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Attribute #7: The Strongest Relationships Are the Ones That Were Broken
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Tomer Devorah #10 - When Your Friend Apologizes, It Is an Opportunity to Develop a Much Deeper Friendship To sponsor or dedicate an upcoming class click here: https://www.theyeshiva.net/donate To watch more classes & to read Rabbi YY's articles visit: https://www.theyeshiva.net Follow Rabbi YY Jacobson: Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/c/RabbiYYJacobson Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheYeshiva Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yyjacobson Twitter: https://twitter.com/YYJacobson Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/yyjacobson/ Telegram: https://t.me/RabbiYY
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Auto-generated transcript. Not time-synced to the video.
[Music]
welcome
to our class in the great work by rabbi
maisha cordovero taimed via the palm
tree of dvira
class number 10. this series is
dedicated
in the merit of being young in yes
for a complete and speedy recovery and
many
long happy and healthy prosperous
wonderful years with his parents
it's also dedicated in the merit of
shalom
and malcolm and david and sipoira for a
complete and speedy recovery of many
long and healthy years
are vasanam tavis to all of them amen
kane yehi ratzing in the previous
classes rabbi marcia cordovero
showed us how in our lives we can
reflect the first
six attributes of the thirteen divine
attributes of compassion
indicated in micah chapter seven michael
zayn
mikhail overall
they represented the first six divine
attributes of compassion
who is a god like you who bears iniquity
who cleanses transgression for those who
are
one and connected to him he does not
hold on to his
wrath forever he is the one who desires
and loves generosity and kindness and
now rebecca cordovero brings us
to the divine attribute number
seven and that is indicated in those two
words
yoshov let's look inside housain the
seventh attribute is
yoshivirakamenu he will he will
again have compassion on us
what does this mean
says god does not behave like
humans of flesh and blood
if my friend got me upset and provoked
me towards anger show me
even when he appeases me and we
reconcile with each other very often
misrats and ma'at like
it's very hard to go back to the
original state of affection and love we
all know this
once a relationship is broken even if
there's trust even if there's
forgiveness even if there's
reconciliation
misratsumat he will be somewhat appeased
but it's usu
it's often very difficult to get back to
that original innocence that original
love that existed
but if a person betrayed your boner and
if i betrayed the will of hashem from me
and then i have remorse and i repent i
do true then it's the other way around
not only do we go back to the original
relationship
god cherishes this relationship even
more this person is considered
of a much closer friend than original
than how he was originally vahnu this is
what the talmud the gemara says in
brachis
says
the place where bali chuva with those
who do true but those who return stand
the complete and wholesome righteous
people cannot even stand
so not just does the jew who betrays god
and comes back
reached the same level of the
relationship as it was originally before
the sin
it's actually a much deeper and more
intense and more loving relationship
but why tom the reason is
as ghazal explained in pericarboy
the gemara says over there it says
hashem that god created our world
through the letter hey
by the world to come the letter yud and
our word
our world with the letter hey why hey so
the gomorrah says
is a very interesting letter right
there's a roof on the top
there is a line that extends on the
bottom there is a leg on the left side
but there's a little space on the top
and then it's completely open on the
bottom
so you might say it's called a pavilion
an open pavilion it's open on the bottom
by the way you could follow in the
source sheets either open up your own
time inverter you can go to the
yoshima.net
that's t h e y e s h i v a
dot net go to time with vira number 10
or any time advert they're all the same
and you view the source the source
sheets are the same
and you view source sheet on top of the
video you could download the source
sheet below the video
so our world was created from the letter
hey why hate
from all the twenty two letters of the
ibrahim and why hey
so the mario says because the hay is
built like a pavilion chicago writes a
lot this may illuminate
whoever wants to leave his world can
leave
what does this mean pearish
the world was created with the letter
hey every letter of the hebrew alphabet
is a channel for a certain divine energy
so the divine energy that creates this
world is the letter hey
now what what does this mean
specifically the unique characteristics
of
our world unlike the higher spiritual
worlds
is defined by the letter hey but why she
says
god created this world where there is an
opening a whole side of the hay is open
where a person could fall a person could
fall into toxicity can fall into
promiscuity
could fall into immorality and it's a
wide space
it's not like there's a little tiny hole
in the hay that you could fall through
no the entire bottom of the hay is open
which means
you have to know living in this world we
have to know we are
vulnerable we are extremely vulnerable
if i do not discipline myself
if i don't really um have control over
my life
how i wake up how i go to sleep where i
look where i don't look
what do i do in the morning what i do in
the afternoon what i do in the evening a
person can
easily easily kalila fall we can fool we
can fall into
surrender fall into depression fall into
anxiety
fall into fear and insecurity fall into
immorality
fall into laziness and addiction of
making bad choices
this is the vulnerability that a human
being is subjected to in this world
this is the feature of islam hazard not
any other world this is
wherever you look there's no angle we're
not going to find the ability to
surrender to brutness
and to the eight sahara to the evil
inclination and to a life filled with
blemishes and toxicity
it's like a pavilion which is
talmud is basically like because you
have a roof
right and you have a few beams but it's
open there's no fences
this is a world in which it's very easy
to fill because there's no fentanyl
appeared to
dial it there's a huge breach protsol
mata which is open towards the side of
negativity which is the bottom of the
heck because the top of the hay is
covered
and you have the leg on the right you
have the leg on the left but on the
bottom which represents the fact that a
person could fall downwards you're not
falling upwards
you're falling downwards with sad mata
the famous expression of rab mayor of
prime minister
if you're anchored above you're tied
you're connected above you won't fall
below
but if i'm not connected above it's very
easy to fall down below
call me shiroid salat anybody who wants
to leave his world what do we mean leave
his world
he wants to leave the world of of
goodness of normalcy of
of centeredness of balance a world of
equilibrium a world of sobriety a world
of
of authenticity a world of truth you can
leave
and then i'll numb my pain with all
types of distractions come a pisce
there are plenty of openings there's
plenty of opportunities
there's no sign that i'll turn to that i
will not find a breach
that will allow me if i choose to
surrender to sin
and transgression and enter the world of
externalities
means the world of externality basically
the world that is external it's not an
internal world it's not an authentic
world
it's the world of shells of husks of
cover-ups the world that denies
who we are really and what the world is
which is essentially we are all part
of oneness we're all part of divinity
but kitsainum is
the world of externalities external
distractions
external cover-ups husks that camouflage
truth
but white you fall but there's an
opening on the top remember that hey
look at that hey there's a roof on the
top there's a leg that comes down on the
right side that's attached to the roof
there's a leg on the left side but on
the top of that left leg there's a
little space
so that even if you fall on the bottom
because it's open on the bottom you can
climb up
and get back in to the real world
through that space
the door is never closed for return
vehicular asks the gemara a question
menachem
tests why don't you come back through
the same opening
the same opening that allowed you to
fall just climb back in
if a door is open it allows you to leave
you can come back through the same door
why does the hay need an opening on the
top for you to get back into the picture
just go back in and see the gamora
mistake mostly
it won't work out it's not going to
happen why won't it happen
why won't it happen so this is what
ramak is going to explain now
ratsuba's what they meant to say is
somebody who does trouble who returns
it's not enough for him to have the same
fences that that saddik that the
righteous person has
somebody who never fell who never sinned
a small
weak fence will be enough because he
never went into that world
somebody who has failed somebody who has
stumbled somebody was transgressed
and then they recreate their life like
asphyx
that small flimsy fence of that saudi
won't be sufficient
he has to be much more careful he has to
be much more assidious much more
attentive
he has to have serious discipline and
serious boundaries
because that small fence that i once had
that was breached
and if i get back to that place it will
be very easy for my it's her of my
negative
inclination to entice me to do it again
electronically
i have to distance myself completely
take for example somebody who's an
addict
somebody who was never addicted let's
take alcohol
you can drink wine you could make kiddus
you can drink four cups of wine
you could say a nice lakayama purim as
it says in gemara maguilla davizaya
you could make a toast wonderful gazunte
but somebody who was addicted to alcohol
he can't just say oh i'll have a little
bit like that saddik says no no no no
that little bit is not offense for you
because you are very weak the same is
true with certain people
who have other addictions or other
proclivities or other instincts
you need to stay away from it you need
to be much more
serious much more attentive because you
are vulnerable
you have been there you have fallen you
have tasted you have got stuck
somebody who's living in a more innocent
place they can get closer to it because
it's not so enticing but i who have a
weakness i've been vulnerable you have
to be
much more on top of your game don't
compare yourself to that person who
never struggled
and fell in these areas
this is the metaphor that our sages are
saying i can't go back to that
opening where i fell through
ali is allah the economist
i have to climb up and going through a
narrow door the top of the hay
the asaka is which represents the fact
that i have to create different
boundaries for myself that are narrow
i have to narrow things in i can't just
be this
expansive person who can experiment with
everything no no
you want to fool yourself you can fool
yourself but you know that you're weak
you know that you're vulnerable
so you've got to go in through that
narrow door you have to restrain
yourself you have to discipline yourself
for yeast my process you got to plug
you got to close off those breaches i
can't go back in
from that same space i need to find a
different opening
is greater than the tsadek where the
bolshova stands it's how they can't
stand as the talmud says
because they did not go in through the
same entrance like that saddikam said
that they could be with them
el ninctaro they had to work very
diligently
they had to come up through the door on
the top the opening of the top
with sigvuatzman they had to mortify
they have to challenge themselves very
deeply they have to work through
a lot of toxicity and dirt venivdal
but as a result of this they become more
separated from sin more than the tsatik
because they have to work through the
filth because they have to work through
the addiction
because they have to work through the
traumas and the weaknesses and the
insecurities
this is a paradigm he's giving us a
paradigm about people who struggle
with so many different things in life
it's so much more difficult
but yet because i have to work through
these things i
come to places inside of me that are far
deeper than what the tsadek will ever
touch
because i have to really work through
darker places and find the light there
so you're going to just
reach deeper places inside your core
that nobody else has to go to
uncultivated roads very powerful
like
and therefore they ascend to what's
known in kabbalah as the fifth
chamber of ghanaian which is also
represented
by the roof of the hay which is number
five
stand at the entrance to the fifth
chamber
at the entrance into the pavilion but
the balchuva actually
gets to the top of it deep deep into it
because he has to climb up all the way
and get into the hay from the top he has
to really work much
more much harder
when a person does truth now what's the
meaning of the word shiva the
new tosh of hey it says in zoya shuva is
a combination of two words
tashoo of hey teshuva the hay
shall return al-mukhema to its place
god's
name is made up of four letters yud and
hey and vav and hey
and those four letters are reflected in
our own soul
and sin is when the hay gets separated
from the previous
three letters there's disalignment and
the person gets broken and fragmented
true is you bring back the hey the hey
represents the shrina
the divine energy that is manifested in
life
and when a person loses their connection
with infinity that hay
goes haywire it gets fragmented truva is
bringing the hay back restoring it back
to its place
so that god shrina now lives in me
he doesn't bring me back to the first
love eliot
the love is much much deeper
and profounder baha'inu yoshovirakamenu
this is the seventh attribute
he will yoshovirakameno
what is yoshovirakamenu you remember
he will again have compassion in us but
here he's saying
yahshua means not just he will have
compassion again
the compassion will be increased
he will refine them and bring them even
closer than they were
were before he will return us back to
him
with more compassion
than even before that's the seventh
divine attribute
what does this mean in my life in your
life
can we live this way with other people
don't hold a grudge an enmity because of
a previous anger alex
when you see that your fellow your
friend is seeking your love
yi allah
you should display to him compassion and
affection even more than before
vyoymen and he should say you should say
uliq
he's like
even the greatest cannot stand in the
spiritual place
where the balchuba where the return he
stands via carveyou tachleskurva
and you should bring him closer to you
with the ultimate closeness
of islamic
even more than you bring close to you
the righteous individuals who have never
sinned towards you
this is an amazing idea so there are
people i'm friends with i'm
acquaintances with it's great then we
have a great relationship and i never
wronged them and they never wronged me
and there may even be a sincere and and
profound friendship and love
and then there is that colleague or that
friend who has maybe betrayed me did
something wrong or said something wrong
or the other way i did something to him
or to her whoever it is
and this person now wants reconciliation
they come and they ask forgiveness
they say let's go back to that place so
sometimes
there's a side of me that says never
never i'm never gonna trust this person
and even even if we're gonna go back
to something similar to the original
relationship it's still going to be
somewhat less than the original
relationship he says learn from god and
say you know what
not only should you forgive him can you
allow your heart to become even closer
to this person
because remember this person apologized
this person had to work through the
betrayal your relationship could now
reach a much
deeper space if you're both sincere
we're not talking about if he or she is
not sincere
they're just trying to deceive you or
trying to you know
play nice and they're not we're talking
about a real person
now you're actually capable of a much
deeper relationship you see this in a
marriage all the time you know
the strength of a marriage is how they
deal with the marriage after the
conflict after the fight
because when you could connect through
the weakest link then you become
stronger than ever
when when everything is perfect it's
also a very weak relationship
but when you have to work through the
imperfections and the flaws and you
could still find common ground and you
could find room for forgiveness
says now you're capable of a much much
deeper connection and relationship
cherish the opportunity don't just
accept
this person's apology allow yourself to
become
closer than you were ever before
thank you
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