Rabbi Meyer Yedid — The Power of a Giver

Welcome to Inside ArtScroll, where the books that we read and the people that write them come to life. It's as they would, a pleasure to welcome to ArtScroll Studios Rabbi Meir Yedid. Thank you. Thank you for having me. And what brings us to the studio is yet another blockbuster book. This time the power of a giver. It's a gorgeous book. It's a safer kadosh. It's a really holy book. And before we even start, I have to tell you that my mother has a chavrusa shaft with another friend of hers, and they go through your books one at a time. Every day they learn a little bit, and they say that they're transformative. So, if my mother's learning your safer, Rabbi Yedid, you made it. Baruch Hashem. It's a big chizuk. Rabbi Yedid, um giving is giving is something that's super important. It's who you are on some level. I think it's something that we all want to do, hopefully. And for those that read the book, they're for sure want to do it. I want to begin by asking a question. Certain people naturally are givers. They just they like giving. They're looking for opportunities to give. Other people have a really hard time giving. It almost feels like it's not a an equal playing field, you know? So, what do we tell the people who by nature don't want to give? If they read this book, is it going to empower them to give? The book's title is called The Power of a Giver, um as opposed to power of giving, right? And uh the reason for that is that there are many times in life where we actually give to others, but not realizing that maybe we're not a giver, even though we're giving. Very often, for example, we'll give because we expect something in return. In the beginning of the book you talk about that extensively, beautifully. >> So, it's so so it's So, I am giving but I don't know if I would be called a giver and I don't know that I would benefit the same because it's not coming with the right intentions in certain situations or for the right reasons. Um so, clearly the book is meant to give the reader a real understanding of what it means to be a giver. If a person is a giver, their life will never be the same again in every aspect of their life. Not in their marriage, not with their children, not with their friends, not with Hashem, not in anything that they do because the person is a new person. It's a different person. So, a person who has a hard time giving either it could be because they don't really understand the power of a giver. You know, in life the what says that a person is only willing to give of himself, whether it's money or anything else, if they see something greater in return. So, an education of what is the beauty of being a giver has to give a person just the strength and the desire to want to do it. And once a person wants to do it, it's just a matter of time that they going to do it. So, this book is it's for everyone. It's not just for people who have a natural way >> for every age. I cannot imagine someone who picks up this book, myself included, you know, after writing the book and going through it and reading it again and reading it again, you know, and every time you read it you say, "I'm so happy I just learned that. I I'm just reminded by that." So many things, you know, when a person talks about giving, you almost think like, "What do I need this for? I give all the time. It's it's obvious. It's simple. How many different ideas could you give me on the subject? But in reality, open the book and you can't believe how many facets there are and how many things come together and all of a sudden a new world is open to you. So, every person in whatever they're doing, whether they're giving, you know, millions of dollars or they're giving their time or they're teaching telling me that >> or a compliment, yeah, or just simple, you know, shul hellos, Shabbat shalom, good shabbos. Who can benefit from upgrading their giving? It's It's so beautiful and so obvious after you read it. So, so Rabbi, you did the book is is transformational and there's there's so many mikra'os, there's so many sources and stories and beautiful things. How do you start writing a book like this? You take a piece of paper or you open a document and you write giver at the top of it. And then how do you get to where to the end of the book? Where did you get the content from? What drives you to put this in, to put that in? How do you organize your thoughts? I'm super curious to hear how you wrote this. Right. So, the truth is if you looked at it as a book, the way you just looked at it, so I would come out like a genius or you would say there's a lot of siyata dishmaya here like how? Impossible. Right. Because as I read it, I say, "How did all this come together?" >> I'm feeling the same way. Yeah. >> Right. So, but but it's really not that way. I'm I'm blessed to be part of a big community that I get to speak every week, more than once a week. I have a I have shiurim, a big shiur once a week that I give on Shabbat. Um so, you know, when you prepare for a subject for a crowd of people that are hungry and they want to understand and they want to get to the core of a subject, so it forces the person to really work very hard to give them what they're searching for and, you know, hazal tell us mi talmidai yoter mikulam. How can a person say I learned more from my students than from my rabbis or my Haruka? How could that be? But the the answer is that there is Seattle that Hashem gives you when you have a responsibility for people who want to hear. So if people are there listening and they want to know about a giver, so Hashem will give so much capability to the person to get to places he never got before. Which is something that I feel we were actually learning about Simcha, the power of happiness and Simcha. And of course you can't have a life of happiness and Simcha without being a giver. So we went through giving and just I thought it would be a class that would go for 1 week and then I realized that there is more to talk about and then there's more to talk about and there's all of a sudden it it just came to be such an unbelievable uh you know I don't know encyclopedia of being a giver. So really it's the I would say the of the people that I learn with and teach that I was able to get all this information and then it came together. Amazing. And thank you for giving us this gift. Um to get us into the topic of giving a little bit, I want to ask you a hard question. And the way I want to ask it is a question that somebody asked me. So for many years still till today I was able to teach the high school age. And one day one of my students comes over to me and says to me that I got involved with special needs children. And I started going there on Shabbat, started going there on Sunday. A year later it's my life. I went this summer, every free moment that I have I'm with those children. And it's totally transformed me. Listen, when you give you transform. So over Shabbat I'm thinking to myself I don't know if I'm such a generous person, if I'm such a selfless person. And she is giving her entire being to these people. But the pleasure I get when I'm giving to these children, there's nothing in the world that could replace that. And I'm thinking to myself that I'm telling myself that I'm giving, but I'm really doing it because I want to take. I'm getting the pleasure. And that I'll do what it takes to get that pleasure. So, Rabbi, am I selfish or am I selfless? Wow. Such a such a powerful question. The fact that someone asked the question >> That alone shows you 100% >> a beautiful person right there that's thinking about that. So, if you were in my shoes, Rabbi you did, Right. what would you have shared with her? What would you have told her? I would say that enjoying being a great person in any capacity is the pleasure of olam haba. Hashem gave us in this world the ability to taste olam haba when we learn a sugia, when we learn a a tosafa, when we learn a >> Shabbat Shabbat >> Made in olam haba. Yes. Yes. And and really any mitzvah that we do in the purest way. You know, a person learns or they learn, it's a big difference. Sure. You learn a a you know, a a daf quickly and you just want to get to the end, it's nice, it's beautiful, but if you learn it in the right way and you get into it and you put your kochot into it, you come out with a different feeling. So, anything that we do in the spiritual world is really acquiring a taste of olam haba. So, the fact that a person enjoys their learning clearly doesn't take away their lishma, their purity in the learning. The opposite. The you know, the the Sifrei Magidim say that if a person doesn't enjoy the Torah, there's something wrong. But I don't think it's only in Torah. Torah is is is the great representative of spirituality, but anything that you do well, you become a giver and you enjoy that. It brings you your your generating simcha in your life. That's beautiful. That's not something to be embarrassed about or feel that you're losing. The opposite, it should be a siman. It should be a sign that you're doing the right thing because you're enjoying it. If you're enjoying it from within, then clearly you're doing something right because you're tasting olam haba. That's what it tastes like. Now, if a person says, "I'm doing it for that reason," so that could be a a little uh stain in in the action. But, hazal tell us, you know, mitokh shelo lishma ba lishma. A person, even if he's doing it not 100%, I don't think anyone does you know, kindness uh with 0% care for others. It's not a zero or 100%. Usually, we're somewhere in between. You know, we're we want to help people, but we also want to feel good. So, we can't take it as such an extreme. But, even if we're doing it for ourselves a little bit, so it's not 100% pure. But, but that's okay cuz hazal gave us very important principles to live by. And they said, "Even if you're not 100% pure in your action, so do it because it will lead you to become pure. But, as long as that's what you want. Meaning, if I'm doing something I know it's not 100%, but I want to be 100%. That's beautiful. You'll do it and be ezrat Hashem, you'll get there. If you say, "No, I want to do it just because I want to get, you know, a good name out of it, just because I want to get a good shidduch out of it, just because I want people to If so, if you're doing it for that reason alone and that's why you're doing it, then probably, you know, you would need a great rabbi like you to give her a new a new lesson in how to live life. But, generally speaking, I'm assuming this young lady was not from that group of people. I'm assuming she had a little bit of hana'ah that she probably thinks about while she's doing the hesed. But that doesn't take away from the fact that she's doing a lot of it for the right reason, and with the right intention, Hashem will help her get to be a person who does it because it's the right thing to do. Beautiful. You know, you said before that when you prepare shiurim, you get siyata d'Shmaya, get a special like almost like insight or inspiration. I'm going to tell you what happened, even though I don't usually speak much on these interviews, but I think you'll appreciate it. So I I gave her a totally different answer, just cuz you know, and that's that's okay. The she asked me the question. She didn't ask you the question. So I gave her the following answer. I I said to her, it's a really good question, obviously, you know. I don't know, it's like I'm going to tell you what com- like without researching it, I'm going to tell you what comes to me. Kadosh Baruchu created a world, and there are certain things in the world that the world needs to be able to survive. You need to eat. If you don't eat, you die. You need to exercise. If you're a couch potato, you won't make it very far. The Ribono shel Olam, Hakadosh Baruchu, made this world that the things that are critical are pleasurable and amazingly pleasurable. That's why we eat. We enjoy eating. We're not just taking a pill and swallowing it. Hashem wants you to eat, he makes it pleasurable. Hashem wants you to exercise, he makes it pleasurable. I told her, I says, it says, "Olam hesed yibaneh." The world stands on hesed. In order for people to do hesed, if there's no hesed, there's no world. Hakadosh Baruchu had to make it pleasurable. So the pleasure that you're getting is like the pleasure of eating, the pleasure of breathing, the pleasure of a beautiful sunset. That's not taking away from it. It means you're doing it right. Keeping the world alive. >> You're keeping the world alive. I don't know if it's true. Beautiful. But that was a moment of inspiration Hashem gave me, and that's what I shared with her. >> thought. I never forgot that. Like there's certain, you know, you you listen, you're a rav, you see this. Sometimes people have conversations and you just you remember those moments. You know, I've had hundreds of thousands of conversations. For some reason, okay. Rebbe, I did I think I want to I want to talk about something because I think that many people who are going to read this sefer kodesh, it's going to open them up. But there's a part of our life that I think we never associate with giving. And as a person who researched and gave shiurim on this, I'm sure you have a lot to say about this. For men who see you ask if they're a giver, you know what they think about? Tzedakah. Charity. Chesed. How do you help another person? Compliments even if you're a little bit of more reflective person. But how about our families? How about our families? Does our families make it into the book of the power of givers? What a beautiful question, you know. One of the tragedies of not being a giver is not realizing how much you give. And sometimes when you don't realize how much you actually give, so you don't look at yourself as a giver. And you don't get the benefits of being a giver and growing as a giver. Um I think it I think it's in the book that there there's a story about um you know, one one great rabbi that saw a talmid in Yerushalayim taking his son to the hospital cuz maybe he broke something. He asked the his talmid, "So, tell me where where you going?" He says, "My son got hurt. I'm taking him to the hospital." He says, "So, where are you going?" He says, "I My son got hurt. I'm taking him to the hospital." "Yeah, but where are you going? Or what are you doing?" He says, "Rebbe, I I don't understand. I said it a few times already." He says, "No, you're not taking your son to the hospital. You're involved in an act of kindness for Hashem's child." And that makes a difference. You know, mothers spend so much time with their children. It's not because it's their children. It's you're doing kindness all day long. And somehow when we realize we're doing kindness, our understanding of the situation changes. Our energy changes. You know, I would never write a check and give someone money for no reason. But if you tell me it's kindness, I'm writing the check. And I'm feeling good about it. A mother who thinks she just is taking care of her children is not the same as a mother who's involved in kindness, all of a sudden she's writing the check and she's writing it with simcha. How many people have come over to rabbis, especially ladies, "How can I do more chesed? How can I be more involved? How can I do more?" And so many times you want to just say to them, "You understand how much chesed you're doing every day?" And probably they don't cuz they don't look at so much of what they do. And unfortunately, when we don't see what we do as chesed, it takes away Sure. from the actual meaning of the act. So, no question that that a person who is involved just with their family, their wife, their husband, their children, their parents, their grandparents, their neighbors, right there, it it you don't need to open an organization. If you understand the power of a giver, you don't need to do something grand to become a grand person. But just think about going to work every day. Person works 8-9 hours a day. They could look at it like it's a necessary evil, or every moment that they're at their work, they're raising their their their earning money so that they could give their children a Jewish education, they could give them a beautiful summer experience, they could give them food and clothing. We're constantly giving. That's right. It turns everything into something so much more beautiful. Can we give to Hashem? What a what a beautiful question. Shkoach. What? The obvious answer to that question is no. You know, how could you give to Hashem? Hashem is the source of everything that we have. Anything that we would give him, he already gave us already first. So, it would seem to be impossible to give Hashem. But yet, you know, Hazal tell us that uh a zeal Hasid, who is a a you know, person of Hesed is a person with Hesed in Kono. Someone who does kindness with his creator. So, if Hazal didn't tell us this, we wouldn't have the audacity to even think about it. We And probably you knew this already and that's why you asked me. You would You wouldn't have even asked me that question. So, But I wanted to hear what you have to >> Right. No, no, I know I understand. So, I'm saying, you see like it's it's such a such a like it's a foreign thought. But yet, Hazal come and tell us this beautiful way of looking at life that somehow Hashem considers it. For sure, we can't give him. But in his humility and in his kindness, he considers what we do as a kindness to him. And that kindness is that he loves us. And because he loves us, he wants to reward us. He wants to give us siyata dishmaya. He wants to give us bracha. He wants to give us beautiful children. He wants to give us parnassa. He wants to give us hochma. He wants to give us everything. But the world is a world of free choice. And if we give him the ability to reward us, so, we're just that's called doing kindness with Hashem. It's giving a father the enjoyment of blessing his children. And they say schar mitzvah mitzvah. Right? The reward of a mitzvah is a mitzvah. There are a number of explanations to that, but one of the explanations is that the reward, not only when you do a mitzvah, it's a mitzvah, but the fact that Hashem is rewarding you, and you're giving him the ability to reward you, it's also a mitzvah. You're giving Hashem that pleasure. As we say, "Tenu oz Elohim." Give Hashem the strength. How do I give Hashem strength? Give him the ability to give you. He left you to you. He left your choice to yourself, and he needs you, kavyakhol, to make a good choice, so he can shower you with all the love and all that comes out of it. So, what what a concept, living our lives and no matter what we do, whether it's a tfilah or it's or it's learning or anything between ben adam l'makom, one would never think that hesed plays a role in that, and it it's it's a huge part of being a baal hesed, being a giver. What what made you think of of writing a book on on hesed on on on the power of a giver? Was there a conversation that you had? Were you lying in bed one night and you're like, "Okay, what's the next power that I'm doing over here?" I I I don't I don't think it was anything, uh, you know, wild that came. It's It's It's obvious that in any sphere of life, in any area of life, what you bring to the table is going to make all the difference. You know, people they get married, the biggest difference of a good marriage or not is the person. It's, you know, we work on, you know, technique and, you know, in teaching, you know, should I say it this way, should I say it that way, and then and it's all important and it's all part of the hishtadlut that we make, but there's no greater part of the classroom than the person who's coming to teach. And being a giver is is is Hashem-like. Hashem is most known to us in his giving. Look how Look at the world that he showered us with. So, we know him mostly by his giving. And if a person becomes that, then he transforms every conversation, every classroom, every relationship. So, this has to be, you know, I don't know what number importance got to be for every person, the biggest tell me the simplest person, the youngest, the oldest, who can't become something of this and can't use it to elevate every area of their life. When I say the word giver, which person comes into your mind? Was there a particular person that you involved were involved with in your many years of that you've had that person was such a giver. So, I I I would I would say that that answer that question can be answered by every person. I'm sure any any person that would sit here would say their mother. Mhm. And the book is it's it's a little dish must be your mother. Yes, it is. Yes. And she was a giver. It says it in the book. Yes, that was a good friend of mine David had it and his wife wanted to honor my mother. So, they sponsored a book and I really love that by the way. That isn't that a nice thing to give someone? You give the guy a check. What does that do? The check's gone. But you give him the ability to write a book for in memory of his mother? That's such a nice gift. It's very special. So, it's appropriate. So, I'm sure that my mother and his mother and her mother and everybody would say, "My mother is is is the is the quintessential giver." father, grandparents, brothers, sisters, wife. Um so, that's an obvious answer to because the people around us are usually the ones that capture our attention in this area. Especially when we read the book and we realize how much of what they were doing was under the umbrella of giving. And sometimes we don't see that cuz they're like our parents, they're they're our wife, they're our But then you see what they're what's going on and you realize what they are. So after reading the book, I think you could even appreciate more that it answered to that question. But you know, there obviously have been some outside images in my life of people that are givers, I would say you know even though I didn't have a personal close relationship with him, but not since we think of him with with with standing out >> as a as a as a giver, you know. You can't define anything about him other than than just living for cloudy style and and the way he did it and what it took to do it and there's no other way to explain how he was able to do it except that he had that capability of who he was. And so they are, you know, great Rosh Yeshivas. >> And based on your book, that's the definition of a godol. A great person is something And you have a whole piece on becoming great. And becoming great is is doing chesed with other people. >> Right. That's our our gedolim in in in cloudy style, our gedolim are the people who have a big heart, which means they have a lot of people in it and they worry and they care. And it's something that each person can aspire to. Someone reads this book and they're inspired. And they want to become a giver. What's the first thing they should do? Probably the first opportunity given. You know, the the the book has so many different aspects of giving in so many ways and so to so many people. There's no way you can read the book and get up and not have an immediate opportunity to give someone in your family, someone in your shul, someone on your block. Hashem It is You could say a perek of Tehillim. You already uh You already gave. >> gave. That What you bring up is is super super powerful. Like you don't have to give someone something material. That's not only giving. If you daven for somebody, that's beautiful chesed. You know, especially now with what's going on and we say Tehillim after after davening. And and there's a tendency to walk out because people are in a rush and they have to go to work and some of them are not Jewish. Imagine taking a moment and saying, "I'm going to I'm going to do something for them. I can't do it. What can I do for the people in Eretz Yisrael and those bomb shelters?" But but I want to do something for them. So, say a perek of Tehillim with with concentration and focus. Absolutely. >> Such a powerful thing. Very powerful. Is there a particular person in Tanakh I know I know that in the book that there's so much Torah, so much beautiful Torah in here. But person or person in Tanakh that like we need to emulate if we want to become a giver. That's a That's a hard question to answer because it would be giving uh one person >> one person over the other. Obviously, the examples of the Torah of Avraham Avinu and and Yossef and and Moshe Rabbeinu and and uh probably This is a very hard question to answer because in every great person, they had to be You don't get there if you if you're not a giver. So, you know, you can't be a Yitzchak and you can't be a Yaakov and you can't be anything if you don't have this, you know? So, that question could be answered, you know, who who learned more Torah, who who understood more in this area, who had an expertise in that field. But in the world of giving, uh you know, I don't know. I don't know that you can identify. Obviously, Hazal tell us that Avraham was Ish Chesed and we understand that. But as far as from our perspective, any great person had to have had that capability and that life. Otherwise, they would not be where they were and what they became. So, if somebody is contemplating on buying the book, they're not sure if they should buy The Power of a Giver, they should buy The Power of Simcha. What's the what The Power of Simcha? Keep going. There's a bunch of them. >> Tranquility. Tranquility. Chinuch. Chinuch. One, two. What's the first safer they should they should buy? Which one I mean the the options are endless, baruch Hashem. What's the first book they should start with? Right now, in my mind is this one. Okay. So, if you're watching this and you're in the store right now and there's a whole section of The Powers of you want to buy The Power of the Giver, correct? I think I think it they it'll definitely take you to every other book. Once you learn how to give, you want to give chinuch, you want to be able to do all the right things. Rabbi, this this has been a great host. Thank you for giving this I don't know if you ever thought about that. You gave Am Yisrael a gift. This book. And the opportunity for other people to follow what you did, which is you gave everyone the opportunity to become a giver. That's not pashut. You know what I say? You give a You give a guy a fish, you give him a meal. You teach him how to fish, you give him a parnassah, you give him a livelihood. So, yasher koach. Chazak ubaruch. >> Thank you. Hashem should continue to give you opportunities to teach Amen. so that you can write so that we can read. Thank you. I appreciate it. Thank you. >> Yasher koach. Thank you so much for your time. This was great to see you. >> was great being here. You know, they they say that a great rabbi spoke to a big crowd of people. He says, "I hope that these words will have an influence on myself." And uh I think something that a person should always remember is that the biggest beneficiary of something like this is the person himself. So, the more I think about what is written here and the more I realize how much I have to do. So, it's a gift for klal Yisrael, but really it's a gift for the individual as well. That's me. Yasher koach. Well, thank you for that gift. >> Thank you.