Rabbi Jonathan Rietti: Getting Ready for Shavuot

We're preparing for Shavuot. The actual title for tonight is There is no mitzrayim I cannot take you out of. Shavuot 3,338 years ago minus 48 hours God spoke to the Jewish people. It was a one-time revelation. That revelation is what makes Judaism completely unique. We're a one kind of religion because there's no other religion that's actually true, by the way. There's no other religion that's God spoke to. All the other religions are man-made. Some are made in China, some are made in India. They're all man-made. Artificial, fake. This is the only one that's real because God spoke to an entire nation of witnesses and said the mitzvah of emunah, which correctly translates as conviction and certainty, coming from the word amen. Amen means I agree this is true. So, you're actually acting like a witness when you say the words amen. The mitzvah of emunah comes from the opening statement God made at Sinai. Anochi I am Hashem Elokecha. Hey here is the abbreviation for the name of Hashem in the Torah, which is yud and hey and vav and hey. That is itself is an abbreviation for hayah hoveh ve'atid, I was, is and always will be. In translation, it correctly translates as constant. The translation Hashem is not is not accurate. It's just a icon. It's an iconic word. It's not an It's not a translation. Yud kay vav kay means was, is and always will be. He is the constant Elokecha. El means power. Elohecha, your power. I am your power of powers. I power all powers. How do you know? Asher hotze'ticha, because you saw water turn to blood. You saw earth turn to lice. You saw wind blow the arbed, the locusts, from the east to the west and back again. You saw darkness for all the Egyptians and complete daylight for the Jews simultaneously. You experienced a power that's controlling water and earth and wind, fire, barad, hail. You saw all the elements in creation, wild animals. Well, not exactly wild, because they only attacked the Egyptians and not a single Jew was scratched. You saw, you experienced, you witnessed my power control all powers until the very last makah, the last plague. 1 second before midnight, every bechor, every firstborn Egyptian is alive. 1 second later, they're all dead. I control life. I control death. I control animals. I control the fish. I control water. I control earth. I control There is no Mitzrayim I cannot take you out of. The verse ends off mibet avadim, from the house of slaves. What do I need What do I need these two words here for? I You've already announced that you're the power of all powers that took me out of Egypt. So, what are the last two words, mibet avadim, adding that I wouldn't know from before? So, the word bayit, unfortunately, we only translate one way, but actually means inside. Bet in front of a word means permit's rhyme in Egypt, but by it in the house. By it actually doesn't mean house, it means home. Because the house is the building on the outside, home is reference to what's going on inside. When Noah in chapter 6 was told in Genesis when Hashem told Noah to build the ark, he told him to cover it because with pitch me bite or me hoods from inside and outside. Bite means inside. Avadim means slaves. I've I've taken you out of Egypt, but I'm going to take you out of any Egypt that you ever experience in your personal lives. Because what is a slave? By definition, if I'm a servant, a slave, there's an Adon. There's a master. The Jewish people were slaves for hundreds of years in Egypt in preparation for transforming themselves over 40-year period to become the servants of Hashem. Slaves to para, servants to Hashem. Me bet avadim means from inside slaves. Mean I I'm a slave to food. I'm a slave to my sleep. My sleep rules me. And if the food rules me, who is the Adon? Who is the master and who is the slave? If I have an addiction, I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey. But fortunately I turned myself around. When when we're when we when we suffer, I'm a slave to my boss. I feel like I I have to do everything that the boss says and I have no freedom. I don't come I can't be creative in the job as much as I actually want to be. And before you know it, in my mind I'm actually a slave to all sorts of things. If I'm a slave to food. And this food is the Adon, is the master. How do I get out? So Hashem tells me in advance, "Anochi Hashem Elokecha. I am your constant. Yud Ke Vav Ke means constant. Elokecha, powerful powers. There is no Mitzrayim I can't take you out of. Mitzrayim is two words, Metza Yam. Metza means a barrier. Yam is an ocean. An ocean is a metaphor and it's literal. It's a metaphor for an abundance of potential. Yam is an ocean. 50% 50 50% of our oxygen actually comes from plankton. Those the mineral organisms in the ocean provide 50% of the oxygen that we breathe. 1/3 of the entire earth is served every day from fresh fish which comes from the oceans, the rivers. Yam is literal. We have electro hydroelectric plants that turn water into electricity or we actually are able to take electricity from water. It's not literally the water but it's driven the the turbines. Yam is potential and it's literal. Metza means a barrier. Mitzrayim means I can't escape because there's barriers around my potential and God says, "But I can take you out of any Egypt." And Metza is a lashon, Metza Yam. Metza Yam. The two letter root of Metza is Tsar. Tsar means narrow. When I think my potential is narrow, I cannot. I won't even try because I'm not going to succeed in this marriage, with this child, with this boss, with this career. I'll never be able to become learned, so why should I even make the attempt only to to fail. In all areas of life, always persevere. Except one, if you failed the first time and did not succeed, skydiving is not for you. Mitzrayim means that Paro, who's made up of two words, Paro is two words, peh rah. He's a bad mouther. He puts me down. He's my bully. And it doesn't have to be a person. It's most likely me who's my own Paro, who set me up in my mind, I'll never change. I'll never be able to change my spouse. >> [laughter] >> I'll never change this teenager. True. It's 100% true. You know why history repeats itself? Ask any parent who's got married children, and you'll understand that whatever you say is going to go through one ear, out the other. Your time was until they were 12 for a girl, 13 for a boy. Pretty much after that, there's almost nothing that you can do to They are set. They have to learn from their own mistakes. Life experience is the best teacher. I personally tell people what Rabbi Berel Wein says, don't don't bother punishing your children because one day they'll be parents. They'll have kids, so never mind. So if I if I'm a slave to the food, help me God. Hashem says, "Yeah, you can go on lots of diets. There's lots of diets out there, thousands of them, but you can turn to me also, because I took you out of Egypt, and the biggest message I told you at Sinai is that I can take you out. But, my part of this is I've got to turn to you for you to take me out. And what gets really interesting is how does David Hamelech, you know, he wrote five books of Tehillim, five books of love songs. Hashem wrote gave us five books of the Torah. David Hamelech's five books of Tehillim correspond to Hashem's five books of the Torah. Hashem speaks to us through five books, and we speak back to him through these five books of Tehillim, which is essentially 1-800-ALMIGHTY, talk to me. God says, "I'm your therapist. I can get you out of any tsar. I can get you out of any pain." Tsar is the two-letter root of pain. It's also the two-letter root of narrowness. I can get you out of anything, but you got to turn to me. Where do we see this? Cuz David Hamelech in Tehillim, perek pei aleph pasuk yud aleph, David Hamelech uses the same verse, but with a slight change. Same words. I am your power of all powers, and I'm your constant power of all powers. Wherever you are, I'm there. Wherever and whenever you are, I'm there, in time and space. And there's no mitzrayim I can't take you out of. Sorry. Anochi Hashem Elokecha asher malacha me'eretz mitzrayim, who elevated you from the land of Egypt, who elevated you from the barriers of my potential. I took you out in order to get you out of your own personal mitzrayim. How do you do that? Harhev pikha. Open your mouth wide. When you open your mouth wide, what happens to your mouth? What do you notice when when someone goes like this? For those still awake, what what's going on? What message are you sending when you open your mouth wide? Your your face what what facial expression do you make? When you go like this. Is your mouth wide or narrow? When your mouth is wide. Oh, you're smiling. You're happy. Harhev pikha. Open your mouth wide. It can also mean scream. Scream to me. Tsaakti elakha. I called out to you. I screamed to you, vaterpaeni, and you healed me. Oh, if you can take me out of any Egypt, any mitzrayim, there's nothing you can't take me out of. So, what's my part? Harhev pikha. Open your mouth wide and smile. Be happy because God is there to take me out. What do I have to do? Open my mouth and beg him. Talk to him. Harhev pikha. In Sefer Sefer Kodesh. In Helek Bet, it tells us Harhev pikha. Open your mouth wide with gratitude. Ve'amalehu, and I will fill it. What does that mean? The more we say thank you, God says, "Oh, let me give you more reasons to open your mouth even wider with more gratitude." But if I go to the opposite and complain. Why me? I'VE DONE SO MUCH GOOD AND THIS IS MY DIAGNOSIS. What is it? I tried so hard to make this marriage work, and I'm complaining and complaining, and now my mind is narrow because I'm not paying attention to the good in my life, in my wife, in my spouse, in my house, in my health, in my wealth. I'm not paying attention to what's good in my life cuz I'm so busy. Harchepicha says God through David Hamalech, "Open your mouth wide with complaints, the Amalek, and I'll give you more reasons to complain. I will fill it with more reasons. Oh, you think this is good? Let me show you more good. Oh, you think this is bad? Hoho, it could be a whole lot worse. God forbid." And whose choice is it? It's my choice. If you can get past the first three words of of first three letters in the word diet, you're going to be fine. A a new study just came out that indicates that um women who put on just a few more pounds live much longer than their husbands who mention it. There was once a a cute kid. It's my I don't know, 6 years old little girl, and she stopped her 4-year-old from going on the on the um uh you know, where you where you where yourself. What do you call it? Scales, thank you. So, she was in the scale in in her mom's bathroom, and the 6-year-old stopped her and said, "NO, DON'T GO THERE." SHE SAID, "WHAT WHAT HAPPENED?" "DON'T GO THERE." "WHY?" "EVERY TIME MOMMY STEPS ON IT, SHE BURSTS out crying." "It makes you cry?" Who controls my mind? Is it something outside of me, or is it my mind? That is where it's all at. Shavuot is actually the celebration of God giving us the most incredible statement. There's no mitzrayim I can't take you out of, and you know it because you just experienced me take you out of Egypt. I split the sea. And now I'm giving you not a statement of what happened historically. Thank you. Thank you very much. I'm giving you a statement of what you can carry with you between your ears for the rest of your life. There is no mitzrayim I can't take you out of. You know, there's even slavery to money. You remember Paul Getty? I don't know how many people here remember him. He was in his early 80s when he was on a interview on national television. Uh multi-multi-billionaire. This is going back a few decades. And he was still working, like very long hours every day. So, the interviewer asked him what You know what? You've got enough money to retire all your unborn great-grandchildren. Uh Oh, how much more money do you need? And his answer was astonishing. A little bit more. So, who controls his world? Is he in control or the desire for more money is in control of him? Slavery is not just in Egypt. What am I a slave to? And sadly, my biggest par'o is not outside of me. It's the par'o. It's the bad mouth inside of me that tells me I can't. I'm I'm not going to change. It's not worth trying. And so then, I don't improve my marriage, or I don't improve my relationship with my child, or I don't improve my relationship with me. Comes along David and tells us the secret, and it's so ridiculously embarrassingly simple. Thank you so much. What's your name? Ethan. Ethan. Jonathan. We share almost the same name. Thank you. You're very well brought up. >> [laughter] >> It's a good boy. Yes. Thank you. Lechaim. Lechaim. Baruch atah Adonai Eloheinu Melech ha'olam shehakol nihyeh bidvaro. Thank you. Is it possible that I could be a slave to chesed? To kindness? That I'm involved in so many different organizations or one or two, but it it sucks the hours out of my life that I really put it before my own children, my own spouse, my own health? I could be a slave to a lot of good things, but God tells me if it's hurting me, talk to me. I'll help you. Help me find the right people to talk to. Help me find the right experts who can help me untangle the para the pera that's going on inside my mind. Para is the same letters as oref. Oref is the back of the neck. That when someone goes like this to you, it's very impolite. It's a statement of, "I want nothing to do with you. I give up on you. I walk away. I turn my back on you. I give you my neck." Para wants us to believe there is nothing I can do to change. He's bad-mouthing me, and he's turning away as as though to say, "I can't help you. No one can help you." And says, I can help you, and all you have to do, says David Amalek, is open my mouth with gratitude, with thank you. What should I be grateful for? What should I be grateful for? There's so many issues in my life and so many things I'm juggling that it seems that my mind is mostly occupied by the challenges that I am facing on a daily basis. So, help me. What You're telling me that the solution is gratitude? How does that solve the problem? So, I'm going to touch on the following. I'm going to give you an example of a a different way possibly of looking at mental health and mental illness. So, I have here a sheet of paper and I'm just going to place and ask you what what do you see here? What do you see here? So, Rabbi Jonathan Sacks, uh of blessed memory, the chief rabbi of England, I'm just going to put the mic down for a few Can you hear me? Oh, that's good. You can? Yes or no? If someone said no, that could be a problem. If I said, "Can you hear me?" and you said, "No." How How did that [laughter] happen? Can you hear me clearly? Okay. So, I'm going to put the mic down for a few moments. You can all see here a large sheet of white paper with a black dot in the middle. So, I'm going to ask you the following question. When I ask This is Rabbi Jonathan Sacks' question. He had an audience about 400 people with a sheet of paper that was about 12 feet high and about 20 feet long with a black dot in the middle and he asked the audience, I'll translate, he asked the audience, "What do you see?" And they said, "Well, we see this black dot in the middle of the paper." So, he said, "Well, no, actually this is graph paper and this one dot occupies one out of 6,000 spaces." One out of 6,000 squares. When I ask, "What do you see?" How does the mind ignore 5,999 spaces and go straight to the dot? So, he said something phenomenally simple and profound. The black dot is bad news. Now, the media, which is the world I came from, my father was a famous actor who's in over 250 movies and he employed me hundreds of times for commercials. So, I feel very comfortable and confident to tell you that every commercial is brilliantly manipulating our minds. Every commercial works on the exact same predicate. You can't possibly be happy until you drive this model. Smoke this brand, drink this drink, vacate this island, wear this label, are on this diet or this exercise program, etc., etc. And then you'll be happy with your life. You'll be happy with your face, your body. In Hollywood, do you know they haven't got the exact number cuz it's but it's close to 90% of the Hollywood beauties have had at least one to three surgeries of plastic surgery. One plastic surgeon runs an organization called Plastic Surgery Anonymous and one night all the people in the audience says, "Oh, it's so nice to say see so many new faces. One famous couple in Hollywood got divorced and they remarried after 4 months and when they were asked what what happened they said the the divorce didn't work out. WHEN I'M UNHAPPY it's because I think that when I drive that car, WHEN I LOSE WEIGHT, WHEN I GET this career, when I get those letters behind my name, when I am able to get a PhD, when I get married, when I get divorced, then I'll be happy. When I have children, then I'll be happy. When the kids out of the house, then I'll be happy. And before you know it, I'm playing this game of chasing a target. And the bad news is the media because how does the media sell me news? Which news sells? The good news or the bad news? And in order to sell the bad news tomorrow, what do they have to come up with? More bad news. Listen very carefully. Listen very carefully. The reason why the bad news gets my attention is because it's news. Congratulations, 5,000 people got married today. Congratulations, other no after after tens of thousands of uh jet planes that have taken off or landed safely. You're not going TO HEAR THAT. IT'S NOT NEWS. Thank God you woke up this morning, your lungs were working all night long. And so was your liver, and so was your pancreas, and so was your spleen, and so was your heart. That's not news. A person gets a heart attack, God forbid, for Shalom, or a stroke, a mild stroke. That's news. That gets my attention. One second, But how much good news is taking place? And David SAID IT. HOW DO I SAY IT? He is the most qualified king of gratitude. Why? Because he said as it is. He lost four children in his lifetime. Told us of Neve'im says he lost another four in the last year of his life in the plague. Eight children in his lifetime. That is horrifically tragic. He was rejected by his entire family until 29 years old when he was anointed to be the next king. His father and brothers were in total shock. David was rejected by his own family. In the world of psychology, if you put rejection of a parent and all your siblings on a scale of zero to 10, it will break the scale. It's probably at the at the top one, two, or three items that causes a person to feel I have I have nothing to offer this world. I'm a nobody. David was the most qualified to say "I'm grateful." I'm grateful. Really? You? You were You were betrayed by and Doeg. You were betrayed by your own son Absalom. Tried to set up a rebellion against you and almost the entire Jewish people turned against you. What are you so grateful? Why are you saying thank you? Key type. How do I say it? Key type. Key type. Why are you grateful to God? Because he's good. Yeah, but don't you Don't you What about all the black in your life? So David said, "Yeah, you're right. The black is real. The pain was real. But and this is the big piece here. If I'm going to count the bad, and it's a huge if. IF I HAVE A RIGHT to even tell you what's wrong in my marriage, with my children, with my mother-in-law, with my father-in-law. If I have a right to tell you what's wrong with my career, with my boss, then I should follow my own logic and also tell you what's right with my spouse, my children. So, the double amount of faith, yeah, I was very honest with Hashem. I poured out my heart to Hakadosh Baruchu when I I told him about what's not going right in my life, but this is what I found myself in a dilemma. Very simple dilemma. If I'm going to tell you what's bad, and the scales go like this, then at least I have to also tell you what's right. And then he said, "This is what happened." Once he started telling you what's good in his life, the scales went like this. Kilo olam, chasta, hit, the kindness is unlimited. So, I want to share with you a possible way to look at mental and mental illness and mental health. If it sounds like a chiddush to you, it sounds new, let it be. But, I'm taking I'm going to share with you the exact mekorot, the exact source for this. The Gemara tells us, the Talmud says, page three in Sotah, ein adam over avera, avera, no one does anything wrong unless nichnas bo ruach shtut, unless he goes crazy, insane in that moment. He has a mad thought. When I have hatred towards another person, where's the hatred taking place? In my pinky? My elbow? My kneecap? Where where's my hatred place? In your head. Usually I walk back and forth. It's good for my exercise. Exercise, oh no, I forgot to go to the gym this morning. That's 7 years in a row. Um You didn't get that? I don't know. After Pesach was a a Pesach program, they fed so much food that I got this new fitness app and I punched in all everything that I ate and the app sent an ambulance to my house. You don't get it? Okay. Don't get it. And Adam, all that Ruach Shtus means a thought of madness. I've got to be insane. When I'm hateful, where's it taking place? It's a thought. When I'm jealous, where's jealousy jealousy taking place? In your pinky? In your elbow? No, it takes place over here. These are mitzvot of the mind. I'm share with you some of the mitzvot of the mind and they are all listed. Sefer Haredim lists a list 81 mitzvot out of Taryag. 81. Actually, he's actually only listing all the mitzvot that apply nowadays, which is 270. So, 81 out of 270 is how much? What's the percentage? Anyone help me with the math? I'm not so good with math. My professor told me the name of the guy who who invented zero, so I said, "Please tell him thank you for nothing." I'm so bad at math, I can't even count how many times I failed. So, what what's the percentage of 81 or 80 out of 270? 30 33 Ask ChatGPT, what what's the answer? You want to take a vote? What's 80 as a percentage or fraction of 270? Ladies, any accountants here? So, what's the percentage? What's 80 plus 80? 160. Plus another 80? It's about 32%. So, 1/3 of the mitzvot as counted by Sefer HaChinuch that apply nowadays, 270 mitzvot, 81 are mitzvot of the mind. Emunah, where does that take place? To trust God, that's a thought. When I worry, how far am I away from changing my mind to a new thought? You're one thought away. Exactly. I have a friend who uh was thinking of taking a having a a brain transplant, and then he changed his mind. Boy, doesn't work here at all. Okay, I'm going to I'm going to stop the I can't do American jokes cuz I don't find them funny, so I'll have to drop the British humor if I can. You you you get them. Okay, good. You want the mic? You can't hear? The The mic gives off a lot a bigger echo. You're okay with that? Okay. Over here is mental illness. This is mental health. Mental illness is when I refuse to forgive you. Mental illness is when I'm in hatred, when I'm in a thought of jealousy, when I'm in a thought of I wish I had what you had. That's besides jealousy, Hamda is an issue, is a f- a prohibition of of finding ways to get what you have. That's a separate issue, a separate prohibition. When a person will not let go of his anger towards someone, it's called netira. Netira means I'm holding on. I'm guarding things you've said or done that hurt me and I'm not letting go of that memory. That is called mental illness. If I do it enough, if I stay in here long enough with my hatred, my anger, my resentment, my bitterness. If I don't let go of the negative memories, guess what happens to this black dot? It becomes a black hole that won't let any light out or any light in. It's rather like watering the weeds. You have a beautiful garden. It's gorgeous and you take care of it every day. And then, guess what happens? One day you walk into your garden every morning go for OH, NO! THERE'S A WEED! NOW, WHAT'S the logical logical thing to do if you find a weed in your garden? You weed it out. How do you weed it out? You snip the top off? You rip it out from the roots. Now, what happens if you see me go into my kitchen, I fill up a canister of water and I pour it on the weed. Are you going to say that's logical or are you going to say that's illogical? That makes no sense. And the next day I come and see the weed has grown more. What are you going to say to me? That's illogical. What are you doing? Water and I water it again and water it again. And I water it every week, every day. Sometimes I have more than one watering I do double watering sessions. And I water the weeds and water the weeds. Guess what's going to happen to my garden? Help me. What's going to happen to my garden? The weeds will take over the garden. And then when I complain about the weeds in my garden, what are you going to say to me? I brought this upon myself. Para is para. And I get so fixated on what's wrong in my life and I talk about it and think about it, guess what I'm doing to it? I'm feeding it. And a memory of what happened yesterday is exactly that. It's a memory. It doesn't exist today. It happened. It's gone. A var means the past. It happened. It's history. It can't come back unless I give it life. How do you give life to a memory? By talking about it and thinking about it. And telling other people about it. And paying to talk about it. Until eventually my life gets so filled with weeds that I'm put on medication. Because I can't I just can't fall asleep at night. And I can't I can't think >> [laughter] >> It's I'm just driving and the black hole starts to suck in. You can try and humor me and I'll say, "BUT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH." And I start listing all the black dots that happened to me yesterday, a week ago, a year ago, 10 years ago. "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND I'VE BEEN TRAUMATIZED?" [screaming] I'M OLD ENOUGH TO TELL you that when I was growing up, the only people that that term was ever associated with was Holocaust survivors. It It was too strong a term to apply to Oh my gosh, Mom, I just got off the [laughter] phone with her. I'm so traumatized. What What happened? We have created an industry out of that black dot to the point where when I'm on the phone scrolling, I'm not interested even in the good news. I'm looking for worse bad news. More people died. Another terrorist attack. And what ends up happening is I start living a life of fear. Where's that taking place? It's in my mind. Yeah, but it's real. Well, if if it's real, and I'm not saying it isn't, if you're going to use the logic, but it's real, then tell me about the logic over here. You're still walking, talking. You can see, you can hear. Oh, is that good? Is that worth counting? The problem really is this. When I'm living in the world of gratitude, then guess what happens when the black dot appears. Guess what happens when we see a weed. We can handle it. Cuz we're coming from a place where Har Picha, the mouth has been opened wide with words of gratitude and thank you. And God helps me to figure out, how do I deal with this black dot? This black dot's all the time. But there's so much more white. There's so much more good that even David Hamelach, who our sages tell us in Midrash Shocher Tov, Tzaddik base, uh uh chapter 92 of Tehillim, that he suffered more than Iyov, more than Job. Over 12-month period, Iyov suffered the most, but over a lifetime, David suffered more than Iyov. He's the most qualified to tell you you can live a life of gratitude. Cuz if he was just the king and the wealthiest man in the country, and he had the best connections, which was all true, and did not suffer, had no problems with Absalom, had no problems with with Tamar, who was abused by Amnon, and Amnon was killed by Absalom. Absalom goes into exile, and when he comes back, eventually actually usurps the authority of his own father and starts what was almost a successful rebellion. David Amalek had one long string of tragedies, scandals, and difficulties throughout his life. And yet he is the one who says, "I AM SO I'M SO GRATEFUL." YOU'VE GOT TO BE JOKING. You're you're totally in denial. And here is well, he'll answer that. Denial is when you deny this and get stuck on this. This is denial of reality, cuz the reality is life is good. How good? As much as you can possibly count. But if I'm not counting, So our sages, you know what they did? They did something extraordinary. You were supposed to talk to God from Sinai onwards. You're supposed to open your mouth and speak to your therapist. His number is 1-800-Almighty. It's a free call, 24/7/365/120. The mitzvah of tefillah is to talk to God in your own words. 1,800 years ago, our sages saw that even though we got the mitzvah to talk to God 3,338 years ago, we were losing the discipline of talking to Hashem spontaneously. And because we're about to go into the last of four really, really difficult exiles, Edom, our sages actually legislated that you have to talk to God using a script. And the whole purpose of Shacharit, the morning prayers, is not the Psukei D'Zimra, that is preparation. The Korbanot all preparation. It's all preparation for the middle 13 blessings in Shmona Esrei, in the standing prayer. And those 13 blessings are all about asking Hashem your needs. And what came before that? Praise and thank you. You start off your day thank you God for my eyes. Pokeach ivrim. Thank you I can see 3D. Thank you I can see full color. Thank you for my spine. Zokef kefufim and my spinal cord, my nervous system. Every single sinew and muscle and bone that's attached to my skeleton, my nervous system and my spine. Zokef kefufim, thank you. I don't want to go a day without saying thank you for the obvious. Malbish arumim, thank you for my wardrobe. She'asani kol tzarki, thank you for providing me all my needs, specifically my shoes. It's a simple I'm saying thank you for my shoes every single morning, really? Yes, God says please pay attention to the good cuz you're going to be able to handle the weeds, the black. You're going to be able to handle it much better. But if you GET FIXATED OH WEED, >> [screaming] >> NO. THIS IS GOING TO DRIVE ME MAD. I WORKED SO HARD ON MY GARDEN. The garden is your mind. The weed is anger. The weed is sinner. Hatred. The weed is jealousy. She'asani kol tzarki, every morning I'm repeating you have already asa li. You've already made for me kol tzarki all my needs are there. I'm missing nothing. Living a life of plenty. And then when the black turns up, I can handle that. Because I'm not in a space of anger, bitterness, resentment. But Hashem wants me to know at Sinai I gave you the greatest gift in the world, the Torah. And guess what the Torah is made of? 613 instructions, and out of those instructions, 81 have to do with how to think. How to respond when things go wrong. So, I'm going to share with you something which I believe is really, really true. You're never married to your wife. You're never married to your husband. You're only married to who you think they are. And when you change what you think about them, guess what happens? Your mind, which in in Lashon Hakodesh is actually da'at and also lev. Unfortunately, the Christian translations only heart, but the word lev most of the time actually means mind. The reason why it means both I've a heart to love Hashem bakhol levavkha with all your thoughts. Lev when it's doubled over is thoughts. I'm not I'm not I'm not trying to fool you over here. You can look it up. Mishnah Berakhot perek tet mishnah hey. Love Hashem bakhol levavkha bishnei yetzarikha with both your yetzer tov and yetzer hara. The yetzer tov is machshavot tovot and the yetzer hara are machshavot ra'ot. Look at Likutei Moharan from Rebbe Nachman of Breslov on Torah number 49, first chelek, and he explains to you a yetzer tov is not some sort of mystical or magical voice in my brain that is actually trying to pull me away. It's not an evil inclination. It is a bad thought. The yetzer tov is a good thought. The yetzer hara is a bad thought. And all our mitzvot of the 81, they're divided. Forgiveness, that's a good thought. Ahavat Yisrael, that's a good thought to love love your fellow Jew. Ahavat HaGer, to love a ger tzedek, a convert, a righteous convert, that's a good thought. Ahavat Hashem, that's a good thought. These thoughts can fill us the whole day. Gratitude, that's a good thought. See, what David Hamel came to tell us when he said the meaning of the pasuk when Hashem said it, he said, "I am your power of all powers and I'm constantly your power of all always, everywhere, all the time." Asher Malacha, who elevated you from the land of Egypt, from the land of narrow potential barriers to your potential. Harcheb picha, open your mouth wide, the amaleu, I will fill it with more reasons to be grateful. David Hamel is here to teach us something very simple. Live a life and be grateful or be a great fool. And I can't get out of my complaining. The worst avera, and I can prove it to you, the worst violation in the entire Torah is complaining. It's the worst one. How do we know? Because if you look throughout the Torah to identify what were the consequences of complaints, you will see that it was immediately worse than anything else we ever did. What's worse than adultery? Well, Hashem said you committed adultery under the chuppah because going with the golden calf, the Gemara tells us in uh Shabbat tzadik bet tells us that adultery under the chuppah was what we did when we took the golden calf at Sinai. Aluba kala, she's inta tachat ba'alah. That's pretty bad. But we didn't get we didn't get 40 years in the desert because of that. We got 40 years in the desert because we said lashon hara. Lashon hara is a complaint. Think about it. Lashon hara is a complaint. Even if it's true, it's still a the We complained about God's gift to the Jewish people, the land of Israel. And God said, "That's it. I'm I'm about to bring you to the best land in the world. And it was reserved for you, and you're complaining about it. Fine, you don't get it. Not only will you not get it, I'll reserve this night of tears for the rest of history till Messiah comes, that this night will be Tisha B'Av. The destruction of the first temple, the second temple, the Crusades, Inquisition. Second Second World War, all started on Tisha B'Av. So, what's really happening over here? God is inviting me, "Harcheviha, open your mouth wide with screams of complaints, or open your mouth wide with thank yous and gratitude." He wants me to be a grateful person, not a great fool. We got the worst consequences for ingratitude. The first one who did that, unfortunately, was Adam Harishon. Hashem wasn't even angry with him for eating from the tree. Look at the pesukim. He ate from the tree, and Hashem said to him, he didn't zap him straight away. He said, "Haminha eitz asher tziviticha, is it possible that from the tree I commanded you not to eat achalta, you ate?" Now, what Hashem knew the answer. Why was he asking him a question? Why didn't he just zap him straight away? What What was Hashem What was Hashem hoping Adam would do next? By asking him a question, what was he supposed to respond? "I made a mistake, chatati." Chazal tell us Medrash Aggadah on that pasuk. Perek Gimmel. In Bereishit, in Genesis, Hashem said, "If If you had said, 'Sorry, chatati, I made a mistake,' one word, I would have forgiven you." So, WHAT WAS HIS ANSWER? "HA'ISHA!" [screaming] "THE WOMAN!" WHO'S HE BLAMING? ISHA NA'ATA IM ADI, THAT YOU gifted to stand by me. Whoa. Who's Adam blaming? So, what's God's answer? I'll deal with you later. He turns to Hava. And he asks, "Why did you eat from the tree?" And he's asking her a question hoping she will say one word, "Hatati." And our sages the same measure of God on that pasuk says, if she said sorry, "Hatati, I made a mistake." Hashem would have forgiven both of them. She had the power in one word to bring complete forgiveness to the whole family of mankind. BUT INSTEAD, "HA'HA'HI HI'HI'ANI, THAT SNAKE PERSUADED ME." And now we begin the blame game. Adam's blaming Hava, Hava is blaming the snake. And the snake had no leg to stand on. Actually, he did at that time. Uh That's when Adam brought death to the world cuz of ingratitude. In fact, the Gemara tells us near the beginning of Avodah Zarah, it tells us, "Mikan, from here, the way Adam responded Ha'isha she na'ata li, it's that woman that you gave me. Hashem called him kafui tov, "You ingrate." I gave you a partner to stand by you, support you, each other. And you go and blame instead of taking responsibility? You're already into the black hole. How do we know it was a black hole? Ladies and gentlemen, help me. What was the first command given to Adam? A little louder. Don't eat from the tree. What? So, don't eat from the tree is actually in verse 16. In verse 17. Perek Gimmel, the the the one pasuk before he received a command, what was it? That's in perek aleph pasuk kaf chet. That was a command for all mankind, it's true, but what was the very first command he received? What? So, the Midrash on Kohelet on that pasuk says that Hashem took Adam throughout Gan Eden and said, "You have the power to destroy my world, be sure you don't." The context of this is the following. Listen carefully because it might shock you if you didn't realize this. The first command in the Torah directly to Adam, and you're right, pru urvu is is really for all of mankind, is the following. Vayomer Hashem Elohim, Hashem is using his name Yud and Hey and Vav and Hey and Elohim. In the same pasuk, vayitzav vayitzav, sorry, and Hashem commanded, that's Yud Kay Vav Kay Elohim, Hashem of all the power of all powers and the one of rachamim, it's all one. Command, vayitzav is a powerful command, al ha'adam. Whoa, this this is heavy. What is it? WHAT IS IT? MIKOL EITZ HAGAN, [screaming] FROM EVERY SINGLE tree in Gan Eden, ACHOL TOCHAL. EAT, ENJOY. HOW MANY TREES WERE THERE IN Gan Eden, do you know? Sefer Hayashar tells us there were over 800,000 trees in Gan Eden. Every single one tasted different fruit. The bark, the twigs, the branches, the leaves, all had a different taste. You cannot begin to imagine the ecstasy, that's not a drug, I'm referring to Gan Eden, the the ecstasy of living in Gan Eden and the first COMMAND WAS ENJOY LIFE. PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO THE GOOD SO MUCH GOOD. OH, BY THE WAY, that tree in the middle of the garden, don't eat from it. The the eight stars of era don't eat from the eight stars of era cuz if you do, the day you eat it, you're going to die. Give me a break. YOU'VE GOT 800,000 TREES. Why did you have to go for the one in the middle? You the only ONE YOU TOLD WHY DID YOU GO THERE? Adam had a reason. I'm not going into it now, but he he knew he had dots alien. Dots alien means he had no parents to blame in therapy for how he turned out. I have a friend who's a therapist. He he put out a whole new ad. It's great. He says it's never too late to have an unhappy childhood. Guaranteed traumatized within three sessions and no money back. Comes along a kind of spark of it says Adam, please eat from every tree cuz every time you eat, guess what's going to happen? If you chew, what's going to happen? Help me. When you chew, what happens to the surface area of the food? It decreases or increases? Increases. And as it increases, what happens to the taste buds in your mouth? They have less or more exposure to the food as you're chewing and chewing and chewing. More exposure. So, by chewing and chewing chewing, you end up enjoying it longer. And you are not allowed and you can't really talk when you're eating. It's very dangerous because we don't want the trachea to open up and then food go down the windpipe, God forbid. And so, one should not be speaking. Ain ma'asikin besudah. It's a a law in in Jewish law, it's even a Mishnah, perek vav, Mishnah bet in Berakhot, don't speak during a meal. It's very dangerous. If people are eating in the middle of a meal and someone gets up and says a berakhah on wine, you're not allowed to answer amen cuz you might answer amen and in doing so food in your mouth might go down the wrong side. Don't do it. It's a in Shulhan Arukh, kuf ayin, I believe it is in Orah Hayyim. Ein masihin besudah. Don't speak while you're eating. And look at the Rabbenu Yonah on that Mishnah in Berakhot, perek vav, Mishnah bet, he tells you because your mind is on the swallowing. You're busy chewing. When you're chewing, you're chewing and chewing and chewing, you've got time to talk inside your mind and pay attention to the taste of this dark chocolate. And while you're tasting it, you are paying attention to the blessing God's given you. This food is nurturing me. This food is giving me energy. This food is actually going to turn into me. And if it's meat that you're eating, you're taking the food that the animal ate, which is the grass, which was made from sunshine and rain and soil, and now you're elevating every part of creation cuz you're eating an animal that becomes part of you. And when you do mitzvot, the mitzvot are done by that animal and the grass or vegetation that he ate and any gilgul, any neshamah, any soul that had to return Rahmana litzlan in any of those parts of creation is now elevated through a Jew eating that food with a berakhah and thinking, What are you supposed to think when you're eating? I love you. you're so good to me, you're so kind. There's so much good in my life. And I'm supposed to be appeased to God while I'm eating. It's a It's a mitzvah to be appeased to God. And God taught us that when he did something very strange. God has no body. God's God does not smell. And yet in perek het, chapter eight of the book of Genesis, you'll see there parshat Noah. Noah, he comes out of the ark and he sees total devastation. He falls on the ground in uncontrollable tears. He says, "God, why didn't you have mercy on your creation?" And what did God say to him? Ro'eh shoteh, you foolish shepherd. YOU HAD 120 YEARS BUILDING the tebah. Do you know what the tebah is? The ark. Do you know what lighting they had in the in the ark? Do you know? It was floodlighting. You didn't get that floodlighting marble floodlighting? Oh, no, never mind. Which was the most dangerous animal in the ark? The woodpecker. >> [laughter] >> Okay. Yay! I got him to laugh. Okay. Oh, you were laughing at your friend's joke. Okay, never mind. This is mental health. This is mental illness. Don't go there. I can make myself ill. My body can get ill. In fact, one of the halachot in the same siman in Shulchan Aruch kuf ayin, it's talking about the behavior at the meal. Actually tells us, "Don't be angry while you're eating." Listen carefully because what I'm about to share with you is ridiculously embarrassingly simple. Everything you do affects the entire creation. Everything you say has a ripple effect on the entire world. Everything you think affects everything. Not just your immediate surroundings. Professor Emoto has a book and and a fascinating DVD on the messages of water where he takes a water molecule taken from the same source of water and put it on a dish. Petri dish and puts it in the refrigerator and it crystallizes after he said kind words to it. The same water source is then placed another drop of water on a separate dish that's placed in a refrigerator after it's spoken to ugly, unkind curses unkind words. And then after it crystallizes, you will see that the kind words can be a thank you. You can say I love you. Whatever it is that you're saying to the water, it crystallizes in perfect symmetry. It's mind-blowing. Get the book, Messages of Water, Professor Emoto. And then the the water that's cursed unkind words or you play heavy metal music instead of kind words and and and good lyrics as opposed to the crazy lyrics on on on rap and heavy metal. And what ends up happening is the water crystallizes into something that's so distorted. It's actually ugly to look at. You go like, "Mhm." It's astonishing. What he's demonstrating is that when you say words and then he did it with just thinking and it came out the same results. There's a book called The Intention Experiment. Couple of hundreds of pages and it's all about plants that have been spoken to and then thought kindly about. And the same plants from the same soil, same a different seed of the same plant is then unspoken unkindly and see how they both grow. And then they did this experiment on a much higher level where they're getting people to pray every day for a particular person who's got a a terminal disease and see the difference. We are all connected. When you're eating your thoughts go in the food. There's a spiritual connection. And that food affects your heart, your stomach, your intestines, your gut. The food that is being broken down inside your stomach is integrated throughout the entire body. That which is wasteful and the body doesn't require, it will expel. All the rest, it is thrown into it, goes into the bloodstream and it's circulated around the entire body and your cells receive all the nutrition inside the that came from your stomach into the blood. All the enzymes and all the carbohydrates, all the proteins, the fats, everything you need goes to your cells and the cells are brilliantly designed to turn it into energy. But, when I'm thinking, I'm dying, I'm I'm depressed, I'm so angry, I'm so and I'm eating, it goes into the food. Don't do it. Don't do it. When I say I'm going to die, all the cells in my body listen. There's no point in me fighting. What am I living for? My cells listen and they say in resonation, let's resign. What's the point? It's It's the If the mind, which is everything, that's all you really have, says there's no I The para The power inside of me is saying, "You're limited. You can't You'll never change." My body listens and then it doesn't lose weight. It's the It doesn't maintain its vitality. We are the control tower. God gave us the instructions at Mitzrayim. And when he took us out of Mitzrayim, he gave us the Torah. We're celebrating clarity. You gave us the ability to know that when we eat, it's not just about eating. One of the worst things I can do while I'm eating is watching a screen. Where did the whole packet of biscuits go? Oh my gosh, I can't believe I What happened? And the answer is my Where was my mind? My mind is on the movie instead of the food, and so I am putting into the food whatever's going on inside my mind that I'm taking as an interpretation from what I'm hearing and seeing. Don't be angry during eating. It affects the guts. It affects God forbid a person can get ulcers. The whole world is connected, and God told us, "I can get you out of any mitzrayim you're in." There's more to say on this important subject, but I'm going to go through it very quickly. Mechila. That means forgiveness. That's mental health. Zerizut, alacrity. Getting things done, that's mental health. Busha, being afraid, ashamed to do the wrong thing. That is mental health. Anavah, being humble, giving gratitude to God that if I succeed in anything, who He is the one It's a verse in the Torah. He is the one that's giving you koach, the power laasot chayil, to be successful. Chapter 8, verse 5 in the book of Deuteronomy. Anavah is humility. That means that one ascribes one's successes to God. It's a matanah. It's a gift. It's not me. Shtikah. >> [laughter] >> This is This is huge. Shtikah means silence. It will solve most problems. Nedivut means generosity. That's a thought. Hesed starts with a thought, kindness. And David Hamel is the one who says olam hesed yivaneh, you built a world of pure kindness. And he couldn't stop paying attention to it. So that when the dots turned up, and there were a lot of dots, black, that turned up in his life, his default was "Hodu Lashem." I'm going to pick myself up saying "Thank you." Really? After what you've just been through? No, keep trying because God is good. Yeah, but look what you're going through. Okay, I'll look, but then I've got to look at this, too. And if I look at this, too, ki le'olam hasdo, his kindness is unending, it's forever. Simcha, >> [laughter] >> happiness is reality. God created happiness. He created it. You actually say under your chuppah, and you say it for the next 7 days to get the message in. Asher asher asher simcha asher asher asher, asher is a language of of of gratitude, of happiness. Look at Rashi, perek dalet pasuk kaf bet in Vayikra, he'll tell you asher is lashon ashrei, it's a language of happiness. Asher asher asher simcha, Hashem created sason is outward happiness, when you're smiling, when you're laughing, when you're dancing, that's your body on the outside, even if you're not feeling or thinking it. Simcha is actually what you're paying attention to, there is reason to be happy. Eizo asher asher sameach bahelko, he's paying attention to his headache. What's his portion? Oh, he's alive. Oh, he can breathe. Oh, your your heart's working. You can walk, you can talk. Should I take that for granted? Can someone slip and get hashlamah what in one moment have a stroke and half his body is paralyzed? Every single day, thank you, Hashem, for my spine, Zok eif kifufim. Vatran, huge. Let him go. The English translation is horrible. Sacrifice, give in. It doesn't mean that. In Lashon Hakodesh, it's a perfect language. Vatran comes from the word yoter. Rab Shamshon Raphael Hirsch points this out. Yoter means gain, more. You gain more when you let go. Do you know why? Who's going to sleep tonight? YOU LET GO. How do you pronounce it again? Vatranut, Vatran. Vatran is someone who is let's go. Vatranit is a a lady that let's go. A Vatran is a male. Vatranut is the name of the actual middah. Besimcha means in simcha. Help me. Machshavah. What does machshavah mean? Thought. What do you notice about machshavah and besimcha? Same letters. You see, where does happiness take place? It's not in the order. It's a a different configuration. It's the same letters. Your happiness is a choice that takes place over here. A person could be a Paul Getty. A person could be have all the money in the world and most unhappy person in the world. A person could be a Michael Jackson and he and he can make a most incredible movements with his body and please people with his voice. And yet, if he's constantly changing his face because he doesn't like what he sees in the mirror, he'll died an unhappy person. Very sad. Very It's really a tragedy. Elvis Presley died a very unhappy person. He died of depression. He had He He overdosed. He he overeating. A person can have all the fame and and popularity, but if they're not the simcha where it counts, over here, it's not going to work. Don't have good. Judge others favorably, including myself. Tefillah, talk to me, says God. Talk to me. I can do anything for you. Emet, being honest, being real. Avat hagair, love for a convert. Teshuvah, changing your mind. Teshuvah is one thought. You're one thought away. All of these are thoughts. This is mental health. Avat Yisrael, loving another Jew. Yirat Hashem, being in awe of God. Love Hashem. Avat Hashem. Emunah, trust Hashem. Complaining, this is the big one. It's It's in red. Mitlonen, oh, bad news. Bad news. That's what gets the worst consequences, cuz God says, "Harhev pikha, open your mouth wide with gratitude, but if you do complain, then I'll the amalei'hu, I'll open it wider. I'll fill your mouth with more reasons to complain. Don't go there. It's not worth it. Sa' ayin, having a an eye on other people that you don't like it when you see they've lost weight. They graduated. They They gave birth to another child. Uh sa' ayin, don't go there because the wider your eyes are, the more you see the beauty in others, the more God says, "I will bless you." David Hamelech, the first words that Shmuel Hanavi said about David Hamelech when he saw him, is hu tov u'm'yaf einayim. He's got beautiful eyes. And we're not talking about the eye shadow or how it We're talking about eyes that saw beauty in everyone. Akhzariyut, cruelty. Khanifut, flattery. Like God can't give me blessing unless I get it from this person by flattering them. Shaka, not being honest, telling lies. Come come some wood. Being very very How do you say come some wood? Cheap, very cheap. There was a the biggest come some who lives in LA, very very like extremely miserly. He was in a taxi once. And as the taxi took off, the driver said to him, "Look, I have to be honest with you. The brakes are broken." So, the miser king said, "Stop!" He said, "I just told you I can't stop because the brakes are broken." HE SAYS, "NO, [screaming] STOP!" "WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU? I JUST TOLD YOU THE BRAKES ARE" "NO, STOP THE METER!" COME SOME WOOD MEANS MISERLY. As though my money is mine and I and the richest man in the graveyard >> [clears throat] >> is not really something to write home about. Kaf et tov, being ungrateful. Gavah, that I attribute every single virtue to myself. Oh, it's my business acumen. Oh, it's I got good business skills. I've got good people skills and that's why I'm successful. No, no, no, no. It's all a gift. Ten lo mishalo says King David, "Give to God from what you have. Ki ata because you v'shelcha and everything you own is shelo, is God's." In fact, there's no word in Hebrew for belong. Did you know that? It cuz it says yesh lo, there is to him. Right now he's got it. In the grave, don't I don't take anything with me to the grave. Someone just offered me a burial plot in on Har Hamenuchot. I said, "That's the last thing I need." >> [laughter] >> Marah sh'chorah, depression. Don't go there. Depression is an illusion. Yes, I know there are people who are medically depressed. They didn't wake up that way when they came out of the womb. They didn't come out of the womb, "I'm depressed." It doesn't work like that. Children are bouncing off the walls. Depression, you have to work on it very hard to get to the actual point where you're so down that I can't see anything except weeds. Weeds, weeds, weeds, weeds, weeds, weeds. But if I'm going to count the weeds, got to count the rest of the garden. Atzlus, laziness. The worst laziness is up here. I'm lazy to be grateful. I'm lazy to count what's good in my own spouse, my own children. I'm lazy to open my mouth and say, "I love you." I because and fill in the blank. Atzlus, all bad news. Sadness. Gossiping. Badmouthing other people. Iron heart. A bad eye. Kaas, anger. Daaga, worry. Getting into quarrels. Kina, jealousy. Nikama, one of the worst, revenge. Netira, remembering other people's things they've done wrong to me and others. And sina, which destroyed our two temples. All these are thoughts. This is health and that in the middle is a choice to be unhappy. And in the in the merit of knowing that God loves us so much, he has really filled our lives. I don't know what happened with my thing, but he's filled our lives with so much good. It's there for the taking. Eizu ashir, who is the health Who is the wealthy person? Has some mayor behelko. He's counting what's good in his portion. Well, how much is his portion? And the answer is however much he counts is what he's going to see and that's what God is going to say, "Really? You call this good? Let me give you more." Oh, really? You call this bad? Let Let show you what's really bad. It's Happiness is a choice God gave us at Sinai. And we still have it today and as a result of that, we should all be so happy but simple heart in a happy way to reach the time when Messiah will come and we'll joyfully return to Israel. Amen.