Rabbi Gavriel Friedman | Shavuot: Transforming Relationships | CHAZAQ

Welcome everyone to tonight's very special sheer. Being presented by the Hasaka organization, all star youth minion, Amudim, and UJA. A very special topic tonight, Shavuot transform relationships. We have the great author here momentarily from Rav Gav Friedman. This sheer is being dedicated in loving memory of Jack Friedman, Yaakov Yosef ben Natan Nata, zichrono livracha. Um dedicated by the Marmorstein and Free families. Thank them We thank them for their dedication. Of course it's also l'zecher nishmas Rav Yechiel l'zecher nishmas Rav Yechiel Yitzchak ben Leah, Rav Pair, zichrono livracha, one of the big roshei yeshiva's of our generation. And also dedicated to refuah shleima of Hodaya bat Sheva bat Hamutal Shifra, refuah shleima of Batya And um of course we thank Amudim for their partnership on the event. And we want to thank Moshe Rafael from the shul, the entire All Star Youth Minyan, which is a beautiful kibbutz. Thank you so much for being with us. And um we know about the Hasaka organization of course organizes shiurim and events through communities to give chizuk, to give inspiration, and has a big focus on public school outreach programs in over 20 different locations, inspiring the the the youth. It has a special division called public school yeshiva which has transferred since 2017 over 1,600 students from public school yeshiva, baruch Hashem. So if anyone knows of anyone who has kids in public school and a relative or neighbor, um please let them reach out to the Hasaka organization. And it is our our we're going to call upon the the rubber of the shoe of Sham Rafaela for some brief remarks. Um first time speaking in front of such a big crowd, but I want to thank everyone for coming and thank all the sponsors, which was already mentioned. And I want to say one thing, we're coming upon the holiday of Shavuot and we know it's the holiday of Matan Torah, receiving the Torah. What better way to receive the Torah first of all to hear from Reb Gav? And and for every single one of us to strengthen ourselves in Limud Torah. And if you guys look around your chairs, you'll find that there's a sheet with some all the different learning programs, classes in our shul. And there's zero zero excuses. You live in the Queens community, in Brooklyn, wherever you live, there's zero excuses for for a person to grow, to learn Torah, to come closer to Hashem, and prepare yourself before the holiday of Shavuot. Thank you for listening and it says the good the merit to have Reb Gav. This is my first time meeting him one-on-one and A lot of Rivkas here tonight. You know who you are. Okay, I don't know this is Rabbi, you're killing me here. I don't know what's going on. I can't do this. All right. All right. So we are rapidly approaching rapidly approaching this holy day, which comes just once a year. But this particular idea I would like to share with you is about um what exactly is Shavuos? Now forgive me for the Sefardim that pronounce it correctly, Shavuot or whatever you guys say. I'm working on it. I'm not there yet. Shavuos. So come to Shavuos. What is Shavuos? What is the in in one word, if you could just tell me what it is, go. Giving of Marriage. Uh one second. The transforming relationships. Okay. Give me one word. What is it? Torah, finally. What's Torah? What do you guys say? Okay, what do you gentlemen what is it? Good. Okay, well said. Well said. All right. So the answer that I was looking for, some of you guys got it. The answer that I was looking for particularly was anniversary. That's what I was looking for. Now marriage is correct. Marriage is correct. It's it's it's not just close. It's actually 100% accurate. It's more accurate than I would say as every single holiday, every single speaker must mention. It's like a classic thing. If you don't mention it, you're not really a speaker. That That's not true by the way, but okay. But that would be You're going to go to another talk. You didn't mention the thing that speakers mention. Are you sure you're a speaker? So this is actually You don't have to mention it. But the Ramchal famously says idea that we know that the way that our calendar works, right? And so what's happening now is as we approach Shavuos, Shavuot, this idea of Shavuos is not something which we're reliving, but rather I'm sorry that we're commemorating. We're reliving it. Right? This is we're actually reliving it. So marriage is more accurate. Marriage is more accurate. Anniversary is if we're not there yet. We're not there yet. It's okay. At least we're commemorating such an idea. But it's meant to be that we're really going through it again. It's meant to be that we're actually feeling the energy. Spiritually it's there. Spiritually speaking, the energy of Matan Torah, of the marriage between us and Hashem is happening again. It's it's we have it's going through again. Now I do have to point out something because it's it's challenging sometimes. When you want to give a mashal about something, you want to give like an example, a parable, whatever, and somebody has in their life experience something not so good. So that it ends up being like that's a terrible example, right? So the mashal. I I I heard that uh I probably should verify this before I say it, which means I'm going to say it anyway. And then afterwards, hopefully it'll be verified by someone. I heard that when Rabbi Wallerstein spoke years and years ago and he spoke to a group of girls and he was talking about the idea He was talking about how Hashem is like your father. Hashem is like your father. Is this accurate what I'm saying? You know Are you talking about the video? What video? The one where he screams outside. Say it again. He screams outside Hashem are you listening or something? I like this. Keep going. What happened? I don't know if that's what he was talking about but then exactly he said it during my class. Shh. So that's one story. But another story is So you'll tell me about this one then. And he went outside and he he screamed Hashem are you listening? Yes. No, I'm kidding. All right, so so I like this. So here's the Like that's WHAT I JUST SAID. ARE YOU LISTENING? IT'S LIKE MARRIAGE. ARE YOU even listening to me? You know, so uh So anyway, the story is that he gave a talk and he spoke to a lot of girls and he's talking about how Hashem loves you. Hashem loves Hashem is like your father. Hashem is like your father in heaven. He loves you. He loves your father in heaven. He loves your father. Father. Our father loves you. Loves you. Loves you. Father. Father loves you. Loves you. Loves you. Loves father. And the and the sheer bombed. That's not good by the way. You have to know which way to use something. It was the bomb. But this it wasn't the bomb. It bombed. This is the difference between the two. If you say to someone you're fat, that's not a good thing. But if you say to someone that was fat, that's a good thing. You know, it says it's about how you use it in the context. Some people are going to be like what is happening but others understand what I mean. No cap. So what happened is that he really didn't do well. It did not go well. So somebody So you don't understand what How could it have not gone well? Like what what what was wrong with what I had said? And somebody said to him, "Rabbi, you have to understand you're speaking to a whole room of girls that had really bad relationships with their fathers. And then you keep telling them Hashem is your father. So all you told them was is Hashem hates you. You hear what I said? Or at least that's how they feel about it. Now although maybe that is true. So then again, does this story make sense? Does it so far make sense? Yeah? So then from what I understand that's why you went into explain a lot more. If you take a look and you see throughout throughout the No word to use here. the Jewish literature you will find that Hashem is called many things to us. He's considered Avinu, our father. He's considered Malkenu. He's considered a Yedid. There are many different things that come up of Hashem is a Re'ah, Re'aha. Rashi says Rafta Lo Re'aha Kamocha. It's talking about Hashem. He's like a friend. He's a lover. a confidant, a spouse, a parent. There's all these different things. Why do you have to say all those type of things? Well, because if somebody had a bad interaction with one of those things, there can be at least something that we can grab hold on. Yeah, what you got? Well, I was going to say it just kind of depends on what relationship you have with Hashem. That's right. That's right. That's right. So you have different times, you have different interactions, and different experiences. But this particular point was about how if you can't connect here, you can connect here. You can't connect here, you can connect here. But I will say like this, interesting. And and it's something which I I think is important to get. Is it true that a person maybe has a particular handicap in having a relationship with Hashem? If Hashem is called our father, and if you had a father that wasn't a great father, or at least you perceived it as not to be a great father. Is it true that that that can and be a little bit challenging to have a relationship. Yes or no? Of course yes. Answer is yes. Is it true that it could be a handicap? The answer is yes. Straight up yes. And it's like let's just validate you life is bad. All right, so now that's clear, how can we make it good? So the way that I like to bring out this point, although it's certainly not easy, but I think it's immediately easy and then it's just hard to put into practice, but it's immediately easy to understand and to grasp. I've yet to meet somebody who when I asked them if they're interested in someday starting a family and having children, assuming the answer to that is yes. If not, it's a different discussion, but assuming the answer to that is yes. I then will ask, "How do you feel about your child?" And I'm talking to someone who's not married. For those that are not married and or like do not have children, "How do you feel about your child?" What's the answer? I love them so much. You love them plural, okay. I don't Or maybe it's a pronoun thing, but the point is I'm not getting into it. Yeah, yeah, this is America. I don't know what's happening here. But uh I don't know in Hebrew to say ani ohev otam. kol kach harbeh, you know? So uh shalom otam, shalom otam. All right, so what do you say? "I love my child." Oh, twins. Okay, I'm sorry. Yeah, okay, I got it. Okay. "I love my child so much." You don't even know your child. Now let's just try to understand this. Perhaps you did not have a good relationship. Maybe you did. Okay, I don't want everyone to feel like you start looking for issues. Like I thought I had a good relationship, maybe I didn't. You know what I mean? Maybe we think You know one birthday You don't have to do that. But the the point being, if you had a good relationship, then great one. But if you didn't, then you know how you can understand how much Hashem really loves you? Well, at least as much as you love your child. Everybody get what I just said? And even if you didn't have that interaction yourself, but you know what that's like for you. You feel that love and what you want to do for your child. Unfortunately, it doesn't always pan out that way. It's challenging the actual steps that are involved, which is what we're going to talk about today. However, understand at least in concept, at least in theory, at least in what our shifus are are I don't know how to say it in English, our what we desire goals, what we're what we're trying to attain, where we're heading towards, or aspiring towards said more or less said aspirations. That type of idea is to be the best parent, to do the most for my child. So, you think you have more of a feeling towards your child that Hashem has for you. I mean, come on, just stand. It's the top of the top. So, that is just to put at ease anyone here who maybe doesn't understand this particular relationship I'm talking about here, maybe didn't have a good marriage, or maybe whatever it may be. The bottom line is understanding that what is Shavuot is the anniversary It's the anniversary of the marriage, which is meant to be looked at like the marriage and then building on it and continuing with it. However, the the issue that maybe arises The issue that maybe arises is that very often, when we get excited for something, there's a certain perspective that we have, a certain vision that we have about something. And what's the vision that we have about something? The vision that we have when we have like I want that. When does somebody say I want that? They see something, I want that. They say that, generally speaking, when they see the top of that, the culmination, the finishing, the championship, the diamond polished already. Right? When they see all that, then they say I want that. But what about before it's that? It's not there yet. Do you want the step before the combination? Or do you just want that combination? I remember I didn't even understand to be part of a professional team in sports, there's a lot that goes into it. I never understood this until I understood it. And now I understand it. And that's how most things work, you know. So, but this particular I remember like, "Wow, these guys in my head is always the NBA." Do these guys in the NBA, the National Basketball Association, people are going there playing basketball. They're you know, they're playing on the They make it so fun, you know. I play basketball. They play basketball. What's the difference, you know? It's like the story of the guy goes to the rabbi, "What's the difference between me and you?" You know. So, I asked the basketball player, "What's the difference between me and you?" And he said, "Well, because I eat an apple to to make a bracha." That's what the basketball player said. So, the point is that what's They play, I play. Oh my goodness, so much fun. But then you you you get a little bit more information. You start to realize, "Wait a minute. To to be in the basketball team, it's not just it's not just all fun necessarily." Ultimately, one who really appreciates what it's about, that it itself can be, so to speak, fun or exhilarating, up for the challenge. However, there's a lot of work that goes into it. There's a lot of practices. In order to be able to be on a on a basketball team, you have to go to practice. You have to go to practice. I don't know I I was just somebody who knows. I don't you know, I don't know how people how this works. But you got to go as much as you have to go. I don't know how much it is. Once a week, 10 times a week, 50 times a week. I mean, it would be a little crazy. But but you got to do. You got to be there early. You got to get there 6:00 a.m., 7:00 a.m. You got to push it. There's There's a thing called suicides. I used to do this when I was in in in elementary school. When in the high school we used to play on the basketball team, you have a thing where you have to run. So, for those unfamiliar those who are familiar with it, you know exactly what I'm talking about. I got this all worked out. But those who don't know, you don't. And I'll explain. So, let's say this is a this is a gym right here, from here to there, from this side all the way to that side. And what you have to do is you know you have the foul line, then you have the three-point line, then you have the half court, and then you have the next three-point line, then you have the next foul line, then you have the end the end of the court. So, what you have to do, you have to run from out of bounds, you have to run to the foul line, and then run back, then run to the three-point line, then run back, then run to half court, and and run back, and then run to three-point, and then run back, and run to half court, and then run back, and all the way over and run back. Those are called they're called suicides, and there's a reason for it. How many How many people At the end of that drill, people are just lying on the floor, right? It's a it's a cuz they cuz we're exhausted, you know what I'm saying? So, it it's hard. And then you have to do it again, and you do it again, and then you do it again, and you got to do it again. You just got to build up the stamina. It is incredible the stamina that these people have. You know what it's like to go out and to play on these teams, to be on such a level? How how How does a person get to be on such a level? There was a um There was a basketball player. I can't remember his name. If anybody knows tell me the name. This guy played on a team. I It would sound so much better if I actually knew the name of the team, but you know, it was a guy on a team. So, this guy on the team, yeah, it it was it was actually This is relevant to you understand the general uh athletic abilities Metsius. This is a tall white guy in the NBA. He barely played. The guy barely played. He was in the NBA, but he barely played. Do you you know who it is? Somebody with an S, like Sker Where are you? Who said that? Scalabrine? Now we're talking. I'm a Celtics fan. All right, so let me tell you. Scalabrine, and he had a thing called the Scalabrine Challenge, am I right? Did I make that up? Look up Scalabrine. You got it? Do you have Khashoggi in there? I don't have Khashoggi in there, I think. Any lower liners? What's that? It's legit. I know you're talking about. Who's talking? Me. Oh, you. I got it. I thought it was a sham. I don't know what that was. I could see your voice. It was like Sinai. Okay, so so so it's legit. Whoever it is, it's legit, but we're going to go with Scalabrine because it sounds good. This guy, Scalabrine, he played on the Boston Celtics, apparently. And he was uh you know, okay. You know what I'm saying? He didn't say anything. Okay. I think he averaged in his career like four points or something like that. And like you like, okay, that's like a joke, you know, four points NBA like come on, man. It's like that's so good. So a lot of people were were talking smack. That's a way of saying they were talking not nicely. About him. They were talking the smack about him. Like this guy doesn't know how to play anything. So he was a little bit insulted. So he created something called the what's his name again? Scalabrine. The Scalabrine challenge. Assuming again this is all true. It is all true. All right, Hashem said. But it is but I mean that uh I just don't know if it's really his name and that was really the thing. But but the he created something called the Scalabrine Scalabrine We'll call it the Scatchallenge. Okay? The Scatchallenge. The Scalabrine challenge. Okay, he created the Scatchallenge. And what he did is he took he he took people, anyone who's playing pretty much in the United States, that was playing division one basketball. Is that the highest one? Division one basketball. That means in in colleges and universities, I'm not sure if you're familiar with what I'm talking about. A college university is where people go to protest and uh about Israel. So anyway, they also sometimes have basketball teams. And uh this this uh the Scatchallenge was there's different levels of of basketball. So there's something called division three, which is the lowest level, Division 2, and then Division 1, Division 1 being the top teams. Those generally that end up in the NBA went to colleges and universities that were Division 1. The kids could be some could be in my Division 3, but it's more common they're coming from Division 1. Those are the top athletes in the United States. So, the Scallenge was that he set up anyone who wants to come and play against me, put in a video, and you know, your your uh like a CV, like a resume about like any of your basketball skills, and he's going to pick the top of the top in the country to play. Yeah, you think I'm not good? Cuz I average only like four points in the NBA, whatever? Let's play. Let's see. And he was already retired from the NBA. You have to understand. He was already old. I'm saying in his mid-30s. You understand? Old old old old. And uh these guys are like 16, 17, 18. They're like the young and strong like bull and do their thing. They want to win, you know? And he took all of them and he went ahead and he played them. I don't know how many people it was. I'm going to make up the Scallenge. It was 50 people. I don't know what it was. It's called the Scallenge. The Scallenge. I knew it. It didn't sound good this full name. I don't know offense to his full name. It just didn't It's too long. The Scallenge or the Scallenge. That's what they call it in the Queens. So, so he he had the he had the Scallenge. How many people out of 50 do you think were able to beat him? Obviously, he played 50 or whatever how many people he played. How many people do you think were able to beat him? None. Only What? One. None. None. And not only none, most of them didn't score even one point. Most of them didn't score even one point. A few got some pointed out that most did not even score anything. He demolished them. You have to understand, to be in the NBA, those those the guys in the NBA are the top players in the world. That that doesn't again Being that I'm a rebbe, I am bound there's certain things we have to do. So one of them is we have to say the by side it's a ball and it's a it's a metal circle and you're looking up to a guy who's throwing a ball the metal circle. I mean come on a rebbe, it's mamish the davish the better, you know? Okay, now that I'm going to say To be to be in the NBA is unbelievable. These guys ARE INCREDIBLY TALENTED. And that's every sport when you're the top when you're in those leagues, you're in the NFL, the NHL, when you're the NBA and baseball, when you're going and you're in the tennis, you know, what I'm saying? You you got to be you got to be you're top in the world. So when this guy this from the sketcher some called Scalabrine, whatever. When when he when he only averages four points a game, that's simply because he's playing the best of the best. So he was the bottom of the best. How did he get there? He got there with a ridiculous amount of work. But like everything in life, the the work wasn't too much. If it was too much, he couldn't do it. But was it hard? Of course it was hard. But we all look at the end results and that's they won the championship. They're playing the NBA, they're in the top thing, whatever it is. I also want to be there. I also want to be in such a situation. I remember I remember thinking that when when when when I was first getting married that I said to my wife that I want to have like guests and just like just have a lot of people just open whatever and She's like, yeah, who's making all the food? You know, I just like So I was like, "What do you mean?" Like, I don't What? When I grew up, nobody actually made the food. It was just there. Like, what are you talking about? It's like everyone knows the magic bin. It's called the laundry bin. And like, it just shows up with stuff. It's unbelievable. So, she's like, "I can't have so many people." I'm like, "What is such a big deal? Like, what is a big deal? Like, I don't understand the problem." And it's really, really like not not intelligent at all. Just understand that it takes a lot to go into such a thing. Say you want to have so many people, you want to set it all up, whatever it is. So, where was I coming from? Where was I coming from when I was thinking, like, "But but but let's have a lot of peoples." I was coming from my upbringing. What I In my home, we had guests. Like, I said and all my in-laws also guests. I was like, "So, I don't understand the problem. Like, even in your house it was like that. So, what's the issue?" And the issue, the real issue is is is what what I pointed out to me is, "So, when did you have all those guests? When When do you think you had them? When you were like one? When you were two and your your brother was four and your sister was born and like and like is that when you think you had it?" I was like, "First of all, I don't know what you're talking about cuz I was never born. I started at 15." So, I I don't understand I don't understand these questions. Like, these are strange questions, you know? It reminds me of when when when I was talking to my wife about continents. We were talking about how many continents are in the world and and and uh we were listing them and I she said, you know, you know, like, "Of course I know the continents." Okay, you have North America, South America, Canada, Asia, Africa, Europe, Antarctica. I got them all. I love how you all also have my intelligence. This is amazing. Only like three people reacted and understood what was wrong there. Anybody want to pick out what I said wrong? Canada doesn't exist. I mean I mean I mean what? My wife is from Canada. So it's a So I said there's North America, South America, Canada. She goes What? I said what? I'm not done. Okay, don't interrupt me, you know? A little respect, you know? She goes, North You're saying North America, South America, Canada? I said, Do you prefer I say Canada first? Like what do you Like what do you want me to What's the order here, you know? She said Canada's not a continent. I said that's a little disrespectful to your country. You know what I mean? Cuz like What do you mean? She said Canada is part of North America. I was like, Are you ridiculous? What are you talking about? And I I actually did a good enough job to start convincing her that it's not true, right? But I really I don't know I have no idea, you know? I Listen, shout out to my alma mater. I don't want to say where I went to school. But the But the point of this is But the point is you have to come to understand that uh What do you think? You think that you're going to be able to just do this when when there's all babies at home and little kids and whatever? It's very hard to go to such thing. It's true. My mindset of what a Shabbos table would what I wanted to look like was when I was much older and the and and my Apparently, I was told my mother prepared the food was was able to go and do that without having to be running after little kids all the time. And you were toilet trained already. Listen, you told me you wouldn't say that in front of everyone. Keep Every time, you know? Anyway, so So the answer is is that we have to take a look not at what the finish of it, the finish line, but what about the steps to get to the finish line? The steps that takes to get there. This is like this fairy tale perspective of what a marriage is. I I I don't know if I ever said this once or not, but whoever you are, you're going to know who you are if you're here, and if you're not here, I mean I shouldn't say this. Okay, I just won't say their names. So, so there was a guy and there was this girl, and this guy David said I'm just kidding. Anyway, so maybe I'm not. Anyway, so there there was there was a guy and a girl and and and a couple, a married couple, and I was I was talking with him about something, and something came up about within their marriage. They were having a bit of a struggle, a bit of a bit of a challenge with a particular area. And in the midst of the conversation, there's sometimes things that are so obvious to us that maybe to someone else are not that obvious. So, you basically the conversation you miss each other cuz you just I don't understand the issue here. Like, what's going on? And what came out it took like half an hour, 40 minutes to for me to understand. They're like, "Yeah, we have this issue like we have an argument about something and whatever it is." And I'm like, "Okay, so you had an argument about that thing? Like, okay, you know, so let's hear what's your approach, what's your approach. Why do you feel that way? Why do you feel that way? What do you think their approach is? What do you think their approach is? Let's try to understand. Let's try to work it through." And and we kept coming back to the same point of like, "Yeah, we had this argument." They said, "Okay, but we just worked it out." And they were just like, "You understand that maybe you shouldn't have done that or you in that particular point." And you understand maybe you shouldn't have done that particular point, and let's try to move forward to not let that happen, and whatever may be. And then they said again, yeah, but you know, but we had this argument. So I said, Okay, so let me just understand something. So you had an argument. Am I Am I getting that right? Yeah. Okay, so so what's the problem? So they said, So should we get divorced? It was a genuine question. It says to she she we should just we should just end it, you know, maybe like maybe this whole thing was just a mistake. So then then I finally understood. Do Did you think that it that it's that it's doesn't happen that people have disagreements that maybe sometimes lead into arguments? Do you think that that's never happened? They said, Of course it doesn't. If that would happen, then obviously the whole thing is a mistake. I said, Okay. So So let me just let me just share with you a little piece of information. That happens. That happens. That is That is a very common thing. That's a very normal thing. I don't I'm not saying it's okay and good to have fights. To have dis- disagreements, to see the world differently, that for sure is that could be okay. But the fights is not okay, but it's common and it's normal, and it happens all the time. And we have to work on ourselves. We have to we have to work on ourselves, and be willing to see the other person, and willing to see that maybe we're not, etc., and try to work those things through. But in their head, they had a vision. That vision was perfection. And when your when your vision is perfection, then doesn't go right, then all of a sudden you feel like the whole thing is a failure. It's not about the championship. The championship is the culmination of a lot of little wins. How do you make it to the championship? How does How do you have in any sport How do you have or in any whatever it is How do you have two people that end up either with tennis playing against each other or teams playing against each other? How did they get there? You think the season starts and boom those two teams make it to the top? No, cuz they had different individual smaller games one by one by one a win a win a win a loss a loss a win a loss, but overall more wins than losses. And they ended up being the ones that were the more wins than anybody else. And then they get up and they What happened? All of a sudden they're in the championship. And then they win or they lose or whatever it is. But the point is is that it's a culmination of individual small wins. It's not about just the championship and just the wedding and the beauty of that experience and and whatever that stuff is. It's about step by step, challenge by challenge, overcoming one at a time. And if we fall with that, okay, but continuing to move forward. And then finally we get to the we get to the end result. It's an amazing thing. There's an expression in Hebrew, ma pitom. You heard that expression before? No, ma pitom. What does it mean ma pitom? It's just what What? What are you talking? Say it. What are you talking about? Oh, okay, that's true. Right, it's usually like, "What you talking about?" You know, ma pitom. But we don't always think like about literal translations. Ma pitom means what suddenly. So if somebody says something really silly and you to go to them in English, you say, "What suddenly?" But, what does it mean, "What suddenly?" In other words, what do you mean by "What suddenly?" It's like, "I don't understand. I thought you were intelligent, and suddenly you're not. What suddenly happened that you would make such a comment like that?" Mapitome, right? Like, "What suddenly happened to you?" You get it? That That's actually what it is. I mean, I'm saying it straight, but that's really what it is. Mapitome, like Mapitome is like, "Oh, it's a stupid. It's a silly. What are you What are you talking about?" "What suddenly happened to you, my friend? I think you need to see someone." What What does that mean, Mapitome? What suddenly? You have a relationship. What happens if you have a somebody's relationship, and they're married for 10 years, 15 years, 20 years? And then you find that Lo Alinu, Lo Alinu, Lo Al anyone, they should be with and they end up unless That's what I'm saying. They end up divorced. It's like, "Well, you know, everything was going okay, and suddenly you suddenly it wasn't going well anymore." Mapitome. What suddenly? There are times when there is a sudden circumstance that occurs that causes something. But, that's not the norm. And even that circumstance usually isn't a suddenly. There's a reason why that circumstance occurs. Not to say, "Okay." Not okay. That's not the discussion. The point is that things happen for reasons. Nobody does something for nothing. You've never done anything in your life stam. Unless you're a psychopath. But, you But, you I haven't done anything stam. You And I mean that seriously, by the way, what I just said. It's not just like a stam. You do something. When there's an active something we you actively to do, there's a reason you're doing it. And it's not a sudden thing that happened. It's an explosion of little things that built up to it. Listen carefully to this idea. In every one of our relationships, we are either getting closer to the person or getting further away from the person. That's every single relationship. It could be my relationship could mean siblings, parent-child, marriage, friends. You're either getting closer or you're getting further away. Every single one. You're getting closer, getting further away. Now, the challenge is to be able to recognize it's not about the championship. In order to get to the championship, you have to have a lot of small wins in between. And there's a lot of small challenges and circumstances or circumsta- that happened in between to get to that cumulative experience we have the championship and then you get to win. Habits be even, the championship is not even the hard part necessarily. It's just the total of all of the work that you put in. That's even That's even the easy part. The hard part is running suicides, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. Building that stamina, building that strength, building that focus, building that ability to be able to overcome. Once you've done that, then the game is just an outgrowth of that. Yeah, no problem. It could be still There's exertion, but the point is I got this. I got this. And that's where a person practices and practices and practices, and then it just becomes and then it just goes. I play guitar. I'm amazing. And it's a gift that I share with the session. Okay, relatively speaking, I'm amazing. In my head, I'm amazing. And somebody wanted me to play a song that I hadn't played in many years. It probably close to 20, maybe 25 years I hadn't played this song. And they asked me to play this song and I was trying to do it and I couldn't do it. Until I finally just let go and I just I stopped thinking about it and I just It's called muscle memory. And I literally just played it. I was like, I got so excited that I'm like, that that if I fumbled because because of the fact that I that I started thinking again. But But then then when I would stop, it would just like it just went. Don't ask me what the song is. It's not really important. But the point is that that I was able to do it. Something with chili is really hot and it was red. But But the point is that I was able to go ahead and and play it because That's not hard. That that's easy. The hard part was learning it. That was hard. It was hard for me to learn that song. But once I got it, once I worked on it, worked on it, worked on it, worked on it, worked on it, worked on it, boom, then the place is very simple. It's a culmination of it. Step by step, slowly but surely, put in the effort, put in the effort, put in the effort. If you're not actively putting in the effort to be getting closer, then you're getting further away. You're getting further away. We're either getting closer to something or getting further away from something. There's no I was in love, we were married, it was amazing, and then suddenly we weren't in love anymore. No, there's micro experiences, very small things, that are happening. And the small things really go in a little bit closer, a little further away. And you don't see it on a day-to-day thing, you only see it on a year-to-year thing or on a decade-to-decade thing. When suddenly you're so far away from each other. It's not suddenly you're so far away from each other. It's suddenly that you wake up to the realization that you're so far away because of how many days, weeks, months, and years you haven't been getting closer. You look at the beginning of any sort of relationship. And again, any relationship. Marriage is the most That type of thing is the easiest one to speak about, but any relationship. There's an excitement to see each other. There's There's And there's words that are exchanged that bolster that excitement. But then those words become normalized. And then they become just part of the the way you speak. So you So you wake up in the morning. Good morning. How are you? I love you. Bye. Okay. Thinking about you. Love you. Love you. See you. Bye. Okay. Hi. Hello. Chicken. Love you. Bye. Phone. The car. Laundry. Love you. It's It's all the same tone. So So the sentence I love you is the same as saying I'm potty training my kid. You know, like just to use an example. I don't know where it came from. But I mean it's like that that type of thing. It It comes out to be exactly the same thing. I'm going to work. I'm coming home from work. I'm going to learn. I'm going to daven. I love you. I went skiing when I was younger. Uh uh my shoes need polishing. You know, it's all the same thing. Stop looking at my shoes. It's all the same thing. Stop again. Stop thinking about monkeys. No monkeys. No thinking of monkeys. Right? So So So it's all It's all the same thing. So what happens is in the beginning what happens is a passion, there's a desire, there's a focus, it's incredible. And then you get closer and closer and closer. But then it becomes normal. And then when that becomes normal, so then it no longer has that, so you start to get further and further and further even though you're actually giving towards the relationship cuz you're not really giving towards it. You're just on autopilot with all the normalcy of saying something as if we're not giving towards it, then simply we're not giving towards it. If it's not building it, then it's not building it. It's It's a very simple equation. And now the bait and switch. Everything we just said right now is only for one thing. What's our relationship with the marriage between us and Hashem? If you're not getting closer to Hashem, you're getting further away from Hashem. Not pitom person. You know, the group in a religious home and they're involved with the religious stuff and suddenly they're not religious anymore. It's all of a sudden. Not all of a sudden. It's small incremental things of getting closer or small incremental things of getting further away. That That's what's happening. We're either getting closer or getting further. We're either getting closer to Hashem, we're getting closer, it's getting deeper, more meaningful, or it's slowing down. We're going up up up up, more meaning more deep more more deep deeper meaning experience and then kind of slows down cuz it's the reality. It's gravity. We start going up up up, but then you know what happens? You get too high then you start to come down. Then it becomes normal and then maybe we have an experience that isn't so positive and then boom, we're able to just leave. What happened? The answer is if we're not constantly building it, then we're constantly unraveling it. And I think a lot of people maybe saw this and they go to yeshiva or seminary. And then they come back. And you see the difference between what happened when you were in yeshiva and seminary versus when you came back. A lot of factors. For any of the Rivkas who were who who heard me speak about this in the past, this particular nekuda there's a one reason that I spoke about, but there's another reason that we're talking about is simply because we're not actively building it every day. Whereas you were when you were in yeshiva and every day you're building in, you're actively involved. Usually against your will. But it's happening. With encouragement, with people other other than yourself, people that are like you, they're doing it as well. There's a lot of good environment, good vibes. But then you leave those good vibes, and suddenly that's hard in of itself. And besides that, what happens is that we're not giving as much, we're not going towards it. Moving away. And it's not that a person comes back after Yeshiva and seminary and after one day they're like, "You know what? Forget the whole thing. I'm done." Like it doesn't You're saying that that's not Is that what happens? Like you're guy I'm not going to have your girl. You just take off your sheitel. You're not even married yet. So it's awkward you're wearing that in the first place. Slowly but surely, we're not moving towards it, we're moving away from it. If you want to have a good marriage, that's unfortunate. If you want to have a great marriage, then we have to be taking those daily steps, the daily steps, the suicides. Cuz sometimes relationships can be really hard, cuz you have to actively do things that you wouldn't necessarily be doing by yourself. I'm doing this because there's someone else that wants something. So I push myself beyond myself. I'll do the suicides. I'll run there, I'll run back. Run there, run back. Run there, run back. Run there, run back. And if you don't want to do that, okay, don't do it, but then you're not going to be in the team. But if you want to be in the team, and you want that championship, you got to be willing to do the suicides. The things that are a little bit challenging and hard, but after a person finishes those, there's a feeling of accomplishment. I did it, and I feel closer to the game. I want more. I feel closer to my spouse. I want more. I feel closer to Hashem. I I more. You Everybody get it? Where are we in our relationship with Hashem? Just like I'm just doing it cuz that's what I'm doing it. And what happens is we're slowly but surely moving further and further and further, even though we're doing the same stuff. I'm still davening every day. I'm still going to shul. I'm still making brochos. I'm still making Shabbos. I'm still making challah. I'm still lighting candles. I'm still putting on tfillin. I didn't stop anything. So, I'm giving every day. He says it's not just about the physical actions. It's about our intent. What are we thinking about when we're in the goal? What are we What are we doing? Versus run back and forth. You run to that to the foul line and run back and you're not thinking about the fact that this is about increasing your game and getting better and you're going to win the next game tonight or tomorrow, whatever it is. So, then this is just exhausting. Why are we doing this? I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. But eventually, boom. Pitom will stop it. Some of it. It's not pitom. My pitom what? Suddenly. There is no suddenly. It was slowly but surely falling away. Are slowly but surely getting closer. So, what happens when we come to these days as we're approaching now Shavuos? What is this? What are we supposed to be doing? This is a particular Say it. Learning Torah. Examining our relationship. So, we see that Shavuos is the ultimate relationship. It is the ultimate relationship. Therefore, we literally count one day at a time. Tonight is the first. Tonight is the second. Tonight is the third. Tonight actually, I can't say cuz I don't know tomorrow. Tonight is the fourth. Tonight is the fifth. Tonight is the sixth. Tonight is the seventh. Get there ready. You You see my like my little kids, they come home from from school and and they're so excited they learn about this yacht all the way to all night I don't know how they pronounce it but they you know they say thing and I don't know what they're saying this is how you make it go between like the Israeli pronunciation and the Jewish thing and it's funny mix and they go and say they tell you it's for something and they say okay what's that I say okay I want to say how do you say how do you say okay that means young it's like 15 so she but the point is that I said like five year old comes on he's all excited I said okay I I I can manage I am I am young young reisha echad shtaim shlishi so you go to each one and you get to see the difference between the passion of a younger kid and someone who gets older you can see it like the little kids like I'm ready think about shuva you know and then you see the after being you know maybe a 15 year old kid like Kadosh I'm done and then the kid finishes the first day he's like okay now what okay again now we've read the Torah let's do the second day now you can't do the second day on the first day why not because it's not the second day like it doesn't work like that you got to take it one day at a time one step at a time and if we take it one step at a time then we have a culmination and it's not a total on this relationship it was a slow and steady steady steady growth pattern and I give a little more I give a little more I give a little more I give a little more then I finally then have that relationship no excuses next time Ezra you have to understand this is this is a the step by step thing of of growth and then Shavuot says wow so some of you might be thinking okay but I I a lot of days. Okay, so maybe next year, whatever. She said it's what it is. It's not going to happen. Okay, so who cares? So forget Shavuos. What? Blasphemy. So what do you want to do? You want to start skipping now? The reality is actually forget Shavuos. You have to keep Shavuos. You have to keep the holiday of Shavuos, but it's not about Shavuos. It's about the step-by-step growth. If If it was about Shavuos, then what happens if a person wakes up after Shavuos? Do they wait till the next year? Start wherever you are. Wherever you are, start the process. Is that not paskening halacha to forget anything here? I'm paskening halacha sh'tufa. And that is that start wherever you are. Start the process. Start the process. It's hard, it's challenging. Yeah, it is. Is it worth it? Yeah. Are you able to have all those guests right away? I still don't understand what the issue is. It's really not hard to make shalom, you know what I'm saying? You just walk in. Start saying like "Aisha chayil, amen." All right, everything comes out. You get down on one knee, yeah. Maybe two knees at the seder. I can't get up. It hurts my knees. I can't do it. But starting to recognize that it's a slow and steady thing. There's no such thing as pitom. Spirituality is one day at a time. We all know easy come, easy go. When a person jumps into something, they jump right out. It's got to be shvaya shvaya. Slow and steady wins the race. Come to recognize this idea. In order to have ultimately a good marriage, and I I heard this particular example, Reb Shayala Kalish, that he said everybody's looking to have a good zman. They want to have a good smile when they go to learn in Yeshiva. I want a good smile. To have a good smile, you have to have a good seder. That means you have to have every day that has to be good. In order to have a good marriage, a great marriage, you have to have a great day. And then the next day, another great day. And then the next day, another great day. And then when we have times when we fall, is it true that maybe our spouse will mess up one day cuz it's not us? Cuz yes, they'll mess up, but we have to allow them to change. And sometimes, maybe I've heard it could even be us. Yesh Omrim, it's not uh not everyone passes that way. But Yesh Omrim, it could even be us that's the issue. And where we go and we change that then maybe it would go ahead and it would change everything. So let's try to put this all together, my friends. Quick recap everything we did. And then from one point, and then we'll take any questions, comments, stories, jokes, tax. Please give it to the verbal and physical. Here we go. How do we start? So we started off in the beginning, in the beginning. We were hardly coming up with Shabbat. And what is this taking you in one word? Anniversary. Anniversary, marriage. What happens there? How does it keep happening? What's up with it? What is this all the coach book? What an amazing opportunity to go and get such a thing. We're talking about the scallenge or the scatcha. Right? Whatever the person goes to the thing, what does that mean to be this day? Who even wants to be in the championship? We get to the top of the top of the goal. And when I have the diamond and it's all done, I want to have everything that's at the top of the top. This is how it all works. It's called be sure of your choice, step by step, one at a time. You got to go violent, black, third black, half court, black, three point, black, pick and roll, black. And then you're like, "Wait, this is this is a lot." But you got to push yourself. It's called suicide. It's suicide to go and do go and do such a thing. It's very, very challenging, but a person is saying the fact that it's really going to be worth it. They're going to go through it. And then ultimately you get to the top of there. You think the guy only scored four points? Nobody was able to beat the guy. Most people WOULDN'T SCORE ANY POINT ON the scatcha. You see So don't try to go on scatcha, on scallenge. You can go such a thing. The guy so good to be at the TOP OF THE TOP. HOW DO YOU GET THERE? Because they put in the work. We all have this fairy tale of this concept of like get married and it's going to be the best marriage right away. There it says it's got to be built. It's got to be step by step. What suddenly? What suddenly? There is no such thing as suddenly. There is no suddenly. You're either getting closer or you're getting further. That's the bottom line, but it's so small that you don't notice it. But the answer is over time it culminates and it could have many, many guests. But you can't have many, many guests the very first day. It just doesn't work like that. And there's other things that are going on in life. You're looking at a perception of when you were older that certain things are going to happen. If you look at a certain person you know what I'm saying, they didn't do that either. And by the way, those who did do it earlier that usually didn't go so well for the marriage. They didn't do such a thing like that. Big thing over there, that's my little whatever it is. Do whatever you want with that information, but be very careful. Some of this very nice that we go and involve the guests in the world that don't care about our own family. So that's a different discussion for another time. Believe me, that was probably never. Okay. That's the thing we got to be here is that slowly but surely but surely going to be building the thing up. And that my friends is what this whole message is all about. We come to realize the fact this is in terms of our relationship, this is in terms of with our friends, in terms of with our family, with our children, with our siblings, and with our parents, and and and most importantly with our spouses, is the idea that to get to this amazing marriage it's got to be every single day. If you want to have an amazing marriage, have an amazing day. It's got to be social but be social. Think it out. Comes in a share. And that's what they say every day. Every day if you want to have a relationship with a share, an amazing kind of a relationship with a share, it takes a step-by-step, day-by-day approach. It has to be every day. You want to have a great relationship with a share, you want to hit the championships, you want to hit the top, you have to be willing to have a great day with a share. Have a great simcha, have a great simcha, have a great seder. You have to have a great morning. You have to have a great You have to go to sleep right right then. You have to do everything at the eat of the simcha at the right time. And we do those things at the right time slowly but surely. You won't see it on a day-to-day thing. You'll see it though on a week or on a month or on a year or on two years. What's simcha? Simcha is that we come to this idea we're about to go to the wedding and now for our anniversary. Therefore it has to be slowly but surely building up. Slowly but surely building up. One day at a time. One day at a time. Today's the first day. Can we do the second day and the third day today also? No. Today's the first day. What about the second day? That's tomorrow. But can we do three days tomorrow? Like you can't do that. Got to catch them all. Got to catch them all. Pokey. Wait, can we go and can you grab the day Can I grab all of the days? No, you can't catch them all. If you want to catch them all, they got to do it one day at a time. So finally then you can get to the day that's combination called Shavuot. And that's when you have the idea called the relationship itself. That's the matter. Now I'm going to be tone. The most I mapitome that I'm so in love with Hashem. There's no mapitome that you're so in love with Hashem. There's no mapitome that you're not in love with Hashem. It's a slow and steady process. And if we want to get there, we have to be willing to take those steps. We have to be willing to push yourself and it's worth it. What is mapitome? What suddenly? What's suddenly? What does the word mean? The word mapitome. Did you leave? You did. And then you came back? No, I was in the back. You didn't leave? I was in the bathroom and I came So you did leave? That's a good question. The meforshim say that mapitome means is when a person goes, "Huh?" Like the mapitome is like, "Huh? How did that happen?" Oh, like All of a sudden. When you have that Keep giving me more examples. No. When you have a When you have a You know, there's a couple that's married for 20 years and then they get divorced. You're like, "What? How did it just happen?" Oh. And it says, "No, it didn't just happen." Nothing just happens. Slowly and surely in positive and slowly and surely towards negative, we're getting closer. I understand. That's it. You know, I'm explaining. You know, we get closer or we get further away. Exactly correct. All right. So this is the question also in terms of a relationship with Hashem. It's not mapitome. It's not suddenly. So we have to make a choice. If we want to have this If you don't want to have it, so then you made your choice already. You don't want to have it. But if you want to have this, then we have to be willing to go ahead and take those steps and continue the steps. Yeshiva somebody fantastic. because there's constant building. When you walk out of that, it's not constant anymore. Uh, what am I going to do? We're only 10 days however many days away we are. I did it backwards. Okay, but we're only a certain amount of days away until Shavuot. The answer is, so start now. But then we're going to miss Shavuot. You can still have on second and third of Ramah says, you can still have cheesecake even though you didn't count. You can still do it. It's okay. You can still have cheesecake. I happen to like cheesecake. It's a Jewish. I got it. I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like cheesecake. I don't like I don't like liver. I don't I don't like it. I'm sorry. Okay, I'm sorry. I don't like it. Like I wanted to like it because people like it. So I want to like it too. If you like it, I want to like it. So I was somewhere and they had liver and I tried it and and I really don't like it. Like I was I went in with an open mind. I'm like, you know, I'm going to try, you know. It was it's ridiculous. And I tried There were things like that I grew up with that I didn't eat and I never ate like broccoli. Never ate broccoli. Then I ate it. I'm like, I like broccoli. Now I don't really eat broccoli so much because of bugs and if you do you're going to whatever a lot of them there is. But but but the poison is unless you wash it really well and you think it's the first one is butter, but it's disgusting. Okay, I'm not getting into your life and into your afterlife. That's different here. Enjoy the broccoli here cuz next time you know what I'm saying? Unless you throw some strawberries in also. Anyway, the point is sprinkle a little flour that you didn't sift either and a little bit of lettuce and you're good to go. We call it the hot salad. Anyway, point is to come to recognize and to come to I'm not even sure what the point is anymore when I got into that. What was I Why did I get into that? You don't like cheesecake. Oh yeah, I don't like cheesecake. Thank you. That's very good. Yes, I don't like cheesecake. It's shocking. I know. It's like I said it a minute ago, too. But the point is is to come to recognize that whether I like it or I don't like it is not the point, right? The point is that to understand you're allowed to have it even so. And if you didn't start, if you missed it already, then it's too late and give up. That's one shot. Another shot is that that's not true. It's not too late. Start now. You missed it once, it's okay. You'll have another Shivous in 50 days. That it's about starting right now. It's about starting right now and then take it step by step, step by step. We fall, okay. We have those experiences. We all know the song. You fall down, you stay down. Those are I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Wrong version. What is it? You fall, and you get back up. Okay. That's what happens. We go through these challenges over here. Hashem should give us the koach to be able to do such an idea. That if we maybe didn't count, I don't mean actually literally, but if we're not taking those ideas of day by day pushing ourselves and not just saying the words of love you, um, groceries, snow in Argentina when it's cold and different things, but rather we're really meaning what we're saying over here. We should be zocheh to get to a point where we could be focusing on what we're doing, recognizing what's happening, taking it slowly but surely, and actually building. Any questions, comments, stories, jokes, attacks on the particular share. Five, four, three, two. You got it? Go. So, the question is, um, nice meeting you. No, nice meeting you, too. Any other questions? Yeah. The question is obviously depends on the person like their relationship with with Hashem. Yeah. So, like what is your advice like as far as like, you know, how to get close to Hashem. Is it through just learning because some people they just, you know, sit there and learn Gemara all day, or some people it's not. Yeah. And even for the ones that that sit down and learn Gemara all day, they still don't have the right connection with Hashem. That's a great question. The question is, how does one build a connection and relationship with Hashem? Obviously, the answer is everyone is going to have different things. So, what is it? Some is Gemara, some is this, some is what you already said. Right? So, so does everyone hear the question? So, so is there any We're expected to say so. Do you have any practical ideas of how I can I'm saying what you're saying. So, so do you, me, do I have any practical ideas that I can give over to a mass crowd of how they particularly can grow? And the answer is yes. I have an answer. The answer I'm going to give is going to be you still have to figure it out. But the formula is that you have to take the very smallest thing possible. Why that is is another issue, but you have to it's part of what we're talking about here actually about the small steps that we're doing over here. Every individual thing that you build upon itself. But the reason why I say it's like the smallest thing possible that you're able to do that you have no excuse not to do. That's going to be easy for you that you wondering why am I not doing this? Like there's certain things like like you should be learning all of the matter every day. It's like okay, that's a little bit a lot. Okay, learning a Mishnah, one Mishnah. Okay, but that maybe is too much. Okay, when you say the word Shema, you should think of Hashem. Okay, that's like absurd that I'm not doing that, you know. Of course, okay, so one thing, saying the word amen and thinking what that means. Kel Melech Ne'eman, you know, just one little thing, the smallest possible thing. Why that? Simply because we need to take something that we can actually be consistent with. And we have no excuse not to do that. We're the ones who say that. This is why it's important. That's where the individual part comes in that you have to figure out what that is for you. But that individual thing that you start to take upon yourself and say, you know what, this no matter what I'm going to be doing cuz there's no excuse for me not to be doing that. And when we start with that process, then that ends up becoming easy and even easier that you're able to step up on that brick, on that step that you just built. And the next level thing you pick now becomes like it's the first level, becomes easier. And then slowly but surely you start to develop and you start stepping on those bricks. You start stepping on those days until you have 50 days and you get to your blessing of your wedding. Is that the answer? That was a great answer, right? That was Thank you so much. If you can tell everyone, please. That was nice. Oh, thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Okay, two, one, yeah, the buzzer. I think I am certain like people, environment, laziness, or temptation, things that are holding you back from developing a relationship with a chef. Like the level of commitment you have to have is harder to also grasp. Are you asking 12 questions or what? I'm starting to get tired of here. Pick one. What is I'm going to pick that first one you just said. The first one you just said is, what about the thing that you have things that are that are holding us back? There's things that are stopping us from being able to get close. I'm going to answer exactly the same way I answered Mosha over here. Am I close? Yakov. Yakov, okay. I'm saying it right. It also has three letters if you spell it wrong. So now, so so so what what Yakov asked is a question right and now it's the same point backwards. Take the very smallest area that you feel that you're doing which is not okay. The thing that's holding you back, don't stop I mean, if you can, stop doing everything that's holding you back, but being practical, take the smallest thing that you're possibly able to do and continue that step by step until then becomes you can step on that and go in that direction. Get it? So in terms of this is a sor mera, this is a asay tov. And the sor mera is I'm going to remove myself from doing the bad things. Taking this remove myself from doing that. And then asay tov is I'm going to start going to do good. So your question was the sor mera, I'm moving from the bad and Yakov's question was the asay tov. So the sor mera, take the smallest possible thing that you know you're going to be able to be successful to move towards a move towards getting away from that bad thing and take the smallest possible good thing that you can do that there is no excuse not to be able to do that as well. One, zero, oh yeah. I would have called it earlier. Oh, you just got it. Yeah, yeah, you were. I would have Very good. So, she had a comment. If you you couldn't hear in the back, what she said is that you are one of the most incredible speakers that I've ever heard. And I just wanted everyone to hear that. So, thank you so much for that. But, another thing she said was that she teaches and one of the things that she teaches her students is that if you look in the book of Shulchan Aruch, the book of Jewish law, right in the beginning, you think it's going to start off with Jewish law. You know, it's going to say, "Do this, do that, do the other." But, it starts off by saying essentially have a relationship with Hashem. Understand that there's Hashem over here. And what does that mean, Hashem, in terms of in a public setting and Hashem in a private setting? And then we can start talking about the ideas of the halachas. But, the ultimate goal, excellent. The ultimate goal is understanding and recognizing it's that marriage, it's that anniversary, it's that relationship. And then we can talk about the steps of how to get there. But, that's how the book of Jewish law starts off. The concept of Shiviti Hashem L'Negdi Samid. I place God before me always. It's called "L'vav Oker L'vav." It's Baruch She'amar V'haya Orah Chashacha. Yeah, and then we say, "Listen to it slowly." You see what I'm saying. But, but, but the point is that uh that that that starts off with that full understanding. And with that, my friends, I'm going with everyone in incredible Shavuos. And whether that means it's in a week and a half from now, or that means it's in another 50 days from now, everyone should be zocheh to have an amazing, incredible relationship with Hashem. Amen. Amen. Thank you so much for coming.