Likutei Moharan Shiur in Preparation for Elul and Rosh Hashanah with Rav Nachman Fried

But there's a lot here that a person can take out on how to do chuva and what what is chuva? How do you understand before you before you go into the rabbis? What do you understand about chuva? What's chuva? What does the word chuva mean? What's the word chuva? Chuva answer is an answer. And what's the real root of the word chuva of the word chuva shove or shove to return? To return to return to what? What? Where did I leave from? Where did I leave from that I have to return? Yeah. The question means I'm returned. Where am I returning to? That means I had to have a point that I was I left and now I'm coming back. So the issue is like this before a person is born this is what the is going to go and explain. So let's talk about it outside and then we'll see the words inside that a person is born he's an what happens before the person is born before the person is born he's one with hashem right and then he comes into this world and he's separated comes into a goof what's your name >> nice to meet you so they you have an abdom and look at the run beforehand. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Good. Hold it. >> So, we're talking to advance, not to be listening. Okay. So, >> so that means that the endless we're coming from the place of oneness with Hashem >> and when we come into this world the coming to this world is a separation from the so returning means to return to the that we were one with Hashem. We're all one with Hashem. So what happens though as we go into this world we come in as a baby into this world and then we get conditioned what's our conditioning so of course our parents condition us the yeshivas condition us but really the conditioning is that we create an identity a personality become we become something right that something that we become is as a part of it that is a part most of it is being conditioned by the world. So that and that conditioning of the world is really a separation from my even though so we have to that give us the boundaries that the zor is called the mitz not rules and regulations but they are the 10 613 advice what's the advice that if I stay with these 613 248 I say and I say if I stay within these boundaries then even though I'm conditioned with a separation from self which self we're calling still I will still be connected to in this world so when a person violates one of these >> basically become walking. >> Right. Right. The mit is that the nish in a body is already a separation that's saying the second you come into the world. So the tells us that if a person doesn't for so we started saying what happens when a person violates one of the So what what it's what happens is he's going out of the boundary. He's going out of the boundary of the ani his from his self from his so he's separating it's not I I I according to the 613 mitzvah are 613. So the punishment is not we all think okay if I do a mitzvah I'm going to get and if I do an I'm going to get punished on a you're going to get punished but the punishment is that you're separated from God that's the punishment so even the harshest punishment is mis is mis misa means complete separation that means I'm separating in a way it's if it's mis with if it's you know a sadic dies it's not called dies it's called his stalcus. What does astalcus mean? His nish goes up and connects with his nish. It's it's nostalic. It goes up. Misa means death which is separation. Right? So the vi when we violate the mit of the we are separating ourselves from who? From ourself. Because where is hashem? Where is hashem? Hem is here. is there. Hem is truly everywhere. Real really where is the most place for me to connect Hashem inside everything I go to it's all is everywhere but everything that I'm going through in life is my job to reveal the how with what lenses what's my binoculars how am I able to see that that Hashem is here is there is truly everywhere that's in me that's what's seeing. So when I see the it's connecting back to myself to my real self which is so that means that whoever we become right I'm 56 years old I don't know how old you are whoever we become really is a lavush it's a masquerade it's a costume to real self which is me which is the which is which is And how what happens? We get something called ego. >> Ego what does ego mean? Ego means by the way I heard a good ego is the edge god out. Ego is pushing away and creating my new identity of self which is not really self but that's who I want to be presented as. That's who I want people to recognize me as. And that's becomes my identity. And that ego is called let's call it in the Reb calls it something called that's called my ego. What happens with an ego? And everybody's a different ego. Ego is really a protection of you not to see who I really am. I have weaknesses, vulnerabilities, and I have strengths. And when you want to touch my vulnerability, you want to touch my weakness. I protect my weakness with something called ego. What am I doing? I'm taking strength from somewhere else to cover up the weakness so that you can't hurt me with my weakness. If you look at if you think about it, this is this is what happens to us at all times. If somebody each person has different that touches him but let's talk about if somebody puts you down someone's you he humiliates you and you and and you know he's touching he's touching the place where you tak feel vulnerable and you tak feel humiliated you'll do anything to kill to protect what do you mean you don't have the right to put to touch me and you're going to defend yourself with 100 different defenses and find different reasons why it's not true. You're defending yourself. So ego the emis is really nothing. It's it's but but we all we all have it. And the says that and you need it. You have to have right. You have to have something because a person with zero ego can't be a person. He has to have some kind of an identity. But really my what the tas of what our avoid our our mission in this world is to reveal my my godliness my spirituality my real me through goes through many manyas of different ways but he's always touching ego in this he's calling it so let's just understand there's what is covenant what is ego is called is called eagle. What's that's the real me is something that is the godliness I'm looking to give to toem. which is a >> which is >> it's we're going to talk about it in a second. How does how does one get to that but first let's define ego and and and and anything that's anything that's spiritual is called. So now why does a person want it's really coming from the place of because the whole Bria was created the whole reason for creation was created the Bria that we for his honor where he's hid and we have to go reveal him and every time we reveal him we're bringing cover to expl that we get we'll get lost there. That's very different. But the whole purpose of creation was created for the cover of Hashem. And since we are all so we have the desire in us to bring cover to but because we go out of the boundaries and we violate the mitz at some point here and at some point there and at some point there. So now we're taking that real source of what we're looking for which is and we're changing it in and we changed it into so says the this is the of I'm just giving you an outside of so how do you return so that means I created a new me that's hasn't 1% of the real me and 99% of ego and that's what navigates The Reb is telling us but you can now return. Chuva means to return where you returning to you're return. You're unlayering all those layers of conditioning that you conditioned yourself to with for ego and your identity became this is who I am and you unlayer it and you're returning to the place of which is so that means that Oh, I forgot that eagle which is called the coven of kings and and and andem is and tells you that everybody's going to ask me who's taking this cover and is something that nobody's going to ask the question when it's when it's real covered of the no one's going to ask a question is giving us now this whole so how do I unlayer these layers to go back to what do I have to do to come back to say it's a very famous thing for like there's this one of the famous things about the he says What does that mean? >> What is what does it mean the words that a person should hear his humiliation and he should accept it and be quiet? That means he should accept his humiliation cuz every time he accepts his humiliation, he's taking up another layer, taking away another layer of conditioning himself to ego. Because how did he get to ego? By not facing shame. By not facing his humiliation. By trying to cover up his vulnerability with strength. So tinker in order for you to be able to return to is to unlayer the shame that you never did. So you have to face shame. What's the shame? The shame is how distant am I from Hashem? What did I do? How many times that you married? >> So, how many times you fought you with your wife? Don't tell me you don't fight with your wife because everybody fights with the wife. Okay. How many times do you fight with your wife? Because she told you something and she was >> wrong about what she told you. >> But if you really if you're really truthful with yourself, she was wrong because the story was wrong. But she wasn't wrong with what she's saying. She's really saying something about you. She just doesn't know how. So, she's coping over here and you're defending over here. No, it's not true. What are you doing? That's ego. >> You're taking your strength of defense over here to cover up what you know is your real humiliation, but you don't want to. You can't face her with that humiliation or you have it with friends, you have it in business, you have it with children. That is something that humiliation is something that we face >> how many times a day? >> We just don't. We're so tuned out from and we're so prepared with all our defense mechanism that we don't want to face humiliation says the Reb you want to do chuva chuva really is returning where am I returning to again I'm returning to myself I'm turning to the place of oneness with hashem and my whole life all I did was create a separation from hashem even though within the separation is still hashem but I layered it up. I covered it up. I covered it up. And at times when it comes to a good ding, a good learning, a good then I'm connecting with my but I'm not living that place. How do I get to live that? Because I because I separated. How can I get to live in that place? I have to do chuva. And how do I do chuva? Chuva is when I face shame. Why don't if you're in the Reb's words, he says because there's question if if if if I have to face shame that means I have to wait for David to to or my wife to humiliate me in order for me to do chuva. That doesn't make sense. How could my chuva be to somebody else? But the says that a person should come. There's another teran I think an old ter maybe. >> Can I trouble you for something? Anything to think of? >> There's another I think. Let me just see what is maybe a few. So the question is like this. >> Give me a second. I'll find it >> which is also smaller. >> We'll just do the first sentence of it. Any water? ink. You haven't water. >> Here, look at I'm not going into the whole I want to stay in this. A person is going to be to feel the pain of his sins. Now we're going to get to the next >> that he's going to have. So he has to make a meal. He has to because his his heart is why don't we feel pain for our sins. >> Even when we do we're doing we're not going into the infection. We're not going into the humiliation of the sin because we can't. Hey, we distracted ourselves. Two, we denied it. And now it's I have to face it. I have to face you. I'm telling you, general. I was playing my whole year. Please be I hurt my friends. Please be You're not going into this. have to real is to go we say general we're talking global but we but the and even if we do the to be able to feel the pain of the sin that's ab goes into a whole of is the time where you're able to be if you're lucky this is all this. So, I just wanted to say that we're so layered up and we're so immune to our way of life and we're so justified and accepted our way of life that we don't even know how to hear our own shiliation help that you're still not focused on. You're still focused on yourself. >> Very good question. So the the way explains the mechanics the mechanics is that what triggers us to sit why do we sit >> to sit why do we do our >> yeah exactly so what's where is the where is it >> but there's a in the heart the left chamber of the heart is the where the is that chamber of the heart is the place that pumps the blood. So the is there and every and what he's doing is he's pumping in the blood poison and that blood is go circulating within the body and all the urges to do is come because that's where he lives says in what no so that's already the ticket but there's another there's a I forgot the post brings it any food that's edible that were this is this is the z no we'll see it we'll see it soon we're going to we're going to we're going to learn it inside I don't remember where it is but the point is and that blood is what what is that blood is the especially when you're younger that's that's what's the is pushing us he's using our that's So dam blood is so reb is telling you how does the mechanics work what happens when a bush is considered like is considered like blood so by facing humiliation I'm taking the bad blood that's the and I'm converting it into d the says you're taking d and you're converting into which And we're going to see it inside. I'm just giving you the preview before we go inside. So here the whole here is about. Now before we go, I just want to say another is that what's coming? What is covered? >> Well, how do you understand? I I want right now I'm saying and I want you to like what I'm saying. What? So what what am I what what am I doing? Covenant means I'm taking something from you. You're talking about the same thing >> for me. If if I'm using it for ego, if I'm not thinking about the covenant of the I'm taking you, I want you to recognize me. >> And when you recognize me, that means I'm taking something from you that you're right now. Let's say you think you're equal with me. And if I show you that I know how to learn T, if I show you that I'm a smarter person, I'm a richer person, I'm a stronger person, then you're going to be to me, that means I'm taking something away from you and bringing it to me. That's what that's the mechanics of what's happening when I'm taking cover. So a person because I need you. That means in this space right now before I did anything, before this you don't know me, I don't know you. So we're equal. The second I want covenant means I'm making myself superior. How do I become superior? By you becoming smaller. >> The only way I can become superior to you is by showing you I have big muscles. I'm stronger than you. So now you're smaller. I'm bigger. Now you're giving me >> Yes. Right. So cover means that I'm taking something from you and bringing it to me. are both. >> So what is the covenant of the coven of is to give up from me to you? If it's if we're talking about it's me I'm being a taker if it's then I'm being a giver. I'm taking for myself and I'm giving to you. So if a person works on himself that's the header of the Torah. Now we'll go into this is just if we take these two we understand that the direction of where the Reb wants to tell take us is into a an awareness what's happening what is happening with me all time the whole day wherever I'm going I'm meeting people and or or even if I'm not meeting people I'm thinking about how I can make money how I could how I can be mashia more people how I can whatever Whatever it is, each person has his challenge in his and and we're all taking whether it's to our wife, to our children, to our workers, to to our friends or to to influence people, whatever it is, we're all challenged in this place of everybody wants to feel something about themselves that they are bigger. And that's the place of taking and we is to give. So now let's go on and add how now what do we do to fix it? How how do I if I'm so stuck in in taking and my whole life is about I'm sitting with you. I'm taking I'm taking I'm taking how do I how do I fix it? The way to fix it is to start accepting humiliation. to start accepting shame to meet shame not your shame that you're shaming me but my own shame on myself is to so my my my wife the next time your wife's going to challenge you with something instead of defending yourself >> you you start listening you say hey >> maybe she's the wrong but it's the really wants me to feel this way And she's and and wants me to accept this shame. And the more I'm going to accept this shame, that's how I'm going to come to real now. Let's go into the how much time we have to until what time? 15 minutes. Let's go into listen to the words of the Reb because even though some some words here are but we're going to try to simplify it. Each person has has to minimize his ego. That means I'm taking from myself. I'm accepting my shame. And where am I giving it to? I'm giving it to the a person who chases he's not going to get cuz what is he doing if he's chasing something that means he wants to take what is he chasing he wants from you he's he's he's he's he's trying to get something from you to himself so he's chasing that covenant that covenant even if he gets it he shows I'm stronger I'm richer I'm smarter that cover at the end, those people are because you took it away from them, they're going to want it back. And how are they going to get it back? They're going to they're going to question you. They may give it to you for a moment, but the next moment they're going to say, "You took this from me. You don't really deserve it. Just because you're stronger doesn't mean you're better. >> Just because you're richer doesn't mean you're better. Just because you're smarter doesn't mean you're better. And not only that, your I'll find your I'm going to find your weakness the same way you found my weakness with your strength over my weakness. I'm going to find your weakness over my strength. >> You're forcing it. >> Yeah. Ex. Exactly. You're chasing him because you're taking it. Cuz what you're doing is you're taking. And when you're taking something away from something, the guy wants it back. But if you're giving >> If you're giving it to someone, he'll never question. If you're a giver, no one ever questions when when somebody someone came over to you and says, "Here's a a check for a million dollars." Are you questioning him? All you're doing is saying, "Thank you." Even if he gave you $1,000, even if he gave me five, all you're doing is saying, "Why?" Because he's not taking, he's giving. When do you start questioning the person? when he's taking. Now, there is a position of I don't want to get lost in it, but there's a whole toy on this on giving and taking, but there is a position of giving manipulation where you're really giving and you're taking, you understand? So, that's worse. That's even worse because you're pretending to be you're pretending to be giving and the guy who's taking he's showing has big muscles. He's an arrogant guy. You don't like the team. He he has he's he's he's stronger than you. But if the guy is is is manipulating you and you and you believe him and then you find out you recognize that he's taking for you, that guy you want to kill, you'll do everything you can to be. What does the posing say about that? Someone who is constantly being investigated and everybody's is questioning him and investigating him and they're asking me who's the By the way, you know what this is? Where's this right? that they're giving him this cover and he's not loyal to this. If someone runs away from the what does it mean to be he means that he's giving up from his covenant for the hashem that he merits to come to this no one's going to investigate his ro to this or he's So it's interesting. I don't want to get stuck here, but we could get stuck here. And what's the difference between both are the same? >> They're both running. >> Someone who's >> what's the difference? And not only that, what let's if you want to analyze for one second without going deeper. >> When somebody when you're running away from something, you're in a police come and you're running. You're not thinking where you're going. >> You're just running away from that place. >> You're not It doesn't make you don't have a destination. You're you're you're running away from the place that you were a >> has a destination. He's running to that place. What is he running to? His destination is that guy is a taker. That guy is going to be he's going to fail. Everyone's going to question his has no destination. I don't I just don't want this. I don't want this at I don't want my ego. I want to give up my ego. I want to serve Hashem. I'm 56 years old. I did ego my whole life. How do I give up my ego? How do I let go of says the Reb. Now he's going to tell us how to do. So the first thing is you need to know that you have to do what do you do? I have to be I have to give up from myself from and give it to how do I do it? The only way that you can get to is through which we explained before means to return. Where am I returning to? I'm returning to the chuva. What is by the way? This is of says clearly that a person does the ra gives you a prescription. The rabb is coming with a new prescription telling you I'm sorry. No, this is not the go of this is what we saw in that other. What's regret? What does regret mean? >> What does regret mean? Regret means to feel the pain. The what's the pain? The humiliation of how could I be so stupid? How could I be so shallow? How could I be so limited when the created the world that and every single and micromanages every single thing and I because of me because he gave me the ability to choose. I made the choice not him. How could I make the choice not him when he does everything? All he does my whole life is give and give and give and give me and I keep taking taking. Someone just told me now a nice thought that he says in the name of the so he says that if you take all the of like put it into like a wet towel as if it's a wet towel and you squeeze it out 99% of it is about about me about what we need out and he says but if you squeeze all of that out it's all about it's all That's not heard. I I loved it. I thought it was a beautiful thing. The point is that we want to serve. >> Who doesn't want to serve Hashem? We either don't believe that we could or we did so much failure that we we we give up or whatever it is each person goes through is or we pretend which is worse like I said manipulation. We pretend we we love the club that we're in. We compare ourselves to the other person and oh that's we d three times a day. We learned that as long as we fit into the rules of the club and everybody looks the same, then I can be whatever I want to be in my secret little meat, which is the worst place. But the point is, how does one get to this says the Reb when he's going to see and listen to his own humiliation and he's going to be quiet and accept it. It's not just being quiet. Many times there are certain personalities or people that are angry personalities. If you hurt me, I'm going to you you hurt me, I'm going to tell you off. The other type of people, they don't say anything. They hold it inside. But they're cucking in anger. They're just waiting for different. Okay. And then they they distance themselves more more more. They hold it inside. That's not that's not good. that before you being quiet, it's not just about not answering the guy. It's about accepting the heed of he accepted. >> So it's about accepting your humiliation and then you be answering says the why. Now how does the mechanics work? We're going to go drop it simple. There is no coven without that covenant is not the is what makes it covered. Why does the make it covered? Because it says I saw he brings it over here says that there's a can't be less than 10 it can't be higher than 20. says 20 is the says in the because of there's no person can the highest place that a person can give is where his eyes could see. The highest place that a person can see is so is the 20 make makes the okay we know is also and is the shame every has another shame of the that's corresponding to that what's the highest is the shame of and what does means I am ready to exist. What does it mean? Before a person does cha, he has no hav in the world. He's not present in the world because he's distant because the world was created to be connected to and a person that that's disconnected is distant from So it's as if it's as if he wasn't born in the world because if he's not fulfilling the purpose of connecting to Hashem then say it's better for the person to not be born than to be born. Why? Because he's sinning. But now when a person is ready to purify himself and do now he's in this place of which is because means I will be the means I will be the word also in by the way is the word. We already had a nation. This is the only talks about the place of of that the highest place is and the lowest place is. the lowest place and and high that means the of the is the place of the lowest place because and and the only question they could ask Hashem that's a question where you're saying that you believe Hashem is here is why because is saying I know you're here but I don't know where so even the don't know where so if a person says if a person even when He's at the lowest place that he is and he screams. He's screaming. He's saying, "I know you're here. I know you're here, but I'm so I don't see you." And because I don't see you, I'm in the lowest place that I have. So has it in I forgot the representation of the starting >> 9:45. Okay. So because I want to get to this point. So this of means I am ready to live. I am ready to exist. So a person that's coming to do chuva is in the highest because right now he's saying till now I didn't deserve to live and now I am ready to live. So he's in this place of >> so let's go to to the so when a person does he can't have an expectation right away that he's going to be forgiven when you go when you have a fight with your wife it takes time it doesn't come right away he's saying which is the highest which is which is you got to wait and he brings me says that a person who wants to do chuva a person wants to purify himself. Messiah, what does it mean you help him? >> You don't help him right away. Help means okay. I mean, you're there, you start working and then I'm going to come help you. Says he comes to buy a perfume. The perfume person says, "Wait, why says over there?" Because the the the seller of the perfume says, "Wait a minute. I'm going to bring you the perfume and so that both of us can have the beautiful smell when you take the perfume. I'll be able to that both of us which of the whole of the right I am to my beloved and my beloved is to me. So >> so the seller's telling the >> the buyer wait a second you want this beautiful perfume hold on let me go get it for you. I'm going to get it for you and I'm going to take it out. And it's like this we're both going to have from a >> nice thing. He says like something for you, you know, >> right? >> Hem gets >> wants that's the whole thing of the I think that said that is right that the the king is going to offer out of the palace. He's coming into the field. He's coming to all the people to be together with the people. So when I see that we're not going to get to it, but the next piece is going through this whole through this way to explain how the dam which is this like we said before is the when I turn into I changed the same word same letter D which is and I change it into which now means that you don't seem because it's but now I accept that humiliation which is I'm taking the I'm changing it to that's how that's how I knock out the so brings me to and that's the way of giving cover and not taking cover next week we'll Continue the session.