Beyond Emotion: Finding True Peace, Inner Peace with Coach Menachem

Welcome everyone. Welcome to fundamentals to gain inner peace. I know it's Tuesday night. We usually do it on Wednesday. Thank you for joining. Tonight we're going to be discussing finding true peace. Peace beyond emotion. Finding true peace. And uh we've been on the journey for a while. talking about letting go of emotions, understanding emotions, how to let them go. But in general, looking back, you know, we're on this journey first to understand what does emotions mean, taking it from understanding it logically to experiencing them. And if you've been here for a while, we know that to slow down and to experience emotions can be a challenge. There's a reason why we're on this fast-paced world and there's we're running trying to accomplish but running away from something. So, we're learning to slow down to experience emotions, become aware of them, not to be that scared of them. to be able to zoom out and look at them and to be able to experience all the emotions because you can't choose emotions. Either you're turned on or you're turned off. Some people are turned off because that's the only way they can manage. There's too much going on in their life. If you open up the the can of worms, you open up the idea of emotions, it's painful. They don't want to go there. They're shut down for a reason. So, has to be done gent gently with uh support. But if you're shut down, then you're not experiencing positive emotions either. There's no, you know, you don't allow yourself. And that part of the brain the amygdala can't it should shut down and it's a coping mechanism and sometimes we understand why there's a reason in the past few weeks we've discussed letting go of emotions so going to the next level of letting go which many people are like ah this is what I want I want to let go of all those emotions that I don't like and the situations in my life that make me feel these iffy I don't like it. Just let go of the emotion and I'm not letting them. What I'm saying is what we're learning is that the way to let go is to allow to experience to feel. And uh you came here to learn how to let go so you'll be free of those emotions. And here I am telling you no no no no let them in. What's the reason? The secret is because that's the only way it can slowly just you know become a little softer can slowly move from a place where it's stuck for so many years. If you can allow them to be then slowly they can you know some fresh air they can move around and then that's how we let go. So that's tricky because if you want to push it away, if you want to fight it, the there is this um mush that people say like there's guest in your house which you don't like and these these emotions are guest in you know in your mind negative thoughts, negative emotions, you don't want them you want to push them away. All all that happens is it gets bigger and harder. So what you learn is see them, allow them to be, give them their space, listen to them, and you'll see slowly they'll maybe take a break. They'll go outside for a few minutes. They won't go away. They'll still come back, but at least you can, you know, live how to with all of this, all of the stuff they trying to fight and push away. Tonight we're going to touch a little bit on the concept of letting go even from positive emotions. And you might ask why positive emotions? Hold on. Hold on to it. So we'll see. And then the next step in our journey is going to be to be able to be not to be so attached to our emotions so that we can get to a place of seeing ourselves, tapping into our intuition, being in a place of stillness. Now we mentioned in the past many people are scared when I let go of my thoughts. If I let go of my of this negative energy of all my emotions, then who am I? Then I'm not going to do I'm not going to be productive. So we discussed it to see that's a that's a a belief that you have. I'm only productive if I'm nervous. You know, I am dot dot dot my story. If you take away my story, if I let go from that sort, you know, it could feel sometimes relaxing and calming down a little bit, but then the mind says something's wrong. I'm not used to this. What's going on? Am I losing it? So, nothing nothing's going on. You're okay. You're allowed to relax a little bit. Hey, hey, take it easy. No, no, no, no. I'm scared of this. I don't know what's what's going on. So becoming aware of emotions, negative and positive, letting go of emotions, negative and positive, and getting to a place where we can just be and be productive from a place of intuition, from a place of being okay, not because I have to. So that's in a nutshell. So, let's do what we always do before we start. Let's get grounded. Take a moment and just be not that easy to come into the room. See where you are, what you're feeling. Take a deep breath. Close your eyes if that's feels comfortable and just be here in the moment and become aware of what's going on externally or internally. Where am I? What am I hearing? What am I feeling? You can do a quick body scan and just become aware of any sensations. Beautiful. You know the deep breath in. You deserve it. The world won't fall apart. Take off for a few minutes and just relax. Deep breath in and just be for 60 seconds and see what happens. Good job. They're okay. Beautiful. Okay. So, just take a deep breath and become aware of what came up. There's no right or wrong. It's just becoming aware. So, in the past few weeks, we've discussed letting go of emotions. The question is why? Why should we let go of positive emotions? Now, think of something in your life that you're enjoying. You like it. Hopefully, you have more than one. And many times when you're in a place of feeling good, there's something deep down that's thinking, "How long is this going to last?" And I know I know people that they're when when life is good, they're always like, "Okay, when is the next things? When is the next shoe going to drop? When is it happening?" And it's sad. Now, if you're enjoying the moment and you're holding on to it, you want to stay in it, then just realize that holding on to it is also coming from a place of fear. There's that negative emotion behind the positive feelings. So it's becoming aware if if we're in touch, if we're connected to our emotions, if we're heavily connected to it, then uh we live in a roller coaster because there's always ups and downs. There are always things that work out, things that don't, you know, black and white, up and down, in and out. This is what life is all about. We're learning how to let go and let let it flow. The emotion, something that you enjoy, you can feel it, but allow yourself to feel it and let it go. Something that you don't like, same thing. It's an it's an energy. Let it come and let it go and let it come and let it go. Now, you're the one that's that's experiencing it. You're the one that's, you know, some days like this, some days like that. Now, let's talk about you for a minute. How are you doing? Like, oh, I never thought about myself. I'm always connected to these emotions. We're suppressing them, not allowing myself to feel. We're holding on to the positive emotions because that's what I want to hold on to. But really what you're doing is holding on to the negatives by allowing the energy to come and go. You're the one that's experiencing the energy. So that's in a way zoomed out. You're experiencing them. You're looking at it from a distance like we discussed. You can talk to it. Say, "Ah, I like this beautiful." Talk to it. I don't like that. H what is it? What does it make you feel? So it's you conversation you and your emotions allowing your emotions to come and go. So that helps to let the energy in and out. So that's whether it's negative emotions or positive emotions. If I again if I have to hold on to the positive emotion, why? Because there might be a fear behind it. An example could be let's say someone is single and they finally find their and they get married and they're excited and they're thinking to themselves wow this is what I was waiting for my whole life and they're really connected which can from the outside looks amazing beautiful relationship but if it's coming from a place of I've never had this and this is what I need to to feel good about myself. Then when something doesn't work out in the relationship, which is normal because it's never perfect, you start thinking, "Uhoh, I'm losing it." And you start stressing out like, "What's going on? What's going on? Wife is spending too much money. Husband came came home late. I told her not to. I told him he's not listening. Oh my gosh. Ah so that's an example of it can bring up all those emotions fear well it's coming from a positive place I had a beautiful relationship the past year it was amazing I don't know what's happening now so healthy relationships are ups and downs ins and outs to see you know they also have their things how do I deal with it how do I deal with mine they can't fill me up. I have to realize what's my fear. What's that thing that I need to fill to fill in? And if they don't do it, I feel like I'm losing it. So yes, even that positive emotion, if you're enjoying the situation, enjoy it. But that's not this is who I am and this is what I need. Because if you take this away from me, I'm lost. It's over. M. So, let's stop for a moment. Have you ever ever had in your life something positive that you enjoyed? Or maybe now you might be in a situation where it's good. You're holding on to it. You might be loving it and you're holding on to it. And we can ask the same question. Could I let that go for a little? Like, oh, no, no, no. I want to let it go. Could I let that What happens when hyperventilates? Can't let that go. Life is good now. Life is good. So, for those who have experienced it, those ups and downs in life, they know that when they're in a good place, there there could be a lot of fear. So, they're enjoying it. Yes, they like it, but underneath there's a lot of fear. How long is this going to last? What's next? So, we don't want you to be imshed, to be connected to those emotions 100%, 1,000% because you are you having experiencing those emotions, but you're okay. And that can help you get to the next step of just being. Can I let go of those emotions? So yeah, it's a beautiful concept and we're doing great learning about letting go. But myself again, I have this the book of the Sedona method. Then there's the book of David Hawin letting go all about these concepts. But what I do find many people are reading these books and learning these concepts. But again like what I'm going to say is because they don't want to feel they're running away from the emotions and I'm going to go back to say are you do you understand the emotions already are you allowing the emotions to be because in the seda method the first thing is to allow before you ask can I let it go first allow feel it. Feel it. And then you can ask, can I let it go? Many people come from a world where feeling is shut down. So when you say feel it, nothing comes up. What do you mean by feel it? Can I let it go? Yeah. Yeah. Let it go. Let it go. No. No. No. No. No. No. It doesn't work that way. Letting go is by allowing yourself to feel. So it's going back to understanding emotions, allowing yourself to feel emotions and that could be a challenge like we discussed many times. Allowing yourself to be in a place when you feel a situation you don't like it. Instead of fighting it, you allow. That's not easy to see emotions as energy and not get caught up. My this is my life. So, we're learning letting go by allowing yourself to feel. Not being scared of the feeling. The feeling doesn't define you. Those feelings are just energy. Allow it to go through. Allow it to go like the waves. So, let's stop for a moment. What do you feel now? You can close your eyes. and feel. Like we say, experience what's going on. Tap into your body and feel. What do you feel in the present moment? Can you allow that feeling to be there? Don't let it go. Allow it. Don't push it away. Just allow that feeling. That's it. Beautiful. That's what we're looking for to allow. Once we allow, once we can experience the emotions and we're not that scared of it anymore. We understand it doesn't define me. Then we can get to a place of just being and not being so connected to it. You can get to a place of stillness. That's when we can find our intuition. And I know these words are things that that we still need to discuss, but that's the goal to get to a place where you can be still. Okay. Yes, you're okay. Nothing needs to change. I know there are things in your life that you're still working on, you want to fix, but it's okay. You're okay. You get to a place of real calm relaxation. And that's what many people are scared of. Who am I in a calm place? Who am I without the chaos? And I heard from many people, successful people, and this is what I heard from a lawyer. He his life is he feels alive in chaos. So when there's nothing really going on, he looks for the next chaos. That's he's like searching for chaos. Like, wow. Wow. And it's not it's not easy to change that. But the awareness is so important. Just becoming aware of you're looking for it and then you're trying to figure out why can't I just take it easy? Why am I always stressed out? Great question. So again, step one is to allow yourself to feel. you start feeling and then we can let go but the real secret is to feel not to let go before we feel um I want to discuss one emotion I'll give you an example why it's so hard so in the book this is from the book letting go and they discuss the different levels of energy which maybe we'll talk a different time but talking about apathy So, let me read it and you'll see if you connect to it and you'll see why it's so hard. The emotion of hopelessness. Apathy is one of the lowest energy states we can experience. It's the feeling that nothing matters. Have you ever been there? Nothing matters. Nothing will ever change. and that you're powerless to help yourself. Could you imagine? I don't know. I know many people who don't have to imagine there many times they find themselves in that place. They say no. I I spoke to successful people that they sometimes say it's just not going to work. It's just I'm like oh where are you? Where did you go? Now, we have to be careful because I don't want to pull them out because pulling out is not allowing them to feel. First, see where you are. So, again, you're in a state of really, very low energy. And the thoughts are, who cares? It won't make a difference anyways. Nothing matters. Nothing will ever change. And there's nothing I can do to help myself. Have you ever been there? In that state, people often feel emotionally flat. They feel disconnected, paralyzed, and like life is just happening. They have no control. Life is just happening to them. Every day something else pushing them around, and they're like, "Oh, where am I? What's going on?" So, have you ever been there? That's an example of a feeling. And that's the reason why to stop and feel it. Might as well just scroll on your phone, just watch, you know, social media. Keep yourself busy. Don't feel it. That can be so so hard to feel. Now it's the tricky part. What do you do when you feel that? What am I supposed to do? What would you do if a friend calls you and tells you this is where they are? They start sharing all of this and many times it makes us feel so uncomfortable. We start telling them what are you talking about? You can do anything you know you did this yesterday that wait a second you're pulling them out. You might think it's a good idea but I'm not sure. Can you sit with them? Listen to them. Effective listening. Just listen to what they're saying. It's like, "Oh, wow." Like, "What's going on? I don't know." They they say, "I don't know. This is I just feel this way. Wow." Well, you have to learn the skill of of listening and just sit with them as a good friend. Be there with them. So then they can slowly feel safe and okay to allow the feeling to be there. And only then You can allow it to move. Sometimes it takes time and you're thinking, how long is this going to last? You know, I could sit with it just for a few minutes, but after that, I'm going to push it away. That's the hard part. Allow yourself to feel with these emotions. And the only way to let them go is by sitting with them can be very scary. So I think we're going to continue. You know there's in the Sona method they go through nine emotions going through each emotion and then asking okay now that you felt it you allowed yourself to feel it. Can I let let it go? Ask yourself can I let it go? Would I would I let it go? Just feel it. And when after allowing yourself to feel to see what's going on, what am I feeling? You feel it in your body like can't move. And you you're allowing yourself to feel it. Then you can ask yourself the three questions. Can I let it go? Would I? And when? So beautiful. That's it for tonight. and the mitzm next week Wednesday night will continue hopefully mit if I'm not too busy my son's wedding is this being the next Sunday mashm you're all invited here on liquid but hopefully I'll have find some time because I think I'm going to need it some time off where I can just breathe and be with you people thank you very much thank yourself for taking some time off and we'll be in touch.