Rav Zevi Hammelburger speaking at Thursday night Mishmar Parshas Ki Savo at Scheiner's Shul

We're going to call this kabur fomo. Let's see why. FOMO. What is FOMO? >> So, most of us know that as fear of missing out. >> So, we're going to call it FOMO. Fear of missed opportunity. The guy walks in town and he sees the outskirts is a pesakar. right place for dead people. And he notices on the on the on the mat on the tombs like looking at dates and he sees this guy seems like people are not living that long in that town. She's thinking maybe I shouldn't hang around here a little bit. Seems like something maybe some type of co some virus going on there. But it seems that the ages are very young. 5 10 15 18 16 22 or 23 or 31. You're not seeing many 80 year olds. This guy is thinking maybe it's time to book out. >> Yeah, on on the Matas. >> We'll pause the story for a moment. We'll get back to it perhaps. We're holding an owl now. We're We're already more than halfway past owl. We're starting, right? It happens to be the year with the most because because Tuesday so we have the most days of >> meaning when when wean is a Wednesday we'll have four just jabas this year >> depending on how many days I didn't think of that >> yeah we're starting so this is the max amount of >> so max amount max amount of kamal is on one hand it's a little bit intimidating because it's not it's not easy but on the other hand will give us hopefully a better opportunity to be to come into the but what is the void what is the job of it's our job what is the job of you know obviously it's it's not you know simple but what is the job first of all is it a time for fear or not >> that's is it so let's try to understand the avoid a little bit let me ask you a question we say in Roshasha Right. Right. We say that every year our our lives are are hanging in the balance of of the young men. But is that really so? I mean theoretically right after Kipper there should be a lot of funerals going on right it's not the way it happens right typically though the bad guys are not dying at right after Kipper. It's not like we're seeing just we'll drop dead suddenly after Y Kipper. >> Yeah. But from last year, it's a lease unlikely that he moved the contracts up. >> Now, let's see if you're going to make >> Okay. So, so let's go see. But, but I mean, if a guy had a didn't do the greatest year or is not the best guy and he but some of these guys we're looking at don't seem to who aren't doing chuva aren't really making an elash and they're somehow making it through. >> So, maybe they gave to Dhaka >> perhaps. Maybe >> perhaps or maybe there's more to it. Maybe there's a deeper meaning of what it means. could be. You know, I'm not privy to what's going on up there. I'm not uh if I was privy, I wouldn't tell you, >> right? So, but what does it mean? Maybe there's a deeper meaning to measure says that the months of Nissan, if I mix up the months, you you'll correct me. Please be with me. I might test you. Nissan were given to Yakov. The months of Thomas of Ela says this. >> That's right. >> And and the Yak was was he was happy because he had L. Since he had L, we couldn't we wouldn't have our T for. Yakov grabbed worked out exactly how but Yakov was able to hop back. So Tom wasn't of remain with Asov whatever this again these are >> D is beyond we understand but >> right we had Nissan Asov has Thomas oh we got back out >> what happened the rest of >> what I'm not sure I ain't go that far but tonight we'll stick with talking about also. >> So, so he he gets into So, but fine. That's that just shows you the the the the was because he had and we go we got it back. But what is he says? What was Hashem doing in We know what Hashem did in in he created man and that he created the world and then to that month he created man. is when that's the purpose of creation even though just on the side right the world was created before that the world was created on >> so why is it called the birthday of the world because is the purpose of the world so everything was just there for us so that's the purpose okay but still what was Hashem doing in What happened to No, I wouldn't ask that question. But he was asking doing so. Listen to what he says. >> He says was doing in he was willing the world. He was being merat of the world. He was wanting the world here. He wanted the world. Oh, we'll get there. Good. Good. No. Good. Good. I'm I'm I'm begging you to ask. I'm like setting you have to ask me. He was wanting the world >> every second. He wants us meaning we have to be >> meaning okay let's what does that mean so first of all didn't need the world rightes you know I always tell my kids I talk about how we don't understand if I if I if I understand my god it would be a bad thing if I have if I if he needs to be understood by me that's a bad I don't want a god like that right we want a god I don't understand >> you don't understand father doesn't understand right so Right. >> Right. Good. >> Right. Exactly. So, so >> right. >> The the does not need the world. He doesn't need us. He doesn't need the world. But he wanted the world. He wanted to give. He wanted to be amazed. He wanted it. So that concept of rutson where he wanted he created it in in tre but the desire for that that was out and zar let me explain more where do we find where do we find this concept of l being >> here floor's open where do we find the concept of l King Rosson >> that this idea of Roson. Yeah. You may rot. So I'll tell you I'll give you a hint. >> What do you mean? I mean >> day of wanting. >> Yeah. These days of rosin days of of peace rods wants desire >> as you said wants the world. >> That that's I'm telling you the world. Where else do we find that? >> Good. the the last 40 days mean there were three sets of 40 days. The first 40 days was very very bad. We don't want to talk about that. That's not exactly you know the um thing that we want to talk about. That's that's that's that our negative part of this history right the first 40 well the whole well you know it seemed like the whole 40 days. >> Right. Okay. Fine. >> You know you're right. You're right. Fine. You're right. The first 40 were good. I'm sorry. You're right. First 40 were good. I'm sorry. The first 40 were good. You're probably the middle were bad. You're right. The middle 40 were bad. Good. Thank you. And and then the so three 40 the first 40 was man then the middle 40 was the eagle and the whole middle time were ready to destroy Israel and Mosha fash who it was up there trying to beg not to say I won't and and the last 40 was who fully forgave that 40th period and Rashi says means the kazal that is the last 40 were like the first 40 >> meaning this idea of was created because of the right >> okay good meaning here it is second to second that's right >> in the middle 40 which you were saying with anger but the first four were and the last 40. Yeah, I was I was getting the right that was the last for >> so Dr. This right this idea that really really what happened was the idea of rot was created when put that into the into the month who created he created had in it the bria hashem put in the concept of want I want something the concept you could want something and have it and the middle the last 40 it allowed let me explain a little How do you define you asked before how do you define will roson? So we all want things right. How how do you know if you want something? I think the best way to define if someone wants something is how much you's willing to give up to get it. I think that's how I would define real want. Meaning meaning we all want I I I want >> sacrifice, >> right? Sacrifice. I I I want something >> right. But but I mean let's forget about you the sacrifice. Let's take it either way for a second. Just let's be just pure wants. A guy who says, "I want to make a lot of money. I want to make a lot of money." Guy wants to make a lot of money. That's I want to make I want to be wealthy. That's his real desire. That's his guy's driving force. >> Okay. >> Like really wants you got to do. >> Let's go. Let's go. I want to be wealthy. Let's go wealthy. Yeah. Jo, let's go wealthy. He wants to make So now, okay, so it takes effort. Now guys in a way I want money but I also want to sleep till 10 o'clock right and take it easy right and just not work hard it's not going to happen. So you might want a lot of money but your rod for for sleep and your desire for maybe you know taking these on the couch and watching the game is more than your rustling for money clearly because you you really want it you would give it up. You doesn't mean you don't want it. you do want it and you if you're jealous of it, you want it >> but not enough not that level where you're willing to give up your other thing. >> Used to always say people always want to be they want to learn 17 hours a day but want to sleep very good >> right very good is that very good >> right very good so I met a guy once I remember I'll I'll never forget this it was interesting met a guy The guy was young. He's a teenager. I remember telling me I knew the family. He that was going to some type of job. He's like, "You know, if I want like Zebie, I want to be a brain surgeon, I could be it." He was like like dead serious. Maybe 16, 17, 18y old kid. Like, if I wanted to be a brain surgeon, I could be it. I know I can because I just I could do it. I just don't want to. But he he said with such conviction that his words this is got to be a long time ago but but I remember here I was like wow he's right if he really wants it then he'll do it he could he'll do it now it might be different people have different levels of heart it could be certain things are beyond everyone can do everything granted >> I had discussion but one second one second granted but but I it showed me that that he believed in himself that if he really really wanted something >> he could do it. >> When there's a will, there's a way. >> Right. Right. But OB again is obviously the scroll is not going to fly. Obviously there you have to have the and there's such things >> because there are like athletes that tried and tried and tried as much as possible. >> Yeah. And and you'll get close again. You'll get close and obviously that's you have to know your but the concept that I'm just saying what does rot mean? Want. But want we misuse the word want. I want something but okay I also you say I also want to >> you don't want that >> I also want something more than that. So the the the how much you want will be defined how much you one is willing to what >> give up or sacrifice to get that want. So that's so now we know the word want means listen listen what happened wanted the bria so he injected an el the idea of want Listen what happened now because it's in the month of El you have the concept of that when you really want something you can get it then when we did we were at a point where we had a tremendous distance from Hashem tremendous distance even after we're not going to destroy you there was a huge gap and and that we weren't satisfied we didn't we weren't okay with that like no we want to get back to where we were and we took that rats and represented us was were here wanting that in this month of El and the first made sure we were doing show we want we don't want we don't want to tolerate being second class second right economy we used to be business class and then we got pro demoted to economy because of our weren't okay with that so far we weren't destroyed we weren't okay no we won back to what we were in fact we won more than for he said they're okay because of that we wanted we weren't okay that that rotson that was hashem already put that in the bria in we carried it out we carried it out to get the chuva of ll that created the full ch of the kipper that what that's was all a result of like this bria the the ruts in again so rutsen means real want we really want the chuva what's chuva right to return to hashem to be close the relationship to be close again, not have the barriers that were created from the so that was all from L and that's avoid of now now again there's I would say there's three steps in such a thing okay in in L now we know what's avoid of l avoid of l is rot what does it mean right I explain to you what avoid is rot and I explain to you what rot What does that mean to us? It means what do I want? I need to really think about what I want. I'm not saying chuva for the audac places really is that's not really even right >> that's more right. But loloid of course that's part is to what the icker to figure out what I want what do I want now I'm not saying this is a good always a good idea to on your stage mental stage of that day but I was at Levia recently um for non-firm relative of and they were talking about the funeral now some things were said were were actually but some things were I'm thinking to myself when I it's my time like what do I want people to say about me my funeral I'm not thinking you know it's a great I just learned about I forgot which mayor was he asked >> two two uh oh who who >> might what do you say when I die >> very good very good >> right so right so what are you going to say when I die >> asked yes he has two two people they didn't believe they got punished then >> well because yeah why I got punished because they they didn't they should they should have a Yeah. Why? >> Yeah, they got punished. But it's No, it's good. Very good. >> Remind me. >> Wait, no. No, he said it. Now say it. What? >> So I was at at the funeral. I'm thinking that >> what do I do? I want people at my funeral talking because they said some nice things. I'm like, yeah, this person was a really big, you know, fan of a certain baseball team. Like talking about that. Now again, they said nice things also, but I was thinking like, >> but the show doesn't care about that, >> right? So, okay. So again, I'm I'm like, "So do I want them talk like you ever hear someone talk about someone they how much money they need, how much duck they gave, >> you ever had talk about, you know, how much they worked, how much time with their kids, their whole family. >> What do you want?" Like somebody told me, "What do you want on your tombstone?" >> You want to remember that, >> right? So you want on your tombstone. >> So I think L is a time where to first step in Rodstein. >> That's scary. >> It it is a little I'm not isn't it not always, but there are times for this thought. the time to think about what do I want meaning not what I want meaning real and want this we said want I want a lot of things but like you said I want things more what do I really want means what do I want the most >> what should I want >> good so that's maybe no maybe you're right >> maybe you're right what do I should I want and then get to work >> to want that's a big idea first what I want I should want and then I want then go clarify the get you know work on yourself to really really want that because there's so many levels of wants like we said I want to make a lot of money but I don't want to I also want to sleep a lot meaning okay example I really want this you're doing every day diving every day some people have that struggle okay but how much do you want that think about it are you willing to wait to give us sleep for that okay I want to stay I want my phone every day soon okay it's easy for us right how about staying diving the whole time not talking diving how about not get angry how about you know how about spend time with my kids and my wife whatever you're doing mean meaning think about what's important that will not just evalu change you >> and define you >> and make that make that that's what I was thinking oh >> what was that >> how to not get angry you live completely alone >> it's not easy it's not easy to other people >> no it's not easy >> right of course and it does I know someone incredible thing look listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen I know someone that you people I don't say people was a known person and and and my wife wrote to my my wife wife told me that she doesn't shy from this like like she had an anger issue an anger issue real issue I mean she got angry and 20 plus years working on it not not 10 two not two months 20 plus years but like and now doesn't mean she doesn't have that the concept of a more of a of a straightforward person or are strong, but it's controlled. It was years. >> They work to control that media, but they that was their mission >> and and they see progress. It's an incredible thing to to do that and walk back a year look back a year later like it's incredible feeling look back and like wow I got better. There's nothing greater. >> It really isn't. Now, now again, so so l is the time now. It's not an easy thing, but it's a little change. Of course, truth is needed, but really you need to what do I want to get to? Now I asked you I started telling you right that I mean come on come on right is that really happening I mean many people we ask forward you know it should be after there should be a lot of leas of those bad people the Russians now it could be you're right that is close to >> but I'll say something deeper perhaps has a deeper meaning what is life this I heard this line from a great line from Ary Benuan life is living or existing What's what'sus living or existing? >> Living mean no existing is I'm just do nothing. But I I exactly >> I started telling you the story about I started with a story, right? A guy walks into the town and he's by the funeral by Safari Syria. There's a cemetery. He's like, "Whoa, I quickly because people here are dying quickly. I don't want to be part of that." Like 16 14 like no one living past 28. Like what's going on over here? What the what diseases over here? And he walks out. He's an old man. He's like, "What's going on here?" He's like, "Oh, you mean the the you mean the He's like, "No, we don't write down how when they died, how many years they existed. >> We write how many years they lived." >> Says this m they wrote the years, not that they existed, they lived. Are we living or existing? means >> might mean on a deeper level >> a year of living or dying not >> year of like >> meaning we want so care listen to the punch line carefully >> productivity now but that's not that's us if we want something so badly then Hashem is going to give us what we need to get that let's say a person I really want to work on anger I really want to work on that but it's hard and the more experience you go through and need help with that and every challenge you know so maybe I should you really want to work on that you try you thought about that you're making steps you know I'm going to give you a little better partners this year make it a little easier for you right I'll give you life a year of physical life to work on that because you're part right I'll make it I'll give you more more things to make it easier for you because you want that you worked on that rot the el led to the creation of the world okay was the bria then in tish he created it >> the what we want will create what we get to. We need to first want it then that will allow us to get it. It's a deep concept but is on the deeper level of not existing living that perhaps will be there then I just want to end with a quick story. I think it's appropriate now. um a verbal wine was nifter about four weeks ago I think right it's almost a relation and he was a person that I didn't know I learned in yeshiva that he started after he had already left in shar but he's a person that he was was a lawyer then he became a rov moved to Florida created a whole congregation then he went to my created a whole shu and yeshiva then it wasn't enough there not young went there at stra I just kept going and I was talking to some people who some of his talim from yeshiva who I learned with the night and they told me yeah we have like a whole kabura >> like a chat that like with him and like every month officially maybe every six weeks we would like have like like a like a together like he would talk to us he's n he was 91 when he's not 61 he just didn't give up where did it come from there's a known story and I'll end with is that I mean it's it's again I'll try facts the best way I remember it but raises Croin said this over that one time he asked her if I wine like maybe it's time to like this is not this is not now this is like years ago so I don't know when he was but before he was 91 I don't 20 years ago I don't know it was a long time ago he was ready not >> but he maybe it's time to maybe take it easy a bit over >> he was Yeah. >> Yeah. I once said that story. He said >> he said one morning in 1946 he was 11 I think or 12 years old >> in Chicago. No >> Chicago his father was a rever there in Chicago the congregation of the Chicago west side woke him up early in the morning as we're going to the airport the airport to agree of Herzog. >> Okay fine. So I get in the car very excited to go >> of Herzog with Chief Raba first. Chief Rob are very strong >> Herzog. >> Yeah. Again, a person hears, you know, fits right in >> from case in point. >> He says he gets to the airport and there was a whole um a whole slew of robot there together on the tarmac to gerog and he was there a little boy. He was there. He said I remember watching this you know distinguished figure come out exit the plane you know t you know silver to path over there tanakh on one hand sorry silver cane top p silver cane and a and a he watches him and he starts speaking fine then he brought him over afterwards to the yeshiva to the Hebrew theological college which is one of Iwan's relatives started and he spoke and he said to the to the to the school, I want to tell you about a recent visit I just recently had. >> This was published >> in could be could be I heard this many years ago >> um >> where I had a recent visit with the pope in the Vatican. I came to the pope with a list with a list of 10,000 children, Jewish children that were given over to the church during the war for safekeeping. And I'm asking the pope to please release them back to us now to our kids. thousand >> Jewish children. >> And the pope says to Herzog, they've already been baptized and they can't do it. So while he speaking, he started crying. He's not uncontrollably crying. And said Raywine said he remembers during this cry you could hear his cries for the 10,000 children and all the other children suffering as well in the world. He just the cry consisted of all the pain. >> After he got his composure back, he said, "I can't do anything more for those 10,000 children." But he charged and he like a powerful voice said, "Each one of you, each one of us must answer the question, what are you doing for the Jewish children, Jewish people?" And he said that lat that that sat in his mind for just forever. What are you doing for the Jewish people? like that voice that strong voice from that Rabbi Herzog it laid a lasting impression on him and others and that I I believe I I mean I believe that he never let down because he had that voice he and that created a rut inside of him. I will do something I will I will help do things for the Jewish people for the Gindon. I'm going to do I'm going to I'm going to do what I can everything I can till the day I die. And he had that that imprinted in his mind and it created a rut in he he's not that's what he wants more than other things. So of course he could have taken it easy but his ruts to do things was bigger than his rut to take it easy right is a time for what for us to want and the more we want the more we could do. We should have a an elus of where we really create our our right relative for each of us that will help us grow in the best we can. I think they're like