Bonei Olam Event - Rabbi Shlomo Farhi

ladies and gentlemen tonight is a very important night and it's like those moments in your life that you don't know how important they are until some later point where you look back and realize that that night was the most important moment most important night of your life all you did was you went to a party and then you saw your wife all you did was you shook hands with someone in a coffee shop they became your lifelong business partner it started off like a regular day but that day would be the day that would change your life tonight is a night that will change lives a night that couples will be able to point backwards to in time and say it was on that night in the house in the welcoming home of David and Monique haded that the money was raised to be able to give us a chance to build a family tonight has the possibility of being those children's most important moment night of their lives and with that opening I want to share with you a story I did a pesak program this year and a woman tells me have I got a story for you and she tells me the following story a story that I knew I was going to put in my pocket and I knew I was going to tell it to you tonight I've got permission from her to tell you her name her name is Keda bro her husband's name is David and in 2004 in his third year of law school he and his wife were barely making ends meet and they were living dayt day off of his school and his student loans well they tried and were unable to have children and realized that they would need the help of IVF they found out in October of 2004 that the price back then was $10,000 they went to the student loan office and said is there any way that we could take out $110,000 and the student loan officer said I'm really sorry all you have left for this ter term all I can give you is $5,000 if you want the other 5,000 for this project you'll have to wait until the new term until January she took the money put it on the side it was half of what she needed to be able to hopefully have her dream but then one night KVA gets a phone call and it's her brother and he's calling from Israel and he saysa you know this girl I know for a while I love her I've decided I want to marry her and I want to propose but I don't have enough money for a ring and I told her that I want to propose but that I don't have a ring and her grandmother offered to give me the diamond for the ring what do you think I should do and KVA said to her brother she says you can't propose to a girl with a ring that you got from her she says you know I have five ,000 I have a connection I'll bring the money to the guy I'll ask him to copy my ring and you'll use that ring and that's how you'll get married but you have to promise me one thing promise me you'll get me my 5,000 back in January what a sister she tells her brother it's taken care of don't worry I got you the brother's so excited he's so happy he tells Hera it's 1:00 in the morning but I'm so excited I got so much energy you pump me up I want to go right now to the Cortel and I'm going to pray to God that you and David should be able to have a baby he did not know why KVA and David who was struggling for cash had five grand put aside he did not know nobody knew because they had not told anyone that they needed IVF or that they needed fertility treatments they didn't need the pressure they didn't want the questions at every event at every family Sim people knew that they wanted to have a family but nobody knew more than that and now she definitely wasn't going to tell him because then he would never take the money well she gets the ring he comes back home and they fly to Miami for the engagement and she sees the ring that she paid for that she arranged on the sister on her sister-in-law's finger and she thinks to herself what have I done that's my baby what if my brother can't get the money back to me what if what if what if she was terrified but she flew back home after that engagement party and not 24 hours after she gets home does she get a phone call and the other side of the phone is a rabbi and the Rabbi says hi I'm calling you from Bon is thisa bro she says it is what's bonam he says Bon is an organization that helps people who need fertility with the funds that they need to be able to have a baby an anonymous donor called in a $10,000 donation for you to have a full cycle of IVF she can't believe what she's hearing but she says who is it I need to know he would not give her secret she threatened not to take the money still the rabbi protected the anonymous donor's identity until he says which Clinic are you using or were you going to use and they transfer $10,000 to Duke University clinic in 2004 at the end of the December well my friends she didn't know who it was she figured it might be her brother's parents-in-law who maybe found out about the ring and felt bad but she went ahead with the treatment in late January her brother brought back the $5,000 but by that time she didn't need it because Midway through January David and Andra bro found out that they were pregnant thanks to Bon my friends their daughter Miriam was born on August 29th 2004 almost exactly nine months from that phone call she'd put herself second she'd worried about someone else so God worried about her it was only later my friends that kedra found out out that that Anonymous donor was not her brother-in-law her sister-in-law's parents but rather it was one of her own friends who'd found out that she was struggling and decided to donate the money for her a friend that felt the pain that she was going through because she herself had gone through five cycles of IVF and had five miscarriages and had never been blessed with a child so she took the money and paid fora to have her first round well that woman Not only was the cause of Miriam bro being brought into the world on August 29th but on that cycle she became pregnant and had a baby as well my friends our rabbis tell us that when we worry for others God worries for us when we take care of others God takes care of us but I ask you is there any uh more essential more fundamental thing that you could give to somebody than having a child is there anything that we wouldn't give of ours to save our child that means that everything that we have is that gift that we tonight have the chance to give to somebody else we have the chance to ensure that our children will Merit to have because we're worrying about someone else and when we do that God worries for us my friends for some people bonam is a source of funds for some people it's a source of support and advice but for many bonam is a source for miracles now it was once something that a few people here and there suffered with now as a rabbi I can tell you is far more common than it has ever been before I don't know why maybe Rabbi bakner knows but I'm seeing it over and over and over again couples that will come to the city with a whole group of friends and they come together but they don't progress together one has a baby immediately another couple nothing no news a couple months a couple more months how long a year you might think that they're waiting for the right time and then they have a baby but then there's that couple that sits in the synagogue sometimes lasting longer in the city because they didn't leave with two or three kids back to Brooklyn and when I can tell that it's not a choice that's when I walk up to them and I I whisper in their ear a great Secret The Secret of bonam my friends this organization is an organization that has a huge heart in fact it has 12,000 Hearts those hearts of the children of babies that were brought into this world with the help the generosity the Persistence of bonam but my friends those 12,59 heart 549 hearts are 25,000 plus hearts of of mother and father that are brought back to life that don't know the loneliness or sadness that they once did that's 100,000 grandparents who don't have to worry that the family name will die with their children that is the power of one man Rabbi schlomo bachner and one woman khner two people who forever changed the landscape of our community of our people and our future there's a quote that I once read that says never believe that a few caring people can't change the world for indeed that's all whoever have and I was reminded of this quote when I walked in tonight in the pouring rain seeing not as many people as we'd hoped and because I'm a weirdo I wrote a little poem it goes like this it's raining it's pouring part of our guest list is snoring that had its tented our head we were very wellfed let's send our donations soaring now my friends tonight there are less of us so Bon needs more from us I can't ask you enough as a rabbi to do Torah and mitv I'll ask you to keep kosher and shabat and the holidays and Saka and a lot of things but maybe you won't do all the mitv I'll suggest so could you help me with the first one in the Torah the tor's Mitzvah of Peru or V the most important Mitzvah the Mitzvah of our future may God bless our efforts tonight with many children may God bless our efforts and provide us miracles in our own life and my may God reward our hosts for everything that they did includ including the last minute things that they snaap together to make sure that this event would go on rain or shine should send all the that you could have ever have hoped for or prayed for because you are helping someone who has been praying in that same vein thank you very much [Applause]