Rabbi Ari Levitan Shovavim Shiur Enhancing Our Marriages Through Kedusha at Scheiner's Shul

Um, not going to lie, Rabbi Hamburger, first of all, you got to give a little shout out to Rabbi Hamburger for uh [applause] for for spearheading this and uh all of his helpers who want to who wish to remain anonymous who helped him um gather and unite everybody here for this um what I believe is a special special event in the sense that people come mad on the mat shabas on the rainy mat shabas most of us don't have off uh at nights very often and the fact that we come out to hear some words of tyra to hopefully be a little inspired hopefully be motivated to become even just a little bit better is in my mind something very very special so kudos to everybody who came out kudos to your wives for letting you out. Um, and hopefully something promising uh will emerge and will come out of this whole project. [snorts] Um, not going to lie, I was a little bit say I don't like to use this word, but I was a little bit overwhelmed and caught by surprise when Rabbi Hamburger sent me the flyer tonight. And on the topic of the flyer, it says something about bringing kaduca into your marriage or something like that. Now, I guess typically I'm a little uh intimidated by the word kadusha. People I think perhaps misuse it, misunderstand it, myself included. I mean, I heard of recently there was a group of people in a certain out of town city who decided in their pursuit of Kadusha, they brought in Makobo and there were 10 grown men standing outside in somebody's backyard in about a foot and a half of snow at 5° and they were performing what we what is referred to and known as Gilgul Shell. where basically these men literally droed and were rolling around naked in the snow to inflict pain upon themselves for kaparus. Now 200 some years ago super holy Jews would do something like that. That would be kaduca part of a an organized system. But you know for a regular guy to do that to me that seems a little bit bizarre and extreme but to each their own. But that is how many people define kaduca. So we'll see exactly hopefully by the end that maybe that's not the case. But I just want to start with saying something which is a theory of mine. Um, I don't know if [snorts] I think that the the principles of it are true, but the application uh maybe can be contested and I'm open to listening to any constructive criticism of this uh theory of mine that may exist. Last week, somebody was in my house and he asked me the following question. You know, one of the greatest mysteries of Kali Israel, one of the greatest mysteries of our history is the meaning we began our history began with 12. There were 12 tribes and we came into Israel pretty much with 12vat and then over time 10 of them were dispersed 10 of them wandered off 10 of them were never heard from [snorts] again. The clal that we see today are pretty much the remnants of two of the 10 Yehuda and Binyam. And obviously we have some shed levy involved sprinkled em it and known as a cur. And many many people have struggled have investigated have even searched to try and find the remaining 10 that belong to us that are our brothers that are our sisters. Where are they? Where did they go? The current Philadelphia receiver of Som Kamki when he was years ago in in Lakewood, the Lakewood MK from Nvakto actually put together a search team. This is before the internet. This was before a China and these guys were went on a mission to try and find the 10. the 10 lost tribes is something which mystifies many many many people. I'm not here to clarify that. I'm not here to tell you where I think they are or what they are cuz I have no clue. But the question that this fellow asked me was the following question which I thought was interesting. He says I don't understand. He says, "Every once in a while, we'll hear about a a tribe somewhere deep in Africa in an African jungle. And we'll hear that one of their customs is that once a week they go to one of their huts, a designated hut, and they have a scroll and they read from the scroll once a week. And everybody gets excited. Oh, maybe this is one of the why cuz once a week they go into a into a house, a h and they read something that doesn't even look like the secretary that we have, but they read once a week and everyone gets excited. Then there's another couple years later we hear of a group, a city, a community deep in Asia [clears throat] that once a year they take something which is look like a citrus fruit and everyone walks around they pass around everybody holds it and everyone's like, "Oh, maybe this is them. Maybe this is them." And over the years there have been discoveries of certain tribes or certain groups or certain communities or certain areas where this new group emerges never before heard of or seen of and some of their practices are somewhat bizarre and some of them are similar to ours and everybody gets all upset. Oh, maybe we found maybe we found. So his question to me was, how did they get so lost? How did they wander off so far? You would think, I would think, we would think [snorts] that there would be more similarities. One guy has to be able to do a shock with one of these guys. We would think that maybe they're getting matzas from the Ukraine now because they're cheaper also. I mean, there's absolutely no connection, absolutely no correspondence, absolutely nothing. A rare incident, a rare custom that is remotely similar to what we do when we get excited. How is it possible that they lost the bulk of Yiddish? How is it possible that they're so lost and they are literally unrecognizable? They look nothing like the way we look. Their customs, their practices, their minimum, their mit, the way they nothing. How did they get so lost? How are they unrecognizable? That was a question that the fellow asked me. And I said, I'll be honest, I never really thought about it. I said, but off the cuff, I'll give you my suggestion why I think it happened. Now, one of the wise people, irreligious, irreligious people, one of the founders of the state of Israel said made the following statement. A nation with no past is a nation with no future, which I think is very wise and very very relevant. The world didn't start from me and the world didn't start from you. There's history and then there's a future and it has to be looked at through the prism of one long continuous chain. So a lot of times we have to study history a little bit big parts of history to perhaps get a little bit of an insight. So now let's take a quick overview of Jewish history. Jewish history in a nutshell. Jews leave mit wander in the midbar 40 years end up going into a couple hundred years later they decide to build the bas mikdash they build a magnificent builds a magnificent bas mikdash and they're there and then we all know there's a there's a destruction is exiled for 70 years 70 years then they come back back to us back to the mikdash but things are nowhere near the same that they were 70 years before nothing the Mishna tells us the miracles the daily miracles that occurred in the first B of mikdash were no longer existent the didn't exist in the second B mikdash it almost appears it almost seems and writes this in Yaris Dash and Rebak of Kamitki has this is one of his thesises almost that they suggest and they they want to say the following they want to say that after the destruction of the first B after the Jews were exiled from Yushim and they went to Iraq Bavl is Iraq in case anybody didn't know that they went to BL they went to Iraq and they were there for 70 years the state of Kali Israel in Iraq in Bville was horrific. 70 years and the entire Judaism was pretty much dis just decimated. There was nothing left. They married non-Jewish women. Mitzvah gone. 70 years. That's all. We [clears throat] were here a couple thousand years. We're still marrying Jewish girls. We're still keeping chabas. We're still learning Tyra. What's going on? What's going on? They couldn't last and we're lasting wanted to by design. He sent the nation wandering into exile into gulas. And his message, [clears throat] the sublime message of this gullis was look at you. You will not survive. You're not going to survive. You will become assimilated within a few years and then you're going to come back to the second B mikdash which they seem to have known was not meant to last. The second B mikdash was not meant to be permanent. The second B of Mikdus was merely training camp for the Jews to go out into Gulf. That's what it was. What was this training camp? What was this training camp about? This training camp was about focused primarily on one thing and one thing only. Number one, it was to take whatever existed that was yet to be written down and give the strength, the power to the to commit it to paper, to write down the Mishnites, to write down the gim. Additionally, so many of the gizer that we have, whether it's yay or oil from non-Jews or bread from non-Jews, so many of the gazeras that existed that exist today were formulated during the [clears throat] period of the second. Why says to protect us to protect us in our life in gul? Because if you think about it said, you think about what shabas looked like in the days of Mosher Rabenu. Okay, Shabas during the days of Mishab, there was no MT. Okay, so a guy can get on his horse. That was his form of transportation. Nothing wrong with riding a horse in as long as it wasn't Rashin. Okay. Guy can get on his horse. He can go to the store. The guy can keep the store open. He keep the store open. Take out his money and buy a product. The is of riding a horse on Shabas is money. Maybe you're going to write. So the shabas of mobenu looked very different than completely different says that when he gave us the he said here's the if you keep it the way it is the way we're supposed to keep it nobody will have to add anything you will not need any precautions you will not need any gurv >> [clears throat] >> All the precautions and all the guidelines and all the gdarum and the yogim that were implemented were because we were weak. We weren't committed. We weren't doing what we were supposed to do. So slowly with time mah and this gazer and that gazer says when the existed in the second B mikdash the goal the mission the purpose of second B mikdash was to prepare us for go how by implementing and by giving us it couldn't be that the only way the terra would be disseminated The only way the Torah will be transmitted is from father to son because there were a lot of people who weren't capable of it. So what did they do? They wrote it down. It's like this other people can teach and people can learn by themselves and people won't forget. But that was the tas. So we have to understand and we have to appreciate a little bit. Take a look for instance in Mit in Mit the Jews call Israel. They were worshiping worshiping idols in Mitran. They did not do in mit for hundreds of years. And yet for some reason for whatever reason they were worthy and they were and they merited being taken out of mine. Doesn't sound like they were behaving says the cloud Israel's survival in gull does not depend on the mitzv the primary mitzvah of the are not necessarily what's going to keep us and help us survive in g what helps the nation of Israel survive gull is gda And he says they spoke the Hebrew language. They were there for hundreds of years. They spoke Hebrew. They spoke. They kept the Jewish names. They kept the Jewish clothing. Their Jewish identity. Think for a second. Yamama. Yam is a Yam you're not going to find talking about a yamaka. [clears throat] A yamaka gives us our identity. A yarmaka helps us identify ourselves, who we are, what we belong to, who we're connected to in gulas. When we're surrounded by enemies, spiritual, physical enemies, the only way that we as a nation will survive is by the and the is by watching the smaller things, by protecting the amitz. That is how and when we as a nation will survive. And I think the reason for this is twofold. Number one, it will ensure that the mitzvah themselves will survive. And number two, it essentially me watching, guarding, protecting mitzvah, making sure that I don't even step on them a little bit. What that does is that connects me to my neighbor, that connects me to my friend, that connects me to my nation. Because we as a nation have a responsibility to protect the not just to follow the to protect. How do we protect? By making sure no one tramples on it. By making sure that it remains in its purest form. would often debate secular priests and and one of the that he was debating asked him the following question. He said, "I don't understand." He says, "How could you tell me that? How could you tell me that the raons are more stringent and more than their things that are written in the Torah came are divine. They came from heaven and are just human being. How could it be? So just told him he says let me ask you a question. He says you work for the king. You are one of the king's emissaries. You're one of the king's representatives. you have this local, we'll call it palace. Was it a palace? Whatever it was, he says, "If I'm standing right here in front of you, and you tell me, Rabbi Agashitz, get out of here, and I defy you, you have the right to take out a gun and shoot me in the head. You could you could shoot me, but the king won't be happy with you." Why? cuz you don't want a civilization where one guy steps a little out of line and you're going to authorize person to get shot. That's you can't have a civilization like that. Civilization can't function like that. However, if you have a guard who's stationed by the entrance of your house and the guard says, "Do not enter." Somebody walks up, a stranger walks up and the guard says, "Hey, where you going?" And the guy ignores him, says, "Hey, where you going?" Guy keeps him, "Hey." Then the guard pulls out his gun and shoots him. Okay? Why? Cuz that's his job. His job is to watch. His job is to protect. His job is to ensure the safety of the people living inside the palace. The mitzvah you're right at but the purpose of the was to ensure the survival of mitzvah. If a anyone in this room ever doubts the validity the importance of even one gazer. All we have to do is look at the sash. They're gone. They disappeared. You know why they disappeared? Because they left Klali Israel after the destruction of the first B mdash. They never came back. They never were part of the reset of Kalisra. They never had Mishna. They never had Gimar. They never had the gizeras that were implemented to ensure and to protect the tayag mitzvah. All they had was mitzvah. All they had was don't light a fire on shabas. They didn't have mah. They're conducting themselves like regular on shabas like back in the days of Rabenu. Is it a wonder that Shabas doesn't exist anymore? everything they're gone. If we ever need proof, living proof of the importance of every whatever it is, whether it's whether it's stop for a second and think this is what is going to ensure that the will be transmitted forever. Because should be screaming at us. Look what happens when we have no dab. Look what happens when we have no precautions. Look what happens. [cough] We have nothing protecting. One of the most fascinating things that I ever saw was written in Hik's who wrote the following. There are many many today in the cash field in the cash industry. So with the computers and with technology, it's possible for a rabbi, a Jew to be sitting in his office in Manhattan or even in his house in Muny and takes out his phone and he can turn on an oven in a bakery in Pennsylvania or in a factory in China. You can turn it on. We want to make sure certain things are bish not. We want Jews cooking. So we got a Jew turns on the fire for us. I don't know if there you got a he goes to a restaurant. There are two things of cooking. Okay. Just turning on the fire and then putting the actual food on the fire are more m than us. Some of them it's far different. Some when they go to a restaurant, they'll go to the back to the kitchen if they order a steak and ask the guy if I can put the steak onto the fire. Cuz for them it's not enough for yet to turn on the fire and it's not enough even for yet to just put on the meat. The has to put on the fire and has to put on the thing right. So a lot of most most of is not most of Allah is on the of the ra that if a Jew puts on the fire it's okay. So there was you know there's a lot of ways and a lot of workarounds to have bish without so there was a yid aid who ran a kas agency and he went to and he went he was discussing some of the new contemporary shilas and ways how we can workarounds if I may of vish and he said what happens if a does this is this good and he asked him this this question he asked him this question he asked him that And at one point Alman who was a very very refined person very refined always smiling always happy very softspoken at one point takes this man's hand and he says I want to tell you something that's been sitting on my heart for a long time so many people are concerned with this skyrocketing intermarriage rate of America why are we losing so many of our brothers Why are so many of our sisters marrying out of the faith? Everyone's wondering. This is our biggest problem today. Intermarriage. We're losing Jews souls. So says, "You want to ask me what I think?" He says because the implemented pass for a reason to draw a line of division between us and the nations also he says if we're going to be lax even in following the of he says in the world there's going to be a little bit of a weakness in this area that division that line of defense will be weakened and thinned and those who are less affiliated or are completely unaffiliated won't feel that distance anymore. So we have to ensure by we [snorts] following by us following these which are meant to draw the lines we're here they're there perhaps even the less affiliated will sense something in the air of this division which keeps Kalis intact has kept Kalisra intact and which will continue to keep colle intact. This is very moving to me. It was very powerful and last year I was in a certain rub's house here in Muny and I said this over to him and he's like really that's what it says. I said yeah. He says can you show it to me? I said sure. I said do you have the ones? I said, "Sure right there. Take you off the shelf." I open it up, start looking. I did. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I said it over 25 times in my life. I said, "Something's up." I went home. I took out my helmet and that's it. I go back to this house and I show him in the safe. I was like, "Here it is." They took it out. I said, "Apparently. Apparently they took it out two years ago from son of real still alive wasn't like and I went over to him and I said I said did they take this out of your father's safer for a reason he said yeah he said people thought that it was a little too harsh people thought this wasn't really his style some of The family members doubted whether he said it, whether the guy understood it properly. So they took it out. But whether he said it, whether he didn't say it, there's one guy who's still alive who swear that told it to him. The fact is the idea I think is tremendous. And that is that our survival in gulas. We as a nation will only survive. Will only survive. How? by ensuring, by protecting, by guarding, by watching. We don't just have a responsibility to do the mitzvah. We have a responsibility to protect and to guard and to safeguard this tyrant. There was a Yid who lived in Ottawa in Canada. His name was Ramosa Krauss. He was a Holocaust survivor. His cousin Krauss is by the way he went. That's how he was referred to. Never had any children. He was nefar about two years ago. But I once heard him say the following story. He was a little kid. He was 11 years old. And he lived in the city of Minkat. And in Minkat, the Reva, the city, the Reb, the Mink Reb was the very very famous and well-known Minat of Mink. [clears throat] And this was in the beginning of the war. And [clears throat] one day, one Shabas, one Shabas, somebody comes running into the Maser's house, Shabas morning in the middle of a suda, and he tells him, "Rebul," that was the Reb's son-in-law. Rabul was taken by the Germans. He's on a train on the outskirts of Minkach together with thousands of other Jews. So the Reb panics, his son-in-law was taken by the Nazis. So he tells this bacle, he says, "But a man gets to the goes to this draw, takes out couple hundred cash, gives it to the boy." The boy's like, "What? Take it and go down the block." There's the binder of the city. The guy who would bind the books. Tell him gave him a safer. Tell him to rip the safer open, rebind it, and slide the cash into the swarm. Slide the cash into this farm. So on Shabas and going run to the train and give it to him. So this bac runs burst into this binder Shabas meal. The guy sitting there with his family. He tells him the Reb said that you should take this book, you should rebind it and take this money and put it in. So what the rabbis said? Okay. Takes off his takes off his becker. He goes into the side room. He starts doing all his things. And 5 minutes later comes and gives the bacle this little with money sliding. This bacle this Misha I'm sorry. This Misha Krauss runs to the outskirts and he sees a train with many many many many cars attached and he starts walking alongside the train. The windows were open. The train was stationary. Train was packed with Jews, packed with the men, women, children, people screaming, people crying. How am I going to find? So he's screaming rabb finally after walking bunch of cars comes to the window and the kid comes he g takes the toll he says gave it to him tells him yeah there's there's money inside okay the kid was traumatized he knew that every single person on this train his end was near. Their end was near and he's looking he's looking at the faces and he's heartbroken and he says to how much kdes Hashem does God need? Does he need all this? Does he need every single person in this train to die for keshm? How much keshm does he need? And looks at it and he says this is not the real keshm this is not the real kes. [clears throat] These people are being forced myself included. He says you know what the real keshm is? The real keshm is when you moass survives this war and you end up in America or you end up in Canada and you still put on fill and you still keep kosher and you still keep shabas. That's kash that's going to be the real kesh this very likely he knew but the ram writes any person who does a mitzvah not for the sake of honor not because he's afraid or he refrains from doing an aa simply for one thing in the world because this is Hashem's will just as y refrained from doing the ver with as rabid says keshm doesn't need to be in a public setting means when you walk into your house and you close the door behind you it's now a keshm zone when you close that bedroom door that's a kesh zone Because anytime a person does or does not do something even in the privacy of his own home for one reason and for one reason only madm there's your kadoo there is your kadush my wife's a kala teacher and I helped her a little [clears throat] bit with her curriculum and I suggested to her that in her final class her final message to the girls should be the following. I typically don't like to share personal stories, but I think it's worthwhile in this case. Years ago, I don't remember if it was a to be honest, I forgot the story. She had reminded me about it recently, and I told her, "This is this should be your final message for your college in your class." Years ago, I don't remember if it was a birthday. I don't remember if it was an anniversary. My wife and I decided we're going to go to the city. We're going to go out for a dinner and we're going to get a hotel room in the city. We're going to have a night just me and my wife. We got a babysitter. Welldeserved night. We go to the restaurant. Very enjoyable. We come to the hotel. [clears throat] We check in. We're settling. It'll be a little carry-on bag. And my wife says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I'm sitting in the little room there and my wife walks into the bathroom and about 2 minutes later I hear her shrieking from the bathroom. It's like I'm like, "You okay?" She comes out. She's crying and she's like, "I just got my period. >> I just got my period. She was devastated. I wasn't too happy. And I was thinking like, how do I comfort her? What do I say? It stinks. Yeah, it stinks to say the least. I said, first of all, I said I said, "Let's come here. come to the window, please. I opened up the window. Manhattan and I pointed outside and I said, I said, "Look at all these tall buildings in Manhattan." I said, "There are hundreds of thousands of people living in these buildings. Some of them Jewish, some of them not Jewish." I said, "I promise you, I don't believe that there's anybody in any of these buildings that is about to make the kdish hashem that me and you are about to make tonight." In that room, nobody would have known anything. Nobody would have known a thing. I ended up sleeping on the floor on the carpet of that hotel room. There was one little bed. I spent that night on the carpet, but I walked out of there with such a new appreciation. I knew that we made a huge kash. Nobody would have known. No one would have saw. This wasn't a public thing. And I felt good because I know I knew that I just made a kashm of the one of the greatest magnitudes that I could have made. Somebody I know once told me that as a bucker came from he comes from a good family and he had some friends with a little wild. He was friends with them and sometimes he would join them on their escapades sometimes. He said one night they decided they're going to some club and he decided he's not going. So they pull into the parking lot of the club and he's like, "Guys, you could go in. I'm staying in the car." Like, "Come on, you got to come. What's good? I'm staying in the car." And there was another guy that was there also. Also came from a good family. And he told the other guys in the car, he goes, "You guys go in. I'm staying back with him. I'm going [clears throat] to keep him company." Still like, "Oh, you're killing the chill. I don't want to leave him here by himself. So the other three guys went into the club and this guy looks at this person that I know. I don't know who the other guy looks at me. He says to him the following. I promise you that every single one of those guys who just went into that club will remember the fact that you did not go into the club more than the fact had you gone into the club. this they'll remember forever that they'll forget in a week. I can say the same thing about that story. I don't know what would have happened. But I know one thing. The fact that my wife and I were able to say, you know what, I raised in this hashem. This is something which 20ome years later I'm still proud of. That's the kadusha right there. So the next time we have any Shiloh whether it's in whether it's in Shabas and it seems small and it seems insignificant and it may even seem bizarre. It may seem like it's an overreach. It may seem like what are they talking about if I hand my wife a bottle of soda when she no two things. This is what keeps us as a nation. If you need proof, look at the and also these little things that we do or do not do. We don't need public demonstrations. We don't need public acts to glorify name to create. every little act that we do or do not do because this is what we're supposed to do. That's my message to you. The messages, the little things are part of our job to ensure that this Tyra will survive, that this Tyra will exist for your children, that this Tyra will be valuable to the next generation. We could do every single mitzvah, but if we're not going to do the little things that are there to ensure to protect to defend them from any outside attacks. So then we are essentially jeopardizing the survival of as the says is what keeps us as a nation in gull. It's not only the mitzvah. It's more important for the survival of our nation in gul [clears throat] to in to protect to guard to ensure that the t remains full intact and in its purest of forms. My to everybody is to understand to value to appreciate nothing is too small to make a big kid. There is nothing too nothing too small to make a big. So go out there, live your lives, conduct your businesses, be family men, and always remember the little things are the things that are going to make the big kids. And the little things are the things that are going to ensure that our Tyra survives and will be around for our children and our grandchildren.