Challah Baking & Candle Lighting - Mrs. Chana Silver

okay hi good afternoon everybody I just want to introduce myself my name is Hana silver and i hailed from Memphis Tennessee I teach it a bunch of places here in Israel and do a lot of outreach here as well and i also have been involved in doing bunches of things in the states go on the speaking tour in the summer and I speak in a number of places from very religious women to everything in between down to people who are not yet religious etc and I'm involved in many trips to Poland this year we'll actually be my 13th time going to Poland which is really very exciting and i'm all about that trip anyway that's just a couple of things that i do and so i'm here today to speak to you we're going to talk about some of the women's side of things in terms of some foundational ideas ultimately leading to the concept we're going to speak today about the mitzvot of lighting candles at la casa de rose but i want to give some foundational ideas in terms of women in general and it's very it's a very special thing because ultimately we're going to end up talking about the other two very special women's mitzvahs which is a concept of taking kala and also the concept of family purity and it happens to be that the the essence of these mitzvahs really are the essence of who we are as women there's a lot of different things that obviously were involved in as Jewish women but the bottom line is there's really these three mitzvahs specifically encapsulate very much the concept and many elements of really really who we are I want to start out with the idea in terms of women as we know there are three types of knowledge and so with clough mabini and das and so just go into those for just a moment so huffman is really it's a general search for knowledge in other words men and women have this equally and clough ma the morale tells us is really weird jumbled it introduces the concept of koakuma what is it other words whenever we have this innate search for learning and trying to understand something so it's the concept of hustla what I want to understand all about it and so men and women have this equally that's innate search for learning the second concept is that has beena us we're going to go into in terms of women gasp for at the moment i'll just talk about it briefly so das is more the idea of cold calculated facts and details and as clough might ask the question like what so peanut excuse me that ass ask the question what kind how many it's very specific it's puzzle pieces things have to be problem solved and we have this as well obviously with us but that's not our prevalent concept the prevalent concept that we have is the concept of bina which probably many of you know elements about I'm just going to talk about it for a few moments and so we have an extra helping of veena there's a mattress that comes from Bray shish and genesis and it tells us that it says they even ash mlo Kim assets ella that God built up this seller whatever the seller was some people say a rib some people say aside and so the idea Baptists ella is that in the meddra sh it speaks about the content that i shall gave us and effort extra helping of avena and so what is Venus apenas lots of things and the truth is this whole topic in terms of women and our co-host all of our strengths and who we are and what we stand for it's huge and we could really talk for very long time many classes all about and I'm trying to just again encapsulate it into some very key issues so the idea of veena the women's the secular world the Western world tells us that it's women's intuition we've all heard about that idea of women's intuition and the truth is they're getting it from us it's true it is about the idea of women's intuition but it's much much more in other words the secular world the Western world they sell us short because bina as many more things the source some of the sources talk about the idea that veena if the idea of mavin dove army told of our that the to translate that to learn some one thing from another in our modern day terms it's the idea of deductive reasoning to deduce is that I see something in front of me and I deduce things that are connected to it that came before it and came at and after it be now connects the dots as we say that B nos the same word is bona in other words so we're vena means many things but in other words the idea is that we built a bone at to Bill one thing to the next one fact to the next till we can actually connect the dots and and so being us about connections veena is connected to emotions bina is connected to nurturing bina is connected to giving and so it's so again this whole concept of in terms of who we are as women so this is very much what we're all about a lot of these ideas we have these feelings these strengths we have within us and it's important to understand what being instantly can bring it out and we can make it bigger and so what we're altima tlie going to see is that these three main miss folks of women actually very much evolved the concept of veena and so we're going to be talking about that I have to just share a very quick story with you that which is just very very funny and so a lot of times in Kira so if I'm teaching classes teaching a mixed class college kids or whatever it is and I'm discussing these ideas in terms of men and women and men's rural women's were all lies different things so talking about the idea that we you know we are the very much element of veena and that matter very much this task cold calculated puzzle pieces got a problem solve all these kind of things so i'll be talking to the group and i'll say okay here's a scenario you see a girl crying hysterically okay girls be quiet for just a moment guys what's your reaction and so the guys say stop her from crying like to stop her we don't want to see her crying to stop her right problem solve it just stop her I'm like perfect perfect okay guys be quiet girls what's your reaction why is she crying what just happened right and it's just amazing in other words that's really how it is we want to get into the inside of it so we can understand what preceded it so that we can connect it and helped her and it's just that I mean it's really fascinating I've done this a number of times and like this is really always the reaction it's just I believe we think differently in terms of men and women and and so it's a that's a fascinating thing in other words bina enters we could enter person's reality from the inside we're very good at building people were very good at building relationships and again this is going to tie into a lot of the ideas that we're going to speak about and so that's one prelude to the three missiles and another prelude is in the deeper hash gafas the Maharajah bout the idea that that first of all started off with the world so the world he says was created Rashi actually aberration says that the world was created with the letter hey and and that Olam haba the next world the world to come well we came from the word we're going to the spiritual world was created with the letter U and so the larger concept before we introduce that back into women so the larger concept is is that women I'm sorry that the letter hey is really combination of two letters it's the letter dalit and the letter U in other words we write it in the Torah that's actually how it looks it's specifically a dollar is it this way this way salad and um I was getting mixed up what I'm you're facing me this way say anyway salad okay whatever it is anyway and and the letter yet so the dot the letter dollars morale tells us is the concept of the physical world in other words spreading out in the material world because if those two is there two straight lines and so if the the horizontal line would spread out it would continue to go out into oblivion and the vertical line would continue to go out in oblivion and the concept of physical things physical things are tangible physical things take up space so the letter dahlin if it would spread out it takes up a lot of it would take up a lot of space so it represents the world of the physical the letter yud represents the world of the spiritual it's actually interesting because it's the smallest letter of the olive phase in other words it takes up the least physical space which is fascinating and aside from in the letter hey the letter yud is always written at the top of the line it's always reaching up to the higher spiritual realms which is fascinating the letter you'd also represents our own spiritual but the concept of the world of the future the worlds of creativity the world of thought the world of ideas in other words these things exist but they're not tangible yet they haven't happened in other words if you could just picture let's say the concept of the word Oh set right he is doing you put a you it in the front of it he will do right he hasn't done yet he's thinking about doing it doesn't exist yet in other words it's still in the realm of the future it's not tangible so let our dogs very tangible very physical in the worlds of this like the reality as we know at the letter you it is spiritual but it's also the world of the future okay so that's so that makes sense in terms of this world in general before we go back into the concept of women is it idea is that this world of course is created with a letter hey because at what we know as thinking Jews is that we live very much in the world of dollars its physical reality we're physical bodies physical chairs physical everything and yet a Jew understands and what we try to go for is that there's a dual this duality in other words jus wants to live in the physical world and then reach for the spiritual it's actually it's very interesting and a lot of the work that I do with Caravan things so but it's funny it's a funny kind of idea but you get asked certain questions about specific things that I find often are the questions just but so fast anything so many times people will ask me again people who are not yet religious and they'll say you know the last if you could just somehow put it to one sentence the concept of what does it mean to be a Jew right what is that which is hard that's a hard thing to do because like it's just our whole life right it's everything life and breath reality for us but I think I've come up with an answer which is actually connected to what we're saying is that what we do in Judaism is that we take the physical and we use it to access the spiritual I think that actually doesn't capsulate really everything we take the physical may use it to access the spiritual in other words we take a very expensive beautiful sterling silver kiddush cup and we put very physical wine that was that comes from grapes grown from the ground all very physical reality and then we we make kiddush we make a bracha we're at a princess circumcision and its holy we are drinking the four cups at pesach on Passover right in other words it's just everything we take that physical and we use it to access the spiritual that's really the concept of all the commandment that's really everything that we're doing if you'll think about it as you go through your day you're using physical things and your your it's you're accessing the spiritual by actually tapping into the physical same thing let's say with an apple is that I'm very hungry I want to feed my physical body and i'm gonna eat my physical apple and i make a bracha i make a blessing and I bring the whole thing just absolutely right up and I've just created a piece of eternity by that one blessing and so that's really what it's all about and so that's that's the concept so of course the world was created with the letter hey that makes perfect sense we utilize the world and and we utilize it to actually access the spiritual unlike let's say some of the Eastern religions where they have to push away all the physical and they have to sit you know on like top of Mount naga Parbat and they have to be at a lotus position and they have to push away the physical so this spiritual can come in no no we literally utilize the physical with the spiritual and that's how we tap into eternity and it's really awesome and again these myths posts are so going to connect to this idea okay so but but that's the world at large and that's us Jews at large and I'll even venture to say that that's us as human beings at large men and women together we are of course a mixture of hey because we have a very physical goof it's the Dalit and we have very much a piece of God as that's our soul that's something totally spiritual and eternal that's our batteries it really makes us tick so to speak and so the whole all human beings are definitely a microcosm of this concept of the letter hey but we as women in particular are very much this element and that's that's very much the idea that in the deeper hash gafas it talks very very many times about the idea that women are the letter hey and men are the letter yud and so i want to focus on the element of the heinous for us and it's fascinating in other words as women so we are terrific letter haze how does that work so our larger letter is a dollar right it's what if that's actually very large right and so that's the world of the physical and and so we're really really good at it you know I'll tell you it's interesting so you know sometimes we're at like a wedding right so I pick on the other side occasionally here they're on the men's side right and so what do you see what do you see well you see a lot of black a lot of white okay sometimes a little manifestation and then the tie and the socks a little bit with men just a little bit anyway so then you turn right around right to the women's side and so first I'll just tell you the joke and what do you see well you see a lot of black ok now the jokes over anyway it's mildly funny glad anyway but then what happens is you see color style makeup jewelry hair fabric shoes nails right everything going on so we are so good and manifesting in the world of dalit not we're actually really good at it why is it that we as women well you know I think you were doing you know be doing our house we doing our apartment like why does the captive have to match the couch have to match the carpet right and exactly that little piece of tiling in the bathroom it's got to match everything why because we're really good at the world of Dodd right but the trick of a woman and again we could speak about this any way that you can talk about anything to do with women and Judaism it's always going to go back to this letter the concept of this letter hey and so the idea is is that we're supposed to manifest we have something to express in the world we're very very good at it in terms of making things real making things tangible and and really carrying things out in the physical world but the trick of a woman the secret of a woman is to always keep connected to that you'e that's in our letter to write the letter is really there the letter U is really there and so let's say let me go back to my example so if yes i do want everything in my home to match and to be just so and i'm so good at it right as the letter dalit and that's wonderful but let me attach it to the to the letter you would and so what does that mean so in other words if i want to have a nice home because i want to impress or rather make jealous the Jones with the Schwartzes so then that's dollar for dollar that's all that's not that's not good at all but if I want to have a beautiful home so that I can have wonderful company a chav asst and make them feel comfortable and have guests in my home and have a beautiful guest room and have Tober classes in my home and have different sim clubs in my home well that's dollar for you it that's dollar for you so every manifestation of a woman is always going to volved this letter which is interesting for us to think about even long after the class like okay I'm great at the dalit how can I make it connect to the UN this is true for the concept of all elements of Sidious all elements have really our role as we're going to see and so this is a little bit the foundational idea of what we have to bring out in terms of the letter the letter hey and the letter and the letter U and the fact that we are very much as manifestation of the letter hey and it's important to understand again deeper hush deeply gothica Lee where we're coming from with this particular this particular idea okay so that sets the tone a little bit for the ideas that we talked about the idea of vehnna and an idea of the fact that we are Hayes okay now so that's that's the foundation so I want to talk today about the concept of the mid of Nero's in other words we were given over the special Mitzvah to lighten a rose on shabbos and first of all I really just need to back up for one second there's a mattress there's many different sources but the the medicine I'm thinking about right now comes to Madras raba and precious kyocera it's talking about what Sarah sorry man who died and it's a very famous Madras let's talk about the idea that when Sarah died so that when Sarah was alive so there was a nun nun that was over her tanta cloud that was over her tent and when she died it went away but when rifka married get stuck it came back on the seat and that when Sarah was alive all the year she was alive so there was a blessing in her doe and her doe of her kala actually stayed fresh all week okay we'll get into that next class we'll talk about that what that means and then when she died that blessing was gone and when rifka a man who comes on the scene to Meredith clock so then the blessing comes back and then the third thing which of course is famous is that when Sarah Amanda lit her candles arif shabbos they actually stayed lit the entire era shot the entire entire week from through air shabbos through the next era of shabbos that was obviously a total miracle and so when she died that went away and when rifka you may know came back on the scene came on the scene so then it happened for her as well and so the idea what's the idea in other words this matter is nice it's interesting something perhaps we've heard of but what really do these things mean so first and foremost we're going to talk about Narrows we said so the idea was Sarah is that her kennel stayed lit the entire week now interesting one of the many ideas about shabbos one of the many many many many ideas is the concept is something against so much for us to think about is that we that really part of the idea of Shabbos it's a touch with Olam haba to touch with things that are eternal it's a cessation of work as we know and it's an it's the idea that the 25 hours of shabbos that we live through we're supposed to glean so much from spiritually as we go through the moments of that shabbos and we're actually supposed to live the next week on a higher realm we're supposed to live like we have to take those spiritual spark so to speak and we're supposed to turn it into living life on a higher around the next week and so the fact that Sarah had this incredible miracle that happened for her this total nascetur candle stay lit all week this is a physical representation of the fact that she did this in other words all hundred 27 years of her life when she was lighting the Shabbos candles she literally lived her life on such a high level that the 25 hours of Shabbos she got very much from and the very next week she lived on a higher realm and then after the next shabbos the very next week she lives on the higher realm and so she so there was actually this physical representation of really what her spirituality was so sir was obviously an excellent hey she was doing this very very well and so that's actually what the what the what the miracle itself means the concept of the Narrows is really fascinating it's talking about the idea of the sanctity of time the sanctity of time and and so we as women we have a tremendous handle on that and you know it's interesting it's an interesting thing there's a duality one is the fixity of time something is something else in a few moments i'll talk about fascinating energy say yes and the next a higher well because of that experience of Shabbos so the numerous state for sensation of her spiritual her spirituality right exactly her spiritual height in other words that she really did what she's she took from from those needles that shop is so steep and like lived it and and then for myself during the place with these those nearest a blip in connection to her staying with 16 right exactly exactly but it wasn't like the narrowest in other words and arrows cap off or start off the concept of Shabbos then she got everything she possibly could spiritually out of that javis and then took that into the week so it's the lighting the candles start the ball rolling so to speak and then and then the rest of the hours of Chavez continued that and then she continued that into her we could spread into her week it's interesting i'm happy that you felt because it maybe think of one other thing I wanted to say so thank you it's very it's interesting so now there's obviously shabbos we have to try to figure out you know how to get more out of and the the reality of what Chavez really isn't again very very large topic but fascinatingly enough so the chill Canara and ultimately the mr. Brewer bring two ideas it's very much help us in other words actually talking about post chaves and so one is the concept of melava malka as we know we consider it really the fourth meal of Shabbos it's something that should not be laid by the wayside it's really important it's also the military SMA sim resurrection of the dead there's a lot of these things with it and so you know my goodness i was asking us to eat it's not so difficult you know so you know if you you can fulfil it by the way look at cielo to actually be able to wash and have some bread there's other how long has evolved but busy avid technically you could do it by either making a mezzo nose or a eight what most people don't realize about the heights and so you should always have in mind that while you're eating the finger you're having your melava malka and it's huge its deep its eternal it's big time and also the no melly-mel ass again you came actually on the poland trip in Oh Melly Mel actually shares with us that very pertinent to us as women is that if your mock bid with lava maka so it's a school up for an easier labor and childbirth so that's pretty interesting yeah and but that in other words the idea is is that the three important meals of shabbos and taking that you're spilling it over into the week melava malka the other thing that actually the mr. Brewer it brings the other half is crime which maybe not everyone knows and that's the concept of lighting multi Shabbos candles and so it's very special my feet my particular family have a min hug that we take from the hob dolla candle which is the thing that separates you know the kodesh from the whole and and actually bringing that into the weekend with the half Dalek handle itself we like two candles losa shabbos there's no bratha there's no nothing and I know I find it's very special when i'm home on what the shabbos like I like to like do my work or whatever it is like near those candles I feel like it's very holy because again that's a reminder for us to actually take that let it spill into our week from shabbos ok so it's just two interesting things so so let's go back so the sanctity of time that's the idea of the candles so one of the ideas so very very interesting like I don't know I'll speak for myself but you know how you have how I have like a friday is just really crazy hectic and then some and like now it's really like off-the-charts I'm saying stop is starting before o'clock i don't know it's like just unbelievable but even in the summer when chavez starts much later they're just never seems to be enough time I don't know there's just so many details it's all filled with like so many details and on the house is flying and things are just like really rolling and then you go and you're really ready and you like the Shabbos candles and it changes the whole feel of the home changes it's unbelievable you got tapped into this you feel this it's just it's uncanny it's actually otherworldly and its spiritual sanctity of time we as women uh sure that in it starts with the lighting of the candles and it's just so strange because really a minute before everything was so hectic so stressful and it that you could feel it's tangible it's actually something that's tangible and so this is an amazing thing we are very much involved in that world of dilated its air of shabbos and we are just rolling with one thing to the next to get ready for the Holy shabbos and then with the lighting of the candles it flips into the wood and and so it's really some believe I just want to read you you know I have to talk about one thing very quickly it's so funny there was some article that I read like a while back in one of these like Jewish magazines and it was I really think it was a fictitious article I mean I it had to be because it was like this woman and she had like a bunch of little children and she was talking about how she was like hyper organized and everything was just so and then they did you know all the little kids who went to school everything was ready much it when they came back from school on Friday and she gave them air shabbos snack and then she bathed them and she put them to bed and everything was fine that she gave them you know a sarah shop is treat when they woke up and like everything was picture-perfect and then she was able to sit down and say her to hell him before yeah you're kind you're cringing right right everybody to read this article just really they were nauseous I really have to tell you they're so nauseous and definite like this has to be fixed it doesn't make sense of this thing is like really true it would be nice and if we could be that way that's amazing and of course if we can try to plan for it and with life is less hectic certainly it's a wonderful thing obviously but many times that's actually not how it is for us and so i like to be very real I'm very real very down-to-earth and so and still and all we change this month in other words when we light those candles we change we have we really have we can we can cap it at the at the top the concept of the sanctity of time just going to share with you for a moment a little excerpt from a very interesting book it's a book called playing with fire and it's from tova Mordecai she now lives in spot and she's a whole interesting interesting history she was born in England and she was a Pentecostal Protestant and it's a whole very fascinating book and she really is searching for spirituality on a lot of levels and she doesn't find it in Christianity and it happens to be actually that her mother is Jewish but she didn't realize that this made a whole difference because her father was the Pentagon surprised if she didn't realize because the Pentecostals go by patrilineal descent and she did not realize that really honestly she was a Jew and so it just wasn't doing it for her soul all this Christian stuff and so eventually the whole long story but eventually she gets out of his Christian College in England where she was studying to be like a preacher and a minister and she ends up in a chabad house air shabba she's in her mid 20s and so it's interesting the Pentecostals to change their holy day from sunday to today they take on Jewish names it's all it's interesting so she knew a semblance of shoppers but she didn't and they have a chef shot they had Sabbath right on Saturday but you didn't really know what it was with all the hell of us and all the different things anyway she ends up in the sky bat house and she doesn't know how to keep shopping so many things for first time and so they're puttering around the kitchen everything's a mess and she's trying to help this mother of many many children and like everything's just a freaking mess there and then all of a sudden the the mother says okay it's time to like Chavez candles and so she just can't believe it because you know everything's just a mess and like they're just quickly trying to clean up the last few things and then she they go into this dining room and like that room was unbelievable the table was said and everything was gleaming and the candlesticks and of course it's about home so all the kids are lighting candles and she doesn't understand any of this and she is just feeling this turmoil inside because everything was so crazy and they kept asking her do you want to take a shower you wanna take a shower now and she says no because she was thinking she'll be able to take a shower and relax after shabbos starts after the Sabbath Dirk like that's what they did when she was in the Christian college she didn't know anything and so it was just very very wild and um and so she's just she's just angry and she doesn't want to light the candle they're telling her to light the candle but she says you know what I'm gonna like that candle after all and um and you know then I'm just gonna go up and I'm gonna take a shower and so this is like all what preceded this anyway very very interesting so she I'm just going to read for just a couple of paragraphs so she license candle and she says the children help her save these meaningless words and Hebrew she doesn't know what she's saying and then the mother says to her gently she says good shabbos and she kissed me on the cheek I smiled gently and she says so little ceremony so little intensity the Jews did nothing more than light a candle and they had shabbos very odd this was so not what she was used to well finally shabbos has arrived I'm gonna go take a shower now if that's all right sandy the mother looked at me open mouth she says I'm sorry but I thought you understood why we don't do that on Chavez that's why I kept asking you if you want to take a shower well I was devastated why hadn't somebody told me I couldn't believe it I was filthy sandy had encouraged me during the week to let my hair down as it was customary for single girls in this community to wear buns on the over their heads and I had done so but my hair was extremely long for strict Christian women never had their hair cut and now it dangled down around me and lips strands I was not going to walk out of the house now for the next 25 hours I stopped up the stairs grumbly to myself that I was going to take a shower anyway it wasn't my fault they should have explained it if they thought i was going to set foot out they had another thing coming oh I was so angry and so then she says unbelievable she stood at the top of the steps and she inside she was in such turmoil she says I can't I can't I just can't I scream this is awful Oh God and my eyes filled with tears and as I opened the door I stood back somewhat startled I just couldn't go in the room something within the room piece the piece was filling this whole room it was so thick you could touch it I stood still for a moment and then I noticed that the whole house was filled with this piece I remained motionless on the landing for a while allowing the storm inside to come God was in this home in 25 years I had never sensed his presence so strongly and I only lit a candle I whisper to myself I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that God was really with these people these religious Jews they didn't need quiet meditation they didn't need to unwind and enter the Sabbath spirit she's describing all things that went on in this Christian College it was though as if they were saying we don't have to leave this world or change spheres we can have God right here they could be hectically busy right up until the last minute and then all they had to do was light a candle and suddenly the whole house was transformed into a blissful haven of rest I sensed instinctively there was more spirituality in their simple action than in trying desperately to contact God through fasting and prostration because he had been there all along that is totally the concept of duty so that's everything we just said with the idea of the hey she said well I was absolutely astounded I didn't want to wash my hair anymore I didn't want to take a shower I would go to the synagogue just as I was it really didn't seem to matter anymore I felt God was embracing me in that room and I didn't want to let go with his clutches to do anything at all that would disturb this piece I also felt that I would do anything I had to do to find this god of the Jews it's a beautiful beautiful piece and I really feel that that is very much the idea so one concept that we spoke about so far there is a PS not PS but there's a second idea about the concept of Davis which we're going to have to cover another time because they're a little shorter and time and I know people have to go but the idea again we talked about the concept of the veena which we're going to tie in with the up with the next idea of Nero's then I'm going to talk about next time and we also spoke about the idea of the hay and so we as women we take the whole physical involve so much with all the details of the world of solid and then we connected to that you had and through the literal lighting of our candles we literally transform this Mon the time from coal from regular weekday to kodesh to something holy and it's something actually tangible that we can tap into so think about this next week as we are hectic Lee getting ready because you know what it's going to come very soon we're just finished with it right this minute but boy it's going to come very shortly again can't stop time and much more to be continued thank you so much for coming everyone you