Count Your Blessings Before You Complain | Rabbi Yosef Palacci | Tisha B'Av

Thank you uh Beit Gavriel for hosting, and as well um Kazak for streaming live Torah anytime channel. They just told me they have a We all know the daily dose book is out, and everybody heard about it. It's very very popular. Especially it's unique in its own way that everyone Hey, look at this. Look at that. All right, look how nice that is. You have all the Just just to see the rabbis on the front cover is a zchut. Just to have in your house just to see the holy rabbis. Thank you, Reb Shimon. And Abba Thai, take advantage on your way out when you leave. Um see whoever whoever needs to be seen, they have it right there. Um Is this clear? I'm probably pull this off or something. Okay, I like to hold the mic. Abba Thai >> So, my friend, we'll do it with the next speaker. >> All right. What's the only one thing that you could complain about in life? Imagine you come here, Rabbi tells you, "What's the one thing that you could complain about in life?" What would you say? I know what you're going to answer me, by the way. I know what you're going to answer me. Ready? What does it say in Eicha that you are a lot to complain about? Anybody want to take a guess? What do you think? I knew you were going to say that. I knew. Anybody else? Okay. Also, I knew that answer, too. Everybody is saying the same answer today, but I would like to present to you the answer of what Eicha says. What's one thing you complain about in life? Tell me. What do you What do you want to complain about? Tell me, what do you want to complain about? So, a person says, "Oh, listen, Rabbi, you're speaking about Tisha B'Av." Well, obviously the answer's going to be there's no Beit Hamikdash. There's no Mashiach. That's the obvious answer. However, if you look at Eicha, it does not say that. There's a pasuk that says what you're allowed to complain about. Ma yitonen adam? What can a person complain about? High given a hata'av. You're allowed to complain about your sins. YOU EVER COMPLAIN? AH! WHAT I DO THAT AND GO GO COMPLAINING LIKE that you're allowed to complain about. Why? Because it's because of that destruction happens. What do you think? We're sitting here on the floor for what? What do you think? Our sins. That's all. That's what we're doing. And therefore, if you could complain about your sins and say, "I why why I I I I I I I I." And change that, you won't be sitting on the floor today. You understand? Now, what sin? What sin? And I know what you're thinking, and it's not that. I know what you're thinking, and I know I'm telling you right now. Telling you exactly what sin caused it. You ready? I'm telling you right now. Let's go. If you look in Eicha, how many pesukim are there in the first perek? Do I need a a mic on clip or no? We're good. How many pesukim is there in the first perek of Eicha? Anybody want to give a guess? I'll tell you. 20 two. Why 22? How many letters are there in the aleph-bet? How many letters are there in the aleph-bet? 22. K'negel the aleph-bet gimmel dalet hey yet. That is the first perek of Eicha. 22 letters k'negel the aleph-bet. And it goes in order. It goes You look it up. You see Olive Bet from the beginning. The first person starts Olive and it goes all the way and it goes all the way in order. Second perek of Eicha. How many pesukim are there? Not How many? 22. That was a good gu- guess. Nice. This is good. 22. 22 pesukim in the second perek of Eicha. K'neged, again, it goes in the order of the Olive Bet. Olive Bet, Gimel, Dalet, Hey. The same thing as the first perek. However, if you look very clearly in the second perek of Eicha, there's two letters that are mismatched, that are opposite. Which two letters? How did he know that? That was a good guess. That was That one he didn't guess. That one he had. All right. Did somebody say before me or no? I don't know. But that was pretty good. You got it very quick. How does it go? How do you say the Olive Bet? Sameach, Ayin, Pe. That's the way it is in the first perek. The letters of the Olive Bet. Sameach, Ayin, Pe. However, when you get to the second perek, it doesn't say Sameach, Ayin, Pe. It says Sameach, Pe, Ayin. The question is why. Why didn't go in order? Why didn't it say Sameach, Ayin, Pe? Why did it say Sameach, Pe, Ayin? Good question. It's a good question. It's not my question. It's not my shots question. So, it's got to be good. You know, it's a good question. Answer. Isaac, you ready for the answer? Like this. Let's go from the beginning, beginning, beginning, beginning, beginning. Why do we have this day of Tisha B'Av? Why? And the Gamara tells us in Maseches Taanis it tells over there on daf kaf tet amud alef it says Atem bechitem bechiya shel chinam. You cried for nothing. You complained for nothing. I'm going to give you a day that you're going to cry and cry for generations. Which is that day? The day of Tisha B'Av. This is the day that you're going to sit and you're going to cry. We're going to cry for generations. WHY? CUZ YOU COMPLAINED FOR NOTHING. I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT. Rebbonisai enough complaining, nagging, enough. You know, I'll tell you something. I want to tell you something of a story. I was at a wedding once. I gave my valet ticket to the valet. I said, "Listen, could you get my car?" Yeah, sure, no problem. I'm sitting there. Behind me there's a guy and the whole thing complaining. Oh, I have the flood. I can't believe in my flood. I can't believe he's screaming at them, "Get there now. Let's go. I I can't believe in what happened. I I I called his wife, you don't understand what happened. I have a flood in there." The whole thing literally for like a minute and a half complaining, complaining, complaining, complaining. And then all of a sudden he finishes. He gets off the phone. I'm still waiting for the valet. I look behind me. I see where of guy is. I say, "Hey, how are you?" Whatever. He says, "Oh, I'm so sorry, Rabbi." I say, "No, no, no, it's all about You know, you I know you heard me complaining for like 2 minutes, but I have a building in the city, and there was a flood, and it I'm like, habibi, in my mind I'm thinking, you own a building in the city. You know how much rent comes in from a building in the city? Tell me, how much a month? What do you think? Huh? A nice amount, more than that, maybe 10 times what you said. Okay? Trust me, 1 month, you know, it'll cover your tuition bill for a whole year, you know? Right? And now you hear a person nagging and complaining that he has a flood. How many people wish in this room they'll have they own a huge uh skyscraper in the city, and they call you by the way, oh, you have a flood in your building. How many you wish? It's great, right? Why not? Huh? You hear what's going on? And so, what's the answer? Therefore, a person has to think in life Think about it like this. A guy lives in a beautiful house. He has a mansion, gorgeous, everything is gorgeous, unbelievable, wow. You see the woodwork, you see the tiles, you see you see everything, you see a gorgeous, breathtaking, unbelievable. What happens? It's in the summer, 1 week in the summer, hottest day of the summer, 1 weekend, it's a Sunday, whatever it is, all of a sudden, his AC is broken, and he doesn't feel the air condition so well. WHAT'S THE FIRST THING? AH, COME ON, WHAT'S THE AIR CONDITION? THIS, THAT, THAT. WHAT HAPPENED? YOU'RE FORGETTING WHAT YOU HAVE. You have a house. God gave you a house. Look at the GOOD THAT YOU HAVE. LOOK AT IT. WOW. Think about it FOR A SECOND. A GUY comes over, says, "What happened?" Like over here, what happened? Comes home from a hot day of work, the whole day he's working so hard, traveling here, traveling there, and he's starving. All he wants to do is come home and have an awesome meal. A Amazing amazing meal. Gets home. Comes to his wife. He's waiting for the dinner. No dinner. What's the first thing? Honey, are you kidding me? What happened? Hello? You know what I'm doing all day? For you, to support you, and you can't COME GIVE A YOU'RE NOT READY? I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU. What about all the other nights where you came home and dinner was ready? You know what you're supposed to think when your dinner is not ready that one time? What an amazing wife I have. Every single day up until now the dinner was ready except tonight the dinner wasn't ready. What an amazing wife. Instead of complaining about that. How did I learn this? I'll tell you how I learned this. We have a shul in Brooklyn called Derech Chaim on East 13th Street and Avenue. And there was a fellow he just finished high school and he needed a place to you know to daven, to pray, to grow, to learn. And we met up and he's like, "Rabbi, can I learn with you every morning?" No problem. Come, join the class. Let's do it. Comes in 6 months the guy didn't miss a day. I couldn't believe it. He was strong. Every single day we have shiur. Every single day we have shiur. He comes, he sits, he learns, and he prays, and he learns again after we pray shacharit, he learns again, and then he goes off. 6 months straight he's coming. One day after 6 months he comes to me. It was in the morning. Never forget which morning it was. But he comes to me, "Rabbi, I'm making my coffee over here in the shul. There's no hot water. What happened?" It's like I'm thinking to myself that I want to be nice. You know, I'm the rabbi. I got to be nice. You know, they look at you, you're the rabbi, you got to be nice. I got to be nice. I'm looking I'm like, "Okay. There's a plug. Plug the urn, and you got hot water." Simple. You don't have to be rocket scientist. That was nice. "Oh, is there I I mean I you know Oh, is there is there a plug there? Maybe plug it Maybe you should plug it." Oh, yeah, yeah. He goes downstairs, plugs the plug, puts the black coffee, you know, he's putting thing, opens up the fridge, runs up, "Rabbi, no milk." Like something happened, tragedy. You know, like, "Oh, no milk." You know, you can't drink coffee without milk, you know what it is. "Black coffee is not the same, Rabbi. What happened? Rabbi, where's the milk? We have no milk. What's going on?" Now, again, uh he's a nice guy. I said, "Okay, okay. I'll give you the guy by his number. I'm not charging the milk. Here's his number. Call him up." So, after whatever things like that, he couldn't get milk. So, he said, "You know what? I'm just doing that." Whatever. He goes downstairs. He's getting the sugar. There's no spoons to put the sugar in the thing to mix the sugar. OH, I GOT NO SPOON. And then I said, "I'm going to teach this guy a lesson." Right after the tefillah, I said, "I want to speak to you before you leave." He said, "Rabbi, we learned." You know, "Rabbi, am I in trouble?" I said, "No, you're not in trouble. But I want to talk to you." He says, "What happened?" I said, "You're here for 6 months straight. Can I ask you a question?" He said, "Sure." "Out of these 6 months that you were here with us, did you have every single day a cup of hot coffee with milk and sugar every day with a spoon to mix it?" He said, "Yeah, of course, every day. But today I didn't." I said, "Look at Look Look at your mind. Every Instead of complaining, WHAT'S THE FIRST THING YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO THINK OF? WOW, I DON'T HAVE COFFEE TODAY. THAT MEANS FOR 6 MONTHS STRAIGHT I had a hot cup of coffee." You know what's going on over here? You, what's going on over there? It's training our brains how to THINK A LITTLE BIT BEFORE we open our mouth. See a little bit before you open up your mouth. And now we can answer. What happened? Why is it in the beginning of the first period of Acha it has been given till the end. And perfectly order. The second period it switched. Samech peh ayin. What goes first? The ayin or the peh? The ayin. YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE WHEN YOU SEE clearly your mouth will always be grateful. Ayin is on your head first. See. Ayin is to see. Peh is your mouth, then talk. First see and then open up your mouth. See the see what's happening in YOUR LIFE. SEE WHAT you're getting. And then go, let me see WHAT YOU CAN SAY. BY THEN your mouth is going to just be praising God. You're awesome. What kind of life you gave me? Oh my goodness, this is amazing. You understand? By the way, I want to tell you something. In Devarim we read that able to see the land of Israel, yes or no? Yes or no? What kind of what does it say? Boys. Yes or no? Was he able to go see the land of Israel? Yes, very good. What you see here is good. You know, it's good. All right, he's able to see it. However the door I made bad the door generation of the midbar. I want to read you the person what it says over here. Such an amazing strong pasuk. And it says over here, Hashem heard you complaining. YOU DIDN'T EVEN SEE MY LAND OF ISRAEL. YOU JUST HEARD. AND IT'S ISRAEL IS THIS and it's Israel is that. You didn't see it. AND YOU COMPLAINED ABOUT IT. NOT ONLY ARE YOU NOT GOING TO GO IN, IT SAYS HASHEM GOT VERY UPSET BY ITSELF. NO ONE IN THIS GENERATION IS going to see Israel. Why? Can I see it? Don't let me go in. But why can't I see? YOU CAN'T SEE. WHY? CUZ YOU COMPLAINED without even seeing it. You don't have this scoot to even see it. Now, I'm going to stop here for a second and tell you about the generation of midbar. You think what's this generation? What are you thinking? I understand they complained about the man, they complained about the water, they complained about Go look, complain, complain, complain, complain. You think these are How did Moshe Rabbeinu do it? You know what I mean? If you were Moshe Rabbeinu, oh Hashem, give it to somebody else. Let him take the position. Complain and then complain and then complain and then complain. I have news for you. You can count the sins of the midbar on your hands. That's how kadosh they were. I'm going to quote for you a pirkei de Rabbi Eliezer. I want to quote for you a pirkei de Rabbi Eliezer, please. Listen to this. I want to just quote for you it so you hear what what kind of generation we're talking about. Cuz people think, oh, dor hamidbar, dor hamidbar, dor hamidbar. Oh, well, if I Trust me, if we were in that generation, forget about it, you know? Call Adonai that entire generation. The generation of the midbar. They were MERITED COME OUT HERE AND IT. THEY WERE MERITED TO BE THE LEVEL OF WHAT? OF ANGELS. YEAH. THE door midbar was a level of angels. What does it say? Imagine you're having a barbecue, right? You're having a outside in your deck, whatever it is like that. Did you ever get a fruit fly coming in right there? Anybody over here? Guess what? They didn't because they were so kadosh. The fly is not going to malach. THEY'RE MALACHIM, THEY'RE ANGELS. THAT'S HOW HOLY THEY WERE. THAT'S HOW HOLY THEY WERE. AND WHEN THEY PASSED AWAY, he writes over here when they passed on, he says, "I lost everything I wanted to learn." HE WRITES A SHAME A SHAME AND ON THIS the pasuk says, "Ashreiha am she kacha lo ashreiha am she Adonai Elohav." This is the generation of the midbar. But but even though they were so holy and they were so great, what is the halacha we have to read? Sefe Devarim before Tisha B'Av. Why? You have to read Parashat Devarim. Shulchan Aruch says, "Parashat Devarim you must read before Tisha B'Av." Why? Cuz Moshe Rabbenu is telling them what happened. Goes about seven things. Six out of the seven around, five out of the seven, you'll go look it up, is about the complaining. This is the highest generation. And we have to learn to see and not complain. Count the blessings. There was a rabbi in our community very dear to me. His name is uh Murray Masel. He goes to the shul every day. I'm going to tell you something. There was once when he was younger, much younger, he was in charge of a big youth minyan. You know, the youngsters were coming out and they were praying, they were davening, they were learning, they were doing all these amazing amazing things. And there was a committee member, committee member, that went over to him and said, "Rabbi, the youngsters, these young guys, they're making too much of a mess. This is This is This is This is ridiculous. No more. It's got to be better. IT'S GOT TO BE CLEANED UP. IT'S GOT TO THIS. It's got to that." A week passed, two a month passed. The same committee member comes to the rabbi. Says, "Rabbi, I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING." SAYS, "YEAH, SURE. WHAT do you want to show me?" Comes with him and he shows him an ice cream cone flipped over, like the vanilla ice cream cone flipped over, and all the ice cream is on the table. AND HE SAYS, "RABBI, YOU SEE THIS? YOU SEE IT?" THE RABBI HAD GLASSES. He takes off his glasses and he's like looking uh Oh, yeah, yeah. See the mess that they made with THE ICE CREAM CONE? THE RABBI PUTS UP THE GLASSES and he looks at the committee member. He says, "No." "WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I SEE THERE'S ANOTHER BOY THAT WAS IN BED AND WAS SLEEPING ON A SHABBAT MORNING AND HE GOT UP SPECIAL TO COME AND LEARN TORAH. THAT'S WHAT I SEE. WHEN I SEE A MESS IN SHUL, I SEE ANOTHER CHILD, ANOTHER YOUTH that came and got OUT OF HIS BED TO COME LEARN AND TO PRAY. THAT'S WHAT I SEE. YEAH, what's going on? Yeah, what's going on? You have to You have to see. You have to see. Complain, complain, complain, complain this, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that. Oh, come on. Come on. Think a drop. Now, how you going to fix it? What are you going to do? How you going to think? Let me tell you. Two things. Pasuk and Shir Hashirim. It says, Mashgiach min hachalonot. What's it mean? Halacha. What does that mean? Hashem sees us through the window. Hashem sees us through the crack. One second. Make up your mind. Is it through the window or is it through the crack? Make up your mind. What is it? Huh? Crack, window, machlokes. There's always machlokes. Crack, window. Avodai, a window, you could see in and you could see out. If I'm looking, I could see out. Somebody outside could see in. Correct? That's chalon. That's a window. A crack, the person behind the crack can see you, but you cannot see by the crack. But, it's always being seen. Avodai, in the times of Bet Hamikdash, there was open miracles. You'd go to the Bet Hamikdash, you would see clearly every single day the miracles. Wow. YOU WOULD SEE HASHEM CLEARLY RIGHT AWAY. THAT WAS MIN HACHALONOT. FROM THE WINDOW. NOW, NO BET HAMIKDASH. BUT, HASHEM IS STILL SEEING YOU CLEARLY. HE NEVER LET YOU GO. AND IF THAT'S THE CASE, YOU KNOW WHY YOU DON'T COMPLAIN? BECAUSE YOU KNOW THAT HE'S GIVING YOU THE BEST LIFE EVER. YOU KNOW THAT. WHY? CUZ HE'S MY FATHER and he loves me so much and he's looking out even though I don't see Beit Hamikdash. I don't see the miracles. I don't see anything. But I know my father is looking through the crack 24/7 at me. Perfect. You know, did anybody in this room ever teach their kids how to swim? A little bit. Raise your hand, boys. Anybody? Not one person? One two three people? Okay, guys. One of the things you got to teach your kids how to swim, you know what I'm saying? All right. Say "Kedushin". All right. I want to tell you. I want to tell you something. I'm going to tell you when I took my kid to swim, what happened. Story. You want to hear the story? I have a young 5-year-old. Say, you know, come. Let's swim. Okay. She's paddling with the feet and this and that. And now I'm taking her a little bit more in the deeper and this and that. Okay? She's holding my neck. 5-year-old holding my neck. You You know what I'm talking about? Like hold my Dad, don't leave me. Dad, don't let me go. Don't let me go. Don't let me go. Don't let me go. I don't want to let you go. I want to see how you're going to swim. You know, just do. Just paddle. Just Just Just straight. Do. I pull her off my neck and SHE FALLS. SCREAMING. I GRAB HER. PICK HER UP. I'M GETTING OUT OF THE POOL, DAD. Get me out of the pool. Get me out of the pool. Get me out of the pool. Pull her out of THE POOL. MOM, DAD IS SO MEAN. HE DROWNED ME. I WAS LIKE, OH. What just happened? How do I feel as a daddy? You think I will ever let you go? Are you kidding me? You're my daughter. I'm with you right here. The problem that we have with complaints cuz you don't realize God is right there. He's right there standing next to you. You know how he feels WHEN YOU COMPLAIN I GO WAH WAH WAH. YOU KNOW HOW HE FEELS? I'M TAKING CARE OF YOU AND THIS WHAT YOU TELL ME? Come on. Seriously? That's what it is that's why we're sitting here. Enough complaining this is not going right and this not going right. See count your blessings count your blessings count your blessings count your blessings. What do I How much more time we have another minute? 2 minutes? 2 and 1/2 minutes? Okay. I'll finish with this then. Two more things. Like this. Where it speaks in the Torah about complaining is in Parshat Behaalotecha. Over there it has what? Two noons. Noon and a noon. Upside down ones. Did anybody see it? You guys saw it? You know what I'm talking about? Noon noon double noon. What's Gematria noon? 50. Plus another noon, how much? 100. That area in the Torah is speaking about complaining. Complaining about this, complaining about that, complain complain complain complain complain. 100. David Amel says Shulchan Aruch holds like this. Chiyav Adam levarech me'ah berachot bechol yom. You have to make 100 berachot every day and that's what we do. 100 berachot every single day. Because David Amel IS SAYING COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS. YOU ARE BLESSED. AYIN, LOOK. Ayin comes before peh. Ayin peh. Your eye, let it SEE BEFORE PEH and then eye, BECAUSE WHEN YOU SEE, YOU'LL see the blessings that you have in your life. What's the gematria of modim? Mem, vav, dalet, yud, mem. What's the gematria? How much is that? What does modim mean? To thank. Modim gematria is 100. Again, your blessing I share them 100 times a day with the brachot. Avotai, count your blessings.