Charlie Harary - Revealing Lag B’omer

Good afternoon everybody and welcome to the lunch and learn for Lag Ba'omer. Uh it's an honor to be with you right now on a day that is really dedicated mostly towards Torah. I was on the phone yesterday with Rabbi Leavy and he was very clear that a lot of times Lag Ba'omer becomes a day of which is great, bonfires and celebrations and barbecues and we forget the real underlying point which is trying to reconnect to the sweetness and to the connection that we have towards Torah. So, I want to take a few minutes today for those wherever you are, you're watching from home, hopefully you're watching from the office, maybe you're watching a little bit later, even if you watch this after Lag Ba'omer, Torah still applies. So, the hope is that we can spend a few minutes today trying to understand what's blocking us and what did Rabbi Shimon bring into this world that we could tap into today. Many times in life we forget that whenever you're in someone's ilula, whenever you're at someone's yard site, I guess I don't understand how this works cuz I'm not that holy, but their neshama is here and you can tap into their energy very differently. And so right now wherever you are, again, whether you're seeing this on Lag Ba'omer which would be amazing, and whether you're seeing this after Lag Ba'omer which is also something good cuz it's all Rabbi Shimon, the goal for these few minutes that we have today is to be able to get us to a place in which we could understand a little bit more how to tap into the sweetness of Torah through the life of Rabbi Shimon. Okay, so let's get going. Before we begin, I want to sort of share a construct and I want you to think about this construct as we talk cuz these constructs are going to be the lenses in which we see the world. We come into this world and let's go back from the beginning. And you know, when you go into the world of Omer, you're in the world of midos. Rabbi Leavy speaks about this a lot. We actually have a new podcast and for those who are on Torah anytime, there's a new podcast called Dialing into Bnei Brak which is basically conversations that I have with Rabbi Leavy. We just did one yesterday. And he spoke a little bit about what's called baby gaiva which we're going to talk about. Baby gaiva is this idea that there is various lenses in which we could look into the world. Let's pull back. When we come into this world, we're given the greatest gift we'll ever use for the rest of our lives and that's our neshama. But for a second, I want you to think about that. Don't just like let this one be like I heard this before. Like slow it down a drop. He told me a great story of the rabbi about it's a mashal but it's important to start with this. About a guy who's living in the slums. Right? Picture if you can like some dude who's like the coolest guy in like an alleyway. And like he owns the alleyway. Right? And he knows all the apartments that got vacated by some druggy and he knows all the the drugs that got left by somebody. He knows all like the contraband and he knows which garbage you can actually use. And like in this alleyway, this guy owns the alley. He knows the cops. He's paying people off and like he's the king of the alley. And he feels amazing. And then one day, five suburbans come rolling into the alley. Two guys get out in dark suits, drag him into the back of this of one of the cars and they whisk him off. And now he gets to driven to the most beautiful neighborhood and the back top of hill is this gorgeous mansion. And he gets brought into a room and he's sitting in the room and across a long conference table is an old man who's like breathing through a machine. And he turns to me and says, "My sins I need to recall today, you are my son. I gave up gave you up when you were little. I've been watching you since you were a kid. It's complicated. I couldn't go near you. But I you're my only son and all of this and the billion dollar company that I run is yours and I got to tell you something. As smart as I am, you're smarter. You've got more potential than I have and it's going to be yours any day." And the guys drag him back into the car, put him in the backseat, take him right back to the alleys. He goes back to the alleys and they're like, "Dude, where are you? Dad, you got a There's a There's an apartment that just came free." And he's like, "What?" He's like, "No, no, no, no, no, look at these vials we found from the There's some druggy that just died." And he's like, "What? Do you have any idea like who I am? Apartments and vials? Alleys? What are you talking about?" And picture for a second. Same guy. Same alley. Same friends. Same life. What changed? He didn't get the company yet. He didn't inherit anything yet. What changed is a perspective. Somebody introduced to him that who he was was infinitely greater than anything that he had. And once that happened, he could not go back into the place that he went before. I want you for a second because in order for us to get into Rabbi Shimon into Lag Ba'omer, I want you for a second to be able to live in two different paradigms with me and put on two different glasses. And throughout this time now, we're going to read the same gemaras. So, like give me like a few extra minutes and we're going to read them together and we'll be fine. Mr. Sham. But you can't see these gemaras. You can't see the stories of Rabbi Shimon. You can't see the stories of his rebbe Rabbi Akiva. It's hard to understand what we're after in Lag Ba'omer and why as Rabbi Leavy says it is the prep, if you will, to Matan Torah, if we don't understand the lenses in which we see the world. Because me and you were born in this world with chelek Eloka mimaal which is an infinite source of connection to a bajillionaire. There's nothing in this world that can ever value infinite and we have it at birth. But we were born in nicer alleys. And depending on the alley you grew up in, somebody told you what it means to be the king of the alley. And so for some of us it's careers which is why we're at our desks right now multitasking because we can't imagine not working right now. And for some of us it's how we look which is why our closets are full and there's still nothing to wear. And for some of us it's athletics which is why we're so careful with what we eat and we're practicing again and again and again. And for some of us it's being funny which is why we can't sit in a room without telling a joke. All of us have an alley because we sense we're special and the world hasn't shown us how. So, we've created based on our environment, our background, whatever, our society, our peer pressure the rabbi says, a synthetic self. An alley. And when we put on our glasses every day, we're saying to ourselves, "I got to be the king of this alley. I got to get that next level of money. I got to walk into a room where everybody says you look good. I got to win this game. I got to get this grade." That sense of self, the synthetic self, is exhausting. That's why we're so insecure. That's why even on our great days, there's this piece of us that doesn't really feel amazing. There's something about that synthetic self that when you put on the glasses, and here's the point for today, so stay with me. Here's the point for today, Mr. Sham. When you're looking through the synthetic self, the peer construct, Torah is not that sweet. It just doesn't taste sweet. Davening is not sweet. It's important. It's valuable. I have to do it. But deep down, if we're being honest, and is there a better day than Lag Ba'omer? We're doing it because we almost made like this deal with Hashem that if I do what you want, you'll do what I want. And what I want is to win the race. I want this construct. I want this sense of self to be I want this sense of self to be maintained. That's a sense That's a glass. The other glasses that we can put on is the glasses of oh my gosh, I'm a soul. Oh my gosh, I have something inside me that is so powerful and so amazing that's beyond this world. How do I ever get it? How do I ever tap into it? How do I ever sense it? How do I ever understand it? How can I ever get to a place where I can fully understand what it means to have a soul? If I could live my life and try to understand how to get to that soul, I'm going to tap into an infinite piece of me that's going to be beyond this world. Two glasses. One glass is that says, "I got to win." As I'm talking, that part of you is going, "I got to win." You're probably even thinking like I got to get out of here already. He's going Go quicker. Go quicker. Go quicker. Go quicker. Like say it already. Say it already. Dance. Dance. Dance. Dance. I got to go quicker. Quicker. Quicker. Inspire me. Inspire. I got to I got stuff to do. I'm busy. I'm doing. I'm moving. I got to go. I got an alley to be the king of. Whatever my alley is. And there's a sense of self that says, "My identity is actually this this thing inside me called a soul." What does that even mean? If I can find that in my life, I'm not going to win the alley. Alley? I'm going to get the billions. But how do I do that? Like how do I even do that? But whatever I'll take, I'm not going to I'm not going to die without trying. And I want you to understand, and this is for me too, cuz I don't I I live in I live in the regular world. I'm a dude. I'm not unholy. Those are two different glasses that we're wearing. And the hope, as the Rebbe says, middos is if you if you can think about it, if you really understand what middos are, middos are really how we act based on the glasses we are wearing. Because if you wear the glasses of my identity is this world, you really are living the world of gaiva, which means there's me and there's Hashem. If you live in this world, you can have the world. Sure, we live in this world, but you don't become the world. And now your middah is anavah, cuz I'm one with Hashem. Omer is the manifestation of those two realities. It manifests in middos. It manifests in how I see you. Why? Because if you're here and I am interconnecting with you, and I have my alleyway, and you have yours, and I'm fighting with you deep down, that deep down middah is going to manifest in something. But at the end of the day, the Omer is where I have my middos, it comes back to this one perspective. Is my life's goal to try to win the alley and be the king, or is my life's goal to try to find Hashem and find my neshama? With that as a background, now we can understand Lag Baomer. Because what Lag Baomer really is is the story of an individual who actually came from an individual who lived his life with such clarity that when we even get close [clears throat] to him, it makes us feel like there's something more to us. It's an amazing thing. Rebbi Shimon passed away in fire. Fire is connected to the soul. Right? Cuz the neshama is connected to fire. Rebbi Shimon, who is the man of fire, if you notice, people from all over the world just seem to somehow find him and connect to him, and they just want to be close to Rebbi Shimon. It's like it's unbelievable unif- Why? Because when you just even say his name, when you just get close to the mountain, when you just get close to Lag Baomer, there's this overarching feeling that you want to be connected. And here's where I think a lot of In my opinion, people make a mistake. They think that the reason why they are close to Rebbi Shimon is because everybody is accepted. Of course everyone's accepted, but we live in a world of like either someone says you're not enough, or someone says you are enough. But I think there's something in between. And that's what we're going to talk about. So here's what we're going to do today. Just for a few minutes, lunch and learn, we're not doing this for too long. We're actually going to look at the Gemara, and we're going to read it together. And through the Gemara, we're going to be able to, I hope, which is the main story of Rebbi Shimon, I think we'll be able to see a little bit about what he was getting at, who he was, and what lessons we can derive from the Gemara that you may know already, and then hopefully we're going to connect to his Rebbe, Rebbi Akiva, and we're going to call it a day. But remember, as you watch as you're listening to this, you have to listen by seeing two lenses. And you got to tell yourself, as you're hearing the story, how does it sound to me as a person who's looking through the lens of my synthetic self, the I want to win, this world defines me, and how does this story sound to the person who's looking through the spiritual self? I'm a soul, and I got to figure out what this soul is. I don't care what it takes. If I can tap into the billions, I'm in. How does this work? Okay? Let's do this. The story is in Shabbos 33b, Lamed Gimel. Lamed Gimel, Lag. Stick with me. It may be a little slow cuz I'm going to read in Hebrew, but please, we got to do this right. It's just a few minutes. It's like it's it's just a few minutes. The yahtzei Rebbi Yehudah, Rebbi Yosi, Rebbi Shimon. So Rebbi Yehudah, Rebbi Yosi, Rebbi Shimon, these are three of the people that accepted the mesorah from what I understand of of Rebbi Akiva. He wasn't speaking in public. He's talking with the people that are the Tana'im. These are his his close friends. V'yeitzei Rebbi Yehudah ben Gerim gam bayom. There's a man named Yehudah ben Gerim that was sitting next to them. Patach Rebbi Yehudah v'omer, "Kammah na'im ma'aseihem shel ummah zeh." They were living in the Roman persecution. So they're living in Israel, in Judea. And around them are Romans. And the Romans came in, remember this is post-destruction of the Second Temple, destroyed the place, and they rebuilt the place. So there is now marketplaces, and there's roads, and there's bathhouses. It's a regular Roman metropolis. Just happens to be in Israel, in in in in Judea. And the Rebbe is saying, "They did pretty well. They built bridges, and they created bathhouses, and they did all these wonderful things." So he just, I guess, opens by complimenting the Roman government. Rebbi Yosi was sitting there, and he just kept quiet. Rebbi Shimon gets up and Rebbi Shimon Rebbi Yochai says, "Kammah ma'aseihem shel ummah zeh, ela l'tzorcheihem atzmam." What are you talking about? He didn't say it that was What? You're praising them? You think they did this for us? They made marketplaces for their terribleness. They created bathhouses to beautify their bodies, and they built bridges to collect tolls. Like, really? You think they came in and like, "Wow, how can I hook up the Jews? Let me make bridges for them." This is all for them. They're This isn't We don't This is They did it for themselves. A knock on the Roman authorities. Halachah Rebbi Yehudah ben Gerim v'sipper divreihem. So before we go on, I want to begin this process now, cuz this is what we're doing this for. Rebbi Shimon begins with the following line, and this is so critical. We're beginning to meet Rebbi Shimon. The first thing we meet him, right here, in the story that is the famous story, what's the first thing that comes across? He's sitting with friends, and he's a man of truth. He doesn't just take it. When someone says something Rebbi Rebbi says, he asks if it's wrong, it's wrong. We live in our lives, and when many times when we live in our lives, we just someone says something and it's wrong. And we know it's wrong. And we just take it. We just We don't defend Hashem. We don't defend what's right. We don't say what we believe to be true because we're worried that if we say it, maybe someone's not I'm like This is how I am. When you live with your soul, he's not publicizing. These are his closest friends. When you live with your soul, you're beginning to see the character develop. His name is Rebbi Shimon bar Yochai. We did We just met him. But the character that I want you to see on the page today, right now, on his yahrtzeit, is a man of truth. He's a man of truth. Yeah, he knows he's living in the Roman persecution, and he knows if someone hears him, he can be in trouble, and he didn't do do it himself, and he didn't go out there and did it He didn't proactively go out there and create campaigns against the Romans, but if somebody gets up and says the wrong thing, you can't let it sit. When we're sitting around with our friends and our families, and people sometimes say things that are halachically they're not appropriate. Do we think? Do we wonder? Do we try to correct them? Do we care? Do we care about truth? The glasses of finding Hashem, you care. Yehudah ben Gerim went and told somebody who told somebody, and ultimately got to the authorities, which is a great reminder that your words matter. Can you imagine Rebbi Yehudah ben Gerim, he just told the guy, and that led to Rebbi Shimon bar Yochai being sentenced to execution. Can you imagine? Let me tell you something. In our lives, God forbid, we sometimes just say stuff. We have no idea that when you said it to this person, they happened to talk to that person, talk to that person, you can get to shamayim if they're 120 and find out that this shalom bayis thing that you had not even connected to was somehow because I I once sat at a business deal once to a guy who's trying to really like rebuild himself up, and I I was sitting with an investor who was about to help another Jew. It was an amazing moment. It was like a yeshiva. And it was about to happen, and a third guy walks into the meeting and trashes the guy. Not even Not even connected to him. He just trashes him. The investor got up and walked out. I'm thinking to myself, do you have any idea? Like, you just said that? This guy's life, his shalom bayis. Who knows? His kids' learning. Who Who knows all the stuff that's going to happen now? This deal fell apart because you just spoke. Think of the opposite now. You encourage somebody. You teach somebody. You say the truth somewhere where it's a little uncomfortable, but you say it in a way that people can accept. You can get to shamayim. There may be palaces that you build. This is the story. Rebbi Yehudah ben Gerim says, "One, one, one." What happened? The authorities find out. Rebbi Yehudah The person who speaks Rebbi Yehudah gets praised. Rebbi Yosi gets sent to Tzipori cuz he said to keep quiet. And Rebbi Shimon is sentenced to exile. We all know the story. Just stick with me, though. Cuz I want you to see it this way. Okay. What happens? He goes to the Beis Medrash, and his wife brings him food. But he says to himself, "What's going to happen when the authorities come in and torture, God forbid, his wife? If she knows where he is, she could It's going to be a disaster." So he gets up with his son, and him and his son, Rebbi Elazar, go, and they run away. They find a hill, they find a mountain, they find a cave, and in the cave they live. Uh Az and his son, they live they go hide in a cave. What happens as they get there is there's a miracle. What's the miracle? That a carob tree and a spring open up right in front of them, which is an amazing miracle cuz carob trees need 70 years. It wasn't like a tree that that you need like a week for. A 70-year tree pops up out of nowhere. He gets the sign from Hashem, I got your back. They walk into the cave, they take off their clothes, and they start to learn. Thinking to themselves that when you take off your clothes, you'll preserve the clothes, we'll learn in our under the the the the sand, and then we'll come up, and that's what they did. And they came up to dive in, they put their clothes on, and they dive in. And the first question that we should be asking ourselves is, wait a second. You just walked in, there was a tree that just came out of nowhere and a brook, and you're worried that the Hashem's not going to let your clothes go away? And then when when the Jews came out of the midbar, the clothes stayed for 40 years. The miracle to create a tree, but keep your clothes around for a little longer, that's too hard for Hashem? And the answer he always says is, the answer is, if you're an anav, if you're humble, you're never relying on a miracle. If miracle comes, you're in, but you don't rely on it. You see people all the time. They're sitting around and like they decide they want to start to dive in more. So, what do they do? They turn to Hashem and go, okay, if you want me to dive in, then here's the deal. I'm going to dive in, but I want you to make sure that I get this business deal. And like I can almost imagine being like, are you serious? Reb Shimon is a man of truth. Man of anavah. When you're a man of truth, you don't expect Hashem to change the world for you. When we when we engage in Judaism, and the first thing that we do when we do is as we're engaging in Judaism, we're already waiting for the amazon.god prime packages to arrive. It shows that we're not really looking for the relationship. We're looking for the stuff. Reb Shimon sitting here with his son, and him and his son are sitting around, and they're literally living within miracles. And in the miracles they're living in, they're still not taking it for granted. They take off their clothes, and they stay there, and they learn. It took 12 years, they spent 12 years in the cave. They come out, and when they come out, Reb Elazar and Reb Shimon say it's time to come out. When they come out, what happens? They go out, and they go out, and they go They go out, and they go out, and they go out, and they go out, and they go out, and they go out, and they go out, and they that are working. Reb Elazar and Reb Shimon, they're looking at them and they're saying, are you serious? They're looking at them and they're saying, are you serious? You're passing up the chance to learn Torah to work? Every place that they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, Yes, the basket of Amram and his son, they go out, they go out, they go out, they go out, Go back to the marava. They stay another year, and they haven't they decide to leave, and a heavenly voice comes out and says, go out from the marava. Go out from the marava. Okay. They go out. Everywhere Elazar looks, he destroys. Reb Elazar Reb Shimon starts to heal people, and then it ends by them seeing somebody running with a hadasim. And when he runs with hadasim, he goes, what are you doing? And he goes, I have two hadasim for zachor and shamor. And he says, Here's the question, and here's the the point of this whole piece. So, here's the question, and here's the the point of this whole piece. When me and you hear this piece, what's the first thing you think? Reb Shimon walks in, he's in a cave for 12 years, he comes out, guys are working, and he burns them. Hashem says, back into the cave. He goes back into the cave, he comes out another year, Elazar still burning, and he's healing. And then he sees a guy with two myrtle branches, and he goes, what are you thinking right now? What are you thinking right now? What are you thinking? I can go work. Like, this is proof. You see? Like, I knew the cave thing wasn't right, but clearly Hashem's like, listen, this is the call of life. We got to go out to work. But are we saying that from the soul glasses, or we saying that from the synthetic glasses? What's going on here? Reb Shimon is living a regular life. He was an amazing tzaddik. He was massive. He was the talmid of Rebbi Akiva. He wasn't a student. And as a talmid of Rebbi Akiva, he was able to come out, and when he came out, he was a regular guy. When he walked the streets before he walked into the cave, he wasn't he wasn't zapping people. So, what happened? What happened was the 12 years in a cave breaks the construct of the synthetic. You see, the story, in my opinion, really is it's a lot of things. But one way me and you need to look at the story is the following. Maybe the reason why he was so shocked that people were working was because for 12 years he was able to break out of the alleys that he was in. There's no synthetic in a cave. There's no there's no community where you're competing in a cave. There's no one that's looking at you and saying you look great in a cave. There's nobody you're not competing in a game or in a grade. You're not worried about what's going to be in a cave. Here's an individual who spent time taking the synthetic self and breaking it. And when you break that synthetic self, what happens is you look over to what's really there. You as a soul, you as a piece of Hashem, the Torah as a pathway to how a human could connect to Hashem. As it says in the Maharal, Torah is seichel eloki. The story really is that a man who was an incredible tzaddik broke the synthetic self. And after years of living without anyone else telling him who he is and who he isn't, without any competition, he looks out into the world, and he sees it so clearly. He's so aghast. He's so shocked that the world is willing to spend time buying and selling, surviving, that he can't even believe it. Okay, you can't live this way. Hashem's got to make him back into the Hashem's got to bring him back into the world. But what happens to me and you so many times, and you know this is true, because you know in your life that there are moments in your life where you go into a cave, and you come out, and you are just shocked that there are people around you that are not in your cave. I just saw this recently. I heard somebody say the following line, listen to this. He said to I heard somebody say, if you don't keep Shabbos, you think keeping Shabbos is insane. It's insane. Speak to someone who doesn't keep Shabbos and say, I need you to keep Shabbos. They're like, you're nuts. If you keep Shabbos, you think not keeping Shabbos is insane. How could that be? We're not talking about like a tzaddik in Meisharim and a guy in the middle of nowhere. Two people sitting at two desks in in corporate America, in Manhattan, this week. Two guys next to each other. They're both working in the same department, same school, same job, same everything. One guy keeps Shabbos all life, one guy never does. Jews. This guy goes, I want to keep Shabbos. He goes, you're insane. This guy goes, you don't want to keep Shabbos. He goes, you're insane. How's that possible? Because this guy walked into a cave. It's a cave called Shabbos. And that cave is a cave that he's able to touch a piece of himself that he can't touch during the week. And once he walked into that cave, this guy looks like he's crazy. You're giving up chayei olam haba on Shabbos for chayei sha? The guy's going, what? The question is not whether Rebbi Shimon thought people were crazy. The question is what kind of cave do we have to go into to make sure that when we walk out of it, we feel that this world around us and the construct that we're building is more and more and more insane. That's the point. Reb Shimon becomes Reb Shimon because he sits in a cave. Because he's able to look at these glasses called the the society around us, and for a period of time in his life, he's able to say, what am I doing? Do I really need it? Where where can I find my true purpose? And me and you are sitting around a Lag BaOmer, and we're wondering to ourselves, why do I not feel the same sweetness as Reb Shimon? I would never walk out of a cave and think that working is an important Well, why? Why? Of course working is okay, I work. Of course you have to work. But it's that sweetness to be in the cave. When I go to learn once a day, am I in a cave? When I have time in a class, am I in a cave? When the day's over with my family, is it a cave? Do I have times in my life where I leave the world and go into a place called Torah Hashem and I live there? Is there ever a point in my life where when I walk places, I don't bring the world with me? Cuz if there isn't, I can never ever feel what it's like to come out of a cave >> [snorts] >> and look at the world and go, "You guys are insane." We do this so many times, but we don't articulate it. For the guys that go in the middle of the day to daven Mincha and for a few minutes a day close their eyes and reorient themselves, they're in a cave. For the people that have a seder, for the women that are going to a class, for the families that know what it's like to sit together without the world inside them, for those who learn how to wake up early, for the people that are building many caves in their lives and they're holding those caves strong, they walk into those caves and they come out and the world seems insane. And the question for us on Rebbe Shimon bar Yochai's yardzeit is not, I told you we can work. The question is, have I been able to tap into my true self? And if not, maybe it's because my cave isn't big enough. Can you imagine on Rebbe Shimon's day, right now as I'm talking to you, as I'm speaking to you, can you imagine as I'm talking to you, you think of your schedule, like think of your day and say to yourself, "Can I find more pieces of my day that can become a cave?" Can you imagine if you can turn around to your day and say, "Wait, the thing that I already give to Hashem is really filled with the world around me." Cuz if we could, what will happen is, we'll look out into the world and go, "Man, what I have on the inside is so much more vibrant than what's on the outside." Watch what happens next. We're almost done. Stick with me for a few more minutes. It's a lunch and learn, I get it. We got to go back to work. Just give me a few more minutes. Watch what happens next. Rebbe Shimon leaves. And when he leaves, he sees his son-in-law Rebbe Pinchas ben Yair. Nafuk la'apei, he greets him. Al ya le le le le ve vani, my friend Yoni Haner just showed this to me. This is great. He escorts him to the bathhouse. Have e kavei areich lei le bisrei, he was massaging his flesh. Chazei de havei bei paleig begufei, he saw there were cracks in his flesh. Why? Cuz he spent his whole time in sand. His skin, 12 years in sand, your skin gets eroded. Havei kavei bachi, and as he was seeing it, he was crying because he saw his father-in-law with his back filled with these scabs. And his tears have salt and they were falling into these cracks and Rebbe Shimon was screaming. Ve ka natru dim'aseinei, and they were and they were and the the the the tears are coming out. Kamatz delai, and they fell into the cracks. Omer, "Oy li she ra isuk bechach." I'm so so woe is to me that I see you this way. Omer lo, and he says back to him, "Ashrecha ashrecha isani bechach." Are you kidding me? Woe is to you? Fortune is that you see me like this. And here's the line. Shelo matzei lora is re re sani bechach, I do not see me this way. Lo matzasi bechach, you wouldn't have found me this way. And here's the game. Me and you choose every day what's going to be my day. Am I going to be looking to build my synthetic, my alley? I got to work. I got to got to got to got to got to get it. And that's my day. There's a lot of ways to tell. Here's a good one. When you close your eyes to daven, you're in your day. And when you're in your day, you're not thinking about your davening. That's a great indication. Here's another one. When you're worried about something that's not health, you're worried about the things that is yourself. So if you're freaking out over the fact that this didn't work out your way, usually the worry and the panic that's not sense of security is coming because your self is being shaken. If you're worried that you may have violated a halacha, then you're in the world of a soul. If you're worried that maybe this thing that I look like won't happen, then you know you're in the construct land. We come out of this day and you can tell something amazing. Rebbe Shimon is coming and saying, "Listen to me. I'm in the cave for 12 years and I come out and my body, my flesh is filled with cracks. And when I go back into this world and people see those cracks and it hurts me that they see those cracks. The reason why it hurts me is because they feel bad for me. And I'm telling you, Rebbe Shimon is saying, "You have no idea how lucky I am that I sacrificed my day, my money, my time, my flesh, my gashmi to become ruchni. My glasses are clear. Had you not found me this way, had you not had you not found me this way, you Had Had I not been this way, you wouldn't have found me this way. I'm not sure if this is Fire alarm just went off. Can you hear me? Okay, maybe we should just end here. This is the key piece. For those who are listening online, the fire alarm just went off here, so that's the background noise. Baruch Hashem. Speaking about fire, Rebbe Shimon. I don't know if you can hear or not, but I'll just keep on going. >> [snorts] >> The key piece Ah, baruch Hashem. You know what's amazing about a fire alarm for those who are watching? You don't appreciate quiet until a fire alarm goes off. You know what I mean? Once a fire alarm goes off, you're like, "Oh my god, I can't." And then it gets quiet again. So for those who hadn't didn't hear it, you can thank the mics. The goal of Rebbe Shimon, the goal of of of of of Lag BaOmer is that moment. That moment where we're one man. And by the way, he never changed. Later on the Gemaras, it says that he says that many people tried to be like Rebbe Shimon, which is to sit all day in learning and it didn't work for them. Because that's what the Gemara is telling us. You don't have to Not everyone can do this. It's not about doing it. It's about wanting it. That's the goal of Lag BaOmer. The goal of really we we not just He just explained it to me yesterday and this is the key. The goal of Lag BaOmer is not to become Rebbe Shimon. Who's going to become Rebbe Shimon? The goal of Lag BaOmer is to want to become Rebbe Shimon. Is to want to touch that which he saw in that cave. Because from the cave he came out. And from when he came out of that cave until the end of his life, it was fire. It was It was a different world. It was pnimiyus. He saw the world from the inside. So where did he get this from? And then I'll This is where I'll I'll end. Where did he get this from? It didn't come from nowhere. It came from one of the greatest men to ever walk the face of this earth. And his name was Rebbe Akiva. Rebbe Akiva was his rebbe. Rebbe Akiva was the one who was a shepherd that for the first 40 years of his life, obviously Rebbe Nosson says he didn't know Torah. And one day he sees the water dripping and he realizes that if water can burrow a hole into rock, then Torah, which is like like iron, Torah can take you and and and change your flesh. And what he realizes in that moment is what? That he wanted so badly to tap into the ruchniyus. He wanted so badly to tap into that which is going to make him holier, but he didn't know how. And he realized at the moment that what the Torah can do is that the Torah can be the bridge that takes us from a life of seeing it through the self to a life of seeing it through the soul. He sees it all the time. I got friends of mine who aren't that connected. They're not. And for whatever reason, they go to like the Siyum HaShas and they get like inspired and they take upon themselves like Daf Yomi. And every day they're learning the daf, but they don't even know how to learn. They're connected to Torah, they just change. It's like an amazing thing. People that connect Torah, something happens. Something goes on in the hearts and in the gashmius. Something goes on in that flesh of ours and we start to learn that starts to soften us and starts to change these glasses from being so focused on the alley to being focused more on that soul. And the story right now is the story of Rebbe Akiva and this is how I'll end cuz Rebbe Akiva said there's something else that goes on this day that's very important. So you remember the story of the Omer. Rebbe Akiva, the Gemara says in the Gemara, Rebbe Akiva had 12,000 pairs of students. And during this period of time, they started to die. Why? Cuz they were not noheg kavod ze lazeh. I see in the bottom of the ArtScroll something amazing. He quotes the Sifsei Chaim who says something amazing. Cuz you know why they started to die for? Because what they were worried about was that they had, I guess, some level of they weren't able to see the other person win. Cuz even in Torah, if you're doing it for competition, it's not penetrating. And on the 33rd day they stopped. But something great happened also on Lag B'Omer. The Gemara says that when they died, the world was desolate. Think about 24,000 students that were supposed to be the carriers of the tradition of the mesorah that was going to take over the whole world. 24,000. And when they died, there was nobody left. A human being after being the man who just be basically unlearning until 40, and then to spend years in learning, and then years in teaching, and then raising up an army of students. Rebbe Akiva at the end of his life should have been the one man to say, "I'm done. I get it. It's over. The alleyway is destroyed." The Gemara says that Rebbe Akiva gets up and he takes five more students. And these five of the students, Rebbe Meir, Rebbe Yehuda, Rebbe Yossi, Rebbe Shimon who's here, the story we listed beforehand, Rebbe Elazar, these five students are the ones that pass on the mesorah to the world. We're here today because of these five students. And Lag B'Omer remembers the day that Rebbe Akiva gave them smicha. Rebbe Over the Lag B'Omer remembers the day that Rebbe Akiva passed on the tradition. Do you know why? Because Rebbe Akiva understood that the ability for a human being to overcome the world around them is so critical for the soul to be passed to the next generation. That's what it means to be a Jew. There's nothing that blocks us. Nothing that gets in our way. Rebbe Akiva understood from the beginning of time that he's a soul, not a body. He can't be brought down. It's never over. It's never going to be done. That's why Rebbe Akiva was able to penetrate and learn every little os, cuz he understood the penimius of everything. Cuz that's what this day is about. And as you sit here on this day, you have the opportunity, me and you, whenever you hear this, you have the opportunity today and every single day to be able to make a decision. And the decision that we have to make together, in a world like the world we have right now, is a decision of whether or not our lives are going to be created through the world of the lenses of the alley, of the construct. In that world, you would never walk into a cave for Hashem. In that world, it doesn't feel like fire. Torah feels like sand. In that world, when you get knocked down at the end of your years, you go down. In that world, you don't pass on to other people because you want it for yourself. In that world, you're so focused on how how people look at you that you're not able to even think for a second that I wouldn't spend my entire day accumulating. That's the world that we grew up in. That's the world that I live in. But today, and whenever you hear this afterwards, there's a moment where you could be a little bit like Rebbe Shimon. That's the lesson. On the day of his yahrtzeit, the day that he we remember him, we got to remember him for who he was, a man of truth, a man that lived in a cave and recognized in the cave that there's something bigger than this world. And when he touched it, the sweetness, the fire was so engaging that when he left the cave, he could not believe, "They're insane." Now, you don't say it, as we learned in the Gemara, but a Jew needs to look at the world and go, "I think everyone's crazy. Why are they not all running to pursue a spiritual life?" That feeling of I think everyone's nuts. Again, we learned in the Gemara, you got to say it right. But the feeling that I have something that is hidden and that is real, and the world that's telling me that it's not is crazy, is the feeling of Rebbe Shimon. That's the feeling of living your life with lenses that are different than the lenses of the world. That's the feeling of Rebbe Akiva that passes on to his students. Vi'ahavta l'rei'acha kamocha. It's we're just one. It looks like we're competing. It's cuz your perspective is living in the wrong construct. There's no competition in the world of soul. You can never go down in the world of soul. You're never too old in the world of soul. No one ever can compete with you in the world of soul. And Rebbe Whenever Rebbe Akiva was leaving this world, and the Gemara says they went to him and they said, "We'll save you from the jail." He says, "Save me from the jail. My whole life I was waiting for the moment to give Hashem my body, v'chol nafsh'cha." How could he do that? Because his whole life he was a soul. Listen, we're living in an incredible time. But there are moments and times that Rebbe says you can tap into something special. As we're preparing ourselves for matan Torah, we have to ask ourselves, do we want to be the kli, the vessel, for something special? And if we Wherever you are in life, whatever rung you're in, whatever rung you're in right now, if each of us can tell ourselves, "I just want to reach to the next rung up. I want to build a cave to take me to the next rung up. I want to get out of this construct and go to the next rung up. Maybe we'll be able to tap into the energy of Rebbe Shimon and use his power to get us to a level in which we could see the world through the lenses of Torah, the lenses of Hashem, and the lenses of our soul.