Rabbi Dovid Bartfeld Shovavim Shiur - Torah Perspectives on aspiring for a son understanding Chazal

of paraz says when a woman is and she gives birth to a boy and if a woman is she's if the is then she's right so the question is well what does that mean right is that uh first of all there's a few questions what does mazria mean obviously would be the the question. And is this a schooloolie? Are we handling schoolers? There's a lot of schools for having boys. Uh you know uh the gar says uh um earlier on in says that somebody who puts his bed between and is right the school of for having boys is to put your bed between and d between north and south that the head of the bed should be north and the if the head of the bed is um is uh you know is is facing north and south head and and feet of the bed and that's uh that's supposed to be a cover for the that when a person is is uh you know is is doing the mitzvah it shouldn't be between uh is always the mar so it shouldn't be the bed shouldn't be facing um again right now now um [clears throat] grata just mom's uh I saw I was looking around and I saw quoted can't remember what safer I saw was in I was just doing a little a little research and I saw that somebody brought down that that having your bed between Sen and Dharm is actually uh some sort of physical thing that the ruach and somehow that that that that actually has a physical it's not a diver skoolie but a dar you know some sort of medical something. I'm not sure what that means but I thought that was very interesting. Um uh we have other scholas right it's brought down that if you do uhdah with wine it could be to right something that that a lot of people are mb on um and the question is is this are we handling here uh is this telling us is that Indian schooly or is this practical advice how do you how do we understand Gar it's another I would say related in okay says that somebody right is also right he's bringing over this it's talking about you know being [clears throat] someone being his wife and then over there says that what you and it says that a boy of a shin is also a bad thing and says what do you mean it says a boa has a bunch of scars says one's me and one's not and there's a very curious rashi there rashi says that um that uh when when somebody is bina when somebody is b twice so that uh you know um gives her and then she's maz and therefore uh with thear term that we started with which is that that's the that's you know that's the rashi over there. So again which really brings us back to what does that mean? So in order to understand that um I would I would do a little background I have well I would say I'm trying to think how many how much background do we really need um so like this the the first thing you know we could want it's a two-minute video it's fine it's the just interesting video anyway even if it's not uh the point of this is how ovulation works. Ovulation is very important um in pregnancy in general obviously um but if you understand how ovulation works and how fertilization works then we'll be able to have hopefully avana in the garra. >> This is a ripe egg or oam. >> Let's see >> inside the ovary are hundreds of thousands of follicles. Each follicle is a hollow ball of cells with an immature egg in the center. The typical 28-day menstrual cycle begins on the first day of menstrual bleeding. During the first seven days of the cycle, a few follicles begin to grow. At the same time, these maturing follicles secrete estrogen hormone into the bloodstream to prepare the lining of the uterus for pregnancy. Around day seven, all of the follicles stop growing and begin to degenerate except for one. This dominant follicle continues to grow and nourishes the developing egg inside it. Around day 12, the follicle secretes a large amount of estrogen into the bloodstream. When the estrogen reaches the hypothalammus and the pituitary gland in the brain, the anterior or front part of the pituitary gland releases a huge surge of luteinizing hormone into the bloodstream. Around day 14, luteinizing hormone causes the follicle to undergo a sudden growth spurt. Right before ovulation, the egg detaches from the inside of the follicle. The bulging follicle releases chemicals, causing one of the two fallopian tubes to move in closer and surround the follicle. The follicle swells until it bursts open, ejecting the egg and fluid from the follicle into the abdominal cavity. In response, the fimria, tiny projections at the end of the fallopian tube, sweep across the ovulation site and pick up the egg. Microscopic psyia on the fimria surface transport the egg to the entrance of the fallopian tube. Inside the walls of the fallopian tube, muscular contractions gently push the egg towards the uterus. After ovulation, the egg lives for 12 to 24 hours. So, it must be fertilized by a sperm from the male during this time for a woman to become pregnant. If it's not fertilized, the egg dissolves away and is shed along with the uterine lining during menration. First of all, taka f it's amazing thing how you know how these things taka work. Um but the key over here that the the you know the key nakuda that I would draw your attention to is the um ovulation is caused by a hormone called LH luteinizing hormone. when the body um receives a big dose of this LH luteinizing hormone. So that causes ovulation um it's a basically like a spike in in in this hormone. Um then that egg as it's travels through the fallopian tube supposed to be fertilized by zera from the man during a 12 to 24hour per window. That's the only time during the month that a woman could get pregnant. She cannot get pregnant before, she cannot get pregnant after. There's that little window of time, >> one day >> basically one day, right? Where a woman could get pregnant. And if and if there's no zera at that time, it's not physically possible to [clears throat] get pregnant. So it's, you know, people like wonder why does it take so many months and whatever, you know, there's and it's very significant in if a woman is anita during that time, she cannot get pregnant. If a woman ovulates before mikvah, it's not physically possible for her to get pregnant, right? That's what the gisha doctors call or uh or uh infertility, right? For a guy, it's not a problem. You're just together whenever the egg is there and sham sulfur. Yeah, it's a very big problem cuz how in the world are supposed to be together when she's an ether? So, that's a whole separate thing. I think we spoke about it last time when we spoke about infertility but um but um that's ovulation. Now let's do one on on uh fertilization which is I guess the next uh the next uh uh step after the egg is there. Right? So so um during the mitzvah the shas mitzvah the man releases zera. Right now, anybody care to take a guess how much? So, we're talking about how much liquid comes out. Talking about uh 2 mill like a very very little tiny amount of liquid, you know, uh um measurable liquid, we'll call it if you measure it. Um how much zera is in that liquid? Anybody have any clue? >> Thousands. >> Nope. >> Millions. >> Closer. hundreds of millions somewhere between uh two two to 300 million zera like a crazy crazy amount and this tiny little amount of liquid again the liquid itself is not the zera the liquid is really there to protect the zera to feed the zera the zera these little as we'll see the you know these little heads with tails that is the actual zera and it has this liquid to protect it and to feed it and as the zera goes in it's now supposed to go up and attach itself to that egg. So, this is what it looks like. >> About 300 million sperm enter the vagina. Soon afterward, millions of them will either flow out of the vagina or die in its acidic environment. However, many survive because of the protective elements provided in the fluid surrounding them. Next, the sperm must pass through the cervix, an opening into the [music] uterus. Usually it remains tightly closed, but here the cervix is open for a few [music] days while the woman ovulates. The sperm swim through the cervical mucus, which is thinned to a more watery [music] consistency for easier passage. Once inside the cervix, [music] the sperm continue swimming toward the uterus, though millions will [music] die trying to make it through the mucus. Some sperm remain behind, caught in the folds of the cervix, but they may later continue the [music] journey as a backup to the first group. Inside the uterus, muscular uterine contractions assist the sperm on their journey toward the egg. However, [music] resident cells from the woman's immune system, mistaking the sperm for foreign invaders, destroy thousands more. [music] Next, half the sperm head for the empty fallopian [music] tube, while the other half swim toward the tube containing the unfertilized egg. Now, only a few thousand remain. Inside the fallopian tube, tiny cilia push the egg toward the uterus. To continue, the sperm must surge against this motion to reach the egg. Some sperm get trapped in the psyia and die. During this part of the journey, chemicals in the reproductive tract [music] cause the membranes covering the heads of the sperm to change. As a result, [music] the sperm become hyperactive, swimming harder and faster toward their destination. At long last, the sperm reach the egg. Only a few dozen of the original 300 million sperm remain. The egg is covered with a layer of cells called the corona radiata. The sperm must push through this [music] layer to reach the outer layer of the egg, the zona palucida. When sperm reach the zona [music] palucida, they attach to specialized sperm receptors on the surface [bell] which triggers their acrosomes to release digestive enzymes. enabling the sperm to borrow into the layer. Inside the zone of palucida is a narrow fluid fil space [music] just outside the egg cell membrane. The first sperm to make contact [music] will fertilize the egg. After a perilous journey and against incredible odds, a single [music] sperm attaches to the egg cell membrane. Within a few minutes, their outer membranes fuse and the egg pulls [music] the sperm inside. This event causes changes in the egg membrane [music] that prevent other sperm from attaching to it. Next, [music] the egg releases chemicals that push other sperm away from the egg and create an impenetrable fertilization membrane. As the reaction [music] spreads outward, the zona palucida hardens, trapping any sperm unlucky enough to be caught inside. Outside [music] the egg, sperm are no longer able to attach to the zona palucida. Meanwhile, inside the egg, the tightly [music] packed male genetic material spreads out. A new membrane forms around the genetic [music] material, creating the male pr-ucleus. Inside the genetic material reforms into [music] 23 chromosomes. The female genetic material awakened by the fusion of the sperm with the egg finishes dividing resulting in the female pr-ucleus which also contains 23 chromosomes. [music] As the male and female pr-uclei form, spiderweblike threads called microtubules pull them toward each other. The two sets of chromosomes join together, completing the process of fertilization. At this moment, a unique genetic code arises, instantly determining gender, hair color, eye color, and hundreds of other characteristics. This new single cell, the zygote, is the beginning of a new human being. And now the cyia in the fallopian tube gently sweep the zygote toward [music] the uterus where he or she will implant in the rich uterine lining growing and [music] maturing for the next 9 months until ready for birth. >> Amazing. >> I thought you could dab in the first 40 days. >> That is a phenomenal question. That is a phenomenal question. Um >> unless the science is wrong. I don't know. So >> it could be the science could be >> no no I I want to address the nuda not not meaning don't have an answer to the question but I want to address this nakuda because it's really important for the question right so again then you know the the egg will travel in the fallopian tube and eventually you know somewhere between 8 n maybe even up to two weeks uh implant itself right in the in the rich uterine lining as we said and that's that's the beginning of a pregnancy right so um So again as we said and obviously the question is what does maza mean? Now you know it's important to to just be mocked that we don't have to this doesn't have to stem with a science the way we understand it that it it means absolutely nothing. Meaning what kazal tell us is fact and what science understands today is what science understands today. Living proof of that is the millet. Right? As telescopes have been getting better over the past decade, right? The renewal of the moon according to science was 29 and a half days and whatever, right? And they were off by by I don't know I don't know if it was a full half an hour or whatever it was. But Mameish over the last decade as the telescopes Mome got better and they're able to see the the moon and as it as it renews they're able to, you know, see more clearly. It's been getting closer and closer to the time that we know we know exactly when it is because right we have the instruction manuals of this the manufacturers uh uh right uh paper right so it's it's it's for us like we know the tire is always true and either we don't understand which is obviously possible or science yet hasn't uh hasn't caught up with with terra so the absolute truth is tire that's that's for sure but happens to be very gushmack when you know if we according to the science that we understand if we could shim that with meal it's definitely very so what does mazria mean so there's a there's a doctor called Dr. Shettles who >> Dr. Shtles. >> Shedtles. >> Shedtles who um who created uh who did a big study on this and he this was the you know his study was was came up with the following um you know uh the you know the following I guess uh um the the the uh facts we'll call it as again as as we understand them now. Now the what's cavea gender in science is the zera meaning the egg is not the egg is always the same egg doesn't change egg is not cave the the gender the gender is always going to be the zera there are two types of zera there's a zera with a y chromosome which creates a boy and there's a zera with the x chromosome which creates a girl and depending on which one of those zeras was mazria the egg fertilized the egg that's going to be the jud that seems to be the understanding today right so the Y chromosome creates a boy X chromosome creates a girl now after studying the zera for a long time Dr. shuttles real, you know, saw that the Y chromosome, the one that makes a boy, is faster, a little bit smaller than the X carrying zera, but it also is dies quicker, right? The X chro the X chromosome, which is the one that creates a girl, is slower but a little bit stronger. Could, you know, I think anybody heard the uh the muscle with the tortoise in the hair, right? Than the than the than the rabbit, right? the right slow and steady wins the race or whatever. So the right the the wise era the boys era is quicker swims much quicker but it's very shocking like the the the environment in ice maka is is is acidic or whatever again it's not good for zer kills there you know on impact a lot um again we said that zera comes in a liquid that protects it but ma um there are a lot of uh uh environmental hazards right for lack of better word that that that kills era as it tries to breach that >> that uh you know the egg um the girl Zera is much slower but we know tell us that Zar is good for about 3 days right the Z is good for for 3 days so now right we could make a so Dr. to China that if the woman will ovulate first and the egg is already there right so then you know doing the mitzvah right having relations during that time once the egg is already there's a much better chance of the boy's era which is much faster reaching the egg first it's just faster right if it's a race the boy is going to win right mash if the man is and the zer is just sitting there um the girls era is much much stronger. It'll last longer. So if the man is there's a much better chance of the of the man being of the of meaning the the the girl the X chromosome Zera sticking around for longer and if the iso then is um ovulates right and the egg comes later a day or two later right there's a bigger chance of the X chromosome carrying zera to fertilize the egg that is that is Dr. settles your sight, right? So, in other words, um how do you determine ovulation? There's three ways how to determine ovulation. First one is with ovulation sticks. That's the most common way how we could determine when ovulation is happening. And that is it's it's like a pregnancy test. It's a little uh urine stick, right? But instead of testing for the pregnancy hormone, which is hcg, it tests for a hormone called LH, right? Very good. Right? We saw we saw before that um that the LH is what causes ovulation. So that means that when a woman gets a positive LH, right? That means that there's a huge spike in LH, which you know LH is really what causes ovulation, which means that really she's only going to ovulate somewhere within the next 12 to 24 hours and somewhere within the next 12 and the egg's good for 12 to 24 hours. So the windows be about 2 days after that positive uh >> 12 to 24 hours. 12 to 24 hours. >> That's one day, >> right, for for her to ovulate. And then the egg itself is good for for >> 12 to 24 hours. Again, there's it's not like, you know, to the minute. You know, when you get a positive, you also don't know when you're catching it. You could catch the spike on the way up, you could catch the spike on the way down. I always tell women that if you're going to test for for uh ovulation, it's important to test at the same time every day, right? Because if you're going to test let's say one day in the morning and then in then the next day instead of doing in the morning she forgot she does it at night she could have totally missed it right she think she didn't ovulate that month or whatever it is but >> three times a day or something. >> We could also test three times a day and then you'll know if I care. And if you do three times a day there's a good chance you'll be able to see where the peak was because the darker the uh the second line is the better meaning the stronger the amount of LH in her system is. So, you'll actually be able to to see if you do three times a day. I mean, don't it's not necessary, but uh but you know, if you want to do that, they're, you know, they're not definitely not cheap. Um >> how much? >> I mean, I don't know. It's a box. Depends on the company. You could get probably a box of uh uh 12 or I'm trying to remember what they come in. A few dollars or whatever it is, but not crazy expensive either. Again, if you're testing every month, it adds up. Um, that being said, um, right, that's one way to test. Are you allowed >> this way if happened a few days after Nick would you have to push the off a little bit? What would you So, so meaning if you want to have a boy, that's a good question. You want to have a boy and you have and she didn't yet ovulate and you want to have a Davka have a boy, then then so first of all, you you don't have to tally push off liquor. you would have to you know push off the mitzvah which um is not push that would be a real sh that's something >> meaning so so so so let's say um I guess before we get to the next two right so the lice of that is says uh he says that meaning relations during or right after ovulation right will increase the chance of the boy because if the egg is already there right faster zera will reach Because ovulation though it could be another 20 hours until she actually >> exactly meaning again if she has a >> it might be early then >> it might be a little early but again it's not instant either doesn't get that instantly but meaning once you get a positive if she gets a positive in the morning so being together that night is you know this I guess as close as that night and the next night is as close as you're going to get. Um now what he's pointing out is that there's a good question what do you do if it's not positive and it's not positive it's only going to be positive another 2 days. So technically speaking again if if if you want to follow this method you would have to abstain till to till if you want to get the full uh the the are you allowed to push off uh you know bey during mikvah night or not which is you have to ask you have to ask um there you know there are a few different considerations I'll give you the considerations but again but should be considering first of all um is is uh obviously you know if there's a involved right if she's that she wants uh you know she wants to be together it's her during mikvah night is a mitzvah I know that means the husband is like to you know be fire and give her food and clothing to be pike on on on a day right on a on a on a mik of night and therefore um he has which if she's she can be meaning she also wants responsible that would be that would be okay. The other consideration is meaning if she does go to the mikvah and it's going to be too hard for him and might be a sh of that might also be a consideration which is something that we deal with sometimes let's say you know >> if if she goes to the mikvah so but they can't be together but she's now mutter right so is that going to cause him to you know if there's going to be you know whether it's venishuk or any everything else that's m really right will that cause him to be mighty is um because he can't because they can't be together which is interestingly enough like yeah let's say for right if he's right um it's always a sh if there mikvah night comes out during a veil right is she allowed to go or not so other things that are mut which is extremely convenient to be able to go to the mikvah so say that it would be mut for the other things that are mut as long as it's not going to cause any shilas and again the husband has to know himself and know we know where where he's only very very simple um so that that would be the shila um the other the that that so this is so so that's one one way how to test for ovulation I just want to point out there's another two ways how to test for ovulation one of them is called BBT basil body temperature that means that if a woman would take a good thermometer and one that's very accurate and test uh check her temperature every day of the month. She should be about 1° C or what's that 1.8 or something uh degrees Fahrenheit warmer during ovulation. So uh you know that that's another way how to do it. And the third way is cerv cervical mucus. As we saw in the in the video during ovulation, the cerv cervical mucus right the the which is the mucus that comes out from the cervix um gets thinner to allows it to go through. It's one of other new places of now after ovulation there's a hormone that the body produces called progesterone which makes the mucus thicken sealing the cervix that care that nothing else should come in. You know, once the woman is pregnant, right, the the body, right, is closing it off. Doesn't it's amazing. It's it's it's mom is amazing. So during that those two days specifically, the mucus is much runnier. And there are women that are very in touch with themselves and they could literally, you know, they they they they do it with their fingers and they could tell you right away when they're ovulating. And then other women don't. And it's not, you know, yesh, it's okay. But there are three different ways how to tell if a woman is ovulating. you know that a woman can't tell if she's ovulating or not. And again, Dr. Shettles came out with that um relations during uh right after ovulation um is much more shy, it's much more likely to have a boy. So now we have one shot in meaning if the is means if she if she gives if she ovulates first right and then he and then he's right. So then it's it's much more likely to have a because again the the boy sperm is quicker. That's one mahalak. There is another mahalak that stems also with with the gumar and in anduven and in rash that connects the two that we said vashina right that that when a person's bash makes the woman be gives her and makes her be mazri and because of that so that sounds like is the ovulation but something more to what's called a climax right so the the the body if a woman will climax. So what the body does is it produces a certain um uh substance. The body releases some sort of a uh substance or chemical which actually uh lowers the acidity by some. It's an amazing thing. That is an amazing thing and it kind of balances the pH by some making it much more uh more much less damaging to Zara. So, so when you have a a race, right, and one Z is quicker, but it's it's die quicker, right? If the area over there is like very aggressive, right, it's going to it's going to kill it's going to kill the that zera, right? When you have zera that is uh less uh if you have an environment that is much less uh acidic, right? That's much less uh uh you know, hazardous to the zera. So right away that'll allow the zer to go quicker. So um this m stems with and yanarashi um also it says right um is is is again that's something that that gives a woman hana right which again would allow her to um to be mazria first and then he's mazria. So that that kind of g [snorts] you know allows this uh this uh environment to become more friendly to zer which will allow the quicker zer to be maza. So we have two which is a beautiful uh beautiful thing again doesn't have to but it's nice when it does which is right is now there is one I guess uh you know grain of salt just for lack of thing we're handling 300 million zer over here right so again you want to call it tweaking the odds, you know, obviously also says and there's a a lot of other things that tell us to be um which of course are says right you need both you need and you need but there's also this of uh of today you know scientifically very much shak to tweak the odds um and again very fascinating very fascinating. Um and then I guess the only thing that we're left with is your question which is really meaning that we do find kazal tell us that up to 40 days right uh uh you know you can you can dav right is is fair I mean I don't know I don't know I don't know what that means with just yeah this malik It's very possible that uh in another 15 years from now they'll come up with a whole new malik and and how things work like as as the you know the telescopes are getting better and the microscopes are also getting better. It's unbelievable what you can see. By the way, um uh you know there there's a there's a there's a doctor now in in um that has uh uh microscope that could see Zara at at um I think 6,000 micro 6,000 uh magnification. um like insane magnification and he's able to to help like couples that the the husband for whatever reason doesn't have any zera um you know they're able to take a sample of liquid right that comes out and find like you know sometimes again there's three we have we have 300 million it's not a big deal to find zero right but if you have one or two right you need you need a huge uh you know uh uh magnifying you know microscope and they're able to find, you know, and again, even in the ones that they find, they'll find like, you know, 2, three, 5, 10, whatever it is, they have such big magnification that they could choose the one that looks the healthiest and use that for IVF where they're going to join it with the egg, you know, in vitri, obviously, outside the woman, and then return just the embryo inside. Um there's one last uh uh shila that I definitely would like to address and that is um so hi that we saw that scientifically it is possible to um what determine scientifically what determines the gender is the zera um first of all and second of all when you see a fertilized egg right they're [clears throat] able to see by the chromosomes they're able to see if it's a you know what it is is it boy or a girl right away in a fertilized egg. You could see that. So the question is, let's say if a family has uh a bunch of a bunch of girls and they want to be mammas perivia, right? Are they allowed to do uh IVF in order to have a boy? Is that enough? >> How would IVF help the odds of having a boy? >> So what is IVF? So IVF is basically um uh you take uh the egg out from the lady, you take zera from the man, you put them together in uh you know lab and the zera will will uh what's it called? will um fertilize the egg. They keep it in an incubator for x amount of time and then they'll put it back inside the the woman and as a that the boys only decided 40 days later. It's not decided at the time of fertilization. >> That is according to but as mentioned you could tell aside from the zera aside from the zera and aside from the actual embryo they could tell just by looking at it by looking at the chromosomes they could tell if it's a boy or a girl. >> So um so is it is it is that meaning let's a couple doesn't have uh children at all. So that we spoke about last year already, right? That uh you know again that there were dilemma out there that were very against IVF. Um the general [clears throat] consensus of the pisk nowadays is that Ivyat is is mut um sai mitad the really tunan and there's the hashkafic if you will of you know playing you know playing too much with uh things that ought not to be meddled with for lack of better uh you know saying which again there are those that say that not not you know that you're allowed to do that which is you know for for whoever goes that thing but I think the fight can say that And then the the second thing was that a lot of uh stories that happened years ago with doctors using their own zer and all these crazy things that that made it you know very scary like you know you're having a child they think it's your child and it's not your child it's not very scary nowadays uh first of all there's very strict hashkah also there's a meritus that didn't exist back in the day right uh that you could do a DNA testing like no doctor's stupid enough now like you know back in the day they didn't have like the capab capabilities of checking after the fact and all these things and you know they just wanted to to show that they're great and that they're meaning that their numbers are very good. Nowadays, we know the numbers. Everybody knows it works and nobody's trying to prove anything anymore. And Mla the, you know, the it's more we're more nervous of a mistake happening than anything else. And the hospitals also are nervous. So they double check, they triple check. There's so many different protocols that um that on its own is is God's good. You know, putka together with that and you know, it's really there's again say with for sure there's absolutely no reason why you can't do it. When you say make sound like it's a suffic but another thing to make it sound like it's not a suffic fertilizes it. So what's the way it sounds like that's other words the suffic was in a normal pastor you don't know whether it's going to reach it it's but here you're putting it together so shouldn't it be a vadai child coming out of it >> it I mean it's definitely going to be a vadi embryo if it takes but then you have to return that embryo and have it implant itself in the woman. So, you know, you could you could uh they'll give her a couple extra hormones and they'll they'll try to create the condition. >> What could happen? >> It'll just won't stick to the won't stick to the lining. >> Won't stick to the line. >> Yeah. Unfortunately, there's couples that have gone through 20, 30, 40 cycles of IVF and each one is >> won't stick to the line. >> Tens of thousands of >> What does that depend on? What What makes it stick to the line? >> They don't know. There's no science in it. >> I'm sure there's a lot of science. You know, different doctors try different things. You know, it either works or it doesn't work. >> U sometimes it it'll start and then it'll fall apart. You know, again, there's so many it's it's a comp, you know, it's a complicated thing. Every step of the way is complicated. Even with all the amazing advancements in science, we're still wiser. We're still we're still we're still not holding. Um now what's interesting is um oh so lai said the I mean I was from my vit that it would be mut for somebody to do IVF that that again just wants not >> well somebody just wants even if they just want again that it's it's not it's not there's no isser if you hold that there's no isser involved and it's m to do IVF so if you have the money and you want to do it you know for just to you know choose the gender of your child you know not not a problem not a problem >> is not an issue but >> oh so IVF is not an issue there's a that says as we spoke about last year it's not because the key word there is being >> and that it's being used not it's question is how to get it there's a there's a This is all last year's thing that reminds you're not allowed to use your hands, right? That's separate. Even if it's not a vital, you're not allowed to use your hands. So the way again the way nowadays they do it is what they call a a uh sterile condom which is like not not it's like a little sleeve that's put on the aver and tash was just done with that sleeve. Um this is this is not what they sell in the stores. The stores have spermicides and all other things that are terrible for Zara. something that you get in a in a fertility clinic and uh and with that meaning the zera goes in there derash which is completely mud and then through that they use that zera which is again it's not laba otherwise it would be I mean a condom is is user gummer in general over here it's not it's being mish you're taking that either for e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e ei ei ei ei ei ei ei ei ei ei ether to do aika meaning to check if there's an issue with this mut or to use it for actual uh for actual uh IVF um even just for a general which is again I thought it was a pretty big we'll call it at least I was that and uh yeah for coming is how it can