Rabbi Maor Bendel - Climbing the ladder of sefirat haomer

Hey welcome everyone to tonight's very special shear on Sefirat HaOmer. Of course by and more wrote and of course or tower in the show of course for opening stories each each week. Of course last week we spoke about the rabbi spoke about don't make the day don't just don't just count the days but make the days count and of course we have a special topic tonight about climbing the ladder of Sefirat HaOmer and I I heard a mashal I think is very that how we came up with tonight's topic. So Shafer he said that if you if you look in uh in baseball major league baseball how do you So what happens? So you you have the you have a guy he gets up right? So so what happens the first time he gets up he strikes out. Second time he strikes out. Third time again strikes out. This guy sitting on the bench what's he doing? What happens the fourth time he gets a single. The fifth time he gets up he gets a double. So that's what what happens after the the game the players in the locker room they're discussing what happened in the game and another player says to him you did an amazing job. He said what do you mean? I was just I was just two I was just two for five. He said that that that that no that if you if if you if you bat 300 percentage 300 in in baseball then you're an all star and there's no player in baseball history that has ever hit 400. Why? Because because sometimes a person says they want to improve their relationship they want to make their days count they want to improve their relationship with their with their with their parents with their friends and colleagues but then maybe that one day they come and they slip up. So what do they say it's over. But but but but but when you have a ladder if you if each step on the on the ladder is important and of course in a sports and in life more importantly you have to have a good coach and of course Rabbi Bendel who joins us. So Rabbi thank you for your opening remarks. I'm sorry that I'm a little bit late. I want to say that there was a lot of traffic but it wasn't the case. >> [laughter] >> I'm looking for excuses but I didn't What can we do? Today was a very hectic day. I was just telling Binyamin on the way over here 7:00 crazy day I got home late. Tomorrow I got to prepare my class for tonight. I just told her like it was around 6:30 I'm sitting down with all my books open I'm learning I told her you know what I'm in a situation now I don't know what's going to be I'm I'm a little bit tight on time. And then my wife looks at me at 7:00 30 minutes after I told her you know I can't do it she looks at me she goes the kids are a little bit too much. I said to Binyamin what should I do? I asked him on the phone on the way over here what do you think I should do? What does the yetzer hara tell you? The yetzer hara tells you let's say and I have a class tonight excuse me what you have to do? I said yetzer hara be quiet I got up I said to my wife okay what do you need me to do? Watch this one put this one to bed no problem. So I told God whatever is going to happen tonight I knew it was not going to be at this point. Rabbi came and he told you guys beautiful like the man that we're going to be talking a little bit about Sefirat HaOmer. Sefirat HaOmer really we have to understand what is this time. What it entails what it entails. Most of us know that Sefirat HaOmer really was actually a command from the Torah. Happens to be it coincides with the mourning of the students of Rabbi Akiva. But really the Shulchan Aruch brings down that more things happened during these times. The blood libels the pogroms and so on the crusades there were other things in throughout the history of the Jewish nation that happened during this time. The Pri Etz Chaim he actually writes this time is actually a time of of suffering of of severity and difficulty for the Jewish nation. Which is actually pretty funny because if you look in Gemara and in Midrashim and Divrei Chazal it actually looks like this time should be a time of healing a time of goodness. That's why by the way what month are we in right now? Iyar and what's the Rosh Chodesh of Iyar? Huh? Ani Hashem Rofecha. I'm Hashem your your healer. So on the one hand you tell me it's a time of severity of Kabbalah but according to what I just said right now it should be a time of healing. So and then we have to understand that the Kadosh Baruch Hu in His infinite mercy even in a time of severity quote unquote is still a time of healing. Now I will delve into that a little bit deeper. Before we get into Rabbi Akiva and his students what happened over there. And I'll and I'll and I'll paint an image. We spoke about it in the past few times. Achzariyut which basically means cruelty is mercy or not? Many times cruelty could actually be the highest form of mercy. Right? Like we said in the past a father who holds down his son at the dentist how does it look? Like cruelty right? When I'm holding my Leia down she's 6 years old at the dentist so that the doctor Chinese guy could take out the tooth cuz she had a baby tooth that didn't come out. That's a true story that happened yeah I had to go to the doctor dentist with my daughter and I had to hold her down cuz she had a baby tooth that wouldn't come out and the other tooth was already emerging through. So the guy said look I can't do it you have to hold her down. I'm holding her down she's crying she's screaming. If you from outside looking in how does it look? Call this crazy rabbi we're calling child protective services. Sitting over there with my hands on my daughter and he's over there Chinese guy next to me. It looks like you know it doesn't look good especially with the Chinese guy you never know what's happening to me. As I said well it looks very cruel. But it's the highest level of chaim. So too in everything in life. Sometimes as a parent you think it's easy to tell your kids no. Right? It's the sometimes easy thing is to say yes. It's to give in. But that doesn't mean that giving in is the right thing right? Sometimes telling the kid no is the best thing for them but it seems to the child like it's very very achzari. Daddy I want a candy. Okay. Here take a candy. Daddy I want another candy. Kids you know how that works with candies? They don't only want one. You give them one they want a hundred you know what I'm saying? The first time the first time they come for a lot you know they're not they're not going for a little bit you know. I'm I'm thinking big. I'm thinking big. So you give them one candy he says I want to get another one? No. Now what happens with the kids? What do they do when you ask when you ask for the candy and you don't give it to them? >> [screaming] >> Now God bless my daughter she I have three kids I have Leia Yaakov and Chaya. Right? All of them my wife picked the names. Yeah I wanted a completely different name but I said she wants those names. I want it would have been Sarah Yosef and and Naomi but my wife wanted different names so I gave her the names. Now you guys know which names I wanted huh? Now what do you do you use it. >> [laughter] >> It's good to give in you know. Now you can count it but I never right? I never seen a person who gives up a lose. All my kids if you meet them they're exactly as their names. Leia looks like a Leia. Yaakov looks like a Yaakov and Chaya looks like a Chaya. Chaya she came out spicy you know she came out with a little bit of sugar in her. She came out really well. And when she cries you know some babies they give up you know they cry and they give up. You know what I'm talking about? They cry and say okay it's not working out chalas. It didn't work I tried. Chaya is not like that. Chaya will will cry three hours until you come into the room. She doesn't give up. So today I was getting her ready for school. It's time I put her in this morning. She doesn't like to drink from her bottle. She wants to only drink from her water bottle. Right? So what happens when a one and a half year old drinks from a water bottle? You guys ever seen? Huh? The whole clothes get wet cuz they don't know how to drink from a So Chaya no please Chaya take the water bottle. Take the bottle I have for you the baby bottle. Drink from this one. She says no no I want the whoa whoa whoa whoa and she started going crazy crying. Now I'm in the morning now I got to take her to school. I'm already on the way out. I'm telling Yaakov he's ready. I'm already with her Leia get on the bus. And I'm saying to myself what am I going to do if I'm going to give her the water bottle she doesn't want me to hold it. I try to give it to her to me holding it she doesn't accept. I do not accept you holding the water bottle. I told her Chaya I'm going to hold it just let me hold it you drink and I hold. No way Jose. Now she's going crazy. She's going crazy. What's the easiest thing for me to do? Huh? Take the water bottle get wet yellow water park and then afterwards I'll take you. No slide over there we're going to water slide in the house we're going to slide you out to the out to the car. That's the easiest option you know to already give her the bottle and then once she's drinking from the bottle for me to go upstairs and get her a change of outfit from now cuz I know what's going to happen. Huh? That's the easiest thing to do no? But what lesson is she learning from that? Yeah she's here and a half you have to teach them lessons now. You got to give her a no I said I said no. I went why why why is it a book I don't know. Huh? And I had to go and instruct and so on and so forth but it's not easy for the parent to say no. But he knows that if I'm going to say yes something bad is going to happen to you. In this case you're going to get wet. But how many times in life it's much worse? I always love to see the guy who says Hashem. You know he starts singing songs. You talk ABOUT PARNASSAH AMEN YOU hear amen. You ever heard that men during Rosh Hashanah? You hear Sha'arei Torah amen. SHA'AREI PARNASSAH AMEN. WHAT HAPPENED? WHAT HAPPENED? You ever been to Binyamin AND WHAT ABOUT AMEN. WHAT HAPPENED? Where's the Torah? >> [laughter] >> Anavah [clears throat] one guy in the back amen. Misken anav chalas. Parnassah the guy wants. He says why don't you give it to me? Why don't you open it for me? Why don't you open it for me? Why don't Open it up. And Hashem says for you if I would give you abundance of money it would probably be the worst thing I could give you. Because I know you. People like to play tricks on themselves. They like to live in what we call alternate realities. There's a saying in Hebrew "uchai beseret" you guys ever heard of that? He lives in a movie. People they live in movies they think that their life is a movie a movie. They think that they can no. A person in life needs to be honest with himself. He needs to know what he can and what he cannot do. Like that one guy told me rabbi me I'm good. I can go to the mall. I I can go to the beach. She don't talk to me. Don't talk to me. I told you you know you never saw that. No safe guarding from my old this guy. No, no, Rabbi me. Rabbi, you know who I am? No, I don't know who you are. You also don't know who you are. >> [laughter] >> Me, I don't look. Of course you don't look. And then you go out there. I told you guys about the guy in Miami, you know. He picked me up in the car. The whole time he I don't know who was driving the car. >> [laughter] >> You can look. I said the tint the windows in the car. Some people have tint the windows. People don't see them. It's called For him to tint the windows, people don't see him looking. It's Kanshili. He's all the day. >> [laughter] >> Some people they were like that. And they think I'm good. And it's a it's a it's not a reality. But they don't know and they're not honest with themselves. If you were to get this item right now, it wouldn't be good for you. Some people get married to the wrong person. I'm talking about. How's it possible? They jump too fast. I'm not saying you shouldn't 3 months is the time line, okay? Let's let's make it clear, okay? I want I always tell you guys this. I said it before in the past. Just because you have fun with the person doesn't mean he's your husband. Just because you have fun with the person does not mean she's your wife. I told you guys 100 times. I'll tell you again. I would have more fun with a monkey at Topgolf than I would with you. 100%. Give me a few shots and the monkey a few shots and we're going to be the best time. Home runs, okay? Let me name you with the golf balls. So it's called home runs. So what if you had a good time with him? All right, but we went we had a great time. Where did you guys go? We went to a rooftop. All that. Okay, fine. Anyone's going to have a good time. What did he do? Right? So in life, a person has to be honest with himself. He has to know what's truly good for me. And what's truly good for you. What I shall want for you. Right? We spoke about it in the past. You had time. The word of you had time. We spoke about it last week, no? Everything in life is a matter of perspective. It's all about what you see. But there's no such thing as bad. Bad is a what we call a something from our imagination. It's a facade. It's something that we created. But when a person truly understands that Hashem is the one that's in charge of everything that's going on in his life, no such thing is bad. Bad doesn't exist. Bad no longer exists. So what you may see as cruelty, as severity, as difficulty, it actually is the best thing for you. But you have to learn how to see it. You have to learn how to be aware, to open your eyes, to understand that just because something looks bad to me doesn't mean it's what Hashem wants for me. So even though this may be the time where it could be a time of severity. It could be a time of difficulty like we just saw. It's called Shulchan Aruch Pri Etz Chaim. But at the same time Hashem is also time of healing. Cuz you know sometimes to heal you, Hashem has to clean you. Right? The Gemara in Brachot talks about it. A person sees suffering coming his way. What is the first thing he does? Looks into his actions. Why is he looking into actions? Chazal are telling us very clearly. Nothing in the world comes to you without a reason. Nothing in the world comes to you without a reason. If Hashem brought this thing to you, the question you need to ask yourself is why. Not who, but why. You understand the question? And the difference between who and why? Not who did he send me, why did he send me? A shidduch breaks off. Okay, why? Not who. Why him? No. But you don't see the person because you understand why. I don't care. I want to love like yourself. To love one of the Jews, which is what we're going to get into a little bit. Rabbi Akiva. Rabbi Akiva is the greatest in the Torah. To love your fellow Jew, which is the commandment of these days, right? What we have to work on entirely is loving your fellow Jew. We're going to get into it a little bit more in depth. But to love a Jew is not It's very easy to love a Jew you're friends with, huh? To love your best friend is easy? 100% loving your best friend is easy. Anyone of you have a hard time loving your friend? Huh? Anyone of you having a hard time loving the Maybe it's not a good example. What about your father or your mother? Some people, yes, unfortunately. How about your Hashem said, "No, it's People who do good to me, are nice with me. Easy. So you think that the Torah would come and tell you you have to love every single Jew? And he was talking about a guy who was easy for you to love. Your best friend. You have to love him. All right. Shita. I don't have to tell you. It's obvious. You're going to love him. Who do you have to love? The guy who cheated from you. The guy who stole from you. The guy who broke your heart, maybe. All that. Said the shidduch in 3 months didn't work out. Whatever it may be, the person who did something wrong to you, this is the person you need to love. You understand why? Because they are just a messenger. They are just carrying out Hashem's will. And behind that will is what? The best thing for you. Cuz behind that cruelty, behind this person screaming at you, is the best thing for you. I love to give this example. Imagine now a person comes up to you right now. He's screaming at you. You're like this. You're like this. You're like this. You're like this. And you're like this. And all these questions you have. Huh? If you're Moroccan, that's that. Something you're going to get upset But imagine now a guy screaming at you, yelling at you, telling you like this, or brings you a whole list of according to the Gemara. >> [laughter] >> At that moment, you're going to say to yourself, I don't know you, men of all You think you're talking to me? You know who I am? And then you go at him. I'm like this. You're like that. All right. All right. Guys go back and forth now, okay? Dumb and dumber. It's always like the guys on the highway. Ever seen the people who are fighting in the cars on the highway? I'm not going to let him go. I'm not going to let him go. I'm not going to let him go until they crash into each other. >> [laughter] >> How do you want to let him just go? It's like it's famous. Like at that moment, people have a with the driving. At that moment, let the other guy pass. Yeah? And in that world, walk away. No, you're not going to walk away. But this guy cutting me off. You're not going to walk away. I'm not letting him cut me off. Or if right now someone came into here, walked into this door, busted through the door. Rabbi, you're like this and like that and like this and like that. Come on. I'll tell him. Thank you. Love you. Why? Cuz I see something you don't see. Huh? You guys see I'm wearing my virtual goggles? You guys see them or no? You don't see the virtual goggles, huh? So I'm wearing virtual goggles. What do you think? In my virtual goggles, I see a bank account. Which bank account? Not over here. Over in Shamayim. When I asked him, right, what about what do you do? I said I sell real estate. He says, "Yeah?" I said, "Yeah, I sell real estate." He says, "Which neighborhood?" I said, "Gan Eden." You looking to buy property? >> [laughter] >> We could take you up now. Send you on your way. Real estate in Gan Eden. Right? But I see the bank account in Shamayim. And every time this person yells at me, you know what I see? Another million dollars. Another million dollars. Imagine for a second you could see your own personal bank account. And every time this person screams at you, you get another million dollars. What are you going to do? Keep on going. Keep on going. WHAT IS GOING ON WITH YOU? WHY ARE YOU STOPPING? COME BACK HERE. GO AGAIN. WHY? Cuz you know that you're growing from it. You're benefiting something from it. What's the problem? We don't realize that every challenge in our life is your money going up. Give you a coin. For lack of a better example. Is the bank account going up. Every challenge. A guy screams at you. Boom. Another million. Bring another one. You have any friends? Bring your friends, too. But once I understand that, so now I'm not angry with this person, right? I won't hate him. I love him cuz he's only doing good to me. I love this person cuz he's only doing good to me, right? So when your mother in my opinion, I'm saying maybe my life is a little different than yours, but nobody in the world is brutally honest to you like your mother, at least in my situation. My mother Hashem has no filters. Yemenite woman, she doesn't hold back, huh? She tells me things. Sometimes not so nice. 5 lbs, 6 lbs. No, no, no, no. 15, 20. Your mother. So when my mom tells me that I'm getting angry with her, no, cuz my mom wants what's good for me, right? What's the difference when somebody comes in and okay, maybe his face is a little bit more sour and maybe he's screaming and looks like his hair, you know, I went to the kids to the Steipler, yeah. He said, "Rabbi, I have a problem with anger." I told you guys this story, I know. I went to the kids to the Steipler Rabbi. He said, "Rabbi, I have a problem with anger." He said, "You have a problem with anger?" He says, "Yeah." He said, "What do you do?" He says, "How can I work on it? Rabbi, give me something. Give me an answer." He says, "You know what? I have something for you. Come to the office." He sits the guy in the room, puts him down in the chair right across from him. 5 minutes. Just making faces. Now the guy doesn't feel comfortable. Imagine sitting right now in front of the door. The guy's sitting over there making faces at you for 5 minutes. Sitting over there. Rabbi, Rabbi, should I go? SIT DOWN. HE'S Just making faces. After 5 minutes, THE GUY FELT so embarrassed sitting over there for 5 minutes. He didn't know what to do with himself. The Rabbi tells him, "I want you to know the way you felt for 5 minutes, the way you're looking at me, that's how other people feel like when you're screaming at them." What is the What are you This is what it looks like on the other side. Like a clown in the zoo. Like a monkey behind the cage. What does that mean? Why getting so worked up? Why getting angry? It's almost never an excuse to be angry. Period. It's almost never an excuse in your life. You're almost never find a reason to be angry. I'm about I'm right. It's almost never. Maybe for a shame killer even that is not clear. To be a zealot. Never excuse. Why? I'm not allowed to get angry? I don't think they do anything nice. They didn't do anything wrong to me. They didn't hurt my feelings. They didn't cheat from me. They didn't steal from me. It's not allowed [clears throat] to hurt me. Theoretically speaking, you should be able to hurt me, right? At the end of the day, a person has to understand. If everything comes from God, nothing to worry about. I don't know if I'm going to get into this class a little bit. I want to tell you one thing. I want to get you guys into one conversation I had this week. We know we count up during Sefirat HaOmer. We don't count down, right? Like you go for example, the during the New Year, 10, 9, 8, 7. Okay? A bunch of idiots. I never understood why they would go out like sardine cans. They would joke up to watch a ball drop. I don't understand it. Yeah, but they go to Manhattan and they have to wait 4 hours in traffic to sit over there like like sardines in a can to watch a ball drop. Then after then they come over there sweaty, they smell, they probably got a disease from the guy sitting next to them. Meanwhile they are not allowed to call this a ball drop. Is that right? So why are they counting down? 10, 9, 8, 7. You know why? Cuz they're so comfortable. They know where they're going. I tell them get to the office you know exactly where you're going. You're going [laughter] all the way to zero. No one to go from here. We don't know you would think we count up. Why do we count up? Every day we're growing. Right? Torah says when the Jewish people left Egypt, Hashem took them on wings of eagles. What's that? The wings Comes to Orakhaim. He says what's the wings of eagles? Hashem literally took us on wings of eagles? Huh? Anyone remember in the story of that Exodus? And the passuk say there? Huh? Zayde got to the table, huh? Tete. Aba, Saba the came and said to you My Rabbotai when I was boy, my grandfather tell me his grandfather tell him that his grandfather's grandfather's grandfather went on a wing of eagle. Saba says it's a big eagle. Yes. Someone said what is a wing of eagles? Says the Orakhaim, what level of impurity were we on in Egypt? Negative 49. What level were we on when we got the Matan Torah Shavuot? 49. Who here is good at math? You know if you're good at math? Any math people here accountants in here? Negative 49 to positive 49, how many levels? Huh? How much? No, no, no, no, not the between them. How much you have to go to get there? If I'm right now at negative 49, all the way to 49, 98. How many days? 49 days. I don't know. Says the Orakhaim, every single day Hashem took us out of one level of tumah and put us into one level of tahara. So every day we moved up two levels. That's called wings of eagles. And every single day we celebrate during Sefirat HaOmer one more step up as we're growing. That's what the the Mishna Pirkei Avot in the last chapter over there says that there's 48 attributes that a person needs to have in order for him to acquire Torah. You look over there and I believe it's 26 and 27. 26 says "Makir et mekomo." Knows his place. And 27 says "Sameach bechelko." Happy with his portion. What's the connection between the two things? First things first, "Makir et mekomo." What does that mean? What does it mean "Knows his place?" There's one way to interpret it, to know my place in the sense of that I don't get involved when the rabbi is speaking, maybe. Maybe. But maybe we're talking on the way over here. I told him I gave him a little bit of tidbits of the shiur even though I didn't want to, but he kind of forced that out of me, okay? "Makir et mekomo." It means a person in life has to know where he is. And I say this because I I feel that a lot of people in the world when you're a what they call a baal teshuvah. You guys know what a baal teshuvah is? A baal teshuvah is a person who wasn't born into religion and came back to religion. When they eventually get to a place where they become religious, they start to feel a get a feeling of jealousy. What jealousy? If only I would have started earlier. If only I would have started when I was 6. Then I would have already know all the Mishnayot. Then I would already know all Chumash. I would know all the Gemarot. I would be keep be be be be kibbutz shots. I would KNOW ALL THE POSKIM. I WOULD know every halacha in Shulchan Aruch. He's telling himself in his mind. That's a person who's not "Makir et mekomo." "Makir et mekomo" means to know your place, to know exactly where you are, and to be happy with exactly where you've come. How far you've come. As Hamelech says, "Enei kesil bektzei ha'aretz." The eyes of a fool are at the ends of the land. But the other side of the coin the Gemara in Maseches Tamid tells us Eizehu chacham? Who is a smart person? Haroeh et hanolad. So one hand Chazal teach us what? You have to see the outcome of your actions. Look into the future. On the other hand Hamelech, the smartest person to ever live says in Midrash Shir Hashirim Rabbah What does he say? The eyes of a fool are looking into the future. What's the difference between the two? Don't they seem to contradict each other? What's the difference between a person who's a fool who looks into the future and a person who's a smart person who looks into the future? Why is one wise and one is not wise? Cuz one looks into the future and says to himself, "I'm never going to make it." And doesn't do anything. One looks into the future and says exactly where I need to get to. You're right, I might mean I maybe it's far away. Maybe it's hard to get there, but I'm starting. Why? What does the Mishna Pirkei Avot say? "Lo alecha hamelacha ligmor." It's not for you to finish the job. However, "Ein atah ben chorin lehivatel mimena." You're not exempt from trying. A smart person looks and says, "You're right, maybe it's far away from me, but I'm going to go with it all the way." A person in life needs to understand, be happy where you came. If a baal teshuvah looks at a person who's a tzaddik gamur who was born religious his whole entire life and says, "I'm jealous of him." it's borderline kefirah. It's borderline heresy. You know why? Cuz Hashem teaches us that the place a baal teshuvah stands in a person who is really a tzaddik gamur cannot get there. So what are you saying? "Ribbono shel Olam, why did you do this to me? Why did you give me the opportunity to become above everybody else?" What is that telling Hashem? Spitting in his face. To say that I gave you a matanah, this is how you take it. To be "Makir et mekomo." To know his portion, to know his place, and to be happy with it. To know how far you climbed up the ladder. And you're right, maybe you're looking at him and it looks like he's on level 49, level 48. Everyone in the world looks like they're at a better level than you, right? But you're exactly where you need to be. What is the concept in the world we didn't speak about last week? What is the concept in the world called "The grass is greener on the other side." Heard of it? Huh? The grass is greener on the other side. Never been to the other side, but maybe the grass is greener. I love that. The grass is greener on the other side. "Kach shematem?" People in the world have a dimyon. Cuz Hashem teaches in the Midrash, Moshe Rabbenu, we didn't talk about him. Parshas Shemini. I don't want to take you guys too back, yeah? Parshas Shemini, the eighth day of the the the the the hakamas hamishkan. The putting up of the mishkan which is on the first of Nissan. The 23rd of Adar Moshe Rabbenu does the work every day. He gets to put on the big day clothes as says the Midrash. Which is interesting cuz really he was supposed to lose it. He was originally supposed to be the high priest and he was supposed to lose it. But Hashem let him taste it for 7 days. Why? So going back to perspectives, you can look at it as if it's a cruelty or you can see it and say to Hashem, "Wow, look how nice Hashem is. He gave him at least a try at it." So at least one time in his life he got to have a taste of it. But more so than that. Moshe Rabbenu got a chance to step in the role of Aaron and see what it's like to be a Kohen Gadol. And guess what? Aaron also got a chance to step in Moshe's place. She was when? When Moshe Rabbenu goes up to the Har, who's left to be in charge? Aaron and Chur. They kill off who? Who's left over alone? Aaron. And what ends up happening? Chet HaEgel. Aaron says, "Ze ze ta'ut. This not This job is not for me." >> [laughter] >> "This job is not for me. Moshe, I'm sorry. I maybe a few times I was a little bit jealous you're the leader." >> [laughter] >> The Midrash says, "TAKE IT BACK. I DON'T WANT IT." AND then Moshe Rabbenu, 7 days he gets to do the job of the Kohen. Pick it up, put it down, pick it up. Oh, my back is already killing me. Truth of the matter is the Midrash says that Moshe Rabbenu wanted it. But he was happy to give it over to his brother. But for us to learn the grass is never greener on the other side. It's the famous Chassidic parable of [snorts] a guy named Yisrael and Mendy. Yisrael and Mendy, okay? Yisrael and Mendy. Nachman Mendel and Yisrael, okay? Yisrael he was a water carrier. His job was to carry water to the town. And Mendy would fix watches. Good? Are their jobs clear? Mendy would fix watches and Yisrael would go with the buckets on his back and walk through the town and give this one water, give this one water, give this one water, so on and so forth. One day Yisrael is walking in the streets. His hands are calloused from carrying the stick. His back is hurting him. The water feels heavy on him. And he looks over to his left and he sees Mendy sitting over there in a nice velvet chair with a little magnifying glass looking at this little tiny watch sitting over there in the AC with a cup of coffee next to him and he's and he's fixing the watch. And he still tells himself, I say boss, what a mistake I did with my life. I should have went to become a watchmaker. And I'm sitting over here carrying water. And every day it continued like that. As he was passing through this block, every day he would look at this guy and say, what a I'm not a watchmaker. I'm so jealous of this guy. Look how he's relaxing, he's chilling in that velvet chair with the recline haha with the coffee. He's enjoying life. That's how he feels. That night Elijah the prophet comes to him. He tells him, look, I've been seeing the last week you've been plagued by this guy. I want to give you an opportunity. One week you're going to switch lives with Mendy. One week you're going to become Mendy, he's going to come be Israel. What? I want to say like we have a little longer. Can we extend the deal? Can I get an extension? What's the lease terms? >> [laughter] >> Triple net? He's trying to figure out what I have to do. I want to decide. He signs the paperwork. He wakes up the next morning in Mendy's bed. He's Mendy, I like Israel. He wakes up in the morning. He finally sees that velvet chair he's been looking at all this time. He sits down and ah and he starts to swivel. Whoa, he's doing spins, circles, his feet are kicking in the air. He's happy. Everything's good. Okay, now it's time to work. He has to make money, no? Takes out a watch. He's sitting over there trying to figure out what to do. He realizes his hands are maybe a little bit too big for the thing. He's trying He's working very hard. After about 3 hours of working, his back is starting to kill him from sitting on the chair leaning over with the glass. The eyes are starting to burn from the light that's coming from the watch. And he's like, okay. And now the store is completely silent, nobody in there to talk to. It's okay, 1 day, 2 days, 3 days the guy starts going mad. He's like, I can't take it in here anymore. I feel like I'm trapped. He sees Israel, he see Mendy walking outside with the water smiling, whistling. He's like, this guy IS LIVING HIS LIFE. I'M SUFFERING IN HERE. I'M STUCK IN this place behind this desk for so many hours. I'm suffering. I'm suffering. Habibi, you dreamt about this life. You dreamt about this life and now you're here and you're suffering. Yes. Cuz a person in life has to realize that life wasn't meant for you. Hashem didn't create you for that life. Hashem gave you tools exactly what you need to accomplish and only you can accomplish them. Every single in the world every single person in the world has something to accomplish. Something to achieve. And nobody else in the world can do what you can do. No one else in the world can fill your shoes, can take your role. When a person understands that, jealousy and envy leave the room. You understand? When a person understands we're all here in the world and we all have one job, the whole of Israel is like this all the all the Jews are intertwined. So when you're not doing your job, I cannot pick up the slack for you. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't. If me and you have to run a marathon, no matter how much I want, I cannot run a marathon for you, right? You have to finish it alone. But I want you to finish cuz if not our team's not going to win. You cannot pass me the baton for me to get to the finish line unless you get to the point where I'm starting. And I cannot go back and get you here. When a person starts to look at life and understand we're all intertwined in this one big this one big job, that every single person in the world is a holy is in charge of his own and therefore he can never step into my home. He can never step into my area. He cannot take anything away from me. No jealousy goes out the door. They open up a shop next door. Should I sell ah cut your thing? It's respectful. How dare you? Can you get a job over here? And can you get a job over here and I see in Queens they're doing it right. What's the truth? When we realize we're all in this together, that we all have one job in this all grand scheme of things, there's no more jealousy. No, I don't want to invite that rabbi. Oh, why don't you want to invite him? Oh, he's a good speaker. I'm afraid I'm going to go up after him. Who's going to go up after that guy? You know? Who's going to go up after that guy? Everyone's like, no, I don't want that time slot. >> [laughter] >> I want that time slot. Why? We're all in this together and I promise you guys, anyone who's come to Thursday night, I might show you. I bring other people in. When I'm sitting down in the crowd and I can have a whole class prepared. Cuz I gave a class on Monday, I gave a class on Tuesday, I gave a class on Wednesday. So I have a whole class prepared for sure, if not more than one. And I'm sitting in the crowd and I know that I have to speak for 15 minutes. When I'm sitting in the crowd and the other rabbi is talking, you know what I'm thinking in my head? How do I compliment his class? What do I have to say to add to his class? I don't want to take away. I want to add. I want to only be the side dish. I want it to be to be the dessert to his steak. I'm not trying to come over here and be the you know, come I'm a steak, yeah, but I'm also a steak. I'm a rabbi, he's no. That's a person who looks at life wrong. Doesn't realize we're all in this together, we have one job. If right now he's the steak, then let me be the dessert. Or if he's the steak, let me be the appetizer. My bad. Big deal. I'll open the door, let you come in. No, no, I don't want to speak at that time. I don't know. It's not for me. We all one job, all of us. When a person learns to look at life that way, things change. His outlook on life changes. I get a call this week. He tells me, rabbi, I'm struggling. So what happened? Financially. So what happened? He tells me the last few months I haven't made a dollar. The last few months I haven't made a dollar and it got to the point where I had to call my wife and tell my wife we have to go into our savings account. And I'm sitting over here and I say, why? Why? I told him, you know, let me tell you a personal story. And I'm going to tell you guys also a personal story, but don't share it with anybody, okay? You too want to turn on the time, don't share it, okay? We just broke the fourth wall. There was a situation a few months ago where I got the situation in my life first time in many many many years where I had a few extra dollars on the side. And I came to my wife and said, my wife, I know you always wanted to do the kitchen. All right, that's where my head goes. When money comes in, right away it's what how do I give to my wife? How do I want to I don't know. I have the same suit. >> [laughter] >> I have another this suit same size a few of them and recycle that's it. I said to my wife, what can I give to my wife? I know you've been asking for the kitchen. I want to give it to you. So let's maybe start doing the work. I said, okay, I'm going to call the contractor. He's going to come and we'll start doing the kitchen. That day I had a conversation with her, the next day something happened where almost things went what we call all the way to the side and all the money I put to the side, I had to give all of it to bills. All the I wanted to bills were crazy. I had to give all my money to the bills. So I told him, on one hand, what what's a person going to ask himself? Hashem, why? You took all my savings. I had savings to hold. I had savings that I was saving and I wanted to do something good with it and I had dreams with it and I had this and I had that. I told him that's completely the wrong way of looking. He says, what do you mean? I said, the says the after that. It quotes the in the second chapter. The after the after after my when I ask after what? After Hashem prepared the remedy for the curse. After Hashem prepared the remedy for the curse. I said, you're looking and saying, Hashem, how come you made me go into my savings? How come I had to do this money now? So you don't realize Hashem gave you this money now so when you would be here, you would have how to pay your bills. Cuz what happens if you didn't have those savings? Now you would be in debt 10 times worse. He's like, wow, I never seen it that way. I said, that's exactly how it works in life. Hashem gives you. Some people have this concept and I told them, listen, I'm going to say it in very light words. You ever heard of this concept of I want money for a rainy day? Huh? Just in case there's a rainy day. Now I don't know what a rainy day is. Rainy day in the foreseeable future or maybe not in the foreseeable future. I just want to know that maybe just in case when the day will come. I told him, I want you to know this concept of rainy day is 100% heresy. 100% heresy. If God provides for you today, why wouldn't he provide for you tomorrow? We spoke about last week, right? God said to him, whoever has who has to eat today and he asks for what about eating tomorrow, you know, he's a person who's lacking faith. Says the the question is he says, wait a minute. I don't understand this if he has money today and he he doesn't have he has what to eat today but he doesn't have what to eat tomorrow and he asks, then he's lacking faith. But if he doesn't have what to eat today, he's not lacking faith? Says the for sure he's lacking faith if he doesn't have what to eat today. Why are you asking? Hashem should give YOU ALSO FOR TODAY. IF YOU DON'T HAVE what to eat today and you're asking, you also don't have faith. So he brings the he says a person is not judged for that. But he asks a second piece. He says, back in the day a person used to eat his bread with jam. Okay? Compote. You guys know what compote is? Yeah? You guys heard of it? We heard it's a big thing in the Russian community. Compote. They come over there they give you a big barrel the size of I don't know Wisconsin. They throw waters in there, cranberries and I don't even know what those things are, okay? They give you a gigantic thing over there. What's cooking over there? You think it's stew. God forbid you drink it. God forbid you drink it. I'm trying to figure out what's in here. Is this borscht? What is it? >> [laughter] >> No, no, this is compote. It's okay. I'm getting over it. Can I mix the jam? So today I have bread and I have jam. I have bread for tomorrow but I don't have jam. Says if a person asks about the jam for tomorrow, he's even worse. Cuz if Hashem gave you bread for today, and he gave you bread for tomorrow, for sure he's going to give you jam to eat with the bread for tomorrow. What's the hidush? That a person understands that Hakadosh Baruch Hu is going to give you everything you need when you need it. You say birkat hamazon, right? Like you you give Hashem gives you what to eat when you need it. Not when you want it. When you need it. Not when you want it. Hashem, okay, okay, I'm just for what? No, maybe in the future. Hashem gives you what you need when you need it. And the guy tells me, you know, Rabbi, I have faith. I just ask myself one question. I said, what's the question? He goes, I have these three deals in a pipeline. What's a pipeline? I don't know there. Pipeline. I have three deals in the pipeline for the last 3 months. It's killing me. If Hashem would just close one of these deals, just one of these deals, everything would be good. I told him, "Oh, you have faith in God?" He says, "Yeah." I said, "You have faith in God?" He says, "Yeah." And what's your faith in God? I have faith in God he's going to close one of these deals. I told him, "You don't have faith in God. You have faith in the deal." Your faith is not in Hashem. Cuz if Hashem was your pipeline, it doesn't matter what's in the pipeline. Cuz Hashem is the pipeline. I told him, "Hashem can give you a deal right now. Call you on the phone right now. Someone can call you random number, 323 number, call you, pick it up. Hello? Hello, is this Benjamin speaking? And is Joseph speaking? Yeah, what's going on? Oh, I heard about you. I want to close a deal. 30 minutes, you can close a deal? 30 minutes you can close a deal? Boom, 40 grand, 50 grand. You can't, no? So, what does it make a difference what's in the pipeline? If Hakadosh Baruch Hu is your pipeline, then a deal can come in THIS SECOND. WHO CARES WHAT'S IN THE PIPELINE? A PERSON SAYS, "I BELIEVE IN GOD when things are going good." He doesn't believe in God, he believes in his bank account. When a person has a steady income coming from his job, he says, "I believe in God." He doesn't believe in God, he believes in his paycheck. Belief in God is not contingent on anything. It's not contingent on the deals. It's not contingent on what's in the pipeline. Belief in God is Hashem, God be with me no matter what. Pipeline, no pipeline, deal, no deal, this situation, can salary, no salary, job, no job. It's all a dimyon. It's all an illusion. He's out playing a game with us. He wants us to think about and you don't realize. I told him, "You want to know why these deals are not closing?" Kol haboteach bazulat Hashem, says Rabbeinu Bachya. Kol haboteach bazulat Hashem, masir me'alav hashgachato. Anyone who puts his faith in anything but God, Hashem takes off his faith from him. He says, "Okay, you got it. No problem here." And puts him in the hands with the one he had faith in. You had faith in that deal? Here you go. You deal with that deal now. You want these three deals for the next 3 months? You guys are going to be in a basket together, but I'm not getting involved. And what ends up happening? Rabbi, I haven't closed a deal in 3 months. You know why? Cuz you're waiting for those deals. Keep on waiting. Keep on waiting. Real faith in God is understanding that Hakadosh Baruch Hu everything he can. I just came back from California. My brother I was with my brother. Not LA. Everyone thinks that California is LA. I was not in LA. I was in Shalom. Okay? I was 5 hours in the north over there in I don't know some random neighborhood. My mom's hole in the wall. Not a nice neighborhood over there. But my brother is in Sunnyvale, California. But nobody knows where it is. Yeah? So, I'm sitting on one of the nights during the meals, I'm sitting across the guy He works a job. He owns a business. He used to work crazy hours, 9, 10, 11 hours. Now, I want you guys to understand the cost of living over there is not like over here. How much does a person need to close the month over here? Over there, just the rent on a house is going to cost you $10,000. Yeshiva tuition is about 30, 40 grand a kid. Food is another 20. I think about it. To close the month you need about 60, 70 grand. Big money. It's not a Chavie Kanievsky. Kanievsky again. It's not Kanievsky, okay? Big money. I'm sitting across the guy. I used to be working like crazy. He goes, "Rabbi, now I work 2 hours a day." How do you work 2 hours a day? He goes to me, "I started learning in the mornings and I wanted to learn more. So, I started learning even more. And I realized the more I learn, the less I have to work for my money." I said, "Really?" He said, "Yeah. So, let me tell you what happens. I go to learn, I don't pick up my phone. I put it on the side. I'm learning now. Shh. Everything's out. Nothing in the world matters. I'm learning. But there's one guy over there, another guy, that also learns. This guy is a multi-millionaire. He deals with all these big companies, Google, what's whatever you want. Yahoo, Yoohoo, no >> [laughter] >> Yoohoo. Yeah, all the big companies over there, Walmart, whatever it is. I don't know exactly the companies over there. Silicon Valley, you know what I mean? So, it's harder to reach the guy when he's learning than it is when he's working. When he's working, you can call, maybe he'll maybe three out of five times he'll answer. When he's learning, yeah, everybody have a vote. The whole world will die, you're not answering the phone. His phone is not even with him, it's in the car. He says, "Rabbi, I don't bring my phone with me. I learn." He comes out. He tells me just one story that happened to him the week before I came. I come out, I open my phone. I have people texting me and I see a phone call from a random number from Arizona. I pick up, I call the guy back. "Hey, how are you doing?" "Hey, how are you doing? I'm calling from Arizona." "Okay, how can I help you?" "I'm a contractor over here and I have a client who's moving over there and we need to zone for a job and I found you. So, I'm giving you the job." So, how did you find me? "I Googled you." "What did you Google?" "Contractor." "So, you know how many contractors are in the area? We're all Israelis over here. Everyone's a contractor, habibi." "Everybody, there's hundreds of How did you find my name?" "I found you." Hakadosh Baruch Hu in 1 second can guy a guy wake a guy up in Arizona and say, "Hey, call this number." Hashem is the one who closes deals, not you. Hashem is the one who brings money to your table, not you. Period. When you understand that, your reception of reality changes. Perception. Why did I say reception? Okay. Maybe the reception is okay. Maybe your perception of reality changes. I'm missing the P, big deal. Left the P in Pesach. >> [laughter] >> Your perception of reality changes. You start to see life differently. Cuz everything you know is your best. And therefore, you come into these days, you're literally climbing the ladder cuz every single day you have to do something, you have to do some type of work. All the students of Rabbi Akiva, 24,000 of them are all dying. And one day Shulchan Aruch says they start passing away on the 33rd on the 33rd day. Says the Chasam Sofer, the Gemara says that the students of Rabbi Akiva passed away from Pesach until Atzeret. From the holiday of Pesach until Atzeret, it's 49 days. How many days did they really pass away? 33. Why does the Gemara say 49 days? Says the Chasam Sofer, to teach you, remember that we mentioned in Pirkei Avot, it's the 48 levels. To teach you that it was the 48 levels that one of them was missing. And which one was that? 32. What's 32? Lev. What's lev? Ohev et haberiyot. Loves his fellow Jews. And that's why when did they start passing away? On the 33rd day. Why? Cuz on the 32nd day they did avodah for the 32. And on 33rd, nigmarah gzeirah. They fixed what they needed to fix, the gzeirah ended. As soon as they finished 32, 33 was already done. 33 was already done. Machlokes how long, how much of the day. Not important. Ashkenazim, Sefardim, big difference. Okay? Cuz you can see I'm machmir. >> [laughter] >> I'm being machmirim, okay? Even this year. Al hamaseh. A person who works on loving his fellow Jew, and every single day he's working on another thing he needs to do to get better. Working on anavah, working on something every single day. Then these 48 days, like we said last week, don't just count the days. Make the days count. Be you. These days no longer become But the question is now, why 48 now, why not 49? There's 48 attributes that Torah has. What about the 49th level? Huh? So, two different answers. One says that the one The first one, you can't start without Hashem. Second answer is, you can't finish without Hashem. What does it mean? Well, we mentioned in the Mishna in Pirkei Avot, lo alecha hamelacha ligmor. It's not for you to finish the job. Good. The person has to do his maximum. He has to do every effort he can to get to the highest level he can get. But as soon as he gets to 48, he wants to get to 49. At that point, it's 49 for you. Now, Hashem has to give you his hand and pick you up. Hashem has to come down to you from 50, give you the hand and pick you up to 50. The last level Hakadosh Baruch Hu needs to be there for you. Everybody knows the famous parable with this I'm going to finish cuz time is already running out. I don't want to keep you guys here all night, even though we probably could, okay? I didn't even get into the Akiva. I have 18 pages of it. >> [laughter] >> I'm joking, 80 pages. Yeah? So, the parable with the king that he wanted to marry off his daughter. You guys may have stopped me, you heard it before. He wants to marry off his daughter. He said, "Okay, how am I going to marry his daughter?" You can imagine now, the princess wants to get married. Everyone wants to get married to the princess, no? Huh? Hakadosh Baruch Hu, I got a princess also. Al hamaseh, everyone wants to get married to a princess >> [laughter] >> Everybody in the world wants to get married to a princess, so you can imagine everyone from the kingdom came. He says, "How are we going to differentiate between these guys now?" Okay, we're going to do a challenge. The king created a throne that was like 500 stairs or something crazy. 500 levels up. Much mugzam. So, whoever gets to the top floor marries my daughter. Now, not 500 stairs. 500 steps, you could do it easily. Understand my style. Again. 500 levels. Each level, who knows how many steps. Much mugzam. Whatever the story came to mind, I'll tell you guys a different time. One time I went to Florida. I'll tell you now anyways, okay? One time I went to Florida, unfortunately, I had to go give a shiur. But I had to go to Florida. So, I was staying in a hotel, they put me in a place over there. The 37th floor Shabbat mode. Over Shabbat. 37th floor over Shabbat. Rabbi, what's the problem? I'll tell the to tell the to tell the goy's cats, dogs, elevators, sister. Can't they press the button for you? And you go. I told him, you do whatever you want to do. And I climbed up and I walked up 37 flights of stairs. You understand? Shabbat, I walked down 37. >> [laughter] >> I got to shul, I was sweating. I came up, I went down. I came up, I went down. I came up, I went down. I came out of Shabbat 10 lbs under. I said, "My mom My mom was happy." Okay? >> [laughter] >> Okay? I got to all these stairs. How am I going to get up there? And they all start coming. One guy comes over there, he starts stretching his hamstrings, he's doing all sorts of stretches, all that. They all start running. And one by one, they start falling down like flies. They get to the 248th floor. There's only two guys left. One looks at the other guy, he tells him, Listen, habibi. 248. When I get in the 500, I can barely walk. My back is not killing me, killing me was already by 50. I'm already out out. There's no way I'm doing it. The other guy is crawling. >> [laughter] >> Up the stairs, he's already on the floor, he can't get up. He tells him, "Listen, man, we're not doing it. It is what it is, we're not making it. We one. There's many fish in the sea." Okay? It's okay. The guy leaves. But, the other guy says, "I'm not leaving. I'm going to crawl up one more flight of stairs." What's it going to help you? One more flight of stairs. He crawls up from 249 to 250. And at 250, he looks up, he sees an elevator. He presses the button, he goes all the way up to 500. This is a muscle a person in life. You have to do your amats. You have to do your effort. You're right, 500 is very far away. But, you don't have to get to 500. You have to get as far as you possibly can. And if for you that's 10, good. If you it's 100, great. If everyone in the world has their level and they get to it, Hashem says, "From here on, here's my hand, I got you the rest of the way." I'll pick you up the rest of the way. So, let's take these days as a hisuk for ourselves. Let's do what we need to do, let's do the introspection, be honest with ourself, and do the work we need to do, and work on ourself, and work on ahava chinam. Work on loving other Jews. And to really love another Jew, says the Kli Yakar, you have to understand ani Hashem. Love your fellow Jew, I'm God. Why is it over there? To teach you that in order for you to love your Jew, you have to understand Hashem is the one who created the world. If you understand Hashem created you and Hashem created him, and everything that happens in the world is between just a conversation between you and God, he's only a messenger, then you'll love everybody. You'll see the virtual bank account going up, you can't be upset. That's our job in life, to understand Hashem is the one in control of our life and everything that happens to us, the virtual bank account is going up. And if we see that, then always be happy. We'll never harbor anger in our hearts to anybody. We'll understand that we're all part of one big unit. So, if they open up across the street for me, if they open up down the block for me, if they cheat me, if they steal me, at the end of the day, it's not my job. I got a phone call this week. He just interesting question. I'm not going to give you guys the answer to the question. A guy was working as a locksmith. He went to certain warehouse. I'm not going to tell you which warehouse cuz I don't want to get him in trouble. He went to certain type of warehouse, calls me, says, "Rabbi, I have a question for you." I said, "What happened?" He says, "I went to a warehouse that was closing down. They hired me to change the locks. Another locksmith hired me to change his lock in his warehouse that's owned by a corporate company. I came over there, I changed the first two locks. The third lock was an office. Okay? Office room. In the office room, being the place is already, you know, on the way out. In the office room, I saw a box of gift cards. I told myself, "Look, you never know. Maybe they have money on them." So, he decided to test one. So, he took out his phone and he scanned it. And he scanned the gift card and lo and behold, there's $100 on it. And now he couldn't return it because the money's on his phone, not on the gift card. He calls me after he left. He didn't call me when he was still there. Yeah, he called me after he left. He says, "Rabbi, what should I do now? I have $100, the money is not my own." So, what we're supposed to have a bra? Even if it's a gaza is one of stealing from a is not allowed. 100% not allowed. So, you're 100% over a suit of right. You should know this. Don't play. You made a big problem here. I told him, "What are you thinking?" He said, "Look, rabbi, I'm in this place. I have a box of gift cards over here. I said to myself, the cleaning crew is coming after me. If it's not me, it's going to be Jose. At least I take the money." If it's me or him, I know at least I can steal it, you know. It's me [laughter] or that other guy over there, Mexican guy is going to come after me. He's going to steal, I'm going to steal. At least I'm going to steal it. I told him, "You know what you said right now?" I said, "What?" "You pass by a house, you see the door's unlocked. >> [laughter] >> So, you know what? Someone else is going to pass by and steal, so I might as well also break in and take whatever I want." He said, "You know, rabbi, yeah, it comes to be what you just told me." >> [laughter] >> So, now, what did I do? I gave him an answer. I'm not going to give you guys the answer. I will remind you, 100% it's a suit what he did. And the money's not allowed. I will remind you, you see. Tell me something, people that set themselves up for stories. Yeah, no. What you stood? No. Just because another person in the world is a ramai, just because another person in the world is a bad person, does not give you a hit there, a leniency to be a bad person. That's their account with God. You have your own account with God. I have to be good. You want to be nasty, you be nasty, I'm going to be good. Just because you were mean to me, doesn't mean I have to be mean to you back. It's not like a eye for an eye. Torah says eye for an eye, I'm not eye for an eye. Shinta tachas shin, ayin tachas ayin, and that's the Torah, not me. I need to be clean with Hashem. You have your own relationship. I don't care what you do, Jerry. I love you, I want you to be good. I might say, just because you were not nice to me, doesn't mean I have to be not nice to you, right? That's the reality of the world. And the last thing I'm going to touch on, I have 2 minutes, yeah? 2 minutes, guys, come on. 2 minutes, believe me or not. >> [laughter] >> Last story. No, I'm not promising. No, no. Last story. Guy goes to the hospital. They all know, one nurse said over a situation that happened in a nursing home. There was an old lady who was over there. She already was an older age and she was starting to get senile. Every day her husband was visiting her. Every single day her husband was visiting her. So, the nurse one time came to her husband and said to him, "Look, she doesn't even know who you are. Why are you still coming here?" He says, "You're right, she may not know who I am, but I know who she is." In life, we have to always think about other people, right? We got to see the other people as well. Not only see ourselves. We do good for other people, it's not supposed to be like some people online. They want to do good things, they post it on YouTube. I'm giving away $10,000. I'm giving away a million dollars. I'm giving away a new car. It's not going to work out. >> [laughter] >> Take off the video camera, see if you give it away. No. Cuz they want other people to see. But, real kindness, real love to another Jew is not when it's beneficial to you. It's actually quite the opposite. It's when it costs you something. Even when it's difficult for you. That's what real love looks like. Real love is not, "Oh, yeah, I have what to gain from this." No. I may have nothing to gain from this. But, I'm doing it because you need me to. A guy will go by the train stop. And he had a job interview. He sees a bum on the train freezing to death. He's over there almost hypothermic, turning purple. He had a job interview to get to. What are you doing? Going to the job interview? You're helping the guy. The guy takes off his jacket, puts it on him, keeps him warm, stays with him 10 minutes, loses the job. His friend asks him, "Are you crazy in the head? You had a job interview. Someone else could have come by and saved him." He goes, "For 10 minutes, I was exactly what that guy needed." So, I didn't get the job, big deal. But, I saved him. Real love is I do what's good for the person even when it's detrimental to me. That's the highest level. The highest level of love is even when it's detrimental to me. Even when it's difficult for me. Even when I have to give a shul when you need me to come watch the kids, I'm still going to do it. Because that's what real love looks like. It's not contingent on what I have to gain. It's not contingent on what I have to benefit. So, when we go out today, we have one assignment. How do I love every single person around me? Not the people who are easy to love, the people who even are difficult to love. And even when it's detrimental to me, when it's hard for me to love you, that's exactly when I need to love you the most. So, we should always take away these lessons to grow in these days. We should come into the holiday of Shavuot kolanu ke'ish echad belev echad, which is the prerequisite to getting Matan Torah. Kol hakochot you.