Living With Emunah (Part 298) - Blessing Hashem for the "Bad"

good morning to should be a good day for should be brought home our soldiers should return to their families we should hear about a sweeping victory for CLA I want to thank our generous amuna series sponsors Dr zi and Bella Morgan in memory of RAB Dr Brian galet and in memory of Bella's mother Dr Ellen shanzer a couple of announcements we have a new shipment of our caffein with cavana cups they've come in I got to tell you I start my day every day very early in the morning we have a beautiful ker with my cup of coffee and it changes and transforms my when you look at the cup with it reminds you it's a little reminder built in and those sleeves of cups are now available you can email Lee or stop by Lee you could get them locally we'll give them to you or we'll send them to you but they are disposable caffein with Cav cup it's a great way to start the day and to remember to make a we're not making any money off of it it's a service to elevate all of our amuna all of our mindfulness all of our Consciousness so that when we take in that kavana it doesn't just wake us take in that caffeine it doesn't just wake us up physically but the BR wakes us up spiritually some people can't start their day till they take their sip first sip of coffee don't talk to them till they have their first sip of coffee you don't want to go near them it could cost you your life it's don't talk to someone some people till they have their first sip of coffee why because the coffee turns them into a human being there a zombie there're a zombie and a beast and an animal and then you have a first sip of coffee you could become a human being so the coffee wakes us up physically the cavana wakes us up spiritually combine them by caffeinating with cavana you could order it we'll happy to send it to you we're not making money off of it raise your hand if you are a BRS member okay if you did not raise your hand right now you're not a BRS member that means you're still welcome and we love you and we want you to come and we're so glad and we're so grateful that you participate in our shum in our classes and our programs and our panels and our advocacy efforts and all that we do we're so happy we're so glad and we're grateful for whatever support you give to enable us to continue to do it so we run an annual campaign called the BRS Global campaign those who are listening the numbers of people listening to living with amuna are staggering they're shocking they're humbling they're mindblowing they're mindboggling I I trace it all back to the emails I think people appreciate the emails that we get and I trace it back to people's need to connect to feel connected to look to live with amuna and I'm so humbled and honored by it but we need people's help to continue to reach more people so you could right now take out your phone you could do it later make a note to yourself and to please contribute to the BRS Global campaign BRS online.org Global be online.org Global and a little extra incentive for you and then we're going to start learning the little extra incentive for you is the following if you're listening from Elsewhere for sure but even locally for $180 to the global campaign this is the biggest bargain ever you enter a raffle to get two domestic flights to boka to spend chabas with us in our community on the shabas sharo will be here and two VIP tickets to the iso concert ATS on April 7th so for $180 you get a raffle ticket $360 you get three tickets $500 you get five tickets and so on and so forth so you should do it because it's the right thing to Doak if you pay when you go to the movie or theater or you go out for dinner you pay for the subscription service of whatever you're watching on your phone or your device so hopefully living with amuna does at least that for you it's the appropriate thing to do and so that I don't have to gravel like this it's embarrassing and humiliating but it's what we have to do so be us online.org Global please do your part $180 gets you entered into a raffle and then we get to spend the shabas with you in person to fly if you're local fly your grandchildren down fly whoever you want down for a shabas here in person and the isaro concert April 7th VIP backstage it's going to be incredible let's start with an amuna email and then I want to share with you an amuna voice note and that's why I didn't give out a text because I want to just talk about this voice note that I haven't stopped thinking about since I got it first an email an email hi Rabbi Goldberg I want to start by thanking you for your weekly shum it helps elevate my sh was cooking when I listen on Thursday mornings has really inspired me during the last few challenging months as my small yeshu has been deeply impacted by the War I always think about sending an email but I wouldn't know where to start I've been through so many incredible experiences in my life and I'm still only in my 30s through everything I focused on seeing the Yem because there's no greater Comfort than knowing hem is by your side through the ups and downs of Life the following story is not eye popping in any way but noticing hashem's guidance in the Small Things is the practice we need to face the big things right there's so many things in this email already this young person first of all they live in a ISU that's navigating and going through this horrific time these horrible many months and our heart goes out and ouros and our prayers and our love and our support but the notion that if we see Hashem in the small things then we're exercising and building that amuna muscle so that if it's ever tested with a big thing we're ready to go if we wait for a big thing and there are big things in life we're still ding we're ding so hard a six-year-old girl in our community it's been on a respirator now for over two weeks and we're desperately ding we're storming the heavens and it takes enormous enormous amuna and if a person doesn't see Hashem in the small things through life and we're not building that muscle and wearing those glasses and training and conditioning ourselves to see and to feel and to lean on Hashem then then it's hard to later it's hard to later we learn together several months ago of dr's insight I'm sure was going to sing that on April 7th that his concert that you could go to for free with two tickets if you give $180 to the BRS Global campaign I'm gonna have to do it till we hit our budget if we hit our budget during this Amun year you won't have to hear me ever do it again until next year BRS online.org Global so we are people of Faith the children are people of faith we have nobody to lean on the only one we have to lean on is Hashem so if J said you know if you're in the middle of the room and you want to lean and the Wall's not near you what's going to happen you fall flat on your face when you're not near what you need to lean on and you try to lean you fall flat on your face if you need to lean on something you better be near it so the only one we have to lean on isem first you have to draw near him if you're not near him and you try to lean on him you're going to fall down so you have to come close to him so that we can lean on him so all the little ways that we see AEM and all those micro moments of amuna micro moments of amuna not microaggressions micro moments of amuna and all the micro amuna then when there's a macro major amuna moment will be ready back to the email I'm on a WhatsApp chat that posts the name and face of a different hostage each day they include a small blur about them so we get to know who they are as people and not just a name as well as a link to S which is a beautiful idea instead of of some name generic name it's a name I don't know anything about this name there is a a small blur this is who that person is this is where they live this is where they grew up this is where they went to school now you're really Ding and mo shabas the admin posted they were looking to get women together to be Ma and each lady would be given the name of a different Hostage to have in mind it was Mo shabas exclamation point who was thinking about making Kal so it promptly got out of put out of my mind fast forward to Tuesday night and I was making Kal freeze for shabas I had my an in my hand to say the BR when I got a message on that group that they had 40 women and were looking for more I immediately sent a message asking for a name and told the admin what had happened what she sent me the name of a hostage mat every we say the name of a hostage to have in mind as they don't have the opportunity to say KES right now this past shabas the hostage we D for was Matan yarda so again a micro moment of amuna that when she said I'm happy to add I'm taking Kal right now give me a name was given the same name that happened to have gotten the Friday night before when saying Kish there's so much beautiful things to get from this email what a beautiful idea before you make KES to say that there are hostages who can't make Kish let's say their name before we make Kish and to be and to say the name and to have a blur up not just to say a name to know a little something about the person for whom we're daving but again it's a micro moment of amuna May mat Benard all the other hostages be returned back to their families May continuous see in our lives and the coming of mhia this this individual rights a beautiful beautiful email and a beautiful message and lesson again for us if we see Hashem in the micro moments then when there is a large moment when we need the amuna we already trained our brain that little thing oh we got the parking spot oh the timing of the thing worked out oh that came together just the way we wanted we see Hashem all day everywhere then when we need to see Hashem in a difficult moment when it's hard to find him and see him we'll be ready to be able to see him what do I want want to talk to you about today what do I want to talk to you about today I'm tempted to play the voice note but I don't have permission so I won't but a brother of a soldier who was killed left me a voice note and he said uh he said Rabbi I was listening to the shear last week he listens to living with amuna which I'm blown away and humbled by it's a honor and a privilege to give the shear but it's just it's easy for me it's words but the amount of people who've lost loved ones on October sth and since then who are connected to our Learning Community is mindboggling and they're not learning about amuna they're really living with amuna these people are unbelievable and extraordinary I don't want to start to list names I'll leave them out Jen early who we had here a few weeks ago if you haven't yet watched that conversation it's a living breathing example of living with amuna of everything that we're learning it's mindboggling so a brother of a soldier who was killed in battle a young man himself he leaves me a voice note and he says I listen to the last week and he said all my life I've tried to in mod him be grateful for all the things that Hashem does even the ones that don't go well and I don't appreciate a hard day a test that I didn't do well on my team not winning the game I understand that everything comes from Hashem not only the good but all comes from hem last week we spoke a little bit about everything hasem does is for our best not only the good but even that which we perceive or experience as not good it's all can and does Trace from and we acknowledge and we see it so he said in it's been pointed out one of the things that we're grateful for in mod we're grateful that we're grateful there's so many people who aren't grateful to live a life in the darkness to live a life self-centered to live a life disconnected ungrateful people are unhappy people there's an enormously High correlation between gratitude and happiness and joy and satisfaction gratitude it's very hard for arrogant people to be grateful because gratitude is an exercise in humility gratitude comes from the humility to say I needed you I relied on you I depended on you and I'm grateful to you it's a famous rutner we've shared it many times before says it's the same Hebrew word same Hebrew word mod means I'm grateful some say even women should say even though grammatically it's more correct to say others say no a woman should grammatically follow what's more grammatically correct and say ask your mother what she did and follow your family tradition but the word mod means why do we say not an is more grammatically correct because the first word out of our mouth in the day cannot be I it can't be an I am grateful because even though grammatically it's more correct to say an I am grateful the first word out of our mouth can't be I that can't be the first word out of our mouth what's the first word out of our mouth we wake up and we say grateful grateful am I that you've returned wow I opened my eyes Okay the day off to a good start before I had my caffeinate with cavana before I had my first sip of coffee I can be a human being we lie in bed and even before we wash our hands doesn't include hashem's name even before we wash our hands we open our eyes W I'm alive wow that's not a given that is not a given at all I'm alive oh my fingers work oh my eyes work oh I hear the guy snoring my ears work we're alive my faculties are working there's a roof over my head grateful am I not you can't start the day with the word I we started with the word mod grateful am I it doesn't have's name in mod the simple reason is because we say it first thing when we wake up in the morning even before we wash Neel vaser before we wash our hands before we cleansed our hands we already say was here earlier this year he offered another reason he spoke at to Yeshiva so you didn't hear this but he said this other reason you know why it doesn't have hm's name because who says you only say it once a day if it as hashem's name you can't say hashem's name unless you're obligated you can't just make a shahak when there's no cup of coffee in front of you you have to say the BR on something you can't say hashem's name unless there's a precipitator to say it but modani doesn't have aem's name you know why because you could be driving down the street you say wow it's a blue sky it's a beautiful day my family's healthy my life is blessed you know I moved at 2 o' in the afternoon to say it doesn't have's name suggest from sure so that you could say it as many times as you want to and are moved to throughout the day each time something happens for which you feel overwhelmed and filled with gratitude break out a mod who says it's only first thing in the morning it doesn't have hm's name so you could say it as many times you want so the word mod means grateful grateful Mi I it's the first word on our lips but it can't just be lip service you can't just mumble jumble M while you're yelling at get up we got to go to school you're late you slept in I can't believe you snor so loud iny but all last night he has to actually sink in grateful am I I'm grateful begin the day with an attitude of gratitude it'll transform the entire day don't wake up miserable and fabis and the person next to you is already in trouble before he even open his eyes you're angry at him something he doesn't know he did mod wake up mod grateful am I gratitude mod means grateful what else does mod that mean admit mod means admit admission if you say Gober you owe me a 100 bucks I say I I admit admit I owe 100 bucks one why do we have the same word to mean admit and admission and gratitude we have a lot of words we can use we don't have duplication synonyms in Hebrew there always is a subtle difference if we're using the same word it means that there is a similar overlapping meaning so what do admission and gratitude have to do with one another says again we've shared this many times before every time we take a moment to Express gratitude we're making an admission thank you thank you I admit that I was enhanced I was enriched I needed I depended I relied on you thank you thank you I'm admitting which is why the Arrogant person who wants to feel independent I don't need anyone I don't need anything I'm on my own I take care of myself they can't say thank you they struggle to say thank you it's like pulling a kidney out of them to say thank you why because I'm I don't want to admit I'm going to admit you did something for me I'm going to admit you helped me you enriched me you supported me I don't want to admit anything so it's an expression and it's an exercise of humility to say Thank you so thankful people are humble people humble people are happy people and ungrateful people are arrogant people self-centered people and they're miserable people so the capacity to say thank you thank you thank you for dinner I don't take that for granted thank you for the shopping and the cooking and the time so it's your job we have to teach our children say thank you say thank you for the look thank you to the housekeeper thank you to the garbage person thank you to the custodian thank you to thank you whoever earned the money that paid for the food that we just had for dinner thank you thank you we'll become more humble we'll become more happy so thankful back to the voice note so the young man says I listen to the sheer and my whole life in mod when I DAV in mod I pause and I say thank you Hashem not only for the good things not only when I do well on the test and my team wins and when socially things are going well when everything's good but I've always been able to say thank you even when the things didn't go as well he leaves me a voice now he says but RAB I can't say thank you to Hashem that my brother was killed I'm having trouble saying thank you and mod him for the loss of my brother loss of his brother I'm having trouble saying thank you tell me what I should do that was his voice note that was his question so I'll tell you before we even talk about the subject wow that we have young men I don't know if it were me I'm not sure I'd still be keeping shabas I'm not sure I'd still be daving getting up to mod him at all I'm not sure I'm not sure my brother my young brother in the prime of his life strong and brave and courageous and giving and kind and his brother was a very very special person is killed battling fighting defending the Jewish people by evil Wicked Kamas murderous terrorist I don't know where my faith would be and his question is not how can I have faith his question is I'm having trouble when I get to modm saying thank you for this what a people we're part of that we have Among Us young men like this people like this people leave voice notes like this and he's trying to find a an answer he went to the trouble of getting my contact information of leaving me a voice note of asking a question and it wasn't it was sincere he didn't leave a voice no cursing out God and cancel the Amun here and there is no God how could he do this and enough of that explain it to me how could God do this where is he was why was he he didn't say any of that that was not his answer he said I'm having trouble saying thank you he says I'm having trouble saying thank you how do we say thank you how do we say thank you I'm having trouble saying thank you so I want to address that question I want to address that question and there was another email I was supposed to read this week which I'm going to read next week it's also a lot like this I want to address this question is there an expectation that one is supposed to say thank you when their brother is killed in a war is the premise of the question correct the premise of the question is we have to say thank you to Hashem for everything even a tragedy that we suffer if one really has Faith thank you if one really has faith if one is really grateful if one really is appreciative if one really is practicing if one really is attaching and connecting and clinging to God they'd be able to say thank you even in a tragic moment is the Assumption the premise of the question correct so the tells us person is obligated to make a on the translate the word ra so I don't know if the word ra translates as bad maybe it translates as painful painful the same the same way one makes a we just said this morning we'll say tonight twice a day with all your it's not what it says translates the word all your hearts in plural one heart is one heart it's not what it says it says with both of your hearts how many hearts do you have says the you have two hearts physically you have one heart with four chambers spiritually we have two hearts we have the heart that God guides us and directs us and encourages us to the good to think well to think good to see positively and then we have the the that entices us and seduces us and misdirects US means a person has to be willing to give up their life person has to be willing to give to the global campaign it means you know what you know what means what's a lot whatever you value a lot you have to give it to hasem so whatever you love and whatever you hold on to whatever you cherish and whatever you value whatever is for you the the for you direct it and channel it to hasem which for many people is with your resources with your money people have a hard time parting with money some would rather give you the kidney than their money they won't give you their money it's the they don't know the joy that so many in this room know that when you support and give and enable again this is not a pitch for the Glo I'm saying for all of us and give somewhere else I'll make this pitch you're giving to Israel to a cause in Israel which still continues to need our our efforts there are few things more pleasurable in the world as if we didn't know it to be true from Torah research now also supports you know they drop people at the mall and they give $20 and some they say go buy something for yourself and others they say go buy something for someone else and they measure the happiness before and they measure the happiness afterwards and who's happier the one who spent the $20 on themselves or the one who spend the $20 for someone else the one who spends on someone else the happiness the happiness comes from giving from caring because the tighter you hold on to something the less you really have it and the more you give it away now no one can take that away from you no one could take that away from you that's what we spoke about last week's truma after in M says the Jewish people say we will do and we will listen we're in whatever he ask us to do we're good we're in absolutely no problem just tell us Nas we're in just tell us hem says okay how does truma begin truma take out your wallet take out your checkbook well we're not exactly in we didn't exactly mean says I'll test you you really believe you really value you really support you really invested really okay let's see let's see if you really care we spoke more about this in the two weeks ago ironically you can't take it all with you but you can take some things with you what can you take with you there's no pocket in the there's no pocket in the K there's no U-Haul behind the hearse I've been to a lot of funerals the last couple weeks they never put anything inside the grave there's no gold there's no silver there's no watches there's no jewelry there's no portfolio there's no real estate holdings you can't take anything with you so why does it say h that you can't take everything it should say you can't take anything why does it say you can't take everything the ma says because there are things you can take with you what can take with you ironically anything you hold on to you can't take with you but what you gave away is what you take with you it's paradoxical what you gave away could take with you what you hold on to you can't take with you too many don't understand don't know don't experience the joy the pleasure it's the greatest gmack in the world when you help and you enable and you support and you enrich and you Empower that feels so good and it's so tragically sad some don't know that feeling so that's what the PK says with both of your hearts not only the it's easy to love with the because the is telling you you love hem what about thear how do you rechannel and redirect thear are we willing to give up our lives these Soldiers the soldier we're talking about when they cross that line go into Gaza they take that deep breath and behind the Bea we interviewed one of those soldiers who talked about when you go into Gaza on your way in they look at your dog tags you wearing something else that they check to make sure it matches it's a real Moment of Truth a real gut check he described your whole life flashes before your eyes when you realize this isn't Fun in games this isn't a video game you may not be coming home and the people you just hugged and said goodbye to you may never see again that's are you ready therefore the admiration and the appreciation and the awe not just right now this war will end but these soldiers will carry the scares of this battle forever and we in a year and five and 10 and 20 need to remember these Heroes and what they're doing every time they're Crossing into Gaza or alternative interpretation however and whatever he's doing to interact with us we reciprocate to him however he's mod to us we model we connect we reciprocate so the mishna says shame the same way that so that's why this young man is leaving me this voice note and he's saying you know if I got a knock on my door Ed McMahon I don't know if any of you know what I'm talking about still and he says good news Goldberg you don't have to fundraise anymore for the capital project or for the global campaign I'm here to tell you you've won what did they win the sweep steak something Ware something Publishers Warehouse you won the lottery good news good news it's possible that every few weeks I buy a power ball ticket because I'm sick of all the fundraising so let's say I won the I'd make a wow won the lottery it's unbelievable do you know you make that BR the birth of a child the birth of a child I won the lottery a healthy baby was born a healthy baby is born that's that is not than wining the lottery you know who knows that when a healthy baby is not conceived when a healthy baby is not born that's who knows that sadly too many expected it they know it's coming you know now they get all caught up in fighting over what the name should be and who should cater the bris or who's going to host the whatever or when can I get rid of the baby weight and whatever the difference is whose parents are coming to help and whatever take a pause and realize if you have a healthy baby that is not less than winning the the Power Ball when the doctor holds that baby and says it's a healthy baby x that is better than Ed MCM knocking on your door saying you won the lottery it's a tragedy that we don't know and appreciate that it's huge so you win the lottery you make a and there's a knock on the door and it's the IDF spokesperson who's come to tell you the bad news so the mishna says you make a and what do we make with we use's Name by the way the records based on the G sometimes both bras can happen simultaneously the gamar records if a person learns that their parent passed away which means simultaneously they just inherited a fortune they make the bra of they make the bra on the fortune and they make the on the loss of their parent and there's room in the heart to feel two emotions simultaneously but Kain the same intensity the same fervor the same mindfulness the same passion the same commitment kame and that's why this young man says how how can I make a br how in modm can I thank Hashem so here's the here's my answer totally unqualified to answer here's my answer to a young man who can even ask such a question that we have such young men I don't know if he's married or single if he's single I want to get his resume because whoever is going to be lucky enough to marry that he could even ask such a question so if you're listening Yehuda and you're single let me know because whoever will marry you be lucky that you could even ask such a question such a relationship you have with Hashem that you want to work out how in modim you could thank him even for this so thei on the mishna theii writes thei says the bra that one makes is not because you feel grateful the K doesn't mean that you make a br just like it was good news when I won the lottery it's good news when I was informed of the tragedy now the expectation is not that the reaction is that it's good news that we see the ra as to that's not expectation says the whatever arrives at your doorstep whatever knock is the expectation is to realize that just like when I won the lottery that wasn't random it wasn't chance it wasn't happen stance it was orchestrated and organized from above it was divine it was hashem's plan so to whenever the tragedy occurs not that you need to or should feel grateful for it it's painful it's unbearably painful feel sad and grief and experience the pain but no it too is not random and it too is not chance and it too is not happen stance it too is from Hashem the kame is not that the emotion should be the same says the Mii the kame is not the same emotion of gratitude the kashem is not see them both as good the kashem is see them both as coming from Hashem so you'll say but why make a br just because you know or see that it came from Hashem and that it's not random or chance why does that mandate a so what's the root of the word BR what is a a spring a flow doesn't mean gratitude every time we say the word we're supposed to say it 100 times a day should say it 100 times a day you remember Max Spectre back in the Amun here when he sent the cards with the paper clips to make 100 bras a day a listener from New York who sent in those cards anyone he was here this pastas anyway so 100 times a day we're supposed to make a we should know what the word bar means a flow that whatever that I'm making a br on it flows from and it comes from hasem it didn't just appear out of nowhere it's not random or chance it all it is a flow it is all flowing from hem so that's what it means you have to see that it all flows from hem kame the intensity is not to see it all as good the intensity is not to be grateful for it all the intensity the kame the is that it's not random says the that's the expectation the r understands it differently there are many things that things seem that they're bad at the beginning and then you realize why they're good and some things seem amazing and fantastic at the beginning they turn out to be disastrous and terrible so when you live life and you know just how unpredictable it is when you know just how little we see per or understand when you know how much we don't comprehend the things we thought were amazing turned out to be a disaster the things we thought were a disaster turned out to be amazing so when you know that that we don't see with the perspective to really assign a value and appreciate is this good or is this bad so now you can make theame so the ram is saying because we have such a finite limited perspective and vision because we don't really know what's good or bad because that which we thought was amazing turned out to be horrible that which we thought was horrible turned out to be amazing that's the kame that we can make the BR with the same sort of surrendering that we don't really know so when the girl dumped us and we couldn't get out of bed for a week and we thought our life was over and we thought this was the worst thing ever it turns out it was the most amazing because you were meant to get together later in life but you had to go through something or maybe because you weren't meant to be with her at all and Hashem spared you and saved you before you would have had a life of misery and then sometimes you thought it was amazing with the girl and you made a huge braa and you said this is incredible person of my dreams and six months later despite four billion reference calls inquisitions investigations hiring private detectives getting genetic uh lab reports and nevertheless six months later you realize this is miserable and torture and it needs to end and it should be over so we never really know you thought the job was perfect it turned out to be a disaster you thought it was a disaster you didn't get the job it turned out to be perfect you got a better one so the ra says just let it all go and K just make a whatever happens because it all comes from hasem that's hard that's easier to do still very hard but easier to do when it comes to the job or even when it comes to the girl the sh or when it but not when it comes to a brother not coming home for more one should never expect they'll ever see or understand or appreciate how that could be good where the good where the good could be in that so the ram though in his mishna Torah brings a different perspective that was the r in his he wrote it as a very young man in his T the says differently if you hear bad news you make by the way the bra we make at a funeral we make it when there's a loss of life but by the way you would equally just like if you won the lottery you'd make a if a person found out they took their entire life savings and they bet on one thing and they lost all their money they'd make a br also when there's a terrible loss there's a for that too listen to the words of the ra a person has to make a on the painful it doesn't say for the ra the same way that you make a on the good with joy is the same equinity calm Tranquility knowledge it's from hem that you make a he quotes the so the r the rambam here the rambam here is not saying that means the same way you make a same way someone knocks on the door you want won the lottery the same way they announce it's a healthy baby mle you make a I'm so happy I have a skip in my step I'm still filled with such incredible Joy so now when you get a knock on the door and you heard terrible tragic news you have to make the does not say that what he says is the same way what we were saying the same way you know the good news is not random or chance but comes from Hashem take a moment and pause and acknowledge that lean into that the same way when there's bad news and you feel the opposite of sim grief but also pause and say I know this too is from hem it's not random it's not chance it's not happen stance it's not meaningless it has a meaning I don't know what it is and it's also from hem and that's how the records records does not say you have to make a for bad news records if God forbid one hears bad news the demeanor the manner in which they interpret it in which they hear it in which they experience it the kashem is with the same hisas equinity the same experience and knowledge and confidence that it's from Hashem what does bash mean it means one doesn't lose their mind one doesn't lose their faith one doesn't lose their fortitude to cry and to grieve and to mourn and to experience and even lean into the pain but all all informed and inspired by the awareness that it's from Hashem the same way when you hear great news you don't have to stop and say well is this from hm not from hasem want to think I need to count should I be happy let me feel happiness the Instinct the intuition the instant response is equal and opposite the instant response to the has to be and then the adds another idea and he says even even the person who experiences the horrible bed there is something good in it not the loss and the bad the good in it is the now opportunity they have to connect to Hashem that the other person doesn't have you know if you skip through life listen to what the is actually in essence saying this is unbelievably powerful if you have the opportunity I don't know anyone who does but if you do you can skip through life Hy Dori all is well nothing's wrong no challenges no problems no aches no pains no worries no anxieties everything is great and lovely and amazing then your relationship with Hashem that should be incredibly High because you so much to be grateful for but it's going to be sort of lukewarm lukewarm because you don't really ever need to pour out your heart to him because you're never in crisis nothing's ever urgent you never need him in an emergency so everything's just stable and amazing and good and you're grateful for it but you're never tested in that relationship with Hashem but the person who goes through a tragedy is is living the rest of their life with a permanent test of their faith and connection and feeling an ongoing conversation with Hashem and that is a gift in a way it's not a gift they want they'd rather be skipping through life even if it means not feeling as close but being put in the position where one needs to pour out their heart and one needs to lean into asem is a heightened experience with Hashem and so the Sim that could come from from the ra is the heightened experience and ongoing conversation and relationship with Hashem it's an unbelievable Insight of the himself of the ofo the in the is not the ra don't tell me how someone's brother being killed at war no you'll see the good and why it was good and it's good and it's good no the good is the rest of your life you're going to be having a conversation with Hashem your test your faith in hm is tested your experience and the meaning of your still having faith in Hashem is at an altogether different level than the person who it was never tested who will never know who never had to lean and experience it in that way never had to experience it in that way so that was the voice note I got this week and my answer is don't feel you need to work on and M them thanking Hashem for the loss of your brother I don't think he expects that I don't think that that's what he wants I'm not sure that would even be healthy we don't say thank you what we say is we know it came from you I know that this flows from you I'm not thankful for it I wish you did it differently I want you to bring him back I miss him I'm not grateful I'm not thankful but I still know that it comes from you and what I am thankful for is that the experience of losing him has made me feel closer to you more connected to you and giv me a more heightened experience of an ongoing relationship with you and that is something I could be grateful for that is something I could be that is something I could be B over so I'm grateful he took the time I'm in awe I'm in awe that's something he was even struggling with I'm in awe he was struggling with it I'm grateful he took the time to be in touch and that is what I would answer I answered that in a 30 second voice note now this is a 40 minute longer with a very circuitous add route but if you come to the shear you know that's the journey we're going on together so that's that's the way we do it and I'll end just by telling you a story of K there's a story the um the rebm of nickelsburg went to his brother the mag of Mich and he said how is it possible to fulfill this G how could it be How could somebody who lives a life of challenge struggle of loss pain sadness how could they make the BR the same way so the holy mag the mag said it's a good question it's a tough question go to anapola and go find the rebha the only one I know who can answer this question is the Reb so go make your way to his b mes go make your way to anap and find the re so he went to the Bas measure of the reusa and he first was interacting and first observing and the Reb abusa lived in abject poverty he had nothing he had a roof that was half leaks water came in he lived in poverty didn't have enough to eat couldn't feed his children the clothing was worn out and torn falling apart he had children that had illnesses and lost children he had horrific difficult painful painful painful life and he watched and he observed and he saw the Sim and the joy the was happy was practiced hisas this level of equinity all the time so after watching and interacting and spending a day with the Reb finally nikolsburg got up the courage and he asked the he said you know I went to the mag and I had a question the gar says person is obligated to make comes from how How could a person live that way I don't understand somebody has gone through pain and grief and difficulty and challenge how how could they make a br as if it was good news Soha looked at him and he said I don't know why he told you to come ask me I've never had a difficult day in my life I don't know why he thought I could answer your question I've never had a struggle or a pain Hashem has been only good to me I've never had a challenge in my life I don't know why he came and told you to ask me so there are people the re that level that even the challenge the grief the pain is transformed to his living it with such a Sim that he doesn't even understand why someone would come to ask him that question but know from the and from the and ultimately the ra the that and the are not to feel grateful they're to realize that it comes from hem and that a person who is that challenge also has that opportunity and every crisis is an opportunity the crisis is a crisis of Faith but the opportunity is also an opportunity to take that Faith to a new level a higher level we should never be challenged we should never have to have that crisis should always be able to have that Faith even without it I'm grateful for the emails I'm grateful for the voice note and I'm grateful to all the non BRS members who right now are taking out their phone right now are taking out their phone QR code or BRS online.org Global minimally $180 because why wouldn't you want to get in a raffle two tickets to Florida two VIP tickets to Sho at BRS who wouldn't want to say thank you and enable us to spread the message even further and wider thank you we should have the S to should be a good day for