Chai Elul Farbrengen

so is this the first fabregan of the year you had one friday night so is this the second february of the year okay for those who are watching online we're uh at bay certificate seminary in crown heights where i'm very proud to count myself as one of the members of the faculty and usually i'm here during the daytime but it's a special event we're here in the evening to mark kai ello okay so kai ello the 18th day of the hebrew month of ello is the birthday or birthdays of both the baal shamptov and the altareb they both have the same birthday the who is the first rebbe of the hasidic movement was born high ello in the year nachas that's uh 1698. and uh the altar was born the same day kayal in the year cohost which is 1745. so 47 years apart and uh the connection between the the balchamptov and the altera not only is that they share a birth date but that they came to the world for related missions their missions are related to each other because the balshampton was the one who revealed the general teachings of siddhis and the al-tarab made it more specific or more focused he revealed the teachings of khabad siddhis so maybe let's talk a little bit about that what's the difference between citizen general as revealed by the balchamptov and khabad said this as revealed by the altarev so one of my kids he's grown up now but when he was uh a little kid like four years old he came home from nursery school with a card that he made for me it was a little tracing of his hand and then you know what he made it into you know what they do with the look at what he traced his hand and then he made it into a turkey you ever seen that when the little kids make a little turkey they trace their hand and they make a beak right here and this is the feathers it was a little turkey yeah and and it said happy birthday papi i love you how do you think i felt just my heart melted it wasn't my birthday by the way but he was four years old he didn't know that i'm not sure why there was a turkey either because it was nowhere near thanksgiving but i don't care my heart melted because my little boy chick he made me this beautiful card so i was thinking this gesture was so moving i was thinking when my father has his next birthday you know what i should do for him i'll trace my hand and all right happy birthday i love you why is that a beautiful birthday card from a four-year-old but not a beautiful birthday card from an adult i mean what's wrong with it it was it was good when he was four in fact i i might even argue that there's a certain purity there's a certain sweetness that the four-year-old's birthday card captures that nothing an adult can do could capture so the the the answer is that they're both beautiful well both what's both i guess what we should determine what would be an appropriate birthday card from a from an adult what would be a beautiful birthday card from an adult wha it should be longer like a ladder maybe you'll say some things that are specific like not just i love yutati but um poetry oh that takes talent not everyone's a poet but if you could pull it off that would be phenomenal yeah something that takes creativity ingenuity a little intelligence something he's always wanted oh you're like a gift not just a card but yeah send a gift as well a thoughtful gift something he's always wanted so not just something that you what's up oh so personal improvement you're showing him in his honor you're going to do something yeah these are good things why said about the jewish people that every single jew is beloved by hashem like an only child born in his parents old age so baal shem tov really likened the jewish people to a beloved little child by the way the balchemt himself was an only child born to his parents in their old age you know the story of how the balshampton's parents even though they were some say as old as avrom avino and sora he may know how they were zaika to have a child at that advanced age the balshampta's father used to bring in guests he had a very big shabbos table and one friday night a guest came in late and it was clear that he'd been traveling in a way that would be of would be in uh violation of shabbos and the other guests were all religious jews so they were put off by the fact that this guy in flagrant violation of shabbos was uh crashing the party so to speak and they were not so uh nice to him they they did not disguise their contempt and actually the bashamtha's father was personally hurt by this it says that he went into the other room to cry because it was so painful to him that he saw that his other guests were being impolite to this to this guest who was not who was not shabbos observant and at any rate he came back out and he made sure that this guest should feel comfortable and later on um who does this guest turn out to be i'm sure you know the story the guest was none other than elio navi the private of the prophet elijah who uh came to visit the balchampton's parents and he told him that in the merit of your hospitality and your your love of every jew you're going to have a son you're going to have a child who will light up the world so the balchamtv was born as a blessing as a reward to his parents because they felt that kind of love unconditional love for every single jew and then the balshemptev came to the world and that was also his mission is to to teach the unconditional love of every single jew and the way that he phrased it was like i said every jew is beloved by hashem like an only child born to his parents in their old age which as i mentioned also that would have been a description that himself related to on a personal level because that that was indeed his situation so on a personal level that was surely a meaningful concept that's how he described every single jew so really the balshampton's whole mission was that at a time of crisis it was a real spiritual crisis in the jewish world at that time the baal shem that healed the jewish world with with one message the message that every jew is beloved every jew is precious like like a child like a parent loves a child the way that a parent looks at a child just a little child a beloved precious little baby and doesn't judge and doesn't condem just just cherishes that's how hashem looks at a jew now that was the balshampton's message and it's interesting that that was the balshempta's message came to the world at a time of real potential peril the jewish world was in a on many levels was in a state of crisis there were terrible pogroms massacres a large segment of of eastern european jewelry had been brutally wiped out there was poverty real poverty um there was uh disillusionment because of a unfortunate uh event that occurred in the in the just in the previous generation from the balshemptiv where there was a belief in a false messiah who then became an apostate and left judaism and led many people astray there there was a caste system an unofficial caste system set up in judaism where there were the sort of uh the elite and then the disenfranchised and on many different levels economic and and social um religious there there was a sense of of despondency people were losing hope and it could have been god forbid it could have been a very uh pivotal moment in in a negative sense meaning we we don't know how bad it could have been but uh because barack hashem the bashamth came along and he sort of snatched the jewish people back from the from the precipice from the cliff and averted the crisis but how did he avert the crisis what was the message that basham that came and and revived the jewish people with it's very interesting because he could have had a lot of messages but the basic message the underlying message of the belgentiv was to allow the individual to know how beloved he or she is to hashem that was the message that was needed more than anything else to assure people that they are beloved they're cherished like a like an only child born to his parents and their old age in other words the the balchemtev he reminded jews of who they really are and he said this unequivocally about every single jew from the scholar to the layman the rich the poor it didn't matter a year there's a year there's a year there's a year that that that's fair that that was the whole message and it saved the jewish world and it's questionable if any other message could have saved the jewish world i mean the fact is that is the message that did save the jewish world could another message have saved the jewish world i don't know people needed to be reminded that they're beloved and cherished and precious like a child like the way that a parent loves a child that's what they needed to hear at that moment so that that's the balsamic what did the altered add to that well how did the altareba continue that to the next level or the next step we're precious because we have a neshama okay but that was also understood in the bashampton's message that the preciousness means than a shop [Music] okay so there's you're referring to the famous parable that the al-tarab gave actually in the time of his rabbit the magic we should just explain the baal shem had and now when i say at 60 tell me them obviously influenced tens of thousands hundreds of thousands of jews but tell me them i mean proper disciples people who study directly under him and one of his disciples was them is richard magid and he became the successor of the baal chapter the maggot had peach 120 double double the number the balsamic had 60 students the market had 120 students and among the mogan students were really the all-stars basically every hasidic dynasty traces itself back to one of the talmide hamaged one of these disciples one of these 120. the the altarev actually was in a way the odd man out because the valshamptov as well as uh most of his talmidim were polish jews palestine and the the altar was uh a litvak and they used to call him the litvak but they didn't let anyone else call him the litvak that was that was a known thing that the other tamid they called him their litvak but they didn't let anyone else refer to him that way but these were the all-stars and the malcolm and nickelsburg and his brother pinchas the balaflaw and the other the other two brothers that have zusha and rabeli malek it's funny in the veldt meaning of the siddhis chevelle they always say rebelli malik and his brother in khabad we always say resuscian is brother of ali malek you know why i think because if zusha wrote a a scammer for tanya so we always like him we give him tap billing yeah you know why riva zushiro by the way because uh when the altered wrote the the manuscript of tanya he had it sent to the mogan's oil and uh zusha lived there in the same town as the maggots oil so he was the closest one of the tommy de amagit just on a practical level so and i don't want to leave out any of the other tami de amagen because there were many other greats and once i start they're leaving out names and obviously i'm not going to name 120 students but suffice to say they were all giants they were all sadikiyam and the altareb had his own style they say that um was the only one from the media to hear an entire complete teaching of siddhis from the market from beginning till end why is that the other tummy them were leaving they would walk out in the middle castle they were so holy that when the magen would say this they would go into a state of vacus like an ecstatic trance and one by one they would just sort of leave themselves um so then the question arises why didn't that happen to the alternate why he wasn't he wasn't so sensitive he wasn't so spiritual and the answer is that the altar ebba's whole approach as he wrote in tanya is the brain has to rule over the heart so even though he would get inspired no no no don't get carried away keep it reined in mike and welcome gotta keep it keep it focused so the the outfit of his style of siddhis khabad which he called it is are the intellectual faculties and really it's the idea that we can experience godliness through intellect which is maybe an idea that we take for granted i mean being that this is a chabad crowd i think it's safe to say it is an idea that we all take for granted but it's a hindus we shouldn't take it for granted it's a big hiddish and i'll tell you why it's a big kiddish because if you're going to tell me that a person can use their intellect to study the revealed portions of the torah meaning like uh the gemara the legalistic discussions of the sages so i understand that because those are discussions that lend themselves to being understood that's the purpose of it the purpose is you should understand it so it makes sense to say that that a human mind can delve into it and to glean something from it but here's the thing if you're gonna tell me i'm going to take subjects which are totally abstract totally spiritual heavenly ideas other worldly ideas normally the way that we respond to that kind of idea is through muna's through faith precisely because i can't wrap my mind around it so then how do i deal with it through a muna through faith if i can't understand it i can still have a relationship with it but the relationship is a relationship of a munna and that was very central to the balshampton's teachings the idea of simple faith and and and that this faith was inherent to every single jewish soul and that the scholar and the layman alike didn't matter didn't matter if you had studied you have this basic faith to the contrary maybe even to a certain degree studying could get in the way of faith because faith and and intellect are two separate things so the balchampton was very the moushampton's whole approach was very much emphasizing the idea of simple pure faith comes the altar ebb and says we're going to take these ideas which normally all you can do with them is believe in them and we're going to try to understand that so do you understand how radical that is that proposal we're going to take ideas that inherently because of how deep they are the way that we normally deal with those ideas is just by believing in them and the altered comes and says no no we're going to understand them to the best of our ability as well so you get why that's uh well that's a novel idea but that was the whole idea of chabad an intellectual approach and that's why the the altarebus teachings are very intellectual very deep a lot of concepts not short little tighters especially after his imprisonment and his release where his teachings became very elaborate and detailed so you might say like this the balchamptov came and saved the jews by telling them that they are a beloved little baby that they should understand that their relationship with hashem is this is your tati he loves you you don't have to understand why he's your tati what makes him here tati what makes you his child all you have to know is that's tati and that's it and that was life-saving that was necessary that was crucial that was what was needed at that juncture but then a little time passes and the altareba comes along and says now kinder look it's time to grow up yes you are still your children your parents children and in fact you know as you get older you realize that your parents are always going to see you as their baby to some extent and when you have your own kids you'll see even when they grow up and even when you're impressed with them wow look at this this kid grew up and he's accomplishing so much what a mature adult and at the same time you always see your kids on some level is but this is my baby i'm saying in a good way in a pure way in a loving way it's my baby because a parent always looks at a child this is my baby so you never stop being your father's beloved baby you don't stop being the beloved baby but what happens is you grow up and you mature you also become an adult child and an adult child has to have a more sophisticated relationship with his or her mother and father it can't just be tracing your hand and make a little turkey and saying happy birthday i love your tatty and oh it's so heartwarming that's good for the four-year-old but now you're an adult write me a letter you want to really write a birthday card to your father write them a letter and say specific things intelligent things things that take thought give give thanks say say things that only an adult could say i mean you guys are still uh i'm here to hashem at the right time you'll invite me to the casanova but you guys are you guys are i want to tell you something you're going to get married you're going to have your own kids you can have your own family and you're going to be in awe of your parents because we cannot relate to what they do for us until until we've had to do it for our own children you grow up and and you say to your to your parents thank you thank you for everything you do thank you for the sacrifices i cannot truly fathom even what you did for us but now that i'm trying to do this for my own children i can begin to appreciate that's an adult birthday card for a father so the bolshev came and he told us you are the beloved cute sweet innocent cuddly little child and that was life-saving and we needed that we needed that message the altar came along and said and now let's also add a level of maturity to that let's start to learn about tati what makes him great you see a little kid he doesn't know anything about his father he doesn't know what makes his father different from other fathers he doesn't even necessarily know that his father is any better than other than some other kid's father all he knows is this is his father so when a little kid gets lost let's say in a crowd any any he cries out tati if you would stop him you would say to him hold on a second kid why why are you screaming out tati maybe there are other fathers better fathers who who says you want this guy that brought you maybe maybe upgrade maybe get another no all he knows is this is tati well why why is this tati because this is tati you understand he has a munna it's not intellectual it's just pure this is tati well why is tatitati because he's taught and and and and that's like the pure simple faith that a jew has in hashem well why is hashem hashem i don't know because he is uh why are you a jew i don't know because i am right that was the cheetahs the simplicity the bashamph of love the balsham of love the simple jews the because they don't complicate it what's the difference between a a simple jew and a complicated jew right a simple jew has clarity he has clarity yes no black and white it's very clear to him complicated jew everything is a gray i remember when we used to go on mithsalium on friday afternoons when i was a baker learning here in crown heights and as you know friday afternoons they uh shut down the yeshiva they closed the lights he's supposed to go out and uh go on uh mitsuyama the rebels mitzvah campaigns so i had a spot in uh manhattan uptown and i remember one time conversation i had with a guy excuse me sir are you jewish right that's how we would excuse me sir you're jewish and the non-jews would always say no i'm sorry don't be sorry you're beautiful the way god made you you don't have to be sorry no nothing to be sorry no apologies needed and then the jews would always you know i don't know yeah so sometimes yes yes would you like to put on film sure you know once in a while once long but uh a lot of times i remember i just i remember this one one time and i asked this guy excuse me sir are you jewish and he looked at me like he's kind of grimacing and i'm like are you jewish he's like what depends what you mean by that and uh i'm like i i i'm just i'm i'm here to help jews to do to do mitzvahs are just asking if you're jewish he's like well you know i'm not really practicing i was for a while but you know i do culturally i do identify with the aspirations of the jewish community but with certain exceptions um you know politically i'm not always so sure about and this whole long i i i said to the guys that you know what i don't even have to ask the question anymore you're definitely jewish like this no question here you you're jewish but see the belshamptov loved the simplicity the clarity the simple faith tati is tati why what makes him tati because he is right so what makes hashem great i don't know because he's hashem how did he become hashem i don't know he just is a chef he has no answers and there's a beauty to that we shouldn't put it down don't put it down it's beautiful it's beautiful it's pure it's sincere and in fact it's the foundation because the balshamptav came before the altar not the altar before the balshamp remember that the balsham have had to first come and let us know that we're beautiful sweet delightful cute little babies who know nothing about what makes tatitati and then the the alta rabbit could come and say let's grow up and let's start to learn about tati don't just tell me tati is talking tell me something about tati you malik versailles tell me about him he infuses all reality he transcends all reality he is infinite he creates the world at every single second all all created existence is ontologically dependent upon his absolute existence intelligent stuff talk to me about who your father is and that's what is see this is the alt-right talking to jews as grown-up children of their father and saying let's learn a little bit about what makes our father so great let's understand a little bit and that's why we learn things like cedric doucheless you know the orderly progression of how infinite everythingness gives rise to finite creation that's an important thing to understand if you want to appreciate your thought in an intelligent grown-up mature way and we learn about cosmology the origins of existence how created reality arises something out of absolute nothing at every single second the mechanics of that why is that important to know because that's what your tati does you should know about it you should do you know what he does for a living like a four year old you ask him what does your tati do for a living he has no clue what but an adult should understand this is what your father does and have a little bit of uh a respect wow that's impressive like yeah i love my father because he's my father but i want to tell you in addition to that here's some impressive stuff that he does you understand that's the difference between the balshampton's teachings and the altars teachings the bolshantov's teachings are i love my father because he's my father and i don't know anything more than that that's it dalton eva's teachings are tell me something intelligent about your father talk to me about god in intelligent language tell me something about this this hashem that's so important to you in your life talk to me about him tell me tell me what does he do what is the nature of his existence now the sweet little cute little kid is gonna say i have no idea what you're talking about nature of existence i don't tati is tati but the grown-up better be able to answer that question and when i ask you as adults seminary as adults right yeah in theory at least when i ask you speak to me intelligently about the greatness of god you should be able to do that especially as who were given a language a language a lexicon for discussing the the unspeakable i mean that's really what this is it's a language for communicating the unspeakable because it's taking ideas that used to not be transmittable in any type of intellectual way you just had to take it on faith and it gives it language so you can talk about it intelligently now here's another thing another layer you ready to go another layer deeper yeah so far so good is a language for discussing that which at one point at least was not something you could discuss if you know you know and if you don't i can't tell you and by the way that's what it says if you look in the rambam for instance when he talks about myself cover which are the kabbalistic secrets that were handed down throughout the generations and it was very uh limited who got to know these secrets it was not this was long before siddhas siddhas came and revealed the secrets and made them public property but for thousands of years before siddhis these secrets say they said the secrets the mystical teachings of the time were kept very very under wraps and uh like the random says in and uh that the concepts of mice and recover which are basically the the mystical inner workings of the universe would only be taught to one person in a generation and even him you only tell him if he understands it already like anyone who has to have it spelled out for him he's not ready he's not ready to hear it so who gets to hear these things i mean like really though the elite of the elite of the elite comes along the aldreb and says we're going to take these ideas that used to be considered totally inaccessible and we're going to make it that any intelligent person who knows how to carry a conversation i mean obviously you have to have some level of intelligence but if you're an intelligent person if you can learn another subject lahavdil then you could learn this and then you could have a language for discussing things that historically in the past people couldn't discuss because there was no language for it you just had to believe in it that's a pretty wild concept you know one of the things that it says in hayem that before siddhis specifically before the altaraba there was a teacher and there were students and the rebels given ellen tell me ellen the teacher was lonely and the students were lonely and then they came the altarebe accomplished that is no longer lonely and the students are no longer lonely what does that mean that they used to be lonely but now they're not lonely and why was it the altar so i'll tell you an interesting explanation imagine there's somebody who sees what nobody else sees somebody who can look at reality not as another created being within creation but from a creator's perspective from a a godly perspective and these are the rare holy people who we stand in awe of and we we refer to their way of looking at the world that with with names like uh ruach they see what no one else sees imagine how incredibly lonely it would be to be such a person because not only you see what people don't see you see what other people are incapable of even imagining so you have nobody to imagine before teresa this existed you would have no language to communicate your inner world to anyone other than yourself and maybe you'll find maybe you'll find an inner circle of people other tsaidiki maybe if you're lucky but your students definitely not your students the masses for sure not the masses so basically you have this experience of of life which is totally unrelatable and so that ebba was lonely came the altar and with siddhis khabad gave a language to be able to intelligently discuss that which heretofore had been completely undiscussable it was just something you had to relate to on faith and now the rabb is no longer lonely and his talmudim his students are no longer lonely because he can actually describe to you what he sees when we're learning students that's what we're learning we're learning a report on reality from somebody who sees reality from a completely different level which in and of itself by the way even if such a tsaddik exists and never teaches you that itself could inspire you you could say wow look there's a person who sees the world from such an elevated holy perspective that itself is inspiring but this is no don't just be inspired by it don't just be impressed by it now listen to this tsaddik he's going to describe to you what he sees and you're going to get it and what does it mean you're going to get it that's going to become the way you see the world too is that wild so something that asada gives to not even be able to tell anyone else now we can learn it and it can become the way we look at life too so that's you're asking the what's the chabad thing that's the khabad that's the khabad okay but right before you mention kabat i said are you ready to go another level okay so we go another level all right so one of the things that the altar ebba did for us is he said now that you know that you're the beloved sweet child who loves tati because tati is sinful sincere faith the alternate says now we're going to grow up we're going to be adult children who can speak intelligently about our father talk to me about this great god and how he creates and how he expresses his will in the mitzvas and what his plan is for creation and talk to me about mashiach and all these concepts that we take for granted when we learn to see this okay great now i want to go on another level not only enables us to speak intelligently about the greatness of tati but also and perhaps maybe even more importantly siddhis khabad gives us a language to be able to speak intelligently about the greatness of ourselves lets us know that we are beloved unconditionally so but gives us intelligent language for understanding and be able being able to explain why that is so what makes us beloved what makes us important what makes our value unconditional and inherent and that's an incredible gift that we have the ability to explain why our existence is worthy so you have to have both you have to have basham and altareb you have to have both so yeah first you have to have just a little child simple innocent certainty that yes i am important you know why because my tati told me i'm important because when he comes home he smiles when he sees me so i must be important that's beautiful that's teresa how do i know i'm important because when tati sees me he hugs me and he smiles and he's happy to see me so i must be important that's status about shaman is i could actually explain to you what makes my existence so important and it's not arrogance it's not it's not gaiva it's not that i'm conceited i'm full of myself no i'm just telling you a fact this is the nature of my existence and by the way i don't think i'm unique it's not like i'm lording this over you and saying i'm special you're not because after all that which makes me inherently worthy is the same thing that makes you inherently worthy is the presence of that nishama so there's no elitism here it's not like i'm trying to get one over on you no it's just having the ability to communicate our own worth and primarily do you know which listener it is the most important to be able to communicate your own worth to to yourself and particularly let's use the hasidic lexicon that the altar gave us to speak about this intelligently what aspect of yourself needs to hear this message what do we call it nefesha bahamas right the animal soul so the animal soul needs to hear in relatable terms that he's not unworthy he's not a loser he has to hear that he's inherently valid and that the infinite one takes pride in him and you know need to be able to do it on this level of of chabad because if you do it just on a simple level the bashamtives level and you just you tell your own animal soul oh stop with the stinking thinking stop with the negative self-talk come on we're not worthless he says to you how do you know and you say and we i just know i believe it he's like ah you don't really you don't really know but if you understand it according to titus khabad with us you say to your animal soul i don't know i don't know you're telling me i couldn't explain it sit down my friend i will talk to you for so long you're gonna regret that you invited me to give you this lecture i will tell you very articulately why i'm important why i'm beloved why my existence matters so one of the most important things that the alta deba gave us when he gave us this mystical language is the ability to actually understand this idea of our own greatness which really is a really deep spiritual idea it's not something that on our own we would be able to figure out historically throughout the generations it wasn't something that people really knew about they were healthier so they didn't need to know about it you understand siddis was revealed on a need-to-know basis and it was revealed bit by bit in stages as we were more desperate for it more of the secrets became revealed so we're at the point where we really do need to be able to speak confidently and articulately primarily to ourselves about what makes our existence worthy one of the things that we know is that hashem embodied himself so to speak in order to have a relationship period in order to have a relationship if hashem is everything how can he have a relationship you ever thought about that before if hashem is everything how can he have a relationship we're not a separate entity of from him yeah yeah so when hashem relates to us it's really him relating to himself oh he knows he created us he knows us so it's not that hard for him to relate to us okay i i guess if that's the way you define relating meaning to understand what makes somebody tick you're right it's much easier for him to know what makes us tick than it is for us to figure out what makes him tick but that's not what i mean by a relationship you know a psychologist can study somebody and understand what makes them tick it doesn't mean they have a real relationship a real relationship is an interdependence where you you create something together you're on a mission together how can hashem be in a relationship if he's everything and all then there's no one to relate to there's no one to partner with so hashem otherizes himself so to speak into you and reunites with himself through his relationship with you which is what every marriage really is that's why the best metaphor for the relationship between hashem and the jewish people is a marriage metaphor king solomon was the wisest of all men and when he wanted to have the best possible metaphor to describe our relationship with hashem he wrote shir hashiram which is a love poem he wrote it as a marriage what's a marriage think about what happened you have adam marissa adam was not the first man of them doesn't mean man is a man ish as a man isha is a woman all them is an earthling from the adamah and then hashem looked at this earthling this being who was totally self-sufficient and trust me when i say his life was a lot simpler and he said it's not good for him to be alone so he split this being into two into man and to woman and then he said now cleave together and become one flesh hold on a second you had one you said no it's not good let's make two you have two and you say no become one why did hashem do this to the first human by the way the word human is one of those words in english that is precise human comes from the same root as um you know what humus is you ever do gardening work with humus humus is dirt human means from the dirt like the altimas from the adama it's also from the same root as humility when you accept the fact that i was made from the dirt that's called humility which is also a sense of humor when you can laugh at yourself so hashem took this human and he made him two and they said now become one because he wanted to imprint in our psyche his experience hashem's own experience what is hashem's experience that everythingness so to speak separates himself into otherness creator and creation infinite and finite and then says now let's reunite and become one again which will ultimately happen when meshiach comes and we'll see how creator and creation are one the infinite and the finite one the soul and the body are one so really this is the metaphor marriage is the metaphor for hashem's relationship with us the question is the point of a marriage is to be fruitful and multiply peru who what does it say uh about uh these are the offspring of the taylor that the offspring of the righteous are my even their good deeds now it also means literal children because one of the good deeds one of the 613 commandments at least for men is to have children to have a boy and a girl who have each a boy and a girl but if you're asking what is the offspring of our marriage with hashem it's the good that we do in this world it's a partnership and that's what the dithetainm is by the way when we speak about hashem wanted a dwelling place in the lower realms what do you think that means that means he wants to marry his wife and they should live together in a home that she sets up for him he could go and live in some bachelor pad he could rent an apartment in manhattan that's not what he wants he wants his wife to make a home for him and he should move into it the home is the world that we the wife and i include myself as a wife because all jews are wives to hashem you know i was once at a retreat and uh this woman interrupted me and i forgot what i was speaking about but she she says to me um why do you keep calling god him and i said because he's my husband and she got like a little bit taken aback i said yeah it's true he's my husband and i said you know it's interesting because my wife gets to be a wife all the time because down here in her terrestrial marriage she's a wife and then also with hashem she's a wife because all jewish people are wives to hashem i said for me it's very confusing because with my wife i'm a husband but with my husband i'm a wife and that's why i as a man have to constantly be reminded that i'm a wife that's why i have to say shalayasan isha in the morning a woman doesn't have to remind herself that you know what amisha sunnisha the double meaning shall lay with an aleph chalet with a vag shallow sunny isha he didn't make me a woman shallay with ava he made me his woman he made me his wife because i'm not a biological woman i have to constantly remind myself every day that i'm his woman i'm his wife and that's why also i put on phil and women don't have to put on filling i need the villain to feminize myself when a man puts on filling do you know the bias the the box is supposed to be like a uh like a womb like a uterus and the retsua the the strap is supposed to be like an umbilical cord and then when you wrap the the the the strap around your finger it's supposed to be like a tabasha kedushin like a marriage an engagement ring and that's why before you do it you say no he who sanctified it was like the word the word for marriage in in in jewish traditions he who married me not just he who made me holy he who made me holy he who married me betrothed me with his mitzvahs so the whole thing is about is about marriage you know in sherashiram it says you guys probably know this line it's a famous line of shitty because it's also a digging from the alta rabbit but uh the curl deity deific right so the in in that line in shirashirum hashem refers to the jewish people as tamasi tamasi the word tom means whole complete means my complete one it's a compliment um but the madrish rabba says tamasi is si you know what to aim are huh twins right anyone else here born in stephan yeah gemini gemini who else is born in stephen if you're born in civen twins right the sign for sivan is geminis the twins not the minnesota twins the gemini the so the medusa says hashem says to the jewish people you are my twin this isn't from this is that from kabbalah this is from madras from ghazal that hashem calls the jewish people his twin it's a wild concept huh so who are you how could you not embrace your absolute worth if you understand even partially what it means to be an extension of god's own existence just like his existence is absolute and needs no validation hashem doesn't need anyone to give him permission to exist so too that is the nation of nature of your existence you do not need anyone to give you permission to exist so stop apologizing for your existence and stop being self-conscious and stop being full of shame stop asking people for validation so that you can feel that you finally belong and you're finally worthy you don't need it you know why because your existence is as absolutely and unconditionally worthy as hashem's own existence bam now can we go another layer yeah one more layer okay as i understand you're going tomorrow to the oil that's incredible if you are not from new york and you've come here to new york for the year definitely take advantage of your proximity to the oil as much as possible if you're from new york i'll tell you that also however much you may have been taking advantage of it do it more you don't realize i say you don't realize because i don't think it's possible for any of us to sufficiently realize what we have access to but i want to tell you a little bit about what it is um the altareb used to refer to the balsham as derzede he called him the grandfather and the simple explanation is that the altar well i mentioned it earlier let's uh quiz you real quick the altered was a student of the margaret and the margaret was the student of the balsham so the alterabus teacher's teacher is like a father's father it's like a grandfather so if he considered the margaret his spiritual father he considered the balshempt of his spiritual grandfather okay the baal'shemptov had a grandson named reboroh measurable and reborroch was a contemporary of the altareb the altered you are the biological grandson dubious that ain't nicole but i am the spiritual grandson he meant it like he was he was proud of it he was saying you may be the biological grandson but i have something even better i'm so grateful to be able to to claim being the spiritual grandson the rebbe asks a question that ebb asks a question that after you hear the question if you know a little bit of siddhis you wonder how in the world you're going to answer such a question because it's such so obvious after you hear the question sidness explains that there is no closer relationship than physical biological kin kinship and it explains it very clearly because what's transmitted in the blood i'm talking in a physical hereditary relationship is the essence and he explains very clearly the gemara speaks about for instance the possibility of somebody who is a hog a wise man the son of a fool okay that could happen but no the gemara explains he he inherited his wisdom from his father the fool well how did he get wisdom from his father if his father wasn't wise and the explanation is because even if the father didn't have access to it it could be that deep down in his essence he had it and then when he has a son the son gets it because a son doesn't just get what the father had access to the son gets the deepest essence of the father even potentials that the father himself never revealed and and that's how you can see a glimpse of it the the the the physical relationship or to use the hasidic uh jargon that that atsum is nimshuk ingasmius that essence is carried specifically through the medium of physicality which is also not to get into a side conversation why hashem wants a dwelling in the physical world and he wants mitzvahs to be performed with our physical bodies with physical objects not in heaven not symbolically or spiritually but concretely in the physical world but at any rate that's a side point the point is the relationship between a biological father and son is excellent means essence in contrast the relationship between a teacher and a student and again i'll use the technical term is it's just an emanation of intellect it's not the essence and it's very easy to explain what i mean that it's not the essence first of all what the teacher tells the student is not everything the teacher knows surely there's greater depth that the teacher himself understands that he's not capable of expressing or he's not certain he should express so not everything the teacher teaches is everything the teacher has inside that's first of all but then secondly not everything the teacher even teaches does the student hear or understand or retain so think about the potential for breaking you know like the the the broken telephone game you play with your kids so a teacher to a student he's not giving his essence he's giving an approximation he's giving like a glimmer of some aspect of himself and by the time it reaches to the student it's it's like a copy of a copy but the father to a son that's etsyn and that's where those genes they carry everything even if the father himself didn't have access to it that's why the fool could could bequeath wisdom to his son even though the fool himself didn't have access to the wisdom a teacher can't teach wisdom to a student if the teacher doesn't speak the wisdom but a father could actually bequeath the capacity for wisdom to a child even if the father himself never had access to that capacity for wisdom you understand the the contrast so the rabbi asks a question how in the world is the alta rabbit telling reborn oh you're only the biological descendant i'm the spiritual descendant if you learn a little bit of this it's pretty clear that a biological descendant is a much deeper connection than a student okay so we want to hear the answer says in the madrich madrid resemble their creator how did tadika resemble their creator well i'd imagine many ways but in this particular mattress and in this particular context the lab explains it to mean that just like hashem when he gave us the toyota did not give us a book that he wrote but he gave us himself in book form fallow toyota is not a book written by hashem torah is hashem himself in the medium of the book and that's why the first word of the ten commandments i am the lord your god the first word in the in lashon of kurdish in the holy tongue is the pronoun i and as the uh as the enyankiv explains anoise roshitevis is an acronym hashem says i wrote myself and gave myself through this medium of torah so toyota is not a book written by hashem toyota is the medium through which hashem actually gives us himself and that's why as the zayer says are entirely one entity so just like hashem was able to transmit his essence his teachings so too tadikim have this capacity to transmit their essence through their teachings so when you have a relationship with azadek it's not just oh i heard a teaching i was inspired let me repeat it for you that's a regular teacher-student relationship this is much deeper than a regular teacher-student relationship this is more like and in fact in many ways surpasses a father-child relationship and what does it mean a father-child relationship that the dna of the father is the essence of the child so to have a relationship with azadek doesn't just mean that i was inspired by his teachings it actually means to discover that your deepest self is identical with the tsavik when you go to the oil you are not going there to pay your respects to a great jewish leader you're going there to encounter your own essence you're going there for yehidus hid this is a one-on-one audience with the rabbi how they used to call it the oil means the essence you know the five levels of the soul the nephesh which animates our physicality and then the ruach which is the energy of the emotions and the neshama which is the energy of the intellect then which animates our our spiritual transcendent life and then is the essence the one-on-one encounter with the tadik is the encounter with your own with your own essence so if you have an opportunity to be your deepest truest self i would recommend that you take that opportunity as often as possible you know usually if you wait for it to happen in time you know there's time and there's place one of the nephesh the temporal and the spatial and the the human so if you wait for it to happen in time there's one day a year where you are your truest deepest self it's called yin kippur ah the one day a year where you are truly yourself and that's why we dive in five feel us five prayers because the yakida comes out and that's why you do chuva and nyem kipper that's how kapoor that's how atonement works oh by the way that's the other word the english got right i said human is a good word in english so is atonement you know what atonement is etymologically at one minute that's what it really is that when you realize you're one with hashem then everything that you did wrong falls away because that wasn't the real you that was on your external layers that they just fall away when you're at one with hashem you're pristine you're perfect all over again and nothing you did on the the levels of nephesh even if kaya can touch it so in kipper is the one time of year we experience our true selves but also you can have yin kippur anytime you want you go to the oil and you have your hedos and you can experience your true self how do you feel it here's the beauty of it you don't have to in fact feeling it may even be a distraction because here's the deal when i have an experience something intense happens to me then i feel it but this isn't something happening to you this is you are the happening you're not having an experience you are the experience so it almost is impossible to feel it because feel what this is your essence you are it you're not encountering it you're not beholding it observing it you are being it you're it how does the sun look at itself if you want the option is available you can have a subject object relationship with atomic and you can be impressed with the today and you can behold the today you can look up to the tsa that relationship is available what i'm informing you is if you want to go deeper you can realize there's nothing to look at there's nothing to observe you're not looking for anything anymore you are it you always were you always were you always were everything you were looking for there's a one of my favorite yukida stories there was a young guy [Music] we're not the toddick we're not the topic the essence of the child is the dna of the father look deeply and you will find that tzadik is not someone other than you that saddik is your truest self his castras is not hero worship his consciousness is the facilitation of self-discovery to reveal your own godliness that's why any time you left from the rebbe's presence he gave you a job to do because you can't meet that ever and leave without being informed of how great your mission is in this world you know that was gordon's act from bexley ohio but he hadn't seen that i've been almost 20 years he had this and then almost 20 years later he came to the deba's house in 1988 after that ebbington passed away that i was giving dollars in his house and that ever saw him and within a half a second recognized him and continued the conversation that they'd been having almost 20 years earlier and he starts laughing it's on video you can watch it and he says you're amazing and the devil says what will be the value to the community if i'm amazing like what what what value is it that you're impressed with me what did that ever want gordon's axe to do by the way he wanted him to create a foundation an endowment for jewish education and that's what they'd ever told him after he saw him 19 years later he says by the way remember when we were speaking it's like imagine you haven't seen somebody in 19 years forget about the fact they've aged it's like jason assad's brothers couldn't even recognize him but that ever sees him and he continues the conversation exactly where they had left off he says what are you doing for jewish education he was trying to get him to get to make an endowment i think 100 million endowment for uh for jewish education in other words don't come and tell me how great i am i'm not interested this is what that was saying i want you to understand how great you are get to work one of my favorite yoga stories which i was about to tell you is um is uh freddie hogger fry him hager oliver charlotte from london he was in his twenties as a young guy natalia butcher to crown heights and he had this with another three in the morning and uh i'll tell you the punch line first then if you want i'll tell you what led up to it but he was equidistant with the debbie came out and he said i was not properly prepared for my encounter with the rabbit i entered thinking i was going to meet a great man and i left realizing that i had met my true self and by the way what did the rabbit tell him in that that i've actually told him to become a rabbit yeah the whole story i won't tell it now but he told him to become a rabbit and he told him what is a rabbit he asked him three times everything he had of value in his house he would give it away every night before he would go to sleep it's interesting because the way the rabbit defined the rabbit is not you know he wears estreimo tatish and rabba is just somebody who's selfless and he's there for others so the rabbit told freddie hager to become a rabbi i think he did actually become a rabbit the way that ever defines that not you know you should uh go uh open up a steeple in borough park and find some sydney becoming a rabbit the way the little baba should ever define sarabi is whatever your capacity is whether you're a businessman freddie hager was a was the chairman of the london diamond divorce when you're in business you're in education you drive an uber whatever you do but be a rabbit be there selflessly for others that's how the rabbit defined dread jonathan sachs although shulman says you know great uh good leaders make followers great leaders make leaders that ever made leaders i think that's the balabata way of saying it the real way the siddish way of saying it the honest way of saying it that ever made rabbis no question hundred percent that ever made it evidence they haven't said it by the shining rabbit that ever said every single jew is an admir that's the title that's used for a rabbit that ever said every single jew is an admirer and i haven't knew what he was talking about he knew what that title meant that eva came to teach us how great we are every mimer every single that you learn from the rabbi if you don't come away from it cherishing yourself and respecting yourself in a new light you didn't learn it properly and for sure if you come away from it feeling inadequate you definitely didn't learn it properly i had a teacher one of my mashpeem in yeshiva he was a little kid back in the good old days when every little bar mitzvah bachelor had yohidus so he had can you imagine that little 13 year old kid being able to bar mitzvahed so he asked his teacher who was rabiot oliver your site was just recently his first yard so it was just recent so the bar mitzvah boy asks rabiel when i go into the rebbe how should i conduct myself so rabiel says to him in like the sharp russian style he says never mind i'll go and study so it's like no no i'm just asking how do i conduct myself when i'm in the in the room and then you need this he's like yeah i told you i'll go and study you so he's like no i'm just asking yeah i'll go instead of you so finally the kid just says tell me what am i asking what just what am i saying wrong just just tell me sorry then he tells him like he says this world the physical world is a false world it's interesting by the way usually when we say that the phenomenological universe the physical plane is that alma de shikra is a false world what we mean is things aren't what they seem you see the table instead of seeing that var hashem the divine speech which is enlivening normally that's when we say the world is a false world we mean things aren't what they seem we see creator instead of creation we should really see both but what rabiel meant apparently is from context this worlds and ahmadishaka is a false world not just because things aren't what they seem but we are not what we see even to ourselves we don't see the truth about ourselves we have a full self-concept we have an idea of who we are that's based on the lies of the the nephibomis of the animal soul wrapped in shame and inadequacy and we we don't realize that we are an embodiment of eloquence of godliness we don't realize who we are so rabiel says to the kid listen to the punchline this whole world is an ahmadisha it's a false world and in the false world there's one he called it dalit ames the one four cubits of truth the one little place of of truth and what he meant by truth is not just that things finally are as they really are but he meant primarily here you are who you really are you are your true self you are your true self there's one place he meant in yehides in his room when you're standing in front of the tadik and your yakida is nisgala your truest deepest infinite eternal absolute existence becomes revealed to you so that's when you are the real you so so wl says to the kid and in the whole false world there's one place where you are the real you and in the one place where you are the real you you're asking me to tell you how to conduct yourself that's why i said i'll go in instead of you like it defeats the whole purpose you want to put on an act the rest of our lives we're acting we're constantly acting we're acting to ourselves the self-deception is is worse than even what we're doing to others the way we we we lie to ourselves and i'm not talking about the delusions of grandeur i'm talking about the opposite the delusions of inadequacy that we convince ourselves for something less than an infinite eternal godly being we're not human beings having a spiritual experience we're spiritual beings having a human experience we existed before the world was created you want to hear for i don't think the world is ready for this last week's fire show was kiseit say the first verse in the in the last week's torah portion sidness explains that this is speaking about the soul when you the soul go out where from heaven to war where's war the battlefield this physical world you're gonna be in a body and you have temptations distractions that's how this explains it asks a question rashi says on that verse this verse is speaking about an optional war you know there were optional wars and obligatory wars a militant mitzvah is a war you have to fight like amolek let's say that's not an option it's one of the six hundred thirteen commandments then milham is the king goes to the sanhedrin and they declare war they don't have to he decides strategically that it's uh they're gonna declare war but it's not a mitzvah to to fight that particular war so in context rasheed says that verse kiseitse al-mulhama is an optional war so that ever asks a bombshell question how in the world can you tell me that this verse that siddhis says is talking about ureth the descent of the soul into a body is coming from a verse that in context is an optional situation your soul had an option you were forced into embodiment so you're telling me that your soul coming down to the world was optional doesn't seem very optional but listen what that ever says the major says when hashem created he consulted before he created but who did he consult with whom did he consult so it says he consulted the the neshamas of the righteous and the rabbit says the navi says that all of your people are righteous so when hashem created who did he get advice from from you he spoke to you he said hey should we do this now you don't remember that yeah it was a long time ago and you were in a very different state back then but the real you and you continue being the real that real you is still the real you even though it's covered in layers and layers of stuff but that's what this is is to remind us who the real you really is so you can start digging it out and getting in touch with it so when hashem created the world he consulted the nishamas and said should we do this and they said yes so basically your embodiment was optional and you opted in you clicked yes i read the terms and conditions let's go for it yes i want the app so for us to view ourselves as puny little created beings we're we're missing the whole mature relationship with hashem and with ourselves that siddhis makes possible the altar became and in a manner of chabad of intelligent faith gave us articulate language rooted in all of these ideas they all trace back to gamora to madras to azalea none of this is his innovation but he gave us a language he gave us a vocabulary for being able to actually have these discussions so i can sit here and i can say to a room full of how old are you guys 18 19 okay i can say the room for 18 19 year old young ladies secrets that in the past were not even known by the the greatest rabbis with the white beards i can tell you these secrets that the real essential you your true identity is godliness and that you existed before creation and that you are more creator than creation and that you're not just down here within the creation as just another created being you're experiencing that yeah because that's the embodiment mission that you're on so we have that sort of double duty that we're pulling where we have that perspective of being in creation but we're in creation but we're not of creation it's not who we are we are of the creator we are a helichelacami mao mamash what does the momish part mean even in a physical body we remain godliness so when you go to the oil you finally have an opportunity to encounter your true self your own greatness i think you'll like what you find i hope i'm sure why wouldn't you like it who doesn't love in the summer you say something if we're not feeling it what practical difference does it make did you understand what i said you under i mean intellectual you understood it then you're okay then you're good you don't need to be inspired this is not a broadway show we're not here to entertain you i'm i'm being honest with you there are paths in a vedas hashem where that is the goal by the way where i want to feel it like you're saying you're asking well what if i don't feel it i want to feel it there are paths invade us hashem where that is the goal to feel it to feel something what i'm telling you is this is deeper than feeling this is deeper than feeling you're not experiencing something you are the experience [Music] and maybe even you can argue that that got in the way don't there's nothing wrong if the feelings come like don't run from them but don't make that the goal either in other words shouldn't impress you how there's something wrong if ella cuss is impressing ellicott like that ever wasn't impressed with himself he said ah what difference does it make if i'm amazing so i don't want to say there's no place for it and there are other paths in serving hashem but this path is about don't be so impressed this should be natural it should be natural to you realizing that you are infinite and eternal and that your existence is unconditional shouldn't blow you away it shouldn't impress you it should feel really normal it should feel normal it should be like hmm okay i heard that that makes sense cool great i guess that's who i am no you don't like that why don't you like it to what doesn't sound like one doesn't sound impacted you well what does it mean that it impacted you did it impress you i told you the alternator would hear the my mutton from the the market or they called them titus and he didn't have an out-of-body experience he said oh cool but it's the opposite can i tell you the reality the extr this extreme experiences tend to remain just that extreme experiences wow that was so amazing and then the next day it's lost this is not amazing this just is the truth about you and then you get up in the morning and it's still true and then every moment you have free choice to act like yourself or not but at least the next time god forbid you do an invader you should know you're betraying your true self you're not acting like yourself at least you should know what innovator is what makes it dysfunctional is that you're not even acting like you so that's why this is the mature approach and hopefully as you grow it will have more significance to you and if it doesn't mean anything to you for now you can go back to we said we have the valshamtv and the altareb so you can go back to a monaphota and you can just say i need to serve hashem because he's tati and i am a jew because i am a jew and i don't know what those things mean i don't know what makes tatitati i don't know what makes me a jew but that's what it is and you can do that but i'm saying we have an opportunity through having discussions like these that were not possible in previous generations you could not have this discussion we didn't have words for it we can have a discussion like this where you can come away from it and maybe you're not going to be blown away and maybe you're not going to feel like running out into the street in somersaulting but you'll just have this calm sober awakening that oh that's who i am and you'll see it'll creep up on you and start to come out in your behavioral choices what are you going to say isn't it selfish to want to connect with itself because then you're really connecting yourself so then it's selfish what's wrong with being selfish when you're connecting to the today you're connecting to yourself that's right what's great about being connected to yourself well i could start by saying how dysfunctional is it to not be connected to your true self how many problems does it cause in life to not even know who you are how much pain and confusion does it cause when a person doesn't even know who he or she is i mean would you agree that that's a problem so it'd be good to know the truth about yourself and what if you found out the truth about yourself is not that you're this worthless little ant or this crumb that barely deserves to be here you don't even deserve to be here maybe that's not the truth maybe the truth is that you are absolute existence that you you require no validation for your existence your existence is as real as hashem's existence how does that awareness come from a connection to the rabbit the rabbit is the yakida the aggregate for all of us who reveals in us our godly essence when we connect to the rebbe like it says empiric base of tanya right chapter two of tanya that all souls come from the same level and then the next page he says no but there's different levels oh hold on a second and then he explains yeah because some take the local train some take the express you know some souls when they're coming down to the world they they they stop off and there's wear and tear at the different stops and other souls they come straight down to embodiment just from the highest heaven and in embodiment they have the same god consciousness as a soul in the highest heaven so what does he say in chapter two of tanya the solution is find such a jew who in in embodiment has the same god consciousness as a soul in the highest heaven meet that jew connect to that jew and by doing so you will be returned to your origin that you are also from that same place so meeting the rabbit again like freddy hager said he nailed it he said i thought i was going to meet a great man i left realizing i had met my true self his conscious tuition is not to behold something other than yourself it's to finally have a glimpse into who your true self is i i i commonly experience that there's a lot of like hesitation to accept this idea like we worry that there's something like it doesn't sound right like if it's not humiliating then it's that it can't be authentic you this kite like it's got to make me feel worthless or it's probably not trump like why do we have that suspicion where does that even come from if you actually learn to this your expectations should be the exact opposite you should say if it doesn't uplift me if it doesn't empower me then it's not authentic to this what could still empower someone oh you're a crumb and that's empowering you're a crime in a different way like in an abusive type of way right right yeah i need somebody to tell me how worthless i am because we know yeah but i'm asking seriously like why do i need that abuse and it's not even true but here's the thing it's not even true first of all it's mean but second of all this is probably more important it's a lie it's not even true you're lying to me to put me down like at least insult me about something that's real to tell me that i'm worthless it's not true i'm an ashama i'm infinitely worthy okay okay so now you're now okay that's a good question you're saying but there's layers to me there's aspects there's different like yeah there's my essence very good beautiful but then there's other parts of me like i was saying before yin kippur works the atonement the at one minute works because there is always one with hashem even when you sin yeah but what about that part of me that was sinning and what if i identify with that part of me that sinned more than i identify with my yehido essentially your question right and my answer to you the short answer is that's precisely why we're talking right now that's why we're having this conversation that's why i'm using so many words because i want your brain to start thinking in terms where you identify more with the part of you that cannot be tainted by sin then you identify with that part of you that does get confused sometimes of course these are all parts of you but i want you to start identifying with the core of who you are and then maybe over time what we start to do is have integrity you know what integrity means integrity doesn't just mean honesty it means integration integrity means to be integrated fully wholly integrated the the lashonda follow what i'm saying for a second that i have all these layers and levels when i bring them into alignment so i'm thinking and feeling and behaving in ways that are aligned with who i really am that's called integration but the only way to do that is you have to start with a baseline you have to start with the premise who's the real me who's the real me because if you believe that when you mess up and do something stupid that's the real you and then you try to get yourself integrated with that you'll never achieve integration because your essence isn't that so when you start believing the the the hype about yourself that your own animal soul tells you to undermine yourself what happens is you you end up in a in a process of building a case for a false self that eventually is going to cause a major disruption because it'll never be aligned with your essence so better go the other way start with the baseline this is my essence this is who i am i'm godly i'm here for a mission i'm here to make the world perfect if there are other aspects of myself that are not yet aligned with that fine okay it's a process i'm a work in process let me start bringing it into alignment what were you going to say give it time the emotional experience by definition if it's a really legitimate one if it's a really legitimate one it can't be induced at the push of a button this is a process this is not a concert there's not a concert where somebody comes out they sing a song and everybody cries it's an idea it's a deep idea it's such a deep idea people didn't know these things in previous generations let it settle in let it settle in and then see how eventually it starts to affect your other levels your emotions and your behaviors and your thinking don't don't get blown away don't try to get blown away just be comfortable with the truth and say oh okay all right i got it and then see what happens nemus by definition takes time it takes that it's a process it's a process but you can't even engage in that process if you don't have a baseline for the truth so first know who you are accept that be okay with that and then slowly start to integrate that into the other layers including your emotions and then at some point you may come to feel very intensely about this but if you're not feeling intensely about it right now that's fine in fact not only it's fine it's it's probably better it's more real it's more action you heard what you said the goal of land that's the goal of life i mean of the aveda of the inner work that we do through our lifetime is to get your animal soul to finally see what the godly soul knew all along yeah that's it and when we have conversations like this this is a really i hope an important step in in that happening this is only the second for brengan of the whole year right yeah okay okay so to be continued to be continued okay all right