Can We Really Control Our Emotions? | Maamer U'sfartem 5711 #3

the yeshiva.net so we're going to begin again from if gimel open your source sheets it's page 66. we learned a few lines last time i'm going to do it again and this will be number three of the mind people were asking what happened to number three this will be number three i'm gonna repeat the lines that we learned in last class because there were some technical mishaps the key the key point was that represents our work with our animal consciousness with the long explanation naruto etc you can hear the first two classes on the mymurrosvart if we get more specific in the sublimation of the nephesha bahamas there are two elements there's what's called bird or bitter hamiddus there is working with the moisture of the animal soul mythin is its state of awareness the way it sees the world midas are its experiences of life its emotional experiences of life and that's why there were two stages there was bringing the aimer the carbon aimer and then there's the counting meaning the first thing that had to happen before spirit cymber was they had to cut that to harvest barley as i said in the first class the pasta says us the night before which means the night following the first day of pesach by us the second seder those in the diaspora they would harvest stalks of barley and those kernels worked the barleycorns were extracted grinded into flour that flower was refined and that flower then they took on a measurement right of the volume of 43 uh 0.2 eggs this is called the aimer the cayenne would uh would it's called it had to be waived lifted up there was of course the khmitsa which means the cayenne took a fist full of flour which was burnt on the altar the rest was baked as matza and the cayenne would eat it this is called the carbon either this was brought to zionists and in the morning it was harvested the night before from the day we bring the carbonyl we start counting 49 days including that day and we start counting at night because the terrorist says in parishes you start counting from when you lift up the sickle to the stalks to the standing grain and that's the night by night they would harvest it at night that's why we start counting at night so there's akravasimer hakrosum is bringing the carbon and the basal which is harvesting and then bringing it to the base amikture and burning it etc and then there's spherus armor the counting which will last for 49 days and by the way because there is an opinion in halacha that if you didn't harvest the barley at night you can harvest it in the morning therefore there's also an opinion that if you didn't count the aimer at night you could count it in the morning with a bracha because there's an argument about it therefore if you forgot to count at night you count the next day without a brahma because suffolk broke whenever you have a doubt to make a blessing you're not a blessing we take the lenient position you don't make because there's an argument if you could harvest the mirror during the day explains all this at length so the rebbe says here these two steps represent two stages in a person's work with their animals bringing the which means cutting the aimer and bringing it to the basement this represents working with the cognitive faculties with the levels of awareness with the moisture is the ideas means the brains of the animals of because what was this offering brought out of brought off it was brought off barley the only meal offering besides sight that was brought from barley was always brought from wheat why barley we explained before animal father why are you bringing an offering from animal father because the rep this message of sphere is i'm working with the animal inside of me but you're not just bringing any animal father you're bringing grain what does the gamora say in bracha's death about grain the toddler does not know how to pronounce and say father or mother until he or she begins to taste the taste of great so some explain the gemara to mean that after in the beginning when a child is nursing they don't pronounce they don't articulate any words there's no verbiage there's sounds no verbiage but later as they get a little older it could begin six months seven months eight months a year a little more sometimes it's delayed maybe two years the child already starts eating grain they're not only drinking they have the ability to eat grain so then you start saying father start saying mother but the truth is from the language of the gemara we learned at length about this in the mime before pesach if you remember that hazal see in eating the grain something that is connected to a certain development in the cognitive abilities of the toddler of the infant to the point that they could start saying father mother so dagon is representing the awareness the cognitive faculties of the animal soul so here we bring animal father but not just animal father the grain barley doggone so what does this represent hakra simon represents working elevating sublimating the moist in the awareness of my animal soul bahamas there is the moisture of the nephew of the bahamas this is the levels of awareness of the animal saul not the godly soul it's it's barley it's not wheat because the primary motif and the primary reference point of the animal soul is middles emotions so therefore even its motion its cognitive abilities are always vis-a-vis they are always connected to the middles shazam behind so that's why even the grain is animal father why because this is the motion of the animal soul which is unique it's not like the motion of the divine soul it's like the mind of an animal the mind of an animal is ultimately connected to giving it ideas about its survival about its existence about its comfort about how it feels it's not transcendent cognitive abilities of course that's why this connects to the miami we learned before pesach from the altitude from the balatanga first you eat matzah which represents mushkaini right like the zoya says matz is michelin the bread of the that's matzah then begins the carbon armor which is only the second day and like he said in the beginning of the miami you'd see this mitsuram is the gift from above mushreni draw me in then begins to avoid it with my animal soul because my name is not felt by my animal soul like we learned in beginning in the previous classes the first class ki barakam that to run away that to run away because the nephesh bahamas was still very very intense it was unmoved it was unscathed it was untouched the animal soul is still intense you have to run away you have to run away from who you have to run away from certain voices inside of yourself you can't deal with it because yeah you're asking what is this consciousness exactly of the nephew bahamas calling father so wait one moment wait one moment which represents again working sublimating elevating inspiring the motion of the animal soul now comes the counting this is already working with the midis says you count days you count weeks when you're dealing with working with the myth and you can do it in one day elevating the mushroom of the nephew obama's which are also connected to midis but they're making one day is enough they didn't bring the armor for 49 days it wasn't a carbon that continued for seven weeks it was a carbon that was brought one time to zionist and you're good but now starts to count the count of swedish leaders here it's not enough just a general sublimation which can happen in one day every meter individually from the seven midos every midday needs to be refined hence you can't do it in one day you need seven days furthermore the refinement has to be detailed you have to get into the nitty gritty of the middles lavar call me the vichy clueless to elevate each middle the way it encompasses all the seven middays because each middah if you dissect it it has within its seven dimensions like for example we have we have we have if the elevation would just be general it would be also more superficial and it wouldn't be relevant in a practical sense slowly in increments with your own initiative and your own power and for this you're going and dissecting the details of the experiences of the animal sulka if you should call me the columbia zion middles the way each middle encompasses all the seven days this allows a person to really delve into all aspects of their life and all experiences of their life as the pasik says in mishlai behold all your ways you shall know him the focus here is the emphasis is all your ways in other words really get a hold of behold all your ways and then what happens is that all the details the aspects of your life meaning your ongoing thoughts your words your actions become become aligned with your truest and most beautiful essence and purpose so let's some questions here so let's let's try to explain a little bit what what what we're learning here there's merchant and dismiss i hope that's clear by now what's in the emotion and with this is the way the animal soul looks at the world its philosophy so to speak its perspective how it sees life mid this is not how it sees life how it experiences life and you know the two are not the same i can explain to you something and you get it it's the way you see things you get it you understand it you may like it it resonates but the experience that may be very different because experience this is my actual emotional responses and triggers me this is a whole different world than my miken is cerebral mushroom is the way i understand it but my sibling yeah i get into the office i get home i'm triggered i'm angry i'm obsessed i'm overwhelmed i'm jealous i'm frustrated i'm full of anxiety and stress yeah but you just heard a beautiful sheer from rabbi huawei it's beautiful wasn't with my emotions so one day avoid the now one day doesn't mean it's a smaller void but one day avoid the means it's a shift in consciousness it's a shift in perspective a tattoo first you get it you get it to get to that day to get to that day you have to huddle to understand but once you understand you understand the nefarisha bahamas could start seeing the world from a more elevated perspective and that's very big that's amazing that's akravasaimer you cut the barley you extract the kernels you grind it into flour not a small not a smaller vita you put it in the sieve 13 sieves to filter it to refine it it has to be uplifted it has to be waived as we've learned that you don't obliterate the animal soul you have to lift it up and then there's kamitsa the cayenne takes a fistful part of it is burned part of it is eaten that's the carbonymour all of this is working with the animal father but it's doggone duggan means it's grain grain the gemura says is connected to maichem what's the difference of the animal soul and motion of the divine soul the divine soul essentially is connected to the animal soul essentially is connected to midis even the animal souls mayhem is part of the midis and even the divine souls middles are part of the muslim why the animal like every animal its focus is one thing its focus is yeah what's for breakfast i don't know if you ever saw videos you ever went to the jungle and watched yeah packs of of animals packs of wolves yeah families of lions or those who share a lot of our dna chimpanzees chimps gorillas monkeys fascinating fascinating yeah but what's the focus the focus is what's for breakfast what's for lunch what's for dinner and you sit you groom each other there's a certain gesh there it's a simplicity now some people believe that all humans were like that we were all foragers and just focusing on breakfast lunch and supper and the truth is sometimes we are like that right i sometimes go to a hotel for a program the big question is when is lunch after lunch where's the tea room after the tea room when is dinner after dinner when is breakfast because we all we share a lot of dna with chimps 99 of our dna we share with chimps the question is when is breakfast nevada when is breakfast before lunch okay that's the question it's not a bad question it's just an animal question it's not a bad question in fact the gemara says in brochures you have to feed the animal before you feed yourself yeah in other words the focal point of the animal is self-preservation self-gratification there's an expression in one of them a behemoth never sees heaven it's not part of its vocabulary the godly soul asks different questions the godly souls it's a piece of hashem so it looks at the world from the divine perspective it has antennas to other questions it's looking for meaning it's looking for purpose it's looking for transcendence it's looking for oneness and you know what we have both we're animals and we're divine that's the beauty and the challenge of a human being sometimes i operate on one level of consciousness and all i'm asking is when is breakfast when is lunch when is dinner whatever that means in my life it could be breakfast lunch and dinner or it could mean anything else that focuses merely on the here and the now the gratification comfort survival it's a very normal thing it's part of who we are so even animals are brilliant they have great cognitive abilities brilliant memories emotions intelligence but the intelligence of the animal is called moisin language it's a din in the middle it's it's a gether in the middle in other words in order to obtain breakfast they don't call it breakfast in order to obtain breakfast you have to use your mind you have to sometimes be sharp and be fast and be alert and you know how the chimps figure out how to use the tools in order to get to the ants and to the maggots and to the knots and to the sugar and to the honey every animal has its motion it has its intelligence its brain what is the brain focused on the brain is focused on a way of nurturing your experiences of fulfilling your cravings your desires your instincts whatever they are and that sends by us as well human beings are very sophisticated we have unbelievable motion and with those mushrooms you can create museums and create adventure parks and create airplanes and create all of the amazing technology that we have created over the last few thousand years especially the last 100 years but essentially if the mushroom is just serving the purpose of my animal consciousness it's called the mayhem are all there just to serve me this they can't transcend themselves they're just there to help me facilitate whatever my emotions are and they'll just figure out the best way to do it they never shall it is it's my have the ability of abstraction transcendence to ask the ultimate questions so it's a very different type of muefin and therefore the bitter of the nephrosha bahama is the first thing is bitter american how it sees the world the animal sees the world like an animal sees the world it's very much focused on what you would call today in neuroscience the limbic brain the amygdala of the brain the limbic brain the part of the brain that's that's responsible for survival fight or flight or the part of the brain that's responsible for emotions very very important parts of the brain those are like the foundations but not the prefrontal cortex which has the ability to be able to look at things from long-term perspective to be able to delay gratification to be able to appreciate morality empathy to be able to see things long term to be able to see things in the grand picture the ability for transcendence those parts of the brain are physically associated with different levels of consciousness and in the general terms you're dealing with the animal soul versus the godly soul so akravasa aimer is helping aligning helping to align my animal souls perspective with the godly souls perspective helping my animal look at the world from a more broad space from a more expansive space the world is not a scary place where i have to only survive the world is a place of oneness the world is a place of godliness the world is a place of ain't scythe now comes in midday this is the actual experience not how i see the world how i experience the world this is not a share anymore you can't do this in one day now you should have to work with your mid to see what's going on and you got to get into the details what's triggering you how do you respond to things when your wife tells you something how do you react when your husband tells you something how do you react emotionally how do you react emotionally to your children how do you react emotionally to your parents to your siblings to people ensure the people in the supermarket the people in the office to strangers on the plane how do you react when you're calling the irs or you're calling your insurance company my god huh the middles is already my emotional day-to-day experiences of the world this i need to work on i need to work on now the middays are always connected to the market because awareness is ultimately what results in my emotional experiences right every emotional experience is a result of a certain awareness whatever that awareness is conscious or unconscious revealed or not revealed but this is always a result on some level of there's no emotion in the world there's no experience internal experience in the world that's not fueled by some type of awareness that awareness may be embedded very deeply in me that's why the first step is that's a spherocyme is 49 days now i'm working with every single middle in detail one week dedicated to hesed one week dedicated to guru and then tifares netsuck this week netsuke and then and then malcolm and each one needs to be dissected because now you want really a full-fledged spiritual therapy work with your animal soul yeah the answer so the answer is the answer to this is great question how do you do this and what's the difference in mushroom the first avoider is much less vulnerable the avoidable is much less vulnerable because it's dealing basically with perspective it's dealing with cerebral levels of reality which is very important it's trying to understand things but mid-ice is actually tuning in and noticing and focusing on my experiences of reality there are people that on a cerebral level they are very very good they mean well and they're wonderful and they and they have their mind in a wonderful place but nobody ever helped them work on their meters yes yes yes exactly it requires the discipline to notice of how i'm reacting how i am experiencing things in other words how my animal soul lives my animal soul is is pulsating with emotions it's always experiencing life you know animals are intense also and we don't want to run away from our animal soul because what did we learn in the previous year naruto the divine soul gives to the animal soul but the animal soul says one of the great tradition one of i shouldn't say one of the great emphasis in this especially that the animal soul gives to the divine soul it's not just the ant the divine soul gives to the animals there's something about the animal soul as i said the narruza the the quality of the intensity of it the power of it the the vigor the energy the electricity of it that the divine soul needs or as we learned in other mind marium that animal soul comes from tohu the divine soul comes from tikkun tuken everything is structured and toyo everything is chaotic but that chaos has something very powerful to it so by working with the animal soul and yes by becoming a weir not just of the mayhem so akravasayamura is muslim srirachaemir is is is first taste how was breakfast by the way oh by you it's already dinner okay so you already had breakfast the americans didn't have breakfast yet yeah i agree i agree the feedback loop between machine and midis makes so much sense ultimately then to be human or a spiritual person is to lead with the mayhem yes and hence the system of the bellatania is called but not to amputate the midis what happens sometimes is we amputate the middles we repress our emotions we don't deal with it and we there's a reason for it it gets ugly it gets dirty midas are messy they're gooey is that the word gooey they're messy you know there was a philosopher he once said that family life nietzsche nietzsche he once said that's fair i don't remember the quote exactly what has said that family life is is so messy and it destroys your life and he said it's very good to have family from a far distance and and this is a tragedy of his words because what he meant was of course it's messy any relationship that's close is messy maybe there are some exceptions but you have to work through yourself the other person has to work through themselves and you have to interact it's constant work when you get to the level of midis there's a lot of avoid and it's constant you peel one layer of the onion there's another layer of the onion it's not serious aroma once in your life and then you're done so that's the difference between and sweet b now here we come to an extraordinary piece in the mimer where he's going to quote a in halacha known as the view of it's not very well known but he's going to quote it here and give it a very powerful interpretation this is the view of rebellion that is a difference between the mitzvah of counting days and the mitzvah of counting weeks there's a very fun there's a fundamental difference between the two let's see what he says yes i'm named as an opinion there's an opinion that even in the time of exile when there's nobody the mitzvah of sriracha is a biblical obligation this is the view of the rambam in hillchr [Music] skim and what's the what's the argument between them parashat it says you have to count from the day you bring the carbon so the opinion of thai swiss is if you're not bringing the carbon there's no mitzvah sphere the rabbanan said we should count to remember the way it was the base of it just like we do other things we do the sandwich by the say this we shake lulu of seven days of sukis not only the first day even though they used to not do it only in the basement again one of the things we do we remember the way these students and by the way that's why right after the bracha and counting what do we say in many in many cahill is what is said at filla what's that after you put on citrus the answer is because filling is with their iso today and synthesis success eating much of the first night of the night but spherus can't be there's no car there's no iron man there's no armor there's no spirit saw in there so tyson says why do we count today it's a mitzvah rabbana the rambam disagrees the rambam says clearly it's a mitzvah's estimated even when there's no base why because the mitzvah is not dependent on the carbonimer the mitzvah begins on the day when they brought the aimer the question is how you learn the words according to twice versus from the day you bring it that's when you count in other words you have to bring the aimer in order to have the obligation to count the ram says it's just a simmon it's just a date when do you count on the day that they brought the aim but even if you're not bringing the mirror there's the day when you're supposed to bring the lamer and that's the zionist and the mitzvah of counting still applies this is a huge mahika and it has of course many ramifications if spherus is made it's a different level than of switzerland this is a very famous argument between the rambam on one side tyson's on the other side the balatani and shalhanra and swedish and tough tests discussed as this mahalik is at length but then there is another shita another and this is the of rabbenu what's the so i'm going to read it to you here he has a fascinating let's see it in the mirror and then i'm going to quote it to you from the original because i'll be kidding there's a big difference between the counting of the days and the counting of the weeks what's the difference counting of days even today is minatera counting of weeks is only medina what's up saying he says like this so he says something brilliant says that in the torah there's two parties it says shiva shavu is tisparloch you should count seven weeks it also says mr so one passage speaks about shiva shabu is this black you should count seven weeks is mentions weeks it mentions the carbon either when the turtle mentions days it doesn't mention the carbonimen so he says spherus even now this is only when there's a carbon either this is the view of remaining remaining lived in the 13th century in france and spain he was one of the russian so he says it depends which counting we're talking about the days of the weeks the counting of the days is biblically mandated even today the counting of the weeks is only a rabbinic mandate so he's like a combination a hybrid between the first two opinions because he says like the rambam it's a biblical mitzvah account right but only days in the time of the base i mean the mitzvah was to count days and weeks today the mitsubina toyota's only days the rabbis added weeks why what's the logic because when the toyota tells us to count the weeks it says it in the context of the umer offering weeks you need the armor but when the trader says to count the days it says so independently of the offering so even without the omer there's still a mitzvah to count 49 days so what would this mean practically we do both we count days we can't wait for example we say today is seven days which is one week today is eight days which is a week and a day today is nine days a week in two days says when you say today is seven days that's a mitsubishi when you say seven days which is one week that's only a mitzvah upon them time of the day thursday when both men are tired it's very very strange what's the havana in this the view of the rambam and tysons is clear either the entire obligation is biblical or the entire obligation is rabbinic but the split that abhinav makes seems so strange why would attorney make this differentiation why would it deny us the opportunity to count the weeks during exile but still obligate us to count the days even when we're lacking we know he brings good proof brings excellent proofs kvaldik but we're trying to understand the back end program alpinister what's the havana that the reborn of shalom would say there's nobody continue to count days but no weeks that only the rabbis introduced you to shyla so it's a big pella what's how do you explain this we're not asking we're asking on how why would the tournament make this split like god says you want me to count you don't want me to count yeah i want you to count days but i don't want you to count weeks when there was a basement i wanted you to count weeks also what's the havana that to count weeks you need a carbon and to count days you don't need a carbonimer you could do it even after the basamektus that's the question based on this whole mindman he says we'll be able to understand very well what abner is saying i just i'd like to give some history so people know who this is so i'm just going to say who he was his father's name was mushulam rebbenu he was born approximately 1290. he passed away approximately 1350. he was a prominent sage rabbi in paisak during the period of the rashinum he was born in province in france as i said 1290 in 1306 after the jewish expulsion from france he moved to toledo spain during this time of his life he became a student of the rosh rabbenu ben yahil the great rash who lived in toledo he was the rebbe of rabbani in the year he began writing his work safer may sharim on civil law he completed this work in four years at the end of his life he wrote his main halachic work which i've been quoting now known as seifer told us the offspring of adam and java and various components of allah have been codified in sh in the name of rabbini you will see him quoted this is disrebending europe he greatly influenced the basiasif rabbi yes of and therefore he's ex quoted extensively by the author of the shogunates of cairo both in the as well as in his commentary base joseph on the tour so here the explains the depth behind rabbeni now listen to the vart the yash was at the last line based on what we explained we'll understand the difference counting the weeks let me ask another question what's this what's this idea of counting the weeks if you're counting days i want to ask you a question how brilliant do you have to be to figure out that 14 days is two weeks what's the point the gemara says because the passage says both it says to count 50 days and it says to count seven weeks so we do both why one seems superfluous if you tell me that today is two weeks and one day i know that it's 15 days you tell me that today is 15 days i know that it's two weeks and one day choose what do you have to do both stam the number says no it's too different avoid this the counting of the weak is dealing with the core of the middle the claws amid getting to the essence of it the counting of the days is dealing with the protein with the manifestations it's a very different avoider when i take on a week i'm taking on hesset to ferris nets i'm getting to the core energy of my hesed my guru mighty first counting the days is kasich it's the way it's manifested it's the way it the way it's branched off and the way it's expressive in my thoughts behaviors and actions this is practical how it's affecting your thoughts words and behavior this you have to be in control of always [Music] counting the weeks is already a more powerful spiritual consciousness where you're dealing with the whole media not necessarily the way it's affecting you practically even though it has a superior quality to the void of counting days even chazelle bidder and hamidah should be closer to the nightly i said because you're actually getting in to the whole general energy of the middle east weeks we can't be valid is avoidable yeah yeah yeah i'll explain i'll explain this is serious stuff this is serious stuff there's a huge difference between now they'll tune in here because this is it's not just it's not just relevant it's it's first of all it's it's very rich but it's also extremely relevant for life okay what what what is what is that ever teaching us here in the bitter you can't hist the counting of days to the counting of weeks it's two completely different dividers so so so let's understand what this means the first week we focus on we focus on the love in our life that's it the second week we focus on gura that's the void of spherosaurum right we're counting these seven weeks we're going through a process of healing of recovery of alignment focusing on one of the seven emotions of our life examining it refining it fixing it aligning it with our divine emotions with our divine core with our infinity so the first week let's say we focus on love do i know how to express love do i know how to receive love do i love others do i love myself do i know how to love the second week i focus on gura my capacity for boundaries do i know how to create boundaries do i know how to discipline do i know how to discipline myself because all discipline comes from disciplining yourself so tell them why twice before you rebuke somebody else you have to first rebuke yourself to make sure it's coming from a healthy place to make sure that your boundaries are in order so the second week i focus on guru do i know how to create and maintain proper borders the third week we focus on tifares what's the fairest my ability for empathy do i know how to empathize teferes is compassion do i know how to be here for someone else on their terms not mine the fourth week we focus on nets my ability to triumph in the face of adversity natsuki's victory do i know how to win do i have ambition do i know how to follow through with my ambition the fifth week our ability to express gratitude that's void show vulnerability admit mistakes do you know how to admit mistakes anybody any of the men know how to admit mistakes the sixth week our ability to communicate on by on bond the seventh week our skills as leaders am i confident enough to lead malhus do i know how to be a leader do i know how to lead do i possess inner dignity is my leadership driven by insecurity by egotism by narcissism i'm just giving one translation of the seven middles the way we work on it but there's a difference between days and weeks what's the difference when we focus on days what are we focusing on we're focusing on how each one of these traits is divided into seven in the seven and guarantee seven and deference the seven etc each of these seven traits is expressed in our life in various thoughts and various words and various deeds so during the seven days of each week we focus each day on another detail of this middle we focus on another particular expression of this trait in our lives so the weak count represents tackling the core of the emotion that they count represents not tackling the core of the emotion but how it expresses itself in my daily life in my behaviors in my thoughts and in my words so here is the difference when i say today is one week of the ima today is two weeks of them what am i saying today i managed to tune in to the full scope of that emotion transforming it and healing it at its core that's what the weak represent it's taking everything of hesset because the weak means all the details of hassan and getting to the sum total to the sakhakal to the thompsons to the quintessence what he calls your bitter close amidah i tackle the midday at its core and i align it with my divine essence that's the bidder of the week one second one said listen every once in a while you hear what you may call a miracle story you know somebody who is struggling with an addiction for many years and they have a deep insight or they go through a therapeutic program and they come out healed they touched such a deep place within themselves that it transformed their life the addiction is gone the anger is gone the jealousy is gone like a child who's being toilet trained at one point he stops entertaining the idea of using a diaper he never uses it again he matured so there's a possibility of counting weeks of completely transforming a particular emotion weeding out the distortions you're not dealing with a detail of hazard with a detail of guru no that's that's yeoman shavua is you're taking all the details of the midnight and you're capturing the weak which means the totality the holistic organic oneness of the media and you're transforming it but to be honest that's a very unique and rare experience so we have the second model of self-refinement what's the second model the second model is the day model what's the day model i'm not always capable of the weak model but i'm always capable of the day model what does this mean what's the difference so deepinion okay i'm driving my car okay i approach a red light someone is in the back seat screaming go take the light take the light we got to make it take the light the guy is screaming in your ear it's annoying but you're the one behind the wheel will you take the light or not take the light hopefully you won't i he's screaming that's fine but you say i'm by the wheel he is an alien voice he doesn't understand the consequences he's a stranger he's bringing up a ludicrous and dangerous idea i can't stop the screaming but i can identify it quarantine it put it in context of where it belongs and hold on to the wheel and do the right thing but what happens if when i hear the voice take the light i decide that it's my rational mind speaking to me this is my intelligence speaking to me it's very hard to say no because this seems like a rational approach the same is true with all of our emotions and thoughts even when i'm being emotionally hijacked i have the wheel in my hand i may not have the ability to transform the urge i may not be able to stop the screaming of certain thoughts but as long as i can identify that this thought or this emotion is not my essence and it's coming from a part of me that's insecure and unwholesome i don't have to allow that emotion to define me and to control my behavior that's called the day model not the weak model so that lebanese says this is the bitter of the claudius amida and is the bitter of the pratt the way it's expressed in avoidability one is a person who really goes through an inner transformation my middle is changed it's a different meter that's the weak you can really get to the core of your asset all the details that produce your media and transform it the day is take one day take guru shabbat it's the way that hesed is being manifested so now a person could look at their life and focus on what their middles are doing to them what type of thoughts words actions they're triggering and i could say you know what i may not be able to change the middle but i have completely control what's happening with the steering wheel will i scream will i not scream will i space out will i remain present will i detach will i remain attached will i engage in conversation or will i run away emotionally to new zealand and china will i fall apart and get angry at the whole world or will ident well i identify that as a backseat driver called the animal soul and it's very very scared and when my child said this to me i was overwhelmed from fear and i went crazy but you know what it's a backseat driver and i turn to the animal and i say tired and tired of chimpanzee you're a good guy and you're very scared but there's really a deeper vision here and therefore we're going to express ourselves differently the way i'm going to respond is going to be this way i may not be tackling the core of the mid at its essence but what i am dealing with is how it affects my life how it affects my thoughts my words my actions my interactions with others comes says that today there's no mitzvah in ontario to count weeks only to count days in the time of the bassam mikters when you could bring the carbon to the basement there's the carbonyl then there was a mixture of the count weeks also today you don't have the kayak necessarily to count weeks there are bonons said you should still count weeks we still always want to try to go as deep as we can but what's the midst of the pile the mitsubishi is only on counting days true to count weeks is a much higher avoider because you get to tackle the whole middle in its cloud you get the whole picture the full picture and you can just transform it but that's not the vada that's ultimately nigea and mice and a pile what's negaya and myself what's relevant to your practical behavior is counting days not counting weeks says counting days today is biblical counting weeks is only rabbinic is it clear even you don't have questions if you don't have questions it must be clear you understand you understand the verb very very rich of art very rich verse sometimes people feel that healing has to be complete the whole mid has to be transformed if you could gevaldic we're in if you could change the whole middle around if you click the whole middle acid and realign it the whole guru the whole fair is the whole night that's the week the week is you tackle the mid from all directions from all angles you get to the thompsons of it because you have all the seven days right you get like to the core to the gym to the to the core of it that's bigger clothes transformed kevaldic but don't demand this from yourself don't feel guilty that's the word people feel guilty they feel i'm not good i'm not doing spirits with holds everything is you know you really have to appreciate the limitations rambam holds everything is mina taylor rabbini says weeks you can't feel guilty don't beat yourself up that today you don't always have the energy to change the gunsmith the middle he can't we don't have the kayak but you do have the kayak to be in control of how the meda gets expressed and manifested in the details of your life how i speak to people how i react to people how i live how i behave and how i think i the animal soul is screaming afraid okay you have a backseat driver who's hollering and frightened and screaming hold on to the steering wheel as long as you can identify where it's coming from with compassion that's fine ah you say i already did my is maybe cerebral but my experience has not changed i'm still being triggered this is where you need to be able to appreciate the difference of day the day model and the weak model the day model is the way it applies to your thoughts your words and your actions and as he puts it in the mind this is something that could be and has to be always during the besamiktas and during galas and that's why the key of the obligation to count days even bisman you want to know how do we explain the rambam he doesn't say but it could be that the rambam who was the ultimate balmoishin and believed in the power of the intellect felt that you could do even weeks and this appreciated perhaps the harsh realities of the traumas of exile and said you have to try but even the toyota is not obligating you because there are so many pitfalls perhaps i'm not saying this as a in an authoritative way because the mind doesn't say it i don't have the authority to say that you have to know how uh my modern works he's not always explaining every every side he's just giving he said this miami gives perspective to what rabbenu says how take it fits him with this and you have to know he doesn't say it in the miami so you know everybody could speculate on their own i don't have the ability to say what toys has felt about this because it's a sensitive thing but this gives us differentiation is not spam you know it's like almost stubbornly weeks yeah and and and weeks not and days yeah there's uh there's a theme behind it there's a there's a big theme behind it right the rambam and tyson say it's either or either it's all rabbinic or it's all rabbini brilliantly analyzes the sukkam and he shows that where it says weeks it always mentions the carbon einer and when it says days it does not mention the carbonimer somebody says it seems that you need to tackle the days before you can tackle the weeks perhaps perhaps it's also important to emphasize that this miami is explaining the of meaning that ebb is not saying that you could never be movado you're weak he's not saying that the weak model is inapplicable that there's no media that you can tackle and transform of course you may and that's why the rabbis obligate us he's just explaining the view of rebel don't make this an obligation when terror gives an obligation it means that you're capable of doing it if you i can't tell you to do something and you're not capable so he's just explaining why courtroom in europe it's not a minatora to do but of course there's many situations where a person could also really make a change in their uh in the class i think that's it i'm going to wish you all a beautiful shabbos we're going to resume this mimer hashem on monday morning 7 30 a.m have a wonderful day no both are very important is the fixing of the mayan is really helping refine my perspective but that's on a perspective level how i see things but as you know you can explain it to me and i can understand it and it's important because without that there's no change but then in reality i'm just triggered and i'm not in control and that's where i have to work on my responses on my middays like what's happening inside of me like why did you just space out you know i'll give you an example in a marriage some couples right they have a wonderful conversation they understand each other it's amazing and then something happens a day later she says something he says something and boom and you're like in different worlds what happened it was so geshmak yesterday the answer is don't beat yourself up this was my this was midas you had a wonderful conversation you understood each other you appreciated each other but then something happened that triggered you emotionally maybe it's a memory maybe it's a trauma maybe it's a repressed experience maybe it's something you're scared of so in your mind you're good you have no issue if somebody would ask you advice about the situation you'd be able to preach for two hours you know sometimes i find it humorous about myself people will ask me advice about situations with children or with spouses or with themselves or with this and i have right away what to say i have what to say and it's wonderful they love it then the same situation happens to me and i'm like i don't have what to say anymore what's the difference the difference is in other words on a cerebral level i have a lot to say makes a lot of sense but then and yet this is an expression a saget alignment when it hits your own kishkas you know when it goes into your own navel it's a different set of rules now you know i'm upset i'm frustrated i'm angry i'm melancholy i'm down yeah but you gave a beautiful somebody once called me and said you know you should listen to the sheer that you gave on this and this they'll be very helpful i used to teach in borough park for many years in heiheilmann bar but we had a sunday morning class in tanya it went on for six years and i taught it when i was a bocker when i was i wasn't married yet i started to teach a sunday morning class and uh it was not it was again i was not i was not interested in doing it i was a yeshiva book i didn't see this as my vocation but somebody was nudging me and driving me crazy from aaron ginsberg from borough park so i started and it was barak hashem successful and after a few years into the class probably like three years or so i got married so i remember somebody came over to me so the series they called the series a tale of two souls somebody came over to me and said by the way if you need good marriage advice you should listen to those classes a tale of two souls but the challenge is that mayfin is beautiful and motion is important because moishen sets our head straight moisen gives us focus it gives us perspective but the real work of life is midas real work of life is made this not take away maison is the foundation it's a prerequisite khabad is not mavato at all for cat that's all but the ikea is the main thing is mr smith this is who you are not how you see the world that's all good important it's the foundation but who you are as a person you know what what are your actual relationships like what are your emotional experiences and responses that's a whole different world that's the real world that's the real messy world that's the as i said the gooey it's gooey it's like what's really happening it's putting my middles under a radar and it's really a very beautiful distinction akrava simon and assignment you know puts it gives perspective does mice and control me this great question the answer is yes and no of course right on one level maison is very influential because every media is based on an awareness so you change awareness you affect your midis in psychology there's the big model that was very successful for many years and still successful often not always cbt can what's cbt cognitive behavioral therapy based on the idea that our cognitive awarenesses of life will affect our responses however today we know that there's a lot of things in a person that even if i give you wonderful awareness it's not going to change it because the middays are rooted in the source in a deeper place than maison just like the animal soul source in a way is higher than the divine soul ace of sources higher than yaakov and toyo is higher than tikkun midis is rooted in a very very deep place in the soul so even though it needs moisture to mentor it and to parent it and to guide it but it has its own very very deep root and you have to respect that and sometimes we need different processes in order to deal with it so we have to be open to both truths making controls middles and a lot of middles you can help through making but there's stuff especially what we call today trauma that mayhem is not going to do the trick it just won't do it you see people they're wonderful they mean well you could give them every lecture in the world and they hear it and they understand it but in reality they're just they lose it the triggers are so deep because it did not it did not get internalized through a cognitive rational process it was it became entrenched in their body and in their psyche in a very primal way maybe when they were very young in a way they couldn't process it intellectually and rationally so there's no way i can get it out that way that's why there's a lot of different models and we have to be open to all of that and that's part of what he's saying about the weeks even if your mother can help you for the days there may be stuff on a core level that you're not getting out you're not getting rid of yet you need a special kayak i do have to say that since we're getting closer and closer to the goula when we're going to have the carbon either so therefore there's more and more kayak to count not only days but also weeks we get closer to that stage in life okay i wish you all an amazing day both in counting days and even in counting weeks start with counting days but let's be ambitious come on foreign [Music] it's a pleasure to have all of you and azerbaijan says it's a privilege and a pleasure to have each and every one of you thank you for gracing us with your presence have a beautiful day right it's it's it's true breathing is dr ebba says breathing is the the bridge in many ways between awareness and our visceral visceral reactions which in many ways is connected to our middles it helps i think it helps ground us it helps neshama the word neshama comes the word neshima breathing the meadow says every breath creates a weirdness every breath is is an invitation for praise for a chant every time you breathe it's an opportunity for a chant somebody asked the text of today's sheer was page and page 67 in the source sheets we started on the top of 66 and we did the first half of 67 as well okay everybody this class is brought to you by the yeshiva.net please help us continue the classes make even a small contribution at www.theyeshiva.net donate