It’s not as glamorous as it seems.

I want to be real with you guys. Like really real. Like even a little bit vulnerable real. I have been having a hard time creating content the past little while. And I think it comes from a few factors. There's imposttor syndrome. You know, I say to myself, who am I to be giving people messages? And there's this sort of pressure that comes along with the whole thing. I'm not a big influencer, but I'm also not a small influencer either. Um, let's call it a midsize. And it comes with a lot of insecurities. Believe it or not, I have a friend of mine who wants to start putting out content and he asked me what my advice was. And I joked with him, but I was kind of serious. I said, "My advice is don't do it because it's a miserable life. It's miserable. You lose both ways. You lose if you create bad content because you feel bad about yourself because nobody is watching it. And then you feel bad you spend so much time and energy on it. And you lose if you create great content and it goes viral because you're stuck chasing that virality and that feeling all the time. So, you really lose both ways. If you win, you lose. And if you lose, you lose. And why am I sharing with this with you? Because I at the end of the day, I want you to know me for who I am, not just for the little minute videos, couple minute videos that I put out. I think it's important to know the full me. I want to be completely me. And I think that that's how I'm going to break through my little blockage that I'm going through, which is just be me, unadashedly me. Not me trying to pretend to be somebody else. Not me hiding, you know, difficulties that I'm going through, but me in my best moments and me in my tough moments. And if I'm able to truly just be me and let that shine through the camera, then I could do this forever because then I'm not trying to put a show out there, which is such a painful such a painful way to live. I just want to be me. just want to be accepted for who I am. And uh there's no happy ending to this story. There's no lesson here to be learned. This is just a vent and a hopefully an opportunity to share with you who I truly am and and how I truly feel when I'm not in one of my best moments. Anyways, I love you guys. Thank you for being my friend and uh you're the best. What what could I say?