Body and Soul 2023 Tragedy in the Face of a Loving God- Rabbi Feldheim

for a minute it's rolling when you start start okay we're going to start in 8:40 com to start oh people are still coming there adding cheers we didn't that's what happened we had the zoom be here so there was no cheers recording right now okay she's just and I'm I'm giving the sheer goes to what time what time what time we over I do better on adrenaline with my back's against the wall and I have to squeeze things in I have too much time I'm like too chill 9:30 9:30 so I have 50 minutes 9 let see okay very good very good like 940 no 39 like turn off my valume okay all right we're on don't forget oh yeah yeah yeah I have to read the name again I have to like uh B okay okay this year is dedicated in the memory of gerto Bas by Josie fryberg in memory of her mother who passed away this year I read her book she's a holocaust Survivor and she dedicated her life to many things she was a unbelievably accomplished woman but one of the things she made a promise that that she wouldn't let anybody forget what happened then she traveled the world speaking giving speeches about what happened she built the first Holocaust Museum in Toronto and uh she left behind the holy daughter who's uh who's building Torah till today should have alah okay this year it's so I'm going to do it in a different way I'm going to see it looks like a crowd louder looks like a knowledgeable crowd so I want to get a little textual but first let me introduce the sh the Shar we'll see how much we can do I I have a series on suffering and I I sort of I made up a new word it's Surfer uing I wanted to write a book one day I'll grow up and I'll become responsible and I'll start writing but surfing is a word that combines the word suffering with surfing and the idea is that in uses the idea of waves as overwhelming things but surfing is the the science of how to take a wave and the bigger the wave and the more dras the wave the greater the surfing is so suffer Surfer is the idea of how to take suffering and how to ride the way waves of pain and had to turn it into something huge and sort of different ways to wrap our minds around why a loving God would allow suffering to exist and uh so I have like if I would write the book I have chapters of many different ideas each one A different idea of how suffering works I think in this year I'm only going to do one and I like to trust God I follow his script so this week's parisha is about one of the most Central ones and I figured I'll Focus the one that we just read about the shabas so and I think it's it's it's it'll have ramifications for everything that's going on in the world now I trust when you follow God's script and you stick to the Parish of the week it always talks about exactly what you need what we need to hear so I hope it's the right message it's not uh I I think the world deserves a fuller treatment on suffering and pain in these times but that's not going to happen on a Mah shabas in 50 minutes but it it would it it would be best like get books read read read things about the Jewish approach to suffering it shouldn't be lost on us it's such a difficult time I feel like people's goal is is to cope and to deal with it and to move on and be able to that's a waste of an opportunity to survive and keep on going it's it should change us and that's what I want to talk about like it it it it everything's an opportunity the goal the goal of life is not to duck figuring out how to survive is listen survival is hard I'm not knocking anyone who tries to survive you know many times that's the best we can do is hope to survive but if we can find the the fortitude and the strength to have higher dreams how can I let this take me somewhere I was never before that would be huge so that's one one of the aspects I want to deal with now in suffering is is this idea I want to read you very powerful story in the Torah I would like to stick in the first five minutes something that's not part of my speech because once I'm going to read you the story one of my favorite D Torah in the world is in this story not the angle of the story I want to do in the bulk of the year but I'm going to be greedy I'm going to try and say the five minute thing first I'll read you the story let's see how long it takes and then this is the story we read this on the first day of rashash this year was the F was chabas we didn't blow chauffeur this is the story that you read on Rashana Hashem it's a story of of s's childbirth she was Barren the gor says she didn't even have a womb wasn't like she just couldn't have she wasn't physically able it was a miracle that she had children and uh she has this child Yak there's already an older child in the house yesel from haar s Sarah couldn't have children so she told Abraham you should have a child marry my maid servant and have a child at least I'll have I'll feel close to the child because hugger is my girl and you know I'll feel something marry Huger have a child and ab has a child is and then s has her own child years later and here's the story I'll I'm not going to maybe read the whole thing inside I'm going to tell you the the bulk of the story Isaac is born they make a party the day that he will he gets a bris mil the first person to get a bris on the eighth day because isal was already older when God gave him the command of ab bris Abraham was already much older Yak is the first person born after the command he has a bris a makes a big party on the day he gets weaned and then we hear that s sees yesel laughing what the word laughing and she goes this is terrible he's having a bad influence on Isaac and uh he's got to go and ab is what do mean go he's my son and Hashem intervenes and Hashem says whatever Sarah your wife says you listen to her she knows so that's wasn't what I wanted to talk about but it's it's a very complicated story because if we know the backstory from last week and the beginning of this week's parisha what happens when God tells Abraham and Sarah they're going to have a child Isaac first he tells Abraham he laughs then Sarah hears the Angels saying T you going to have a child and she laughs and God gets upset why did she laugh and she goes I didn't laugh he goes yes you did laugh I didn't laugh because I was scared whatever and you did laugh and then they name Isaac laughter everything in Isaac's life is laughter it says aiik the king of the Philistines looked out the window and he saw Isaac with his wife he didn't know they were married and he saw her him being intimate what's the word it uses he sees him laughing with his wife so everyone in this story is laughing the most common word in the par is laughter yes laughs one time and they go he's got to go it's like the guy in school who has no money you know like the rich kids get away with everything and he like but he's from the same family he have you know whatever so it's a weird story needs to be explained and that's a joke but it's a serious story but yes laughs and and they say he has to go and Hashem intervenes and says listen to Sarah and you and so a is worried so he gives hugar the mother was Pharaoh's daughter so they lived not that far away in Egypt he gave her everything she needed to make it back to her father's house she'll lived like royalty back in Egypt he gave her and food but instead of going home she wanders around the desert she wanders around the desert now you can't last forever in a desert wanding ground eventually the food runs out and here's the story the highlight of the Torah reading right this is the reading of I know it with the tune of rash so like the water gets from the flask get finished from the flask and that's a harsh word I can't imagine it's taken so literally she throws the child under one of the bushes doesn't in congruous with the rest of the story maybe it this we'll see she goes opposite him far away how far a sh away because she said I can't bear to see the child die and she goes far away opposite him this from this distance of a bot and she raises her voice and she cries right and then this is like andm hears the voice of the child and the angel calls out the Huger from the heavens come pick up your child don't what what are you putting him in the bushes for and hold him in your arms I'm G to make him into a great nation and he opens her eyes and she sees a well right there and she goes and she fills the the pitcher with water and she gives him to drink and God is with the child and he grows up they live in the desert and he becomes a ro kasas a master of the bow and his wife find his mother finds him a wife from the land of Egypt that's the story we only know two things about ishma after the story he becomes an Archer a master of the bow and he he marries an Egyptian woman his mother find that's the story that's what I want to study so the there's a few questions here well we have enough time to work it through properly okay you have all the data we'll go through it short right is is laughing he gets thrown out for laughing and not literally thrown out but told to move give the stuff they wander in a desert strange the mother can't beer to see her kid dying so so she puts him in the bushes or throws him in the bushes you know and and and which is you know the commentaries it's hard to understand that maybe it's just saying like what kind of mother would do this it's like throwing him in the bushes like doesn't matter you put him gently or not you leave you're throwing him to the Wolves not literally thre him to the Wolves a mother holds a kid he's just because he's thirsty and he's dying don't stick your head in the sand how does that help and she goes far away I can't beer to see my child die very you know if we were there's a lot to a lot of therapy a lot to analyze here like like what what what was she doing what's her what's her problem what's her floor is the story so I wanted to focus first the five minute thought this is what I said in Rashana because on this year Rashana we didn't blow showers this is I feel like the perfect talk for a day you don't rushan you only blow chauffer two days you know it's the that guttural cry the sound of the chauffeur and to to divide it by 50% to miss out one day so this is how I explained it yal was was thrown out for laughing why Abraham laughs s laughs y laughs everyone laughed but him so I'm not going to go through this now I have a Shear on laughter there are five different types of laughter in this story this Abraham's laughter which God accepts sar's laughter hasm gets angry he says why are you laughing she goes I didn't laugh go I was scared she goes yeah but you still laughed that's hasem says so obviously this A's laughter which kosher laughter then there s is says I didn't laugh out of fear so there's some kind of fear-based laughter and then but hasem says you laughed anyway which is still bad so there's another bad laughter which is not fear-based laughter which again I'm not going to go through all these but just if you're going to be precise kosher laughter fear-based laughter which is really bad which she denies but say yeah you laughed anyway which is obviously not A's laughter because it's a it's a a middle bad laughter not as bad as fear-based but not Kosher like a rums then Y is pure laughter which is beautiful it's like a it's like this trait it's proud it's not acceptable laughter it's proud laughter he's Isaac that's his name and then is is's laughter which is a trag you got to go what so what's the so I'm not gonna I'm not going to go through all seven laughters all five laughters I talk about two of them there there's a there's a laughter of Innocence maybe the most beautiful sounds in the word a giggle of a child it's just Giddy and giggly it's exuberant and full of life and hope it's just we don't giggle for that long because you go through life and things happen and you lose that childish innocence and that optimism and now you're guarded you have to be so pure to giggle you know once we've tasted according to the Torah once you've tasted shame you can never giggle again right giggling is the sound of Innocence certain optimism that comes with Purity where you you don't it's just like totally open it's like wide-eyed you know the wideeye giggles Children Are We There Yet you know they don't know how to they don't know yet to protect themselves and not and be more cool you know don't leave don't let everything hang out you you might feel pain that's giggly but there's the Other Extreme the worst laughter is the opposite you know little kids giggle teenage teers little kids are wide eyed teenagers roll their eyes the eye roll is the opposite of wide eyy wide eyy is this innocent oh and eye roll is this scoffing literally the opposite of of giggle of of wide-eyed what is the laughter version of an eye roll it's a cackle it's that sneering demeaning laughter the laughter that's not laughing it's shaming it's meant to take giggling people and make them feel stupid for giggling because the people who once giggled and things happened that they don't believe in that optimism anymore so they hear the sound of giggling it hurts them it reminds them of their dreams so you need to silence the sound of giggles and there's the laugh that laughter is I don't know if cackle is the right word but there a sneering sarcastic a shaming laugh a laugh that is meant to make gigglers feel ashamed and embarrassed of their giggling and then the cack is no longer threatened by someone reminding them of their their dreams the same thing an eye roll does an eye roll is a response to wide eyedness I was once wide-eyed and then things happened I don't believe it's going to work for me anymore so it hurts me too much to think of my dreams and then I see you wide eyyy you reminding me of everything I ever want so I need to I need to get you to to stop being wide-eyed your widey innocence hurts me it's a reminder so we roll our eyes to make fun and then and then what happens if you're successful if the W if the eye roll defeats the wi eyy then the wideeye guy starts to you know close his eyes because he's embarrassed of what he know what he did wrong but he feels shallow and childish and not sophisticated this this isn't this is so RW it's so real this is like the it's like 2023 you know this is like the world all in the story is the never did anything wrong he's he's still grown he's still giggling his whole life is this innocence he's always this child on this alar flawless and he giggles and yesel is cackling I always I talk to Yeshiva we don't you don't not to throw a kid out of Yeshiva the the rule in the Torah is when does someone get get thrown out only one case the mat the cack who is shaming the gigglers people go through hard times and we get hurt and we we protect ourselves you can do a lot of things wrong and you have to let you have to give students wiggle room once you accept the kid into your institution you better defend him you can't but the the line is the Torah is lying when Hashem says I've R it's your son but s is right is when the person is destroying the other innocent people and that's where compassion has to be for the for the people who are still intact and that's the difference between Isaac's laughter and ym ym is the first eye roller the first cackler the first sneer then yes is dying in the bushes and I think the reason we read there's many reasons people say well we read this in rash I think the main reason we read it is because with the day of prayer with ding to hasem and hasem hears the prayers and he saves yes what he saves it says he hears himam as he was then he hadn't done anything terrible yet and Hashem listens to him and saves him the problem is if that's the point of the whole story the most important words in the story are missing what should it say here's what the story says if you remember he the water ran out from the flask and the mother throws him in the bushes she goes far away how far away a b shot away I can't bear to see my child die and she raises her voice and she cries and then God hears the sound of the CH the K hanar the sound of the boy of the youth and he saves him as he was then and opens up her eyes and says here is a well and she gives him the drink what's missing in the story Hashem hears the voice never says that yesal cries in fact his whole name is yish shma what does that mean shma means to hear Kel God hears his name is the boy's name is that God hears prayer so you would think the punch line in the whole story is the boy cries and Hashem hears and he saves him so wouldn't the most important words in the whole story be it's rash you're GNA and cry Hashem hears it skips those words it says the mother cries she doesn't get answered she cries Hashem she cries and Hashem hears The Voice voice of the child that's the question can you connect the dots and come up with a fascinating answer I'll ask one more question maybe it'll it'll help a little more and I'll see not going to give you too much time because this this is just supposed to be a five minute commercial before the real sh it's just so beautiful what what is the other question is Hashem this thing called aam that hasem judged him as he was then why is that like a a big deal what do you call judging somebody as they are Justice he can punish something for something he hasn't done yet why is this a a why are we lording this the answer is because there is a case in the Torah where someone's not who said it know he know he knows but he didn't do it yet the B Mo the B MOA gets judged on something he didn't do yet right so so but my point is I get it the benora is the one who needs an explanation how God could punish someone who didn't do it yet but isal doesn't need an explanation this is justice so why does it tell us that God judges him as he is that's my questions anybody can figure out so let's say the questions again right all the points I needed you to hear yal gets thrown out because he's cackling he's sh he's in pain he lost his dreams but his coping mechanism is to make fun of all dreamers to break the dreamers teach kids how to roll their eyes and that's what he does cackling in his pain then y finds himself in the desert he's dying of thirst his mother put him puts him in the bushes she cries Hashem hears the voice of the kid how come it doesn't say he cried one last thing it doesn't say Hashem heared the cries of the kid every word in the Torah is so significant hears the K what does CO mean voice it might sound like a little detail but when I tell you what I think the answer is you'll realize what's going on why would the Torah skip the most important words in the whole story that yesal cries and the answer is the Torah would never skip the most important words didn't tell us he cried because he didn't cry the Torah told us already what Ismael does when he's in pain what does he do he laughs yesal is in the bushes dying of thirst and what is he doing he's sneering saying what a messed up world people actually live and they have dreams it's all a joke look at this you could be a little kid and dying of thirst he is a he that's how that's how he lives he lives by sneering cackling laughing not it's a very dark laughter like the Joker you know he's like that dark laughter sitting there Tor doesn't say because it just told us for took him earlier he's he's this is his this is what he does that's why it says Hashem hears the voice of the child not the cry it's because he didn't cry Hashem heard his laughter and this is the beauty of the so and that's what it means that hasem heard himam what does it mean Hashem heard him as he really was yes he's sneering and cackling but Hashem is multilingual he knows that he's just a broken kid and he's sneering out of pain and God is able to translate the cackling and the sneer and the anger and realize that it's just your weight of crying you can't cry but you want to cry the greatness of this story and the reading in rash is you might be angry you might be W waving your finger at God you could be rebelling against God and Hashem could know that all those things was tears Hashem heard is's laughter and he saved him he because he heard him as aam as he truly was it's a it's a fake face of strength that you're putting on because you you're too in too hurt to cry so you have to laugh but really is there a difference between the laughter and the crying they're both expressions of the same pain and that's the it's an unbelievable story for Asana especially in rash when you don't blow the chauffeur because the chauffer is the cries so the day you blow chauffeur there's no crying we read the story which says that you don't need to cry Hashem can hear the sound of cry cries even when you're not crying even when you don't blow chauffeur this is the that's I think it's the part the simple meaning when you actually read the words yesal never cried he was sneering cackling and hasem we're all probably somewhere in Middle some people we're not vulnerable enough to cry with our whole Hearts but we're also not sneering and cursing and but to know that so of course Hashem hear is whatever our reactions are angry resentful hasem hears it all as cry you don't have to worry that you haven't been communicating has every word yes beautiful beautiful sees that's we also say listen to the words say let the words of my mouth right um be wanted by you and the thoughts of my heart before you what's the difference between the IM and the he the words of my mouth are the words I actually say the hegu and liby are the thought the things that I was feeling even though I might have said the opposite hasm knows what you really meant behind what you said and you weren't and this is and whatever is true for God and man is true for husbands and wives we all have to be multilingual and we have to know not the word don't fall for the words when your kids everyone knows it on kids when your kids say I hate you we know they don't hate us you know hasem to Hashem we our kids with spouses is a little harder we take them at that word but we know it's the same thing we don't mean what we say you have to be big enough to be able to translate the pain that it's coming from if you want to emulate God these are the ways not the easy simple ways this is emate God to be able to translate painful things and understand they coming from a different place okay that was my five minute intro okay but now let's learn the rest of the story we have we got it wasn't the really a waste cuz I I I laid all the groundwork for the rest of the story already here's what I want to ask you a couple of questions we have different Hebrew measurements there's amas and Paras and te we know the Hebrew measurements there is no measurement any in the we're in the Torah called the Bose shot why does the Torah over here choose to describe how far does hugger go away from her child a Bose shot away of B shot strange and if you think it's like such a minor detail to folk Torah is very very cheap on details when it tells us something everything's in the details so why is the Torah telling us a bad and it's not incidental because the LA only thing it tells us about isal when he grows up he becomes a master of the bow so there's there's a few verses with a few words it wants us to think about the idea of a bow and I think this is the key to understanding the whole story here I'll give you one last piece of data and uh this is where I thought of this on the holiday of LBA om we have a holiday with a symbol of LBA om is the bow and arrow why what's the story of LBA om why is it sort of a happy day not a happy day but it's like a mixed emotions a few reasons it's the anniversary of the death of who wrote To Z that's why we go into meron and we build these bonfires it's the holiday of the cabala which of left us in The Zo but more significantly it's the day Thea students stopped dying you all heard that so but here's the the dark irony over here how many students have Reika died 24 how many students did he have 24,000 so why did they stop dying there was no one left to die so how exact it's like je it's a Jewish dark humor he had 24,000 students students came LBA 24,000 students had died and now we make a holiday because they stopped dying you how do you explain that right how do you explain that right it's it's an obvious question they the commentaries ask it so and why what's the reason for the bow and arrows again you have a few Dots here I want to connect all the dots so let's talk about a bow I think the Lynch pin to all these stories is to understand what is the biblical metaphor of a boat and we know it's very it's it's discussed a lot in Jewish thought because you know Abraham and Isaac are the are the and Jacob are the fathers of the Jewish people way we understand it is Abraham is is the right and and and Isaac is the left whatever the opposite traits and Jacob is the synthesis that's the idea he completion Abraham's one side like I'm not going to give you my politic I have a Shear called this Heaven a red state or a blue state it's a great share but it's it's important people want to hear the Tor view on politics but in short I start with the idea that Abraham Abraham is your first liberal he has homeless shelters and soup kitchens and when he and when he's not serving guests what's he doing he's praying to God to save every evil person in the world forgive sedom forgive parro forgive a he's literally a caricature of liberalism you would think Isaac is the caricature of a conservative hard work police of by bootstraps no free rides be a sadic self-control don't do anything wrong don't mess up totally dedicated no floors just just on his game rig right justice and you know and neither one of them could have the Jewish people the tri 12 tribes are not born to either one because they're both one-dimensional Judaism the answer is heaven a red state or a blue state is that why does everyone think it has to be the this the Jewish IDE IDE is the synthesis of these two opposites and there's a there's a third way you don't have to demonize the other side and that's Jacob Jacob is seen as as the synthesis of Isaac because Abraham has an evil son and Isaac does go if you're only liberal what happens if you raise your child with everything is kosher and everything is good isma's trade is called what peram a wild man it's Anarchy everything's kosher There's No Boundaries and no rules if you only raise your kid you have to work hard you have to earn there's no free rides what is that lead to a different evil cruelty intolerance so we see the sins of is and as as opposites yesel is an adulterer and I and I and asov is a murderer I wouldn't want to choose which one's worse they're both one is the sin of too much love or too much acceptance and one is too much too rigidity so we one way to study a lot of Judaism is to look at the opposite sides and figure how to synthesize them the Torah speaks about is as being an Archer the roas is called he lives by The Sword and the Caba deals with the difference between The Sword and the bow the difference is sword and bow and uh you know there's two different approaches to the difference between a sword or a bow and Judaism is the synthesis of both so one the more shallow are difference between a sword and a bow a bow is from close combat a sword is close combat and a bow is from far away and the bridge of those two is Pinas the Jew uses a spear a spear is is is a cross between The Sword and the bow but the deeper understanding of sword and bow is the following by the way I'll show you also like isma uses a lunar calendar and asov uses a solar yesal is the father of Islam and asov is the father of Christianity through Rome and we see them as the paradigms of the whole world Jacob is the Jewish people you know isma eventually becomes Islam asov eventually becomes Christianity through Rome and they use a lunar and they use a solar and we use the intercalated lunar cell the same as the same as the synthesis we don't see these religions as evil we see them as being half of a truth and the secret is to to figure out the beauties of all sides and make them whole by combining by making the whole picture so so what's the deeper understanding of a bow difference between a sword or a bow the deeper understanding of the difference a sword or a bow is as follows if you were writing the history of Weaponry let's of History chapter one is a fist fist is the first weapon then someone realizes this guy's totally on me and he gets the punch in I'm going to get a club so the next evolution of Weaponry is a club the guy with the club starts to win every W till somebody else gets a club now they're banging clubs and then no says I'm going to sharpen my club and he eventually leads the swords and then the next guy goes instead of a sword he a longer sword then the next guy gets a lance you know and he's winning everything and then they someone says I'll make a spear you can keep on evolving book two of Weaponry is where everything changes is the bow a bow is a whole new thing a bow is the first thing that's not direct force all the weapons before the bow were just direct a sword a bow a spe a sword a spear a lance what's a bow it's the first machine it's a spring you actually pull the opposite direction that you want to go you create tension and you with the tension you launch this Arrow the arrow goes further deeper higher faster than anything before it is a whole new a new Epic Weaponry begins with the bow because the bow is harnessing attention it's a the first machine really it's a device all modern Weaponry is development of the bow through explosives and other artificial means to create an energy that's not the direct force of the but the bow is the Breakthrough where you learn how to harness tension so the imagery of what a bow is versus a sword is direct Force versus indirect Force versus the device a sophisticated machine and this is the difference the bridge between those two is the other Jewish weapon what's the other if you wanted to come up with a weapon that's a synthesis half direct Force but this kind of slingshot is a bow small bow right David slingshot what was that this what is this is this a Bo direct force or indirect Force it's the it's the intermediate Weapon It's the bridge it's half bow and half sword it's centrifugal force but it's not direct it's a building up of force stronger than what you had at any time and that's these are the two Jewish weapons in Torah the r of pin and the this isn't my Torah this is capitalistic ideas and seeing everything in the Torah as paradigms but what I want what I want now we're ready for the sh because I gave you everything you didn't know coming out of everything we've said till now what is a bow then we can start to look at the story now knowing what the metaphor in the story is a bow is a tension device a device that harnesses the stress and the tension and the pain and therefore it launches things the more the more you pull the tighter the further the thing will go let's psychoanalyze hugger or even hug even even ymo where does y go wrong let's be very modern about this we're going to put yal on our couch what did he go through he comes in like everybody else he tells about how bad his mother was right oh you don't know what my mother was like what was hugger like can we analyze hugger we don't know much about her but we know something very big her son is dying of thirst and what does she do she checks out when things get hard hugger can't leave she can't deal with pressure I'm sure it wasn't easy for yo Right comes home from the school the rebi said this and she goes you don't know what I don't give me your stuff you don't know what I to deal with today I have my own stuff just he was alone his mother checked out when things not being not modern this is the Torah story we just going to take it at its words and sit yes's experience was the flaw in see the difference isal and Isaac grew up in the exact same house the only variable that changed in the life of yal and haar and isal and and Isaac was what the mothers so if you want to know where goes wrong what was the variable in his life hugger what was wrong with hugger Torah gives us the floor she's a mother who was able to abandon her kid because I can't bear to see him let him cry alone in the bushes rather than pick him up and hold him and God doesn't just save him that's interesting God doesn't just say here's water he gives her muser he says pick up your kid and hold him you know support him now here's water like first you can't do this you know you can't he should have just said go get him the water he wanted Huger to it's very important in the story here the Torah wants us to understand what was wrong where yal came from yal came from his mother's inability to live with the Str so if you wanted a metaphor for the inability to live with stress what would that be you want describe that someone wants to live a life without pressure how what do you live your life how far do you live from pressure the expression then the Torah is so powerful it's called living your life a Bose shot away what's a Bose shot how far is a bow shot is how far does tension launch the bow the bow will shoot how far are how much stress did you create so if you wanted to say I need to live my life outside of stress what's the biblical metaphor for that a Bose shot away is that that makes that clear the Torah says she ran she sat a b sh away once it's so important for the Torah that we should understand that Huger was goal was to escape stress she lived her life numb away from tension I'm 10 minutes right no no no no I got 10 minutes I'm I'm on time I thought I was on time 10 minutes yes good didn't Hess start with what oh so really I I didn't want to complicate it this is the second so we have one more story of Hagar the same story Sor was tough on her what did she do she ran away God said go back she went back so the two story it's just exact same story it's just more data he also had feel well we're going to see okay so I'm I'm going to go to the sun next but first I want to go through hugger so we got hugger we diagnosed hugger right she can't deal with pressure she lives her life a Bose shot away so now let's understand y's pain y grows up in a house where his mother checks out every time things go up and he must have suffered terribly when the your mother is not around for your pain so there are three different ways to deal with stress and pressure a holy way and the two negative ways so far we know one the most common way Huggers way what most people do we check out that is the modern most people in the world live their life as Huggers the going gets tough today we have better tools you know we have medications and many tools that allow me to live a Bose shot away from my life they don't need a bow anymore you don't need B shot you don't need distance you can be right here and not here most people's approach is hugger's approach but then there's two other approaches the holy approach and y's approach is doesn't want to be his mother but he does the other bad approach what's the other bad approach you go through a life where you suffer terribly because of pressure because the mother can't cope with stress so yal says wow I you know how powerful stress is you know how it destroyed our lives my mother was never present everything was I was always alone because of stress so youal goes wow why do I have to be the victim of the stress why do I have to see myself like my mother she's the target of the bow why can't I be the one creating that stress you know how powerful I could be let me make everyone become me and my mother let me make everybody run away you know how that's a very it's a very logical thing you learn you intimate understanding of your suffering you can go why do I have to be the receiver I could he becomes the master of the bow the one who creates the tension what is that called what is what is that what is the role of the person who creates tension to make other people run away it's called terrorism terrorism is the legacy of yeso is the torah's prophecy right here he becomes the master of the bow when we understand what the bow is we understand what the master of the bow is not the victim of stress the creator of the stress make them run make them abandon their things like I did and then we'll take what's theirs we'll chase them away he's the intimate understanding of the power of say in in two simple words the Torah gives us all of history he's the master of the bow so these are the two negative ways to deal with stress one is to see yourself as the Target and run away the other one is to say I could be the bow and make them run away so what's the holy approach to stress the holy approach to Suffering The Holy approach to to to to pressure and worries and tragedies there's a third item in the story that we neglected there's the target there's the bow what's the only thing we didn't address the arrow the arrow is the thing that benefits from stress it flies further and higher and faster than anything before nothing ever can go beforehand on the trip of an arrow the greater the stress the greater the pain the greater the drama the further the arrow thrives on stress the Jewish approach is to be thees the joy of LBA om the reason why the bow and arrow is the symbol of lagba om it because Yesa lost 24,000 students but you know what happened he took the the pain of TW what must have be like 24 years he built that he didn't go home he built the Yeshiva he gave his life to 24,000 nothing left and instead of breaking or cursing or eye rolling or running in the bushes or causing other people stress he went and he built a new Yesa with five students but those five students was so Superior to everything that came before because those five students were the students built on the pain of 24,000 these are the students of the of the these are the arrows who is the arrow of RAB aka's bow of TW imagine the bow of 24,000 deaths imagine that tension if if you you align yourself that arrow on that bow there's nothing that'll flat that who was that the whole is the result of those 24,000 a Torah that never existed deeper bigger that's is not was the student of his new Yesa built on the pain and that's why it's a bow and that's why we build these bonfire it's the conflagration it's the the the light that comes from burning from Pain the Jewish approach to stress to pressure is not to duck it to run away that's hugar it's not to become a monster that's is it's to let that depth launch you to go for take thear and become huge that's the lesson of the story of of it's the story of over here and that's Jewish people the image of the Jewish people is the is the bow arrow the arrow the arrow and this is the moment we're in now we're in a moment that Hashem has chosen for us a sar a national tar and I think we're rising to that challenge CLA Isel has lined themselves on that string we placed ourselves there and we're watching the unity the depth a change in the world and this is this this this is huge and I don't want to say that this is in our own personal stories are just as huge we all go through every day our own little calamities our own little sufferings you have now a framework not mine the torah's framework you to you're going to be torn in life just like the Jew Jewish people is now and the Jewish people has not chosen to turn off we haven't gone hugger and we haven't become monsters we're literally in sync with with with the torah's approach's approach approach and we should take this home with us the purpose of this is not God is not involved in geopolitics as his primary role God wants our families our homes and when we go through our we take these Global things because we're not studying our little lies we study the big life but that's not the real place you have to take the lessons of what we're doing as a people today and bring it home when we have hard times and things go wrong don't be hugger and don't scream and throw things and don't become tough we have an excuse there's a lot of good reasons who I'm allow to be don't be to allow our to launch us it's hard to call pain a gift but it's not a gift but there's a prize at the end and the prize is the greatness of the person who knows how to harness his pain and Hashem doesn't do this to everybody it's the people that he believes that it would be such a waste for them to live their lives firing on a few cylinders when they have cylinders and and and I think we're rising to the challenge and then we take the successes that we're having as a nation today and bring it into our homes you don't understand what lives will change when we teach our children this trait because the world is teaching people these two opposite ideas they're teaching people today how to check out the magical power of the next generation is olls cackling they they learned how to like avoid all pain numbing themselves they can sit on their little machines forever they also learned how to trm to create monsters got a victimhood how you can go breaking store windows and become a monster because you suffered and you went through pain and you can now be the one passing the pain on the world is surrounded with both options it's our job to raise our children with the middle option you don't have to check out you don't have to come a monster you can become a pilot you can fly you can become an astronaut you can fly on the journey the Jewish journey is the Journey of the arrow may we be that we should be listen we've had enough pain to fly anywhere there is to fly Hashem shouldn't have to pull on our bow ever again but maybe we figure out how to harness the previous pains the present pains that we should go on the journey that God Meant For Us fly everywhere he wanted us to go we should never have to suffer again should we have a GH and an end to this crisis thank you sorry about the signal in the middle feldheim Rabbi feldheim what Shabbat