R’ Zalmen Schmukler — I’m Not Alone

[music] Welcome to Inside Art Scroll, where the books that we read and the people that write them come to life. Fascinatingly enough, today we don't have an author. We actually have a character, somebody who is a big part of this absolutely magnificent book called I'm Not Alone, written by Reva Pomerance, but it's really the story of your mother, Aloha Hashalam. Um, an amazing amazing person. I read this book. I couldn't put it down. And one thing that just kept coming up over and over and over was her rock solid amuna her and so take us back a little bit. You don't have to share with us the whole book. What are your earliest memories? Because in the book you're literally born. What are your earliest memories of your mother of the being in Russia? earliest memories are that I was born in in in Koutayis that's in Kafkas Georgia and uh it so happened that my father was uh wanted by the KBG because he was a member of the Kabad community >> the yeshiva >> yeah the yeshiva so he ran way to Georgia. This was far away. Like it's still Russia but not in [snorts] in front of their eyes. And there I was born and u and when I was actually a year and 8 months, my father was taken to the Russian army and he was killed by the Germans in Marshmall. So my mother was left alone with two little children, me like a year and eight months and then my brother is 6 months old. >> And as you'll see in the book, she wasn't left in an easy situation. >> No, there was literally there was she had no food, no job, nothing. And so she literally went [snorts] to the marketplace and went running around in the garbage and trying to find some food. And uh and maybe because of that, you know, mean we [clears throat] [laughter] we have a healthy, like you say, healthy body because we had to eat the the leaves, the greens of the radishes that the farmers threw out. So I used to eat and cry because it was bitter, but there was no food. So this was and then like in the book you see her mysterious nephesh literally putting your life in danger choose to be able to get some bread you know you know and and under these circumstances I was brought up and uh when I remember that like actually a year later after the war my grandfather my father's father and his wife and a daughter escaped from Lenigrad from the Germans and they were swollen from hunger and they came to our house and she took the minutes of one room and it's going to be funny to say but my aunt like a step and not really full there was no room to sleep so I was a little child and I slept together with te in the bed in that time there was no pampers so she used to tell me you made me always [laughter] sweat. >> I mean I I mean this was the circumstances >> you know it's unbelievable. So but uh and then I remember as a little child actually I loved my grandfather. He was very seldom at home because he was literally traveling all over collecting money for the underground dish. It was unbelievable the serious snish. [snorts] So, but I loved him and and there was no food. So, I used to save some of my food and I remember this putting under the pillow so when he comes home we should have some food. This was four years old. You know, [laughter] >> that was it was really it. So it and then uh the escaping from Russia, you know, false papers, Polish papers, all this >> and that also was such an incredible story. You have to read the book. >> Yeah. You know, unbelievable. And then when we came to lodge to Poland, so I my mother knew Polish because she was born in Kenovo this near the Polish border and it was exchanged many times. So she spoke Polish. So the Jewish organizations, everybody was from Russia and really weren't so many Polish Jews. So they asked her to help them to to attend to certain things you know. So I remember still is I see it in front of my eyes. I was very attached to my mother. I mean I was six years old you know you have only one mother no father. >> No father right >> and no no other relatives you know strangers. So I she was going to take like a Uber. It was called a fight, a horse and buggy, you know, and I was screaming, you know, mommy, don't leave me alone, you know, take me. She couldn't. So, I would lay down on the street. I remember. And I still see the people and the policeman standing over me, you know, a child screaming and everything. And the nest was I I spoke only Georgian. So I was trying to blackmail my mother, >> but they didn't understand, >> right? And I said to my mother, I'm going tell them we're Russians because we knew already, you know, and that was, you know, so but nobody understood and she left. So it was uh so this is the way I brought up and then the >> Can I stop you just for one second? >> Sure. >> If you read the book, your mother had countless lives. every time that she should have been arrested, killed, sent to Siberia, somehow she pulls through, which it doesn't seem like this book is a story of one person. Could be the story of 10 or 20 people. But one thing was always there, one thread was constantly there. And that's a statement, a phrase that she kept saying how she believes in the rebal. Where do you get a young person whose husband is dead, who has no food, who's raising two little kids and trying to help everyone else and life keeps becoming more and more difficult, but her ammuna becomes stronger. Where did she get that from? >> Okay. So I myself tried to analyze you know as a human being where did my mother get you know such a not just a but she was like sure confidence that Hashem will take you like with them when we had to cross the border she said we had no papers someone took away your papers and everything she's going where you going they arrest you by the border and like It's not even in the book but the so smart gave you such they used to check you on the on the train itself before the border to make sure you have the papers. Okay. So right before the conductor came to check the inspector, she [snorts] went over to one lady from the lady and asked her to borrow your papers for 10 minutes. She gave it. Then she went over to everyone in the in the in in the the train and said, "Is this the right papers? I don't know. Is this the right papers?" to everyone. Is this the right? Yeah. Yeah, this right right? Then she gave her back the papers. Now when the the inspector came to ask for the papers, she had no papers. So she said, "Wait, I lost. I don't know where it is. Ask everybody. I just had the papers." And the guy went around asking everybody said, "Yeah, we saw just before we saw with the papers." I mean to give such it's not in the book but I'm just saying the riess and and the pinch you know to to and I mean and it's it's you know it's now I was trying to analyze it and it was interesting I saw in the [snorts] he writes that what is the foundation of what gives a person between and he says Hashem meaning not that you love Hashem that Hashem loves you >> and he explains very down to earth he says when you take two people he says and you you you you want to create like you say a a trust and everything how you going to create a trust it's only if you know that that person has unconditional love to you. He's not out for himself. He's there for you. And therefore, you would trust him fully. And not just trust, but you you know that that person loves you and he has compassion for you. And that is divine pony upon him. He will develop by you a love to that person. He says and so he says that when a Jew knows that Hashem loves him unconditional he says there this is what gives you if you so so but if he says you don't have that outlook he says and you think that Hashem is the you know he's the boss you know so if you mess up what happens you you get you get punished, you get fired. So he said what happens is that people that don't have this outlook on on on on lie on on the relation with Hashem. So when they get punished they say, "Oh, I did wrong. Hashem hates me. Hashem, you hear it from people that something happens. God hates I did something wrong. I did." And if God forbid, you know, things get worse and worse, they say, "Oh, Hashem rejected me. He want doesn't want to have nothing to do with me." And therefore, he says, "What happens is that you give up and you give up on everything, not just on your relationship with Hashem, but it comes to me." I said, "What difference does it make? Hashem hates me anyway. So let me at least enjoy life. You know, you know, he's going to die anyway. So let me enjoy life. So So therefore he says is so important to know and that's it is so ise not that you love loves you. >> And did she always what did she always call in the book? What did she call my father? If a if a person and this is by nature a little child as long as he can his father is holding him he knows that the father is there he feels he does he's not afraid of anybody you know so her upbringing the way a little bit in the in the story but not everything it was it was a person that instilled in her >> her father >> yeah ingrained in her she your mother passed away. She was 7 years old. Ingredient here, Hashem loves you. And not just Hashem loves you. You know, it's a handout. But Hashem admires you. He gives you a he [snorts] empowers you. You are so special to him. You're like a partner with him in this whole enterprise. You [snorts] you're so when a person realizes me who am I you know you know like in in in in a way Hashem is always to understand the godless Hashem how great Hashem is before he dab and the shiftless hello who am I so and that that Hashem wants to have a relationship with me I mean I'm baffled I I I don't know what how to express my thanks Thanks to Hashem. So, so this is what he instilled in her [snorts] such a importance that in the not everything is there in the book but such importance. There's a beautiful story with with with about the way he expresses that she's about smell like she's a princess and Hashem wants her to dress like a princess. She's special, you know. I mean, it it made everything lifted it up and and and built it up, you know. So, this is um like a little thing he would take her to, it's not in the book to kiss the muza. There's only a few misus in the house. was a small house. But he used to tell it before you kiss the muza take your hand put it on your heart and then take the hand and put it there. In other [snorts] words, it's your heart. It's not just give a kiss your hand. Your heart feel your heart should be there. >> Beautiful. >> And so he he instilled in her. and she grew up with such a pride that she's a she has an isome she's Jewish that everything else was meaningless and it's worthless so to her to bring up her children [clears throat] that was her goal and if you see through the her whole life she remarried again and who did she marry this and she was a beautiful very outgoing going a lively woman. I mean there were so many propositions she had. I mean with money and everything. She says what's my goal in life? I have a mission and the mission is to break up my children and and you know it's and when she actually when my brother was going to the hoop my brother is younger. I was married a year before going to Kooper. So now we're independent, you know, we're already established from Eden. So she said to reen I'm ready take him back. I finished my job, >> my mission. >> I finished my mission that she felt it wasn't that there's me and I know and I have some work to do. My whole being is that I am a a ambassador from Hashem to to do as a mission for Hashem and I finished my mission. I brought my children now I can go but it seems Hashem had for more work. [laughter] You know when I read the book there's I something struck me over and over. You know, we're so fortunate. We have so much. Life is so good. And yet we and we struggle and even like you were saying and yet you could have a person that has nothing. Absolutely nothing. She has one thing. You know what she feels? I'm not alone. And that was worth more than everything we have. And I feel like today's generation, we need to read these books cuz what are we really? Who are we really? Everything goes away. What's left? This is what was what should be left. Can I ask you a question? Do you remember like you know getting your mother got remarried and you moved to Cap Denmark? Where did you move? >> Uh Sweden. >> You moved to you moved to Sweden and then and then your stepfather is Nifter and then your mother gets remarried again and then her husband is Nif. Do you remember like the loss and how she coped with with so much? On one hand, she did a lot of great things, but these people were people who she had such respect and love for and then to just the third husband in her life. >> She was a very not just unselfish, a very humble person because she was a very mentally very smart, very sharp, >> brilliant. It's unbelievable. >> Brilliant. I I know people that you know were very they were afraid to have a conversation with you because she would put them right away and instantly I mean it was unbelievable. It's not she had to think instantly she had an answer you know she had but because of that she really was able to I would say project and see the the the inside the premise of everything. So she wasn't get doesn't get didn't get carried away with external things you know. So when she married Robert Hikin the second husband there was nothing I would say externally attractive or anything. There was no money there was I mean >> there were children a whole household of children >> not just that chiplat children we had to we were sent back to Paris to Shiva because there was no education in Sweden. So here she's getting married that the children should have a father and now the children are sent back to yeshiva. So she used to cry every night [clears throat] because this was her life but she took it like we know such a cabola sale if this is my mission I have to do it. So she she went through a lot of pain, a lot of crying as a human being. It's the only human. But the core was so strong that this over overlapped over everything, you know, and so she had the biggest respect and admiration because he was such a him, such a fine person that you would think that she's in love with him. I mean, by her this was the the person. It was nothing else. The person was his tail. His adal kite meas the midas that what to hear was important and he possessed it and when she when he passed away she was devastated devastated like in the book actually when she came into the reb after and and she was crying. She said the reb was crying together with her. very but the idea is that she was and then when she the reb push it didn't want to marry bishop may finish wasn't you know but the reb pushed it pushed it and the reb like a a shotgun tried to convince her it's going to be good and happy and she really had the most beautiful years in her life and >> in her third her third marriage >> third third marriage and uh She I would have said she she I would she really like say loved him you know you know and the respect and you could think they're honeymoon honeys you know like they just you know got married so it she was able to I would say like I said connect with the essence of the person and this is with everybody it was with children. When she played with children, she was able to go down to their level. Even with Gohar Salmon, she was black >> and in chronites and who who was going to give her attention. My mother used to invite me for a cup of tea and give her support. She was crying when she passed away. She was crying like you know she had for every human being like she was by us in Los Angeles and she wanted to go to Tijana there to new to Mexico is near Los Angeles and so we get bargains there whatever and she liked to travel. She was very outgoing and very peppy. So my wife gave her sanishes and everything, you know, the whole day. She comes back and she says, "I'm starving. I'm hungry." My wife says, "I packed you up. I packed you up." She says, "Rael them." My wife is raised. She says, "Rael, I saw the poor children. I gave them away the food." [laughter] That's what of a type of a person she was. She was >> very giving Em is a you know a truthful and this is like I said she believed that you're connected to Hashem and if you're connected to Hashem you know everybody I want to ask you one final one final question you know every n every miracle that she went through really enabled you to be here today >> and Kanara if you look at the end of the book there's Dyus there's generations There's children, there's grandchildren, there's great grandchildren, I think. Um, do you do you live with that mission and do you tell your children and your bin to Ben that they need to understand what she went through and all the NISM are of them? They obligate them to to continue her legacy. Is that something that you live with and that you constantly try to push further? I I'll tell you it's not you know it's not that I want to speak about myself but she automatically ingrained not by telling me what to do that I look on life that the Gashmies you know I mean >> materialism >> I tell you I had five children I didn't have money to buy bread in Canada nobody knew you would think I was depressed I was depressed the rape show I I didn't feel I was never happy tell it the truth and I'm not trying to materialism never meant anything you know this this you know I mean and to me I'll be honest like my mother it it it is in the jeans like you say is to to go and light you know to like say you know mention [clears throat] you know mention You know so that's the that's the dream and and bashem thanks god in his house and others see him you know that work the king there you know is you know shall continue you know is that what my children do I that they do is >> amazing you should have nas from your children from the dyus they should continue to keep her a legacy alive. >> And to anyone who wants to read a book that's going to change their life, a book that's meaningful, a book that, by the way, is continuing to be a bestseller month after month after month, buy the book. I'm not alone. I don't want to say I'm going to give you a money back guarantee, but I don't think anyone could put this book down after finishing this book and walk away the same person. So, thank you for for the gift of this book and the story. But what I want is just one point is that >> uh >> she never felt that it's her >> and she felt that everyone can tap into this and the truth is I say I I feel that what actually is why is it so popular and is because we all have our our our our problems and everything And we feel sometimes like we give up and say, "Ah, this is the life and nothing will change." And but reading the book, you see that here's a plain woman. She didn't she didn't have Jewish education. She didn't go to school or anything. And they come she went to communist school and everything that anybody should know. That's what the book is that Hashem loves you no matter what. Unconditional. We are his children. >> Beautiful. And and that's the thing and that is what inspires everybody because it lifts up. Like I said, this book is a very sad book. You cry. Everybody told me they cried. >> Oh, I cried a lot. >> So So if you cry, why would it lift you up? It would put you down. But it's it's not a crying. It's a crying of your own from your heart. It's not about her. It's you're crying for yourself and and you're being encouraged and and and and and get empowered that I can get out of it and Hashem is there for me for coming all the way from Los Angeles. Really appreciate it was a treat to meet you and lots of thank you. >> [music] [music]