Can You Give Us Flags?

So a very interesting thing happened to me a few weeks ago. But the story really begins over 30 years ago. When I was learning in Eretz Yisrael before I got married, I was in a Yeshiva where the Rosh Yeshiva spoke every week by Shalosh Seudos, and he gave us over Torah like you could not imagine. I wouldn't miss a week. So I even if I would whatever wherever part of Yerushalayim I was in, I would walk an hour back to Yeshiva to be there for Shalosh Seudos. I never left Yerushalayim except one time. I had a friend that came and the Rebbe of his Shtiebel in Brooklyn was in Bnei Brak for Shabbos. He was a guest by his own father who was a Rebbe in Bnei Brak. And he asked me to go with him to Bnei Brak for Shabbos. I'd never been in Bnei Brak for Shabbos. So I went for that one Shabbos. Most people go to like for Panevezys or for some Yeshiva. I went for a Chassidish Rebbe of a Shtiebel from New York. And when I got there, I discovered that this Rebbe had a son-in-law who at the time I was about 21, he was probably in his low 30s, mid 30s the most. And he was a a young Rebbe, the kind of a Rebbe. And he was on fire. I as a 21-year-old, I was so taken by him. I told myself when I met him that this is either the single biggest faker I ever met or the most authentic person I ever met. And over Shabbos, I decided he was the most authentic person. He was just so on fire and there and present. And I decided I don't know where it is. I don't know how to do I'm going to figure it out. I'm going to have a Shalosh Seudos. I went to him for uh How you doing, Zacky? Welcome. I went to him for Shalosh Seudos. And I was left my friend alone. He wasn't so happy. And he said, it was parshas Bamidbar, Shabbos [clears throat] before Shavuos, and he said by that sholosh seudos, "Dvarim nifla'im." It was incredible. And it was so incredible that I remembered I remember it till today. And I year after year and after I became a rav, I would say it in shul, the Koidenover rebbe that I went to when I was a bochur, but there was a problem. And the problem was that he quoted a medrash. And as hard as I tried, I could never find that medrash. I searched the Medrash Rabbah and the Medrash Tanchuma and the Torah Shleimah, if you know what that is, a compendium of Medrashim. And then once we had the internet, we didn't have the internet then, once we had the internet, so then I used I did it you know, hebrewbooks.org, Otzar HaChochmah, Sefaria, I tried everything. I could not locate this medrash. Anyway, that was over 30 years ago. This year, a couple of months ago, I was like, "He gave me my answer." That's it. The guy exists. He said a medrash, he should take responsibility for it. So, I tracked down Moises Koidenover. I found that he has a shul in Bnei Brak and a shul in Tel Aviv. He does kiruv in Tel Aviv, which was very nice to hear. And I wrote him a letter. I wrote a letter to kvod kedushas Admor MeKoidenover. I didn't send the letter the way they used to, by putting it in a mailbox. I emailed it to his moisad and I said, "No limsor b'yado Admor shlita." And I wrote to him, "Lifnei yeser mishloshim shana, aniv oid bochur echad me'America, we were there by your father-in-law and um for a Shabbos in Bnei Brak and you were there. Uve'eis raiva d'raivin, which is the chassidishe way of saying sholosh seudos, we sat together with kvod kedushas Admor shlita to hear the great Torah. It was Parshas Bamidbar. It was a few days before Shavuos and I still remember your great Torah. It was about the digolum. It was beautiful divrei Torah. Om nom zeh kama shonim he pasty. This many years I was searching to find the medrish that you said. And oz ve ad olam from then until now lo he see limtza mikor. I couldn't find the source for the medrish. Um So I wrote um the nafshi v'sha'alasi im ani yochal ha'ez if I could have the chutzpah acharei zeh kama shonim after so many years ul'vakasha mikoro in yan sh'hayah li l'chizuk kol kach gadol. Okay? I didn't know if I'd ever get a response. But sure enough over bein hazmanim, a few days after Pesach, I got a letter from the Kaidener Rebbe. Also in an email. But I got a letter from the Kaidener Rebbe. Now the Israelis have this thing, they can't resist. Every time they hear Zaninshine, they change my name to Zaninstein. I don't know why. It's an Israeli thing. So it's written to Rabbi Yaisef Zaninstein Shlita. Which I think it means me cuz it says Rav U'Moirah L'Adassai B'Waterbury, Connecticut. >> [laughter] >> Okay? And then it says like this. It says I got your letter when at the time that you sent it, but I wasn't able to respond until now. Limtza'i l'masha b'keish limtza'i hamakor l'masha o'marnu b'eis riva d'rivan lifnei Yaisef M'Shlaishim Shana. And then he dropped a bombshell. He said, "I don't remember saying that it was a medrish." >> [laughter] >> Then he said, "Ela, however, you are right. I did say it. It wasn't a madrish, it was a de oak from a madrish. And he said the vert it was just as delicious this time around. And I want to share it with you. But I will just tell you a little postscript that this Wednesday I got an email from Moishe Skydell asking me if I mind if they reprint my correspondence with the rebel in their weekly newsletter. And I asked them for a copy and I thought I got it. They have a newsletter called Nira Or and it says "Michtav Shekiva Al Masli Me Rav Muflak Echad Me Artzeinu HaBrit." So it doesn't say my name but >> [clears throat] >> but they they learned the letter in Moishe Skydell. The the the Indian at the that we were talking about is Nagea as I mentioned to the Degolim that it says in >> [clears throat] >> it says you could see why they wanted the this It says in um in the pasuk in parshas Bamidbar which we lay in always right before Shavuos and for a good reason as we'll see. It says of parsha that was mesader the Klal Yisrael around the Mishkan with flags. "Ish Al Diglo Oisois LeBeis Avosav." Rabbeinu Bachya points out that Oisois the word Oisois aleph vav hey or aleph vav sof means a sign but it also means a tag desire. Like evil lemoisha v'lei taiva aleph vav hey. So leOisois means to their desire. What does that mean? So Chazal tell us Chazal tell us that when Klal Yisrael stood by Har Sinai my Kodesh Baruch Hu showed up at Har Sinai with tens of thousands of malachim as the pasuk says in "V'zaisa Bracha Osam MeRivevos Kodesh." He came with his tens of thousands of holy malachim and Klal Yisrael saw that they had flags. >> [clears throat] >> So, klal Yisrael wanted the flags. They had a ta'avah for flags. I don't know if you've ever had such a ta'avah, but they had a ta'avah for flags. "Nis'avu l'digalim", the Medrash says. This Medrash does exist. >> [laughter] >> Medrash says, "Nis'avu l'digalim". And you have to really, really, really, really stop and ask yourself a The best moshel I could think of is Imagine if we invite uh you know, somebody, you know, we invite Akiva to come back to Yeshiva. We want to give him We're going to give him a a gift because of his many years of learning in Yeshiva even after he graduated and even while he had a full-time job, and um and and he's going to he's going to he's going to We're going to give him a in a lucite box the size of this table a massive golden crown. Gishmack, right? Something for the living room when you get married, you know? Okay? And we have the workers bring in two workers this heavy golden crown. It's worth millions of dollars, and Akiva looks at it and he says, "Oh, thank you so much. But I noticed one of the workers was wearing a nice watch. Can I have that also?" That's the moshel. Hakadosh Baruch Hu is giving us the Torah. The Torah. Like, "Oh, wait a second, but I think the malachim had flags. I want a flag." But you're getting the Torah, you know? No, it's a good question. This is the issue. Enter the Koidenover Rebbe. Koidenover Rebbe says as follows. In Parshas Bamidbar and in Shir Hashirim there's a Medrash. And the Medrash says two peirushim on a pasuk, and the vort that I thought was a Medrash and really was a diyuk is from the fact that the two peirushim are mentioned in the Medrash. Those of you that are familiar with Medrash Rabbah know that sometimes there could be 10, 15 or [clears throat] even 20 um explanations on a possuk in the medrish, but it always says between each one davar acher and then it says another pshat. Davar acher and then it says another pshat. Says the kind of a rebbe there are two pshatim on this possuk, there's no davar acher between them. So that shows they must be they must be muchaber to each other. What is the possuk? The possuk is describing something magnificent. The possuk says that the umos ha'olam say to us, the nations of the world say, "Shuvi shuvi Hashulames." Says the medrish, "Shuvi shu, where are the shulames? Return to come to us, come to us." That the nations of the world tell us, "Leave your archaic Torah, come join us and we will make you princes and dignitaries and wealthy and famous and we'll give you as as all these titles that they that will have. Come join us and we will make you great." And Klal Yisrael responds, "No, I'm not coming." So the umos ha'olam says, "Ma techezu ba'shulames?" What do you see in your Ribono shel Olam? What do you see in your life that's so valuable that you don't want to come join us? We're offering you everything. So Klal Yisrael says, "Can mechilas hamachanoim?" Could you give us mechilas hamachanoim? What is mechilas hamachanoim? One pshat in the medrish is that it's the degolim, it's the flags. Machal is a circle, right? Mechilas hamachanoim is the degolim around the mishkan. And Klal Yisrael said to the umos ha'olam, "Could you give us degolim?" But again, you have to ask yourself, that's the big thing here? Degolim? And the second thing that they said is, "Can mechilas hamachanoim?" That mechilas is a loshon of mechila. Could you offer us a God that's moichel us the way Hakadosh Baruch Hu is moichel us, the way He was moichel us in the midbar, mechilas hamachanoim when we were machaneh in the midbar, could you find us a And those two things come together. And the Kaddish of a rebel wanted to understand, why do these two midrashim belong together? And he explained by bringing up a unbelievable clarification that the Shem Mishmuel says about the purpose of a flag. The Shem Mishmuel says that a flag, when you go to war, nowadays warfare works all differently, but in the back of the day when a war with two battlefields with soldiers facing each other, and each side would hold a flag. The closest we know from it is from Capture the Flag, but but that really is the best martial right now or if you play strategy, but um but anyway, but but but there's two flags on each side. The purpose of the flag is to help you not get lost. Because the battlefield is a very confusing place, and when you see your flag over there, you know, the good guys are there, bad guys are there. It orients you. The flag has another additional purpose, and that is that if you do get lost, you have something high up and distinct to look for to be able to try to return back. Okay? Says the Shem Mishmuel, you know what it means that class rule in the Sabbath of the government not that he would like my martial that you know that they notice flags that had nothing to do with Mount Sinai. This is what happened. This is something that's so important for us to know. Call Israel standing by our Sinai. I could just borrow who's the closest to them that I shall never been to a human being. He's sharing his everything with them. His right side and his desire, the reason he created the world. He's giving a known novice service he have is he's giving over have you have all his whole self. Could you break over ice a hot he's giving his whole self to call Israel. And we're the recipients. The class was was a very high my trigger they were retired themselves. They're getting rid of the hate of of of of of of other Mauricio and Paskus who are masters, the Gemara says in Shabbos 21 B, they're heading into a very high madrega. And they were terrified. Because we are not Malachim, we're human beings. And human beings, it's hard to stay on that madrega forever. And they were terrified. They were accepting this Torah. But what if we can't live up to the Torah? What if we slip and fall? What if we make mistakes? Then what's going to happen? And they looked and they saw the Malachim. The Malachim always have flags, they never get lost. Malachim don't have yetzer hara. When it says they saw the Malachim have flags, says the Shem Mishmuel, it means that they saw that the Malachim are always connected to their source. They never get disoriented. A Malach doesn't do an aveira. And they were jealous. They want We want to be like the Malachim. The Malach Look, they can hold a madrega forever. Can we hold a madrega forever? We get a high and then a low and then we get a high and then a low. And they wanted to be able to hold on. >> [clears throat] >> When Hakadosh Baruchu said I'm going to give you flags, Hakadosh Baruchu was hinting to Klal Yisrael that maybe you're not Malachim. And maybe you will slip and fall sometimes. But I'm going to give you the other pshat in a flag. You I always will let you come back home. The door will always be open for you to return back. The Torah will always be available to you. You'll always be able to connect. I'll always be mochel your aveiros. Says the Koidenau Rebbe, that's the two pshatin that fit together. The Klal Yisrael told the Umos Haolam, can you give us degolim that Hakadosh Baruchu is always mochel us? They two go together. Can you give us that beautiful relationship with Hakadosh Baruchu that even though sometimes we slip, even though sometimes it's hard to remain like our highest ideal, but the door is always open for us. That's why we the the title of the alum never is not a is not impressive to us. And that's the the that's the um that's the matana that claw you show is given. You know, the alum they have tinas on us, you know? Um they they they they say you you And this is what he had said then by the shallow shoulders. He said, "You could imagine the the guy went around to all the guy and asked them if they want the tire." And they said, "We can't live up to the tire. We're going to be over. So, therefore, we don't want it." He says, "And then the the guy could look at us and be like, 'Okay, so you took the tire, big talkers. Are you being in the tire? You also violated the tire. If you violated the tire, so we might as well have taken the tire.' It's a good tina." Said the Rebbe, "Yeah, but the guy didn't ask for the guy alum. The guy alum didn't say I want to hold on. The guy alum didn't say I'm with all my heart and soul I want to be close to you by the way. I want to have that tire relationship with you. And because we're the ones, that's the difference between us and the alum. Yeah, we all fall into our virus, but we beg to stay close. And I could have spoke who opened the door for us to be able to stay close. And I want to just suggest that there's another type of flag using a flag. They use the flag muscle. And that is that sometimes we plant a flag in a place that we're going to come back to there. I'm not ready to build that right now, but we're going to come back there. So, the United States planted a flag on the moon many years ago. They haven't made it back yet. They're on the way, but they haven't made it back yet. They did a fly by a few weeks ago, but they they're not they're not there yet. But we planted a flag. That's my market. I belong there. Maybe one day I'll build a house there. That's my garden. And even on Earth, you plant a flag, you you conquer something, you plant a flag. That's my place. >> But you don't live here. >> I'll get there. I'm just marking this [clears throat] as mine. And I think that maybe that's something a way for us to think about Yom Tov. When Shavuot comes, so sometimes people hesitate to be all in on Shavuot. It's like especially I'm not in Yeshiva anymore. Like okay, chill out. Like I'm you know, like that kind of like holding back because I don't feel the full you know, intensity of the relationship like I did when I was younger and life was much simpler. And what I want to say is that first of all, of course, the door is always open for us. But it's important for us to know the age of Hashem. We will be in this world for many, many years to come many healthy, happy years to come. And year by year, we will have this close and the opportunity to continue to build our relationship with Hashem and our relationship with his Torah. Don't go easy on the Yom Tov. Plant a flag. Make the night of learning Shavuot night as intense as anytime you ever learned. Make the learning on Yom Tov, the meals on Yom Tov, the the divrei Torah on Yom Tov. The take a project. So what if you're not a you know, a first year Yeshiva student anymore. Take a project for Shavuot. Learn something, accomplish something, get absorbed into something, plant a flag. Who knows? Who knows what that could lead to? It could lead to personally for me, Shavuot has been a wonderful, wonderful time to give me a a sense of belonging to the world of Torah. But even if I am going real high, I'm I'm I'm I'm learning with an intensity that doesn't reflect maybe how I my regular daily life is. Cuz I'm taking it up a few notches for Shavuot. There's no hypocrisy in that. and there's nothing to be uncomfortable about. That's what's called planting a flag. This is where I belong. I belong in the world of Torah. I belong in the world of intense Talmud Torah. I belong in the world of an intimate connection with Hakadosh Baruchu. Okay, some days I have a hard time getting there. Life is complex. Okay, but now you know where I belong. I planted my flag and that's the that's the degel that we carry with us. Hakadosh Baruchu should give us the koach to pull out of the Yom Tov all of its brachos. [clears throat] Asinu Hashem Elokeinu es birkas mayadecha as we say on Yom Tov. Hashem should help us to carry all of the um pack onto us all of the brachos of Yom Tov and we should be able to have the koach cuz it once we get a little bit older and we start be you know and we're busy and our lives become more complex, it takes more wisdom and more intuition and more cleverness even to know how to wire the Yom Tov with aliya. It's not as simple as when you just spend two full days as a sign downstairs, spend Yom Tov in yeshiva, it's very simple. But when when it's not that simple, so then we have to think about it before and make a plan and Hakadosh Baruchu should give us the ability to be able to pull out of Yom Tov everything that Yom Tov has to offer and to plant a flag in the world of Torah that we could hold onto and we could look towards as the Shem Mishmuel says to always be able to find a place to come back to. Yashar koach.