Inside ArtScroll - Season 5 Episode 8: Rav Reuven Feinstein

[Music] A special thank you to the Rashiva for taking the time to sit with us here in his home in honor of the release of the brand new Hagada Reproving Finand a published by Art Scroll. So first of all, thank you for the time. It's a big pleasure. Thank you. Um as I said a mazav on this beautiful publication written by the Rashiva's an Rabis and whoever has seen the Hagod has remarked how beautifully it's written and how insightful it is and like I mentioned to Rashiva before this conversation I was just surprised that it hadn't been published before because so much of what's in here is part of what the Rashiva grew up with with the Rashiva's father Raosa and uh things that have been passed down over the generations. Um, in a in a nutshell, what would the Rashiva say is the goal of this that the Rashiva would want people to take out of it? I think that the point is to apply it to their lives now and to figure and to see the in their own personal lives right now. We're actually figure finding ourselves in if you really think about it's 1930s again and uh that the whole world is against us. It doesn't make a difference whether in America or everything else and the same thing existed when we were in Nazi Germany. Roosevelt was against the Yidden and he didn't let the Jews into out into America. England and led using soil. The whole world is against us. I don't know. We have a guarantee that it's he's always with us. Whatever that means and we see how we grew and claims it always had great influence even in when they were discriminated completely. they have to become to become but they but they were the Israeli or other people who became mameishim in in in their countries and they were Jews and then and you the most despised people in the world so like how is it that that's obviously whatever he has in planned for us and we see that now also that growing up in ina's father's house in Mosha's house. Was there any component of the seder or pes in particular that you remember as being very unique? See, it's hard to call unique because to me that was normal. Uhhuh. That's what I'm saying about you. And people ask me to tell them stories about my father. How can I say then tell me a story about your father and they laugh and they said like yeah but I say because same thing I only had one father. I have no other. I can't compare him to anything else. So therefore I can't really but more let's say more specifically by the seder did did say a lot of a lot of we were all he was open to all questions. Mhm. And uh and whatever it is and he said a few times over the years it was a different point. didn't say the same thing over every year. Same different idea every year. But it was about three four different places in Diago that he would talk about it and the different things every year. Yeah. And we would and as I say and we would all ask whatever we wanted so it doesn't make a difference. And I don't even remember if the put it there if I would have remembered it. In Ramosha's house was Dikman stolen. Yes. We we we we would steal it. Uh the most reward we get from Mr. was a guest always by and he always came for us my my we he had a few guests. We had a few harmonas as we see that would eat that sed with us and uh he would be with us and his was a tako one that was worth money. The others were not worth anything but the mindset was it kept the interest we were hiding got I I I show in I think in the I think it's discussed that we found a different method of keeping the kids up without going into right right right describes how everyone seems different parts of things they act right whatever this still does obviously I don't have the say by me anymore I'm the guy that goes to my kids now. Bel uh I go to two different I have three kids living in a neighborhood. I go to two a year. So thing do and uh before then maybe going back 10 15 years ago we would still have everybody by by about 40 50 people. I mean but but now it's it's just a fair but they already have that many people. So very interestingly the rashiva describes in this hagada how he used to sit next to his father next to Mosa. Sounds like the rashiva had the seat of honor next to the next to I found it fascinating the discussion here in the I encourage everyone who buys a to read this. At the bottom of some of the pages, the Rashiva discusses Minhogen of the family and the Rashiva describes how Ra Mosha had two matzas and the Rashiva has two matzas which Minagra right and uh but the Rashiva's brother Davidid sitting over there he would sit over there he he he had three matas right and the Rashiva goes on to describe how never said anything to about it I'll tell you even on that if you really want to is an interesting part or how much he had trust in us. I can't answer that. Um I assume my brother had three because they've been in the class you know you have to have a three and every uh has three things there. So you know it's three cup okay but could be I don't know. Uhhuh. my father would not correct it. In other words, because that means we're passing two. We're not passing two. But we have I can't tell you what is three. There's no there's no two is right, three is wrong. The same thing applies uh to to film on PES [Music] where benching benching. So, uh he would tell us if the wine is on the table and the case is on the table, you bench with it. If it's off the table, do not bring it. Mhm. Because whatever you'll do is shot your puskining like somebody. I tell you we're not take it off the table means you're telling me it wasn't without it. And if you tell me to bring it, you tell me about with it. So therefore it had to be if you plan right then and if you plant like because you had a minion or chev was different because that you had to do anyway. But I'm saying but if if you was a minion want to bring your case make sure it's wine's going to be on the table. Yeah. Don't very interesting. Now what was what made? So uh when I got my mitzvah and this was the reason why I was able to change that's what I'm trying to tell you. Um when we film my father when I got mitzvah told me uh you'll go after the minion the the mini go okay this first couple of years I left an MTJ so we put on film then uh they didn't have a minion one year they had the boys about but they didn't have the I was talking about we had to go to Chicago they haven't spelled and they did not with film. So I didn't put on film and didn't put on either. No, he didn't. He wasn't there. I don't I don't remember why he wasn't there, but he wasn't there. And he never told me that when you get home, you put on the film. Mhm. Okay. So I didn't put on film at that two, three years we were there and didn't put on then we came back to MTJ. We got it back at the minion, came back and at the minion they were down with my father and seven people are wearing filming and the rest of the people are not made film. Uhhuh. So I didn't put on film. I saw my brother didn't put on film so I didn't put on film. My father didn't put on film. He did or he did not. He did. He did even though there wasn't a minion of his follow in his film. No, I don't know if it's because I'm not getting involved in that. Anyway, my brother-in-law, one year, my brother-in-law is in town, my my cha tendler, and he's dabbing with us and he and he calls me up. I remember we just finished breakfast and the thing he calls me up and he says, you know, your father's very upset with you that you don't wear film now. I said, why why do you say that? He told me goofy you know think there said he goes I asked them how come you w film your kids said no don't w film say you don't know and everything else they follow me and they still they still don't follow me I don't mean nothing so I called my brother right away said call you he says yeah and then I didn't have to say more than that the next day we both wz and that's that's the way it's been from then on now what was the reason that I again once we he's telling us he must pass in that way. No, he had a sophie since he don't have a m he held had to wear because then he has to wait to but one has a minute has a min since we were to we thought he he we shouldn't be wearing according what he told us and then we found out that he wasn't telling us that so that we were able to put it on again. What did he mean when he first I did that much I didn't ask you my I never questioned my father about why he said it the way I guess maybe he thought I would understand I can't no more than that I can't really say but as far as the matis and the matis say that I don't know how my brother got off track but but same but the same reason lays behind it because that's why didn't say anything right so once he's going to tell you take it away that means I'm asking you even though the that's true right now you can ask me this I part I don't know for sure that we may not have what do I mean because his z was a right his father became a godic went to that describing the the condition in the in the for the wedding was that he become we go to and when he went to he became a goric even though he was the dian everything but he was a gonic. So he did whatever he washed before before kiddish all that stuff and the thing over there and then the sh does do some things like the but does do some things not like the so he also is is so therefore no no one established the mishb so therefore I guess that's another reason why maybe wasn't makit on on the thing do there because my brother definitely had different in arguing certain things right and stuff like that and uh it's fine you can do whatever you want I mean and so I'm saying but you're naive or anything because we never had a minute right which other notable minhagiro did follow like you said the two did he wash before kadesh no no this we did not do that I I can't really give you anything I think we just was normal But most of them because they're uh but the the grandmother is from the brothers. That's the gobb that's his mother. Mhm. That she used to be from the from God's brother. So what do you call some say their name was the villowits. I don't there was seven their main main there was seven in one the in one okay now a lot of the discussion in in this and in regards to the seder in general is it's a night of and um you know I would love to hear especially Nowadays what what does the Rashiva feel the key is in in reaching children not only on the lea but in general especially with all the challenges that exist and then we discussed before you know nowadays there are children within our system who aren't connecting and um sometime they connect later on what what advice could Rashiva share just in a few minutes yeah they should talk to them simply talk to them we in in Vayasan family this not by my father this is my father was always open to whatever we wanted to talk about but we never had to talk about anything but so you understand so it's not a wasn't a point but with my kids they can ask me anything in the world now with f by the shabistish we did not and I had guests all the time wasn't point there was no joy there it was an open discussion of whatever ever you want to talk about and then anything you want anything you want and what that way you're not pushing it down your son's throat or children's throat it's something they hear what you believe and whatever it is there but you have to have give and take so it was a point of they would present always the if they had any difficulties during the week if there was anything the rebi said or something and we would discuss it and so it's like Now I uh my uh there are people that actually use the for that at the table to spark conversation to start a conversation they they they take it little one piece like it's written in in a way in the are written even though the the thing was said in one time but he bro he broke it down when he did it into two three p one two three pages pieces and an idea and they're saying and and that's what do you think about this and and then people offer opinions and stuff like that that the way you bring your kid out get them to understand what you're talking about like this otherwise you're always going to be yelling you know you didn't do this you didn't do that and whatever it is and that's not the and and you're not going to be successful either so it doesn't make a difference but if they you talk and he hears who he who who would do it and I t because of that this is my vay part is that this what say you should learn with with with kids right he said so what what do people do they learn one p and then they go to par and then and they steal from the kids the whole if they would learn with the bis there wouldn't be a thief in because because they would learned that a thief is that the gives you everything and whatever and and if and you're more about if you think you can steal take something that God doesn't want to give you and the things that and once you know that I don't have to steal when and it's ingrained in me so then why should I steal I wouldn't even look for a head to to fool a guy would not forget about stealing stealing maybe go about everyone feels you know a little cheating or something That seems to be mot. It's not mot and feels you get that more from safer than safe. Yeah. Even though safer bracious is the side of but by the time the kid gets to that he doesn't know but you're right but the won't have they first get you'll get these things you get but you first get it up to when you're in and if you started with maybe you would be something you start with the first class is till maybe the second one is maybe start so first and third grade this way if you would have started right away the first grade and explaining the things and in the day I took duck at 12 lessons or something I don't remember how many I think it's 12 I think that you could explain to little kids and you'll see if you would explain these things to them then they'll be the first and it means the wholeish if you would learn with them and they think that give them the ideas the trust and a kid is curious and they also have they're also by me they think they have take become you have to grow out of being a mimeman that's the thing so they would have they would have been they would have been good kids and and that's what we we we killed in a certain extent right and uh saying and I think the problem with this I do this really at the time conventions they always hack my Chinese about about there every kid comes home with a a book like it like this and uh I didn't let them by me it says he got to didn't say he got to I said I said and I tell them you really feel something's important to be said email it and they I don't even know how to email but but they do email it to all the parents in the school that this should be discussed at the shabas table don't have the kid say it you want to say I understand that's why you're teaching the kid but teach it to the parents to be able to give it over to the kid not to the kid to give it over to appearance. So what is the the advising at a seder? We have multiple children around the table. Everyone comes with their from their from their and they all want to say and there's only a certain amount of time and they want to make and so on and so forth. What would the two pieces? It's not in there. I thought it was everyone is a title to two pieces. Two pieces. One one though has to be say I think you'll read it. Uhhuh. And you have to feel that it's important for me to know it. If you can't if you don't either one of the two, don't do it. Don't say it. Uhuh. And that's that's the rule. Uhhuh. That's the rule defin. Uhhuh. Now the the lea seder is known also as a night of of tremendous Yeshua. It's been brought down especially in recent years. people there there's a school by by people yell out and and and they want to be to whatever Yeshu they need in various areas we we discussed but the and and you know let's say in likeim there are many many people out there who who are waiting for the zooim and and many of them wait for the seder to to cry out for the Yeshua what what could I ask we didn't have that so I can't answer you they didn't they No, I don't remember. That's a recent phenomenon. Maybe could be that I can't answer you. But the gather's advice. I usually tell it to some of the uh the boys, the girls. It doesn't make a difference anymore. Once I told it to the boys, she was telling it to the boys that when you go on a date, you have to go on a date as if you're going to buy a suit. Well, you need a suit. What does that mean? you know, and the one that made me really think about it was I told it over was push I was talking to a younger ba and nothing I'm saying says does anything to him and finally I said I'll tell you what my mother used to say and and I told him he get got engaged about two three weeks later and he comes back to you what you told me changed my whole attitude of how I'm going what he do what I do I Remember I used to go to Sims. You remember Sims? Okay. Okay. Panic at time 50% off. An educated consumer, right? The educated best customer, right? That was Sims. I came I came to buy the suit. I only was to buy one suit a year. So 50% off. I'm going to get maybe I'll get a second suit this year. And I went to Sims to get the suit. I never bought one. I said why? I looked at it. I said it will be a drop darker that won't be good a drop lighter or the stripe with this whatever that time we still wore stripes and still wore white suits and all that kind so how come how come and yet you time if I would see the same suit I would say what a beautiful suit what is my attitude I said if you don't need something you're looking at the if you need something you look at the mightless It's not a compromise. I'm not compromising my values. It's just how your attitude of how you look at something. And that was a different thing which he told him. And therefore, each one should look at the other one with that kind of an eye. Mhm. It's not going to be perfect. It's not going to be what he called it is, but it's not going to be because certain things aren't important. I used to give this m to my own when they started to go out and the first time it was in the observer wrote it to what's the thing what was the thing I I asked them once what do you talk about on a date and they would tell me oh shash this I said okay very nice t I I hear that why don't you talk about the important things of life so they ask you What's the important things in life? I said, "Do you sleep with the window open when the window closed? Do you s when you drive in the car, do you sit with the air conditioner on or off? Uh, or do you squeeze the toothpaste? Do you squeeze it for the middle of the tube? What do you do you leave the cup off the back?" And they all started to laugh. Okay. I ask them, "Why are you laughing?" They said, "It's not important." I said, "You think what you just told me? He just told me, "You don't bother risking because it's not important. If it's not important, then I was never going to be a fight for the future. It can never be a fight." And uh and the help once show happened. I'm saying this is the point that I tried to talk to people when I talk to them, figure out how to get dates, how to get this. It's okay. That's that's it. see is it uh we we don't even look at our own what chaius we have to be able to get them look at the neighborhood look at the things look who lived in the neighborhood who who was a nice little boy at 5 years old who doesn't live here anymore where is he stuff like that and find out and then things all of a sudden you find you know there are people in the world we can talk to people we can track down and it's not it's not what he called presentation. So it goes Mhm. as as we wrap up the conversation and again thank you to Rashiva for the time and uh and this tremendous any final words of for people who are watching and listening as we approach the best I guess as I I point out in the thing that that it's really for all time it's not just for we're now going through in a way to we have to in all the Toras that we have and to realize everything is from him whatever it is our Yeshua all from him why he's doing it we should always be an effect on us but without kindness with everything this is our of our time and how we grow for it to next month amen thank you so much [Music]