Basics of Emunah #21: Why Do We Learn Gemarah by Rabbi YY Jacobson

the yeshiva dotnet [Music] tonight I'm going to respond to questions that I received everybody is welcome to send in any questions you could do it now if you want on a piece of paper or you could email it to a muna at the yeshiva dotnet a muna at the yeshiva dotnet everything is confidential and remains anonymous if you so wish and this evening I'm going to respond to a few questions that came in a few emails not from one person but many people asked similar questions so I'm just putting them together and I'm going to respond basil Shum to some of these questions to the best of my ability I have hundreds of questions waiting literally hundreds of questions I try to group them together into categories to make it a little easier to be able to cover at least some ground so let me begin this evening with the first question that came in from around five or six people I'm going to read one I'm not going to read all of them I'm going to read one of them you'll get the idea of the question I am a teacher in a yeshiva I teach 15 year old boys 16 year old 17 year olds and even 18 year old high school base Madras yeshiva Kitana yeshiva gaedola many of the boys are open with me and they asked me the following question why do we spend so much time learning Gemara what is its relevance to our lives we happen to be learning now my septic service peyrac naira Omarosa and these poor boys want to know why we spend so many hours learning texts they say most of the scenarios and events will never happen in their lives most of it seems completely abstract and impractical Mo's gomorrah's that they have learned or they will learn speak about scenarios that are really not going to unfold in their lives in the near future at least they hope it's not going to unfold in their life and they asked me they say Rebbe why do we learn this for so many hours I heard the other day a few weeks ago you gave a class and you quoted a letter from a boy a young man learning in Yerushalayim in a Khalil who wrote to you that he learns eight hours a day about an ox and he wants to know how learning about an ox will bring him closer to God well that's essentially their question and frankly I have to tell you I'm their teacher I think I'm a good teacher but I have no answer when I was a boy I had the same question when I asked it I was never given an answer I don't know if it's a question that you now letter ask I don't know if I am the only one who had this question I doubt it maybe many boys just go along with the system and they find it so goosh mock so delightful so delicious so beautiful the question doesn't even come up that's I guess wonderful and great but a bunch of boys in my class we were having this conversation and they keep on bringing up this question and they say what benefit is there for life what benefit is there emotionally what benefit but if it is there psychologically what benefit is there spiritually what benefit is there practically most of it is not even halakhah Lamesa and we really spend most of the day doing this for years and years perhaps you can enlighten me a boy writes to me a similar letter a boy himself says I am sick of this curriculum everybody thinks I'm successful I have a good head I learn a lot and I find it completely irrelevant I just understand it and then people tell me that this is the purpose of my creation to learn this can anybody explain this to me perhaps you can explain it to me please don't tell me just go learn more and the reason you have questions is because you're not learning enough and if must hail the bass I'm a Jewish if you guys go back to the basic manners all the questions and all the problems will go away I've tried that for many many years and none of the questions went away please don't answer that answer it's really a wonderful question it's an excellent question I know that this side of the mejia may not be perturbed by this question as much as this side of the mijita for obvious reasons but even this side of the magista many of the mothers know what your children do all day and by a woman's ear I sometimes say over Stickle Gemara and after four minutes I really see everybody eyes you know giving me that strange look because it's not relevant to their emotional lives and I say I just wanted you to know what some of your boys are doing four seven eight nine ten hours a day for many many years so when they come home you can empathize you can empathize with them I think it's very important to address this question to ignore it is really unfair and unjust and if we can't respond to this question woe onto us so I'm not going to give an exhaustive answer but I'm going to say a few points that I think can be relevant and meaningful and inspiring the first thing is learning learning in Judaism learning Torah and Judaism is a central central theme as all of the writers bring out and convey we don't just learn for practical purposes you need to know what to do you have to read the manual before you know how to operate the machine if that would be the case we would just learn how locker to know how to operate the machine but that's not what that's not only what learning is in Judaism the I once heard from the chief rabbi of former chief rabbi of Britain Rabbi Jonathan Sacks wanted to bring out how Jews look at learning Tyrel and he says he was once in the hospital he was there for a treatment he had some illness and he was there in the hospital and he was lying in his bed and an older Jew was also in the hospital and he was walking around in the hallway the man was walking with a walker and he was looking into the rooms to see who's there and when he saw drew he walked in to say hi so he sees this person with a yarmulke happened to be the British chief rabbi this elderly drew from London walks into his room and without saying Oh chief rabbi you're here it's great we could ever cover Allah together I'm going to get my Kamara it's so great we could learn together and he said once he was driving he had a Russia she wasted a night she snores I was a Muslim Rabinowitz a bit comical and there was a traffic jam in London London has horrible traffic jams and especially Sheba without skipping artbeat takes out of Gomorrah and starts learning with him and soon people are beeping and beeping and beeping but he was already in a different world he had to bring him back bring him back to reality on some coast area there is a scene that in other cultures is non-existent it's really a surreal scene we take it for granted but we shouldn't take it for granted I mean imagine once a year we'll have that all of the Senators of the United States and all the congressmen would take out the Constitution of the United States of America and they would dance around Capitol Hill with the Constitution yeah or all lawyers when they graduated they passed the bar they would take the main text of their law books and dance around dance around their classrooms with it or doctors would do it when they graduated with their medical textbooks we would not trust these doctors and lawyers or politicians we would say that they need an examination by other doctors and yet that's what we do once a year Clouser all take out our texts of law and we dance and dance and dance and dance holding onto it and the answer of course is if it would just be a book of laws a manual of instructions it wouldn't trigger that type of joy but as we say each night key aim Cayenne over the main of the perspective on terror is that it's life to the Jew or is rebbi akiva says in my circus brothers where is it summa kalla bracha 61 it's what water is to the fish toyotas to the Jewish people but but what is it obviously a guide for life a guide for history a manual a blueprint for navigating our journey collectively and individually a blueprint to suck the marrow out of life and live out our deepest potentials and maximize ourselves physically spiritually emotionally psychologically spiritually individually and collectively that's a general description of Tyla but these boys this teacher are asking specifically about the learning of Gemara and that's what I'm going to go on now to this to the aspect of learning tomorrow and that is when a person learns Gemara we're not just learning the text it's a text obviously we're learning what's called in swaram camasta Shalaka - Morocco meaning the way God thinks this is an access this is a key to Hashem mind so to speak Tyrel including Amara and Ingemar it's very emphasized because of the unique intellectual rigorousness of it every word of it every line of it is masala curd is Morocco it's divine wisdom there's a legendary mirror Asha Shiva many of the buckram go to the mirror and you're salam just to learn by Henry Bosch I really yes six hundred boys who sit in their ear it's hard to get a seat so in the opening of the year of this man of the semester usually gives a speech I heard one of them and he quoted the words of the ballot Anya in chapter 5 of Tonya when he says he learning in Amara shame-eating Reuven cash machine McAfee up sake named - la jolla Hodari Zelalem love I wish / - tightness of three Israel you're learning if Reuben comes and says this and Shipman says this this is what the verdict shall be even though it's a scenario that never happened and never will happen it never happened this is this is mustard signature look at this Morocco it's the divine way of thinking it's the divine logic it's divine rationale it's a shams will see says when a person learns this the Tanya says who you couldna Fleur Shan you thought como yo nimza you should new flesh and you could come over like air-crane in sacral Leah slaw cardamom you're harder mama schmack old sod opener it's a type of unity that has no parallel in any other experience where a person internalizes and absorbs the divine blueprint the divine mind the divine thought that's number one and this is true of every sawara every idea every question every answer every proof every refutation every response to the refutation question on it whether it's the conclusion this way whether it's rejected whether it's embraced every single line of it is a glimpse into the intimate inner working a vehicle of the ribbon asylums mind and heart Formosa or at Sinai Shalaka - Morocco in other words there's no intimacy with the divine like the intimacy of learning Turner a once on Lewis the Lubavitcher ever was talking about learning Tyra so he gave a beautiful illustration and he said that a Jewish boy oh boy no difference Jewish not a little boy or a little girl they're waiting at home for Tati to come home all day and Patti finally comes home from work it's been a long day and he walks through the door and right when he walks through the door that little two or three year old cute and gellick boy runs over and screams totty totty and stretches out both of his hands requesting to be picked up and father picks up his child and they just embrace and that moment of affection of closeness of love is one of the unique special moments in in life that's why we work so hard and raise families and have children it's one of those special moments of of that makes life and the challenges of life worth living so the Jew is working all day stressed he's overwhelmed he's entrenched in all of the hustling to make ends meet and make a living and at night he comes home so he says naturally instinctively what does the little boy do he says until Fablab Gemara he said he opens up a bloody Gomorrah as he runs into his father's arms and he embraces him and he gets embraced by him it's the most instinctive essential natural thing for the Jew who's in touch with his or her true self true Jewishness true Jewishness to do but there's another point I want to make and the second one I want to make to you who writes this question all of you write this question particularly to these teenage does the few teenage boys who wrote to me and to their teachers I never met in my life I met a lot of people I met a lot of boys in yeshiva or former yeshiva students or presentation students I never ever met a person who disliked who hated learning ah you wrote to me in the letter how much you hate it then you despise it I guarantee you it's because nobody ever taught you real learning sadly in many institutions people go through a system and they never really learned they sit for hours and four years now imagine if I would take a 49 year old boy and put him in to a university laughter with a teaching Chinese in Mandarin and he would sit there for the next ten years six seven hours a day and listen to lectures and mandarine yokai read what I write for 10 years if you don't say you hate it then there's something very of course you hate it a lot of our boys and girls sits for ten years and hear Chinese that's the fact another swoon another shaggy sigh another Rambam another toy risen under my arms if another marshal they don't know what hit em they have no background some of them don't know Hebrew they don't know a love base they don't know how two types of buses Hummers they don't know a mission the main thing is there's a steer between two round bombs and a primer a burrow bear answers the steerer a boy once came to me I was teaching in a yeshiva and he asked me a question on a March or so from the question I immediately knew that he's been sitting in a Chinese university for 10 years so I said very good but the question of the Masha is not on the answer of tourists so let's first understand what Tyler says an answer so what this noise to say I hear from the answer that he didn't even begin to begin to know well toys whose answers on a question so what's the question he didn't understand the question toasters his question is the hunter a she Peter shock hunters what does rashes he didn't understand it actually rash he's explaining the mission or whether the mission to say he didn't begin to know what the Mishna says now a blue kid who's not honest with himself could just cruise through such a system but anyone who has a little cell respect himself dignity at some point he's going to start socially he's gonna get sick with himself what am i doing where am I wasting my life and that's why you have to be I always tell bokram be honest with yourself nothing wrong if you learn machine is learn machine is a major percent of every page of gamora's mission if you know she's your sister mission you'll know much of sass be honest with what you understand learn everything with a structure with a beginning with a minnow with an end don't take anything for granted don't believe anything Turner you have to understand Turner you have to comprehend you have to use your mind that's why it's so important that people shouldn't fool themselves they deceive themselves for years and then at some point they wake up in the morning they know nothing how could you there's no Seder there's no system there's no honesty there's no integrity there's no structure if you do it this way it's impossible to hate it I never found anybody who waited it why the geese mock the richness of it the beauty of it the way of thinking the paradigms the intellectual integrity the honesty the perspectives are very very delightful and rich but you need to be honest in your learning and if you have to go like a turtle go like a turtle there's something else a little deeper I want to say another point and that is and it's a profound idea but it's a very important idea when you're learning the Gemara you're reading a question an answer achacha to youth Darius Marder McCoy Cassano kimeta whatever it is there are forests that are being conveyed that seemed to be talking about ox uber or a bull or a donkey or a cow or a carbon or whatever else you're learning about and you say what's not relevant to me but if you could go deeper into this far into this logic and you can dissect it to its skeleton to its core you will find that this is not just an idea about this particular scenario this is an idea that is far more abstract and therefore has implications in every area of life if you take it even further you'll be able to see that it's really a spiritual idea and this spiritual idea has relevance philosophically theologically psychologically emotionally socially and spiritually but for this you need real learning real real deep learning by shamim basil--oh argue crush us dozens and hundreds of McLucas if you look at dozens of them they're arguing about a various abstract idea what's more important than life potentiality or self actualization take a look at the bonus year and a bonus and throughout science they argue what's more important community or individualism you take a look at our buyer and robber r-robber small w who then rep mayor abacavir every schewe these are arguments that deal with fundamental ideas in life and they're manifested in this in this particular area when you learn Turner like that suddenly you see there's a high septon sign hadn't paid it evolve look at Rivoli says it call our toy ring and echoed the whole trader is one and every smarter could be learning is worship you're learning service learning our mission Baba kama a sivanna Akasha Araya mandala and I married or Tonga they had a Mahalo that if she toss a Heian doesn't only deal with this area you have here a cohesive idea that effects and has ramifications in theology philosophy science psychology emotion spirituality and practical day-to-day life some of the guy in him and the last generations were very into this mahalik like an abusive angle the Rockets are gone the prior brisker was more in this in every per to the brisket mahalik and every place to to excavate the depth of it and others but this is something that we have to understand what we learned tired it's an extremely powerful and exciting journey not only intellectually emotionally true and this movie more there's a beautiful interpretation of the Vilma gone and this is the Vilna Gaon says this he has a commentary on Sheridan initially share shittim to but i mislaid there's a Mitchell posture Commissioner I think it's chapter five and proverbs yahi Makaha burrow smack my Asia snow Rafa your source should be blessed and you should rejoice with the wife of your youth literally it means your reproductive source should have a broker you should be able to reproduce and you should be happy with your spouse with your youthful with the spouse of your youth the Vilna Gaon explains in his commentary on this lay everything in Mitchell II is about wisdom about Tyra she says hehe Makaha borrow entire of these two levels there's what's called niggler and there's what's called mister niggle is the concrete manifestation of tighter dealing with physical reality mister is every concept and Tyra just like it talks about a physical reality it's also addressing a spiritual metaphysical psychological reality he he Makaha burrow when your source when you understand the source of the niggler and it's blessed Oh smack malaysia snow raha then you'll go back to the toyota that you learnt in your youth and you'll have a whole new simcha a whole new joy in the trader because you'll see how the intricacies of every aloha are so powerful because they're consistent with profound cosmic spiritual truths so you're learning healthcare shoppers we were learning a little while ago acabas you now let us select the bad from the good to Boyer what are you allowed to do on Shabbos you let it take the good from the bath for eating a salad then you don't like onions you can't take out the onions but if you want the tomatoes avocado right you girls know you take other Tomatoes you take of the avocado the boys longer mud I don't know if they know this but in similar senior tests and there's an artifact i manila rhombus from a short sugamice after Shabbos you have a lockers where our tribe is you could take the good from the bad not the bands from the good at the surface it's about salads or cutlery or bottles of soda or a chess game or books or clothes whatever you trying to select on Chavez but the truth is there's a deeper dimension here what's the deeper dimension every person in their life has good and bad every person has eyeful and every person as soilless every person has avocados and every person has onions you have to decide what's the ocean alone what's up soilless a whole week we're busy selecting one from the other that's part it's called the vedas herbarium on Shabbos what do you see on Shabbos on Shabbos you focus on the good in your life Boyer held me tight Silas this is discussed in smaller and cetera there are countless count literally countless examples like this the shallow rights so an extraordinary shallow he says that the Gomorrah says in my sector tsukada of curse that rebuking of Ben Zakai law Heaney a cadaver goggle with over cuttin he didn't abandon a big thing or a small thing what's the big thing my summer cover what's Dover cotton her vias the abaya very over the discussions of a buyer and rubber that's a Dover cotton my simmer cover the divine chariot what's called Clemmy Saturn a cabal in it Dover God as the shallow dearest showing him already asking to be twice have I stopped by every over you call it over cotton he says doesn't his soit colossus row since we Jews do all day learning about how he cool how does the good murder calls it another cotton it's a small thing so the shallow gives an extraordinary interpretation and says and today we can appreciate it even more than in the 17th and 16th century the age of the shelah Ravenna your Shia Horowitz who lived in Frankfurt and Prague and yerushalayim he says you look up to the sky and you see a tiny little star it's tiny tiny near it you see another star it looks like it's five and feet away once thought another stars ten feet away he says if you would have the proper instruments you would know that some of these stars are not only larger than the entire planet Earth they're larger than the moon and some of these stars as we know today are billions of light years away but enough from our perspective our tools they look tiny so I'm gonna give Margaret Dover cottonmouth Leah's have I used I buy a bit of a double my summer cover it's not two separate things it's the same thing what down here looks like a double cotton if you would see it from the perspective of my summer cover you would see that it's a God little you would see that it's infinite from one little seed he says grows an entire tree the seed is nothing I've ever cut and throw it in the garbage now if you see microscopically if you could look and see what's in the seed if you could see it from the perspective of my sim recover from the divine holistic perspective on the world suggested of a cotton acid avocado that's true but every single allaha every slaughter every month on every mission every sticker Gemara very few things as exciting like this in in life but for this you shouldn't close yourself up to any part of theta we sometimes present and teach very narrow Judaism open yourself up to the infinity of all dimensions all dimensions of Tyria do something else about Gomorrah and that is it teaches you how to think it teaches you how to think people are really learning good more they learn how to think and they learn how to think like a Jew should think like like God thinks it refines your mind not only intellectually but emotionally and spiritually but there's a fifth thing and this is I think what I want to leave you with and that is when you open up a good Mario you learn your Mario at least so I feel and I think everybody is capable of feeling it I suddenly become part of a living organism of history that dates back thousands of years the kimono quotes are posthumous partial swish spot them barcia's Emer parshas boy whatever it is passion is my yak Hill molasses Malthus retired a posthumous was written by moisture remain Oh 3,300 years ago then I'm learning a mission and a quote of this passage that was written by Rob you de nasi who lived in the second century after the Common Era moisture Bain who is in the in the moisture urbane who is 13 13 in a Jewish calendar 2 4 4 8 since creation is the year of math entirely it's a Smith's I am 2 4 8 8 is the 40th year when they go and tear it is row and 1500 years later I'm reading a mission interview the halassi wrote and in the mission he quotes by Shama and basil--oh who lived a hundred or two hundred years before I'm a century before the destruction of the base second base I'm in touch he's quoting Ramon I'm Lila reviewer who lived a century or half a century before him suddenly in middle of this conversation I have moisture I'm a bacilli from the Lille I buy a rubber walkin from the 5th century after the Common Era and they give their opinion and their input they force are you and then comes Rashi and explains and toy Smithson asks and Marsha answers and Myra answers and my ram chief makes a harder suddenly I open up or Rashi and she is 11th century Highsmith's 12th century I open up a Rambam the 1100 seremban our rajma the next century or a balloonism I'm reading a text and thousands of years of Jewish life are all present with me I'm not talking to people sitting in the room only I'm having a live conversation with rebar she I'm having a live conversation with Rashi I'm having a living conversation with the Rambam with a buyer with Miss Hiller with rebbi akiva people who are not here for thousands of years I'm talking I'm trying to understand I'm inquiring I'm asking I'm questioning I'm getting frustrated I'm getting excited suddenly 3,000 years of history people are present in a room alive and well schmoozing with each other well still you have that in the world Ramesh Shapiro once said he says he open up the one who use for the lube linear of founder of achievers Caleb linen defying me he once said you open up a Gomorrah Talmud awfully he says look what you have you have radiographically you have the planet that kyboots Ghoulia's he says on the page you have the Mishnah that was heir to sir all then you have the Gemara was written in bubble and iraq then you have Rashi on the left side on the right side and that was written in France and then you have tourists on the other side was written in France or in Germany or in England the avril bane of carnal North Africa you have that going sabha krakow poland you have a going sorrow Luther a Nia you go to the back of them are sure there of of Elam you have the rush from Villa you have they run from Spain robbing anism you have the RAM bond and the Raj Mandir it's for Spanish jury you have the reef for Morocco and if you have art scroll you have America and if you have oil heart my sister then you have artist row and suddenly here you have the illustration of what the Gomorrah tells a story my sector of a disorder now if you test your cannon urban trading was being burnt alive and as he was being burnt alive with a safe attire his students said what do you see and he said I seek villainous Ruffin boy see Spartacus the parchment being burnt and the letters soaring the letters are soaring and what happened to these letters they didn't disappear they were transplanted in every community and every city and every shtetl where Jews lived since the days of Canada been trodden till this damn when you open up a bit more you open up a mission eyes open up I ramble open a bushel corn or if you open up Irish in and after it and you walk with it and you learn it and suddenly you're in our living conversation with the cacif missioner and with arrival with the last mission and with the maram shift with Rashi and with Taurus with our Miriam with a mission and everybody is there talking to you challenging you and you're challenging them and Jewish eternity is being created right here but when teachers teach Gomorrah they have to give this feeling to their students they have to convey it they have to embody it the the fortune the extraordinary experience of continuing this legacy of continuing continuing this chain ok I think this is at least a few ideas to think about of the value of learning Amara I should just say that I believe that many achievers do have to expand their curriculum because I don't think today Judaism should be one-dimensional you disguises so infinitely large it is so vast it is so rich why is it that so many graduates of yeshiva come out knowing so having such a narrow understanding of Yiddish guide and it takes them sometimes years and years and years to even uncover various layers of depth there is so much and I don't think it has to take away much from learning tomorrow but there's a lot of time and I believe boys girls should be exposed to the full spectrum the rainbow the rainbow of Titor that gives us tools to be able to live as Jews without the totality of ourselves not just some kids are gifted with IQs and they're good with acrobatic intellectual what's called you know some good people our athletes they're good with akka what acrobatic stunts acrobatic intellectual exercises you're not good at it who should long tomorrow yeah okay I Russa merits me da or recover Minnie um okay I'm going out to the next question can you help me out with the matter that I feel is real peacock nefesh at least spiritually speaking I teach another teacher most of my boys are 14 through 17 some 18 many are completely not motivated towards anything they have a negativity towards learning and towards life in general the yeshiva officially caters for these boys but they don't seem to be fulfilled in any way I hear you talk about in your classes living every day to the fullest with your body your heart your soul your mind they don't live any day to the fullest they're completely uninterested in learning Amara or any matter in yeshiva they lack all of enthusiasm some of them are simply depressed empty full of anxiety and they feel like they're wasting their lives how do I save these boys from depression emptiness anxiety I'm wasting their lives the only reason they're in yeshiva is because they want to do what their parents want them to do so they're just fulfilling their parents wishes they're not rebellious boys they even sometimes want to learn and deep down they want to give their parents not us but in reality I watch them they sit year after year through elementary school and then high school you see vac Tana then yeshiva gorillas they go there it's a stroll for a few years everybody says they're staying they are empty they smooth smooth smooth is between cigarettes all day long davin ink is also dry the only on singing by daven is some of the teachers and then holla otherwise it's dead I am NOT to Russia Shiva I can't change the curriculum I can't change the syllabus I can't change the mass after detracted I spoke to the Dean to their head the Russia Shiva he tells me if we would change anything we wouldn't be considered a yeshiva and the good boys would not come there's a pressure what's called a yeshiva you should ask to have a certain look a certain curriculum if I change anything is is I'm going to destroy my reputation and it's not gonna happen which means rabbi Jacobsen we're not really thinking about the boys we're only thinking about the image of our yeshiva and when I speak to the boys they say yeah we want a real yeshiva we want a proper yeshiva we don't want to achieve ER for those who didn't make it in the system we want the real one I cannot sit idle watching precious souls do nothing all day without an iota of inspiration or emotional growth how am I supposed to handle this well in addition to what I said above which I think is very relevant since this question is more expensive I'm going to add a few things and I know maybe it's going to sound a little strange but I think it's a good idea I think I'm talking to this teacher but I'm talking to all of us I think when you teach five or ten minutes before classes over every day throw in something throw in an insight a thought a feeling an experience a story a seed that contains some inspiration for life it may not be part of the the curriculum and the test but put it in number two I would suggest to you make maleva malkos for them from time to time every week every month a few times a month but sorry Shabbos or another make a meal of America pizza fry sushi not formal not official invite them over and talk to them about real life address your own struggles talk about your own journeys talk about your own experiences as a person as a Jew and listen to their experiences this way you're going to connect deeply once a week carve out 60 or 90 minutes in your classroom to have an open discussion with the boys about their lives ask them if you were in charge in this yeshiva if you built an institution how would you do it what type of schedule would you create what curriculum would you create how would you run it how would you advise your children one you have children not only to survive in your Shiva but to thrive let them brainstorm make them leaders let them share ideas hear what they have to say about their own lives hear what they have to say about about their future let them share their anger let them share their resentment let them share their questions let them share their fear let them share they feel about themselves and tell them before you're not gonna judge them and what they share with you is not going to the principal is not affecting next year's you Shiva is not affecting shidduchim is not going back to their parents you really have to be able to have them trust you with their truth but see what is happening in their mind and in heart and maybe you'll be able to implement some things based on what they tell you in the classroom some seventeen year old kids are brilliant most of them are another thing I would tell you is number four try to create an individual relationship with each boy maybe every day take one and spend with him six minutes ten minutes five minutes schmooze with him talk with him talked with him about learning talk with him about life once a week I want to suggest something to you if you have a teacher that is inspiring to you today everything is available bring in a video to the class and watch with them an hour a half an hour forty minutes twenty minutes an hour and a half of that sheer of that particular teacher wherever he is that inspires you and then talk to them about it Jasha Shiva won't mind you're not destroying a curriculum you're not destroying a syllabus you're not changing you're not changing my separations but if it's inspiring to you do it with them and it could be anybody I'm not suggesting you should take my videos from the Shiva that net if you want I don't mind I'm not gonna I'm not gonna be upset I'll be very happy but some somebody that speaks to you and you think will speak to them and then let them share their feelings every day in middle of class somewhere share something about life tell them something about the world of animals about trees about snowflakes about galaxies about stars about the human body about how we digest food about how we dismiss with talk to them about real life show them the beauty of life and how you disguise speaks and addresses the depth of living experience you could do this constantly the more you educate yourself whenever possible in any Stickle Gemara you're learning or homeless you're learning a mission is you're learning or I love her you're learning put in something from my java every a locker has an element of ashcoff in it of mr. in it he he Makaha Baro was math majors nor ever put in something put in a seat it could be for Musa for March over from considers and when you speak about it don't only present you this guide as a system of rewards and punishments that's important but also talk to them about who they are how God believes in them their infinite potentials how successful they can be how happy Hashem and you disguise wants them to be whenever a Gamora can be applied to practical situations focus on it maybe make two teams play it out discuss what would happen in court you mentioned to me that you learned you were learning above a combination with some hits of your your you're liable for creating a fire that travels like an arrow a shimmer some innovation which I'm a minor of a comic of Bayes why don't you talk about a person who creates a virus in one computer and through the Intel that has the virus traveling through many computers what would the halacha ask the boys let them make a court case about it is this the definition of h what are the practical ramifications of halacha let it come to life to the real world maybe once a week or once a month have a comes it's with them if I bring you with them I swap this with them maybe somebody could play could play a musical instrument so those who like music can express their talents their creativity you'll sing together you'll bond together that's another idea I just want to tell you one thing and that is save one soul and if you can't save one soul save a half a soul if you can't save a half a soul save a quarter of a person's soul one boy at a time one is some at a time one brick at a time don't become overwhelmed but if you can Kindle the spark the heart the soul the idealism of one boy it could be for this your soul came down into the world generally generally you should know that as limited as you think you are by different structures that you feel are rigid with your energy integrity honesty truthfulness sense of humor and love and wisdom you can infuse these boys with priceless gems of inspiration that will carry them through lives and fought through life in five 10 15 20 years later they will know to look back at those precious moments and all over the wisdom that you gave them that's what I would tell you as a teacher a person writes to me as follows ok this is a painful letter the other ones are also but different type of pain when I was a student in school when I was a child in school I wasn't the most liked student by my teachers for a very from a very young age they thought that I was misbehaving I wasn't but I was a personality in my own way and I was always disliked my love of learning faded away I'm talking from Keita Bey's from second grade and up I was hit and there was a lot of verbal abuse I was humiliated and so on but I'm going to stick to the point from grade 2 I was dismissed and even if I would ask a question it was seeing as hutzpah and mischievous so I stopped asking questions and my situation deteriorated I was in eighth grade 12 years old I decided it's a new year I'm almost my Mitzvah I want to start my life again I'm gonna start asking questions cuz I want to feel like the smart good boys in class but I was so disliked so when I opened my mouth to get my words out nothing could come out because I was frightened after so many years that whatever I say I'm going to be ridiculed so I decided one day in the beginning of the I'm gonna wait til my teacher finished this year and usually he would appear up boys four have roses to learn with each other and then if we have questions we can go over them to ask him so I thought that's the time I'm gonna go over to him and I'm gonna make him so proud because I have a good head and I had a very good question while everyone would get a have Roose I was always the one left last without a Caruso I had to wait the longest it really didn't feel good trust me but finally I got my hover oh Santa had this great great question I was so excited wow it's amazing I tell my haru sir i have a question what is it he hears it it's a great question I tell him I want to go ask my teacher remember this is eighth grade since second grade I never asked a question I walk up to him I take all my courage my energy I put all my fear behind me one last time in my life I'm gonna transform my reputation I will cover it them and I say Rebbe and he looks at me fast I was so proud of myself I'm gonna try this one more time I asked my question he looks at me and he says huh you're asking questions go ask so-and-so he's a smart kid maybe he can answer you your question he turns his head away and he goes to the next kid who has a smart question and answers him his response broke me for life never ever that I ask a question again never that I even bother to ask another question in yeshiva the pain I had they had that day still hurts me it still breaks my heart gosh this is so painful to write Wow what do you learn from this my friends what do you learn from this you learn from this one thing the mission at impulse accessor sham created the world through words you know you destroy the world through words you now do you create the world through words here's a boy from second grade till 8th grade was struggling with something and finally he comes for his moment of redemption and he feels rejection again he's now 41 years old and he still walks around with that pain now you'll think what's the big deal you're happy if you teach you they don't look at you right but all of his apples were in this basket so I want to tell you I was once giving a shear here in the small shoal in the morning and I said that the youdescribe wants us to ask questions and somebody said really I said yeah and somebody's sitting there told the following story he was in second grade they were learning parshas boy they learned the pasta that moisture said been a rainy Biscayne I mean Ayla but benignly Beebe no sign it's a nine-year babka rainy Nayla so he raised his hand and he asked his teacher why does it say nail it twice it could have said Ben RA no Biscayne ain't no B Binet no bidness chainable book wicked a new baby sign a new nail cigar someone watch they've been a tiny biscuit 19 eyeless we're going to go and then again Bieber named her since in green a look so the teacher got very very annoys that these questions you'll ask by the - Donna I'm pay so these are some ridiculous question you don't have such a question for the next eight years in yeshiva whenever a boy asked a stupid question the whole class would say bernard i nabisco 19 and now that became the symbol of a foolish question this man 42 or 43 years old never asked a question again in his life first time he asked the question was at my shear after years of of prompting the semester flag in by the man astana by the - Thomas did this now when you're when you how old are you 26 the 26 year old you can do it but a second grader a second grader so I told this younger man who shared this with me I said call that teacher and as that teacher of the clay your car was an idiot ask him if he knew the clay up core was an idiot customer solemn so he'll go crazy yes as you told me that he was an idiot there's me when did I say it you told me been a tiny bisca 19 is the stupidest question but the clay ogre asks it phileo castes and passions were hallo and clay yogurt every McCrory's doyle is printed and even if the clay occur wouldn't ask it it's a good question and even if it's a bad question so to speak what makes a question bad question can't be bad a question sometimes Evers has an easy answer difficult answer no answer who ever heard a thing that a child asks a question and you make fun of a child you mock a child and today it's not only a child who ever in a 20 year old asks a question in your mahkum and usually you mock him because you don't have an answer to this question and it makes you uncomfortable or you just stressed out it stressed out go let out your stress go eat but what do you have to let out and a person who has a question you don't know the answer say you don't know you look it up so somebody else tells me fascinating another boy sitting at the shear who's not 43 is 18 or 19 and and he tells when he was in second grade he also asked the question and when he finished a question his teacher says come with me to the principal what did he do he didn't throw he did any crime so he comes to the principal's office and the teacher says over the question of the principal and the boys trembling maybe he's going to be expelled and the principal says ah ah what a question what a question and he takes out a chocolate bar and he gives him the chocolate bar for asking such a beautiful question and the boy says and I never stopped asking question I got an email a little while ago you should just know from Lakewood a father tells me he says people like to criticize systems and schools and sometimes they have to be criticizing but I want you to know what happened last June last seven in my son's school he has a school of son who has some challenges he has some learning disabilities but he got him the right help and the right tutoring and he did very well and he worked hard he's I think in fifth or sixth grade and he said the last day of school the principle of that particularly Shiva in Lakewood called in his boy and he tells us boy I wanted you should know something I have a school here that I'm responsible for it's our elementary school from first grade to eighth grade then I have a high school another four years then I have a base Madras he also has a girls school it's a budget of approximately nine million dollars a year says I don't sleep I'm in charge I don't sleep and I often ask myself is it worth it I want you to know I watched you this year just to produce one boy like you makes this whole effort worth and the father tells me that what this man did for his son no money in the world could have done for him could have given this boy 9 million dollars it would have not given him the same sense of dignity and empowerment that this principle gave him by doing what by telling him in 20 seconds that this whole school was worth it because of you it's not easy for me to read the next letter and really I guess based on my own judgment I wouldn't read it but the person asked I should and I feel that no one else ever did what he asked for I should it's not easy to talk about but it probably has to be not probably it has to be spoken about I am in my late 30s I'm a Hasidic younger man a Hasidic young man living in a particular community he writes we he's living I'm not gonna say many people look up to me as a London atomic Occam abent area and I've Adela Kim as a Torah scholar as a teacher I'm seen as a spiritual person I'm not seeing as a typical Jew okay I'm seeing as something more I can humbly say that I am an inspiration to many many people they tell it to me I also give a lot of sure might each have a coy look I teach bokram I teach Bella bottom and I teach you in the light that's all on the outside on the inside everything is different my entire life I have a terrible terrible struggle with all issues connected to kedusha and Tyra and purity and eurasia maíam I couldn't figure out what's wrong with a nice perfect holy guy like me I sit and learn and I struggle at home I struggle at work I struggle in my office I struggle in your triva I struggled the base madras i falled that's down sometimes into very very filthy and places for many many years I struggled God had mercy on me I found a solution it's not a permanent one but it's a solution I joined recovery I admitted powerlessness I surrendered to God my habit got me whipped my life was unimaginable my family would be destroyed I started to work in the 12-step program I was in recovery for months and suddenly I started to meet people who I knew from childhood in my community ohso recovery people who used to be friends but we were fake friends and now we became real friends and as I got more sober I discovered a lot of pain in my life and in their life but I still did not know the true story until one day I was walking with a few of these friends from the recovery community and we passed by a certain movie theater in my community on the side of my community I started I started like having a seizure I started trembling they didn't know what to do am I having the structure they call that Salah you see I have a brilliant mind I have a good memory but one thing I repressed to my subconscious and I completely deleted it out of my conscious memory and now some 30 years later it came back because it happened right here in this place this is the place where a guy in my community took a young boy he took me into a private room in this theatre and he did thinks to me that I'm not going to describe to you in detail he abused me he violated me then he took me to a big shul in my community a beautiful big Scholl to a private room that he had there he violated me again and he abused me he took me to hotel he took me back to the theatre he took me back to the show this went on for years I was completely confused and overwhelmed that was full of pain I could tell nobody nobody in the world the most painful fact is one day this man this abuser this murderer introduced me to one of his friends to be able to do the same and this friend was caught by the local authorities in the community where I lived at the time there was something called Vedad sneeze the committee that was in charge for sneeze everybody behaving appropriately and they caught him and he he gave them my name that I was I was now 14 years old he said I was the person who was instigating such inappropriate behavior the VATS Gnaeus called me in but before they called me in my mentor for many years told me what to do he told me my life depends on this he told me exactly what to say and how to say it he promised me that if I would do it he would give me gifts and money I had nothing at home my parents were and are very very poor and I wanted to be friends with him at the end he gave me nothing the VAD called me in and they gave me this whole talk about holiness you have to be holy you have to be pure you have to be innocent you have to have kedusha nothing major and then they made me promise I would never do it again it was the last time I heard from them again but nothing stopped I was continuously molested and violated I was trying to stop but to no avail I am so shattered today of the pain not just of what he did this VAD calls in a 14 year old boy they know that he's involved in something why don't you investigate everything why no support why no protection why did nobody ask me if I need any help why did nobody try to understand what is behind my silence what is this denial that was going on today I am crushed I am broken I am shattered I tell you the story I ask you to share it to help raise awareness with the community I want to give three messages to people message number one stop stop defending perpetrators I don't know why it is that the more from you are the more you can get away with hurting other people we always blame the victim and we let the perpetrators get away just because the perpetrator has a long beard he puts her up in a thomasville and he learns Gemara every day he's a Mahathir and Mitzvahs he shakes by darvany it doesn't mean he's not a murderer we victims don't speak they scream and dance kadosh kadosh kadosh and then they do the worst things and then when we speak about them the whole community comes to their defense nobody knows that we are murdered victims for the rest of our life our souls are crushed destroyed obliterated we don't have normal relationships we don't sleep with the lights closed we don't have dignity we don't have self-esteem we don't trust anybody in the world we think about suicide and we become addicts and some of us become addicted to drugs and other horrible horrible things because of what was done to us and yet when we finally speak up we are condemned were shut down we're threatened to be expelled from the community and everybody including rebus russia shiva's rub on him side with the perpetrator because how can such an innocent person do it and then were murdered a second time by all the people who come to his defense stop ignoring this stop giving them stretched out arms my father was so uneducated about this and this is my second point be educated about what is going on in the real world be there for your children watch signs educate them train them about these things don't hide your hand in sand and think that in powerful beautiful places in Brooklyn in Crown Heights Borough Park Williamsburg Korea Syria Lakewood Muncie and all other beautiful communities five towns these things don't happen they happen constantly every day and some of us can't walk into a shoal or a mikvah or keep Shabbos because of the things that happened over there because we associated with abuse and finally my third messages I want you to know that every time you speak about us in our condition you give us life thank you for reading about my pain and struggles and everything you do to be attentive to people like me who are in recovery but struggle every day to remain in recovery this is a letter I think it speaks for itself I do have to tell you that I have received hundreds i don't exaggerate hundreds of letters like this i continue to receive them from all different types of communities from young men and from young women similar stories dissimilar stories from America from Europe for marriages all and I think it speaks for itself there's not not much more for me to add just to say that people who haven't been through this don't understand how people's souls are murdered and snuffed out because of it and when we when we are silent and when we allow it to happen by turning our eyes away from it by making believe we're a little death and by thinking everyone is exaggerating and making up the stories as though it's so much fun to be married to be a rush coil and to be an addict and to be in a terrible terrible situation what we're doing is we are allowing immoral horrible behavior to continue there has to be a paradigm shift in our consciousness I believe Loy Samoyed Aldama ryuko our trader our davon Inge art sit kiss and our homeless are worthless if we don't stand up to what is critical and first and foremost don't stand by the blood of a child being spilled in your presence for decades the end points and permits after because if somebody opens their mouth they're threatened with shidduchim and they're threatened with stigmas and the family is gonna be ruined that the community will ban them and excommunicate them and therefore people sitting here in this room who don't have a normal night of sleep of serenity because of the dread and terror in their bones because of what happened to them when they were 9 and when they were 10 nine eleven by prominent people and they feel that they can't speak and there's nobody to support them my dear friends we have to transform this we have to change the and I tell you and I tell all of you that you are a source of inspiration to me and to so many of us and times have changed I and I know people like myself are deeply deeply remorseful for the years of silence simply out of ignorance by many of us by others I guess for different reasons and what we could say is times have changed no more will you be rejected and no more will you not be believed you will be embraced you will be cherished you will be supported and remember that nobody in the world can obliterate your flame no abuser in the world can extinguish your light no action in the world by any monster can destroy the hey lick la cama mal Mama's at the core of your identity just like Hashem is indestructible your soul is indestructible and there's a place in you that is powerful wholesome confident happy and full of infinite possibilities and I beg you don't give up on yourself it's painful there are nightmares there's a lot of tears to cry and a lot of memories to bring up and a lot of work to do but never ever doubt that your wholeness and your divine core remains complete and wholesome and I know that people like you will ultimately be a source of tremendous light and healing and hope not only for a few people but perhaps for hundreds and thousands of people I am very very stressed good morning I'm also stressed what am I supposed to do feel making good Morgan good Morgan welcome to America I am very very stressed trying to make a living I wake up early in the morning I have a big family and I can't make ends meet the work is not what kills me the anxiety kills me the stress I never have a moment of serenity I could never sit on my couch and just enjoy my children I could never dive in and learn with minutiae with tranquility I'm always overwhelmed by anxiety any advice for me there's one more problem I have brothers in law they are successful in business they had a business together and they got into a fight a big fight and now my two brothers-in-law don't talk to each other so their wives don't talk to each other so my whole family took sides one of them decided that my father-in-law took sides with one so he cut out my father-in-law and my mother-in-law from his life so now half of the family doesn't speak to each other and there's a tremendous war we don't go to each other symphysis it's horrible it used to be a beautiful family and now the family split up over this money that I don't even have for me says it's a McCoy Khosla Schmo at least they're fighting about money I don't even have anything it's just mamas could you give me any advice I'm gonna tell you two things I mean there's a lot to say about this you have a future him about this but I'm going to say two things to you number one of art from the Ostroff forever and number two of art from the mayor of Primus lon is husam you're gonna lay no the Rebbe overstuffed sir was rebel feel mayor of a structure city in Poland he passed away probably tougher ish past 1928 the mayor in a car coming and a Jew once came to the Ostroff Serie B who by the way fasted for forty years he said to somebody if you would see what I see you would also fast some say he felt the holocaust coming like Reposado akin the gomorian get to know fasted forty years before her bias training their stuff should ever fasted for forty years at ninety eight a little cereal little oatmeal kasha he had a little crush at night some say he fasted even Shabbos hour drew ones came to him and he said why do you keep you store open on Shabbos so he tells the Jew tells him you're also mahalo Shabbos they say that you fast on Shabbos he says yeah but for my fellow Shabbos nobody learns from me from your Hillis compass people are gonna copy you so it's a little bit and he was a genius of a person somebody once came to him and Poland Jews were poor and he came to him about this anxiety and stress that he has with paranoia so the softs Arriba gave him the following illustration and he said today you could see videos they have tremendous documentaries of what happens in in under the waters under this in the season in the oceans lakes and streams and canals beaches then it was also well known but not like it is today it was really well documented he said if you go under the water you scuba dive and you watch the whole mahalo of how fish behave so some men many fish are predators they live off eating other fish and this fierce competition on the water when you look at the water sakoku Isaiah Minooka dick looks very relaxed and serene it is when you go underwater and you see what's happening to certain locations where there's a lot of heavy heavy fighting and disputes and DNA Toyota and McCoy Carson and competitions and fish are more brilliant than many of us imagine them what they have system the systems that they have genetically encoded in their programs are incredible incredible to learn about the world of wool animals on dry land and fish as well and fibia screechers as well so the Ostroff syllabus said you'll see a very fascinating phenomenon you'll see a large fish a predator is chasing it's going in a particular direction what is it doing it's chasing the smaller weaker fish to get its food in the cycle of life and you see the direction that it's chasing the small fish in order to eat it and then when they catch this fish they take it out they expect to see that the large fish caught the small fish they have a small if it has a small fish in its mouth and the tail of the small fish is inside the mouth of the larger fish and its head is on the outside but they always find out they always find the opposite the face of the fish that was eaten is inside the mouth of the fish and its tail is on the outside what is going on so the soft syllabus says the answer is this is how nature works the predator is chasing to catch the small fish as he's swimming to catch this movers there's another fish coming in his direction and it goes right into his mouth he goes right into his mouth from the other direction and that's why you see this constantly it doesn't always happen but it happens very often says why did he burn her she loved them created this way just because he wants to teach you how to live this fish thinks that it's food is coming from the fish is going to catch no the fish is going to catch come straight into its mouth so then why can't it just stay in one place and let the fish come in doesn't work that way this fish has to do what it has to do it needs to pursue its goals what we call make it status do its thing in order to get its food is that going to be its food maybe an orphan no nothing to do as it's doing its thing the fish comes in from the other way says that's how your perspective in life should be Leah kesef Valley Azov any businessmen knows this this fish is running and running and running that's not necessarily the source of its fruit the source of its food could be a completely different source of its food you do what you have to do and anxiety and stress and worry will contribute nothing to it what has to come into your mouth will come into your mouth by the one who is responsible for you and for all of creation as on as coal oil and coal a bit too boy do it without anxiety and that itself will give you much more serenity to do what you have to do in the way you have to do it if you can internalize this on a morning to morning basis you're approached in the office and in your appointments will be completely different don't chase people as though they're going to give you your life and don't think of this guy didn't return your call you lost your partner sir do what you have to do make the calls meet the people but this person is not going to be the one who's going to decide if you have per no sir or you don't have per no sir and therefore don't go into a crisis or two in a depression or two in major anxiety if you don't get the right response and he rejected you and he took somebody else and he wasn't available and you missed him and you missed him again and then he takes off for the snow for three weeks and then he takes about other things because coming of snow and then his pay sucks and then it's July 4th and then his elbow and then there's some frustrated and it's Chanukah and he's gonna get back to you after schmitter and then you say on honey boy he was varney f talkbox don't do money after but do money after the book one box do one day after the book you do you do the fish that comes to you has nothing to do with the people you're chasing sometimes yeah very often not even if it's yet not them that God wants to give you the / no sir this way when you have this equilibrium at mind when you have this perspective in mind everything is different a Jew once came to the mayor premise Lana and he said that he has a store and a competitor opened up somewhere else and he's gonna destroy his entire livelihood the same story that happened with your brothers-in-law who had a store and they split up and somebody opened up another store a similar store and he doesn't poke him anymore he's in a fight with him so that mayor premise Lana told him when a horse I don't know if you haven't noticed but those of you who owned horses we have a few of them here in Muncie I don't know if he's here now but he may even be here now when you take your horse to drink so the horse comes to the truffle filled with water well let's say to their to the river of water and the horse bends down to drink and ever saw the horse starts kicking though ha the horse heip them breakin the horse starts kicking kicking harder and harder thus and kicking that made from her son that said do you know why he said no I never owned a horse so I'll tell you why when the horse looks down into the water they take a drink what does the horse see what does the horse see the horse sees another horse and the water you see a reflection the horse never learned about mirrors and reflections and Khmer I'm upon him upon him cane levar them a law they never learned the posture Qamishli so the horse suddenly sees another horse in my spot I came to drink water you had to come in my spot so what does the horse do the horse starts kicking the second horse to get away of course the more the horse kicks the more the horse kicks the more murky and dirty the water gets until it gets so blackened with the sand there's no reflection of the horse anymore so he's happy and then he starts drinking and he's drinking more than rocks and and instead of good fresh water but he had to get rid of the horse and if he stops kicking at a short at some point because he wants to cleaner water he can't do it with tranquility because there's another horse right there in the same spot Ramaiya pretty much Lana said the horse mocked apart two awesome the horse is making a few mistakes mistake number one is deep stuff the one who you see as your enemy is really only yourself the one who you see as your enemy and life is only yourself I'm going to explain we don't hate other people there's no such a thing we're not jealous of other people we're not angry at other people it's the thoughts that we have about other people that make us jealous and angry and frustrated you don't do anything to me it's my thoughts about you that do everything to me and my thoughts about you have to do with my thoughts about me so the horse says that maydel says the horse sees who it sees itself it's enemy is itself mistake number two the horse makes the more he tries to kick away the other horse all he does is he makes his own water dirty murky filthy schmutz ik whose water is he destroying his own water the third mistake the horse makes is fr state nurse duster dog you know pasa Foreman he doesn't understand there's a big river there's enough water for everybody what should I tell you I have seen this again and again families get into fights over money they stop speaking to each other and grandchildren don't talk to each other it's one of the most foolish decisions people can make somebody once said ah he designer I'm carving oven if there I'm talking an oven but Narga hot abyssal Asael Jews are a very intelligent people that Toyota says if this intelligent people would only have a little circle I look at brothers brothers-in-law makutano siblings cousins people in our communities brilliant people brilliant in business I'll have the learning in stock also brilliant they give the world they support poisonous neurons in the whole family there's an argument as a debate they looked at a fight over money even a lot of money they lose their mind they lose their shakeela das they lose their serenity they lose their Asylum they lose faith in God they lose faith in themselves they lose faith in their souls their insecurities take over on illusionary horse takes over and the rest of their life they're kicking and all they accomplishes that their water becomes dirty families don't talk people get sick people get depressed sisters don't have relationships anymore cousins don't have relationships and you look back one day before 120 years and you say you gave up family you gave a priceless relationships for a couple of bucks even if it was a couple of books and even if the guy was a thousand percent wrong of course and you are a thousand percent right I want to tell you something I want to tell you something I know a person she was married to somebody his father owed him 90 milli 90 million dollars yeah all your father's should are you 90 million dollars and they should have it too they said 180 s they can give you 90 he owed him 90 million dollars this person unfortunately passed away prematurely he was in court with his father the father didn't want to give him the 90 ml house he scored he passed away prematurely years later I met this woman she was telling me the story and I said did you continue the court case she said no I dropped it and she doesn't have money she really doesn't have money I said why'd you drop it 90 million dollars she said I had little kids to raise I know I have to make a choice are they I'm gonna be in court for the next 20 years maybe I'll make 90 million maybe I'll make 70 million maybe I'll make 20 million maybe I'll make a settlement for 30 million after 10 years in court but I knew he's gonna find who my father I knew he's gonna fight till the bitter end he's gonna hire every successful lawyer in the world had to make a choice between 90 million dollars or having a life the day after Shiva she dropped it she dropped it so I once came for a Simchat her house I walked in very very unwell thie family physically and I told her look at the spiritual wealth you created normal house a Happy House a serene house seven beautiful children on of Iran ambience of a verse at area a verse a Shem a verses strong family unity camaraderie you could have had ninety million dollars and have nothing some people have everything and they have nothing some people have nothing and have everything it's a choice that you have to make your brothers-in-law have to make don't think small don't be petty we spoke pour them come rubbish after lit up Seder let your largeness slaughter your smallness let your bigness your Abba slaughter your pettiness think big don't think small think long term signage came farad don't be a horse that spends his life kicking the water the water that's dirty well do one more letter it's an interesting letter very innocent letter of a man I worked really hard on you Shiva learning and dava Ning and literally kept pushing through barrier after barrier day and night until I burnt out I come from a more modern background a full day of learning was hard for me I persevered and I was successful eventually I made it to the Miria Shiva and I was considered an exceptional Bakker after that I came home currently I'm a full-time Rebbe I'm 26 years old I teach teenagers I also do Curie / hi Kim I also do cure of craving I also study psychology half a day I have a Torah home an amazing wife and son and yet I feel my relationship with Hashem is awful I'm never good enough no matter whatever I do I always feel like I should be doing more I'm a failure I'll tell you why my Rabb aiming is Shiva always spoke about the need of learning Torah full-time I used to learn early morning before chakras for two and a half hours but I started to get headaches so I had to stop it was too much for me I'm doing my best but I don't feel I could learn Torah all day I need to support my family so I'm becoming a therapist I learned a half-a-day psychology I also teach Gemara half a day but I really don't understand what a sham wants for me why can't I be the perfect Jew why can't I be learning Torah all day my Yiddish guide is now a burden it doesn't enrich my life it seems that not everybody is supposed to be in full-time learning the Toyota speaks about you soccer and zulan the Gemara and brock islamic love seems to suggest that most people should pursue a career rather than learn all day rush b could learn all day but higher by asuka rush b filet also be other than harbor a secretor bhishm of also very small said handing them their country should have a career I left felt learning I left learning because I couldn't support me and I felt it was too intense for me I'm an education but I'm still pursuing Aparna and I'm becoming a therapist can I achieve the same closeness Tasha that somebody who learns full-time can I was taught that I can't I was taught that the real Symphony - skite in this world is only if you learn tara all day because that's what a real Jew does i heard in yeshiva many times that Voland shares the same alum hobby like you soccer but i l'm hasa his soccer has much better than swollen as Bullen doesn't have an eye Mozza he's never compared no sir he suck as an alum Haase is there ahead to leave full time learning due to it being too much whether financial situation or financial situation is it true that someone unable to be in full-time learning has lost the source I was made to feel or somebody told me perhaps that because of sins that I have done I'm not so fit to be a learning full-day or I just don't have the source and they say ah to - Maya so I ask a question I am so angry Hashem made me who I am he gave me my strengths he gave me my limitations this seems like an unjust Judaism how is it fear that I should miss out the best relationship with Hashem when I'm just trying my best how is it fear that Hashem considers my English kite second best and I am a neighbor case I want to tell you and conclude I met a friend who sits and learns all day and when I told him that I'm pursuing a job in psychology he just gave me a look like wow what a loser I really feel like a loser and a failure and I need the direction Wow I get many letters like this you should know and I'm going to respond briefly and I think the best way to respond is with the story always the best way to respond is with a story I'll tell you a story and I think it's going to clarify it since we're talking today a lot about bokram and achievers and being successful or unsuccessful there was a particularly Shiva in New York I happened to know the yeshiva well and there was a boy starting in that yeshiva and he didn't have the intellectual capacity to understand the learning fast yet I have Russa and the CAV Russa would accomplish in an hour what took him a week if he was honest with himself and it made him terribly frustrated because he realized he's not going to get very far so he went to one of the teachers in the yeshiva and he asked LeMond Agora the way he put his question was we learn and we hope that we're going to become great Giants I'm never going to become one because I simply can't grasp the material fast I sit in it I'm it's very slow process for me it's a very slow process one so this teacher told me that every god--all needs talmidim kadoya Lumina Tannen if you're a teacher without students you're not a teacher if you're big and nobody is small how could you be big so every God will need students so by me being a student I allow the Golem to Big Island because I'm their students so they could be big because I'm their students so I'm also part of being a goggle by letting the God will be a goggle so I shouldn't worry I went back to my seat and I was even more annoyed at this ridiculous answer I don't want to be the one allowing the gobble to be a gobble McLoughlin I want to be the global myself so I went to another staff member in the yeshiva and he told me every God will need supporters they maintain my faint IRA you need money you can't be a goggle without money who's gonna support the achieve of the family the Carlo I'm gonna be one of the supporters and that's how the goggle could be a goggle here again I didn't like it I don't want to support I don't want to be the money for the garden I want the God oh I don't want them to say at the dinner he helps the goggle I want to be the goggle I want to be the guy who walks in y'all man Malian ma'am L dice if I don't want to be the one that gives the money for the God at ina so he went in the maggia he went to the mosque here and the Maria says to go Tina in the previous Gill go you did are various you probably send in a previous reincarnation and now you're being cleansed by not being a goggle but don't worry next lifetime you'll be able to be a goggle it's just this lifetime it won't last too long Nathan in a summer will come down again you'll be good this boy was a bright kid but not in a every person has their own abilities he was I can't tell you how turned off he was he was not just turned off he felt vile he felt this is repulsive felt smoked some Alchemist meais he just felt this is there's something very off and if this is Judaism he's out and he decided to leave us even told us Caruso I am NOT part of such a system anymore this faith is so primitive it's so strange it's so cultish it's so disrespectful and it doesn't make sense to me that this is what God wants there's something off I cannot be part of this religion I'm out something very interesting happened there was a Thursday night midnight sheer that used to take place not far from this yeshiva it was a sheer that was given by somebody who I learned by for many years Rubio elk on those angers hunt and it was a Sheeran Tanya so the CAV Russa said he goes to it and he thinks he should go to the let him ask to be oil the question he has three people maybe maybe you'll have another answer so he went and after this year he asked him the question so the BL can says so good to Schuyler woman Igor I want to be a Muslim I want to be perfect I want to reach slimmest I want to reach godless I want to be a goggle and I can't my intellectual skills don't allow me to good question and the be--i'll says to him publish content he was very good at saying that he doesn't have an answer that was usually his answer good answer such a question you have to ask it abuse is such a question is forever it's a big question says one of you asked the Lubavitch it out of the question so he says we commit to the Labov agenda have no sight system well not from a Hasidic family at all nothing to do not only now come back but cloud the hope he says their ever answers everybody no exception no difference age where you come from write him a letter it's hard to go and write him a letter tell him everything and he'll probably answer you let's see what he says so the boy sits down and he writes a long letter to the lubavitcher rebbe and he shares the whole story his struggles and learning his Caruso learns an AMA Dablam or in an hour him it takes a number tomorrow a week one teacher tells him that every God only Tomlin the other teacher tells him every God who needs money supporters third one tells them it's a gilgul with our Vedas that's why I can be a God he said I want to be a Muslim and I want to be a goggle and I can't and therefore I decided I'm not learning anymore so the Lubavitcher ever wrote back to this boy a letter teenagers Shiva boxer no 17 18 19 one of those years he writes him back the following letter I can't tell it to you verbatim I heard this story from the burial I think 25 or 30 years ago when I was in yeshiva 24 25 26 years ago probably I had a classmate who was having a birthday say made an illegal birthday party in the dormitory and ryokan doesn't know the difference of legal and illegal in yeshiva so he invited him and he came and if a brain with us and he told us the story no no there were no cigarettes no nose there was potato chips and coca-cola that was that Vader Hines is phenomenal today if you see welcome with potato chips and coca-cola it's like wow deulim can't ask for more you can't ask for more olala by alibi so he told us the story then almost three decades ago so I'm telling you from memory so I can't tell you verbatim but the the theme I remember very clearly the Lubavitcher ever wrote to this boy a few points in his aunt's I want you to listen to the answer but also listen to the structure of how he built the answer that ever writes them point number one the Mishna says at the end of mass execution Annie never a solution wishes coiny that's the last mission of kaduche there's another gear similar cache Lima and Eloy near AC L Alicia masters Connie but Linnaean a no it's not negated the difference I was created to serve coiny to serve the one who created me to serve Russia so the rabbit says you here for you see from this mission er that every person was created to serve Hashem that's point number one point number two Hashem doesn't want any two people to serve him the same way waha Raya he didn't create them the same way every person was created to serve Hashem but no two people were created the same way people have different backgrounds different genetic makeups different natures different experiences different gifts different talents different blessings different virtues different vices different struggles but they were all created that way and therefore it means he wants every person to serve him differently next point the Mishna says at the end of Fricke of his call marsha barakat is miroku Bilaam will i bro ll avoid what he created he created for Hashem and the Gomorrah says in Shabbos Colmar shibaura Kadosh Baruch holy borrowed over Akkad live at all nothing was created in vain so if you were created to serve your creator and nothing was created in vain and everything was created look every day it means that everything that exists in you was created to serve Hashem what does this mean that Hashem has given you the exact amount of coitus faculties and potentials and abilities to serve Him in the way that he wants you to serve him and as we said it's different than the way you want somebody else to serve him because that person he gave a different set of potentials and faculties and virtues and blessings and challenges and what we see here from here oh so he says to him from all these Marmara Cazalas that you were given the exact amount of faculties that you need in order to serve Him the way he wants you to serve him like Bacchus vélez you weren't given less than what you need to serve because if you were given less you won't be able to fulfill your purpose you also weren't given more because like bar record-low vittala and it's all the sandwiches Connie and the lady so you were given the exact amount of power potentials choices faculties experiences circumstances exactly the way he wants you to serve him throughout your entire life exactly nothing less nothing missing and nothing more and he comes to this punch line and when you take all your Cutlass and you serve him the way he wants you to serve him now here the play on words a look how solemn the a look oh god I'll Lamai Lamesa you can't be more perfect and you can't be more god--all you can't be more great than this you can't reach a higher perfection and you can't reach a higher godless through the answer what does this mean my dear friends what does this mean we often create a model what Judaism looks like this is how you serve God we create a certain model a mold we put you into the mold this is how you serve God what if you don't fulfill into it either we stretch you you know like ants annoy him in the bed right if you didn't fit the bed either we stretch you or we cut you up if you're too big we got to get you into the mold we put you into the mold this is does haste I eat that's a stab entire this is a success story what if you don't fit in so either you're a failure like you're right or you're an epic case or you're a real loser oh you fit in what if you don't fit in you cut yourself into pieces what if it hurts okay figure it out call medication I don't know what if you too big mutilate yourself what if you too small stretch yourself but the main thing is is a mold that's not the other sky there's a name for that lice are silica pestle don't make molds don't make statues don't make images that's not you this great leader skite is to fulfill the mission that God wants from you in this world and that's never to people the same there's also to think as a never the circumstances you have the personality you have the life story you have are perfectly suited for you to be the ambassador of God he wants you to be in this world with everything that comes in your life including the difficulties and the challenges that you need to fight and overcome and confront and subdue and transform so here's the deal I like to be visual is that battle full you mind giving it to me I just like to be visual so I'm going to ask you a question where's there more water is there more water in this Cup or is the more water in this bottle very good say a good caval dick the Shiva is worth it just for you he's right this bottle has more water than this and if I would ever a gallon I don't have Aragon but I have her a gallon it would be filter layer of course it would have much much more water than this cup but even this bottle is enough this bottle has more water than this Cup ms but this cop is full and fulfilled this battle may have more water but it's not full and it's not fulfilled and that's true in life the question in life is not how much water you have the question in life is is your cup full and fulfilled copper's and cup and Cup as and cup that's the question so what there ever was telling this boy is you're making yourself miserable for no reason vanna dig is up to us today mr. ville how do you know what I said once maybe your arm is Gemara that you learn every day for an hour and you hasn't it and at the end of the week you finish one arm and Gomorrah maybe that is the purpose of your soul in this world and this is how you serve Him I the water fits your cup but your cup is fulfilled it's maximizing its lift as its mission it's doing its job in the world somebody else may have better capabilities bigger potentials they have a whole different regimen all different calculation the master hokhmah there are Sameach right why did my chef to break the lucas the jews don't deserve the lucas give it back to him what would you do with a lucas I would hide it in a safe you would sell it on eBay fine I wasn't thinking about that why break the lucas so then you know the master hokhmah says when moisture saw the egg Lee understood that they still misunderstood Yiddish guy for them things were holy Mauritius said nothing is holy in Judaism God is holy serving God is only Hashem ones the Lucas the lookers are only he doesn't want that it's not only there's nothing holy about anything we don't worship anything we don't worship things we don't worship people we don't worship objects we don't worship behaviors we don't worship molds we don't worship models we worship God who has no mold no model no image where he is some call passive a homeowner if he wants me to do this it becomes only eating krauser is traif and on Holi if hipper a Jew is starving to death and half to give him Hazar to save his life it becomes a mitzvah for another person it's a cinema comes a mitzvah it becomes holy because that's what I Shem wants we create a certain rigid model what it looks like you don't fit into it you feel like a failure success godless in life means doing will a sham once from you a Mulholland you can't get more perfection there's no this is perfect this is imperfect perfect means you're being true to your divine mission in life whatever that mission is it could be your accomplishing what your cup can accomplish somebody else accomplishes something else and each one has its unique challenges and its unique Milas and this is true the person asks about learning all day to sit and learn Toyota all day ain't let's go vowel the king of all Dacascos and somebody who has the merit to do it Tama Turner canonical him it's extraordinary but here's a metaphor a Jew is sitting in Capri ritual with the Tallis over his head with the Kittel he daven's nearly screams Hashem who well him seven times and he feels surged wakest with Hashem he says I'm not leaving sure Cohen God was in the car - a car - I'm in the Holy of Holies crying Aldo says I'm not going home I should go home to my wife look two wives I'm Kippy at the my skin and Lisa Harris I'm not going home he encouraged circulation my messiah i gon have to take out the garbage what is in the Kohen Gadol did my saw him Kip hey yank oh come on take over the garden man let's go babies crying the gardener in Kurdish recognized Rumi solemn alchemist I'm not leaving credit Chakradhar Jeff he stays in crazy shock exhaustion in Kippur Jim keeping credit record ocean visit with greatest mitzvah but sorry I'm kipper it's a Nevada and if the crying others and credit Chakradhar sham and he is that there's a baby who fell and God was also not solar usually and he the base of the baby needs medical help and the crying of those that I'm staying and kindness a Kenosha it's the biggest sin it's the biggest availa I there's no great advance and holiness and rotational inertia but the question is not with is more holiness the question is where a sham wants you to be there are people are some ones than to sit and learn your Imam Delilah and palmitate if connected coulomb it's extraordinary if you could stay a whole year yom kippur cavaldi but another drew says I'm not going home after Yom Kippur he's about you have to go home after Yom Kippur you have to go into the real world are there challenges of course but every person has their SH licious with their unique the Gemara sesamoid cotton the Mitzvah that can be the tough tests might cotton tough tests a mitzvah that can be done to so through somebody else it overrides FAL Matata the same casa a mitzvah that can be done through somebody else overrides thamma trader somebody needs to support his family he has a few fascias young intelligent mitts possess a classroom to call yourself a neighbor case guys on the call yourself a failure a disappointment to Judaism you have to become a hit imitator whenever you have a chance to come back and to conditional Kadosh l'm going to credit record awesome every morning every night you should do enter Nevada but to say that the rest of your life is miserable and a failure and a waste of time kalila Vikas Masada the man who says nice avocados burro Julio's lady rabbit acronym Hashem ones you should reveal godliness in the whole physical rule that's what you're doing and every person has his licious or her mission how they serve are somehow they bring godliness into the world this one does it this way this one eleven is no there's no competition I'm better than you you're better than me your superior there's no superior and inferior that comes from my warped idea of Judaism the moment you start feeling superior to other people it has nothing to do with God that has to do insecurity pompous nasarah Genson narcissism true Jews look at another person and they see the soul in every person and the way you look at is if I'm doing what I'm supposed to do in life you can't be a greater Gothel even if you would be able to be that person you will not be a gobble because your making it you're popping somebody else you're not being true to your own life so therefore I tell you my dear friend who wrote this letter I tell you accept yourself in your life with serenity with joy with peace of mind you're a great soul you're a beautiful jewel you are who you're supposed to be you don't have to mutilate yourself you don't think of yourself headaches you know if to crush yourself God loves you for who you are he wants to see you happy successful wholesome physically emotionally spiritually we serve Hashem with our true selves with all parts of it we show up to set with our sin with all of our parts no need to hide anything to run from anything embrace your identity with honesty all your ups and downs bring you to avoid SRM because that is your Lilith's that is your mission don't look at anybody else's cup you could learn from other people's cups but don't look and try to mimic other people's cups you look at yours I'll conclude with this Vaart I once shared in a few Sheerin what's the Hebrew term anybody knows what's the Hebrew term the tanake in term the tyrant and I forget hanim for purgatory yeah sure oil pastas oil the abyss Taft is below the word soil comes from the same word the same root like shawl or soil which means borrowed you know what the definition of shale practices you know definition of Ganim is you live a borrowed life you feel like you have to borrow somebody else's life because your life is never good enough and the reason is tactus you feel like you're on the bottom the first opportunity to get out of shock disease when you realize your life is not borrowed your life is infinite your life is divine embrace it with simcha embrace it with a ver embrace it with Manuka and remember that every moment of your existence you have the opportunity to connect it with infinity thank you have a wonderful week Nevada national cafeteria the rambutan meters are common colored avec muhammad qasim i love a cost of killing it but machine well I think that children know everything on their own I think we have to tell them much I think it's much worse to lie to them about them enough Knutson say kilometer fled the Madera ferrets but the definition of our God o business to manage was to toss a will I am miss Atomik ottoman doctor shot I yield was an insecure gender in life is rotzinger shun the moments of the under agendas is forked dr. Kumari m16 is loiza how nastily some among us we're not going like that but we don't have to be in denial that's it so the whole office is another our own business glass official tomorrow must meet members dick realistic maintenance naive remembers dick main sincere to members dick means not cynical remembers dick is sincere I don't look at Allah list naiveness none idiotic Ms Alamo dilemmas said the cha doctor how long after best in the office of the commodities edit selected the physician who because the Mishima Sasha Malika Mott salsa kiss Edition debacle above cover home option is that if he come to the DA was routine neighbors took off was headman and the dog was a snitch gain Susana flagons I have affected by me there must be and the real famous which everywhere you go listen it's a complete sit - shylu yes me yeah so there's never done a Scotsman it's not mention was based English best soon starting no Christian is boy James and I even with a wanker borders of connection is my son mentioned was - and was a target on me today it's attractiveness dimension was restricted MIDI organs fine dimensional base energy enough connection is uber uber the e key for you describes an MS Epis is nisht MS it's not gonna work it's me miss Mayton attacker it's me miss mayn't a little kind mr. checker remembers doesn't mean I'm in denial he's short than I say he's tall he's fat and I say he's skinny we can't um Kanani sheiter it's me miss maintenance and an idiot so now it's members say so same as I as long as they could stay that way they're happy everybody's happy but I mention a man Comtesse that was stood that vacant sign experience puzzle comes organ that he's the only one who's wrong and everybody is right the members that people are blind and sometimes people are in denial and people don't know and people have agendas imagine nominate so hardest aggress than the best Albany hates our hardest and I'm all vans in extra the commodity octaves and had to the models of the center the coin God alone the mela a burnished guitar design in the VAD versus Michael tipps designer EBR the mela kvass well every lie a buyer cuz he pays his soldiers by the year the rights of autonomy saves money a coin god no he wants him kipper to be early or why the mikveh sim keepers on Zion Haste's because it's still summer so I call young god William kipper draft we're gonna haisa McClure again I mean crazy chakra - my traffic in a semi-tractor abysses of the Gomorrah but mainly you can trust and favorite Shana when I've left the Congo and under the AH for stage design subconscious but it shows what if somebody sees somebody sees I want a hot Mick I don't want to called Myka how many degrees you think is the difference two degrees huh Chester Chester some hydrogen year is Mazetti covered in a cougar as a clinical yeah he's a friend's an aggressive dose about Emmett Epis with Schottenheimer spoke her mind ate the monkey Hill mine gelt mind us pinnacle of past Conan anishka de boy the river state are sheltered Yahveh when in the morning services are Gansa blurred vacant annoy him and I'm Iranian or something exact has it been apostle for the entire day post lien on the dinner for us or does make a whole phone as I go hopefully tomorrow when I'm here I know so you see they didn't say what's a stomach awesome I could make it can I can I could be subconsciously cousin I knew for sure they did are fixing up to no good for them okay does that mean the leadership I ever mentioned they understood this when I'm an Abba Mazetti retail attract immense as I mention how sometimes as our Rovers Nick shires as alphas action is it a dip what's annoying soccer motivation wish but a locust then our valiant camp a scan of an echidna spa scanner and nobody could be smarter than so tomorrow when this may be said the current local is a scale model so main is a mensch a bendable hayasaka may become a nice loft but I'm the socket yeah say villany villany you shut my shirt by actavis motion wish bottom with Nyasha when i'm a high by pacer shane little game flag in the main booster my yeah christmas of us open our stuff and I'm hooked a vinyl or higher badass Kyra our father wasn't part of Kyra way she says now you bribe me your father was on my team by yeah Christmas brought to the finish I'm sorry I'm out I don't have an opinion I'm not part of this motion I'm a no no fate secured like a calm Navi Kamisha palpable boy I'll be madam you sucked my father was on your team that's it there I / Viper big deal had time to give it up my team it's 40 years later coefficient freshman fried secure free fed Sakura got myself 900 secure my chakras of the speedometer hurt mystic a bendable hire a been a bath I did it a tough yet anonymous a lahar aviod named my fellow the goddess listen today here we spoke to four five six teachers each one has twenty thirty students in the class that's how you do it one one soul at a time bud Slocumb off longer yep it's like a rubber okay put him screaming gun Slobodan she already landed the left okay - Ekadasi pity you had to land mine the Manasa Mon then put him on Binaca dank teleport yeah yeah Salaam alaikum how are you you can't put him to my house but somebody mixed into the conversation with a big bang yeah but I see that he likes you I see that he likes yeah yeah when he screams it means he likes right okay very good we can talk yeah yeah no problem keep in touch the question it was nice I was funny everybody meet with it there's not a miniature it didn't match but this year energy okay yeah sure thank you thank you for the feedback Sequoia I let some I think when you say breakfast in the morning and you say all the kindness Shama Shama sought to be to her he and you say all the breakfast and everything and we called there in Davao named like Alvis oil ama half ton or Alvarado whatever the new surface to really meditate to take time and meditate and reflect in a very sincere way on the words and their meaning Hashem the neshamah that you gave it to me this pure Tejada means pure and also means lightens our target it means light Tahira was light it's full of light it's part of your light at the velocity it's art avisail omaha fatahna washable ok no you really loved us oh boy it's about me so lava and to really reflect on the fact that your soul is a piece of Russian ok literally coming mouth and loves you and nothing could tarnish it and even if we make mistakes nothing can destroy that core self I think that's a beginning I'm also to have somebody to speak to say Makarov Oh Cannella recover after be a therapist could be a sailor for evoke a never recover a good friend a good mentor may want to be a therapist on a therapist I don't think the Mitch was a therapist tough you don't have to be afraid of therapy and if it's a good therapist on the table some of them are very good some of them are not the main thing is to get a competent one first test your wife comes first [Music] so you have to avoid it maybe buy him a gift write him a letter don't don't let it become much like us maybe a letter with a gift or something don't let it spiral nip it in the bud make sure I spoke about it tonight cosmos ominous write him a letter write him a letter buy him a gift whatever it is whatever it takes maybe first days last days whatever you'll figure it out [Music] about myself it's a goofin yeah so duffer in the drawstring away this has shown too much time till the marshal gout in this one single funny cliff by the destroyed milena da fashion in addressing the devil receptor phenomena yeah I'm with after stop missing off him that I'm under manage to go from there okay the garden fence ago firma but under certain significance at map who's giving of his senior sister caning he was Melissa shrine if it came on the result Monica's given in yharnam from Clemens ever Magdalene Amish alchemic locus Spokane some minion verse Casals organ is shown as of an exodus of Poker Stars off [Applause] nay that I'm a brat halacha you know extra senado see this num that is when I gotta avoid this a sure about the community's drama make must name in the station and a forum as I got the caramel sign out that is muscle I say we advise it our Baba Hana to disaster mother the stuff a Ganesha Sona lady Redbush calacas atoms are halakhah starvation so what's next for melody yeah anishka yeah that I'm mr. Clavin Watkins and I've Gahanna open Oceania I'm Alex [Music] seven sites manner for them Saddam Mishnah a skimmer melaka mundial de to Salem can declare the marble beloved Oh Agatha cipher dr. Hamada and Sanhedrin those should show me some room - la la la mama what's up shot the mr. zarkan a she's mother Sofia episodic a cone-shaped Empress addict at the deer case nursery - rumors I'm a cooked of the hail Caligula from the neshamah Salem curriculum Abba I'm a cooktop duration the cooktop de plume is on a Sharma gesture on calico Omaha this class is brought to you by the yeshiva dotnet please help us continue the classes make even a small contribution at triple w dot they ueshiba net / donate