CHAZAQ's Torah Talks #222 Rabbi Yitzchak Wurem - A Life of Happiness

When people are looking to go and have goals in life, they have to look at the ends in mind. Where do I want to be? And how do we get there? How to get there is through simple small steps. Very and often life people [music] make a mistake and think it's yiddish kai Judaism is all nothing. I got to BE PERFECT. I GOT to and that's what it's about. It's not the reality. The reality is small simple steps make a person happy because they see progress and that's so so important. [music] Today's episode is sponsored by Borism Tax Planning and Advisory. Schedule your free tax strategy session online and get started now. Call us at 212-430-6881 to learn more. >> Welcome everyone to tonight's special program, Kazak's Torah Talks program. we have is a special guest every single week. Tonight's guest is Rabbi Islam. Welcome, Rabbi. Thank you for joining us. >> Thank you so much for having me. It's such an honor and a privilege to be here and I'm looking forward to spending the time with you and to be able to learn and to grow and to be together with everyone. >> Okay, great. We're looking forward. So, before we before we we have a very special topic we're talking about happiness, something that we're all striving for and we're we're all searching for, but I guess Rabbi, I guess you could start us just if we could learn some something more about yourself and the great work you're involved. >> Thank you so much. So I'm currently the head of school at Zucker Jewish Academy of Queens here. It's a school that started just last year. We started with 17 students. Thank God today we have 82 students. The goal is that there should be no Jewish children in public school. We want to be able to provide an amazing opportunity, incredible education, a warm family environment. And I have the privilege of running it together with my partner Melia Aptton, our principal, and our wonderful dedicated staff. I'm a Muslim queen. I learned for Nishima for 14 and a half years. I've been in education for close to 30 years. I've worked for the Jewish education program of Long Island and their camp nila and I've been involved in parenting workshops and working with families uh for decades and it's just an amazing opportunity to be here this evening to to spend some time with you. >> Okay, great. We're looking forward to it. So, it's on the topic of happiness. So if if if you if you I think if you if you take the common denominator of um of of what people are searching for um there people people are are going to from we're we're sitting over here in New York people will go to to to other countries Antarctica the the moon maybe SpaceX they're going they're looking for for something they're maybe looking for some happiness what would you say people are looking for and I guess what's deeper under underpinnings of what people are like they're searching for. >> Excellent. That's an amazing question. I think a lot of time people are looking for happiness outside of themselves. But the reality is happiness really is an internal feeling. We are as the gammor says in condition made up of two parts of our body. A physical and a spiritual component. The spiritual component was provided by Hashem God himself giving us an physical by our parents our mother and father. And there's a constant battle as the mess shar says that starts from the day we are born and goes till the day we die between the physical and spiritual world. And this battle sometimes gets us to be a little bit distracted about what's uh priorities in life. So we'll look for the moon and we'll look for Hawaii and we'll look for Antarctica and all these other places looking for escapes and great times to have an experience. But true happiness really rest in looking inside of that pint, that spark inside of a person to to really see that nit is the eternity in in the spirituality. And that's the battle and the balance that we face in life. And there's nothing wrong with having fun from society. If anything, Hashem wants us to have fun and enjoyment. But the ultimate way of having fun is through Torah mitzvos and seeing the beauty and the relevance and and the deeper deeper meaning involved in it and through my life and experience of education and mentoring people and working with families. The more a person looks to themselves and their own tovote their character traits, their self-development, their successes, the more true happiness they have and it spills over to their family and to the community at large. >> And so how do if if how how does a person get onto that road of happiness? Meaning fine may rabbi he says tremendous. Okay, fine. May maybe people they they were in the rat race and maybe they were following maybe the marketing in the streets. Maybe they're fine. Now, okay, fine. Rabbi, okay, fine. Now, what do I do? Okay, fine. Maybe I was I was misdirected, misguided. Okay, what do I do now? How do I what are my first steps to get on the right the right path? >> Excellent. It's an amazing question. I want to share with you my three-step approach to life. And I hold that this approach has had a major impact on myself and other people. I share with when people are looking to go and have goals in life, they have to look at the ends in mind. Where do I want to be? In a certain sense, what I want them to say about me at my funeral, what do I want my children and grandchildren, great grandchildren to remember you for? What is that that that component? And when you know what your goal is, it's almost like putting in your direction in your GPS. If you don't have a direction, the car is knocking out reprogramming, redirecting, redirecting, redirecting. We have to have a goal in mind to where we're heading for. Number one is we have to know what the end in mind is. Now, how do we get there? How to get there is through simple small steps. Very and often in life, people make a mistake. I think it's Yiddish Kai, Judaism, is all or nothing. I GOT TO BE PERFECT. I GOT TO That's what it's about. It's not the reality. The reality is small, simple steps make a person happy because they see progress. And that's so so important. And the third component is the fact that Hashem, God created us and he loves us and he wants us to be happy in this world and the world to come. And by taking advantage of the Torah mitz we have by learning by taking small steps in that regards it helps. So you see the distance what we're aiming for. I'm taking the sto small steps along the way and I know that I have the loving watchful eyes of Hashem God to guide us through the process. I I love the the the methodology here and as you were talking about how how that you were just saying previously that that your happiness will hopefully spill over to your to your um your your the people around you, your friends, your family. It's like what if if you yourself you you now you're on the path to to hopefully a brighter light of of happiness. But now how do you how do you how do you bring that to the your to others around you who maybe are um not not on that path? >> Excellent. That's a very excellent question. Again, I think the key to success when it comes to other people is called role modeling behavior. When a person is a parent, when a person is a teacher, when a person is a community member, when a person is just a worker in an office, people are watching. Talk is good. Actions speak louder than words. When a person is working and seeing the brahos the blessings the the good things that they have in their life every single day they wake up in the morning and they appreciate what they have then what ends up happening is it spills over to others and I'll tell you a very important point our happiness cannot be dependent on other people if I'm a parent and my happiness depends if my child is happy then I'm losing control of the situation because I don't control my child's happiness if my happiness depending on if my spouse is happy I don't have control of that either all I can try to control is myself and how I respond to others and through personal development through limiting a mus learning mus learning ethical works having a rebi having a mentor having a r to guide and not not being shy to be able to ask for help from others is crucial to be able to see that and once you have that then it spills over to others because when a cup is full and it's overflowing it just radiates and it impacts everyone around them >> well everyone has highs and lows in in their life and and and and we want we the people I'm saying we what what does it say It says says like aceless time to be happy, time to be sad this and that. So um how do you how do you balance like like uh versus like that together with we've always want to be in in the state of happiness? How how do we how do we juggle them all? It's such a great question as well. Wow, you're on fire. I think the key to success here is to realize that a person has the ability to be happy all the time. But how do you be happy all the time? Because you realize that Hashem, God is the one running the show. And a person trust in realizes that he's taking care of me. Even when things don't go the way I want it, it is really everything Hashem does is for the best. It's not, oh, that Hashem does best. Oh, I wish it was something else. It would be better. No, >> it's not just good for I only want a bumper sticker. It's just it should be living. get there and it's learning it and it's reviewing it and it's and it's modeling it and it's realizing there's a roller coasters ups and downs in life but through the bumps and the curves that we go through in life we have to come back and always look and see the fact that there's a here we're only going to know the real truth after 120 years when we come and look down and say how everything makes sense but we can look back at the different situations we've been in the past and see the kindnesses and you know past performance of the bar was kindness is evidence of future results we can see the beauty and the passion of of how things and and that can lead to true happies. There are times that they're difficult. That's true. But when we realize sometimes we have to get that punch and that p that wakeup call, but we have to take the messaging from it and realize it's coming from a place of compassion and mercy and love. >> Powerful powerful message. And can you can you leave us off? It's such tremendous gems um for us for for us today. Can can you leave us with one maybe final take-home practical message that that that that we can remember not only right now but tomorrow on our on on our road to uh school or work or or for hopefully for days and years to come. >> Thank you so much. I believe that we control our future. How do we control our future? I can make the best out of every single circumstances in front of me. How does that happen? We have to always look to see the the kindness in our life every moment of the day. [music] So when we're driving in the car, when we're doing the mundane activities of the day, we're washing dishes, we're doing things, we have to always think of the fact that Hashem loves us, is there for us, cares about us, and he's watching down. And there's no such thing as a mundane action. Everything is just an action of trying to serve Hashem. And if we take advantage of those opportunities, it'll bring true simple and happiness, purpose, and meaning. And every single day will matter that much more for each of us. >> Powerful powerful. Thank you so much, Ral, for joining us. Thank you everyone for for joining us on on the on the podcast to talks podcast. Of course, everyone's encouraged to join us every Tuesday night 8:30 p.m. right here on kazak.org/live. Thank you to um to any time and different podcast players for for for streaming it and for for all the people all the amazing viewers. And of course we want to thank thank yourself and Sukar Academy for partnering together of course with Kazak on this on this mission of no child left behind. We have to give every [music] every every child a every Jewish child a a proper Jewish education. And thank you for joining us. >> Thank you so much as well. Thank you.