Beginning Again with Renewed Avodas Hashem Acharei Kedoshim - Likutei Halachos 3:5 @ Shirat David

Well, I want to tell you all of this covered the holy sphere, the holy sphere that we're in. We already work by Netzach Sheba the first. We mentioned it with Shaila and Moshe's Yahrtzeit is going to come up a little bit in the learning. And Shem is always giving us a kiss for his mom at the beginning of this Torah that we we've been going through Likutei Halachos from rising early in the morning. It's a very big part of your side of Avodas Hashem. How we wake up, how we begin is how we go go right to the very important to have the right Torah and the right shkofin with Rebbe Nachman's talmid Rebbe Nosson. Zechuso yagen aleinu gives us the right hashkafa. And I just want to mention as well that this is to dedicate all those soldiers who were most in Eretz Yisrael. We'll mention it in the learning. They were literally Acharei Mos Kedoshim in this week's parsha. They were like Nadav and Avihu as said this morning. We were by the Beis Hashem where we were zocheh to be by the Kever Tzion there cemetery there. Beis Kvarim. And the chalukas of the sevivit and the army and it's very special to be by such a holy holy place and Nadav and Avihu. Avihu is he said it was a shar. They they've was for the father. Avi who? Father. And then the Nadav and Avihu was they were nodav their souls. They gave themselves up for Am Yisrael for the sake of Am Yisrael. So we were zocheh to come become Krovei Kodesh, become Kodesh to Hashem. And hopefully we'll be doing that in learning. So let's do it for the shmira elyonah that everyone should be healthy and well, have long life and there's been enough soldiers been taken. And dedicate our learning everyone should just have a besuras tovah for Am Yisrael. Gam ki yesurim of davening Acharei Kedusha. Look at that. Beginning of Likutei Halachos he says in addition a person must go without food before Shacharis. Why? Because it conceals the back of holiness. Acharei Mos Kedoshim. Acharei Kedusha. Such a loshon. Yeah. You go after the Kedusha. That's the Acharei. If you're after Kedusha then he's going to explain. We we mentioned this this concept a few times learning in this perek but we I don't know if you really explained it. So now he's going to actually give us what it means Acharei Kedusha and how important it is. We're going to try to finish this whole chapter now. So let's move. He says Zeh beginas koach hatzchalah. This is the aspect of the power of beginnings. Very big side of Rebbe Nachman's Torahs. How we begin. Yiddishkeit. How we begin the day. Again the concept of Rebbe Nachman is you should begin every moment. But the imagine the beginning of the beginning is even more important. The beginning of the day which is the beginning of beginning every moment. Begin the day in the right way. So chozen panav b'chol pam hatzchalah d'kav b'choach hatzchalah. This means one repeatedly turns back towards the beginning to re-experience the drive and excitement he felt to receive power, inspiration from the beginning. Because every time you think about it bochur, every time you go back to the beginning you get new inspiration. New chizuk. New motivation to begin again. You think I did this already, davened already. I did this learning thing already. I did this shidduch story or whatever it is. No, you begin again with excitement like the first time. Shehu ikar ki chol kol hatzchalah k'mo b'heichal haTorah chanah. So the beginning is the main thing. But all beginnings are what? Difficult. Everyone knows this famous statement. As explained well in the Rebbe's lesson. It's a Torah in in note five. It's all the way in the back. I don't remember which Torah this is but there's a famous Torah from Rebbe Nachman about chol kol hatzchalah. I don't know if anyone here remembers [snorts] which Torah it is. Look at it tomorrow. I'm not such a bakki so let's just have a quick look. Ay yay yay yay yay yay. Fire and water. Yeah. It's a whole Torah. I'm not finding it right now. Oh wait a second. I was in the right Here we go. Five. Yeah. Chazal this this one's really chol kol hatzchalah. Everyone's included each other. I don't see how it takes us to that Torah but the main point is we have to realize that we have the ability when we're learning and beginning and doing something new to find the freshness, to find the the good in in the beginning because it's going to be difficult. And difficult doesn't mean you give up. It means you're aware that it's going to be difficult. Like you start a new business endeavor. You start a new relationship. It's going to be challenging but you you're aware of it and that gives you the fresh power, the energy, the motivation, inspiration to go through it. Um over b'sof Hashem b'shvil zeh shvechnish adol l'atchil b'chol pam mechudash. Yeah. Well now it's clarified at the beginning of that lesson and at the end of the lesson that you have to put all your inspiration into the devotions from the beginning. So you must endeavor to begin fresh every time. Lo tiyei avodah yesheina. So it shouldn't become old. Yiddishkeit should never become old. It's something my Rebbe and my Rebbe's Rebbe Simcha Zissel used to scream at people like older people like in you know like a Avodas Hashem way. Remember? He used to say you shouldn't get to Yom Tov and say I've learned these Torahs already. I've done this Pesach thing, this Shavuos thing, this Sukkos thing. I've done this already. No, you should approach it every time. Yeah. Right now is Yom HaZikaron or Yom HaAtzmaut. You should approach it every time with a new understanding of the way Hashem is shining into the world this moment. You know tonight is Gevurah she b'chesed of Tiferes. So Hashem is shining a new a new light of Tiferes of truth in the world that never was before. Pas and Peh Vav. With everything that's happened in the last years and all the meshuctim that came to Monsey. It's a new energy and to get old is is not really understanding how Hashem is constantly creating maaseh bereishis again and again. And that should bring us this chidush constantly. It's a big big klal in in in Breslov Torah and in Torah in general. Ki ikar koach ha'avodah he k'fi hatzchalah. Because the main energy in serving Hashem is in accordance with the beginning. Remember our Simcha Zissel get to Hodu lashem ki l'olam chasdo. Tomorrow at the beginning of Zichru l'Yom HaShabbos he puts so much energy into that initial Hodu. Just the ritzonus. He said the it's like the beginning of the real part of Shacharis. Energy into it. Hodu lashem ki l'olam chasdo. Not like Yeah. No. It's energy. Yeah. Energy that ritzonus. Exactly. How you begin is how it continues. Oken sa'ar b'chol pam mechudash. Ki l'olam lo hayisa tachalah b'tchilas k'rois. Each time must begin anew since perhaps his first beginning at the start there's no way that it should be. Oken sa'ar hilu ata. Therefore one needs to begin right now. That was what we were saying this morning. Were you there? I missed it. So he said be there right now. He said we don't know what's going to be tomorrow with the matzeivah in Eretz Yisrael. But right now we're sitting around the Beis Kvarim singing the g'nim with with kedoshim soldiers, holy soldiers. Be here now. Right now we're able to do that. We're now to learn it after Mincha Maariv in Shul Tiferes. We're to sit here and learn Torah together and and not feel like I'm worried, nervous in the back of my mind there's going to be a siren or anything. Have to be now, right this minute, now. Be present with the now. It's very important loshon ata. Oken sa'ar it's hilu ata. It's to begin again right now. Chein b'chol yom b'chol pam einsham. Begin every day anew. And and you have to study this this Torah. Yeah. We have to have to learn this Torah that Rebbe Nachman brings down. I think it's in lesson five. I think that's where it is. This that's that's where I was making a mistake. It didn't mean go note five in lesson five. If a person fasts for two days the second day has greater value but only because we determine the period of his fasting on the first day by turning back to begin recognizing the hours he Most of us aren't fasting two days. Here's an example someone fasts two days. Rav Amram He he keeps both days of Yom fasting of Yom Kippur. Yeah. The 10th. The ninth and the 10th. I I mean we're meant to eat but he apparently his mom shifted to the 11th I think. Something like that. He had he has he's in a different madregah but us normal people yeah we we generally are not fasting two days in a row. Oken b'chol bo ki kodem t'filas shacharis l'tzainus. And therefore every morning before praying Shacharis one must fast. U'v'leila achu kodem t'filah k'dei l'hotzi diburim metzav ha'goyim k'dei k'nao. And this is the whole Torah we were learning last time. He should not eat and drink before praying in order to what? To extract the sparks in the letter of the speech from the narrow of the throat. O yedei zeh she chozen el hatzchalah. By returning to the beginning. This is the underlying the fast. This concept of fast to get back to this madregah in of a new fast, a new davening, a new avodah, a new day. And to have that kind of holiness to your to your avodah. Now I remember I've already said the disclaimer that I drink coffee and this and this and this and that. And especially when you have a Yahrtzeit of Shaila. Shaila was all about shefa, bringing down, giving challahs to people, making people feel welcome, how welcoming them into a shul. You know one of the tzaddikim when he'd see a new person in shul he'd come bring him a coffee. Shalom aleichem. Here's a coffee. Relax. You're welcome in the shul. Such a thing. But I know Rebbe Nachman but you know there's other avodahs of chesed and he was talking kind of to his door. They they they used to wake up at 3:00 in the morning. Yeah. They were holy holy men. The shvacha dosh. We have to be real with our generation and and not not not you know. But he said but this point is getting back to this concept. This is explaining now this Acharei Kedusha. This achdus beginas d'veikus Acharei Kedusha is a concept of attaching and concealing the back of holiness. What does this mean? She chozen b'chol pam el ois rishon v'oish einsham. It is an aglas eda'ah chaim. The stepping back method of writing the name of Hashem and one repeatedly returns to the first letter. As explained this. So there's a whole Torah of Rebbe Nachman in Torah five about returning. So the idea of Acharei of the Shem Havaya is you first write Yud, then you write Yud Keh, then you write Yud Keh Vav, and finally Yud Keh Vav Keh. And minus name each way additional letters draws from the first. So So idea is you're drawing out and it's catches which also the shame of eye, a renewal of your connection. It's like a shame's constantly creating creation. A shame's revealing his name in a renewed way. It's a deep concept, you know, I don't know if I totally understand it. But um, you know, that the fact that I don't even, you know, I'm not even holding to drink, not drink coffee before dining. So I'm only like, let's be humble here and just be real. I'm not really holding it. So we'll get to something more practical for us in a minute from Gedaliah. He's going to help us in a minute. Zas we can about you keep going on the young Marcus speaking of scale of asset by word of the cleaners for dodging the bottom. So this idea must done in the morning since you know every day in the morning must make a new start in the divine service. They are renewed in the mornings. As if he had never before begun serving Hashem. These are all famous things that we say every day. A young a new day. Khasar want us to treat each day as every day should be new. That's how we should experience life like new in our eyes. Shouldn't just take for granted we get another day in the world. And these words I told you this day should be upon your heart. Hashem wants us to have fresh connection to him. It's a famous pasuk. That similarly that the verse be attentive and hear you Israel this day, this day, this day, not the other day. Yeah, a new day of sphere, it's a different day, different energy, different ticking, different avoda. A new day. Don't say, "Oh, I did most kedoshim last year." No, it's a new parsha, new time. You've ever never done it tough to pay up before Messiah comes. Never done it with your nefesh, with your family, with your situation, with everything going on. It's a new experience. Every davening is a new davening. That's how we have to try experience it with freshness, with freshness, with with renewal. And every day needs to be as if it was a new day that never happened before. And it's needs to be the day the first time you're entering into a covenant with Hashem. Like we had at Har Sinai. Yeah, every day we're receiving the Torah. Every day we're getting the opportunity to come in front of Hashem a new time, a new relationship. Imagine shalom bayit. We're talking about relationship flow here. Imagine the type of shalom bayit if you look at your every time you come home to your wife, you're looking as a new opportunity to connect to this new fresh soul that's come down today. Her soul, your soul. You're all excited like a young young chosson getting married. That's the way we need to look at our marriage. Like every time he would come home, he would he would he make sure he's spotless like in his clothes. So you need to get into a good state of mind to come in the door and be samecha and happy to see his wife. The samecha when it's like a new my color, my holy color. I'm going to see my soulmate. That kind of renewal you bring into your relationships with your children. Ah, another day I get to see children, these these gifts that Hashem's given me. Yeah. Imagine bringing that into everything. Yeah, I get to see the rabbi, get to see my friends. Everything starts to be fresh. You don't get just all same all same. That's the yetzer hara. Everything needs to be new. Fresh fresh fresh. Yeah, a new covenant, new kabbalas Torah. We have to begin every Tainess, that's eating before praying in the morning is forbidden since we're training ourselves is an aspect of fasting. I just wait until the full time. So he's saying, he's been saying the whole time that fasting takes us back to the beginning. By us practicing practicing self-control, he conceals the back of holiness in the klippah. The idea is to protect all these things that we deal with like food and drink. It shouldn't fall into the other side. The person who returns to the beginning each time making a fresh start, he is a new and further conceals the back of holiness. The fallen spark can then be elevated and restored to the realm of holy. That's what's happening. After most kedoshim, we're bringing everything after kedoshim kedoshim by us fasting a little bit. We're bringing everything back to kedusha. So now I'm just going to read a little bit. Um, next week we'll do the summary of this whole chapter. We're starting a new chapter. This is chapter halacha three. We're going to go into halacha four. We're moving in Rabbi Nachman Safer. Tomorrow we got Rabbi Nachman tomorrow. Um, and today was halachis which is Rabbi Nachman. And bezras Hashem, the rest of the week will be with pre-seder, with the seder, with seder of coin. But let's just read a little bit of Gedaliah cuz he gives you an eight so that can be very practical. We have right now 49 days. We were talking about it yesterday in the Tanya. 49 nine days we count. Yeah, men test to men and men women. We're these these gifts every day every day is a gift, a treasure. And Gedaliah says also a concept of 40 as well. Anyone work on something, want to change a habit, you have this concept of 40. He says, our teachers our sages tell us it takes about 40 days to break a habit. Say you got God forbid addicted to smoking, yeah? Or God forbid No way. No, he doesn't. God forbid you got addicted to to your phone or whatever it is, yeah? You got some habit you picked up. It's very common nowadays for us to get, you know, just escape the pain by addiction or something. The first 13 days will be unbearable. When you start [clears throat] separating, it's going to be really really hard. Yeah, remember we're doing the sphere in a minute. So let's not forget. The second 13 days will be uncomfortable. Won't be unbearable. You'll be able to deal with it, but it's going to be uncomfortable. And then the last days, the last 13 14 days, you will be unstoppable. Yeah? Give your give give your soul the gift of growth by enduring short-term pain for what? Long-term pleasure. We have to think about the long term. Gedaliah has a way of speaking. He just he just gets it. He says change may hurt first, but if you can stay in it, if you hold steady through the pain and don't run back to what's easy, something very powerful begins to happen. Suddenly you've developed the confidence. You can do this. You become stronger than the habit. You start to feel clarity, energy, freedom. This is how you rewrite your soul with patience, prayer, consistency, and compassion. So I'm going to hold back from drinking or having fresh thing before davening. I'm not going to have a kiddush before davening, breakfast in a hotel before davening. Even when I'm in a hotel, I'll eat later after davening, yeah? Or I'll miss breakfast. Big deal. Shabbos kodesh, you don't have to eat your breakfast before davening. Yeah, coffee's enough. If that's, you know, the minimum. It should be enough. Yeah, this is how you rewire your soul, your patience, prayer, consistency, compassion. When it feels unbearable, talk to Hashem. When it feels uncomfortable, remind yourself why you started. Journal your triggers. You're going to get triggered. It's going to be hard. But journal it. Make it bring it into write write about it. Celebrate small wins. Yeah, every little macro sorry, micro sorry, micro victories. You have to do a lot of little mini victories. And keep moving. Most people give up right before the shift. Don't let temporary discomfort steal your permanent growth. Amazing, huh? What a good idea. Anyways, we should be Hashem after most kedoshim will become holy kedoshim like this these these parshas and the sphere, we can elevate ourselves and by beginning anew again and again we have the fresh energy to face everything and deal with everything. And never to let oldness creep in when we're young. Rabbi Nachman wants to be fresh. He wants to be young. He he got to that penimius level where he was always connected into the penimius of the briah, Hashem constantly being mechadesh everything again and again and again. So he was constantly bringing down such revelations of Torah and and simcha and and love between Jews and and and the world bezras Hashem. And bezras Hashem with that we'll be zocheh to Messiah because Messiah's going to come in in a shas chacham when we're not at least expecting it. And the good news is because we're present, we'll be ready for it. Um, I mean I mean I know that sounds contradiction, but we'll be ready for it.