Shai Graucher – Chessed Under Fire

[Music] I'm here with Rabbi Shai Graer, my partner in this amazing project, a book about what happened over here the last two years in Artis. The book is called under fire and it tells the story the incredible story the journey that began shi's story that began many years ago as a child growing up in the home of daddy and mala gra his relationship with his development as a asarim and as somebody who then was propelled to international stardom through the events of October 7th here we're together mesh shai And we are going to talk a little bit about some of the stories in this incredible book. Really, it's not it's not a book. I look at it as like it's like a journey. It's a journey into your nisha into your relationship with into your relationship with your parents and your father and into your relationship with Kasov. And I want to start talking about you did so many amazing things from the beginning of the war. I mean from buying a pony for a little boy on the border on the north >> under fire >> literally >> under fire. >> I mean you know what why don't we start with that tell us a little bit about how that happened. You bought a pony for a kid. >> So um we actually saw a very nice interview in TV about Moshafura that there's one mother left and one child in the whole place. Everybody left and there's there from day and night and she every morning wakes up early and cooks for theeim and raises money and whatever she gets only to cook and to cook and to cook and I saw the video and then this boy's having a birthday. >> What was his name? >> Ya, right? Yer ya and ya wanted a very very nice gift of a pony but his mother said all my money is going to buy food so I can cook for thee. And a day after we came with our group like every single >> Well, hold on. You skipped me. Wait, so you heard this thing. You just said, "You know what? >> Oh, right away. Right away. Right away. I wrote on the status, I need a pony. Right away I got 10 phone calls. We got the best price. We bought the pony. >> The pony's name was Paco, right? >> Paco. >> It was This day was the north was like was attacking like crazy and the house of of yer and his mother was like in the front line of like they they were able to see their houses and we were able to see them and I remember they said like you cannot even come closer so it has to be in the back. And the minute we came already, there was they told us to hide. We went into the house with the and it took a few minutes till we got Paco out. And if you would see the smile, you know what? It wasn't just the kayak for the kid, for the mother that she's seeing that people are coming from. We have people from Toronto, from New York, from London, and the love and the support. And I remember asking, it's on the video. Did you Did you think you're going to get it? your dream like you said something on TV and a day after he says yes to hear from uh of that yes I it was something so so special and I think this was the greatest thing about all the stories and everything but just coming bringing love and support you know and you saw we didn't talk to nobody about you know start putting on fill in Mash we just gave action of under fire in the most respectful way. >> Some of the days we spent together on the road. It we watched theem I mean watching you in action is like seeing it's like is with you every step of the way. I could be may I could testify. I saw things happen the things that happen with you the connections we went >> families and you sit with every family. It's as if it's the first day a person, most people the first day they're going to they cry with a family. You did this for 500 for 600 days. Every time you s with a family, every time you're with them 100%. And you you pit cry as if you're like their relative. You're their brother. And they feel it. And they feel it. The parents feel it. You give them it's something beyond special. But I want to talk right now because one of the most beautiful stories in the book and there's so many it's such a beautiful book by father of it's beautiful but there's something so special because there was a girl and this girl got shot from a terrorist attack in the entrance to and this is one of the most special stories in the book because you went to the hospital and tell us what happened when you went to the hospital you wanted to help you wanted for a lot of people are in terrorist attacks what happened. So we went to the hospital with again a group of amazing donors and people that you know without them and it's maybe a time to thank all of them that came left their homes left their kids and just came to help bring love and support and we went into the hospital meet more soldiers it was already I don't know how many visits and then we came also to the room and >> how old was this girl >> 20 >> around that And we came and I remember her seeing and you know she was very she was but not >> girl >> and we wanted to make her happy. For me every time I went to a room first of all you know they say I try every day and every single place I went to stop for 60 seconds. We can do but just to think what we're going to do. And by the way, this came after being in Gaza. When I went first time to Gaza and I saw the living their lives 40 days with his boots and in the house is broken and then I asked to go to a tunnel just to understand a little bit before I say and and and it changed a lot in my life just to understand. So walking in this room also thinking for 60 seconds I want to make this people that I'm going Hashem give me the to make them happy because you don't want to just go in and have a regulus of okay another and it's not the iPhone and the iPad and it's not this it's the love and the support and we come in and I asked her what how can we make you happy so right away the mother said you know her coat was was shot so no problem a coat but how can I make you happy And then she said, "My father, my father flies, and he has a coel." And for me, I just want my father to be home with his family like everybody wants and we need to help with the quil. I told her, "Done, just put your father on the line." And all she wants is a her father should be able to sit and learn at home. We shouldn't have to travel all the time. And for me to see the the true in life in such a way that you know if she could have asked for everything and she would get everything. She would ask for a car she would get she would she would get everything. I had people there. We had donors there and it was it was so special. I remember that we were able to raise money for a few months. >> You call you spoke to the father on the on right then what happened? What? >> We made the wire out the spot. I I didn't I didn't I didn't have a donor like specific. I said I'm wiring the money. We wired the money right away and then we we were able to raise more money and >> and another guy in Lakewood then heard about it and he also gave the same amount of money if I remember correctly also another $26,000 >> he raised um he was very close to the family uh CBN nger so he right away with us together we did it then it was something very very special but you know what was special I was with uh my children in the park >> this is how how long afterwards Few months >> a few months later you went bike riding with your kids >> probably five six months. So there you are bike riding around >> in Arnov in the soccer field and this boy comes to me >> looks normal regular and he tells me shai you remember that story says of course like yesterday says I didn't s and learn so much and right after October 7 I helped in a kitchen I couldn't learn it was hard for me I don't have a but I wanted to do something good so I cooked every Hey, >> who is he cooking for? >> He was cooking for Okay. >> for people that need food. And he said after seeing this video >> of this girl >> of this girl, I told him, I'm I'm done with kitchen and I'm going to sit and learn. And today, not only that, I'm learning starting and I cannot thank you enough. And two weeks later, I was in Peta by my mother and we had a bar mitzvah of somebody that works in Mada and he took such good care of my father really took care of him whatever my father needed and he loved him so much and he prayed with him and and he had a bit I don't I didn't really want to go but I said I'm going to go we went to say Maz and then and the mother of this boy comes to me and tells me the same words and is thanking me. I think the special thing about it first of all it's an an incredible thing to see the god listenless and what is a person thinking but there was a lot of questions why you're doing videos why do you need it matan baset we know this is a very big mil and and and there's a lot of things that could have be done maybe differently because we know that but you You know in the beginning mish in the beginning of the war when I spoke to the rabbis that I'm very close to you know they told me you break the mat big and small the big one you hide the small one you leave it says a person has to be you have to d and you have to learn you have to show it but it should be more more beta than the go you have to show but don't show don't show a lot show a little it that's why the big mat the big things you hide it but you have to show something and they told me show the videos but make aesh every single day from all the videos you did if you did more bet and I can tell you and you saw a lot of things that we didn't post it we didn't put on videos till today and I'm happy with this that we were able to do it and to be with this and I worked very hard to be able to do it but in such days of challenging of senam of hates and you saw what's going on in the street before October 7. There was a lot of good things that came out from the videos besides donors. I I wouldn't get the so many people that came and gave hundreds of thousands because they saw the videos. Yes, there's people that didn't like the videos. But the k the law here you're taking a story one movie and you're hearing only one person that saw the movie. How many people saw this movie and it made them happy? So listen, we're not perfect in life, but the great the great things came out of it. And you know what? The phone calls that I got from LA, from Miami, from New York, from London, of kids, a 9 years old, a 10 years old, a 13 years old that told all those friends, I we don't want gifts. You'll bring money and we're going to send it to Israel. We're going to buy a there's a there's a kid in LA. He raised five pairs of fillin $3,000 for and the sent this boy videos and told him thank you for the fillin. So if kids saw it and kids for me this was giving me. >> Yeah. I I I want to take you back to when together when we when we were doing research for the book. I mean it's like it's like no other kind of research because usually you know research means I sit with a person and they tell and they tell me stories with you it's not like that research is we get in your car your van and we drive from house to house and I watch the stories happen in front of my eyes it's not those are much better than the way you tell me the stories I'm watching I'm part of the story as it happens so when we when we came down south and we went to do birthdays not your brother I call him the birthday king. He's the one who came with the idea for every orphan, every single one, every widow on their birthday, >> you guys go to their house, to their school, to the and you give them a birthday cake, a beautiful cake, a special cake, a present, um balloons. You make it one of and you find out what the kid wants also before and you give them that special present and the kids know a few weeks before and every day they're waiting for you guys to show up and then you show up at the school and you come in and there's guitars. It's it's like a dream for a kid, especially a kid who went through what he went through. So, we come into the school and and the guitar players are playing and he was singing. It's you know, it's a real vibe. And we come into the classroom and in this classroom there's this there's a picture of your on the wall and you I knew you were going to do this. I knew I had no question. If you see on the wall, there is no way in the world. We are walking out of this classroom and sh didn't talk about not a question. And you turn around you say who could tell me like what's you know what's special about this wall because I said I know on the wall and then you told the boys a story >> about could you tell everybody what you told them? >> Yeah. So I said a story about they will never forget that everybody know didn't talk a lot but uh he had a big asho people raised millions with him. you call today, they'll tell you it went it dropped down very very down and had a big I will never forget that you know he spoke twice in his barit in his wedding but when he went out and every time there was a different rabbi rabbi or his son saying his letter and one day you know opening his day nets he's a sandic for three four children bu this one needs this one needs a and he's giving a lot of And then in the afternoon and everything and then at night is going to >> that was a dish at right. I think it was Du. It was in it was in an arena right? >> One of them probably >> cuz that was the I remember they came with they they put up his tent walked through probably >> I was there that night riding for Daru. >> So probably that Yeah, it was a very big event. Everybody saw him. It was video live on the internet. There was places that they didn't have enough place so they made in this city big event. It was a big event and Rip walks in, you know, sits with the Gimmorra like always and then he comes home. >> I want to just say but that event I I never saw the reaction of the crowd. We're talking about >> I don't know 15,000 people and the whole stadium is packed and sitting with a gar when he comes through the tent the place feels like as the the biggest rock star in the world walked in for this was >> what's the action >> the action is the old sadic sitting with the garam and they are jumping and they're singing like and I felt like at that moment I said like what a cla Well, we're alive. So that was that was the night that you're talking about. So after that long night, he comes back to everybody got that day >> and he goes sits, you know, and then he tells his grandson to check if someone's at the door. >> Well, you heard the knock. >> No, no, there wasn't a knock. Check if someone's at the door. You know, it was a house. Everybody came and went. And the other grandson said, "Can I be avah? Who cares if someone's at the door? You were just gave the whole world. What do you need? Is everything okay?" And then he told him means said could be I did everything today. I helped the whole entire world. Everybody got this one is that but could be this ye that one:00 at night is standing at the door and what does he need? What am I going to give him? Aba a smile. Maybe this person is giving me the the the the to be alive and to live this life. And this is what I saw by till his last day and my father the last day. My father died with a Watsub Shai transfer 18,000 shekele for this couple that her son is going through cancer. >> He didn't even know them. He didn't know anybody. He didn't know anybody. He just helped. You heard the story. He helped. And you know, every day when I wake up in the morning and people saw me in the in the middle of the world, I remember in the first deal after 60, I says 100 days will be 100 days. Unbelievable. And we're here after 650 days. And it's not ending. There's a boy that wasn't even born yet. There's another widow that has to have a baby that my wife took upon herself to take care of everything. But especially the idea of widows that going to the going to a delivery room without a husband just being there alone alone with a picture of of of this husband 34 widows. And we had the to be there in the bristim in the simas helping with night nurses helping with strollers clothing with so many amazing and incredible donors that understood and and and it's not ending. It's not and there's so much to do and it it's a pain of every single day but every day when I'm thinking about my father how he lived and how he left this world and that the stories I couldn't ask for better two um >> role models >> role models you know to lose a father rn and gashi in two years is not an easy thing >> it's like what your father went through when he lost both parents in your father lost both parents in in a year and a half. >> Yes. >> And you know >> and I think and I believe that this gives me the crack. Of course my mother should have a right away open their house. Everybody can come. My wife was taking care of everything there. >> Your mother's amazing by the way. My mother is like my mother. >> She's a she's a true >> she raised kind of a freed said to me the kind that the gra is raised Mrs. Gra what she raised. You don't see kids like that. >> Yeah. So it's it's a big and it's an honor you know it's it's an honor to have the >> ofus and to give so many joys and you know I never I never maybe said it and and and maybe it's an opportunity people are going to see it people are going to watch it and you know we tried very hard everything and maybe on the on the way there were mistakes and people that we give we didn't give the respect that they deserve or donors that help and you know I'm not perfect so it's an opportunity to say to everyone that we love everyone and we just try to bring love kushem we can't solve people's problem I cannot solve people's and they know it the widows the orphans hostages the soldiers but we can help with love >> I want to say >> and take their pain >> I want to say something because that reminds me of something I think we could before we finish up over here this conversation I just want to remind you when we were together and we went to the border the border of Gaza, Egypt, and Israel. There's a kibbutz over there. >> Shalom. Kam shalom. >> Kam shalom. Right on the border. The border the There's a wall. That wall was the border between Gaza and Israel. And on October 7th. >> Wow. >> We sat in the pagola in that kibbutz few few really a few feet away from the wall that a terrorist put an explosive device blew up the piece of the wall and then they came in. animals came in on but we're studying together with a group from Tom's River and there I think right >> very and we're listening to the story of the widows there and the husband's son >> and what what happened on that day and then we went into the house and we heard from >> Schindler that he lost his hand and holding the door and then the terrorists are trying to get into the door and they're blowing and they blew off the door and he went flying into the wall. It's a miracle that his family was survived crazy unbelievable miracles. But we're talking to the to to to the other Amikai's widow and she's telling us about and I said to her tell Shai tell Shai what he does cuz he doesn't even know what he does and she said sometimes Shai doesn't know. You remember this, Shai? And I said, you don't remember what I said to her? Tell Shai. And she said, Shai doesn't know. A half hour before he comes to see us. I'm lying in bed and I have no to get out of bed. He doesn't know. He doesn't know cuz when I came when he came, I got out of bed. But he he doesn't know what he what he when he comes what it gives us. He can't change our lives. He can't fix everything. But when he comes, it brings us that light for us. It changes everything. It changes our whole life because at the end of the day I'm lying in bed and I have no kayak and I and when he comes suddenly like life is easier, life is brighter and and I I wanted you to hear that because you know you're you're giving kayak to everyone you know and this book people read this book and they'll understand what a journey you were on your journey was journey but and you were like the face of Kiso on this journey but people don't understand what you and you don't even understand you you've seen so many things that came out of the things you've done but you don't even understand a a fraction a mash because every story that you were involved in has ramifications has and things you don't know about and kids and grandchildren and the and the widows and and and the the you don't even know you know a little bit. You know what they say a person comes to Shai and and they they tell him and all these mitzvah and he's like I didn't do that like yeah but you danced at the and someone saw them they became from and now they're kids and the grandchildren. You have no idea when you come to Sha after 120 and when you get there after 120 and they show you the the warehouses the of the storehouses of which came about through all the things that you did here people have no idea I I mean I saw a little bit because I went with you I to go with you but what what happened here yeah you were and what is what is >> you know what Rabbi says of Gdalia always shy we're just warming up and I just want to take this opportunity also So um you know I I know art school for many years because book and we started with the garro my father told me you have to pick up rabbis zawitz and be in touch with him and he made the shed. Another great thing that my father did. But the minute October 7 happened, one of the first phone calls was from Radalia and of course his son Aaron and Mali that works there. And he told me right away, article is yours. We are with you. And I think it's one of the only emails they ever send for a fundraiser of that nothing to do with the Mor Foundation. and right away having the gimoras, having the helping with chassim to orphans and doing whatever they did. I think um you know so we know a lot of the art school books but there's a lot of there and it's not just and but it's I call it the family of art school. It's the people that work there that cared that helped. You know, there's one worker that put in his status and this donor every time sent $10,000 and it wasn't once, twice, it was a few times and I called the family of art school. I think this is also representative cloud because it's not just the books. It's not just the Torah. There's so much and good things that's coming out of there with the leadership of Gadalia and >> father mayor. Yeah. There's a lot of great people in Kai. So Gdal for everything you do. I'm very close with Gdal also. >> He put us together also. >> That's right. That's right. >> So that's a good >> Maybe my father is getting the credits after 120. You made the and made with and we did you should be you should keep on doing for many years to come in in not just hard times in good times. But I really think that when you stood at the init and you told your father what you want to do, I really think your father, he's looking down at you now and he's saying >> and you say, "I'm proud of you. You're doing great. I'm proud of you. Keep up the good work. I know you can do it." And he's giving you, he's helping you. He's with you every day. >> And I everyone should read this book. This isn't just a book. This is a book about what is this is a book about helping. Any person who wants to know how do what should I do? I'm just a regular person. Sh will tell you I'm a regular person. I grew up playing soccer. >> Everybody can do it. >> Everyone can do it. Everybody can. >> You just have to want. >> Exactly. >> And not to give up. And not to give up. [Music]