Living Ideally in Unideal Realities | Rabbi Dahan, Rabbi Meirov, Rabbi Elbaz | CHAZAQ

[Music] I want to talk a little bit more on the M end of of how does a person live ideally in unideal circumstances so the first thing really is what are types of unideal circumstances there a lot of them a person could have a circumstance like an ideal parasa his job isn't exactly what he wants it to be his wife might not be holding religiously where she is supposed to be holding or his children are not doing so well his health might not be so well so many problems that a person could have even simple things like oh his vacation didn't go exactly as planned that's always a very typical thing that could happen and what does a person do how does a person how do you deal with such a reality and how what's the mindset a mentality that a p person is supposed to have when he's under such uh conditions and how is he supposed to function so to sort of give uh somewhat of an idea I'll say a story there was a story with a man in who was running for a very high position he was running for a sort of some office of governance and he said politics could get especially in the nonreligious areas it could get very vicious to say the least and uh a dirty play is not an uncommon thing in any politics not just in is obviously all over the world so one time as he was running this person that was running against him him he decided that at all cost he has to win so what does he do he finds out what the number of the first person is guy he finds his phone number and he posts it but he doesn't just post it all over you know Social Media newspapers he posts it in a very vicious way he says anybody that's looking for mattresses half off you know instead of $1,000 mattresses $500 mattresses M discounted discount call this number advertised it on all the newspapers and he realized what's going to happen he's going to get flooded with phone calls he's not going to be able to live his life normally he's going to be so uh taken away from from his daily routine it's going to get into his head his mentality is going to be off and I'm going to win sure enough the person gets one phone call he says yes and mattresses you have mattresses I'm looking for big mattresses I'm looking for small mattresses uh I'm not selling mattresses a second phone call he gets five phone calls he's going crazy he doesn't know what to do says should I change my number what what should I do in this circumstance sure enough he lost the race because it did affect him but after 20 30 phone calls he said this is so ridiculous I'm getting so many calls he started taking a pen and a paper and he say okay what kind of mattress do you want medium all right how many do you need three got you and he started writing down writing down he came up with a list at the very end after like a month of a thousand mattresses that was uh, 2,000 a huge huge number of mattresses it was crazy and uh he went to one of the main manufacturers of mattresses called him up he says I'm buying a lot give me a good deal gave him a good deal he sold it at Cost price to all of those people because that's how it was advertised he didn't make a dollar but he built a great name for himself from there everybody trusted him as the number one mattress guy and he was able to really make an entire business out of it he did really well for himself and became the the number one chain for mattresses all over a lot of people actually tried to do what he did they said hey if it worked for him I'm going to do the same business model I'm going to advertise it didn't work the same it wasn't the same thing and the lesson to learn from that is a lot of times you have to what it's called in English roll with the punches you get punched you can in in essence if it's a person punching you can fight back but when it's sending you something and you acknowledge is coming from a there has to be this moment of okay I get it something's going on over here and I'm going to see what wants me to do to confront it and a lot of times it's because we get phased we we get moved and it takes us out of our game and out of our element and that's why we end up reacting in ways that are not necessarily the correct way without judging things properly so that's part of the part of the work that we have to do is we have to become what I would call a power plant we have you have to harness the energy and convert it into positive energy to take all of that uh anxiety frustration and build it to be motivation to do good and to use it as a rocket to propel us much much higher than otherwise you would have been propelled in AR I one time said I have great news for everyone I told everybody guys great news there's a midash says that there isn't a person in this world that doesn't have suffering and everybody looked at me kind of like the blank faces here what are you talking about what's great about that that's terrible news right everybody suffers that how do you call that great news it's great news because if you understand the rules of the game then you approach the whole entire world completely differently if you realize that is that's the rules you go you play Monopoly you follow the rules of Monopoly you play they're rules the question is what is it going to be when a a man comes into that perspective it changes the whole dynamic of how he sees the world says this idea he praised that that his son was what rebelling against him I mean if you think about it that's not a good thing uh sometimes our s our children are disciplined at school sometimes they're not doing so well we get upset uh it's a little bit worse when a Shalom is taking over the entire kingship threatening your life raising an Army against you and taking the entire nation with him so it's a little bit of a damaging thing that even says earlier that it's worse than to have a son rise up against his father in such a way is worse than in objective sense so how isav able to muster up the strength to say m very simple because he knew that there was going to be something already told them that there's there's going to be an evil so it could have been a it could have been some uh you know no goodnick it was my own son at least he'll have mercy on me at least it won't be something else and that mentality of oh okay this is what I have to deal with is much better than what I would have had to otherwise deal with and that puts things in perspective and it gives us the ability to take the matter and use it as a powerful motivation this we know that in the times of Noah Noah cursed and he cursed the son of mainly Kanan that he would be he would be a slave to his brothers and one of the children the grandchildren of of Canan was elzid abam elzar was anid he's called in the mid what does anid mean it means that he was very wise he said to himself as follows listen I'm cursed that means I'm going to be a slave so I'm going to confront that reality and accept the reality once I accept that reality okay I'm going to be a slave I'm not fighting that let me at least choose who I'm going to be a slave to do I want to fight the slavery and then it will happen against my will and I will become a slave to barbarians or perhaps I should just sell myself today to be a Slave of and that's what he did and he was anid mus he took himself from a slavery he acknowledged it he confronted it and he says okay how do I turn this into a positive he said you know what I'll be a slave of Abu and then when a person is a slave to he himself Rose himself out of the concept of slavery so a lot of times when we accept things I know as a father if uh if I have to punish my son or my daughter so I punish them and I'm waiting to see at the point where they accept the punishment where they came to terms okay I did something wrong and I acknowledge that I deserve to be punished and I'm not fighting it I'm not crying I'm not screaming about it I accept I deserve the punishment okay kicks in now you're good you've understood to accept it now we can move on now we can uh we can use a different type of approach uh to confront the issue so that's what a lot of times weighs for us and we could convert something that's negative into positive in the business world this works as well there are people that are experts in manipulating debt they take something that's objectively bad debt is not a good thing and they're able to manipulate it in ways that they actually build themselves up and they bring themselves to a completely different place and make a lot of money out of the concept of debt I actually have no idea how they do that I wish I knew but uh that's that's something that's a reality and that's something that um we have to do in the spiritual front there's a great story galinsky says a story he says at one time a person was visiting the harbors of France and he was seeing the ships dock and being loaded and it was amazing things he saw like these designer sofas being loaded onto major major ships and uh he saw and one place they were shipping produce another one they were shipping wine another one cheese every single uh ship had a complete like entire containers full of merchandise and then all of a sudden he looks to the right and he notices that one of the ships is not loading anything of significance it's loading Boulders rocks can't understand it's not even like it's not even Diamond rocks or or obsidians or something significant big boulders and he looks and he sees the person that's in charge over there he says excuse me can I ask you a question I see everybody else is loading things of value and you're not loading anything of value you're loading rocks why would you load rocks you could get that from anywhere it could be any place you want you could you could take Rocky why do you have to take it and you're importing it to other countries exporting it to other country so he said to him listen a ship is something that sails in the sea uh it needs to be weighted if a person is not weighing the if the ship isn't weighted if it doesn't go down in the water it will sink because it will not be able to to stay at the right level where the motor could work and that it can drive itself and function so so if there isn't enough weight it's going to rise too much out of the water and it won't be able to travel so if there is merchandise then you put on merchandise I happen to have unloaded a lot of merchandise and I don't have any merchandise to take so I have to load it up with something and that is actually a powerful lesson of life because in life it's the same thing a person is going to be carrying a burden choose what kind of a burden a burden of rocks or a burden of merchandise and when a person comes with that mentality and changes the whole dynamic and the whole approach and he's able to convert tragedy he's able to convert difficulty he's able to convert uh situations of competition and stress and use that as powerful motivation to drive him and to propel him into much much greater areas da many times works that the ultimate Yeshua a person is saved an individual is saved a nation is saved saved when there is a tremendous Calamity that befalls like in the times of if it wasn't if you go through the actual story of the me and you see if it wasn't for ham our enemies wouldn't have been destroyed in the same fashion and it happens time and time again Hamman was the one that brought out the anti-Semitism in full view Hamman was the one that was able to convince that he should have the sole power ham did all of the necessary stri steps in order to make it that the ultimate Yeshua would be in the highest and most complete fashion if he wasn't there the anti-semites wouldn't have ended up dead Amal wouldn't have ended up being wiped out so sometimes it's actually the difficulty the the the thing that appears to be evil that from there is the propulsion of the Yeshua of the good and of the to on one time in is a time where everybody is is uh you know wants things to be very good and and and you want to come in with a very spiritual attitude you want to come in with this sort of mentality of I'm ready for this holy day and sometimes things don't go exactly as planned there's a great story mfi says about that he says this story in the name of his father mfi that he was big and one time it was is especially in the time of is is even more carries even more weight and what happened was that came home from BET and he came with with as he would always dress on yum and on Shabbat with white beautiful white robes that he would be wearing with a white turban everything white and he comes to uh in Iraq what they would do is they would especially during that time of the year is very very hot well most of the year it's hot and they wouldn't eat in the homes cuz it was it was no air conditioning of course you eat on the rooftops so went up to the rooftop where everything was set up the table was set up very nicely the candles were lit and he sits down to read say this before the as he's sitting down he's going to fix his hat and he straightens out his hat and he accidentally hits into the bowl where all of the they used to put the candles into a bowl with oil and he hit the entire Bowl the whole oil with all the C spill all over the place all over his clothing and his wife looks at him with eyes like oh my gosh this is like the worst thing that could happen not because just okay you got your clothes dirty but on everything on is about the San like what kind of a San what kind of a year are we going to have and he looked at his clothing they were all dirty he had to go back downstairs change all of his clothing into new pair of clothing he comes back upstairs about to do the k douche he's holding the cup somehow it slips out of his hand spills all over the table wine spilling everywhere now you can imagine the day that you've planned perfectly and waited for already 30 days preparation and everything else that he went and did and now everything is like basically unwinding before his eyes the cup fell uh his wife wanted to go bring the food it says that she came with a tray of the of the chicken as she was walking up the stairs to the attic she tripped on something the whole platter fell on the floor the main dish just fell all over the floor and if that wasn't enough and what doing he's calming his wife down don't don't worry about it it's not not a problem it's okay it's okay he didn't get upset he didn't get angry uh this big cat comes along and starts P pouncing on the chicken now he's wrestling the chicken from the cat and fighting and Sh it away gives it a g it runs out and he's picking up the food from the floor and fixing to see what's edible what's not edible what you can have what's dirty put it all on the plate he said don't don't worry don't worry calms his wife down she's already at this point she's balling she's crying already and he says to her it's not a problem he looks up and he says Satan Satan I know you're trying to get me to be angry it's not going to work I'm sorry I'm not going to be angry and as a matter of fact I'm going to be even more happy and he started singing songs of and because he was on the rooftop and everybody around him was also on rooftops they heard the songs coming from his home and everybody in that whole vicinity started singing along with him says my told me my re said I never had a more successful year spiritually and physically like that year why he was able to convert difficulty into something that was motivational into something powerful into something inspirational in a way that even good times is not able to do I'll finish with one final Point um on Shabbat we spoke about I think this is a great story The tells us a famous story of that has a powerful lesson of how a person can convert small things into massive things what happens with is a student and famously teaches a student Tora every M it would take him 400 times until he learned forget he's not able to do he was right he would learn one line a day and he would repeat it and repeat it 400 times and there was one day where the student got distracted someone walked in the student lost his concentration the taught him the 400 he knew the 400 was up he said okay you got it he says no I don't remember anything he started again another 400 times this time pay attention Okay good he learned it 800 times that day comes down from says you did something so incredible we're going to give you a choice 400 years or you and your entire generation will be to be which one are you going to choose he says I I don't care for myself I care for the entire generation I want them to all have says give him this and this he ends up both with 400 years and with so I want to focus for one minute on the student I mean we all know the story of and that angle of it but look at it from the perspective of a student here is the student that every single day is he's the one that the the have to call in the parents every single day and say listen your kid he needs therapy your kid he needs this your kid he needs that like giving him a whole list of laundry list of things that are wrong with him and this kid knows like I'm not doing good so in essence what would you have done what anybody else have done in such a situation you're not getting anything it takes them 400 times to learn you give up you say that's not for me I'm not cut out for this I'm going to go work but no he's stuck to it he said no I'm going to sit down I'm going to learn oh it's only one line okay it's one line but I'll do my one line and that's my job and sure enough what ends up happening because of his one line because of this student who wasn't willing to give up he became a partner that when every single person of that generation goes up to shamayim and and they say you have a free ticket to and he says why what did I deserve well there was and his student the one line that he went and didn't give up on made him made him a partner in the fact that the rest of the generation was it's not insignificant the ability to deal with struggle and to cope with it and to take it in stride and to grow from it translate explodes essentially into spirituality when it's converted into that currency and that's what our job is in our lives if it's our wives that didn't exactly respect us if it's the boss that didn't give us the raise if it's the children who are not exactly 100% healthy in all of those circumstances what we have to remember what we have to do is convert it take it Channel it make it spiritual don't be surprised there's going to be issues there's going to be but take that and invest it and convert it and manipulate it to be a spiritual Force for good and be able to beone okay just to um pigb off of first of all thank you very much to R uh for getting us together again another legal holiday danan and um ran in CL fashion just chooses um abstract topics and we have to kind of run with it didn't want to choose a topic so I chose um so that's that's usually the the the modus operandi which is okay um so there's there's a few things we can talk about in terms of living um ideally in an unideal world if you look even from the V soan actually took it from a more of a hashkafic perspective I want to just look at the the of it just cut and dry if you open up do you know what percentage you now these terms are thrown around a lot just literally means preferably the way a person should act then there's something that's called most people misuse the term as not the best that's incorrect doesn't mean not the best in aric means after the fact post factor facto after it was done which means if something happened and you can no longer do the preferable now this is the do you know proportionally what percentage of the deals what deals with of 60% more almost 80% of the speaks about situations can you imagine that which means the way is set up is great it's wonderful to act in the most preferable manner but and by extension the and the they understood that the world is a very imperfect place and because of that happen now again it's true that in the realm of the sometimes even before the situation happens there are circumstances that Warren acting in aad manner but means after the fact so now it's not perfect anymore I can't I I can't act in the most preferable manner so what do I do next and man says look open up you have tons of laws that apply just to those situations it's a very very interest and that all comes from and the which means that even they understood that the world is a place it's not utopic you know if we lived in a Utopia the you know everything would shrink sh would shrink the would shrink the would shrink everything would be okay you live in Utopia in a perfect world a b c you know this is what you do and over but it's not look at all of the volumes look at the endless endlessness of the Tora that's because we live in an imperfect world now what sometimes happens is like I said there are situations where a person for whatever reason cannot Act in line with can't for you know there are many many different circumstances could be Health it could be there's many different things and depends on the there's four different sections of there's all sorts of different laws and not always can a person do the best you know we try we try very much we you know it's a tremendous we try to be as much as we can we try to invest as much time and effort and money and enthusiasm into beautifying and doing the the best way possible and we send their children to the best schools possible to the best possible in order for them to get the best possible so that even when we're not here anymore they'll be able to navigate this crazy world without us that's you know that that's what a person's whole thing is that's that's what we live for we live in order to bestow to Beque that Legacy unto our children and unto our however there are situations where a person can't that's why either the person is uh you know intelligent enough to be able to look at Pim and pin for himself sometimes many times not you call and you say you know this is my situation X Y and Z what does dictate for me in this given situation and sometimes you know obviously with with you know a person has to use judgment and discretion but will sometimes give a based on your circumstances this is mut and sometimes not depends on the on the situation now that's okay but what sometimes ends up happening is and this is a this is a syndrome that's not only in in our community but it happens in in many different communities is that people you know let's this way are contagious they love osmosis which means if there's a given then there's a hotline set up 1800 D what happens is now that that's the way it works and you have certain Rim that are on that hotline and then you know the way it works is networking just like networking Works in business it works like that in too you got to head for this oh you know who gave me a for that this one now again I'm not talking about for people that are looking for in all sorts of areas has very harsh words about that says prior to the the Heavenly voice coming out from heaven and saying that is always like wasn't always like you know before was was established like in the you know followed says anyone really the says you could follow B or but says there's one catch what you got to pick and stick you can't just cherry pick and the says if if you look for the of each one you go k shopping the says it's called if you look for the of each one the says says why brings a what are you looking for too many bugs you down you got know rather the says prior to the pick one you stick with that's fine but go all the way you stick with you got to go all the way says that was later nullified you can't pick anymore like the says you can't follow writes in a few places he writes in a few places that in is going to follow why because technically the says were sharper were more aidite than however the says two reasons why was why in did they decide should follow first of all all because they were more numerous they were the and number two they were very very they were humble and not only that what was the symbol of their humility anytime there was M anytime they needed to say the differences of opinion between them and they would always discuss the opinion of first and then they would come to their own opinion but anyway you see people in general even for a society that Prides itself on looking for to serve a in the best way possible sometimes and it's it's uh I don't it's it's really something that raim have to contend with you have to be very very careful I'm speaking from personal experience and I'm sure the you know my colleagues would agree with me we see this on a day well not even daily on multiple times a day basis that people hear about K oh wow and this one you and and it's like you know everybody comes and tries to take advantage of that that's not in who doesn't want a Jew to live that way even if K exist we're not supposed to be looking for those K are Last Resort looking for ways around looking to live in zone that's a last resort we have to be looking to we have to strive for Perfection not always is perfection achievable attainable we have to at least strive for that to stri just like anything else that we do what's the different person looks to buy the best all we try to buy the best we can and then when it comes to keeping simple sometimes things go by the wayside you know it's it's unfortunate that people look you it's for instance I'll give you I'll give you an example he was known to when he was asked are you a or he says I don't understand the qu do you rule leniently or do you rule stringently he says none of the above he says I rule whatever dictates in that given situation that's how I rule in general by the way says most of his rulings were on the more lenient side because he happened to have been writes that were imbued we have if you look there's only six cases in the entire you can look in only six cases in the entire that is more than they're all brought down and anyway in general is more always yeah that's usually in says in general they got from that's why if you look in general by the first and foremost in general in general more on the other hand says in general why that's what the now said about himself's father he was so he says but his mother's mother was he says the oh you serious anyway kid he he had a fusion he had a fusion of Botham and Inside the Fire of bami and the ability to be like anyway but that's that's the way we go it's interesting watch this the there's a which was written by he was the chief disciple of the of Prague this tremendous go he took over the rabet of Prague after his Reb the passed away this is quoted brings it he brings down over there that's the there's been a lot of good noise uh in the past I would say decade or two about you know bet making a come back in the market so much noise that today is cliche when you say it's like shabb shom everything's B right you can't find any nonb the cheese is b a b you know everything's B yeah you walk in yeah you see a yogurt on the thing okay anyway they pick up they know it sells anyway that's a different she but the famously the with without getting too much into into these sometimes people and that's a joke because in terms of in terms of the actual slaughtering there's no between andama in the method of Slaughter has nothing to do with it there's a disagreement between them about the permissibility of a certain adhesion on the lung as it's being checked so I guess the way it came out is because nobody wanted to say that you know that doesn't have as much of a ring to it so they called it but anyway it's a big and famously about this specific adhesion and under certain circumstances writes says in general if you look at the about 90% of the time is and is any time not always but in general if you see the disagreeing he'll usually be over he says was purported to have said the same thing would have been would have accepted all the leniencies of the in the rest of the and accepted his one not one but you know this one specific stringency of as opposed to being everywhere else and being being on that was these were words uttered by the and that's what they said about anyway the same thing applies to in general he's he's he's and then there are certain situations where he's about certain things and not only that when was very vocal about it you know in his in he made sure whether it's or you know he had his top five top 10 that he always kept pounding about and huh and then people say no but we can't handle that everything else is fine plab and you know timers and everything else is great when it comes to the few things that he really lays down the law on so no no he can't handle that that's not a show of doesn't Cher is a person who looks to do what's correct not saying you have to be all the time but look you know pick and stick look to do what's correct don't you know di we're trying to abolish that hotline because it's not it's not it's not fun and people really they don't understand that you can really mess yourself and your family up big time spiritually by living in such what is that what kind of uh what kind of message does that send to a person's children yeah we're going to look for the easiest way out that's not that's not fear of Heaven fear of Heaven is looking to do what's right if it's k at the time okay if it's not everything is always optimal this world is not a Utopia that's true but we try we have to strive to make it as utopic as possible to live to the highest standards as possible whenever possible if it's not okay we can visit that but at least to have those MIM to have an idea to shoot to strive high so that even if you miss you know shoot for the moon even if you miss you'll fall to the Stars A wise man once said and uh that's what I have to say for today thank you for listening that are very very inspiring very of course thank you to my brother thank you rabie for organizing R climing always behind the the camera over here to you as well thank you very much with you just a couple of minutes um about this topic a little bit I'm going to view off from what the other said but hopefully something could be anyone here has ever been to a circus before not your house I like a real circus you been there we live in Queens you live in Queens you know I I think it's fascinating it's a it's a p how they take different animals you can take uh dogs and they have sea lions and and dolphins and and whatnot and they're doing all these tricks all these different performances I want to focus for a minute about the Bears you know the Bears usually come in with a nice vest very shiny very sparkling with a with a bow tie for the boys a mini skirt for the girls right for the female bears and they come in on all fours suddenly you pay attention when the music goes on the bear starts jumping up and it's standing only on the highlights and starts dancing and when the Music Stops they go back on all fours and the question is how do they train them how do they do this what they understand music if I go to the zoo right now and I play some music some yob Shi music will the bear start dancing for me so what's the the the trick behind getting the Bears to do this at these carnivals so believe it or not for all my animal rights uh individuals here a lot of Cruelty goes behind training animals when you read it it's actually very shocking with the Bears what do they do they take them to a a a metal PL platform that's where they train them under the metal platform is what they have a heating element now every time they raise the heat the fire they put on the music and know the Bears it starts to get hot they want to protect themselves so they start jumping up and they're only standing on two of their legs and they're hopping from right to left and right to left and when they lower the Flames they turn down the music and they do this over and over again where they're conditioned to believe that when they hear music it means they're in danger they're about to burn and when the music is off they're back to normal so lo and behold comes along the circus we're all seeting their front row seats right and you see the Bears coming in dressed so nicely and you think they're dancing with s and we interpret a smile in their face somebody somehow but in reality it's pure torture and manipulation of their minds but for us observers everyone looks happy look at these animals all them look seem to be over here you know we're living in a generation in a very unideal reality yeah unideal reality it's there you can read it where where the social media is really controlling Our Lives Instagram Facebook amongst the from Community the religious community definitely the secular community and you see so many people look so happy look how they're dressed they're smiling to the camera and they're there every day by this party and this event in this place and that place and we're thinking wow can have they have and we don't realize many of these people are just like those beers they have such emptiness such fear such such something is missing in their life but when in the public eye it looks like they're dancing and having a good time and the saddest part is that we see it we see how it's destroying the of our kids we see how it's destroying relationships we see how it's destroying our our our spirituality and for some reason we're all falling for this and it's part of our lives and we allow it to take place and very very few people do something about it until tell they really hit rock bottom so I want to discuss the for a few minutes just to dangers of this matter and what we could do to live ideally in a world that's maybe not so ideal you know first of all I want to give you an example that Miller hints to in his uh in his was handed out here in jees which is beautiful I encourage everyone to to read it every week you know if you come over to me say Rabbi I need you to help out my wife we're having a struggle at home our kids are giving us a hard time in the morning in afternoon I can't I got to go to SCH I got to go to sh could you get me some help in the house in the morning when I'm in sh and then when I'm at work I what complains the kids come home from school they're driving her nuts give me some help don't worry I'll take care of you and I send you for your girls a woman that has no very immodest lives very very arm screwed I said she'll be taking care of your girls and I give you a drug addict to take care of your boys I said they're going to be there every morning from 7 to 800 to take care of your kids and afternoon from 4: to 6:00 how many of you guys would sign on to this no one right we don't realize that many of us do this every single day you may not bring in these physical beings into your house but unfortunately what do we do the kids are driving you crazy here take the phone watch this why are they watching who's who's the presenters of these shows who's the one performing over there the people have are they teaching them good qualities are they teaching them things that you want your kids to become so we we're bringing in babysitters that are literally destroying our children but I think we're getting one or two or three hours of peace of mind it's no different maybe that's even worse me bringing in someone from the street to take care of your kids you know one of the the common claims that you hear from parents today is you don't understand today the kids are very spoiled our kids are very spoiled in our generation this will never happen you agree to this or not are the kids really spoiled Ali what do you say yeah right what do you say spoiled what did you say kids and the parents kids and the parents I'll take it a little different the kids are not spoiled the parents are spoiled your child is born knowing nothing okay he comes in with zero knowledge already from the age of one years old the kids already know how to scroll on the phone you know they go when when the when the messages come through they know how to flip it up they know how to go to the next video by the age of 2 three they already know how to use their passwords right they put the phone by their mother's face what what happens is we're coming along and saying that our kids are spoiled we are spoiling them we're spoiled we don't want to have to deal with them we don't want to sit and read a book with them we don't want to play basketball with them we don't want to you know do homework with them so we send them straight to the phone to the iPad so today that our kids are spoiled is just not accurate but Rabbi all the kids in the community have it yeah but if you send your kid to a better Yesa that have rules and guidelines you know what you're putting them in the right environment so it's not easy I agree today with the men and women working and everyone's overwhelmed and the stress of paying off a mortgage and tuition everything else I know it's that easy but said this is our don't look for easy ways out this is the of your children the most important commodity you have in this world that's worth trillions of dollars and for us just to give it away like that is very very detrimental like viu says you know the brain weighs depending on your age once you become an adult about 3 PB kids about 2 PB whatever maybe some people are wonder if you even have one pound in there would you allow your child to walk with three pounds of diamonds in the streets it's a see-through bag you're telling them deliver it from location a to location sea would you let him walk in the SE like this could be rather than a minute to let his a bag of diamonds are you serious say Miller how could you let your your bag of brains that your children have you have four five six children let them just walk around in the streets or let them have access to things back then they had no internet today you have it in your pocket in your bedrooms how could you let your kids just wander around like that they're going to be they're going to be stolen they're going to be kidnapped spiritually speaking these are very serious things that are taking place yum Y in every single house in every single community and we have to take uh a full control of the situation now with that being said I'm not telling you to be extremists and just suddenly just uh go from I'll share with you one quick point fromom and then one one little idea from the actually start the first we know there a famous there was a how to accept students in what was his opinion that what should be inside outside you have to be perfect knowledge of everything has to be perfect otherwise sorry not this and others felt what no list let him come in and eventually he'll get the hang of it he'll become part of the become so what's the right approach it say which means you should have many students implying the who's right the approach of making a barrier to students just letting everyone come in let everyone come in the no it says that it's true advocating to have many students but what's the next statement you got to make offence around the T if you're going to have an institution that's going to have rules okay you want to be accepted boys boys and girls here's the rules a b c d if you guys follow the rules then you know come on in if you don't want to follow the rules I'm sorry you cannot join so as follows he says when it comes to technology he believes that had this existed in the times of DAV in the times of K says I have no doubt there will be to be with with a computer with a phone with the internet maybe but today the have no power to make we can't make he said I give a very very strong suggestion everyone that has computers today theas make the kids use computers they have to research make sure that every single computer screen is facing an opening of the house so if this is a living room the computer should not be facing here where people walk by no one can see what's going on the computer should always be facing by the opening you're creating an extra protection that no one should do something wrong shouldn't be a situation where your children have access to computers in their bedrooms then you're wondering why is he sitting in the room for four hours was a tour any time but I don't think that's what he's doing as as a 15-year old boy right you want to make sure that you create the right environment but how do you create this environment you can't just impose this on your children you as parents have to do the same thing as well if you have an environment where this is the way our house runs we're going to give you guys access everything limited then next thing you know you're you're going to take the of the world you're going to be filter it properly and B you're going to protect your family from all the junk that's how we have m in front of our house in all our rooms why we're not letting the street come into our house right it's enough we have so many challenges in the streets but once you enter do these doors there a different rules it's a different playing field and this think something we all have to work on to realize that it's a very very difficult generation very difficult challenges that we have in order for you to beat these challenges you must work as a team as a family husband wife with the with the rabbits and get get consultation with them how to do this how to deal with this situation and hopefully we raise children and raise families and