CHAZAQ's Torah Talks #217 Rabbi Eliezer Zeytouneh - Finding The Spark In Each Child

I always start off my class generally with allowing the audience whether it's in my synagogue, my Shiva speaker somewhere that every piece of Torah you learn is Hashem talking to you. There's a reason why you're learning this. You're not learning something else. Why do you have to learn this topic and not something else? [music] Right? The reason is because this is what Hashem wants you to learn. So a teacher Rebi has to understand that that you're now transmitting a message from Hashem to his kids to his to his [music] children. Welcome everyone back to to Kazak's Torah Talks program where we have the great honor to hear today from Rabbi Zetun. >> Nice to meet you. >> Good to see you. We have this the rabbi is so great. He's actually on this. We had you a few years ago on the podcast and we're doing 2.0 edition time, right? I think it was >> I think it was. Yeah. So we go from virtual to now this is reality. So we welcome the rabbi back and before we get in we have a very special topic tonight today all all about u education for for for today's generation and of course we want to for of course if we can hear just the background of the great work that you follow >> so I've been in education for over 25 years started out as a teacher in the high school became the dean of students over there opened up an elementary school then I went to high school again now I decided you know there has to be an educational anal platform that can give the students a wide array of opportunities to shine. And of course, every yes is yes good, every institution is good, every educational facility is good. Of course, everyone has their niche. But there was a niche that I felt was, you know, was very much needed where we could combine an education, achieve education with vocational studies and, you know, vocational training and and include leadership training into that program. and hopefully you'll have a tremendous success emerge and we you know we graduated three years and we have we're seeing it we're seeing the wow >> seeing the fruit in um and uh you know it's important that that you know you have an outlet for every every type of student >> so so quite often when you think about education you person might think okay fine take out the textbook just like okay fine take out the algebra textbook bio textbook whatever it might be okay fine you teach the subject subjects but but but is there a difference fundamentally between maybe a secular subject and maybe Torah? So, so I'll tell you, let's start from the beginning. Even if you're teaching algebra, if you don't know it, you're not teaching it adequately. No, algebra, bi algebra, biology, [snorts] chemistry, history, all those things. If you're lacking your knowledge, you can't transmit it properly. When it comes to Torah, it's it's more than that because you're not feeding a kid a subject. When you're teaching a kid, you know, you're teaching this kid and his his kids and his grandkids and you're teaching you're setting him up for a certain, you know, level of spirituality which will allow him to now meet someone on his level and then build from there. So it's besides for having to know what you're teaching, you also have to make it interesting, appealing, you know, something that they're going to want to learn because you're talking to the And I tell I'm talking too much, right? And I tell I'll tell you I'll tell you something else. You know, I always start off my class generally with allowing the audience whether it's in my synagogue, my Shiva speaker somewhere that every piece of Torah you learn is Hashem talking to you. There's a reason why you're learning this. you're not learning something else. Why do you have to learn this topic and not something else? Right? The reason is because this is what Hashem wants you to learn. So a teacher Rebi has to understand that that you're now transmitting a message from Hashem to his kids to his to his children. And therefore it's it's not the same. You know, biology finite is not finite. It could go out and spread into many different, you know, many different topics into a person's life. Uh same thing with Navi. Some people think it's it's history. Some people think it's advice for life. Some people take a look a little bit deeper. You know, it's what Torah is. Torah could be taught in 70 different ways. >> Yeah. >> It's not just, you know, an equation and we're not mitigating the importance of math. It's important also. But if you want to know there's a distinction, definitely distinction talking to an >> Hashem. So, so there there's um I heard once from the the GA conventure up at Riseman. He said that there were that rough palm. He said, "Don't uh don't focus on on on teaching Gamarra on teaching Rashi. Teach students." So, but but but but sometimes you might think, "Okay, fine. That's nice. You put it on the bumper sticker of a car. You put it nice in the front of the yeshiva." But how do you practically you you have you have you have 20 people in the room, 500 people in the yeshiva, 500 people in the sh, 100 people in the show. How do you practically give each person how do you educate or inspire each person when you're but you're doing it in the masses? How do you how do you focus? How do you give it to individualized attention, information, inspiration? >> That's great. So, it's a phenomenal question and I'm going to give you one answer. So, the truth of the matter is if you you know the first it says, okay, that's gave counsel to stand up and erect many students. Okay, students a lot. Erect students a lot. How do you do that? What do you mean erect students a lot? Very simple. Give them confidence. The number one key in success in any person is confidence. So if you have 20 students and you're able to give each one confidence throughout the day, throughout the day, an encouragement, a compliment, come to my office, you know my yeshiva, my office is open. Person wants to make a boy, wants to make a coffee, you can make a coffee, you want to get a cookie, you want to get a muffin, you want to get whatever it is, it's always come and say a word. >> It's almost you don't even need a door. It's it's always open. It's always open. >> Even against my will, they're always in there. But thank God and and and it's it's very light. It's very nice. It's it's a encouraging word. How are you? How you feeling? That's really how you foster confidence. Once you force the confidence, now the ears open. Now the heart opens. Now they might not get every lesson. You try your hardest, but much they'll they'll be able to absorb much much more. I'll give you an example. You ever take a look? There's a person who throughout throughout school he was a dismal failure. Never passed anything. Never did wasn't interested. Didn't want to learn. All of a sudden he goes into the business world and he becomes a success. What do you see him doing? You see him in the he's sitting he's learning making simme. What happened? [clears throat] You became a genius over there. What happened? No. When he went into business he did well. Became confident. Now that he became confident his heart opened up. Now his heart opened up. Now you're able to learn. Now you're able to learn. So really that really is the conduit to success in in in many many occasions. In many many cases all you have to do is encourage. Encourage. Show them love. Show them you care. Show them that they're important. Show them that they're unique. Show them that they could do it. They could persevere. And you'll see that greatness emerges from every every single individual. That's how you teach many students. That's what it means. Don't teach the subject. Teach the student how? By opening up his heart and his mind by giving him his confidence. That that's how you absorb information. Wait, would you say this maybe like a just look at like a hakara you is is what how do you see the greatness of to Hashem or to somebody who drove you or whatever because you're recognizing the good would you say that's a similar thing you look in the student okay fine maybe he's doing these three things wrong but look at the toe you say >> I'll give you I'll give you an example we had a student many years ago that was not not interesting wasn't interesting and he came and He would disrupt. He would fight. You would argue. One day he was talking to me and he explain, you know, he mentioned to me that he likes to cook. He loves to cook. He said, "Yeah, great. Tomorrow you're making breakfast for the hyisha." Next day he came, he made eggs for the hyisha. How you can make it with pepper and pepper. So this way you like it, right? All the relishes. What? He did it twice. He became phenomenal kid. Sat down. Why? Because again, you reach the good like you said to you realize there. Everybody has to. Yeah. Yeah, everybody. If you're a living being, that means you have a to have to in you. So once you tap into it, you're able to extrapolate it. You could develop anybody anybody. It's an amazing it's an amazing thing. It's what rabbis tell us. It's not it's not my good. It's not my kadoo. >> I would love to take your credit for it, but I can't. But that's what the rabbis explain. And therefore, if you find a means there's a everyone has a you tap into the you find a you can get to the same destination. You can find any two people. You can reach the same destination different the different way. >> When you go when you go on ways, it says you can get this way in three different ways. I thought there's one way. What do you do? Three different ways. >> Trust me, we came in now. They took us through the backyard. I don't know where [laughter] we're going streets. You know, I got a little skin in some of the neighborhoods. But >> so three exponential whatever hundreds of ways. U Rabbi, of course, there's so many um um ways of of role models for us in in in the world of of education. Can you maybe share us maybe a thought or two or an idea from maybe some of the great rabbis or scholars on the topic of education? It's very well known how used to be able to give again individual attention to individuals not allowing people to feel like they're excommunicated or stranded or out worrying about individuals. He did that work with auton attention to every aa to see if he could be mun to allow them to to remarry. It's amazing how he did it in phenomenal. Another role model of mine was the great rabbi in the Syrian community who I myself uh experienced a few times how he was able to give individuals into you know is well-deserved attention. I'll give you an example. I when I first got married so he used to give a class in 6:00 in the morning. No, he prayed six in the morning. 5:30 in the morning, they already were learning. If you weren't there at 5:30 in the morning, they were in the middle of the sh. Okay. So, he was there and Rabbi was there was there a bunch of rabbis was there. So, when I first got married, I decided to go venture. I prayed six o'c. >> Wow. >> Phenomenal. Phenomenal. [clears throat] So, I went there one day, two days. After a while, newly went get tired. No. So, I started praying a little bit later. Couple of weeks later, I decided to come in. I came in. Rabbi got worried. Where were you? Everything okay? Are you all right? Could you imagine? Here I am, a newlywed guy, a rabbi. He's the biggest rabbi in the one of the biggest rabbis in the community. What do you feel? Why would you even notice I wasn't there? But he noticed. He noticed, you know, and make every person feel good. I remember when I was a kid was walking in Ocean Parkway to kiss. So he stopped. I don't know where he was going. He stopped start your name. school you go to? What are you learning? Rabbi give us how many people are waiting for you. What do you want want from me? Unbelievable ability to zero in on the strength on the confidence you know on the light that every person possesses able to turn up the light. Phenomenal phenomenal thing. >> Wow. Beautiful. So many gems today. Raashm if you could uh if you if you have uh if you could leave us with one final message for for all listeners. What's a take-h home message that we can practically apply to all of us? >> So I would say like this a message for the parents. You know many times parents feel disappointed because they feel my kid is not what I thought he would be. I never thought never thought he was going to be like this. I don't think he was going to do this. I don't think he was going to like this. You know what a president has to realize that before gave you a kid you looked around and said who are the best parents for this kid? says the three partners for every every kid has three partners the mother the father and hashem before went into the partnership with that kid he looked who are the best partners who are the best partners to help me raise this kid and if you understand that God gave you that kids because you could do the best with that kid disappointment is the worst thing you that a kid could feel from his parents best thing is time and love you give every kid time and love you know kid comes to my yeshiva without confidence It means that something was missing. Something was missing. I'm not saying it's from the parents. Could have been from the parents, from the school, from some sort of, you know, happen stance that happened before, but if the parents develop a kid when he's younger, already when he gets older, he is already confident. He's already confident. Yeah, he might not be the way the way you want him, but it's not it's not the restaurant. It's not a vending machine. Okay, fine. Put him to the to the kid is not a vending machine. You can put the A2 and he comes out the way you want. Every kid is given to you with his talents, with his qualities and his deficiencies. And our job is to take all of those things and help not make him something to help him become something. He's got to make those decisions. So give a kid and every parent again I'm asking it's an appeal from Rabbi Zetuni. Okay, that's my name anyway. And um but an appeal give every kid time and love. Time and love. Doesn't matter what what you did, how busy you are, how things are. I'll tell you, >> I once had a meeting with the I sat down. I said, Rashe, I got to ask you a question. I said, you know, I'm a RV. I'm a principal. I have a family. I said how do you be a successful R successful Rashiva a su successful father successful husband? So the rabbi said like this and I remind the rabbi when I see the rabbi I always said like this says when you're a rabbi you're a rabbi when you're when you're a father you're a father when your husband your husband you can't bring work home don't bring the stresses of work home don't bring distress just like you can't bring home to to work don't bring work home your father your father spend time with your kids tell them you love them give them a hug sometimes it's very hard for people to say I love you some people are not programmed to say I love for your kid. Why wouldn't you do everything for your kid? So for your kid, you come, you give him a hug. For your kid, you tell them you love them. It's the biggest thing. It opens up a kid so much. It's unbelievable. And that's that. If you want to know one takeaway message, that's it. That's a takeaway message. Give your kids time and love. Tell them those words. It might be odd in the beginning. Tell them I love you. I believe in you. Care about you. And don't be don't be fake because kids are very good. They know. They know if it's fake. >> They have X-ray vision. They're very very good. They're not. They have a smarter than you and me. Okay. And if not, they ask they ask what's her name, whatever, right? Just be genuine. Give a real smile, a real hug, a real kiss. Tell your kids, "I love you." And you'll be you'll be amazed. You'll be amazed how they make you proud. Really, very good. >> Rabbi, thank you very much for my friend for many years. I love you. Okay. We we love you, Rabbi. We're we're actually going to call upon we have talking about Tamidim and inspiring the the students. We we actually have two um guests from the crowd. We have the the two students over here. Please join us in over here. >> Our guests over here. We have >> this is my good friend. Say your name. >> Adam. >> Take a seat for a quick second. >> Oh, are you good? >> And who's our second? >> Say your name. >> My two prime students who are doing very well, making us proud and they could uh attest to eat of my muffins in my office. Very good. >> Thank you everyone for joining us on the on the podcast. Um, of course everyone just join us every Tuesday night khazak.orglive every single week for another for for amazing speakers or amazing speakers Rabonim like the amazing Rabbi Zetune. And of course join us um you see any of the previous episodes to anytime and any any of the other amazing podcast players. Thank you so much.