Zev Freundlich - Father's Seder Workshop Connecting to your children in their own way

Okay, welcome everybody. Zev Fro um from my Okay, so just the biggest asset here is that this is a three-hour workshop that I give companies. I'm cutting down to 90 minutes. Okay, so it's cut in half. And the reason why we have to do otherwise you wouldn't be here. And number two is that I'm trying to get to the main core of what you'll need to walk away with to make your seder a different um different uh sad you've ever had before. So what we're going to do now is we're just going to go through a couple of things and when we do this I want you to try to envision that this workshop is basically a business workshop. So don't get flustered. It has nothing to do with because I've never done this before for for fathers or families. I do it for businesses and it means when you take the assessment the the it's called the DISC assessment what that means you're thinking in business so it's really a business but you'll see immediately how this applies to every single relationship you have in life there's nothing nothing new that we have here okay so this name of this uh workshop is called DISC disk has been around for about 80 years every single company in the world does something a personality assessment you have heard of MyersBriggs Disc Colby. Anyway, raise your hand if you heard of MyersBriggs. Disc Colby this all this is every company does some kind of personality assessment in order for them to know who belongs in this position. And if you know that I said you're this type of personality, you are better in sales and you and that's what every company does. This is 80 years. Okay, nothing new. What happened was is that they took the disc. This is one of the MyersBriggs is like 32 different personality types. Like nobody in the world remembers or knows 32. You hardly know your own. And most of these companies if you've taken your disc or Colby or MyersBriggs what you bestie at the end of the day I say what are you? Two weeks later you probably don't remember what you are because the purpose of it is one thing. I need to know whether I want to hire you or fire you. Nobody cares about somebody else. It's not practical you with your interpersonal relationships. It's only for business. I want to know should I hire you for this position yes or no that's why they take these things disk is four four personality types and basically they say okay it's much easier for people to realize and remember four than is 32 and that's what it is the way it works is as follows each one of these types are they call it a personality type it's false there's no one in the world can assess your personality not AI and not except no one can assess your personality a personality is way too complex. This the way I call it is a communication style. Okay, the differences is one is the depth of your brain and the whole thing and one is just how do you communicate which means we're going to see this these things can change. So although I went online and I took for $40 I took my DISC assessment myself this may change in 10 years from now you you'll see why because it's not a personality. personalities don't change whether you're in the Holocaust, whether you live in exist or you live in the Bahamas. Your personality doesn't change. Your communication style may change if you're in the Holocaust because I got to become something that I'm not used to or if I'm in the Bahamas or I'm just chilled out or I'm stressed. Your life will will determine your communication style in order for things to to work right. And therefore, even when you take these dis assessments, they say there's two types of use in communication. One at work or public self and private self. And that's the difference is that it's not the same. That's good. It's a good thing. At home, you may be one way and at work, you're a different way for many reasons. So, just realize when we talk about personality assessments, it's false. It's communication styles. That's really what it's about. Okay. So right now okay the name of this is actually taking flight with disc was around for 80 years about 15 years ago some Merrick Rosenberg decided he's going to give the disc d i s c into different birds you'll see why it made it much more people friendly to remember what birds people are versus letters okay letters and colors let me show you what we're talking okay so now there are four styles okay the four styles will be will be representative as a bird. I want you to help me out here. When you see an eagle, what does an eagle represent to you? What personality does an eagle have? >> Sharp. >> Confident. >> Bold. >> Bold. Excellent. Okay. Resultoriented, bottom line, direct, decisive. In the disc world, it was called dominant. Red or D. That was 20 years ago. We dominant. Okay. D. disc. Okay. Next. The parrot represents what? >> Clown. >> Talkative. >> Talkative. Parrot jungle in Florida. Colorful, outgoing, social. An eagle. You don't see a flock of eagles. There's one eagle. Parrots. Parrot jungle, right? So, a parrot is optimistic, enthusiastic, motivational, social. The eye of disc is interactive. It's interactive. Okay. So far so good. Let's continue. The dove. What does the word dove represent? >> Innocence. >> Soft. >> Soft. It's important to think. What does a dove represent? Peace. Right. The dove symbolizes peace. Soft. Quiet. Harmonious. Helpful listener. Consistent. I want to rock the boat, right? Doves don't rock the boat. Parrots like to rock the boat. Eagles like to rock the What about the owl? What does that represent? An owl talk. What's an owl? >> Sharp. Wise potato chips. Wise. >> Sneaky. >> Oh, he's looking at you. Sharp eyes. Sneaky. Detail oriented. Logical. Systematic questioning. always questioning the wise owl, right? And these are the four types. Okay, this was D I S C but we changed it from the actual um letters to birds because birds we relate to much more than letters. Okay, good. So here we go. So now there each one of you has a primary bird. Now again this is not your personality. This is your communication style. So each one of you has a bird that's your primary bird. Some of you have um two birds, a primary and a secondary. Sometimes they're equal. No, rarely do people have one bird in them. Almost even more rarely is someone who has all four birds in them. Although great world leaders have all four words in them. Many great world I mean really great world leaders. But rarely do you have one and rarely do you have four. We have usually two. Everyone will have two. I have two. And um some will have three, some will be two uh dominance to secondary make one dominant. It's a very So therefore when we talk about the four different styles, don't be, you know, I I want you to think think blackheaded. When I say eagle, think about an eagle. Don't think an eagle parrot or an eagle dove. Just think about the bird itself. So now if I were to now what what I usually do with companies is everyone before the workshop three-hour workshop has to take an assessment online and they take it online and then it they come back and they read it and like is this a Nvy? How do they know this about me is very accurate. I mean I've done over a thousand business leaders with this and they're like this is you know I think 99.9% I think 10 people out of a thousand people said it's not accurate. Otherwise, it's scary how accurate this is. Um, but the reason why I I do it then is because when you have your hardcore copy in front of you, you sort of like, okay, given sometimes when I ask you what you think you are, you're a little biased because everybody here, especially by yidden, come on, we want to be an eagle. Come on, we want to be a dove. So, even if you are a dove, you sort of pretend that you're not. And it's it's very not smart in this case to do that because what you're doing is is because you have labeled some bird here as the good bird and the bad bird. And it's very important to know that there is no such thing as a good or bad communication style. There is bad in the eagle and there is bad in the parad there but there's let me just go back but there is no bad or good. In fact there's no male or female. Let me give you example. How would you know what you are? So there's two ways to understand what you are. Are you a taskoriented person or a people oriented person? Think so. Are you a task? So let's look at the birds. Which birds here would be get the job done type bird versus care about people? Which birds would be get the job done? Which birds? >> Eagle. >> An owl. Exactly. And which means the people care about the social setting. People >> dove and parent. Exactly. So when you look at that and you see this is the task side and this is the people side. So if you're a task oriented person like you're a really task you're eagle either an eagle an owl. You may have a touch or something else in you but right now you're a task get the job done type person. You know you're on this side at least one of your birds. If you're a people oriented person, you care about people, you care about, you know, social listener, any of those care about people more than getting the job done or do people think care in a good or bad way? I don't then you're on this side. Now again, you may share. Now, what about the do does a parrot and and and an eagle share a characteristic? And does an owl and a dove share a characteristic? So who is verbal versus nonverb? Which one is verbal? Which birds? Two birds. >> Parrot and eagle. Get the job done. Which are more quiet and reserved, non-verbal? The dove and the owl. Right? So fastpaced and verbal. Right? A parrot doesn't share the task because they're not that they're ADHD, but parrots are all over the place. They're fast-paced and verbal and they're even pac reserved. Now reserved that's negative, right? Well, maybe in our world it's negative. It's not reserved. Many people have to think things through. Reserve means they're not always shooting their mouth off. They're thinking through. They take it quiet. That's reserved. So therefore, this is the way you can ask yourself right now, which are you? So right away ask yourself, are you a task oriented person or people? Could we could we get a volunteer here? One volunteer. I can analyze you. Go. Yakamosha, what are you? You can come up. Yakamosha Talmed of mine from many many years ago. 20 years ago. Yakamosha. Are you a task oriented or people oriented person? People are interperson. Okay. So, right away we're going to know this is going to be your primary bird. You're either a parrot or a dove. Are you fastpaced verbal or even pace reserved? >> Fastpace. >> Fast verb. So, you're going to be a parrot. Now, that doesn't mean he's only a parrot. He could share parrot with a little eagle. He could share parrot with little dove. You may be parrot and dove. I know you personally and I know that Yakamoshi is a parrot dove cuz he's a sensitive person. He cares. He has a real heart and he's outgoing and friendly. So, I know it's a good thing he he came up here. I have to know you have to apparent dove. Okay, that doesn't mean that not being an ego is a problem. Now remember, okay, thank you question. Now in the world, in the entire world, what are there more of for good reason? What do you think there more of in the whole world percentage- wise? >> Dove for good reason. Most people do not want to rock the boat. They're harmonious, helpful, are consistent. Don't rock the boat. Most people in the world per capita. Although in Israel there are still more doves, there are more what in Israel? >> Eagles. >> Eagles because they have to be. In Mexico there are more >> parrots. In England, there are more Owls. >> Owls. Exactly. Now, still in all those coast, there's still more doves for good reason. Imagine a world of old eagles. >> That's scary, right? The world of all parrots. Right. Okay. We're going to get to later about how that works out in your in your social settings. But naturally, so right now, if I ask you to think to yourself, what are you? I want you to to analyze that for a second. if you're a task oriented or people oriented. And then once you get that, are you a fastpac verbal or even pace reserved? There's no good or bad. It's not male or female. What are classic nurses? Doves. You never heard of an eagle nurse. RIP THE IV RIGHT OUT OF YOU. RIGHT. Classic comedians are >> Is that true? What's the famous guy, the Jewish guy who loves Israel? Uh >> Seinfeld, is he a parrot? >> No, he's actually an owl. He always picks up the details and makes fun of them. He's not a parrot. He may be a par have some parrot in him, but don't stereotype people. What are leaders of the world? Well, Trump is a eagle. He's the only eagle you know, right? Biden is a >> like him or not. He's a dog. Realize what he is, right? Obama >> owl. That's great. It's correct. It doesn't difference. You can be a multi uh Elon Musk. >> Eagle owl, right? But not all millionaires are eagles. Who's a owner of Starbucks? Schultz. >> Right. What is he? >> He's a dove. >> He's a very soft, right? He's a multi-billionaire. It has nothing to do with. So, it's important to do this. Get out of your stereotypes because what you're doing is you're stereotyping people because you assume that that's what they are. They're not. Understand the characterist. Are they task people or task or people oriented? First question. and ask yourself after that are you fast and then you'll find a way. Now, if you're in the middle somewhere, it's okay. You could be a parrot. You could have some eagle in you. Look at the words result in the bottom line director. Again, the reason I'm doing this is because I don't have your assessments here. So, you have to do it yourself. And I've done this rarely. I do this for companies who want to save money. You know, $4 a person want to save money and I'll do without it. But it it doesn't work well. But again, that you know, in this case wasn't. So, I'm I want you to understand that that's really what is try to analyze. It's important because if you can't figure out what you are, you're not going to figure out what your kids are either. Okay? Right? Realize. Okay? So, that being said, we're gonna move on. Okay? Now, the key to understanding others is first, understand yourself. The reason why I'm this is three hours because I spend an hour and a half on this part. I'm going to cut it down to 45 minutes, but I have to go through this because you must understand yourself crystal clear. Otherwise, you won't be able to pick up what your kids are. Because the same bias you have to wanting to be something that you're not, you'll pick you you you want your kid to be a certain way and then guess what? He's stuck in your world. Well, it's not true. So, the key to understand others is to understand yourself. Okay. Whatever. Okay. This is the best line of all. Okay. A virtue carried to an extreme becomes a crime. I'm sorry honey, I'm an eagle. I just have to ignore you. So you took your virtue of being an eagle, you being a Trump, and just ignore everybody. Sorry, that's what I am. I'm just a No, that that you carry that to an extreme, it's a crime. So any one of these four communication styles, if you carry to an extreme, you're a criminal. What you're doing is you're hiding behind. That's what I am. Can't I'm a parrot. I have ADHD. Can't clean my clothes. Can't leave MY SOCKS ON THE FLOOR. SORRY. WHAT DO YOU want from me? Okay. The next line I'm going to show you is very simple. You're driving on the highway, right? 60 miles an hour speed limit. Anyone driving faster than you is a maniac. And anyone driving slower than you is an idiot, right? Anyone driving slow you is an idiot. Any faster than Isn't that true? 60 miles an hour. Maniac. Slow idiot. Why is that true? Cuz whatever you do is right. And everybody else who's different than you is an idiot or a maniac. Why do we do that? Because it makes us feel empowered. when I I'm normal and everyone else is crazy. This is very important when we talk about understanding others and ourselves to keep this in mind. What we're going to learn I did nothing is on my computer. Okay. Okay. So that's the story. Okay. Let's move on. Okay. You'll be able today to understand the four styles identify of others. Alter your approach with others. Improve communication. Apply self teams which we're not going to do. Total over. We're not gonna have time for. Okay. Okay. Whatever. Okay. This is the assessment. Like I said, these are assessments. Some people are um very high parrots and above the 50 line. That's what you are. Okay. Doesn't mean we're not do it anyway. What am I? >> What am I'm a parrot? Okay. What am I? >> What am I? >> Fast-paced verbal. >> I'm fastpaced verbal. So I'm either a parrot or an eagle, right? Am I task or the people oriented? >> Okay. Who said task? >> Okay. So it happens to be in my workplace. So I am an eagle big eagle little parrot. But that's because in my workplace I'm much more eagle than I am par. I I ran for 25 years. Much more get the job done. Okay. So I'm much more in my workplace. This is really a work oriented. I'm more workplace. In my home, I'm much more apparent than eagle. So actually it's different. So you see the difference in my work in eagle. I'm very eagle. I'm 90 eagle and very low, right? And at at home I'm a a equal parrot. So that's it. So any that helps you understand a little bit of what I am and hopefully you'll be able to figure out what you are as well. Okay. Okay. Now what we're going to do like this, what I'm going to ask you is to get uncomfortable. Okay? And I'm going to ask you to split up into four groups. I want you to think right now. Let's go back to our just make sure we get this clear. I want you to think about this and ask yourself, what bird or primary? Again, you may be a mixture. What primary bird are you? And I'm going to ask to split up who am I going to put in the front of the room? Which birds want do I want in the front? Which words do I want in the back? Who do you want in the front? >> Eagles. >> I'll hear the eagles way in the back. I want the doves in the front. Doves right here. Who else do I want in the front? >> Who else do I want in the front? The owls. Yeah, cuz the owls will be very quiet. Anyone who's eating base reserved, they got to be in the front. Parrots, you'll hear the parrots. Eagles, you'll hear them. So, right now in this corner, I want parrots. Not yet. In this corner, I want doves. In that corner, I want eagles. And in this corner, I want um >> owls. So, if if you know what you are immediately, again, if it's a suffic, which one do you lean more to out of this? Because we don't have assessments. I'm ask and and try to be honest. What are you? And then go to your nests. Okay. So, doves, parrots, >> owls, eagles. If you don't know, >> I think so. >> I'm going to go right here. >> No, no, no, no, no. You have to go to one corner and then we'll tell you what to do next. >> You got to go to one corner. >> Makes the difference work >> cuz you know at work you >> Yes, it's true. Work is much easier. Home is much harder. Yes. Yes. But I mindset >> whatever whatever I it's up to you where you want to do this. It's important to be to be involved here because this is what's going to help you understand yourself and others. So you're going to be in the dove dove. >> Dove and owl >> parrot and eagle. Which one do you feel more closer to? >> What people said? >> Yeah. Which one do you feel more closer to? The eagle or the parrot? >> I would say the parrots. >> Parrots. So then go to the parrots right there. Parrots. Okay. Your parrot. So this section. Okay. Will this section? Perfect. Sit down. Or this section. That's good. Yeah. Okay. This is the D section. This is the eagle section and this is the owl section. Everybody's got to be in some place. It's important. This is where the this is where this is this is where the exercise is going to be. >> Okay. You started like 2 minutes too early. >> No. 9:00 exactly. >> Okay. >> Tell everybody to be a place. So your eagles, your parrots, your doves. Okay. >> And this is owls. Eagles in the back. Owls right here. So it's important. By the way, with Hashiden, we always I know where everyone's going because it's not it's not politically correct to be a dove. Although most of the world I told you are doves. This can't be. It's impossible. You're a dove. >> It's impossible. >> Remember the like like someone mentioned before, there's a work setting and there's a home setting. I'm not telling which setting to be in. Ask yourself which one. I would say home rather because it's a home thing, not a business thing. So I'm just saying this can't be. There's 40 people here. It can't be that there are five doves. It can't be. But we're hidden. So we think but because the world this is always a big section in every company always but whatever it is what it is okay now that >> unless people come to the class of people >> right so >> I volunte so so now >> so now that being said now that you're in this corner I need you to think like an eagle uh like an like a like an eagle like a parrot like a dove and like an owl which means even if somewhere in the middle. You're not sure. You got to become it now because I need your parrot or or dove. I want you to think that way. Think as this as a parrot. Think with these characteristics because it's important. Now what we do now is usually I do as follows. I explain a scenario that I need you now as a team, your team together, your team together. There's eagles. Do you know why there are not many eagles in the world? Because we'd be dead. There are very few eagles. So, the fact that we have 40 people and 10 eagles and you have three out of a company with 50 people. I have three eagles, five eagles, whatever. But now that you decide you're an eagle, no, which means you pro you all are eagles. Some part of you is eagle. question section, >> right? >> Oh, yeah. >> This is the question section. >> Oh, does he didn't decide which >> Oh, no. Really? You're eagle or not? >> Okay. So, now you which means you may have eagle in you. You're certainly all not primary eagles. But it's okay. Now that you're in that section, just keep in mind that I need you to think like an eagle because I know for sure you're all not know. And I know some of you should be in the dub, but okay. But kids, I'm going to show you here. Now, here is a piece of paper and there are two markers, a black one and a red one in each corner. One right there for the parrots. We for the doves there for the owls of eagle. Okay, I need you now. Now, usually we do this in companies. So, what we do in companies, we we'll switch it up for highen. Um, we're ready to buy the new TV. I mean, the big one. It's not the Super Bowl next week, so it's not a rush, but you're ready to put your big TV. We're not We'll do something else instead of TV, but I just want them the concept. How what is the process from beginning to end? If you're the parrot, what is your process of buying the big TV? We'll switch it to cars. You're buying a new car. Okay, your your car now is not broken. It's working fine, but you're ready for a new car. nicer car, bigger car, whatever you need. No rush. What is your process for purchasing a car from beginning the first idea till actually car is in your driveway? What is the process? So, I'm going to ask you right now as a team. So, you're only four doves. I need you four to come over here and I need your whole parrot team to come over here. Go to your section, stand up and I need you to discuss the complete process from the havamine of the car to the car in driveway. What is your process? Take your markers and put it down. You have five minutes to do this. >> No, all together discuss discuss it. Dis bullet points. >> Bullet point. Well, you're an owl. That's why you're going to use bullet points. Not everyone use bullet points, but you're going to use it cuz I know you're an owl. I need to discuss what is your process. >> Black and red. >> I don't tell you what to do. You have two choices. You decide what you want. >> 30 seconds left. When you're done, let me know if Eagles are done. Doves, parrots are done. >> Okay, everybody, please finish up. And now what we're going to do is we're going to ask you to pick one representative and you're going to tell us your process from beginning to owls. Why are owls and doves the late? Why do they take the longest? >> Because you're methodical. >> Very there are dotting their eyes and crossing their tees. Doves aren't sure they need the car in the first place. Exactly. Eagles were done a long time ago. Okay. And parrots after they said all the jokes and were laughing how funny it was, then they got to do work, right? It's ADHD sometimes overlaps with parrots. Okay. Have a seat. Now what it needs is like this. Everyone head back to your seats. Now in your corner, it's fine. Now I need one representative from each category to give us. So we're going to ask Eagles to please take the mic. one representative Eagles and I take get your sheets. Get your hold up. One of you hold the sheet and one of you show us how you did this. What's your what is your Okay, ready. So, so what somebody hold it up, you hold it up and Mark, you can you can facing facing the crowd. Go ahead. What is the process of buying the car from beginning to end? Go ahead. Eagles, >> is it on? Number one, analyze the features and benefits that you want. Think what are the what do you need in the car. >> Okay. >> Okay. Sit down. >> Okay. Go ahead. >> Then you want to narrow it to a certain price range that's applicable to you. >> Okay. >> Then you find out what are the possibilities available within that price range with those. >> Do is he a purebred eagle? >> I need my toes filled. No. What is he mixture of? >> Owl 100%. He's not pure brats. Okay. No, I I knew this. He's not He's There's There's Remember the Eagles have three bullet points. Look at car buy the car delivered. It's done. It's literally done in one day. Owls will take three weeks. Doves will be asking everybody what they think and parrots the biggest loudest car around. So, but I want to point that out. >> It is true. We have 10 eagles. >> Right. But right the real eagle here. This is way too long. Like wow. Seven six items. >> But but I want you to realize that that's what's okay. He's a mixture. Go ahead. >> Then you do a comparison chart. You >> right >> there. You see what's available in the market >> and and you have just to make sure you have somebody that's familiar and that's not an eagle. >> Not he's not an eagle. It's okay. It's okay. He's my neighbor. >> I know I know he has eagle in him but he's primarily an owl. A successful businessman. Primarily an owl. And whoever made this, you disagreed with it, right? Yeah. So the ones just gave were the ones that there's too long, right? Exactly. That would be a real eagle. Excellent. And got it. Good. Thank you, Eagles. Good. Now I need doves. Dove. Now, will doves will do get up easily and use the mic? >> Dove. Which one is going to get up? Not easy. Not easy. Hashem, I guess I just embarrassed them. They have to do it. Okay, you hold it up. does. >> So the the the first item we discussed was budget. >> Budget or whether you need a car in the first place, right? >> Then how many people do you need to put in the car? >> Okay. >> And then uh the features, different features of the car. Then the function of use. What are you going to be using the car for? >> Little little owl. >> Gas gas. >> Gas gas versus mile. >> Little owl. >> Then the test drive the car. >> Test drive the car. For sure. For sure. test drive a car, right? >> And yeah, that that was it. >> Guess >> both. They use both colors. They use red. >> They marked who who wants what. >> Ooh, excellent. They marked who here wanted each one. They were so concerned that everyone should be part of the vote. Four people said budget. Four people. One said test drive. Four. two said color. >> So he was the eagle in our group. >> No, he's he's actually not. He's pure dove. Pure dove and now >> he's he took >> he took charge. Again, that's good cuz don't say I can't do anything. I'm just the dove. No, he took charge. But clearly, right, this I've never actually seen this before. This is beautiful that they actually voted on who says what in order not to make someone feel very dove because doves only care about people harmonious. >> Everything's a vote. >> Vote. Oh, having a vote. Excellent. Thank you, Doug. Okay, now parrots. >> Give me any parrots. >> Go ahead, Parrots. >> Somebody hold it up and stand up, please. Please. >> You guys are going to enjoy this. >> Okay. Number one, >> call the dealer. You got to destroy. Number one, call the dealer. Number two, call another dealer. >> Number three, at least we got this on. I feel better about myself now. We got test drive on number four. Call more dealers. >> Call more dealers. Okay. Paris. >> Ask friends. >> Okay. As friends. >> Handle and negotiate. >> Okay. >> Notice no features. No car. No analysis. >> Six. What does six say? >> Can't decide. >> Can't decide. Okay. >> Number seven. Wife decides. Number eight. Fine. And get it done. >> Excellent. Excellent. Now again, how long will it take a dove to buy a car? >> A month, two months. Eagles, one day. Parrots after because eagles are bottom line. Get the job done. I don't care. Parrots are my friends are going to like it. It's nice. We're speak handle this. a lot of h there's a lot of there's a lot of social interaction that there's a lot of handling and fun and that's part of the excitement the handle ride and he said yes and they handle this dealer against that dealer there's a lot of action going on eagles I need car now doves and owls >> owls do owls want to take the mic so easily No, >> owls do not want to take the mic so easily. Again, it depends where we're hind, you know, but regular owls quieter. >> Reserved in a good way, not a negative. Go ahead. Sh. >> Bullet point number. >> Lot of bullet points. A lot of bullet points. Go ahead. >> What's the car lasting longest? Which car is going to last the longest? >> Which car is going to last the longest? >> Go ahead. Yeah. List the car types, options, pros, cons of each type. Decide the type, >> type of pros, cons, consumer reports, the old Yeah. Go ahead. >> Speak to friends. >> Speak to friends also. Interesting. Speak to friends. It's not the friends. Speak to people who know. Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. Market research, not the friends. >> Buying, financing, >> leasing, buying your financing. Do you see the egos are laughing? >> They're not laughing at them. Just like why would you do all this, right? Yeah. Go ahead. >> Hybrid or gas? >> Hybrid gas. >> Cool. Minimum of two sellers, two dealers. >> Cool. dealers, right? Minimum, right? >> Wait. Wait. When it's cheaper. >> Wait when it's cheaper. Yeah. Very conscientious, right? Cir. >> You wrote quality, comfort, and >> quality, comfort. >> Usually comfort is at the end. >> Quality, comfort, and cheap. And then we crossed it out. part of the >> quality, comfort, and cheap. I would usually say quality, cheap, and comfort >> because comfort is the least important to owls. The efficiency is what's important. Who wants comfort? Parrots and doves. Comfort. Now, we all want comfort. But in importance of things, this is okay. Thank you, Banker Owls. Okay. Good. Okay. So now we understand that how many ways how many ways are there to buy a car? My way. Cuz each one of you thought the other person was crazy. Eagles thought the owls were nuts. Parrots thought the doves were nuts. Doves thought the parrots were nuts. Parrots thought the eagles were nuts. It's just now there are things that you may have liked of those things, but if you would if you were to take the assessment and you'd be a pure eagles and pure doves, you would come up with with much more strict to your bird in each one of your processes, but there I saw the smirks on your face when other people said things because there's only one way to buy a car, my way. But it's not true. Obviously, each one of you owns cars and you had your process and it's very very important to keep that process in mind when we're dealing with yourself. What is my process? And the moment you can identify my process, then you can say, "Oh, there's actually other processes do the exact same thing that's not bad or wrong. It's just another way of doing something." Okay, ready? We're going to do one more exercise and then we're going to move on to more of the details. Very important. Now, um we're going to ask each one of you to create a um so in the workplace, right? This for for for businesses. I say the business owner decided to give your company a new water cooling station or a uh a water, you know, a water cooler place to drink water, right? And he's going to make four different water cooler stations for each one of the birds. So the doves are going to have their water cooler station. The parrots have their water cooler station. The eagles have their water cooler station. And owls. I want you to think what each water cooler station would look like. What does a dove water cooler station look like? What does it sound like? What's the atmosphere? What are they serving? What does a parrot water cooler station look like? What are they serving? What are the What does it vibes? What's it sound like? What's an eagle water cool station? And what's a owl water cool station? So, but instead of doing what you would want, we're now going to ask you, I need the the um the uh parrots. I want you to make a water cooler station for the owls. I want you to think like what would an owl like in a water cool state? What are they serving? What's the vibe? What's What does it feel like? What is it? What What's going on at the work station? What does it sound like? I want the parro the doves to make a work station for the eagles. What does it look like? What are they serving? What's the vibe? Eagles for the for the doves and parrots for the owls and owls for the parrots. So, your job is to create a water cooler station that's made for parrots. Parrots made for owls. Eagles made for doves. Dove made for eagles. You got your your task at hand? >> Go. >> Five minutes. >> Water cooler station in your company, your business for the opposite bird. >> Go ahead. Very important. Think about what they would want. Think about what they would like. I had I had a husband All right. >> Eagles are done first. >> That's correct. No. Oh, it makes no difference. You're still working as an eagle. All right. Owls, doves, parrots to see who's going to work. >> Yeah. Right. Exa. Exactly. Well, you'll see. Exactly. Okay. So, now we're going to ask Okay. Now, we're going to ask the doves to please tell us. Please hold it up and tell us what does an Eagle water cooler station look like. Eagles, listen carefully. This is what they think your Eagle Cool looks like. >> It's grab and go. Everything is in bottles already. There's no time to fill up the cup. It's in a bottle and it's ready to go. And there's very good Wi-Fi because if you're there and something comes up, >> you can do the email >> and no seats. >> No seats. Excellent. Now, right. So, if you're smiling and you're saying yes, you're a pure eagle. Okay. If you say that's that's exactly what I want. Wi-Fi emails on the spot. No seats. Just grab and go and move. There's no time. Now, Eagles, what is the dove water? >> Okay. >> Yeah. >> So, >> hold it up. Hold it up. >> A lot of seating area. >> Lot of seats. >> Motivational quotes. >> Comfortable food for everyone. Healthy snacks, everything. Variety of food. The water is is room temperature cuz most people don't like it cold. And everyone takes care of something else. >> Wait. has jobs. >> Everyone has a job. And nobody cares if it's broken because for weeks, nobody's nobody tells the boys that it's broken. >> Excellent. Okay. Doves were not laughing. Parrots were laughing. Doves are okay. Owls. What does a parrot water station look like? >> Okay. Now you know what you are. >> Listen how it when you hear it. How does it make you feel when you hear it? So, first of all, uh this whole process of doing it is fully hired out. Like no one gave any um additional thought to to to figure out how they're going to do it, what they're going to buy. They just called somebody and somebody did it for them. >> Okay. >> Everything. >> So, it's definitely going to be the biggest coffee machine, soda machine, snack, >> biggest. >> We have a lot of stuff going on. It's not just going to be a water cooler. It just doesn't make any sense. >> People need more than water. I mean, what is just for survival? >> Um, there's going to be bar stools. >> Um, >> bar stools. >> Bar stools. Definitely some a little background music. >> Just for the vibe. Just for the vibe. Just like you can just sit around with it. Uh, definitely no garbage can. >> No garbage can. >> It's all about that. >> Um, what else is >> Oh, yeah. So, it's going to be on a monthly subscription. Like, no one is going to It's just they signed up to this most expensive guy and like every month It goes credit card. >> It just it just goes up and up and up and like no one has any idea that this thing is costing like a ton of money for the company. Um I also wrote there's going to be motivational quotes on the fridge. >> Okay. >> I do think that that uh generally going to be messy. Uh they know a guy who stacks kitchens. Okay. >> They know a guy who does kitchens. They hooked up with him. >> Uh tons of hack >> hack. A lot of hack going on. >> Lot of hack going on. And definitely excess food. Like it's >> a lot of extras. Marona. >> Okay. Excellent. Thank you. Now for the rebuttal. Parrots for the owls. Go ahead. >> Go ahead. Parrots. Hold it up. All right. Here we go. Here's the rebuttal. >> Anybody else want to? >> Go ahead. Take the mic. >> Go ahead. >> I want to be nice. Merrick, >> you're being nice. Trust me, you're laughing. They're not. >> Okay. Number one and very important rules and regulation sign example one cup per person. Again, one cup per person. Number two, we're going to be very costconcious. >> Very costconscious. We're going to be careful. We're buying. Number three, everything must be in its designated. The new games here. Number four, social distancing. >> 6 feet. Six feet >> between limited people. Number See, they're not laughing. >> They're not laughing. They're not laughing. That's the laughing. Limited time. Very limited time in the room. Number six. >> Limited options. >> And number seven, remember to clock out. >> To what? To clock out. Way deserved. Excellent. All right. The owls are mulletish. That's what Okay. Excellent. Excellent. So, so again, the owls were not laughing. They were smiling, but they weren't laughing because because it's interesting because each bird really really needs something totally different. And although it's funny, you're each one I noticed each bird was laughing when they're reading what the other bird wants because you did it in fun. the other bird wasn't laughing. And what you were doing is you were actually giving them what they really would make them feel calm. You really would make the doves feel calm if you gave them that. And the parrots really would make the doves owls feel and vice versa. And you're going to give them what they enjoy. And and you're giving them what they not enjoy, but what they need because owls because eagles just need it. Just get me what I need and move on. It's not about enjoyment. I need water. So this is so valuable because what happens is the first time we bought the car you bought about yourself what's important to you and now we're talking about others and it's sort of like funny how funny it is when you're thinking about others but it's exactly what this whole workshop is about. So the reason why this workshop is so important is because although MyersBriggs and Kobe and Disk is about understanding yourself they put very little emphasis on understanding others. It's about what am I? Will I fit this job or not? Will I get hired or fired? That's it. The goal of discs, especially the bird disc, is you need to identify someone immediately and understand what they need. I'm going to give you a couple of very quick examples now of what happens when you're deni. This is only for business. You'll understand what I mean, but it'll it'll come out in your personal life as well. Okay. Focus. Who wants the big picture? Just give me the big picture. Which bird wants the big picture? >> Eagles and parrots. Give me who wants the details? >> Owls and dogs. In fact, one of them said to me when they were doing the car thing, "So, what should we do?" Right? Looking with the sad eyes, "What should we do?" Because you're a dove. Just tell me what to do. I need the details. Okay. Now, let me give you the example of details, right? Um, oh, you didn't say, "Okay, let's move." Exactly. Delegation. Who wants freedom to fly? >> Parrots and eagles. Who wants structure? >> Owls. >> Owls. Okay, I'll give you a great example, right? Let's pretend I'm a parrot and I need to delegate to an owl. Okay, ready? I'm the parrot. Uh, I'm the head of the department and you're owls working in a uh marketing department. You're the owls in the marketing department and I'm a parrot manager. Ready? Listen to my words. Hey owls, I got this great project for you. You're going to love it. I love your work and your co-workers also love your work. You're going to do the best job at this. Anyway, next week we're having a companywide meeting and I need you a presentation on the latest marketing pitch. Everyone's going to love it. Any questions? I believe in you. What should I do? Watch this. Parrots. I am a marketing department head and I'm an owl in your own marketing. Ready? Hi parrots. I need next week a company. We're having a companywide meeting. I need you to give a presentation on your latest marketing project. You're going to have exactly 12 minutes to promote this to the company. I want a powerpoint exactly 10 slides, four facts on each slide, three bar graphs, four pie charts, quotes from subjects in the test run, the back of the success and the growth project. I need to be aerial 24point number on the font. Any questions? Your eyes are rolled back. You're ready to quit now. I, as a manager, believe I gave you the most important information you need. You're ready to jump out the window. Hey, I got this. Okay, I got this. Don't micromanage me. Again, I as department head really believe I did my best. I I gave them the information that they needed. It's not the information that you need. It's information that I need. I don't really care what you need. That's the problem. So, what happens is we we hide behind the fact that I'm a good father and I know what's best for my kid. My kid doesn't need that. In fact, my kid doesn't even hear what I'm saying. When I said that, what were you thinking? Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. I got this. Don't tell them what to do. Don't micromanage. Right. You were saying that in your head like you need to fly. Next week marketing best your project for the Okay, you got it. Good. If I do that to you, if I was the opposite, what do you want me to do? I'm quitting because I have no direction. No one's holding my hands. NO ONE'S TELLING ME WHAT TO DO. They're they're holding hands. Would you like tell me exactly what you want? But when I said this to them, wasn't that good? I need exactly four facts on each slide, three bar graphs, four pie charts, quotes from subjects. I need 10 slides. Okay? It should be exactly 12 minutes. You're going crazy. And they're like, they're loving this. This is great. So, it's so important when we talk about delegation to realize if you give freedom to the wrong person, you're killing them. If you have a kid who needs freedom and you come like a good father, let me tell you exactly what I need from him. I always tell if you go into a you go into a a car dealership to buy a car and I'm a salesperson. You walk in and I'm a parrot and you're a Dove. Hey, welcome. I got to show you this great car. Or vice versa. I'm a dove salesman and you're an eagle. How come? How can I help you? You're going to So, a good salesman, what does he do? He the moment you I'm going to show you how to do that. Within 5 seconds, you read who exactly what they are. You change your style to meet them and now you have a sale. If you're an owl, you walk into a showroom and you have a parrot, you're going to run out because you want details. What are the specs? Vice versa. If I'm an owl salesman and you're a parrot, I tell you, well, this car is 5.3 liter and 2.7 miles. Got shut up. Shut up. Right. But if if I can be a salesman and then change my style to become a parrot for the parrot, that's great. I made the sale. It's very simple. So that's why this is with your children. You really believe you're being a good father by hiding behind the structure cuz that's what you are. But that's not what your kid needs. It's so valuable when you realize that because then what you're the pesator. Who's gonna which kid is gonna thrive on the drama of the makus? Who's going to thrive on the drama? >> Parents. >> Parents. Who's going to thrive on the details and the blood? What red was it? Who was it? The details, the numbers. How many makis? Was it 50? Was it 250? Mayor Rabaka. Who which kid is going to want that? >> The owls. Who's going to feel the emotions of the seder? How it felt? How much you felt? >> The doves. Who's going to just get to the meal? He goes, "No, wait. What am I? Hashem saved us and never said in her gut. Move on. Next." Your kid whose eyes are like rolling back. Shut up. Shut up. Just get me out of here. Is the kid who you're not talking to cuz you haven't changed your style to meet them. you're doing. And again, you're hiding behind it like like I'm a good manager. I'm hiding behind the style. Let's move on. >> So, you know what? You have to just be even if you can't be cognizant. The reason why he's spacing out now is because he's not that solid. If he's the drama queen and you're discussing numbers or just reading, so just realize for right now, give him an extra candy. Just get him get him past this or make sure during your seder you're going to have, you know, your kids. Go with your wife. for the kids. Yeah, he needs to. This is where he's going to shine. So, let him shine cuz you're talking to him. At least be cognizant that you're not talk, they're not hearing you. If you walk out here and don't change anything, at least know my kid is going to be spacing out at this point or I want to get him into it. Talk about the emotion how you would have felt if you were in Mitz, right? feelings of she or right how exactly what were the details of every aspect. Wow. B Hashem loves us great. It was it was awesome. It was crazy. I TELL YOU LIGHTNING just even if you don't change just realize what you're who you're who you're talking to and who you're not talking to. That I think that if you walk out of that that's great. At least you know let's stress let's who which kid a kid which human how does a stress show itself external stress who's external who stresses loudly which bird >> parrot and eagle WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON here did you hear what he said it's crazy last time and is Who stresses internally? H how does a dove stress cry? Quiet, not crying, whatever. Right? So in business, how does an owl stress is the most important way? You never know how they you never know when your owl is about to quit because you know what stress means for an owl. How's owl stress? Back to work. OCD back to work. That shows your stress. So many business managers then realize why'd he quit? They should have told me that's cuz you're an eagle and they're an owl. They're not going to tell YOU YOU'RE A PARROT and they're a dove. They're not going to tell you. They don't they don't express stress in that way. So that's also very important to realize that that's stress. Okay, move on. Fears. I'm going to ask you one question. Angel said who wants to be right and who wants to be liked? Who wants to be right? Eagles and >> owls. Who wants to be liked? >> Parrots and doves. Exactly. It's very important because when you give the end of the year, very just a very quick um end of your assessment again. It's because your children are these. I'm going to take the end of the year right I'm going to move. I don't have time for this. Okay. The kids are that's what it is. Okay. It's very important. Disapproval among friends, among people. These are going to be your biggest fears. not be right is when it comes to owls and eagles. Okay, move on. Risk taken. Who's gonna take big risks? >> Parrots and eagles. Who take very little risks? Doves and owls. Why? Why are doves take Why are owls taking little risks? The numbers don't The numbers don't show. Why are eagles taking risks? Big risks, >> big rewards. Why are parrots taking risks? >> It's a great It's a great story. I SPENT THE MONEY IT DOES AND I LOST IT. THAT WAS CRAZY. It's a great story. Why are dogs not taking risks? >> Keep equilibrium. Don't rock the boat. No one's getting fired. Just keep it the way it is. Exactly. Okay. Rewards. Who wants big Okay. Ready? I got This is funny. I got I don't have time to do this, but I want It's very funny. Okay. Congratulations. Um, doves can No, do owls. Congratulations. Um, your peers nominated you for a local reward and you won. In fact, your reward was your nomination was so strong, we submitted for a national award and you won that, too. This is going to be so exciting. The big convention is so big, it's like three football fields. Your name is going to be shown ON THE JUMBO TRACK AND THEY'RE GOING TO HAVE BIG HUGE GIGANTIC SPLOUT SPEAKERS WITH YOUR NAME SCREAMING HOW GREAT YOU ARE AND YOU GET TO GIVE A SPEECH ABOUT HOW WONDERFUL THE COMPANY IS. ISN'T THAT GREAT REWARD? The Eagles will only like it because the president, the mayor's going to be there. We can rub shoulders and make a business deal. What type of reward does a does a does a dove want in your company or your child? A handwritten card. Thank you so much for all the work you've done for this company. Handwritten. They don't need no big what is eagle's name? Plaque on the wall. Gold plaque. Owls. It's like at the end of this at the end of this event, at the end of this event, you're going to give me praise. What type of praise does an owl want? Let's say I was an hour. What type of praise? You're going to thank me for this thing. Thank you, Zev. Is great. What type of praise do I want to hear? >> Table, the chairs were set up perfectly. We understood the content. The speakers were working great. Um, the details were good. Everything was set up. The mic was good. Very professional. I really appreciate that. If you're a dove, what type of what type of praise do you want? >> Connected. >> Everyone had such a nice time. It was so heartwarming. What do the parrots want? What if I'm a parrot? What do I want to hear? >> IT WAS GREAT. IT WAS SO MUCH FUN. If I'm eager, which I am, what do I want to hear? >> Mission accomplished. >> Need to monetize, >> right? Monetizer. Exactly. So, you're trying to reward your kid. You're trying to give a kid praise. What does he need? Does he need a Does he need a card, handwritten card from Tati, Mommy? Does he need to be taken to great adventure? Does he need to talk about all the everything was set up? It was you really set the table beautiful. Do you know how beautiful table was set up? And the the laughter was polished and the the cups and the kices were there and you set you talk about the details. Eagles, it was great. Great job parrots. Wow, it was amazing. And understanding that is the reward is public, private, what they need in order to make them feel like they count. Okay, let's continue. Preference. Who loved CO? Owls and doves by myself. Who hated CO? No, take it back. It's owls and eagles love CO. Who love who who hated CO? Parrots and dogs. Because no social setting. Put your kids what where they are. Does he need independent? Does he need group? Okay. This is stuff for life, not just for the seder. Okay. Communication. Who wants content? Who wants delivery? It's not for kids. It's more for business. But when you talk to somebody, it's how you say it. Okay, I'll give you a perfect example. Owls, before you send an email, do you reread it? What are you looking for? Grammar, spelling, right? Excellent. Doves, do you reread your emails before you send it? What are you looking for? >> Not hurting anybody. >> Tone. Tone. Right. Eagles, do you even read your emails before you hit send? >> No. Who cares? Whatever happens happens. Okay. So, what happens is is that when we communicate with others, >> don't write emails. >> Whatever. And the secretary voice voice voice they do boy what's up voices right right so it's just really when when you're commu communicating what's your communication so for the eagle does the eagle want to have your email hi welcome thank you so much why eagles go crazy delete delete delete delete delete only hear this because when you're one of the exercise we do in business is how to send an email to the opposite love hearts hearts love emojis what it doesn't work because I'm I'm I'm talking to what they need bottom line and when the eagle is talking to a dove hi good evening good afternoon how you feeling how was your weekend owls to parrots owls are doing all the nitty-gritty details and parrots going crazy get what they need excitement enthusiasm and vice versa are parrots to doves because remember here's what happens at the end of the day. Every bird thinks the eagles are bulls. They just plow you over. Trumps plow you over. That's the negative side of the eagle. Parrots are airheads, bubbly idiots, don't think about anything. Owls are OCD. And dogs are mush. They're just they're just pushovers. Right? That's the negative side. But no, after this we realize eagles on apple vons parrots on airheads mushbots not OCD. That's just the way they communicate. So your child, who is that of my kids, he's super sensitive. But your your kid who's adult, he's super sensitive. The negative side. No, he's not. He's sensitive and caring. That's what he is. Oh, my kids ADHD just all over the place. Can't have any jobs because they just don't know all over the place. No, that's what they need. excitement, enthusiasm. They need to be able to create a world of that around them. Eagles, you can never talk to him. He doesn't I mean your why the wives of eagles are going to have the worst problem. He doesn't care about emotions. No, you have to understand he's a bottom line. So, just get to the point. Now, I'm not telling your wives to listen to this workshop, but at the end of the day, it's the same thing. If you use your your p your communication style to an extreme, like I said, that's a crime. You can't get away with it. I can't be nice because I'm an ego. That's ridiculous. So understand this each one of these things is really what's going to make the difference when you talk to your kid at the seder or all year round. I mean this is for everything. This is happens to be the seder but okay. Okay. Listening. Ready. Very important. Okay. Ready? Listening. Who when you have a problem, who do you speak to? Which bird? >> Doves. Why? Because the doves are listening to you. Okay? Because here's the word doves. What type of listeners? Empathetathetic listeners. They listen. They empathize. They're empathetic listeners. Okay. Next. Eagles. What type of listeners are eagles? What are they listening? >> They're bottom line listeners, which means be brief, be brilliant, be gone. They're bottomline listeners. So when you talk to an eagle, get to the point. Doves, empathetic listeners. Eagles, bottomline listeners. Owls, what are they listening for when owls talk? They're trying to find the problems that you're saying, trying to trip you up, see where you're wrong. Not. That's the negative. They're analytical listeners. They listen. They analyze everything you're saying. Doves are empathetic listeners. Eagles are right now. Parrots. Be honest with me. Would you rather be talking or listening? >> Parrots. Now, again, in this room, if you're not a parrot, you think parrots are basically self-centered, right? They're just rude people. All they care about is themselves. Parrots would rather be talking than listening. But now, I'm going to let you into the mind. I'm going to open up the window of a parrot. Ready? Here we go. Let's say you're talking about a subject. You're talking about fishing, right? So you have a conversation, you talk to a parro fishing and man, I went to a fishing trip. The parrot is waiting you to take a breath. Well, you take that deep breath AND HE JUMPS HIS I WENT FISHING TOO AND I WAS FISHING and he WON UP YOUR STORY BY HIS FISHING STORY. So rude. They're self-absorbed. They're obnoxious. All they care about is themselves. Ready for this? Epathetic listeners, bottom line listeners, and a lot listeners. What are parrots? >> No. >> Responsive listeners. The way they show love to you is by sharing stories. Because if they don't like you, they ignore you. If they don't share their story with you, that means they have no connection with you. How do they connect with you? By sharing. Sorry. They're responsive listeners. That's the way they listen, by responding. So, we just went from obnoxious, uh, self-absorbed, don't care about anybody to no, that's the way to listen. So, if you have a kid who needs to always, he's the parrot. Realize when you talk to them, they're responsive listeners. They want to share with you stories. That's the way they listen to you. Okay. Okay. Change. Who hates change? Who hates change? Which kid hates change? >> The owls and the doves. Owls hate it because who says it makes sense? The numbers don't add up. Why do hate change? >> Because who breaking the equilibrium? Breaking calm. Why? Who? Who loves change? Eagles and parrots. Why do eagles love change? Because change means opportunities. Parrots. Great story. Okay. Time management. This is your biggest issue. Time management. Who's the worst in time management? Raise your hand. >> Parrots. Why? They'll get to it, but there's so much fun that has to happen till they get to it. They just can't get to it. Right. Exactly. Now, who's the the slowest? The owls. Why? Not because they're trying to be nunick because they want to make sure >> it's perfect. They're perfectionist. The negatives. Owls have to be perfect. And therefore, they keep going over and over again. So, when you have an owl child, you say to them, I need to spend 10 minutes on this or one day. You get to tell them exactly because otherwise they'll spend forever because they want to do the right job. Perfect. Doves or what are doves going to be? Fast or slow? Also slow. Not because they're slow. They they could be some owl in them, but because they just want to make sure everything is good and they're also they want to make sure that it's going to be done right. Not in the perfectionist side. Eagles get the job done right away. Okay. Feedback. So, we discussed feedback. how important it is to realize that when you're talking to fe when you're talking to somebody, you know, like the praise we saw around here, mission accomplished. That's the feedback you need to get. Conflict. Who hates conflict? Doves hate conflict, right? They'll fight for others, but they hate conflict. Owls, well, if they have the numbers, they don't mind conflict. If they can prove they're right, they'll fight to the death because they got the numbers. Eagles love conflict because conflict means opportunity. And parrots now parrots parrots also will fight for parrots also will fight for um for other people more than themselves. Parrots care more people. Okay. Okay. Ready? I know I'm right because eagles, how do you know you're right? Cuz you're right. That's it. Parrots, how you know you're right. Everybody says >> the loudest. >> How you know you're right, parrots? >> It feels right. >> It feels right. Exactly. It just feels right. Owls, how you know you're right? >> Makes sense. >> The numbers does. How you know you're right? >> Thinking right. >> Cuz we all agreed, right? We all agreed on it. So we all agreed that we must be right. Exactly. Okay. Okay. Here we go. Ready? Everybody stand up. Go to this per perimeter of everybody go to around the room. >> No, actually yeah, you can say actually st stay. Okay. When you walk into him the first time in your life, you don't know anybody. Go to a barit go to you know nobody. Okay. You're in the room. You all but you're all one. You're all eagles. This is a way you can easily identify somebody just by when you walk into the showroom. They walk in right away to identify what you're for the first time meeting. Everybody's the eagle. Right now when I say three, I want you to turn around to each other and greet yourself as an eagle. One, two, three, go. >> Zev, nice to meet you. >> Okay, stop. Okay, I heard one wrong word. Someone said it's nice to meet you. Eagles don't say, they say zev. >> What do you do? >> What do you do? What do you live? How much money you make? That's it, right? Okay, stop. Now think. I want you now when I say go to think of how a dove introduced themselves. Three, two, one, go. Dove. >> Very nice. Okay, good. So, you notice the body is limp. Hi, Ze. How are you? How you doing? Do you live? Body's low. The head hand is like a little dead fish. Like a stickle dead fish over there. Right. That's what it is. An eagle. An eagle is gonna be Zeb. Two hands looking in the eye. Zeb. No. Hello. How? Next. Think to yourself how an owl has an owl introduce himself. Go ahead. 3 2 1 bit harder. >> Okay. So, an owl first. An owl doesn't shake hands. Social distancing the oriental bow because co Okay. But an owl is going to do more of the colder. Hi, my name is Ze and I live in blah blah blah. That's it. It's not as abrupt as an eagle, but it's it's uh more cold, but you know, more tless. It's a tas. Okay. Think of a parrot. Three, two, one. Go ahead. Fist bump. Fist bump. Okay, good. Everybody sit down. Good. Right. So, you can tell people right away by the way they introduce themselves. They give it away. Again, even though many times you're going to have people who will be different, but you want the first reaction, that's the way you can tell people right away. Now, your children you have more interaction with than general people, but it's important to keep this in mind. Now, I want you to think we have we have another five minutes left. Okay? What happens here is that what we need to do is I I want you to think now. I want you to think let's talk now. Give me famous people. Give me famous usually, you know, it's politicians and give me famous people. Give me famous eagles right now. I can identify their charact. >> Mark Cuban. >> Okay. Trump. Trump is clear. He's Does anybody know Hilly Hill here? >> Okay. Hilly Hill is a >> pure he's the only he I've done workshop for 400 of his people in marquee healthcare. He is a pure parrot. He's actually just one parrot, right? I use his pill, my good friend of mine. He's just a parrot, right? He's a parrot, right? Trump is an ego. There's nothing to talk about. >> What? >> Trump has a little parrot, you know, loud. >> He his main features. Okay, so let's think think about owls. Who's an owl? You mean owl? I mean, again, usually by businesses, movie stars and rock stars and >> Mark Zuckerberg. Mark Zuckerberg. Clearly an owl. Exactly. Exactly. Right. Who's a dove? What? Elam Musk. >> Owl. >> Well, El Musk is an owl eagle. He's Well, he's whatever. Okay. So, again, what what I need you to do, again, this is an exercise we take time on because you will need to identify because I want you to see the character, but you get the point. Let's just wrap it up here. When I when Okay, these are the combinations. Parrots and parrots and eagles go together because you're both what? Outgoing. Big picture. Outgoing. Parrots and doves go together. >> Because you're people oriented. People orient. It's about people. Doves and owls go together because you're >> even pa even p introverted is a negative word. Even paced and reserved. That's a positive way. Introverted, right? Positive. I want to say that positive way. and and eagle and owl because you're task oriented. So these are the general if you're going to be right rare is to have this that's very rare how can you be an eagle right is to have this how can be detail orient I know that if I have to do my taxes I need three beers before I even start and eight right because I stress out not because I can't do my taxes but the stress of me being deoriented will kill me I can do it but I have to compensate with some alcohol because I'm going to be so stressed out by doing it, >> right? I know what I'm good at and I know what I'm not good at. So, this is also rare. And of course, this is very rare to have this. There are people like that. World great world leaders again, not because they're all four and too extreme. They usually hover around the 50 mark. So, where I was, uh, I was an eagle and 90 eagle and 90 parrot. No one's going to be 90 eagle 90. That would be crazy. They're usually much more around the 50 mark. So they're all hovering above. That's why you'll see that. Okay. The opposite. Okay. The opposite of a crown to another truth. Here we go. Ready? As children good always learned this rule. The golden rule. Treat others the way you want to be treated. Zev, you just spent an hour and a half telling us that that's not true. Yes. When it comes to midos, you treat others how you want to be treated. When it comes to communication, the home rule, treat others how they need to be treated. That's the home rule. In communic in mid said you you treat others you want to be treated. You want people to treat you nice, but in communication, it's the home rule. You treat them or communicate with them the way they need to be commun because they're not listening. Your children will not hear what you're saying if you are not talking to them as their communication style. Okay. So, which style should you display? >> A chameleon. Chameleons is an animal that switches colors. You're not birds anymore. We graduated. You were a bird for the first hour and a half. You all graduate to chameleons. You're a chameleon. Of course, you have your own communication style. That's who you are. By the way, it may change. Like I said, according to personality styles, you can't change the Holocaust. Not. But in the Holocaust, you had to become something. You change. People that SW go through trauma. You change. You're at home. You change. So my test now could be eagle parrot. Who knows? Maybe in 10 years from now, become a dove parrot. Things may change in my life. And your communication style could change because you need to change. That's why the Israelis are more eagles. The way you treat others is a chameleon. The moment you meet someone else, you adapt to what they need, their communication style, and that's going to change every relationship, especially with your children. Okay? So, you're an eagle, you show give p give the big picture, generate excitement to your parent. If you're a dove, show empathy with your children. Want to take a picture of this? This is the picture. If you're an eagle, give big picture. The sader, big picture. They don't want to hear details. They don't want to hear emotions. They don't want to hear uh um a fluff. They don't want to hear They want to hear big picture. They don't need excitement. Real eagles don't need excitement. And if you do, that means because you're an eagle parrot, which most your children are. They're a mixture. Nobody's one, right? But this thing, if you the sader, show details. Get into the details. They'll love it. The details and not just the numbers, any details. What the blood and how the frogs were and what the frog looked like and and how many pimples a frog had on its teeth. Right. Show simp empathy when you're talking to anything to say with your dove child. Talk about the emotions how it felt and what it feels like. By the way, the balag understood this. That's why there's something for everybody in the walk around with mats on it. There's everybody has everything in the hag. This is this is the key. I would say this is for the Okay. Okay. This is one exercise we do and I've been not doing it. How would you write an email to say the same concept? Okay, let's move on. Okay, imagine a team of all Eagles. Imagine a team of all parrots. Nothing would get done. Imagine Okay, I'm going to owls. Imagine Table owls. I quit right now. this when I do this with when I do this with companies, I always do that and then I go back to this and I say I'm not walking out of here until you agree. Imagine team of all doves and what the dove say that'd be great. I I literally every time 100 people in the room I said I'm not walking out to you agree with me doves. Wouldn't that be great? All doves. >> Wouldn't that be great? >> Tell them all the time. >> What's wrong? What's wrong with all doves? Nothing. >> No one to help. >> What would be wrong if it was all done? >> No leadership. >> There's no leadership. Nothing would get done. There'd be no risk. No change. >> No excite. What? Okay. There'd be no change. There would no risk takingaking. A company would only does that. Nothing would get nothing. You just we have to vote on everything. Sometimes you can't just vote. I told the imagine a family a husband and wife of just doves who would who would lead the family who would say we need to move we need to change we need to who would do anything so this is the hardest because dogs really believe the world be great dogs it's not you really need all four bird and real companies they will put in each department one of each cuz there's no way you could understand any concept which have four different weights of do something in your family. Your children who are the doves, they have the most amazing amazing opportunity and you got to talk to them as a dove. Otherwise, they're not listening to you. A parrot eagle. Okay. Over your strengths. When is it? We'll finish with this. When an ego abuses his ego, when does he become aggressive, impatient? So if you're an eagle, now this is thear of being an eagle. Aggressive, impatient, doineering, insensitive. If you're a parrot, what's your when you become a real parrot? Unrealistic, disorganized, manipulative, too bubbly. If you're a dove, what do you become when you're the being a dove? Passive, insecure, martyr, smothering. All right, I'll just whatever. And if you're an owl, what do you become when it's negative? Perfectionist, critical, indecisive, detached, emotionally detached. So all these things cause tremendous stress. >> Okay. So bottom line, tone it down, turn it up, develop strategies. Uh the 10 rules, don't try to teach a pig to sing. It will frustrate you and annoy the pig. Which means you can't change anybody else. Never try to change your child. Never. it won't work and you'll just frustrate everyone around you. You change to him. He doesn't change to you or she. Don't use your style as an excuse or a weapon. I'm just an ego. It's not my fault. I'm a parrot. It's not my fault. I'm an adult. It's not my fault. Okay? Working out of your style takes energy and cause stress. If you need to do your taxes and you're a parrot, just realize, take into consideration that you're going to have a lot of stress. A a low style score is not a weakness unless you lack flexibility when you need it. If you if you're low in something and you say I can't change, then you have a problem. You can just you have to compensate for it. When someone pushes your buttons, okay, it's intended. Don't overuse or underused. Tap into the right there. All styles are good unless they're overused. To understand what people need, watch what they do. You want to know what your kids just you and your wife just go over watch what your kids do. You'll know exactly what they are. And if you don't know exactly, they'll let you know. When you talk details and you thought they're an hour and they hate details, then guess what? you'll change. Okay. The home rule, treat others the way they need to be treated and use the four styles of relationships and get better results. Thank you.