up the damn in order for the water to come in. So that's what you should do this. I cannot decide how much water is on the other side. Yeah. I have to work overtime this week, Rabbi. No, I can't come to the shield. I have to work harder. Yeah. I told you guys one time. He had one time he had a shav. And he had one guy who didn't come to the class that week. And this guy come every single week consistent. So he tells him, "Excuse me, where were you last week?" He says, "Rabbi, don't ask. I was a noose. I had a I was exempt." So what happened at a wedding? That you had something serious? He goes, "Rabbi, you know I'm an electrician." Yeah. Says, "Of course." Says, "Someone offered me to switch light fixtures." And instead of paying me what I normally char, he said he's going to pay me double. Pay me double. So I couldn't give up the opportunity. I was an So how much? how much he made. He goes, "Rabbi, I usually charge $300 for a picture. This guy gave me $600." Says, "Now you just told the is worth $600 and for the your is worth $600." And now retroactively every class you came up until now is only worth $600. There's no menu in Shamay of how much a mitzvah is worth. You know that, right? Sh doesn't tell you if you do this mitzvah, it's worth a thousand coins. Who decides how much a mitzvah is worth? You. The emphasis you place on that mitzvah is exactly the way Hashem will give you the reward for that mitzvah. When you see a shoe on Monday night or Tuesday night or Wednesday night, whatever it is, which basically means I don't care what's going to happen. I'm not missing. If I have no other choice, I have a wedding that I must be at that I cannot go to later. You know how many weddings I missed? You know how many weddings people invite me to? cannot make it to because I have a class. There can be people that I know my whole entire life and I will tell them I'm sorry I am not coming to your wedding. Why I have a class? I heard Joseph talk about his brother, his older brother. He told him he never comes to any event and I'm not upset with him because he always has he has a that's what they call to teach you how important you have organization when your life is calculated. this is good, this person, and this is exactly how I like things to be. I had a guy come to me a few weeks ago. He says to me, "Rabbi, I'm struggling." So, what happened? I don't know. It's not working for me over here. It's not working for me over here. The business and this and this and that. I told them, "What's your day look like?" Well, I wake up around and then I go to work around. So, they're going to always be around. I told you also going to be around Ken going to be around your whole life. Habib around. When's that around? I wake up this time. I go pray this time. I learn this time. I go to work this time. I come home this time. I go to People don't really How much time there is in the day? Yeah. How many How much hours are there in the day? 24 hours. Let's do a calculation. Who sleeps here 8 hours a night? Let's say everyone over here 8 hours a night. So subtract I wish I sleep three. Ken, if I get lucky and most of the time it's on the couch with a book on my face. Ken, eight hours. So how much we have left? 16. Good. Take away three hours for eating and bathroom and showering or whatever it is. Good. It's a nice amount of time for eating, bathroom and shower. Good. So now we have 13 hours. Take away eight hours which is the normal amount of time person should work in a day, right? 9 to 5 is how many hours? 8 hours. 8 hours. Yeah. 40 hours a week. So take away 8 hours. How much we have left? 5 hours. So everyone over here is 5 hours sting. Are you serious? How much you 5 minutes? Oh 10%. Not even M 5 hours. What do we do with these 5 hours? You know how much time people waste in the inrums? You know what the inrums are? The inbetweens. Where am I going now? I don't know. I'm thinking about for 20 minutes. Get my water bottle. Let me get my let me eat my yogurt. Okay. And an hour already passed before to the next destination. He doesn't know where he's going. He does not know where he's going. And I forget that Daniel. I don't want to get into the phone already. Forget the phone. Yeah. Screen time was a whole different problem. I asked one guy, I'm not joking with you. It's a real Yeah. I told the guy, please about screen time, not to be too much on the phone. He showed me his screen time. 16 hours. 16 hours screen time. I said to him, how is it possible? How is that even possible? How do you have 16 hours in a screen? >> That's his whole day. >> The whole day. >> Everything. Everything. That's it. 16 hours on a screen. I wish Pokemon cards. Hey, 16 hours. I'm not joking around with you. Guys sitting over there watching video. 16 hours of he goes to sleep with the video on his hand. God forbid he miss. He has to go back to exactly the point. He has to know if the guy's going to beat the challenge or not. Okay. 90-day challenge. He has to know if he's going to make it to the end. So where was I? He goes all the way back as soon as he wakes up in the morning. He has to see 16 hours and that's playing through the whole night. Huh? You know the baby in the zah. He hears you also hear your phone and it goes to the next object, the next subject, the next object. I used to put him there was actually a story I remember I think it was said it over. There was a girl who was uh I would say he's struggling spiritually and the father came to the rabbi and he said, "Rabbi, I don't know what to do." And says, "Okay, we'll figure out what's going on." He found out that his daughter would go to sleep at night watching classes on YouTube. Yeah. She would put on a class on YouTube and then she would go to sleep. while listening to the rabbi and what would come up there after the rabbi as soon as the video after the rabbi tons and tons of garbage and all night you're listening to garbage all night you're listening to this and that thing and this thing and that thing and then you don't realize it has a what you hear has ash on you some people think oh I'm going to go listen to music and all this the song is full of beeps and I said rabbi I can't stop cursing you know why you can't stop cursing I can't even step into your car. They open the door. Beef. They keep on blasting it. You know the subway from the back. On the way over here, I was behind the car. I didn't know where the car was going to about to explode. I think it was coming from my range. The whole world was shaking. Why they put the subwoofer in the trunk? Can someone explain to me why they put the subway from the trunk? You don't want to listen to music. Why does everyone behind you have to listen? Let you listen. Why I have to listen to your music? I don't want to listen to your music. I don't like your music. No penalty. Everyone has to listen. A person in life has choice and you have more than you need. The tools are already there and you can do with them whatever you want but you have to be the one to utilize it. And the last thing I'll finish with just as time permits we spoke about last week's the eth day of the inauguration of the Mishkan which happened to be on the 1st of Nissan 7 days earlier on the 23rd of Adal. Hashem tells Mosher Rabenu to inaugurate the Mishkan to teach and his children a who does the for those days says the midashu Moshenu gets to put on the priestly garments the white cloak everything but it's interesting cuz we learned in that Rabenu lost the because he argued with Hashem about going to big and then Hashem let him do it for seven days so on the one hand you can look at it like cruel ah we let me taste what I can't have on the other hand you can say look how giving But that's not the point of because we don't have time otherwise the whole show within itself. But I'll tell you just one little detail, one tidbit says the mid that when Moshe finished that I won't finish that day. The fire did not come down from Shama comes to Moshe and he tells him I'm embarrassed. I did all of the I did all of the work and the fire didn't come down. And then they cried and they prayed. Moshe and they cried to themselves. They put down they bowed to they prayed and then the fire came down from says that it's not the work the hocus pocus the what you put on the brings hashem's fire down into the world. You know what it is that the connection if that is missing the fire will never come down. You can do all the action in the world you can come you can go you can do all the choices in the world to do all the but if the heart is not there says the fire will not be there and therefore we have to know for ourselves and we'll finish we have to know for ourselves that it's our life in our hands. We have the choice to do what's the only thing that we can do which is the mitzvot to do the things that gave us the ability to but we have to do it with love. We have to do it with and all the tools you already have the only that's missing maybe the and if we're aware of that we work on that will grow and grow and grow and will answer all of our and give every single one of us all what we're praying for. means to you.