Episode 17: The Secret to Winning People Over & Gaining Influence

criticism is not going to get you to Win Friends and Influence People I think doing a good job with that for 1 hour is like working 10 hours it BR it takes a lot of energy sincerity plays a big role in the ability to influence people I believe that criticizing is probably the number one cause of family issues wiom your [Music] how are you good to see you it's good to see youim as always what's doing how is everything yeah it's amazing um I have a special announcement today that we decided that we're going to try to do a book review okay I I can promise that every episode is going to be a book review but uh I tell you one thing um I hate reading I don't like reading so whenever I want to read a book I usually buy the audio book version and I listen to the book but I know that you love I I know that you love reading we had a conversation about that you love reading and since I think a lot of our listening audience are very similar to me that they don't like so much to read they don't have the zit flash so we decided that we're going to take from time to time some books interesting books that we think the audience can benefit from it and have a conversation about the book like some takeout some interesting points from the book and this way by us having a conversation and a a a you know a little conversation you can probably take inake a lot of the information from some good books that I think can help a lot of people absolutely and I think it's worth mentioning that you know like you said I do I do read a lot and as a rule everything that that I read about is is without question talked about in Tyra it's talked about in our M you know so so what is a Miler what do you gain from from from discussing these books the the Miler is is that this information is put in a way that it makes it accessible and it makes it it and it's brought in a in a language that sometimes makes these Concepts easier to understand and better easier to figure out how we can apply it to our lives uh so there is a tremendous amount to be gained even though when you hear some of these Concepts you think well I heard about that the rabbi spoke about it last week already yeah but the difference is that the when we discuss it and what these books have to offer is often times kind of Bridging the Gap from what we know theoretically to actually being able to make it practical yeah but I think also usually when the rabbi talks he talks about spirituality and usually most of what the Rabbi says you can apply to your life as well and you know since this program is called GG I I don't think most of the rabbis will talk will will take it into context how you can apply it in business some do right but I think since this program is very focused on financial success on business success and we talk about these Concepts spe specifically geared towards uh financial success I think that's a big difference and by the way okay you're a RAB so if you want to really if you want to really get get the attention make sure that when you do your speeches you should talk about money I'm sure you do but I'm just just talking about it right okay that's a good aaid point I'm very I'm very excited I have to tell you I'm very excited about the first book that we chose and the reason I'm excited is because this is the first book that I read in my life besides the the certain books that I had to read for my life insurance business like for the licensing and for all the um for all that stuff so the first book that I read that I thought maybe it's going to help me make more sales it's going to help me deal with people I had no experience dealing with people I dealt with bam in Yeshiva before but that's basically with whom I dealt I never had the I never had to sell I never tried to sell I never and all of a sudden I see myself as an insurance salesperson you know they say that if you can sell insurance you can sell anything and and that was the first book that I read and the name of the book is How to Win Friends and Influence People people by D Carnegie it's an amazing book I can tell you it helped me so much with sales with business and in person with my wife my children were dealing with others right I think you should mention as well when it was written it was not like a more recent book that's now on the New York Times bestseller list I I I I think how long ago was it written it was written in the 30s in the 30s and it's still in the on theork times for sure it's the one of the bestelling books yeah yeah yeah so it's it's fascinating that you know something's been around that long and is still successful says something about the the the quality of of and and of the messaging and about what the book has to say absolutely I tell you even more that some of the mentors that I had in my business were were tell them Disciples of D carnegi mhm so but I only found found it out later I didn't have all these mentors back then when I read the book but I I probably read it a few times it's unbelievable and I will ask you sh you know let me give you the you know give us the core message of the book The Core message I I think really boils down to taking a sincere interest into whoever it is that you are dealing with whoever you're having a correspondence with or you're developing relationship with the book is all about genuinely appreciating and respecting the person you're dealing with and you're when when dealing with the some with somebody no matter what the context look for ways that you can appreciate their value and and think about how you can express that to them that's really the the the the underlying of the entire book so if I understand you correctly there's two there are two steps here step number one is appreciate the other person that you're dealing with let say you want to make a sale you're the sales person appreciate the customer like really really appreciate and the other thing which I think is even more important than that is how to express it because I think a lot of people don't know how to express it and nobody knows what's in the other person's brand you're dealing with somebody you really want to you really appreciate the other person you really want the benefit of the other person but if you don't express it then how what good is it so how do you express it and I think the book focuses a lot on how to express it as well yeah oh yeah yeah for sure I mean and I'll just point out that so many other books since this first came out have been written that you know if if you want to further understand the Carnegie you know cittis and ideas there's other books that can also give you more detail you know but but the under but but there's no question he he like you said he there's two areas here there's having a genuine appreciation for for the value of people you're dealing with and the number two is being able to express that and communicate that yes I want to tell you a quick story I I I'm just reminded of a quick story that I think you would like him there was a couple they were married for years and the wife calls the ru that she decides that she wants she decided that she wants a divorce so the r ask what's going on no she wants a divorce okay you know come come over with your husband let's see what we can do she comes over and then the asks again tell me what's going on and she insists she wants a divorce the the the the the the roof the rabbi turns to the husband what's going on he says I have no idea you know one she got up in the morning she wants a divorce I have no idea we had Ed all the time we never fighted I don't know what's going on so started pressing it you have to tell me what's going on she said I tell you what we Mar it for 20 for 20 years he never tells me that he loves me uhhuh so the roof the roof turns to him and ask is it true that you don't love her he says of course I love her I don't what she's I don't know what she's talking about so the RO ask her you know he says he loves you you says you say he doesn't love you what's going on see she says you know he never expressed it to me he never told it to me then the r ask him why don't you tell it to her he says I don't know let me explain you something Ro 20 years ago we got married I remember the first night we came home after the wedding I told her I love you I never took it back why do I have to keep telling it to her I told her 20 years ago she should know it and finish right so you know the morel of the story if you don't know how to express something you you can think that you know I told her 20 years ago that's it but if you're not going to express your feeling of appreciation and of course and by the way that's I think that's the biggest difference between influence the way that Carnegie suggest suggest and and and manipulation absolutely and I think you're yeah you're you're coming on to to a very important point and yes you know people aren't as stupid as we may think they are you know we we like to think that we might be very charming and charismatic and we're going to for the sake of getting the deal we're just going to convince people how how interested we are but if you're not sincere then correct it sincerity plays a big role in the ability to influence people and the ability to really connect with them in the way that you're aiming for but you know to your point regarding that story all these things don't necessarily come naturally to us and I think that's a huge another big that although Carnegie may not say it explicitly I think it's something that we should bring up that like in the story of course he loved his wife it was understood they never there was never a a doubt in his mind but it's a skill to learn how to express yourself and it doesn't always come naturally to us and we see this in parenting we see this in work we see this between our spouses in all different areas there's a certain assumptions we make that people just get it or get us and they don't necessarily and number two it skills there's also skills not only how to express yourself but how to be able to truly value people it you know you might think of course I value that person he's great he I I I I love him to pieces whatever the situation may be but are just because you may think highly of somebody doesn't mean you necessarily value them or you appreciate them in order to be able to convey that so all these things we tend to take for granted that we know how to do this but I don't think it's always true and I think you know there's a lot of skills involved in learning how to just simply listen listening there are there are skills needed to actually listen to somebody if you really want to Value them you have to be able to listen to them and hear what they have to say and in order to be able to truly appreciate them in order to be able to express to them your value for them or how you how they are valuable so my point being that there's a lot of skills involved and on the flip side of that we may think that just because we're charismatic and we we think that uh we're we're we're we we're we're we're so easy to to to get along with and so friendly that people automatically just assume I really value them even though I'm being manipulative that's also something to be aware of that people pick up on on on our true s our sincerity or lack thereof people pick up on that and so yes there's a big difference between being manipulative as opposed to being in you know influencing in a positive way and I think all these things require thought and and does require some work and skills and definitely in intentionality no matter what the bottom line is you have to be intentional about what you're doing right um I think that's important the intentional part and it's also I think tell me what you think I think that a lot of people they're so humble and you know it's a false humbleness they don't they don't get it how much the other party appreciates a good word from you and I give you an example think about father child you know how many children I I just had you know I'm reminded I just had it with my son and po my son was drunk you know and uh he started telling me things that he never told me how much he loves me and how much he appreciates me and how much how much how how how you know what fantastic job we my wife and myself did raising him he told me stuff that he never told me and then the day after po it calls me up he says tati I want you to know everything I told you yesterday when I was drunk is 100% true but I'm only but I'm only I only was able to tell it to you when I was drunk right so so we don't some so many times we don't have that yes you are WWI and and and to to to give a good word to your parents and they're looking forward for it you can you can so give them so much by giving them a good word so so many times we don't do it for others because we think they're up here and I'm here who am I to tell them such a good you know how much I appreciate them but it's not true everybody's eager to get a good word no matter from whom and you make you may look at you like a nobody but in the other person's eye he is like app he's going to appreciate whoever you know that's I think that's the big Club whenever you have something good to say never think that you're a nobody just say it make sure that you give ex you express your appreciation to the other person right and and at the end of the day you know we're all human beings and we all have the same needs and desires and and and it's a it's immense it's immense desire and need to be recognized for for for for who we are and what we you know we we do as human beings want to hear from other people you know you know positive thoughts and and and and and and a recognition of Val Val that's so important and and it's it's it's it it plays a big role in developing relationships with other people um but again sincerity is is is one of the key foundations to that as well yeah um Let me let me take a detour for a second to talk about Carnegie's approach to not about expressing appreciation but what not to say I think L of people I think a lot of people yeah you talk about having appreciation to the other person thinking about what you admire about the other person expressing it and and they they thinking to okay I'm going to start doing it but it's even more important what you don't say than what you do say and by the way everything we talked we're talking about is about husband and wife children and parents and of course clients and and and and and a company representative right so many times we want to say things that it's better not to say so talk about that for a minute you you want me to talk about that yeah oh yeah you know it's interesting there's there's a fascinating sitter from theil the c a gr the years ago there was um a c gr that was printed in in in paperback and the that particular printing had a section called shilas in it shus that according it's brought down thatan had asked the vyan hundreds of questions and he he he wrote down short answers to these questions and one of them is that he quotes the villan is saying that if you cannot control yourself from raising your voice and you give you're put it from the MIT of which I always thought was so incredible because it's the the you know of course we have Mitzvah we have to we have to play a role in standing up when we believe somebody might be needing some support oric but if you can't do it in a way that the person is going to be able to accept it or respond to it then you're not doing him any good if anything you may even be damaging and I just that you site is so crucial in so many different aspects if even if you're not talking in the within the realm of but it is so important that by the way explain explain the word to to simple people like me what does it mean giving rebuking giving rebuke or or constructive criticism if somebody needs a bit ofic or needs a bit of getting back on you know getting back on track okay so you know what what what that statement from the vill Goan highlight highlighted to me is you know if you really care about somebody it's not enough to just share with them you know what what they're doing wrong or or or conveying your concerns it's just as relevant and important to me make sure it's done in a way that they're going to actually accept accept it and be able to respond to it and that requires a recognition that you know what we're human beings and as as human beings we're sensitive we we we do get on the we we get put on the defensive if we feel like we're being attacked we we have a hard time you know getting beyond the fact that I see things purely from my own perspective and I you need to you need as as a person who wants to give me some guidance you need to penetrate that shell that I have around myself and it's not going to be accomplished if you're coming head on and banging at it it has to be done in a much more subtle way so again intentionality is crucial here but also if you sincerely care about the person you're going to think about how can I approach this person and be and do it in a way that they're going to to actually appreciate what I have to say and and and listen to what I have to say so that's one of car rules is you know part of a relationship is you know taking it upon yourself the recognition that I need to make sure that I'm handling this relationship even in sensitive issues in a way that is uh truly uh in with within the realm of concern and and empathy for the person I'm dealing with now of course not everything is always positive and and and happy clappy we can't we can't pretend sometimes times people do need a good a good laying into you know and it happens I know I need it myself of course I do but there's not going be any good accomplished if you if you don't think about what is the best way to approach the situation and do it in a sensitive way that the person I'm speaking to will indeed be able to receive the message I'm sharing yeah this is a very complicated I think a very complicated subject and in short what you're saying is don't criticize or condemn or plan so you know so easily and I I tell you a few days ago I met somebody that told me that he calls his one of his parents he calls daily and the other parent he only calls like once a week once in two weeks I asked him why he says because every time I call my this parent that he calls you know really less often they complain always negative always criticizing and it's so important and and it's very very challenging especially when we're talking with close people to us like children uh spouse and I believe that the the criticizing is probably the number one cause of family issues of uh of hurt uh bad feelings between between family members and and and spouses is probably the number one Comm and think and criticizing always having something negative to say and and of course of course I have to say it you know that's what the person thinks he has to say it especially if I'm I have to be the other person I have to say it if you have to say it it should be really really thought over how am I going to say it when am I am I going to say it is it the proper thing to say it maybe I should I I can put it away for a better time and I think you also need to have a the proper like how how many how many compliments did I give this person in the past I don't know how much time that they are already uh they ready to to take some criticism as well right and it's all because you know I think the key word that you mentioned is constructive if you want to be constructive if you you just want to give out your emotions then you know you don't care for the damage that's not the point of the book but the point of the book is How to Win Friends and Influence People and I can tell you probably most probably 99.9% % of the time I would probably say more than 99.9% it's criticism is not going to get you to Win Friends and Influence People right and and I would say that again the the um the the main focus focal point if you ever qu if you're ever questioning am I doing this for my own selfish reasons or am I really concerned about the other person it boils down to that you am I truly valuing this person and and is whatever interaction I'm going to have with them is it going to be a means of expressing that value that's really what the book is about so if you're going to criticize somebody make sure you remember that the criticism has to be as an means to enhance their value because you do appreciate them if you have that in mind that will help you then to think about the best way to go ahead and and and offer but you have to you have to be honest with yourself you really have to be honest with yourself 100% And by the way one I give you a good measurement how do you know that it's going to help the other person yeah think about the past few years when you criticized did it help them or not did it did it attract them to you or did it dist them from you if you think about your son your daughter you see that the the the your child avoids you she doesn't he or she doesn't doesn't like to be in your surroundings so much and whenever you open your mouth and you criticize they want to leave you know think about is this good is this really what you want right most probably because you can't control yourself right you really want that they're good make sure that you have proof that what you doing works right yeah and be prepared to to acknowledge that it's SK it's a skill that has to be learned and doesn't necessarily come naturally and that's okay it's okay to acknowledge that right and to be prepared to work on it and main thing is to be conscious you know don't just do something because you got the idea so let's move to the next thing um how to make the importance of making others feel important and I I I'm thinking of a of you know of many experiences that I had in the insurance business when I did sales naturally if I'm the expert and I'm coming to somebody to sell something I want to show off as being the expert right thinking that this is what's going to make the sale and the the interesting thing is based on how car Carnegie puts it and I think he's 100% right if you come to the same sales meeting and instead of showing off as the expert you show off when the client knows something that other people usually don't know like he knows how a life insurance insurance policy works or he did some insurance programs be uh before and instead of me explaining him certain things that I know that that he should do I should recognize him as important wow you did such a good thing you made a good decision we're doing this or we're doing that and you know more than most people know I think this is much more important for the sale than showing off my expertise well again because you're focusing on their value and you know and and and that that like that's a skill but and and I and I fully agree you know and and these These are skills that that if if if one if if we're intentional and conscious about we we can develop them and they're not it's not rocket science to learn how to to learn how to express you know your how much you appreciate somebody but I I think underlying that is is again the the the same you site is really making sure that you sincerely appreciate the person and having and being prepared to listen to what they have to say and and you know and and and being able to to um you know if you're talking about how do you make them feel important people want to be listened to they don't want to be lectured to they don't want to be you know just talked to they want to truly feel like you get them like you you're listening to them and they want to feel special special of course and and but but you know I think just it's so we don't give enough time to just listening to one another you know and and and listening listening for the sake of listen of of listening right for the sake to have what to answer correct when I was a rebi in in in missa I actually did a course and on listening skills and I was amazed there's a whole science behind how to appropriately listen to people so that you can actually engage them and in my case it was important as a rebi you know how many tum feel unlistened to and get frustrated and get turned off you know and I just felt like this is a skill that I really have to learn learn and it made such a huge impact in every aspect of my life whether it was with tamim whether it was my wife with my children in work whatever it was once you learn some real Basics and you can learn these skills there's books about it there's videos about it I mean again these are these talk about it now yeah but there's there are certain there's a few very basic steps that if you begin to use them you you'll find that you become a much better listener and that is a Game Changer absolutely listen this is how you attracted me but I you always listen to me I never stop talking yeah you're a really hard person to listen to you should just know you have no idea how much work is involved in listening to you yeah you need a lot of a a lot of years of experience yes did you like when I saidul or you would rather me say schulam or you would rather me just start saying what I wanted to say you just call me whatever you want I don't care how I'm not talking about whatever I want I'm asking what makes you feel better when I say what I want to say or I first say sh listen or I or I say rep shom listen what makes you feel better sh shom is good I like shom you like schulam so when I say before I say something I say schulam you like it more right I do yeah okay and the same also when if you say before you say something okay which brings me to the next point in the book that I think it's worthwhile discussing okay is about using a person's name I think it's sweetest the sweetest word in the in the world that a person likes is their name yeah that's interesting yes it's can you tell me something from your experience on that I'll tell you I was a rebi for many years and I was a RV um when I first took job is Revy you know you put in the classroom you could you could have anywhere from 10 to to 25 to meum and you know they're all fresh faces there's a lot going on and yet you want to connect with them as quickly as possible so I I read in a teacher training book which I think was such a precious piece of device the the the the the idea was draw a map before you start that the class you know for the first part of you know the first day of the year draw a map of desks and as you go around the room make sure you put every student's name in each individual desk and keep that on your stender until you not need anymore that way you always have easy reference so that when you when you have a tment in the classroom you can look at what desk they're at and remember their name and call them by their name and again it made such a huge difference and when I took on the Sho I used to keep a notebook and I would make sure that I kept notes of of of you know when when people would talk to me about their children or their latest grandchild I would make a note of it because what a smile on somebody's face they would get when you say Oh How is how's your grandchild you know shimmy doing or or or you know or or braa doing their face would light up like you actually remember but the flip side of that is when you can't remember how despondent they look like you know you can't you know it's between night and day you know why is it so important I think when we call each other by their our names it means that there's a connection there that already exists and and and and it creates whatever it does it does something in our brains whatever chemicals it starts but but it's a reality unb and you know and if we're sensitive to that it's such an easy trick that has such enormous dividends 100% you know I um a few a few weeks ago on shabas I walked on the street with my son and I talked to my about this about this concept about using the other person's name I told him let's do an experiment we walking the now people come come come the opposite way and we always say G chabas to the other person whoever walks by we say G chabas but now whoever I know the name I'm gonna make sure to sayas and let's see if there is a difference right and and there was such a huge difference you know you can imagine when I say lights up and it's and I do it with my children every shabas you know we B them we Bene them I Bene them before KES and you know with the name and and it's it's unbelievable so you want to your wife with your children with your husband and with others just say the name and now you know for for effect with as well we it absolutely it's huge it's huge um and these aren't just tricks you know Carnegie's book is not just a book of Tricks it's it's it's it's bringing to our attention you know tools that should be used as a reflection of our true appreciation for people right um you know let's talk the other thing I remember when I was in the insurance business there was an agent very very very successful agent and I I had a conversation with him he should tell me more how he does his business and he showed me every time before he meets somebody how much homework he does to understand the person like which Killa is he uh which which which which circles what's his interest where does he belong who are his friends etc etc and I thought it it was fascinating I don't think I did such a good job as him um and and I heard it from others also in the business where where let's say two two people strange people meet one is the salesperson and one is the other person expecting to somebody's going to try to sell him something so when he comes in he loves to wait in the waiting area for a while first to be able to look at the walls to see what what their interest what clubs do they bu what sports do they play you know that's what he says you know in our right in our Circle we can say which rabba does he like does he like which uh which uh you know where does he hang around you know who are his friends and then you know who was his grandfather I was once in a place and I saw one of the big big doam Do's picture I took a picture and I send it to the grandson of the of this goodle he was so happy so so the point is that you talk about the other person's interests and you open them up this way you you try to get into a place they should talk about something they love to talk so let's say I'm with my child I will talk about I want to talk about how he should behave better but right I'm going to lose him if this is how I'm going to start a conversation imagine me starting to talk about the best way to you know if this is the child's interest the best way to win in in a game that he's playing right and you engage him this way he's he opens up and he knows that you're on the same page with him and then you can also throw in you know I think in such a situation would be better to do blah blah blah but but I think it's it's unbelievable if you can start directing the focus on that and he talks about that a lot I yeah and 100 yeah it's all goes back to the same your site and you know you've got to wonder somebody who's a successful businessman who who probably has several pitches thrown at him on a daily basis right and all these people are trained in sales and they all know how to do they all know how to do research they all look them up they all talk about the the the the same you know oh I know I know what country club you go to and I know you know you know and they talk about the same interests right who you tell me who is going to be the one that successfully gets the deal you know even they're all they all did the same research they all know the background they all know the family they all know who's the one who's going to be the most um attractive to fellow I think the person who can align with him in some other areas of his life he feels like he's one with him like he breaks the barrier of trust very quickly yeah but they all all these people are experienced in sales they all learned the same technique so they all get they all come aligned they're all prepared to to to to show how aligned they are with this guy okay but only one of them is going to get the deal okay get maybe the one who can express it the best I'm not sure you tell me I I think it's the one who is the most sincerely uh interested in in in in in this person not fing it and it's not you know it's not it's it's not something that you you it's not a box you can tick it's not about showing more detailed knowledge of this fellow you know we as human beings sitting in that chair hearing all these pitches we automatically are inclined to to connect to the person who really is the most sincere you know and we pick up on that naturally you know so you can do all the preparation and you can do all the sales coaching and all the sales techniques and everything but if you cannot say that you are sincerely interested in this person and you sincerely value this person then no matter how much research and how much knowledge you have about him it's not going to make you're not you're you're not going to necessarily make that deal you know people we we have a natural um recognition and and and we have a natural radar for when somebody really is sincere and they really do value US it's it's be sincere don't try don't don't just talk about the interest of the other person really be interested and that's hard because when you're when you're focused on and and earning a living and you got to feed your family oh you really care you don't really care about this guy he's just another means for you to to to to make another commission I mean it and that's fair that's your job let's not fool ourselves right but but you know but if you really want to be successful you know it's it's more than just absolutely sticking the boxes I I remember I was always trying to not always sorry I said always not always I I I knew my job is before I walk into the door of this client I should leave all my trouble outside I don't need a check I don't need anything and for the next hour or so just zoom in to that person double click on him make sure you're interested to help him interested in what he's interested it's it's I think doing a good job with that for one hour is like working 10 hours it it takes a lot of energy but it's and and I want to just say you know as a finishing thought you know the question then is we're talking all these lofty ideals you and I we're talking about how important it is to be concerned about people and be and want to and value them but but how what what what real skill can one use to make that happen and I'm going to go back to what I mentioned earlier and that is learn listening skills learn how to be able to focus on what somebody's saying to you when they're talking and not be distracted by other things not with your phone not with whatever else it is and you know make it a goal when you're talking to people that you're listening so intently and again this is this is listening skills 101 be able to repeat to them or par paraphrase what they said to you if you had listen if you listen that intently to someone that you're able to say back to them oh so what what I what I think you're saying what I hear you saying is one two three and just simply be able to summarize or paraphrase it you've already you know you you've already changed the entire landscape of that relationship because you even if you really don't care you don't give a hoot you don't care about this person but the fact that you know you made the effort to be able to listen so intently and to be able to share with them what you hear from them and how you understand it whether you sincerely that's going to force you to be sincerely interested because you won't be able to to repeat it or paraphrase without really making the effort to hear what they have to say and this is listening skills 101 I think that's called Ming right what what's it called Ming mid Like A Mir a mirroring yeah I mean they have different names for it yeah but you know even for somebody who doesn't who may not comes so easily to to Really you know you're in a hurry you want to make some money you don't have time so how are you going to how are you going to be able to show any sincere interest basic listening skills will force you to be interested you know and and and if and and I think that's just something to share with everybody is you know and it's it's more difficult than it sounds quite honestly but it's an easy step easy in the sense that it's it's a skill that you you can adapt right away um and we'll be a game changer wow I have to tell you I really really love this conversation and I'm thinking if somebody wants to suggest a book that we should review uh they should send me an email atx.com c h m KS sorry c h m c m k s n.com or put a comment on YouTube or wherever you hear it uh or watch it but I really loved it I really hope we can do more we can we can do that more often absolutely and happens to be happens to be this book I was more highish in it because I read it a few times and I lived it know quite a lot of time but I'm sure we're going to get to books where I'm going to just have to be quiet and do a good job listening there's a lot of there's a lot of really good books out there that have valuable things to say amazing okay okay um yeah we'll leave it with this and have an amazing day and we'll you know let's talk next week looking forward as as [Music] always wisdom for your wealth