Tomchei Temimim and being a Tomim, Rabbi Yossi Paltiel - 5786

Africa but and it's also not my first time I'm speaking in the yeshiva of South Africa. This is a different building, different situation. And I trust and I hope that Hashem over time this yeshiva will become famous. People are going to want to get into the yeshiva in South Africa. And the only issue is going to be that it's going to be far away and you'll be able to say I was from the first. Are you kidding? I'm from the first. Okay. So I I'm I'm sort of I can talk whatever I want, but I was I asked by fishman what I should talk about. So I'm going to present you what I think is a typical baka dilemma. It's not a yeshiva baka dilemma. It's a lab baka dilemma. That is a challenge that um I would like you to consider. Okay, I'll give you a little history. I overheard Baham talking about Pal is going to talk for an hour. I'm going to fall asleep but at least part of my hour I'll be telling stories. So for that part you can stay awake. Um the beginning of the story this the yeshivas even if they're not officially called are in the spirit of the yeshivaim and I'm going to give you a little bit of a background about the history of the yeshivasim. [sighs and gasps] Um was born in Russia in 1897 to re Nunai 1897. In 1897 um it was still hard to know how much the world would change. I mean I I don't want to give you a history lesson but the beginning of all the chis if you want to be very broad you can go back to 1866. If you want to be narrower go back to 1890. But the onset, the seeing of the world changing, the way the world has changed in the last hundred years is World War I and World War II. Between World War I and World War II, at least at least 80 million people died, maybe 90 million. And as you know, a significant percentage of those 80 or 90 million people were the Jewish people. But in 1897, you couldn't yet see how much the world was going to change. Russia was very anti-semitic. Russia was officially anti-Semitic. Russia was also very oppressive. In other words, Russia wasn't only anti-semite, it was anti-goy. Also, the Russian civilization um was built on a noble class. That means two or 3% of the people who had so much money and had so much power and had so much comfort and everybody else was basically a slave. The Tsarist Russia, the kings of Russia are at fault for the revolution, the communist revolution because they treated the people terribly and they treated the Jewish people doubly terribly. So Gashmir's life of Yidden Russia was extremely hard but the best yeshivists in the world. The best yeshivists in the world were in Russia. The best the best in the world. Some of the most famous names Baranovich Mir tells Slabka. These are all we call them. We're not called and yeshivas were just yeshivas. Yeshivas didn't teach you to be antias. just taught you and they didn't go into the question of in those days a typical yeshiva would visit different just for curiosity because yeshivists just taught to they didn't get involved in in ideas in mus even they just taught to the best yeshivas in the world were in Russia the best yeshivas and the was a young man he was younger than all of you but he was the fir And he came to his father and suggested that we make a yeshiva came to the and suggested that we make a yeshiva and the said yeshiva but there's so many yeshivas there's so many yeshivas there's more t in Russia than any place else in the world the best yeshivas in the world were in Russia galitzia where the lived had great goim but they didn't really have yeshivas for reasons that I I may get into a little bit later but the fact is the best yeshivas in the world by far with yeshivas and the fba came to his father was making yeshiva and the reb initially didn't want there's a quote in the rebba's journal that the previous toldb that when thebay said to the reb that he wants to make yeshiva he know his father told him make people want to learn t and organize see them do pistic things but the wanted yeshiva and he pressed and he pressed he pressed and the way the story goes if you read the diary's journal which was only revealed after it was push the wedding present when the fa got married he was just 17 when he got married you're probably younger than most of you also when he got married one of the things that his father granted him as a wedding gift was the yeshiva the fikba told the rebba The yeshiva is from the yeshiva was a gift that I got from father for my wedding and the previous you should know the responsibility taken by opening up a yeshiva. But once the yeshiva was established once the agreed to make the yeshiva the became the father of the talmid. The fir was the manal. ran the yes is yes and the rebab was the was really he was the head mashia in the early years of tempavich the rebab was involved with like a mashia almost he gave them personal direct was very very very special and the rebab set the charge set the course for and here's the thinking here's the vision okay and this is all going to lead up to the challenge of I'm going to get to that with time in mid and again you have to understand the time you have to understand the 1890s you have to understand something that's now 125 130 years old today you can't even understand it okay Jews in Russia suffered a lot in Russia suffered a lot and any place you walked people were whispering about revolution any place you walked people talked about revolution revolution revolution revolution there were so many different teams of people who wanted to make revolution. There are hundred names. They were called communists. They were called socialists. There was even anarchists. All kinds of people wanted to change the world. I want to tell you something. Okay? What's the difference between poor people and rich people? Now, you may not think so, but you should just know you're all rich. Compared to those people, you're all rich. The different between rich people and poor people is rich people play with toys and poor people play with ideas. If you have no cell phone and you have no Nintendo and you have nothing to entertain yourself with, see discuss ideas. So if you could go back 120 years, 130 years and understand the world of the 1890s of the turn of the century, the average person was much much smarter than the average person today because it was his only toy. He didn't have anything to entertain himself. So people would argue all over not just Jews go people would debate ideas and from all of these arguing different philosophies emerged. How could we make the world better? How could we make the world better? What can we do to change the terrible lives that they were living in Russia at that time? And there all of these what they called isms. No, Judaism, [laughter] communism, all these isms, Zionism, Yiddishism. All of these isms had one thing in common. These were people who were very poor. The only toy they had was their brain and their ability to argue. And they would sit in taverns, in bars, in beer pubs, in Fabangan halls, in basement, and discuss ideas. And ideas were so important to them that they would physically beat each other up for disagreeing because this was the only thing they had. They were extremely poor. And when you're extremely poor, you want to change the world. And they were using their minds to develop all these revolutions. All of the noise that was happening outside trickled into the yeshivas, the yeshivists in Russia, which were by far the best yeshivists in the world. I mean to get into a yeshiva in Russia. Any yeshiva you want. Name a yeshiva you want. Mir bananovich slabotk tells Kelm baranovich. All these yeshivas 100 would come as man as man means and they would take 10 200 as they take 15. And the boys who came were all the best. In other words, there's enormous competition to get into a yeshiva. The yeshivas were environment for the smartest. They were extremely extremely intelligent boys who wanted to learn and they took the the smartest of the smartest. So you have a a room full of people I don't know 100 200 300 500 boys sitting in one room learning where the the simplest child was like the smartest smartest brilliant very smart people. Smart people are curious people. smart people interested in ideas and all the ideas from the street was creeping in through the cracks of the walls of the Ba Medish and the same arguments that people were having in the in the bars and in the basement and in the pubs the bim were having in the yeshivas. So in these great institutions of learning bam learn they would be big lim it was perfectly normal for a boy to know the whole shas they would also spend a lot of time with these these debates these discussions how you make the world better and a very significant part of these discussions was not just about how do you make the world better but was also about what is true what is real and what is true and what is actual. So you had an environment boys learning on the highest level. Many of them many of them were not sure they believed in God. Many of them were not sure if they believed in. And many of them in private were push not keeping mitzvah. They were learning lumbus on the highest level but the noise from the street kept crept into the cracks of the walls of the yeshiva and it corroded not their mind it corroded their soul it didn't quote their brain their learning it corroded their okay I knew a man who told me personally he grew up near inet his name was label Mr. labels this. He told me the story himself. He grew up in Ka and his father said he was a little boy. He said Lek on Shabas never walked down this street. Le Shabas never walked down this street. Now of course you know what happened when your father tells you on Shabas never walked down the street. The next Shabas bright and early he got up and he walked on the street. He was told not to walk down. It's 7:30 in the morning on a shabas beautiful morning and he hears aid learning from a Jew was learning with such a sweetness and he couldn't understand why his father would not want him to walk down the street until they got close. The id was sitting on his porch on the shabas morning learning a m and smoking a cigarette. This phenomena was a lot more prevalent than you understand. The the great institutions of learning because he had such a concentration of smart people. All these masters of these isms all the people who thought that were going to make the world better with these new ideas. The yeshiva was a perfect place to get the smartest people involved in your version of revolution. And in a lot of the yeshivas there was a corrosion of the soul, not the mind. They were brilliant big lim but in terms of their in terms of there was a weakening of the spirit to the Jewish people of the smartest yiden in Russia. Now the Reb, the Reb understood this and the certainly understood this and when they made it it was a reaction to this was built as an environment where you're going to have bright boys the smartest kids learn but they're going to put their dream their vision their sense was we have to raise boys who keep care more about a mitzvah than a thousand pages of because a mitzvah is more important than a thousand pages of because one mitzvah and a second mitzvah and a third mitzvah and a fourth mitzvah makes a yid a simple person who fears God does mitzvah is a beautiful yid a yid who learns lots and lots of and his nish has been stolen by ideas, by doubts, by smart people is not good. It's not healthy. The Jewish people will not survive by intellectuals. It just doesn't work. And this was the spirit of what the Reb called. He wanted a whole. And the word and the wordim, which you all know, it meant whole. Number one, whole means you learn. Number two, that you're earnest. You're serious about Yiddish. And number three, like we had in yesterday, you're simple when it comes to Hashem. When it comes to there's no questions, when the they checked how smart you were, and if you were not right, you didn't get in. All these in Russia was the same thing. 200 bahim came as man and they took 20 l 200 cameab kids from they took 10% of them they took only 10% most boys were sent home because they were not smart enough but in they'd look you up and down the mashia would look you over and the would look at you he was the manal he was the principal but he was the look you up up and down if they saw in you what they used to call in those days a worm. If they saw in you a tiny app, if they saw in you a little teeny teeny part of being smart, smart enough to question whether t is mis, whether hashem is mis, whether hina happened, whether are important, they just didn't take you because wanted to raise Jews who were not just learned, which is what yeshiva is about. Yeshivas are about learning. But they were rock solid Jews. Rock solid Jews. But wait, that's not the end. There's another part. And the other part is called yeshiva's was made that every boy who comes into the yeshiva goes out of the yeshiva and he can't just live a private life. He's not a private citizen. He's not the kind of guy who can go back to and get himself a job and live his life and don't bother me and I won't bother you. Every boy who learns to use the language of our generation is automatically aches through these doors is a tom and a tom as a is a candle to illuminate the world around himself. So I just gave you three things. Three things to contemplate. Three. Number one, yeshivas are houses of learning. The best yeshivas had the best bakim, the smartest kids, the best, the best and the birds learned day and night. They were very learned. Very very learned. But in time that wasn't enough. Number two, there had to be a a wholeness in our relationship with Hashem. We don't question Hashem. We don't doubt Hashem. We don't question TA. We don't doubt. We believe in it. Now, I don't know you. I don't know you. I'm a stranger. I just came to town. I realize many of you also come from overseas. You I know from a long time ago, but did I don't know. So, I know. So, I don't know. But I'm sure many boys have questions. It's normal for teenagers. You're very smart. and you don't have any experience of life, you're asking questions. Every teenager asks questions and you deserve answers. And when your questions touch on matters of amuna, you have to have the right mashim, the right madim, the right teacher. So don't tell don't speak upis don't tell you you're a bum but listen to your questions and help you find answers. But the model of is that every boy should take from here a a tr a sense of the truth of yiddishkite that's beyond reproach. When you're 17, you're allowed to have questions. But when you're 25, you put your questions in the right place, which is usually the garbage can with where they belong in the first place. But it'll take you have to learn that for yourself. You shouldn't believe that because I said it. You should figure out the futility of asking questions. You know how questions work. You know how you think that if you answer every question there'll be a perfect system. What you will find out is that there's no end to questions. Every answer is another question. Every question is another answer. Every answer is another question. If a person says I can't living start living my life until I answer all my questions, he will never live because there will never be an end to questions. The nature of learning, the nature of knowledge is that it doesn't finish. At some point, you put your questions aside and you live your life. That's called growing up in your goal. Your second goal, your first goal to learn lots and lots of your second goal is to come out of here with a clarity about and the iss and I am sure about it. Can I prove it to you? Maybe I can prove it to myself. But I've lived it enough to know that whether I understand it in my brain or I don't understand it in my brain, this is em this is the end product of aim. That's number two. And number three that every boy who comes through these doors should walk out of these doors with a sense of duty for a fellow Jew. When the made yes, he said, which I'm sure you've heard about in spirit. The three things I just told you are the three ideas that the Reb presented to the he wants them to want to be. And of course in labaviching was a big part of the life and a certain percentage of the davin for many many hours. This was a very big part of the life and number three that every boy who walks through these doors walks out of here with a sense of obligation to a fellow Jew to make the world around himself brighter. So I want you to understand the challenge you have. Come to any person and give them a job. Come to any person, give them a job. So, what's the most important thing? Come to any person, give them a job. What's the most important thing? Huh? >> How much you going to pay me? How much you going to pay me? How much am I worth? How much you Let's talk Let's talk mascus. How much you going to pay me? Okay. So, the boss needs you as an employee. You need a job. So, you figure out what works for both of you. He wants to give as little as possible. You want to take as much as possible and there's officially laws of the marketplace which really don't work but don't tell that to anybody who figure out what your salary is. But then there's a second part which is really for the employer much more important. What's my job? What am I expected to do? You hire somebody, you give him a job, you have to make it very clear what his job is. If you give a person a job and you say to him your job is to oh do this this this this and this. that person is not going to do anything. They're going to get fired or they're going to waste your money. Because if you want a person to do a job, you want the job description to be crisp. You hire a worker, tell them exactly what you want. And when you tell them exactly what you want, don't come next week and say, "Oh, by the way, I forgot I want you to do this also." No, no, no, no. The contract says, "This is my job." And you want to be clear and as narrow as possible. You come to a person, don't give them 55 little things to do. You want to get a person to to be productive, make it very clear what his job description is and don't change it. You want somebody else do something else done, hire somebody else. But it's very very important when you give a person a job that the job description should be clear. Now you're learning in yeshiva with the job description is clear, but it's extremely complex. A, you're supposed to learn tit all day and all night. B, you're supposed to be C, you're supposed to think about another person before yourself. Those three things are three different worlds. They're not just different parts. They're conflicting. They pull you in different directions. A boy sitting and learning all day long. All day long. Yeah. And you're worried about his right. What's the word we use? I hate this word. I think it's verily overused, but you want to make sure How do you become from the gam? I'm asking you a question. How do you become from the gam? No one's sure how you become. But we all know one thing. The gum is not going to make you. Maybe the mime. Well, maybe. And most people, it's not even the it's the it's all the things that are the opposite of what a is. And you have three jobs, not two, three. Number one, you're supposed to learn Tyra in the kind of way where you can collect your mind and sit calm and watch the gears of your brain start to turn. You guys are young. You're first going to learn how to use your mind. A brain is a it's like a complicated computer. You have to learn it. So, you have to learn how to use a computer. You have to learn how to use your own mind. And over the next few years, if you work, you're going to learn your own brain. You're going to learn how to think. You're going to teach yourself how to analyze. You're going to teach yourself one of the most difficult lessons in life. How to listen to your when the person across the table is talking to you. You don't just wait for him to finish so you can tell him what you think. You listen to what he's saying. And if he's saying something different than you and you think he's right, you say, you know, I didn't think of that. You're right. You know how hard it is to do that. When you're 17 years old, when you're 18 years old, you're learning your m and you barely understand that ashi tes forget about and you're working very hard to figure it out. And you and your disagree what's the so you run to the manal. Why? Because you're arguing. Why are you arguing? Because you're both talking. and neither of you are listening. But if you could hear each other, one of you is going to say to the other, you know, I made a mistake. You take it right and you don't need them. Or you say you're at peace. He says his peace and you figure out that you're both right, but each one is talking about a different aspect. Again, you don't. So why you run down? Because you're screaming at each other. Because you don't know how to listen. It's a skill you learn by sitting here and using your mind. But you know what it takes to be a student? You have to have calm. You have to think with your head, not with your heart. It's an intellectual process. It's a brain process. It takes so much effort to learn how to learn. It's so hard to learn how to learn and you learn slowly. It's frustrating. You feel very like you're never going to be able to succeed. But if you stay the course and you try to calm down and I'm telling you, learn how to listen to your rather than just wait for him to finish. You continue your speech because then you're just screaming at each other. You're arguing with each other. You're not really working it out. You develop your mind. But then they tell you you have to have a fire. Allah for the Allah for the brain is very good to learn. But the brain is not good to decide whether Hashem is MS or T is MS. That doesn't come from the brain. It doesn't even come from the heart. It comes from the nish. And you're in a yeshiva that's expecting you in the next two, three, four, five years not to develop one of these skills to develop both of these skills at the same time to go to a and to watch. The truth of the matter is you'll become people if you see people if you see people who are older than you who are smarter than you and have simpler amuna than you understand the guy is so smart and he has no question I have question so that observation seeing such a person makes you say to yourself you know maybe there's another side maybe the brain is the answer to every question maybe there's other places where truth comes from like the like the like the like. So you're in a yeshiva which is expecting you to be a student to learn how to learn. It's expecting you to become a which is a very different kind of skill. And on top of both of those, you're an yeshiva that's expecting you to think that when I walk out of the walls of this yeshiva, my life is going to be dedicated not to me, not to my t, not even to my it's going to be dedicated to another person. So the job description of a kind is very complicated. It's so complicated that it's not fair. It's that simple. You go into a typical yeshiv any place in the world. Now inadhes g vishnit sat bells they have a problem we have same problem we have but they only have two parts not three and two is also hard. How do you raise and how do you teach a boy how to learn tighter with such precision such exactitude such such intelligence and a heart full of hashem they're contradictory that's why you must snag them have a much easier time and I don't I don't like the word mag them today they're called because they have one job to teach you when you come into a yeshiva And the only thing they expect you to learn, it's also very very hard. It's extremely hard. But at least you know your job. If you come into you have at least three jobs, maybe more. I gave you three examples because I think these are the big three components of the that you get inim. You have to learn and you have to open your head. I tell people all the time, I know this my own life. If you learn a piece of gum and you don't feel happy, if you learn a piece of gum and you don't feel happy, your push didn't understand. It's not possible to learn and get it's impossible. Why didn't you learnish? It's the biggest joke in the world. Why don't allow to be happy, right? Today they should make a rule. You have to learnish 24 hours a day you have to learn. Why? Because I hate learning, right? [laughter] You want a a really miserable put away from but brings joy. How come doesn't make me happy? Because I don't understand. I don't understand. Even what I understand, I only understand a little. As you use your mind, as you develop your ability to learn, it's a funny word to you, but it's a correct. It's going to become fun. You're going to delight in it. But that's only one part. Then there is theidist theangans. And they're not a lot to interfere with each other. It's supposed to be at the same time and on top of both of those. It's a very big challenge to learn in a lab and to be what the Reb expects us to be is a lot. It's not just a lot because it's many things. It's a lot because it's many conflicting things. A boy goes to yeshiva and he comes out very he loves hashem he loves and he didn't learn or he learned to you know here there he opened up the gumar the looked like it was dancing he didn't understand it he's a good kid he's a wonderful person but he didn't meet the full mandate of a boy goes to yeshiva and he learns and he loves it but he can't stand he can't stand the fabing and he can't stand the noise, the waste of time. Yeah, he doesn't understand this emotion. And maybe he's so smart that he even has questions. See, he did well, but he didn't meet the mandate of a boy goes into yeshiva and he learns and he learns how to d and he develops, but he doesn't have the capacity to give of himself to another person. He had a great experience in yes was wonderful but he didn't meet the mandate of because the mandate of is all of the above all three things together. That's what the expectation is. This is very hard. It's very hard. It's a hard yeshiva. A lot is expected of us. A lot is expected of us. How we supposed to do it? How are we supposed to do it? Just do your best. You're supposed to try your best. You're supposed to listen to your teachers. You're supposed to listen to your mash. Of course, in this yeshiva, like all the yeshivas, you have the and the presence of the of the that gives is a special place. You know, it says in the said once publicly chose every boy who's going to learn until Mashia comes. So if you're here, somebody very holy and somebody very smart and somebody very spiritual decided that you're material because if they didn't decide you were t material, you'd be learning in a different yes. But it is really very difficult. It is really very difficult to meet the full mandate of to go through the yeshiva and learn successfully and love the and to come out with a fire for hashem for mitzvah with no doubt and on top of both of those to come out with an attitude that my life is dedicated to helping another person. those three prongs, you know, when you're 60 years old, those three things are hard. When you're 20 years old, when you're 18 years old, when you're 22 years old, they're extremely extremely hard. This is the challenge. So, there's two parts to this. Number one, you got to know what you have to do. And number two, you have to figure out how you're going to do it. Number one, you have to understand what's atm. And I think I tried at least in the last few minutes to give you some sense of what atm is. And number two, now you have to make it happen. You know how he called? He called it whatever you're doing, there's another side. You're learning day and night. You're missing a faban. You're going to faban. You're missing an opportunity to learn and you're being pulled in these different directions. One day you go here, one day you go here, one day you go here, one day you go here. And you try to maximize, you try to complete to best of your ability your time. But there's something I need to add that I should have said in my talk that I didn't that I want to add now. And that is two parts. They used to say in talking the whole system of is built on mash on sale that you have you have teachers you have about it goes without saying but even the even the teachers when somebody in the tells you to do something you do exactly what you're told and you don't ask why you trust that number one they have your best interest in mind and number two they know what is best for you this is called mash it's called now this is a very hard thing to do because nobody trusts anybody by nature why should I trust you why do what you say not what I want but I think and it's especially hard in America because America is a free country and the nature of free country is the American freedom puts us in a place where all of us have in our DNA the famous expression that the Reb would say all the time mind your own business or as the Reb would illustrate it cynically you're making your hole on your piece of the ship in there was a mash this was hard then and it's very hard now but it's a foundational idea without the ability to trust the Reb for sure but the Reb says we do whether we understand it or not which means we keep this of and all the things that are involved in being including and if we don't have the opportunity to become to be able to incorporate all the three poles that we discussed earlier to some extent that we should be considered whole and be able to do what we need to do in the world becomes impossible the foundation of and of course there's so much resentment amongst the students who feel like their teachers are not they don't care about them and they're just pushing them around and they use cababala sale as a tool of control and so on. Now they may be right but they may also be wrong. And assuming that they're wrong, I would like to explain to you the concept practically. The concept of mashmas and bitala is the word kabala not. Too many of us see kabala sale as something that someone else is forcing us to do. When somebody else makes you do something and you do it because of them, that's not I'm not doing what I want. I'm doing what they say. And when somebody else imposes a yoke on me and I do it because of them and I don't accept it, it's unh wholesome and unsustainable. There has to be means we have to come to recognize that we know that it's in our best interest to submit. When a soldier signs up for the army, he signs up for discipline. And discipline means to listen to your superiors. Even if you're smarter than your superiors, your superior are fools. And your superiors are sending you to certain death. You listen to what the commander says. It's the foundation of every army. When you accept the instruction, when you accept the mandate, when you accept the servitude, then you're not upset and disappointed that someone else is controlling you because you've accepted to do what they say. You've accepted to have that discipline. And when you do that, you make yourself a ki for it takes time. But you'll see at the end of your yeshiva experience those tal who were able to accept the motives of their mashim and do what they were told without resentment come out to be beautiful beautiful products of those who don't listen to the mashim or listen and have resentment unfortunately their is lacking their ability to be a tom in the end becomes very complicated because they didn't have the foundation which is the ability to accept to do what they're old it's a foundational idea and kabala said when I was yeshiva there were not too many who achieved this but those who did and did it happily are the stars of today when the rebba used to write letters and speak to you come to a place and you have tus it doesn't matter whether you're right or wrong you have to listen to them it's in your best interest to listen to them even if they're 100% wrong went as far as saying that if you can't Listen, you should leave your place of don't stay there and be frustrated and be angry and be upset. If you can't have the mash necessary that needs, then go and you'll be poorer for it. And if you stay and you have the necessary mashmas, then you'll be a giant for it. Even if they were wrong and even if you had BL in the wrong place, but the bit you have and the B makes it possible to fuse those three contradictory components of and the idea of to shine a light and illuminate other people the world around ourselves. But there's another idea and this other idea is really the same idea but this how the Reb said it. We all know that in famously spoke a whole and it's printed on volume 14 which is not in the was founded and in that lengthly expose the explains what is at and the essence of the's assertion is an atom is means you put yourself aside completely or the is you have no you don't have a form whatever needs to be done you're able to do when you're supposed to do it you're supposed to learn you learn totally you're supposed to d you totally you're supposed to be mak of somebody else in yeshiva you're mad of somebody else in yeshiva totally when you're supposed to go out into the street and be mad of somebody outside yeshiva you go outside into the street and you mad of someone totally the ability to do all these different things sequentially one after the next is based on the fact that none of them are you pure and the Reb spoke at length about putting yourself aside you have no form of your own the form is whatever you need it for that's at now I've learned that I know that and the makes me feel very inadequate because that's very difficult for me to do and it's very difficult for many people to do it takes a very special kind of to actually learn based In other words, not to learn based on ego but to based to learn based on to actually but not based on your personality to d whatever that personality is but based on to actually do inside the yeshiva and outside the yeshiva but not based on the fact that you're good at it and this is your personality but based on it's extremely difficult. Most people do what they're good at even at and they should do what they're good at even at but the optimum definition and the ultimate end of a who becomes a is to reach a stage whatever I'm doing I'm not doing because I'm good at it because I like it because it's what I'm needed for and therefore there's no limits to what I could do because I'm not doing it based on my own definition and my own form I'm doing it based on but I was Yeshua very bakim very few bakim who are at that level then but as we get older and wiser and humbler the idea becomes closer to reality begin to see the the credibility of it the truth of it and the possibility for it and I want to finish this this part that I'm adding to the class to the talk with something that I read in a book there's a yid named Ashkanazi he's the son of aazi the former of and he's written many including a series of biographies on called I think called each one of his volumes is about a group of from different part of the world America, Russia, South America, Australia, Europe and so on. Each book has a lengthy introduction about 100 pages where he dedicates the book to one of his grandfathers. One is dedicated to harabashkinazi. Another one is dedicated to and so on to his various zas who were in their own right personalities but one of them is dedicated to Islam but I don't remember in one of those volumes and I forget which he shares a very close friend who would later become one of his greatest his name is Bispalov the of pavarov who was a big the big one and the big the was very close to the was older than him and I think on some level that talked to him differently than talk to others. He was there's a whole about him and that which I'm not going to get into for lack of time at the moment but they had a special relationship. He was a labav and he had children and he did not send his children to labavich and he gave the reason why because in labav you have no they take away your definition your form your strength basically it's about and he believed you have to first have and then when his children were older after they learned another yeshivas and they became somebody's lame day and so on then he sent them to But the author brings from that he was wrong. The 10's mandate form is not that first you have it and then you lose the but you have no which is even more difficult than the whole concept of but the points that we spoke about before that we argued seem so contradictory so conflicting and so impossible to incorporate into a unity the ideas that make them even theoretically possible are the two ideas that I just added idea of mashmas and which are very deep levels and I can tell you my own life I'm not holding by them at all but one of the things you have to learn as a growing human being as a growing as a growing is that we're all works in progress we live a very long time and not everything we're told to do when we're 18 can we do when we're 18 but maybe when we're 80 we can and we strive to achieve a space of so that we could be lame and with a complete delegation to another at the expense of ourselves without and I I I I think it's very very important and I stop and talk about this. Okay. I was yes a long time ago. I got married 36 years ago. So I'm married for a while. I met Yeshiva a few days. I was in yeshiva. There's no question about it. The best years of my life were my years in yeshiva. It was so wonderful, so wholesome. One of the things that Yeshiva Baham don't appreciate is time because you have so much of it. You have 24 hours a day. You have 168 hours in a week. It's a lot of time. and with the sleeping and with the eating and with the playing ball, there's so many hours in a day that we could use constructively and productively. Unfortunately, when you're young and inexperienced, it seems to you like time has no limit. Time has no bonds, has no end. Your years are limited. Your hours of a day are limited. Fill them up. Tell yourself how you're going to use your time from when you wake up in the morning till you go to sleep at night, which I don't know. That's how many hours is that, huh? Let's say 16 hours. It's probably even more than that. What are you going to do with those hours? And there's nothing wrong with exercising. It's a good thing. There's nothing wrong with taking a rest. But ultimately if you use your hours to the best of your ability, you will to some extent at least come out of yeshiva with all three of these values. Some more, some less, some will be stronger in one, some will be stronger in another. But every boy who uses his time in yeshiva responsibly and maturely will come out to one degree or another with a balance of these three ideas that I just shared with you. But there's a one point. I'm going to finish with this point. Okay? It's it's a bit contradictory. It's not a bit country. It's very contradictory. But I it's very important for you to understand this. The Rebs complained about the fact that people are learning. Do you know what the meaning of the words is? Anybody means learning for the sake of Isn't that the highest level? Isn't the highest level of learning for the sake of [clears throat] but you learn when you're an old when you're a young you don't learn when you're a young you learn this is a the says it's a rule an unbreakable rule when you start learning you don't do it for the you don't do it for the you do it for you do it yourself. Then you graduate from learning to a higher level which is called learning which means a simple thing and I this is sort of my last point and I'd like you to consider this final point. You're in yeshiva. Why are you here? What are your goals? What do you want to accomplish? Okay, don't answer this question but I want you to think about the following statement. Okay. The yeshiva in called may the yeshiva in Maran called the ferim. There were boys just a couple years older than you. 19 20 21 22 but they're bal college kids who in many cases did not grow up in from homes or as is too often the case they grew up in homes. They went away from Yiddish. Now they're on the return journey and they're learning in May. They're learning in Maran in wherever other issue they're learning in. Go over to any one of those bakim and ask them that question. Why are you here? How long are you going to stay? What do you want to accomplish? And they'll give you a clear answer. I'm staying in Shiva for this number of years. I want to learn how to learn Gamorra. I want to be able to read a gam by myself and translate it in original Aramaic without the help of I want to get and I want to know kids who were not born in our from homes homes don't go to yeshiva because what you're supposed to do they go to yeshiva is because what they choose to do so you go to a boy who's just a couple years older than you and ask him why are you here I'll tell you exactly why go over to the typical boy in this room and I I I don't know you so I can't say this with certitude ask the typical baka why are you in yesh your shiva he'll make like this like don't ask me uncomfortable questions it's a very uncomfortable question and it's even more uncomfortable that you don't know the answer you know how realistic it is if you start today you know how realistic it is by the time you get married to complete the whole shas mish the ally very realistic. Hello. But it doesn't happen because you're doing it with 10. It does happen because you have personal ambition because you set yourself a goal to achieve something great. You know how realistic it is for a boy in this by the time two years are over to have learned the entire the whole and then and then after and then it's a lot but boys do it. But they do it because they have a personal hunger. They have a personal hunger. How crazy is it for a even at your age to say at the end of every school year even every man I learned an entire safet of a whole book every single mime is 63 my or 61 if you do a mime a week a mime a week it's a little more than a year some of is hard is hard along but it's not impossible but it doesn't happen by mistake nothing happens by mistake excellence happens when you have personal ambition every boy wakes up every morning take a look in the mirror whether you should look in the mirror you shouldn't look in the mirror take a look in the mirror and say to yourself what am I going to do today for me what about the what about the answer is the tomorrow that's called today is today my day in yeshiva is that I should succeed in goals that I set for me my hunger my ambition my desire it doesn't sound and it isn't that isn't but it's how you go from point A to point B the greatest thing you have is your time The greatest gift you could give yourself is not to waste it. The greatest gift you could give yourself is value your time. And you're not going to value your time if you don't know what you want to do with it. You're only going to value your time if you make goals for yourself. Maybe you could do it with maybe. But you certainly can't do it with 10 guys. It's very personal. It's very individual. You set for yourself realistic goals and then you're hungry for it. And the guys are sitting in a fabian I'm coming in soon. I got to finish my sh. The guys are going I'm in I don't want to mess with I got to finish my I have to learn this many pages of I have to learn this many lines of I have to learn this much. These are things that are realistic and true. And if you if you have that approach they came to learn makes an enormous amount of demands of you expects you to excel in three areas that are very conflicted. The beginning of that success is saying I am responsible for me. I am in charge of me. I even though the has all these rules and have to learn this at this time and this at this time I have to go to sleep at this time at this time. all the rules within the parameters of all those rules there is space for you to say I need to do this and I'm going to do this and then eventually so in closing I just want to say any person that walks through these doors it's called you bench the kinder blessed children your kids and you have to just know you're if you work you'll succeed and you'll see and the rebel be able to say, "Okay, to all of you, I've got your your [music]