Carrying Yom Tov Into Sefira - Wednesday Night Women’s Shiur

Okay. >> [cough and clears throat] >> We don't like to leave a Yontif behind. You know, when we when we experience a Yontif, our job is to bring the Yontif with us. Every Yontif is another treasure that we inherit and it's important This is not done often enough. It's important after Yontif to try to connect the Yontif to what comes after. And not just talk before Yontif about preparing for Yontif, but then when Yontif is over, we forgot that it ever happened and we're on to the next thing. A little bit like what we tell the chacham, right? The chacham asks mah oreid v'ha chukim v'ha mishpatim. And we teach him all the halachas and what do we end with? Ad ein maftirin achar ha Pesach afikoman, right? That we don't um we don't eat after the afikoman. Why don't we eat after the afikoman? Because we want the taste of the afikoman to remain with us. That's a very important message. We want the taste of the afikoman to remain with us. That's true about the Pesach itself. That we want the taste to remain with us. I don't mean the Pesach food. But the uh the spiritual gifts of the Yontif. So, I want to talk about one of those gifts and [snorts] how that translates into the days of Sefirah and what we can do about that. Okay? >> [clears throat] >> When when Klal Yisrael came out of Mitzrayim, they traveled for a week until they reached the Yam Suf. And then the Yam Suf split. They went through the Yam Suf. They encountered Giluyim revelations that are incomprehensible to us. Unbelievable. And it's safe to say, at least from our understanding, that when they were sitting there in the Yam Suf with the dry water, whatever that is, however that worked. It says that it was Naid Noizlim. You know what Naid Noizlim means? In the Shir HaShirim, it says that it was Naid Noizlim. Noizlim means running water. Nozel means like it's like a fluid, like a porous. Naid means a pillar. That's not physically possible. Running water can't be a pillar. It doesn't say that it froze. It didn't freeze. You know that the water didn't freeze. Okay? It was just became hard. Water became hard. We don't have any way of even imagining what that means. Okay? Naid Noizlim. And >> [snorts] >> they they experienced at that time they understood at that time everything. The whole world opened up to them. It was It was like um They saw until Mashiach came. They saw the history of Cloud Israel. Oz Yashir Moshe, right? They saw until T'chiyas HaMeisim. They saw the meaning and the reason for everything. All the secrets were uncovered. They were able to see from one end of the world to the other. They were in a situation complete connection to the purpose of everything. Can you imagine? You can't. Okay, it was an unbelievable moment. And the thing that was clearest to them at that moment was that the world was created for them. And they were the reason for the creation of the world, and it was their journey that Hashem created, our journey in other words, that Hashem created the world for. That was how they came out of Krias Yam Suf. Okay? Um I mean, who you can't even imagine the level of inspiration at that time. Like the level they they when they crawled and they got to the other side of the Yam Suf, you talking about people that had experience as if Hakadosh Baruchu came and hugged you like like momish, like in the clearest way possible. Like it there was like there was no greater joy. You can't be happier than that. You can't have more joy, you can't have more satisfaction. There were no nothing painful, there was no aveilus, there was no It was just a moment of pure pure connectedness and simcha. Zeh Keili v'Anveihu. Unbelievable. In the description of Klal Yisrael coming across the Yam Suf, it says in the pasuk that they saw the Mitzrayim dead on the side of the Yam Suf. Va'Yar Yisrael uh um Va'Yar Yisrael es Mitzrayim meis al sfas ha'yam. They saw Mitzrayim dead. Why is that important to tell us? So this year by the Neilas HaChag, I spoke about this a little bit. And I explained that because Mitzrayim represents everything that wanted to Claudius back from reaching their task kid. Every force that wants to say don't don't grow. Don't [snorts] be my cable the tire. Don't go out of mid trial. Don't reach your greatness. Don't connect with that guy right that mid trial trying to hold us in mid trial trying to hold us back trying to hold us down. And when they reach that moment in the Yancey of that they just saw everything. And they saw clearly that it was a full full experience that Hashem created the world for us. And for our journey. Everything that mid trial represents was dead on the side of the Yancey. There's nothing. You know like um >> [snorts] >> You ever have a a decision you're having a hard time making a decision? It's difficult. Um And And then Let let me start with a with a with a a simpler example then maybe I'll get a little bit more of a feisty example but let's say you're not sure if you should take a job. You know they're offering nice a nice salary. It seems to be good but you're not sure you're really up for the job but you're going to enjoy it. Is it the right thing for you right? Who hasn't had such a struggle you know? And then You take a leap. You take the job. But even as you take the job you go to the first day you're a little apprehensive. You're unsure. As you get used to it there's a lot of questions a lot of you have to be my closet yourself. You're not so confident. But at some point It clicks. Do you know that feeling? It clicks like I belong here. This is a good job for me. This worked. I hope that you've had that experience. This worked. This went. This is good. I belong here. This is a good job for me. And when that happens, what happens to all of your doubts? They're may self-destruct. I am. All the doubts are dead. All the doubts are gone. They're meaningless. They don't They don't carry any weight for you anymore because you've had that moment of clarity. >> [snorts] >> Sometimes someone has it as they're engaged, as a couple is engaged. I've seen that happen, you know. I don't know if this is for me. I don't know if they This is right. I have certain doubts and fears, and I don't know if I could do this, and I don't And how do I know this is the right shidduch, you know? Like all these fears of being engaged. Like some people Boys and girls, like this this this you know, like these these feelings of worry and nervousness beforehand. And it doesn't happen immediately, but at least for many couples, at a certain point in the future, maybe it's a few days later, maybe it's a few weeks later, maybe it's a few years later. It suddenly becomes clear like, "Yeah, this was meant to be. This was the shidduch. This was right. This was good." What happens to all the doubts at that moment? They may self-destruct, I am, right? And so on and so forth. In life, that's how it works. That when you reach that moment of clarity, the doubts fall to the side. And all of Israel had a moment like that. All of Israel left Egypt. Egypt is all the doubts. All the pushback. All the I can't do it. You know that I can't I can't I can't do it. All the I can't do it. That's Egypt. And when all of Israel was there in the Red Sea, and the Red Sea splits, there was no I can't. There was we're doing this. This is our role. This is where we belong. This is my job. This is This is everything. And all the doubts are may I am. All of Israel as Matrayam may say I am. >> [snorts] >> What ends up happening? Cloud of Israel comes out of the Yamsuf. And my sure I been knew. Pushes them. To go into the desert into the midbar. And suddenly. It dries up. All the inspiration dries up. By Yale who slices Yoman by midbar by the Matzo Mayan this week right cuz last week was Yontif right? So this week you know like Yontif was over Thursday night. So Friday Shabbos Sunday they're traveling in the midbar. Slices Yoman midbar. A few days ago they were like in the embrace of a Kadish Baruchu. Now they're in the desert and they're thirsty. And where is Hashem? And they start feeling this discomfort. This like withdrawal from that love from that closeness. There's like this moment of incredible intimacy with a Kadish Baruchu and then it's gone. And that's what the Kadish say when it says they went three days and they couldn't they didn't find water. It means three days without Torah. And it's because by the way of that experience. It's because of that that Kadish were Masakin. My sure was Masakin. That we don't go three days without laining. You know that? A minion does not go three days without laining. We lain on Shabbos and Sunday we don't lain. Then we lain on Monday. Tuesday Wednesday we don't lain but then we lain on Thursday. We don't lain on Friday but we lain again on Shabbos. We never go three days. The most we go without lining is Tuesday, Wednesday. Two days. And the reason for that is we are never going three days for like Matsumae again. We're never going three days without listening to the Torah Shem. It was because of the that that experience that that that quality Israel has this minute of lining three times a week. We also lay in Shabbos by Mincha, but three days a week. It's interesting that the Nissan is the first month of the year and year is the second month of the year. I were heading into Rosh Chodesh Iyar. And we know that the months, the 12 months correspond to the 12 Shvatim. The three Yom Tovim, the three Shalosh Regalim correspond to the three others. Pesach corresponds to Avram and Shavuos corresponds to Yitzchak and Sukkos is Yaakov. And the 12 months corresponds to the 12 Shvatim. Okay? And so that means that Nissan is Reuven. Corresponds to Reuven and Iyar corresponds to Shimon. So there's a Shem Mishmuel. The Shem Mishmuel is one of the Hasidic forum. He says an unbelievable thing about why Nissan is Reuven and Iyar is Shimon. He says Reuven is a lashon of re'iyah, of seeing. And Shimon is a lashon of shmi'ah, of listening. So why does why is Nissan Reuven and Iyar Shimon? So just as an example, um yeah, I don't think he brings this pasuk, but I think it's I think he would agree with this. Um let's say for example, Klal Yisrael says in in Shir Hashirim they describe Hakadosh Baruch Hu that sometimes we don't see him. Right? It says [snorts] in Shir Hashirim in the second perek, it says Hinei zeh oimed achar kosleinu. Behold, he is standing behind our wall. Mashgiach min hachalonos, watching from the windows. Meitzitz min hacharakim, peeking from the cracks. Sometimes Hakadosh Baruch Hu is hiding behind the wall. Sometimes we can't see Hakadosh Baruch Hu. They go three days in the midbar and they're not with Hakadosh Baruch Hu. When someone's behind the wall and you can't see them, so how do they communicate with you? You hear them. They could hear you and you could hear them. Can't see them, right? It's shmi'a, it's not re'iya. The girl even says on that pasuk, Hinei zeh oimed achar kosleinu, Hakadosh Baruch Hu stands behind the wall and when you davven to him, then he looks at you. But the standing behind the wall, that's first has to be shmi'a. That first has to be listening. There's a madreiga of a relationship with Hashem that it's like he's right here. Like when you're getting a tremendous bracha from Hashem and when when when you're experiencing nissim from Hashem. If you ever had a situation like that, like incredible siyata d'Shmaya, incredible neis, you feel like Hashem is right here. He's not hiding behind the wall. He's right here. It's re'iya, it's seeing. It's in front of my eyes. The nissim are in front of my eyes. There's also a relationship with Hashem sometimes where it's like he's hiding behind the wall. I can't see him. I don't see the hashgacha. That's shmi'a. We can hear. We're listening. But we can't see. It's a little bit more of a distance. And the Shema Yisrael says that Nissan, the the month of the geulah, the month of Pesach, Nissan, is we saw so much. Klal Yisrael saw Hakadosh Baruch Hu 10 makos, makos bechoros, the man, the the the the the the Krias Yam Suf. It was just an unbelievable giluy of of Hakadosh Baruch Hu started in Nissan. And and when Iyar came, so there were nissim every day in Iyar, but it wasn't this kind of revelation. It wasn't like like Krias Yam Suf was. We couldn't even compare it. It was a little bit quieter. It was Hashem standing behind the wall. What's the point of that? The Shem Mishmuel says the point of that is to build our own muscles. When we always see Hakadosh Baruch Hu, when we're always interacting with Hashem, so then we don't build our own muscles of our own emunah and our own bitachon and our own devotion to Hashem, because he's right there. Um Like for example, it's a very interesting when when the makos were taking place, so I don't remember which makah, maybe it was shchin or barod, one of the makos, um so I um Paroh says, "Please, please, please take away the makah, right?" Paroh was going crazy from the makah. Please, please tell Moshe Rabbeinu, "Please take it away." So Moshe Rabbeinu says, "I'll take it away, but the as of now I don't know you daddy, but about you and your servants I know ki terem tir'un lifnei Hashem Elokeichem. What does that mean? You know what the word terem means? Anybody know? What? Okay, so very interesting. So, Rashi doesn't translate it. Rashi translates similar to what you're saying. Rashi says terum is not yet. Maybe it's before. Maybe that kind of thing. Like you have you have not yet reached the point of having your shamayim. Terum teru it's it's it's not you're not yet fearing Hashem. But the Ramban learns it exactly like you just said. The Ramban learns terum before the makah goes away. Terum Hashem like and then you have your shamayim. You know when Hashem is going like this, then you have your shamayim. Terum before it goes away. Moshe was saying I'm going to tell the makah to go away. But I know that terum it's only before the makah goes away that you have your shamayim. As soon as the makah goes away, you don't have your shamayim. You know like that joke about the parking space. You know? Right? Like yeah, wow. You're under the gun. You know? Like then then then then then you remember Hashem. You know? There's no atheists in a foxhole, right? Now you remember Hashem. Before the makah goes away, you remember Hashem. But that's not the measure of a man. The measure of a servant of Hashem, the measure of Israel is can we have your shamayim when there isn't It feels like there's been a lot of sorrows lately. I have to say. I don't know if it's I was discussing with my wife today if it's just feels like we've we've there's there's been a little bit of like an an uptick if I could say that in the and this besides for the war and all the aftermath of the war, but these these boys that drowned in Israel and this car accident in Lakewood and the other car accident in North Woodmere just like it's too much, no? It's a little too much. And when we hear about sorrows as as you didn't as children of Hashem, ask ourselves, okay, what do we got to do? What could we do? How could we make a difference? What could we do? Is there something we need to improve? Is there something that we could do better? To be able cuz if if sometimes if it feels like there's like a meter sudden, so what could we do? And that's what we should feel. But what do we feel when there aren't when you turn on the Jewish news and it just says everything is awesome? Isn't that nice? Imagine that. It does happen sometimes. Not always tsouris. Sometimes just wonderful things. Sometimes the news is there was a tish there the the rebbe a rebbe came to America. It's true, yeah, sometimes. Yeah. Sometimes some days. >> I wouldn't say it's not over but I would always think that there's tsouris going on in the world. >> No, there's always tsouris going on but I'm just talking about things that that are so jarring that they hit the the headlines, you know? That they're like wake up the tsibur at large. You know, you have to realize that we live in a time that's a very very connected time. If we lived 100 years ago, so we would live in Waterbury and we would hear about the things that take place in Waterbury. >> Even 30 years ago. >> Yeah, but 30 years ago they were still listening to the radio. >> Yeah, there's radio. >> Okay, you still heard what was going on in the radio, you know? There was still newspapers, you know? I mean there were newspapers 100 years ago, too, but it wasn't the same. It wasn't like >> [cough] >> So I've heard. I've heard, yeah. >> 100 years ago 120 years ago, let's say, if you lived outside of a big city, you might not have gotten like national news >> Right. Right. Right. You didn't know. You didn't know. You didn't know what was going on. And there was something about that that was a little bit easier to connect with everything, you know? In our city, baruch Hashem, in our city we've had kein yirbu bli ayin hara, we've had enormous amount of simchas, enormous. Enormous. A few weeks ago, when it was still freezing cold in the winter, we had four shalom zachors in one Shabbos. That's That's amazing. That's incredible. Four shalom zachors in one hour. We should have more Shabbos like that. We had four shalom zachors in one Shabbos. Called the Shabbos of the year. You know, you didn't have to go to the shalom zachors as I did. Yeah. What? Yeah. I mean, it's a Shabbos with four barmitzvahs in one Shabbos. You know, we have kallahs, we had a vort this week, you know. There's this kallahs, there's you know, and continued simchas, you know. Barmitzvahs and barmitzvahs this Shabbos, you know, there's there's there's uh there are simchas. And if we didn't live connected to the whole world, we would go many weeks with just like great simchas. And every once in a while, unfortunately, there'll be a tzarah. And some of the tzarahs are the type of tzarah that makes us um pull together as a community to help the person who has the tzarah, but that it doesn't make us ask ourselves, "What are we doing wrong?" because in life is a life cycle, and sometimes things happen. And some of the tzarahs would cause us to get together in shul and then make a tfilah because what's going on here? How is this happening? You know, that you know, that in our shtetl The problem is that today, and that's why you have that attitude. Problem is that today, we hear the headlines in every single city around the world. You know, Oh, yeah. In general, that's In general, that's true. We definitely hear much, much more, and it's true. It's true. So, there's a shooting in Australia, and we hear it. And there's a there's an anti-Semitic thing in France, and we hear it right away. And there's a Hatzalah ambulance is in England on fire, and and we hear it. And we're hearing everything. You know, it's true. But even in that world of hearing everything, it sometimes is worse than other times. And the the types of tzarahs change. You know, you turn on the news, and it says that this older of was nifter or this person was nifter. I'm not saying that every time a person is nifter it's a difficulty and it's sad and we should be nice about oil, but it's different than oil laying and finding out that a 15-year-old was killed in a car accident. That's different. Okay, that's the type of Torah that you just grope to even begin to understand what that means. Okay? So, so that's what I mean that like, you know, sometimes things but there are times that we don't have tsouris like that. There are times that you turn on the news and let's say you miss the sham like Lag Ba'omer comes. Okay, we had a very difficult Lag Ba'omer a few years ago, but let's say Lag Ba'omer comes and you'll turn on the from news and it will have pictures of Meron and pictures of the the the the the Bobover Rebbe lighting his madura and the Satmar Rebbe lighting his lighting his madura and and and and all these different tishin and everything and it'll be very beautiful and it'll be wonderful and be a simcha in Klal Yisrael Lag Ba'omer the time that Rebbe Akiva stopped dying. And those times are wonderful and I hope we have tons of times like that. That's wonderful. But one of the things that we need to work on is not to let our guard down and not to be less motivated to grow and to change during those times because then we become like Paro. Terem terem lifnei Hashem Elokeim, before the makkah goes away then you have yiras shamayim. And it's a hard thing, you know, when there's a middas hadin on us. I feel it myself, you know, when one of my children is about to have a baby or something like that. I find myself being more careful about things. I have to admit. I find I feel like Hashem's what? Like everything's a zchus. I find myself being more careful. That's a little bit of Paro in me. It's a little bit of Mitzrayim. Because right now everything is just calm. But we're still first of all always in the hands of Hashem and second of all we don't serve Hashem because we're afraid he's going to kill us. We serve Hashem because we're his servants and we have a mission and it's our it's our pleasure and it's our honor and it's our purpose and it's our tough kid and it's our everything. That's why we serve Hashem. And when a Jew lives like that, so then it's not about the gun to the head. That's what this month is all about. That's what the month of Iyar is all about. The month of Nissan is about all the incredible inspiration. That's the month of Nissan. The month of Iyar that's when a certain stubbornness exists inside of us. I don't mean a negative stubbornness. I mean a very very positive stubbornness. A sticking to it and do what we do because that's what we do. You know, I have like this incredible admiration for like Yidden that have lived in various communities. I don't mean like the big New York, California, Chicago, like the big communities, but there are Yidden that have lived in far-flung communities even in this country. 550 years. And you find every once in a while like a small community or a couple or a Yid that just stayed loyal to Hakadosh Baruch Hu, doing the mitzvahs, getting rid of the chametz before Pesach, lighting the Megillah on Purim, doing what they need to do without a yeshiva in the neighborhood, without someone being machazik them, just a certain stubbornness. This is what I do. You have people that consistently for years in Siberia, in concentration camps, in difficult times, in far-flung places, they just stayed loyal. Keeping a calendar, staying loyal. This is what I do. It's incre- and I have tremendous admiration for that. I ask myself if I would have the koach to do that. We live in a world that we've constantly being inspired. You know, we have access to learning Torah, to the hearing Shiur, and to to connecting with each other. We're very fortunate. But, there are people that haven't been that fortunate. And there's this quality, there's this Jewish quality that we have that even if Hashem is behind the wall, we don't forget about him. Even if we don't see Hashem, we still know we still remember him. And we remember our responsibility to him. And that's a mark of Chodesh Iyar. Chodesh Iyar is that, you know the famous Roshei Teivos of Iyar Ani Hashem Rofecha? You've heard that? That Iyar is Roshei Teivos Ani Hashem Rofecha. They say it's a time of Refuah. But, what's interesting is that those words were said on the Shabbos before Rosh Chodesh Iyar. In a In when Yisrael came out of Mitzrayim, it was said after they came out after Krias Yam Suf. And it was said, and listen carefully, you'll see all of the listening in it. Shmiya, right? Not Re'iya. The possuk says, "Vehaya im shamoa tishma lekola Hashem Elokecha." "Vehazanta." "Hazanta" is lashon of oznayim. And you listen, "lemitsvosav veshomarta kol chukav, then I won't do any of the makos that I did in Mitzrayim, ki Ani Hashem Rofecha." Iyar. Iyar is a time where we listen even if we can't see. Iyar is a time where we connect even if we don't have the constant inspiration. And it's something for us to work on. Of course, we also have to work on being constantly inspired. And find ways of being inspired. Those of you that come or listen to the Shiur every week, that's a way to do that. When we sit together and we talk about Yiras Shamayim, I know it does that for me. Fires us up a little bit. Makes us a little stronger. Makes us feel a little more grounded. Reminds us of our priorities, right? That It has that effect. That's one of the reasons that we do that. But, what if we You have that? What about the days in between? What about when things are a little difficult? So, there's a certain stubbornness, the ER stubbornness, the Shimon stubbornness, the Shmiya, where we say, "Yeah, all the revelations of Nissan, the revelations of Krias Yam Suf, the incredible revelations, I remember them. They didn't happen today, but I remember. I'm not forgetting. I remember how how connected I was. I remember what it felt like, you know, for me sometimes I have to be honest with you, like it's been already a long time since I've heard my Rosh Yeshiva speak. You know, he doesn't speak anymore like he used to, and it's been a long long time. And I listen to recordings sometimes, but you know, I you know, especially on Yom Yom Tov time, I think back to those times that I was a young bochur, and it would be Yom Tov, and we would go to Yeshiva, and I would sit in a room with a few hundred people, and there was a massive tzaddik, talmid chacham, sitting in the front, inspiring us, and we would all sing together, and you just like walked out like mamesh floating, like you didn't realize you were walking out when that was over. You just were in another place. I don't have that opportunity today. I don't get to have that inspiration today. But I need to be Shimon. I need to be able to to listen, even if it's not right here, I need to remember how connected I felt. I need to believe in that connection. And that's what keeps me going even when I'm not feeling that connection. That's the the up and down of Yiddishkeit, the times we feel connected, and then it's Va'Yar Yisrael es Mitzrayim meis al sfas hayam, all of our doubts and all of our sfekos and lack of confidence and and worries and hesitations are gone because we just feel so grounded and so focused and so ready. And then we have And then we have the um um the times that I don't feel that in a visceral way right now. I don't feel it. I'm not feeling so inspired today. Am I the only one that has days like that sometimes? I'm not feeling Today I'm not feeling so inspired. But I'm going to still do what I do. It's not just about how I feel. I'm still going to do what I do. Because, you know, I I spoke recently to a to a guy about a shalom bayis thing. And um and he was struggling a lot. And he was making a decision if as part of as part of his whole malchus, I'm not getting into all the details, but as part of his malchus, maybe he should take some medicine for depression or whatever it was, okay? That was the conversation. So, he told me, I'm curious what you think about this, he's afraid to take medicine cuz it might make him feel so much better that he won't feel like he has to make changes in his life. He won't realize there's an issue in his relationship and there's things that need to be worked on. And if he's just so I don't know if he how why he thinks this medicine makes him feel so happy, but it's not I'm not telling him to go buy it on a street corner, you know? But but um but he's afraid he was afraid that like now without the medicine I see how terrible the situation is. But what if I'm not in so much pain then I'm not going to see how terrible the situation is that I might not deal with it as much. You don't hear that? >> He thinks he's more responsible when he's depressed. >> Yeah, because now he's going to do something about it. >> And he does something when he's depressed. Right. Usually when you're depressed you can't do much. >> Okay. >> you to feel better and function well. Right. >> The medicine will clear, I speak from experience, it clears your head so that you don't make the the decisions and the mistakes that he might be making so >> Yes, okay. Okay, trust me. I told him to take the medicine but but but but there was something more a lesson more that I heard from him that cuz he also I'll tell you something else that he told me that that inspired me. A great guy by the way. A very very very good special guy. I'm not putting him down at all. A very very very special good guy. I hope he calls me again. Like a very good guy. Um and he he um he was saying that like on some days he feels like emergency something needs to be done. And then he's very motivated to make phone calls and do what needs to be done. And on some days he he feels like it's okay. And then he's not as motivated to do things. What do you think about that? >> It's normal. >> What? >> It's normal. >> So, I think it's normal also. But I inspired him to think about something. I told him that the days that things are difficult and the days that things are good, that's isn't that the up and down of life? That's how life goes. Our job in life is to have a certain perspective that's not on a roller coaster. That when things are not so good, to remember, you know, there are good days also. And when things are good and going well, to remember we still have what to deal with here. There is a certain kind of seichel that goes beyond my emotional roller coaster every day. You know the type like you have like your your little child who you're not sure um if you should call someone to ask advice about it. Let's say you have a 4-year-old girl who's so chutzpadik. Okay? I'm just saying theoretically, okay? Let's say such a thing, okay? Let's say you have a 4-year-old she's so chutzpadik you don't know what to do. Maybe you should call a rav or a therapist or or or a teacher of yours. You you need to ask advice about this, okay? That's it. So it's it's Monday, you call you you leave a message by the rav. You're going to have a conversation with him on Wednesday. And then on Tuesday, your daughter is not supposed to be sick. So, you cancel the meeting. And then on Wednesday, your daughter is healthy again. So, you quickly call up. You need to have the meeting. Do you live like that? I hope not. Okay? No, you have to be able to say like, "Today was a good day, but I know tomorrow might not be such a good day. That's part of life. That sometimes there are good times, sometimes there are hard times. Sometimes things are easier, sometimes they're harder. And not to live so much in the roller coaster that when things are good, "What's the problem? My problems are over. I can't believe I ever thought I had any problems. Everything is wonderful." And when things are bad, "Life is just horrible. Things are terrible. I can't believe it. This is not a life. This is not a marriage. This is not a child. This is not a job. Everything is bad." Right? Emotionally we do that sometimes, we have to admit. Right? But our job is to have a certain sense, a certain intelligence where we could take a step back and be like, "Today's a hard day. Okay, but it doesn't mean life is horrible. Or today's a good day, doesn't mean I don't have things to deal with." Yeah, makes sense? That's what I told this guy also. Like, "Just because you're on medicine, so the emotions are easier. But there's also say so. Is there something I need to work on? You have to also, besides for the emotional roller coaster, you have to have an awareness. I'm saying something positive, right? You don't agree? >> I agree. >> You agree, right? That's That's the That's the goal. We don't always do that properly, but that is the goal. And I think with this Hashem, it's the same way. We cannot live a life of a roller coaster. When we're super inspired, all of our doubts are dead. It's good. I'm grounded. I'm inspired. This is amazing. This is wonderful. I'm on fire. Sometimes we don't feel on fire. That's it. I'm I'm done. No. We have a certain dance about us and we know, yeah, now is a little bit of a harder time. Schleich is yummy by mid for the matzo mayam. Three days in the desert without water. Yeah. I remember Krias Yam Suf. I'm not feeling that now. But I know what I experienced. I know how amazing it was and I'm going to remember that even now. And even if now's a dry spell, I'm going to remember that. And even if now I'm having a a little bit of a tough time and it's it's a little bit less on fire and a little bit less inspired. But I'm not going to live my Yiddishkeit that it depends on how inspired I am. It's one of the things our generation struggles with. That we like Well, it's almost like this, you know, like I don't know if you've ever had this in in your car. I hope not. Where there's like a hole in the tire, so you stop every 50 miles to put more air in. You like living like that, you know? >> Where's your spirit? >> That's not the it's not really a way to live, right? Okay, you can't do that. You fill your tire, it should be it should hold for a while. And that's the way our Yiddishkeit has to be. We can't look at inspiration as like Okay, then oh no, I have to get inspired again. We can't do that. We have to have a certain dance like terum tirum with Na'aseh v'Nishma Elokeinu. Like it's not only while the inspiration is going on that I'm inspired. I get my crazy inspiration times, I'm on fire, and then I hold on to that. And even if things are not so easy, I'm loyal. And I'm steady. And I keep at it. And that's the mida of the month ahead. The mida of there's no Yom Tov in the month ahead. Okay. Like by Omer has become a Yom Tov in in our generation. But there's no Yom Tov like Yom Tov Yom Tov. We have Shavuos coming in the end. Between Pesach and Shavuos, we learn to earn the madregas that we were handed on a silver platter on Pesach and we build ourselves. It's like um you walk with your baby as he's learning how to walk, right? And then you let go. And if you always hold on to him, it's going to be good that you walk next to him down the chuppah. You know? You can't always hold on to him. Do you agree? I could just borrow who does that for us also. He doesn't always hold on. He wants us to learn how to walk. Then when Shavuos comes, he picks us up in a hug again like you do when your son finally walks towards you and you grab him cuz he's so proud that he came that he walked. I could just borrow who does that to us on Shavuos. So let's try to be mahazik ourselves to be steady servants of Hashem. Not because we're boring or bland, but because we're stubborn. We love the inspiration, but we know that even on the uninspired days, we remember that inspiration and we know what we have to do. Okay? Yesh akoyach.