Night of Emunah: Rabbi Paysach Krohn, Rabbi David Ashear & Shloimi Steinmetz

Good evening, everyone. Welcome to tonight's very special event, night of Amona. Baruch Hashem, we have three tremendous speakers we're here from tonight. Of course, Steinmetz, Pesach Krohn of Dovid Asher, and of course everyone um got a book Ani Ma'amin. That's what That's what the focus of tonight is. And of course, the event's not just tonight, but of course um the the ripple effects of of strengthening our Amona, bitachon in Hashem, of course. And we want to of course dedicate the event, of course, l'zecher nishmas of course um we heard about the tragedy um a few years ago in Meron on Lag BaOmer, of course, l'zecher nishmas Dovi Steinmetz, zichrono l'vracha. Of course, nishmaso she'tihye aliyah, amen. It's also being dedicated, of course, for um l'zecher nishmas Zulai bas Zevulun. Um um Eliahu ben Eliyahu, Amram ben Balur, Moshe ben um Batya. And of course, we thank um Ammiel Lavie and Yisrael Meir Haya for for their efforts for tonight's event. Of course, give a round of applause for tonight Ammiel Lavie and Yisrael Meir Haya. And of course, we we tonight's event is presented by Chazak. Of of um we thank, of course, um Rabbi Schnall and and Ami Fell behind the scenes of Young Israel of Flatbush. Give a round of applause for his for Young Israel of Flatbush. >> [applause] >> And of course, we have Chazak is there to give the Chazak, to give the physical to inspiration, inspiring thousands of people every single year through amazing shiurim and programs, and has a main focus on inspiring tens of thousands of public school students every single year with after school programs over 20 different locations, and transferred over 2,000 students from public school to yeshivas. And Chazak is always in the forefront to give that to give that physical to give that inspiration. And of course, we're we're starting tonight with um with uh with some Tehillim led by the CEO of Chazak, Rabbi Meir. So when we talk about Amona, we we we know there's a famous statement that Ani Ma'amin ki adaber, that that the with more you talk about Amona, that's what That's what strengthens our Amona. And of course, um we have a Mr. Steinmetz who uh who of course is um he said on a podcast once that someone referred to him as Mr. Ani Ma'amin. And and of course, you guys you could Sometimes you read about it, you can hear shiur about it, but but of course, you have yourself and his wife were living representations and and then spreading Ani Ma'amin to tens of thousands of people around the world through the books, through the cards that everyone um that everyone got, and of course, they should give out to friends, family, to the schools, of course. And it's a great great honor to let's give a round of applause to Mr. Steinmetz. >> [applause] >> Thank you, everybody. Thank you, Rabbi Meir, for inviting me. Thank you for Young Israel for hosting. Thank you for Rabbi for the introduction, for the kind words. My first time here in Queens, so um appreciate the warm welcome. I thought I'm not going to know anybody here. And a few few people came over to me, some of which uh some of which are friends of my son, so other people that are part of the heard about our mission every day, so makes us feel a little bit more comfortable. But for the people who don't know me, I'll give you a little bit of an introduction. Like Rabbi just said, um my name is Steinmetz. I live in Montreal. I'm actually in the door business, not in the Ani Ma'amin business. But uh Hashem put me in this position and be speaking tonight. We're coming up to the fifth anniversary from my bochur, from my son who was nifter, Dovi. So we try to do what we can to, you know, Hashem put us in this position, and we're here basically to hold up the flag. So it's a zchus to be here, to be part of Chazak, to be able to be give chizuk to klal Yisrael, and to give over the message, and to be here in part of Rabbi Asher, Rabbi Krohn. It's very humbling. Just to give you a little bit of a background, we grew up in in Montreal. All my boys went to yeshiva in Montreal. And Dovi was he graduated in Montreal, and he went to yeshiva in Lakewood under Rabbi Feigelstock. He was there for almost 3 years. He was basically He was his right-hand man. His rosh yeshiva really loved him. He loved his rosh yeshiva. And it wasn't easy yeshiva, either, but he figured out how to make it work with his rosh yeshiva. And he really he really grew there. And his [clears throat] rosh yeshiva was able to appreciate him help helping each other, basically. He was a smart boy, but he didn't It wasn't the type of boy to show off that he was smart. So whatever the rosh yeshiva wanted, whether he was learning with his regular chavrusa, or if he wanted to learn with other boys, if he learned with boys which needed the help, they wouldn't even know that he was there to give them the extra help. And again, these stories I'm only hearing afterwards, after the fact. I didn't know at the time. I just knew he was doing well, baruch Hashem, and we were happy he was in a good yeshiva shtieging. After almost 3 years, he wanted to go to to Eretz Yisrael. This is going back to um Pesach 2020, March 2020, as everybody can remember, was height of Corona, everything was shutting down, and nobody was able to go to Eretz Yisrael at the time. So those first 3 months, you know, nobody knew what's going on, and then we figured uh we have to slowly get out of uh COVID. I know New York, but Lakewood, COVID was over after 3 months, but in Canada it was on for another 2 years after that. So he went that Elul month, he went to Eretz Yisrael. And [clears throat] at that point, actually, Canada was a green country, so he was able to go to yeshiva in right away, and arrange shiurim. He was busy arranging shiurim and everything. He went a couple of days before his friends. And um and then he uh he called me, said, "Listen, my friends are coming in the next 2 days, but because they're coming from America, they they got to go to bidud, quarantine." So he was He went to the Mir, which is a very big yeshiva for who doesn't know, thousands of boys there. But at that first month that it was right open up, only a couple hundred boys were going. The real diehards really wanted to go and be there. And Dovi was one of them. So anyway, he tells me that his friends are going They're coming, and they're all going to Yam HaMelech. Well, not Yam HaMelech, but right by Ein Gedi area. There they had like some old youth hostel which yeshiva to go over. And the way the rabbaim gave shiurim, they would actually stand outside, and all the boys would come out on the balcony and give the shiur. And this is like August, where it is like 120° weather. But they really they were committed to learn, and the rabbaim were there to really teach them. And they were there, but it wasn't easy. After a week, he calls me up, and says, "Daddy, the the the food's like it's getting it's getting rough." Says he wants to He wants to order from Holy Teman. I don't know if people know Holy Teman, but it's one of the most famous shawarma places where most of yeshiva bochurim, seminary girls, and people like me, also, which is the best uh shawarma falafel you can get, pretty much. So he made an order of Holy Teman. He said he can't just order for himself, he's going to order for all his friends, and have the taxi pick it up. So he ordered for 3,000 shekel. Just I gave him a little bit of extra koach to keep going, and he was just happy to share it with all his friends. That's the kind of boy Dovi was. So we're doing certain things in Dovi's zchus. He was always there for his friends, but now we want to be there and do it in his zchus for the world. His brother got engaged after Sukkos, and he [clears throat] really wanted to come home for that engagement, but then it was very hard to leave Eretz Yisrael, you know. Once Once you were there, they wanted you really to to stay there. And um he really tried hard, but he saw that it wasn't working. Um, so he said, "Okay, we'll have to make the engagement party in His deera was in Beit Yisrael. People don't know Beit Yisrael. It's in Yerushalayim around the Mir. A little apartment, but he had a little front yard, courtyard. And he told me he's starting to need some money, you know, we got to make a an event. He says he actually wants one of his friends which likes to cook. And, he was actually a yesom. He lost his father. And he said, "I want to give it to him cuz I want him to help him prepare." So, okay. And I I'm I'm remembering these things only after the fact with the we're talking about stories. But bottom line is there was about 200 boys which showed up there. Whoever didn't have corona, they definitely got it after that party. But he wanted his his friend of his to do the cooking because he knows he's a yesom and he enjoyed doing it and to give him the he went to buy all the raw meat. And then he said, "I need an extra $500 to buy more because there's kept on coming more boys." This boy actually, baruch Hashem, is married today. I met him by the Kosel Ma'aravi. He came over to me and and I didn't I didn't know him from before and he told me the story. He said he lost his father. His father was buried in Har HaZeitim and he came to Israel like probably his first time. Um, maybe it was at the levaya and he he never went back. And he was scared to go to say Kaddish because Har HaZeitim it's scary, you know, with the Arabs. And he just came out of the woods. It was his first month. And when Dovi found out that he lost his father, which was a few weeks after he got there, he arranged right away um, minivan and like an an armed guard and everything. They went to say to them by the kever. And again, Dovi never told me any of these stories. So, I'm hearing this from his friends who came over to us and told us the He was a very special yeshiva boy, there's no question about it. But he had a real emunah in himself, real emunah and bitachon. He used to as joking around, he would used to tell me, "Ah, Dovi, Hashem nosan, Hashem lokach." And I said, "Dovi, we don't talk like that." But he he really meant it, you know. You have to be safe and bright. If we can give, we should try to help and do whatever we can. He had a little electric bike that, he he bought over there going to going to yeshiva. And he never locked it. And again, I'm hearing these stories from his friends after he was niftar. This So, he said, he told his friend, "No, Hashem one knows that I have to go learn and I mean it seriously I'm going to learn. So, I'm taking my bike, I'm going to yeshiva and it's going to be there for when I go home." And it really was. His older brother which got married and was living in Atz Tzion afterwards, took the bike. But his emunah wasn't as strong as his and within a week it was gone. I think they they left him the lock, but they took the bike. So, he was there pretty much all over the winter. He came home my second son which got married around Purim time. I was there with the chasan. He missed the engagement. He came home for the wedding and he went back to his old yeshiva. And he reconnected not just with the boys over there during most of the boys were already, you know, also leaving Atz Tzion, but some of them were still there. But there was a whole bunch of new boys there, younger boys. So, he's coming as a 20 almost 21, well, he was 21 there at the time, coming back to his old yeshiva. And he's learning with these younger boys and he just he brought a whole life to the yeshiva. So, even though he's coming as, um, you know, he wasn't there for the whole year, but he just fit in right back in. And I remember the yeshiva just tell me this he was just he made Dovi being there made his life easier. But we do have a tremendous hakaras hatov to Rabbi Feigenbaum for being and guiding him and making get to that stage. But this dream, he was supposed to go for a year from Pesach not to go back, but, uh, he really wanted to be like Boimy Friedman. So, he said he's going to go back for one more zman, that summer zman. And we said, "Okay, you can go back for the one summer zman." And then when the obviously corona was getting easier and everything, and this was the first time that um, it was closed Meron was closed the previous year. It was very sad for the for the whole world, but unfortunately that's what it was. And, um, Dovi said he's going to Meron. But he wasn't just going to Meron. He was going to Meron with 18 friends. They rented a minivan. They rented a villa there. They wanted to go and to be part of it. Not just to go as a bochur to come for a few hours and dance and go home. They went the day before. They got special permission. They left after seder. They set up outside the the villa where they rented like a table to give, high rotel. High rotel is basically giving out free drinks and making bochurs and shluchim making bochurs by Reb Shimon. But that Reb Shimon's neshama had no leyer and he was busy with that with all his friends. And that night he actually even was there. He was putting the oil before and helped his friend to get into the VIP section. Like I said, he was a chavrusa man. He was able to get to where we had to to go. And as we all know, it was very, tragic and there was 45 people which were niftar that night after they were a couple of them were al kiddush Hashem. And again, stories that we heard afterwards, he tried him and his friend Yossi Kohn tried saving two little kids and they actually saved one of them. The other one was a bochur. And these are only stories that I heard afterwards. But like I said, he was always there for everybody. He was there for his friends and that's what we doing with the neshamos. We should be there for klal Yisrael and for the world. I'll say a story I just heard recently about 6 weeks ago. One of his friends which was, a boy just got engaged, we got him got married. He was 27 years old. So, he was at the time of 21, 22. And one of his friends came over to me by the office of the Montreal. He said, "Mr. Steinmetz, I got to tell you you haven't heard this story yet." I said, "I'm always happy to hear new stories because unfortunately when somebody you lose somebody the the story stop, but you hear, you know, when life stops, but you can hear things that we haven't heard before." And the levaya was a very big levaya. Must have had about 5, 6,000 people if not more. Har HaMenuchos was full. And anybody that had any kind of connection with him was there. And probably people who didn't know him was also there. So, this boy that told me the story actually was at the levaya and he because he he said he was friends with Dovi. But he said this other boy, he came back from the levaya and was learning in Pregers yeshiva, not in the Mir, different yeshiva. And he was just in his deera and he was sobbing uncontrollably. He couldn't catch himself. And he said, "I don't understand. I mean, it's very sad it's tragic, but like what what happened? You knew anybody there?" He said, "Actually, I knew Dovi Steinmetz." I said, "How did you know Dovi?" This boy was from Boston learning in Pregers. My Dovi is from Montreal. In the Mir, he wasn't in he was another town boy. So, he said, he got to he got to Atz Tzion. He said, you know, his father told him, "You're a good boy. You got into Pregers. You're 20, 21 years old. Here's some money. You'll make your way to yeshiva." First time he ever he's going to Atz Tzion. He gets to Israel, gets to the airport. For those of you who have been there, you know, it could be sometimes when it's busy pretty challenging getting out, especially for the first time. And he's asking, different he's got to go to Pregers. Pregers? Israelis are looking at Pregers. What's a Pregers? Nobody knows Pregers. Pregers is the rosh yeshiva. His name is Rabbi Pregers. I'm sure the yeshiva has another name. I don't know if it's the the real name. And then he was really like feeling totally lost and was like in tears. Couple of minutes later, big guy knocks him on the shoulder, taps him on the shoulder. As you can tell, I'm in the middle of a No, he was a little shorter than me. I'm 6'5", he was 6'4". And he says, "What's wrong? What's [clears throat] going on? Can I help you?" So, he says, "Yes, I have to I'm going to Pregers. I don't know where to go. I don't know how to get there. I don't have a deera. I don't have anything." So, Dovi tells him, "Don't worry. I'll take care of you. Come with me." He brought him He brought him to Yerushalayim. He got him a phone. He set him up in a deera. And no, he said he saw Dovi in yeshiva and he didn't see him since. But those few months later, after, you know, he was at the levaya and he felt So, this is how he touched random bochurs. And again, this is a story that I heard 6 weeks ago. >> This is the background. When I go move forward and tell you a little bit of the journey we're on cuz we're all on a journey. We're waiting for Messiah but we're on a journey to try to bring Messiah. Today would be nice. We went back to Monticello. We sat We sat shiva Monticello just for the day. We had thousands of people came to be menachem avel. Again, it was the height of corona so we knew once we leave we go to Montreal people couldn't really get into Canada. So anybody I have five boys. I have a lot of family cousins living in New York area so everybody came that day. For those of you maybe remember the time we actually sang Ani Ma'amin by the shiva. It went around. That wasn't planned. It was a I remember I was sitting there and it was you know full house friends and Dovi's friends and I I said maybe we could sing one of Dovi's favorite songs. And we just started singing Ani Ma'amin. When we sang that Ani Ma'amin Ani Ma'amin filled the whole house coming up and I felt Dovi was singing there with us. But that was just the beginning of it. Because having emunah is not something it just happens from one second to the next. This is something which you have to constantly work on. And like Rabbi says before hermetically Rabbi, right? You have to live it, talk about it, sing about it and then it gets part of you. So you know, our grandparents were all Holocaust survivors. I'm my grandfather's I'm the oldest grandson so I grew up hearing the most stories from him. And every simcha everywhere I went all he could say thanking Hashem for being able to build up a offspring and a Yiddish adult. The same bracha every time. And I remember hearing the same message from my wife's grandparents cuz I'm living Montreal almost 30 years. And you know, they were nifter about 10 years or 15 years ago. And they used to say the same message thanking Hashem that we're able to set up and build again. So we we clearly saw leading we've been building since Avraham Avinu. This is nothing new. But everything happens for a reason. Hashem orchestrates everything and everything is good. We just don't always understand it. I mean even the way I'm here. The mayor of Collins me last week and says he wants to do something I'm going to say I call it like my mom is coming up. It's the 50th year anniversary. >> [clears throat] >> So I said next week you know, it was a little but you know what? We're here. And this coming up shabbos parshas acharei mos acharei mos if you think about it, it's a little bit of a depressing parsha. You know Aharon's kids were nifter. Why couldn't he pick one of the names? Nadav and Avihu. I mean it could have been So I actually heard this from Rabbi Bender from the shul of Yeshiva. The acharei mos what he wanted to bring out the acharei mos kedoshim you have after they were nifter we're picking ourselves up. Aharon picked the other coin picked himself up and said I'm here. We're going to keep going. We lift myself up. This is the lesson we're learning from Aharon HaCohen. And I didn't know that I'm going to be here this week. But this is where Hashem put me. But I can tell you from my own experience as losing a child not not easy. And we do need tremendous tremendous siyata d'Shmaya. But in order to move forward and again I'm saying moving forward because we're on a journey. We're not moving on. We're moving forward and every day is a challenge and everybody has challenges. Unfortunately people have you know situations that you lose a loved one from bias, parnassah, schools. Everybody has challenges. But by being machazik and by keeping going on and we know yes Hashem is doing things for a reason. We don't understand it. I'm not so smart. I'm not even trying to understand it cuz it's you'll go a little bit crazy trying to understand it. But we're on a journey in order to bring Messiah and Hashem is doing everything for the good. And let me tell you how we started this journey with Ani Ma'amin. We got up from shiva erev shabbos and we went to shul. I daven in the shul in Montreal. Our roof is on Avraham Zaltzman. He speaks before most of every every shabbos for 5 minutes. And the whole klal Yisrael was broken at the time. Our shul was broken. My Dovi I mean my kids grew up in the shul. The bris was there. The upsherin was there. The bar mitzvah was there. All for for the I hold the kids. He said what can we do? What can we do to give each other chizuk? So he gave out 100 cards. And now we got the newer cards. They're ready. You know as I'm learning we got to go a little branding so they want the book is blue, the card is going to be blue. But somebody here in the audience showed me before one of the original cards which is all the And he gave out cards to just to the shul with about 100 people in the daven in the shul. And he says whoever says Ani Ma'amin keep saying it and whoever doesn't say it should start saying it and should be as kosher as Dovi for the shul. That month of shabbos I thought to myself I said let me see if I can get to 1,000 people by the following shabbos. 10,000 people the week after and then we'll see wherever Hashem sends us. And it just kept spreading and spreading. And people asking for more. People sending to camps and to shuls and to schools. And today it was printed over 300,000 cards worldwide. And this is because people want the cards and people appreciate the cards and it gives them it gives them something to hold on to. Something Ani Ma'amin is I'm just holding the flag. Hashem put me in this position. But the message we're trying to give in my Dovi's zechus is I mean the shul is having an aliyah but it's to keep the Ani Ma'amin going. This is it's not it's nothing new. But it talks to everybody. Shlosh esrei ikarim whether you're Sefardi Ashkenaz, Chassidish, Litvish, Lubavitch. Doesn't make a difference. I'll tell you random people coming over to me. I was davening in Monsey in Shaarei Tefillah as you all know it's one of the busiest shuls in the world. And a Chassidish guy comes over to me and says are you this time? I said yes. So he says you should know I went through something very hard and I took Ani Ma'amin and I was looking at the rain going. I said it with tears running down my cheeks and in my ears my eyes. A random person came over to me and it really helped him. Again, this is the Rambam made Ani Ma'amin. This is not me. But we're all saying it. I've been I've been actually saying it for many many years even before the tragedy happened. And it's definitely helped me. That morning actually I remember my son I sent him to the room that he was in Monticello to go daven over there and then we daven netz and and he sent me a picture of Ani Ma'amin. So it was always part of us. I went to give chizuk to the soldiers in Gaza right after the war October 7th a couple months after. We actually we like to my Dovi's Dovi's birthday is my seudah so it comes out in February. So we like to go for his birthday. We like to go for his yahrzeit. So that's when it was birthday came out so we went down which was you know, a couple months after October 7th. And you know, a lot of people going down making barbecues for the soldiers. I was actually eating from the barbecue with the soldiers. >> [clears throat] >> And I'm talking to them and I'm telling them you know, that I lost my son and what we're doing for him. And these these are are the soldiers which are not from and but they know about it. They know about the shul. You know, they said ken anachnu yodim ma zeh shlosh esrei ikarim. They asked me ten lanu kartisim. Anachnu rotzim kartisim. We sent thousands of cards to to to to Israel. We we were sending duffel bags. It was going. And they and they were holding on to it. I mean I got pictures people sending me from you know, fighting areas just to bring the message. Again, to strengthen ourselves day and talk to him. This is something like I say talks to everybody. No matter what color yarmulke you wear or whether you wear my yarmulke or no yarmulke. It's not just about it's about us believing so so Hashem believing in us. Cuz we as Yidden as being Klal Yisrael, the chosen nation I'm going to tell you a story that we heard actually my wife works for a Lubavitcher family. And on Simchas Torah Lubavitcher Rebbe's yahrtzeit she asked her boss tell me a nice story about the Lubavitcher Rebbe. So this story the she told me there was a she had a guest would come that Shabbos. Rabbi Avtzon is the chief one of the head shliach in Hong Kong in that area. And he was in Crown Heights to the boy's wedding. And he saw this older man dancing away at the wedding. But he was like he he couldn't dance. He was in this place and just clapping and he was just so happy. So he said, "Wow, mazel tov. You look so happy. What what's your connection?" So he says, "The chosson's my son." So he says, "Why don't you get up and dance?" So he says, "I can't." "But you look so happy, really." He says, "I can't." So what happened? He said, "I actually uh I'm shushing the mirror. I just had my birth." This was an old Russian person which had moved to the States 30 years earlier. And he went to the Lubavitcher Rebbe. You know everybody goes to the Lubavitcher Rebbe. And he went for brocha and he was about to get a dollar. And then the Lubavitcher Rebbe asked him, "Did you have a birth?" He says, "No." He says, "When you're going to get a birth?" So he's going to get a dollar. Anyway. So this Rabbi Avtzon hearing the story the way that um this person is all becoming emotional. And I'm sorry so Rabbi Avtzon takes the dollar out of his pocket and gives it to the seed. And the seed started breaking down and uncontrollably. That's when you after he asked him, "What what's what's going on?" So he told him the story. Sorry I mixed up a little bit. He said, "The Lubavitcher Rebbe promised I'm going to have a birth and I'm going to get a dollar. He was niftar a few years after I was there. And you're coming to me 30 years later and giving me a dollar at my son's chasunah?" The Lubavitcher Rebbe believed this was a Yid and he believed in him. He didn't know when, but Hashem has his calculations and eventually came. So emunah it's not it's us believing in HaShem but HaShem also believes in us as being Yidden and Klal Yisrael. You know once in a while we get a little we call it a kiss from Hashem. You know like we get a message from Dovid. Somebody called me up um last year Purim. And he said, "I got to tell you this story." He was on his way to Meron when the tragedy happened and the bus turned around. So he never made it there. And the following year was his wife's it was a newly married couple and he was she wouldn't let him go. So he went to his so she was like, "What can I do? My wife doesn't want to go but I really want to go down by Reb Shimon." So he said, "Listen, you can't go there. You should learn from the sefer certain sefer told him to go find it was the And in that zchus you can connect to Reb Shimon." He's looking for the sefer all over and he couldn't find it. Kept looking. Anyway, he went with his wife on Purim. He went to the Kotel. Went to daven. And he was going to go take the bus back and the buses were crazy. They weren't coming. Tried to get a taxi, another taxi. Nobody's stopping. Finally taxi on the other side. So he says, "Yeah, come come." Finally he gets into the taxi. And then they started driving. [clears throat] And he sees on the dashboard there's a sefer that he's looking for. So he asks his taxi driver "What how do you get the sefer? I've gone to 100 different seforim stores. I couldn't find it." He says, "I'll tell you." He says, "You know, 3 years ago my grandma you know like grandma's always busy in the sort of coming and going catching buses going to Meron coming back from Meron. So anyway the sefer ended up in my in my car. Unfortunately the next day I'd given a ride to boy named Tzvi Steinmetz which is Dovid's older brother. And he had taken him then he was going to take him to unfortunately had to take him to Abu Kabir to confirm. And the sefer was in his car. Afterwards he noticed the sefer I'm sorry. Afterwards he noticed the sefer after he dropped off Tzvi and everything. It wasn't my son Tzvi's sefer. He's a good boy but he wasn't such a deep learner. And uh he asked he called his his Rav. He says, "Manny, what's my sefer? What do I do with the sefer?" So he says, "Listen, you obviously you don't know who it belongs to. But you know that you had one of the kedoshim's brother was in your car. You know unfortunately you were part of the shlichus to to you know. Leave it in the car and whoever comes that wants to learn which will be a zchus l'iluy nishmas." And again this is random stories coming out from people calling to say Ani Ma'amin takes 90 seconds. 90 seconds. Not something that we're telling you to take hours and learn. You can say whenever you want. However you want. But I can tell you one thing from the hundreds of thousands of cards that we've given out. Yeah, we just printed another 15,000 cards right before Pesach. People want the cards. People feel they have they can hold on to it. Hold on to the Ani Ma'amin. It gives them chizuk. It gives them koach. Just you let it sink in. Our great grandparents were going on the trains to the to to Auschwitz. They were saying Ani Ma'amin. This is part of us. This is this is who we are. But when you let it sink in sink in, you sing it. You live it. You will feel it. And you'll feel better also. Again like I say I'm holding up the flag in Dovid's zchus. We didn't choose this. This is what Hashem wanted. But the hundreds of thousands of Yidden worldwide and you know like I said it was nice to see coming in that people heard about me too cuz again I've never been to Queens yet. But it gives us chizuk coming to a strange place and people saying you know we we we say Ani Ma'amin. We learn the book. The book is giving us you know. So appreciate as much as possible. Spread the spread the message. Give it to your friends. Give it to the schools. shuls And you know it's 190 seconds at a time. So may Hashem in that zchus that we're all bringing the message together we can bring Mashiach may Hashem today. Please join me for your powerful powerful remarks. As he mentioned of course the Ani Ma'amin cards everyone got it's inside the book. But of course we have hundreds that have been printed that are on the table. Of course take some for your friends for your family for classmates. And of course everyone should continue the Ani Ma'amin initiative. And of course somebody who is a Rabbi who is and spreading emunah to tens of thousands of people through the daily emunah daily chizuk every single week every single day. And of course his his his seforim his books have inspired about the topic of emunah hundreds of thousands of people around the world. A Rabbi who is who is a who is living emunah literally and that's why his messages resonate with so many people. So it's a great great zchus to call upon Rabbi Dovid Ashear. Good evening. Reb Shmuel Rabbi Kron Kahal Kadosh Thank you for inviting me tonight in this night of emunah. The uh speaker before me is a walking Kiddush Hashem. For somebody to go through a tragedy like that and be interested in spreading emunah worldwide is a worldwide Kiddush Hashem a shliach. Hashem should give you nachas from your entire family b'ezras Hashem. So we read in this week's parashah we just read when a woman gives birth she has a baby boy and it says she becomes tamei'ah for a certain amount of days for 40 days. The Midrash writes on that pasuk meshabechin anu leshmo shel Avraham Avinu. We should praise the name of Avraham Avinu oto sheba merachok, the one who came from afar. Like it says vayaret hamakom merachok, he saw the place from afar. And the meforshim are bothered, what in the world does this have to do with a woman in childbirth? Praise the name of Avraham who was the one who saw from afar? What's the explanation? The Chidushei Harim gives a beautiful explanation here. He says the parashah that we read has many different speaks about many different people who perhaps may feel that Hashem is pushing them away. Imagine you have a woman who was involved in one of the greatest mitzvot that we have, peru u'revu. She gives birth to a baby boy. This boy may be become the gadol hador. Imagine this took place a few days before Pesach. Because of her tum'at childbirth, she's but she's banned from the Bet Hamikdash. She cannot bring the korban Pesach. She can't even bring Pesach Sheni because she's still going to be tameh. She may say, "Hashem, I'm involved in your mitzvot. I'm trying to do good. And now I'm not welcome into the Bet Hamikdash. I can't do the mitzvah. How could that be?" We go a little further, it talks about the metzora. The Gemara says about someone with tzara'at, einenu ela mizbeach kaparah. Someone who gets tzara'at is a like a altar of of atonement. Some say it's yissurin shel ahava. Not every form of tzara'at comes as a result of an avon. And it's possible that the person did not speak lashon hara. He didn't was not tzara ayin, but he got tzara'at for a different reason. And what happens to this person? He has to be in quarantine first. For 1 week, 2 weeks, then he has to be sent out of all the camps. He can't come to shul. He can't say kaddish. He can't answer amen. He say, "Hashem, why? You don't want me to come to shul? You don't want me to come be a part of a minyan?" And the pas- pesukim continue, we talk about a zav and a ba'al keri, all different forms of people who possibly for no fault of their own become tameh. And now they can't participate in the holiest. Imagine people on their way used to be so glorious making aliyah three times a year going up to Yerushalayim. People would bring their entire families, even the little children would come. And they all are antici- anticipation to be seen by Hashem in the Bet Hamikdash. Imagine someone gets there and they find out they became tameh. All of their traveling, "Sorry, you can't come in. You're not welcome into the Bet Hamikdash." People could feel so distanced. "Hashem, you don't want me?" This happens in our lives all the time. We try so hard, we're doing good, and then we feel like Hashem {quote} {unquote} is pushing us away. How are we supposed to feel at times like that? The Midrash says, "Praise is the name of Avraham." Go look and see what Avraham Avinu would do at a time like that when he when he feels like he's being pushed away. As we know, Avraham Avinu had a life's mission spreading the name of Hashem. That's all he did day and night. Tens of thousands of people bringing them tachas kanfei hashchinah. He fought the whole world. And what does he want? One child to carry on in the legacy, to continue on just for the sake of Hashem. And he waited decades and finally after Yocheved she's given his child, imagine the euphoria, Yitzchak is born. And Yitzchak, Avraham must have invested all of his koachot. And when he's 5 years old, imagine the love that Avraham had for him. When he's 10 years old, the love increased. And he's 15, and he's 20, and Avraham's giving him all the tools. And then when he's 37 years old, in the prime of his life, Hashem says, "And now I want you to take him and I want you to slaughter him." Avraham Avinu said, "What? All I wanted to do is use Yitzchak to serve you. I'm trying to promote your name in this world, Hashem. You don't want it? You don't like what I'm doing? You don't want my avodah?" Avraham could have felt a push, a pushback. But what did Avraham do? Avraham got up, he woke up in the morning. He says, "Hashem, if this is what you want now, this is what I'll do. Whatever you want, I'm an eved Hashem." And Avraham went and he went with zerizut and he did the mitzvah to the best of his ability. Avraham at that time, the Zohar says, all of the lights of shamayim were were hidden from him. He had no He didn't feel it, but he went anyway. And Avraham Avinu arguably did the greatest act of all time at a moment where he might have felt being pushed off. This is what we tell these people. You think Hashem was pushing Avraham away? This is what made Avraham the greatest. This is what made Avraham who he was. When you feel like Hashem is pushing you away, he's not. He's never pushing you away. He's giving you a chance to grow, to grow higher and higher by accepting what he wants. You think when someone is supposed to bring a korban and he becomes tameh, Hashem says, "You know what? I don't want your korban." Heaven forbid, Hashem loves our korbanot. You know what Hashem is saying? Hashem is saying, "I don't want a korban right now. I want something greater from you now. I want after all the toil you put in, all the effort, and you're not going to do exactly the way you wanted it. I want you to say, 'Hashem, I want to do it the way you want it.'" And that makes a person so great. This is what elevates a person in this world. This is what made Avraham so great. And this is what could make all of us so great. In a few weeks, less, we're going to have Lag BaOmer. Imagine the great Rebbi Shimon bar Yochai, gadol hador, how many people must he have had in his community spreading Torah on a daily basis. And he finds himself in a cave on the run for his very life. What must he have been doing in there? "Hashem, get me out of here. Please, Hashem, I want to go back to my family. I want to spread Torah." If he would have sat there in the cave and just cried every day, "Hashem, just take me out," it would have been understandable. But he he understood, "Hashem, if you want me here now, that means there's a job for me now to do." And he got down and he learned Torah like he never learned before. And he became from the greatest rabbis of all time producing the Zohar Hakadosh. Yes, he missed minyan every day. He didn't shake the lulav and etrog. He didn't eat the matzah on Pesach. He had none of that. But he did what Hashem wanted. Life's not necessarily about doing what we feel is the right thing. Life is about doing what Hashem wants you to do. This is the message of the Midrash. This is the message of Rebbi Shimon bar Yochai. And this talks to us so loudly. How many times do we come and we pray and we ask Hashem for something and there's no response. And we keep going and we give ourselves chizuk, "Kaveh el Hashem, chazak ve'ametz libecha." And we pray again, and we pray again, and we pray again. And then it comes to a point and we may think, "What am I asking for, Hashem? Why are you making it so hard? I'm asking to serve you. I want a husband to serve you. I want a child to serve you. I want health to serve you. Why aren't you giving it to me?" And people can get turned off and say, "Okay, Hashem, if you don't want me, I'm not coming back anymore." It's understandable, but it would be misreading Hashem. What does it say in Chazal? Why did Hashem make our imahot barren? Because he desired their tefillot. They could have easily said, "Hashem, why aren't you answering me? How many years did Sarah pray? Sarah must have prayed for 20 30 40 50 50 years asking Hashem for the same request. Can't you just give me a child, Hashem?" What would have been if she stopped? Not being answered for so many years, Chazal say no, the opposite. The reason why she was barren with so long was because her prayers were making her into Sarah Imenu. She was becoming so great. You know what's so great about it? It's because she could have said 100 times, "Hashem must be you don't want to hear me anymore cuz I keep asking and asking and you show no response. Must be you don't want me." She could have said that. The value of a tefillah made when a person feels like that, when a person feels Hashem doesn't want me, yet they come back and they pray with strength and with tears, one tefillah like that is worth more than who knows how many regular tefillot. It was davka because they waited so long, because they weren't answered, is what made them so great. You think Hashem was pushing away the greatest women of all time by not answering them. He was creating the greatest women of all time. When something is so hard to do, you have to know that's where the value is. That's where we can grow so much. When somebody is looking for a zechut, sometimes the Gemara says tefillah and good deeds could change decrees. We want a good deed. We want a good merit. What could we do? One of the things we could do is when we have a question, "Hashem, why you doing this? Why you making it so hard for me? I'm trying so hard. Why aren't you listening to me? Why aren't you helping me?" And instead of asking that question, you say, "Hashem, you know better what I need. I'm going to continue serving you. I'm going to continue praying to you." What a great zechut that would be. People who are studying, I'm not one of them, they're studying the Daf Yomi and the Yerushalmi. Someone showed me today, it says in the Yerushalmi, I think it's today's daf or yesterday's daf, we say this during the Asidic Teshuvah, Misha Anala Avraham Avinu Bahara Moriah, the one who answered Avraham on Hara Moriah, he should answer us. The question is, what was Avraham praying for at Hara Moriah? He wanted to do the Akedah. He wasn't praying for Hashem to get him out of it. Chazal say he was begging Hashem to do it. What does it mean Hashem answered him at Hara Moriah? And the Gemara says, "You know what it means? Avraham told Hashem afterward, I could have asked so many questions. It was such a contradiction. You told me Ki Bi Yitzchak Yikarei Lecha Zara, and then you say Halelu Sham Le'Olam. I could have asked the question, but I never asked. I trusted you, Hashem. Please, Hashem, please, in the future, when my children are sinning in the end of days and they're wrapped up in the throes of sin, please give them the benefit of the doubt. And and bring them the Mashiach despite the fact that they're sinning. Look at the good of them." And Hashem said, "Okay, I'll give it to you." At that time, Hashem promised he will never forsake us. And even if we're sinning, we're going to get the Mashiach because Avraham gave Hashem, quote unquote, the benefit of the doubt. And Hashem said, "Okay, I'm going to answer you now. I'll give your children the benefit of the doubt." What a zechut, Avraham not asking the question, not asking, just trusting. That was his zechut that's going to bring the geulah sheleimah to us. What a wondrous avodah it is when we may feel Hashem doesn't want Doesn't make sense. Hashem, I'm trying so hard. Don't you see what I'm doing? Don't you see how hard? Don't you see how much I'm trying? Somebody once told me, he said he was begging Hashem for help. He said there were many possible outcomes that maybe would have been somewhat happy with, but after all of his efforts and all of his tefillot, he said the worst possible scenario unfolded. He said it became unbearable for him to continue praying after that happened. And I said, "Perhaps Hashem is giving you the opportunity right now to get the greatest zechut of all, to trust him after the greatest letdown, to be able to go back and pray again after this happened." The purpose of life is not always to get our immediate request. The purpose of life is to become true of the Hashem. And when someone has a test like that, the next tefillah is so great. Someone told me he was doing a segulah to get married. It took him a whole year this segulah and he was waiting for his answer to come. But after time went on, nothing changed. He said, "What? I I'm doing segulot. Why aren't they working?" A woman told me, "I was so careful in tznius because Chazal say you're going to have good children, but it didn't happen. How could I continue on when I'm not seeing the results?" One answer to this question is, it says in Pirkei Avot, "Schar mitzvah mitzvah." The reward Hashem gives us in doing a mitzvah is that he gives you a chance to do another one. We don't see it because we're not there, but this world is nothing in comparison to the next world. This world is fleeting. A gift that you get in this world is nothing compared to what Hashem can give you in the next world. The greatest commodity you could have in this world is doing a mitzvah b'sheleimut, is doing a mitzvah the right way. If somebody took upon themselves to do something and they're waiting patiently for the segulah to come, but it doesn't come. At that moment, they have to know Hashem gives giving you such an opportunity right now. If you will overcome, cuz you don't understand him. You don't understand. Of course, everything you did was valuable and it's going to get credit and you're going to get what you're going to get. But if you could overcome this, this is the greatest schar. He's giving you a chance now to grow in ways that may take in a regular scenario of life months or years to accomplish. Yosef HaTzaddik was given one of the most difficult tests in all of history. With superhuman strength, he overcome it. He overcame it. We could only imagine in Mitzrayim what Yosef's tefillot were on a daily basis. He's working for Potiphar. Hashem, please get me back to my father. I want to I want the kedusha. I want to be surrounded by holiness. I'm in the lowest place in the world. Please, Hashem, help me. Help me. And then he's given this test with Eshet Potiphar. And he overcomes it. Imagine what Yosef's thinking. Now Hashem is finally He's going to In the zechut of what I did, maybe the greatest deed, Hashem's going to help me. But what happened instead? He gets thrown into prison for 12 years. That's what happens after you stand up for Hashem with superhuman strength? And it says "Vayehi Sham Beveit Ha'Asurim." The Midrash says that the entire time in jail, Yosef remained with his same righteousness. You think that Hashem wasn't rewarding Yosef? You know what his reward was? You now have a chance to prove that you're Yosef HaTzaddik. A letdown after your great zechut and you're still religious and you're still strong, that's going to make you Yosef HaTzaddik. You think you're being let down? Hashem is giving you a chance to soar. Yosef HaTzaddik, you think you didn't get rewarded for Eshet Potiphar? Fast forward. When millions of people are standing by the Yam Suf crying out to Hashem, "We're going to die." And all of a sudden comes the Aron of Yosef and the sea splits and Yosef saves the entire Klal Yisrael. You don't think Hashem is watching everything you do? You don't think you're getting rewarded? You didn't see immediate benefits in this world, but you're going to see glory in the next world. You have a chance now to prove yourself. Are you going to continue? You did this We did 40 days no lashon hara and nothing happened. Well, what are you going to do now? Someone once said, he went to the Kotel for 40 straight days and nights praying for a shidduch. And after 40 days, you know what happened? Nothing. You know what he said? I said, "I'm going to go back and do it double." And he went back and prayed for 80 days. Eventually, he did get engaged. But you know what his greatest reward was? That he passed that test. He went back and he prayed again and again and again and again. And that was his real reward. Being able to soar and persevere when you didn't get what you wanted right away. You don't think Hashem appreciates? Yaakov Avinu was sitting al ha Torah for 63 years. He's learning Torah day and night surrounded by kedusha with his father and his mother. And all of a sudden, Yaakov's on the road. He's running for his life. And his life after that was hardship after hardship after hardship. Didn't Hashem appreciate all of his Torah, all of his mitzvot? Of course he did. But who knows how to make a person great like Hashem? Yaakov became so great from every challenge. Never think Hashem is pushing you away. He'll never push anyone away cuz he loves you more than you can imagine. He's drawing you closer, but you have to overcome. It's not easy. But the greatness comes from the toil. The greatness comes Nothing you go through is for nothing. Yaakov Avinu had a very difficult life. You might say, "You know, he wants a little peace." And then, "Oh, his his son 22 years Yosef." Why so many hardships? We'll never get to know the answer till the future. But there's a pasuk that says, "Yaakov asher padah et Avraham." Rashi writes in Maseches Sanhedrin, "Avraham was supposed to endure the difficulties of raising children that Yaakov had." But Yaakov's neshama took the nisyonot instead and he redeemed Avraham. Avraham's descendants were supposed to be in in Mitzrayim for 400 years. But the suffering of Yaakov took the place of that. And they were redeemed 190 years early. From the birth of Yitzchak, you know why? Because of all the troubles that Avraham's children had to go through took the place of millions of people's hardships. Yaakov, Yitzchak are getting credited for saving the Jewish people from 200 years of slavery with the brunt of their yissurin. That's just one side benefit. We have no idea the calculations of Hashem. But there's one thing that's for sure. Nothing is for nothing. You're going through what you're going through. You're becoming great. The worst thing we could do is say, "Hashem doesn't want me. Hashem is not interested. He's pushing me away." Man once told me, he said, "I'm an older single. I can't do anything else other than get married. I don't have no ratzon to do anything. Until I get married, I'm on strike." I told him, I said, "Listen to me. Marriage is a great thing and you have to keep trying. But don't you know there's a God? If he didn't bring you your shidduch, that means you have a whole 'nother plan to do before you get married. Don't waste it. If you didn't get the yeshua yet, that means Hashem is saying you have a little more to do. That time will never come back. Don't waste it. Don't stay home and say, "Oh, my life is terrible. I don't want to get out of bed." What we could gain during those times when we feel pushed away. Go and praise Avraham Avinu. Go back and Avraham, there was no one who was pushed more. And Avraham rose and became so great. How could it be there's so many questions in emunah? The the the the word emunah means we believe. We don't always have the answers. If we would know everything, it wouldn't be called emunah. Emunah means I believe Hashem knows. He has a plan. I trust in him. So many questions. Lo aleinu, today they recovered the body of the second boy. They were going to the mikveh. They were purifying themselves. How could it be? Shiluach shiluchei mitzvah einan nizokin. So many questions. Pure boys, pure innocent boys. How could these things happen in the middle of a mitzvah? Rav Chaim Kanievsky zatzal was once asked this question. There were two boys who passed away sleeping in the succah. He said, "How could that be? They're in the middle of a mitzvah." And Rav Chaim quoted the Maharsha regarding the story of Sarah Imeinu. When Sarah Imeinu was told the news of Akedat Yitzchak, and she passed away. And the Maharsha says, "They were in the middle of a mitzvah." How could Sarah, how could Avraham and Yitzchak get negatively affected from the mitzvah? And the Maharsha said, "You know what it means shiluach mitzvah einan nizokin. You're not going to get damaged from performing the mitzvah, but it doesn't mean that if a person's time to go is now, it's not going to extend his life." It was Sarah Imeinu's time to go at 127. That was her time. They didn't get damaged from the mitzvah. He says, "These two people in the succah was their time. But I'll tell you something. It says in Maseches Shabbat page 118, Rebbi Yossi said, 'I hope and pray to be in the next world next to people who died on the way to do a mitzvah. Yehi chelkem bemeitei baderech mitzvah.' I wish my portion in olam haba will be like them. If it is someone's time to go and Hashem gives it to him while they're doing a mitzvah, they're in the highest places of Gan Eden." We once had a tragedy in the hour community. A lady was on her way back from the mikveh many years ago on a Friday night. She got hit by a car. And the mashgiach of Lakewood said, he said, "Is there any better way to go up to Hashem purified from the pure waters of the mikveh?" She did not get injured because of the mitzvah. The time was there, but Hashem said, "When the time's going to come, I'm going to let you go up in the performance of a mitzvah and go to the highest places in Gan Eden." There's so many questions, so many things we don't understand. But we have to know it's not our job to have the answers. If we could believe and continue to believe when we don't have the answers, that is where our greatness lies. I'll conclude a story I heard about 4 years ago. Sometimes people they work for Hashem so hard. They sacrifice. They do everything. They feel like they gave their life for Hashem. And they don't see any reciprocation. Hashem, I gave up so much. Why does everybody else get and not me? The problem with us sometimes is we measure what Hashem gives us in the physical realms. Why? Why do I have to struggle with money? I'm trying so hard. There's so many more blessings in life than money and physicality. This is one of my favorite stories I ever heard. The story was told by Rabbi Yechiel Mechel Sudker. And he told the story called the man, we'll call him Joey. Joey, he received a share in the first public transport company in Israel called Shahar as part of his immigration privileges. This was a great stroke of good fortune for him. Then this company Shahar merged with another company called Hamikasher. And they formed the iconic Egged bus service. And the shares skyrocketed. The dividends that this Joey was earning from the share in Egged was enough to support his family comfortably. Yet, a problem resulted. For Torah observant Jews, because when Egged began, a large number of bus buses ran on Shabbat. And anyone who owned a share in this company would be profiting from Hilul Shabbat. So Joey went to ask the Rabbi of Haifa, Rabbi Avraham Yitzchak Kook, "What should I do? Is it permissible for me to keep the share?" Simply it was not allowed, but Rabbi Kook said at that time the poverty was so bad if he would give up his share he might have to go start collecting for his family. It was not a simple matter. He didn't want to answer the question. It could be pikuach nefesh and he sent him to the Gadol Hador the Chazon Ish. Mr. Joey traveled. He got to the Chazon Ish. Chazon Ish was bedridden, but they let him in cuz he traveled for more than a half a day to get there. And after hearing the question, the Chazon Ish said to him ein efsharut. There's no way to allow this. I'm sorry. When Mr. Joey heard this his heart dropped. But despite all his fears he accepted the ruling of the Gadol and he went to Egged's main offices. And when he arrived, he said, "Can I have the deed of my share?" And he ripped it into pieces. And he forfeited his share in the company and all the money. In that second, he was reduced from a man of means to a pauper. And instead of living in comfort, he became a low-wage vendor spending his days lugging around a heavy suitcase selling soap door to door. But despite his difficulties, he walked around with his held held held up head held head held up high knowing he sacrificed to do ratzon Hashem. Even when he was 80 years old, he still had to work every day while all of his old friends were retired reaping the benefits of the pensions and living off the shares that they got in Egged. In his later years, Mr. Joey ended up changing jobs and becoming a helper in a yeshiva building. One day he walked into the yeshiva with a beaming smile on his face. And one of the boys said "What happened? Why are you so happy?" He said, "This morning I was walking in one of the upscale neighborhoods on Mount Carmel and I bumped into an old acquaintance of mine, a former colleague from my days in Egged. He recognized me and said "You see all these beautiful houses around here? They all belong to the veteran Egged shareholders. Look at what you lost when you foolishly forfeited your share. That one share you had today would have been worth millions. We're all living it up in palatial homes with pools and cars and you're toiling away like a workhorse. How foolish you were." Mr. Joey said "I didn't answer him cuz I knew he would never understand. But I want to tell you why I'm smiling. Besides for my eternal rewards for what I gave up to keep Shabbat and honor Hashem I want to tell you something else. Tonight I will be attending a Siyum Hashas. And the Siyum is going to be made by my son. But this is not any old Siyum Hashas. My son was tested by Gedolim and he knows the entire Shas Baal Peh by heart. Tonight, there's going to be great rabbis from all over Eretz Yisrael attending this Siyum. And the room is going to be filled with my children, my children-in-law, my grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Every one of them filled with Torah and Yirat Shamayim. You see, Shabbat paid me back tenfold with the most nachat a person could have in this world. It's not always about the money. Hashem could pay us back in ways far beyond what money what money could ever do. Never ever feel that Hashem is pushing you away. Never stop believing because of a question because like the rabbis tell us, there's always an answer. And if you continue serving when you don't have the answer that makes your service infinitely greater and you'll only reap greater and greater rewards. Keep going. Keep shooting. Keep going higher and higher. The more the question, the greater our service is. We hope that very soon all the answers are going to come out. Hashem's going to say, "Here I am." Zeh Hashem kivinu lo. This is the Hashem that we've been hoping for. And there's going to be a long video with all the answers from all the questions throughout history. But those people who stayed with emunah going to be in the front lines and Hashem's going to say, "I'm proud of you. You never let up." It is people like the speaker we heard tonight who are from those great people who are able to get up in the in the darkness when it doesn't make sense and say, "Hashem, ani ma'amin. I believe in you." We are zocheh to be amongst great people. Baruch Hashem. May we all be zocheh to go mechayil el chayil and see that awesome glorious day of the Mashiach when all of our questions will be answered and we'll reap all of the great rewards. Amen ve'amen. tremendous words of emunah of strengthening. And of course, our next speaker, baruch Hashem, has inspired thousands of people around the world and and we're fortunate all dialing in from Push women. Of course, he's inspiring so many. He's a walking kiddush Hashem, living emunah, our dear friend, renowned speaker, moral author of Em Habanim Smecha. I'm deeply grateful to my dear friend Rabbi Abe Wolf for having invited me to come tonight to speak on such an important topic in our lives at the topic of emunah, belief. And it's such an honor to speak with Rav Dovid Ashear shlita who has written a book or written many many books that thousands and thousands of people have read and been inspired by. It's an honor to be with Steinmetz who is a a walking kiddush Hashem. I was going to bring you his book on Ani Ma'amin. I would just encourage every single person to buy it. It is so inspirational. You have a copy of the book here. I'm sure you could show it to everyone afterwards. And [snorts] you know, it's dedicated of course to his son Dovi z'l. It's a classic sefer called Ani Ma'amin and every person should get it. And I just want to tell you, for me to stay up here is such a thrill. Many of you know that I was a mohel for 55 years. I must have done a hundred bris in right up here, right in that section right there. So to come here at night, of course there's no bris at night, but I just want to thank Abe Feld. Abe Feld made the best scrambled eggs and the best catering at every bris that I was at. I couldn't wait to get back there and into the kitchen where he took care of me in a beautiful way. So Abe, if you're here still tonight, I just want to thank you so much. You know, as I told you, Steinmetz is one of the heroes and one of the people that is a walking talking kiddush Hashem Shamayim. And a number of years ago we know there was a terrible terrible terrible accident that shook every Jew in the world. That terrible incident in Meron when 45 young beautiful children and talmidei chachamim and kallah younger light were just crushed to death in the most horrendous way. And everybody was trying to make sense of that incident. And every one of us was so shaken. How could such a thing happen in Klal Yisrael? But I must tell you, the greatest comment I heard about that incident was said by Rabbi Nachman who's the one of the greatest speakers in Eretz Yisrael today. Now, I don't know. I've never been And if I meet him, the first thing I would ask him is this thing that I'm about to tell you. I'm going to ask him, "Was that your own thought or did you hear it from somebody else?" So cuz he didn't say if it was his own or somebody else. But tonight is a night of emunah. And emunah, what I'm going to do tonight in the next half hour, hopefully, is to teach everybody what emunah is and how to get it if you don't have it and how to live with it when you don't have it and when you think that it's far away as Rabbi Yishai was talking about. So first, let me tell you like this, that in Pirkei Avot, in the second perek, in the first mishna, it says Da ma l'ma'ala mimcha. Know what's on top of you. Everybody knows this mishna. Ayin ro'ah an eye sees v'ozen shoma'at and ear hears u'chom kol ma'asecha b'sefer nichatav. That's what the mishna says. And we all know that mishna, that Hashem has an eye and an ear and everything is written down. We all know this mission, but listen to how he taught it. But there are Jewish. Da no ma. Ma is gematria of 45. Ma, those 45 that passed away l'maila m'mcha is above you. There's no way that you can understand it. It's such a brilliant insight into that mission. Da, remember ma, those 45 who passed away in Marone l'maila m'mcha, it's above you. There's no way you can understand it. And that's the first thing that we have to know about emunah. The first lesson in emunah is that we can't understand Hashem's ways. Hashem has his own ways. And when Mashiach comes, as Rabbi Yishaya just mentioned, we'll understand all the answers to all the questions. But the first thing that we have to know about emunah is that we have faith in Hashem that he knows what he's doing and we can't understand his ways. And we all have many questions at many times. And that's normal. That's part of emunah. Knowing that you can't understand Hashem's ways. Now, I want to tell you a very personal story that happened with me. It's not easy to talk about because it's about the saddest part of my life. When I was only 21, my father was dying of cancer. And you're Ginsberg, right? So, my father and your father were very good friends in time. But my father was only 47 and he was he had to be in a hospital in Washington Heights for Shabbos. And he was a talmud of Rav Shimon Schwab when Rav Schwab and Rav Ruderman ran Ner Yisrael in Baltimore. So, my father called Rav Schwab and asked if me and my brother Kalman would be able to stay in his house for Shabbos so we could visit my father, you know, on Shabbos and we would stay by Rabbi Schwab. So, what happened was that after davening, my brother and I we went to the hospital to visit my father and then I came back to eat the soup that was with Rav Schwab and his wife. And Rav Schwab asked me, "So, how's your father?" So, I said to him, "Well, I have emunah that he'll be better." And he said to me, he looked me straight in the face and he said words that I'm still shocked that he said to me. He said, "Emunah does not mean that your father's going to get better. Emunah b'tachon does not mean your father's going to get better." Here I was going crazy. I was 21. I knew that if my father dies, I'm going to have to leave the yeshiva. I have to support my younger brothers and sisters and my mother and I I would be all on my own. And here this godol hador is telling me that emunah does not mean that your father's going to get better. But then he said, "I want to tell you what emunah means. Emunah means that you understand that Hashem has a plan and one day hopefully you'll be able to understand what that plan is." And that's really what emunah is all about. Emunah does not mean that everything is going to be good. My father died. That was awful. I had to leave the yeshiva. I had to become a I became a moyel. He had taught me how to be a moyel, but I had to support my my younger brothers and sisters. I walked down all my brothers and sisters together with my mother to their chasnah. And that was awful. Don't think emunah doesn't mean that everything's going to be good. Emunah means that Hashem has a master plan and one day hopefully we'll be able to understand it. But it doesn't mean that everything is always going to be good. That's not what emunah means. Emunah means that you understand that Hashem has a plan and that we can't always understand it. Now, I just want to show you something very interesting. We know that we always say tillum. Why do we say tillum? Because if you study the life of David, he had such a difficult life. And in tillum perek yud gimmel, the 13th perek, three different times he cries out, "Ad onah, for how long Hashem? Tishkacheini? How long you going to forget me?" Then again he says, "Ad onah tastir panecha mimeni? How long you going to hide your face from me?" And then he says again, "Ad onah oschis eitzah b'nafshi? Till when you're going to set schemes against me?" And yet in that same kapitel yud gimmel, he says, "Va'ani batachti v'chasdi I I trust in you." In other words, are you allowed to ask such a question? Why me? And I want to show you something. It's amazing. I'm going to tell you a gemara right now that in my life I would never be able to say such a thing except that the gemara in Bava Basra tes ayin alef says it. We know that Iyov had a lot of tzaros. And the gemara says, "Amar Iyov, Iyov said to Hashem, 'Ribbono shel Olam, shema ruach se'arah avrala lifanecha? What happened? A whirlwind got mixed got you mixed up? V'nishtachliv ben Iyov l'Oyev? Hashem, what happened? You got mixed up and you don't know how to spell my name? My name is Iyov, alef yud vav beis. What do you think? I'm Oyev, alef vav yud beis? What happened? You forgot to how to spell?'" That's what the gemara says that Iyov said to Hashem, "You can't even get these words out of your mouth." So, what does that mean? That you're allowed to ask why me. But look what Hashem said to him. Hashem said to Iyov, "Let me tell you something." And this is in Iyov lamed ches pasuk zayin. "Eifo hayisa b'yosdi aretz? Where were you when I laid the foundations to this world? How can you tell me anything, Dr. Green, if you're so smart?" In other words, Hashem has a master plan and many times we go through life and as we said before, we can't always understand Hashem's plans, but we have to trust. Emunah means, "Hashem, we know that you know what you're doing. I don't know what you're doing. I can't understand it and most people can't understand it. I mean, can anybody explain why so many people, rachmana litzlan, are being hurt and killed in Eretz Yisrael today? You know, every day when I daven for l'havdil he's sick with a cholerah rishah k'negad sarvein, I'm thinking of Iran, Hezbollah, Hamas. Why would Hashem allow these people? We can't understand it. One day we'll understand it. When Mashiach comes, we'll be able to understand it and that's when the answers will be. Now, the problem is that's what Hashem was saying to Iyov. 'I've got a plan that I started when I built the world. Eifo hayisa b'yosdi aretz? Where were you when I laid the foundations?' And if you don't know, you died early or you didn't live till the end of the story so you can't know it. Now, I want to tell you almost you could say is an adorable p'shat from the Chofetz Chaim. We all know in Ashrei we say, "Shomer Hashem es kol ohavav, v'es kol resha'im Hashem protects all who he loves v'es kol resha'im yashmid." And all the resha'im he wipes out. So, the Chofetz Chaim said, "What happens if a guy comes, leaves early from shul? He leaves early before the chazan finishes. So, what does he hear? 'Shomer Hashem es kol ohavav v'es kol resha'im Hashem watches all who he loves and all the resha'im.' Hashem, how come you watch you're protecting the resha'im? Tell it is you left shul early, you didn't hear 'resha'im yashmid.' Or let's say a guy comes in late. So, what does he hear? 'Es kol ohavav v'es kol resha'im yashmid.' All who he loves and all the resha'im he wipes out. Hashem, what are you doing? Tell it is that you you walked in late so you didn't hear the first part of 'Shomer Hashem es kol ohavav.' You just heard 'es kol ohavav v'es kol resha'im yashmid.' So, if a person doesn't live from the beginning of time until the end of time, you don't know the whole story. And that's why that's what emunah is all about. Emunah is knowing that Hashem has a master plan and if you have emunah, that's that's all Hashem wants. Just trust me. I know what I'm doing. You might not understand what I'm doing, but I know what I'm doing. And that's what emunah is. If you want to have emunah, just believe Hashem has a master plan. One day we'll find out why, but but right now we can't all understand why these things happen. So, how do we hold on? I want to tell you how to hold on to emunah every day. And try to remember this. Rav Schwab brings this in the sefer Rav Schwab on prayer, which is another book you should get after you buy that book on Ani Ma'amin, you should get the book of Rav Schwab on prayer. It's fabulous. And there he writes from the Zohar, "Asvosa l'varnash, the remedy for a person in this world is man d'kara Krias Shema al tikunei." You want to have emunah? I'm going to teach you right now how to have emunah. And this is something I do every single day. Read the words Shema Yisrael in this manner. Shema Yisrael has six words, Shema Yisrael Hashem Elokeinu Hashem Echad. Baruch Shem has six words, Baruch Shem Kvod Malchuso l'Olam Va'ed. Why six? Because there are six arei miklat. Everybody, the talmidei chachamim here know that an arei miklat is a city of sanctuary. That's a place where chas v'shalom somebody killed somebody by mistake, he goes there to be saved. So, those six words are cities of sanctuary. Why? So, let me tell you how to say Shema from tonight on if you didn't say didn't daven Maariv yet. Or when you're going to say Krias Shema. We know that Hashem has many names and each name has different meanings. The word Hashem, yud kei vav kei, is tiferes chesed. Elokim or Elokeinu typifies mishpat u'din. So, you close your eyes and you say Shema Yisrael Hashem and you think of all the good things that Hashem did for you. He gave you a spouse, he gave you a child, he gave you a shidduch, he gave you a house, he gave you parnassah. There are a lot of things that we have that are good. So, when I say Shema, I stop. Shema Yisrael Hashem, I think of all the wonderful things I've had in my life. And then Elokeinu, and then I think of all the difficult things. The stroke that I had, which is awful, and absolute awful. And that's Elokeinu. That's a judgement. But then, Hashem Echad, at the end we're going to understand why all is good. Right now, it doesn't look good. It's awful. Believe me, having a stroke is That's awful. You know, I can't walk myself. I have to use a walker. I have to have people helping me in such embarrassing ways. It's awful. So, that's Elokeinu. But, a person has to have emunah. Hashem Echad, eventually I'll be able to find out a reason why it had to happen. And what I'm able to do to help teach people to be able to go through difficult times. So, that's That's how you say Shema. Shema Yisrael Hashem Elokeinu Hashem Echad. Now, I want to tell you a very painful story. But, this story happened in Brooklyn a couple years ago. There was a woman, Sarah Kriegsman. And she was dying. She was very, very sick. And it was before the summer. She had six kids. And she She discussed with her husband, should they tell the children how sick the mother is? They all know she was very pale and frail, and always in and out of hospitals. So, they decided they're going to tell the three older children, the married children, but they're not going to tell those kids who are going to camp. They didn't want to ruin their summer. So, what happened was So, the three younger kids went off to camp, and they had a lovely summer. You know, camp is wonderful, obviously. And then [snorts] when One of the boys came home at the end of the summer, he came and he came to see his mother. And he saw his mother was so pale and so frail. And suddenly, he realized, "Oh my gosh, she's going to die." And he said, "Ma, why you? Why you? Why is Hashem doing it to you?" And he started crying, and she started crying, and she held him close, and she wiped his face with a tissue, and she said, "Yingla, I want to tell you something. I understand why you're asking that question, but I just want to tell you, you know, when I got engaged, right before my friends got engaged, we all got out of high school the same time. And I was the first one to get engaged. I didn't say, 'Hashem, why me?' And when I had a baby right away, and my friends were still waiting to have children, I didn't say, 'Hashem, why me?' So, So, I only So, if I didn't ask when things were good, then I have no right to ask why me when things are bad. And unfortunately, eventually she passed away. But, the question is that that's what her husband, Sadya, and and this woman, Sarah Kriegsman, decided. That they wouldn't say anything to the kids. And I think that that's such an important thing in emunah. We have so much good. The fact that we're all healthy. I don't see anybody here with a wheelchair except me, right? So, everybody's walking. You can dance, and you can sing, and you can do all these things. And but the point is, do you ever ask, "Hashem, why me? Why am I healthy? Why do I have a good family? Why do I have parnossah?" We don't ask, "Why me?" when things are good. So, if you don't ask, "Why me?" when things are good, you have no right to ask, "Why me?" when things are bad. But, you have a right to ask, "Why?" You see, Iyov said What Iyov said, who could believe what he said? That Hashem, what you got mixed up between Iyov and Oyev. No, but the Torah says that we have to say We have to know, as we said before, emunah means knowing that we can't understand everything from Hashem. What What his ways I mean, Yitzchok Can he understand why he had to go through what he went through? But yet, had a book written by Rabbi Elias that gives us emunah in difficult times, to show us that we don't understand, and that one day All we have to know is that Hashem has a plan. And if you believe that Hashem has a plan, that is emunah. You don't have to understand what the plan is, but you have to know that we weren't around at the beginning of time when the story was written. And nobody believes throughout until until the end of time. So, because we don't live till the end of time, we can't know the whole story. And that's really what emunah is all about. And that's why when you say Shema Yisrael, this is again how you should say it. Shema Yisrael Hashem, I have so much good. Every one of us has so much good. If you would only think about it. And we never ask, "Why me? Why did I have such a good wife? Or Or why do I have such a good wife? Why do I have Why do I have such a good parnossah?" Do you ever ask, "Hashem, why me?" You take it for granted. You think it's deserved. But okay, but we know that we can't understand everything. And that's really what emunah is all about. So, let's just review quickly. That the first lesson in emunah is like da mala mala mikol. Those 45 pesukim is above us. There's no way that we can ever understand it until Mashiach comes. The second lesson is that which Rav Schwab told me. Emunah doesn't mean that everything is going to be good. Bad things happen in life. There are many people here that I know personally that have gone through gehenna in this world. Bad things happen. But, emunah just means that we understand that bad things happen. We don't know why they happen. And Hashem has a plan, and one day we'll be able to understand it. That's really what emunah is all about. Iyov was able to ask that question, and Hashem told him, "You were not around at the beginning of life, at the beginning when I created the world." So, there's a whole scenario. But, if you leave early, somebody dies early, so then how could you possibly know what what everything is? And again, every day, if you want to be mechazek yourself in emunah, try to do what I do. In Shema Yisrael, just think about Shema Yisrael Hashem. Hashem, it's good. There's so much good that each of us have. Even look at this shul. There's no cop standing outside, you know, like there are in different places. And we don't have police with guns, you know, marching around like they have in certain shuls in Europe, all over Europe. I know when I was able to travel in Belgium and in England and all these places, you know, because the Muslims are all over the place, and you have no idea what could happen. So, you know, it's frightening. When the kids go to school, you know, they have to have people, you know, that carry guns on the bus. You know, these things are difficult. But again, if we just have that emunah that Hashem has a master plan, and we say that Shema Yisrael, and we look at all the good that we have, and then we say, "Hashem, I don't know why I deserve it. But, I'm not asking, 'Why me?' You have a master plan. I'm grateful to you." And each one of us I'll tell you what I do at night, every single night. And it makes me feel so good. Every night when I'm in bed, and it's quiet, I think of 10 things during the day that happened to me that are wonderful. And when you think of those 10 things, and you say, "Thank you, Hashem, for this. Thank you, Hashem, for this." I'm telling you, you're going to sleep well. You'll be able to You'll be able to relax, because you think of all the wonderful things that happened today. Now, I just know that before I came here, I was in Passaic. There was an evening for the Torah Anytime speakers. They had 250 speakers that they made like a big dinner for them. But, I had to leave, of course, because I'm coming here. And I'll be on Torah Anytime tomorrow with this speech. They asked him, "Why you leaving?" I said, "Well, I'm working for you, because I've come tonight to speak about emunah. And on tomorrow morning, it'll be Torah Anytime Shmooze. You'll be able to see it tomorrow morning." Just want to show you that I know that you're here. There are a lot of people here that I know that are great people. I remember I used to buy tiles from you, right? Now, I remember that. So, there are a lot of wonderful people who've had good lives. And there's so much to be grateful for. And if you go to sleep at night, and before you go to sleep, just count 10 things good things that happened to you. I'm telling you, that's what emunah is all about. You thank Hashem for the good, and don't complain about the bad. Just know that there's a plan, and hopefully one day we'll be able to understand it. I was told that I have to speak only a half hour. I think it's about that time. So, everybody should have a great night. And everybody should be able to get home safe. And think of all the good that you have in life. And just remember that the fact that we have such a community like Hillcrest. And we have so many wonderful people here with so many different areas. Just think of all the good things that you have. There are many people that are still happily married. Think about that. And if you are happily married, you know, you know, say something to your spouse at night. You know, not just good night, and you know, just pack away. But, uh You know, make that person feel special. And if you have good kids, make sure you tell the kids that you love them. And tell them that you're a millionaire. You know how many times I remember one of my daughters, she had a big problem with shidduchim, for whatever reason. Of all my daughters, she had the biggest problem. And you know, you You never blame yourself. You know, you blame the kids. You know, it's their fault why they're not getting the shidduchim. You know, you and your wife are perfect. So, I remember one time I said to her, "Faygie, you know I love you, right?" She said, "Of course I know you love me." Said, "How do you know?" She said, "You know how many times you told me you're a millionaire because I'm your daughter." Go home tonight and tell your kids that you're a millionaire because they're your children. After they faint and wake up, you'll tell them, "Yes, really true. I really mean that." And the truth is that if you have good kids, and I know many of you here have wonderful children, don't forget to tell them that you love them, and that you're grateful that Hashem gave you such wonderful children, and a wonderful parnossah, and a wonderful kehillah like we have here in Queens. There's no community like Queens in the world. Of course, everybody knows that I think Kew Gardens is the greatest place in the world. Right, Mr. Brooks Lee? Right. I just wanted to show you I know you dabble in every morning. By yours. Again, I want to thank you all for inviting me.