Inside ArtScroll Season 2 Episode 2: Rav Yaakov Bender’s New Sefer – and His Belief in Every Pers...

[Music] Hello everyone and welcome back to inside art scroll. Today we are privileged to be joined by Haravyakab Bender Rashiva of Yeshiva and Farakawway. Thank you Rashiva for joining us. Pleasure. My pleasure. Special Yashuk because I know this might be a little out of the Rashiva's comfort zone. It's good. So we appreciate you. I am for years arts girl. They ask I do finished. Well, we thank you very much and I should mention right away that we are here primarily or initially to discuss the rashiva's new safer on that's going to be coming out shortly. Our scroll is very excited and I'm sure that uh readers will be very excited when they pick it up. Yeah, they are the okay to see some of it and it's really phenomenal. So, let's get into that first. How did this safer evolve? What is it based on? and uh you know give us a little insight into how the cafer was compiled for years and years and I give and I I work a lot and um other people asked me why don't you write it down so finally I decid I'm going to write so I started writing kesh first but that's a mammoth job for me that's going to be uh very very large take me a long time so I figured in the meantime let's put out something in English with the ideas of the that I like to push a little bit ideas of of of musanimashi is almost not a forgotten heart. But if we realize what we can get out of rashi, he really really taught us how to take apart a rashi. And I find being rashi with the rashies for the last many many many years, you find things that are diamonds. They're really gold. And and that's what I like to try to do. So I noticed that in a lot of the rashiven they're peppered with stories from the rashivas and shiva burrney feldman and others. And it's very unique because many of these people I think rebellious as well who the Rashiv is with later on many of these people are not necessarily um covered in contemporary stories most people have you know stories about a lot of typical stories but a lot of these stories and anecdotes are things that I haven't seen anywhere else um I find the biggest when I give a again whatever is good not good whatever when I give a schmoo I find that when you use real stories that I know personally it connects to the when I speak of my rebell you speak about them and you're talking about yourself and your interaction with them then you have a you have what to connect with the bak when you just tell stories from the past doesn't always work obviously in a safer like this you're going to write all kinds of stories from before also but I think real stories with real people that they could identify with especially in yeshiva because they hear about these people from me all the time sure so I think that works Now, the Rashiva schmoozen, are they based on a style that the Rashiva saw from someone else? Are they self-developed? Because there is definitely a unique style and I and I'll bring it up a tremendous emphasis on bin tremendous probably more than any other topic. You know, the idea of using a rashi, he really always with me also also rashi all the time. They use rashi all the time. But I think mid is not my mother. I talk my mother all the time. and the brahim laugh because well remember I was very young my father passed away so my mother was tremendous dogish on mid and it all of us my siblings uh we try to push it so I I I think that's also with the with the with the amount of competitiveness that there is today in the world particularly I think we can't forget mid and the so we try very hard again all the are trying to bring out and without mid the learning is there the learning the amount of learning that's going on is is incredible. But we have to push the idea of mid I think is very very critical and so um my own style some I don't know I picked it up and I think that's what should be when I was reading the um what what I thought of was a lot of anyone anyone ever mention a little bit I have obviously fits the bill he had a heart as big as the world his heart was unbelievable I have a story in there for example a phenomenal story which I I don't know why it wasn't picked up on I spoke to a Jew who heard it directly from someone who was at now that story is on you know there's not a time for stories now and there we supposed to speak now but I think what what is that particular story it's an amazing story what happened was that was a survivor he lost his entire and he came he went to he came to Israel I believe 1950 his oldest daughter I think that was the year got married to none other than the future of right before the this story again it teaches such volumes right before the and his rabbit go over to the girl their daughter now imagine his heart being full of he's marrying off his first child after losing his entire family says to we're not walking you down to the say she says why is because your is going down first he's going to be standing under the without parents now is doing like you call it a shik He married Rashiva's daughter but he felt for him's father and his rebbitson walked down the column in order not to hurt when they came up to then they joined the over there the hearts his heart was so big yet he gave it up that's mid the fights to go on sometimes who should walk down father mother what goes on I once came to my show I came to a wedding and I was first at another wedding first I had to go to Talmud's wedding first and I went to another wedding and I come in there at 10:30 I expected to come in after after the after the meal second starting is ending what's going on major fight the kal's parents were supposed to walk down with with together with their daughter the other side demanded last second that that it can't be why because there insisted only father father mother they wouldn't give it up for an hour and a half writes about it in he says he's marrying go for kids stop fighting and what happened after everybody left people left says to his daughter I'm not working out with you know what that could teach people writes about he writes about boy what my children do he's speaking about this particular thing he writes about people will fight over the famous story of kameki you know they asked him why he had six children he says three of them father father three of them father mother says why that's good for me but it's to bring out such a story on me this could lessons for life now a lot of Those lessons also came. I know that the Rashiva I think if I'm not mistaken it was during the period after the Rashiva's father was nif when you was to spend time with correct talk about that what was the that he had tremendous I I chased him because I was looking for something you know I was I was learning in I went to Philadelphia was the only four weeks my father was back to New York told me I should stay with my mother which I did and then he came to Wisburg for a shabas we had uncle Penny used to call him a he's also Cron's uncle. So he he stayed there in his house because because of the crone relationship if you want to know what it means you should read's first book the introduction pages 24 to 30. It says there exactly how hooked up with his father. So he came there for Shabas and I I felt some I spoke Yiddish well. My parents only spoke Yiddish to us. So I hooked up with him and then I just ran after. My mother bought me a matono, this big wallen suck, a huge tape recorder. I followed him around and I hooked up with him and he called me uncle and I felt like it was part of him. I found something the year my father was. I was looking for something and I attached to him and it was a tremendous tremendous. Was that a cash that I was making? Oh yeah. Yeah. Whenever you came to America midas shas that helped a lot. It certainly molded my my thing. You know this shabas I was talking to a few people in yeshiva someone made mistake because once gave a thing that the Torah says are you read the tur says I feel you shouldn't correct about ky why so we don't pass like that I remember once he gave a schmoose about that the par we just read about gave up everything why she thought she's giving up mashia and she saw all the client journal and she gave it up why not not to embarrass you phenomenal. He spoke about this topic. It brought it to life. It brought it to life. Not to embarrass somebody. What means not to embarrass somebody? He spoke about that and then and I remember it that had an effect for sure. Yeah. For sure. This safer I believe is going to be in that season will enjoy it basically because even if they know the Tyra, they may not know the stories. They have better things to do with their time. Okay. But yeah, but I think even if they know the Tyra, they may not know the stories. And I think lay people and and of all ages will enjoy it. You know, I always felt I wanted interesting Muslim. I have this giving to the Bismish and to the MFA every single week. Um because Corona I have to give in two separate rooms because it's too crowded. But you also teach the kindergarten once a week. Once a week I teach the kindergarten these four year olds. How do you teach kindergarten? Because they understand if you tell them the right story and the right angle it it's the beginning of their development. is about so of course she's doing on a different level alto together but if you tell them a story about hey was recently right it's also it's also and and it's just because they're four years old so what this of going through all the years of working on midas it's a long everybody knows the famous is that it's easier it's easier to finish than to change one mid I think to work on midas it should cycle from I don't want to dash in too much over here but I I tell the always tell are very nice the different world the gyian Muslim different world of course everyone licked up and the but everybody's finding for now I don't know what can I tell you corona is the English word finding corona in the I don't hurt anybody's feelings but teach them should be they got to go home to Shabas and tell over something that's going to change a mid going to help us conversation by the table what it means to have to somebody else mean to have good midas the shabas should be those teaching children lessons that's different from grade grades nursery right through the rashiva has built the yeshiva with tremendous mysterious nephesh yeshiva yeah I think it's well known for it for its high level of learning with the rashiva say that what's unique about it is this component of an emphasis on is that a fear assessment you know I I think we're unique I think a lot of like that but I think that when a person comes up says I want I feel good about that because they're talking about that they're talking about that and that and that so that's a good feeling I think we try we try very hard and the rest is from what's interesting we're talking about sensitivity I I saw in the safer an interesting anecdote and it really resonated that the Rashiva for years when when it would snow as a child you know you get excited and then when you take into account I think the Rashiva tells Tom tell me now take into account the fact that when something interesting so I said I said every once in a while they was we haven't had snow in a couple years they're talking about a big snow coming up now but we haven't really had major snowstorms but when it does and the kids are dancing in the aisles won't be Shiva tomorrow I remind them that after one day it's ice old people we have Talmud nisha whose grandfather was a survivor of the holocaust and walked outside and slipped on the ice and it was nifa. So I don't tell I'm sorry I told over these stories you know I don't tell I don't tell two more roast stories to the children but they have to hear you're excited they're old people go out of their houses for weeks because of this now frightened because of corona but they're not going out of their house you you're happy one day think about the other one so one one rebby once said to me you know rabbi says to me yeah party didn't see the word party poopa but he said like yeah what are you doing come on right so I was thrilled last year two years ago Brley was just reson yeah rebellion Rudy's Rabbi Rudi's you know mother. So someone told me that there was an that being a magazine that interviewed them a nine page interview. So I got a hold of a copy. I have the copy still and it said yeah the one time it started snowing very hot and and one of the children I told Rebellia maybe it was you. n my sister whatever I don't know who it doesn't matter and they stand by the window so wow no school tomorrow no yeshiva tomorrow no less than Britney says to him you know but tomorrow it's turning into ice old people going to have a very hard time with it I felt good I was vindicated because kids got to think about it you're going out in the snow you're happy so what you got to think you have to think about have fun in the snow have a day off but at least think about the other person I want her grandmother. I tried to call the older grandparents. They're all older, most of them. But uh she told me she hadn't gone out of the house that year in three months. She couldn't go out. So, you know, it's like for a woman, you got to think about it. In the study, I'm sorry, in the Hagada, which is very popular. Um I think the Rashiva mentions about not going not walking ahead of older people. Yes, you see an old person shuffling along respect mandates that you as difficult as similar story very similar story remember which reb was so I told him I don't walk in front of an older person what is he feeling now he's 90 years old he can't walk and I'm running ahead of him it's not fair now maybe it's me now when I go to don't run ahead of me now because I'm coming I'm cost me I come to 8:30 for some I'm stuck behind somebody I don't I try not to walk behind them so when said again where do where did you take this thing from how do you know such a So again, I didn't I said it's my herish. What the most people won't care. Some people do care. I was reading a biography and there it was a professor from Hebrew University 1947. The Hebrew was around before the state was founded. Professor said I got someone I want to go see the he went to see. He knocked on the door. They told him he just went for his daily walk. Which way did he go? This this direction. Okay. He falls and he sees and has an issue. He figured it's somebody walking extremely slowly like one tiny bit of steps. He figured it can't be it can't be that that this is a walk. So he ran up someone who's walking behind the says who's the he says right here. But he's taking a walk but he's walking so slowly. He says don't you see in front of him there's a very very old man will not pass him. The professor said I don't have to meet Khes anymore. I hear why he's the story that brought down the the biography of the I know he turned around and went back. I'm sure he get away from the whatever he did. So I think this again sensitivity there's every single day the sensitivity and every word we say to somebody you could hurt somebody forever without even knowing inadvertently you got to be conscious about it. You got sensitive to people it'll come through. There are segments of the safer that also address the current situation. I'll call the current situation because it is continuing with the pandemic and the last 8 n months. So I'd like to ask two two things. First of all, what kind of hra is there for people? And I'm curious to hear from the rashiva what what has the rashiva seen as far as the fallout on youngsters on even teenagers on the rabim on the on our general system with this last 9 month period and what's what are we going to see ahead and how are we going to address it? It's it's problematic. It's exploding now all over now. A yeshiva alone we have to close now per not per the the city the city didn't tell us the board of health didn't tell us but we have a doctor Dr. Dr. Burman a wonderful wonderful person and he suggested we should close the older grades that's elementary school grades 5 through eight because there's a real so it's really going on very very strongly first of all you know in all my midas the one thing that has to be the theme is we talking we don't forget obviously so on and so forth it was affected it was affected especially the younger kids when they came back this year they fell behind in Korea we had to make now that every cliff should do certain amount of working on Korea because they fell back in Korea the person that were learning Ru from learning every day in the older grades they they got lost a little bit and there are kids that just fell through the cracks. So there's been a real problem. The reb have been wonderful. I think the rebay and the teachers have worked so hard to keep things being normal. But I think what we want to teach the children is that even though it's problematic times, what are you taking away from the pandemic? Because I tell them the following story. I think this is the most important part. They should realize that we learned Tyra and we did our thing even in the most difficult of times. That's what should be. That's it. They have to go out of this that one thing when they look back. I told him a story when I was in Philadelphia those four weeks again I was invad for those four weeks my father was lifted suddenly I remember I remember and me they didn't tell me but but so there for a very very short while I was a little bit homesick abyss in those years phone calls were very very expensive was $20 I remember we had to call our grandfather when he during that span $20 for three minutes he didn't hear well long distance you didn't interrupt a long distance call is very expensive three minutes whatever ever he had. And my father wrote me letters. He wrote me 12 letters during that span. And I kept those letters. November 9th, I believe was the day 1965. There was a massive blackout in the northeast. Everything was blacked out totally. My father was na November 15th was in 15th. So this is a letter he wrote shortly before he was nift. He writes him my he wrote in years yesterday there is a big blackout in the north. say it's big black out in the northeast, but I'm writing a letter anyways. I'm writing using a candle and there's wax on the letter. It dripped down onto the somehow got on a little bit got onto the letter and I have that letter. My memories of the blackout for the longest time now it's already so many years ago already. My memories of the blackout is that my father wrote me a letter in the middle of a blackout. So I told the boys that's my memory. Your memory has to be that no matter what came my way the curveball with the pandemic or went on we have to realize that we made through and that's what we have to go away with I also talked to kind of older people you know we have we have a dash of grandparents remember that I was speaking about yeshiva that we grew up without grandparents our baby boomers they call them grew up without what they they they they grew up without grandparents I was like in my class I had I had the potential children. There were 35 kids in the class. There were 10 grandparents. I had one because my father was an American. My grandmother been ready. My I had a grandfather who had then moved to Sarah already. But I had a grandfather. No one had grandparents. Today we have you know what grandparents can give to children. There's so much grandparents can give. And I tell this to the grandparents all the time. You have so much you can give and now that some of them are locked in their houses. It's cute. The pictures we see standing on a car before Shabas and waving. Think about your grandparents. You're complaining. When you have a problem, you're complaining. You think about your grandfather your grandmother they can't go out the pad people live with there are people out there living in total went to wedding last night with the one of the parents of the I went to is had had a heart attack a few years ago you know at his own wedding he had to be his own child's wedding be so careful that's part of sensitivity we have we have to use the daily opportunities around us to speak about developing children's sensitivities we're all busy with ourselves right asking what's going to this week. That's your problem. What about the old people who can't leave their houses? Yeah, it's important. They want to dance. They want to have a good time. I'm not taking away any of the good times of children. I understand that. I understand that. But think about these people who can't. We're living in terrorish terror. People have died. Unfortunately, till today. Yes. True. All people with conditions. So what? Think about this. I think our job should be to de again develop me this children should go thinking about we overcame we found ways why can't you write a letter to your grandfather your grandmother letters are out of the window advent of emails letters are gone it's a treasure we once had letters sell today you don't sell these letters write a letter to your grandfather that I miss you'll have a much greater effect than speaking on the phone write a letter to your grandmother I missed the chocolate chip cookies you made me I want to get together I want you to come to our s this year last year we missed you I talk to the kids about it. Let the pandemic teach us to think about the other guy. Yan yan yan yan yan him ying the other person. I think that should be the way we should go about the pandemic. I think speaking about the pandemic has the rashiva experienced I know that the in general carries a tremendous oil on his shoulders financially with the yeshiva. Has the rashiva experienced a specific challenge with regard to the pandemic on a financial? You know, there's always advice. I have a wonderful parent body really and most of them I'm old make certain decisions now. So, people are upset about the decisions that could be with people who generally had no problem. So, uh I understand people it's their kid their people they want to talk about it. I have not found fundraising to be extraordinarily difficult. I think people are realizing we were very very worried. I'm not saying tuition has fallen to some people lost jobs which is another people who can't pay mortgages. That's a real sad. There are people out there now are suffering. But we the yeshiva we're managing working harder now. Working on our virtual dinner, whatever dinner it's going to be, but we're working harder. People are trying to bring in the dollars. But I I don't see that beside the yeshiva. I see it more nor the hurt with the parents. There are parents out there who live the normal healthy life and suddenly they're unemployed. Remember the the the residual effects of this. I was thinking about it. I went to recently in New York. There's no there's no uh valet parking anymore, right? because they are they passing the quota people are not paying the quota people so there's so many people have lost jobs and panosas what about all the photographers and all the videographers and what about all the what about all of the bands and music they've lost so much prasa that's I think we should talk about kids also everything could be every single thing that happens in our lives on a daily basis and that's by the way the best when you talk about daily things daily occurrences with kids so the pandemic has certainly had effects but I It's also a a real wonderful wonderful haven to teach them about this and the Rasha was talking about Yenim and thinking of others. We're all amazed by what does in that realm but we have great PR though but I no but I I do want to talk about one specific program among many others that that's amazing the vocational program is is something to it's unbelievable and then and then the Rashiva has this program on Sunday where kids who are attending public school I couldn't believe when I heard about this program they attend public school the rest of the year spectacular and the Rashiva brings them in if you don't mind talking about that I don't mind I think every it could be done every burrow neighborh at least 10 12 kids coming every Sunday. There are 70 days approximately the public schools are closed and we're open. We're talking about the holidays and the president's weekend etc etc etc. this and then there's 30 about 40 Sundays, right? So these kids are in pup school year and the parents are so struggling to keep them Yiddish, you know, when they're young, four, five, six years old, but who cares when they're 10 years old, it's even harder. And why aren't these kids attending Yeshiva? They're such a matzah. We have certainly a very strong program for the disabled kids who are and we have a vocational program in high school. By the way, many of the kids in vocational program, that's where we teach them trade. Um some of the greatest kids in the high school now they want to learn plumbing the contract which is very good takes away the stigma when you have the strongest kids in yeshiva doing carpentry it's very good so that's a wonderful thing of course teaching them but there are certain kids that can't fit into any yes I yes whatever the reasons are without going into detail let's say the ADHD is so bad let's say or more than that they're so weak they need special programs academic limitations academically so they have to be involved in school which is in every city in across the country so we invite them to come on Sunday and make friends we put them in their child appropriate age. Now, let's say the kid is a 10-year-old. We put him into the fifth grade, right? Even though he might not keep up with the fifth grade, the greatest part is the other kids. We when you take in a kid, do you really believe it's only a favor for the kid? It's the biggest ta for the regular kid. These kids understand all we going there's a kid coming here. We have to explain to the kids he has to be he's not in a regular. We don't take the word public school. He's coming here for Sundays. Take care of him. They dance around him. They recess. They choose them into every game. We have kids coming from other burrows for this program. This is easy for any Shiva to do. It's a spectacular program. And you know they were waiting now in co we were closed a few days. When could we bring the kids again? That was the only connection. Now they have friends from the neighborhood from and they can play with them and they know who they are. These are my classmates. I go to I go the kids don't say I go to public school anymore. Yeah. I go to 70 days. A lot of days. A lot of days. It's wonderful. It's so easy to do and the kids grow. When you have a handicapped kid, let's say in a in in we have a kid in a a wheelchair and and you and and my son is pushing that kid. My son is growing. He's giving up his research to take him out onto the ball field. And so these kids also it's so easy to help them. So easy to do with them really. This might might be a sensitive question and I'm sure the Rashiva grapples with it. The yeshiva and the yeshiva in general are known for having this open door policy of of being there for kal but at the same time if you do that too much it starts diluted it starts diluting that's very hurtful to me sometimes I get calls how how do you balance it's very very hard we have a regular yeshiva we have them also we have brah that are sitting in brisk that graduate yeshiva eventually they go they go they become doctors so they're if you if I completely you know overwhelm Bisha with kids who are problematic then other kids won't come and they're right. We have to feed we have we have advanced shim also for kids. So so we have to have a limit. We have to of course we give our own children first and we taking a few from out of the community but we have limits certain amount of us. So we shouldn't overwhelm the yeshiva. We have to keep taking care of the regular kids. That hurts sometimes. I have people today you didn't take my kid into Shiva this year. 25 years ago I had never forgave you for that. That hurts. I feel bad. Why are you yelling at me? you know, don't have titus on me. Have titus on the ones who don't take anybody in. I take in but a limited amount. And and I meet people some you didn't take on my kid. You know, it's very hurtful to me. But I can't I can't do it. There's nothing. I think the success of the program is is that the kids no stigma that part of a so-called regularly yeshiva making a program. You make a vocational program. A certain community came to me, they want to make a vocational program, but not any yeshiva. You can't do with any yeshiva because that'll it'll be the yeshiva he can't do it to go to make a separate building. I says I'm finished with our meeting. I can't talk to you because you will not defeat the purpose. You will not be successful. You know mayor Bloomberg once came to visit the yeshiva. So of course he took to the vocational program and when he was there he told whoever is giving you the tour or dax the program he tells him you know we don't have this program in the entire city of New York. All these kids are in special schools that doesn't work. He was the spoile from it. So for us you gota you got to envelop the kids in a regular yeshiva. Mainstreaming is the key. Of course. Of course. That's very very important. The Rashiva has said on on numerous occasions that the key in a yeshiva and a school is that it should be a place of sim. Correct. I've heard that many times. What does it mean on a practical level? How do you infuse a yeshiva with simka? It means simply that what went on 50 years ago, we shouldn't do. When we went to yeshiva as kids, we I'm sorry. Most of us hated yeshiva. that we didn't like yeshiva because first of all there was a lot of hitting going on in those days a lot of the name then you have to understand were holocaust survivors they were nervous people it wasn't to become a rebi today you you have a first great opening 20 people apply sure so it became much then yelling and screaming there were some wonderful also memories of that were wonderful but today we realize if you're not going to have a happy child where the kid is enjoying where the kid gets compliments I don't like when babies red pens to make an extra. Some kids that struggle, you know, just talk to the kids privately, explain to the kids why they get a good mark. The kids got to be bump I want the kids running into the morning and they do. I have because every Wednesday I do meet and greet. So I'm a big shot. So what I stand there kids come into and these days come with masks off the buses. I don't even recognize half of them. But they run into so happy and we make certain occasions throughout the year. We all kinds of kumar has made it into a major operation. All the shivas are doing that today. You see you look in the you look in the yeshivas are m they've become a place of simple I think uh um you know uh I met a parent last night you know I met a parent last night he tells me I'm going through my first crisis with a child. I said this child is a great kid whatever grade he's in. So what's the crisis? He's not keeping up. The sheer level is so high. So um you know he can't keep up. I said, "This is your crisis. This is your crisis." And your kid feels at them. If you're upset, he's not doing well. He's not in the city. Somebody share him. Your kid has to think he's the best kid in America. And you and your wife have to make sure to tell the kid you give you don't understand this. You don't understand this year. So what that's what I give I give out every test paper grades 6 through 11. Right? So I'm also I try I keep all the comments. Yeah. Wonderful. Great. Superb. I'm all out. I'll tell the kid privately a little bit. Whatever. I'll tell you, you have to try not to embarrass the kid. Right. So, so if a kid you could tell him nicely, quietly, you could tell him this not a crisis. The crisis is plenty kids on the street. Plenty of kids out here on the street. That's a crisis. The kid doesn't understand. But if the parents are going to talk like that, the kid will become a bundle of nerves. We used to have a kid in yeshiva and his brother was the exact same way that used to used to if you got a 95 on a test. So the the parent this year came to me about this. I said I want to say I remember your oldest son had the same issue 95 in a test he'd scream I need 100. I said this year same kid with his younger brother the same family. So I called the father I said are you telling your kid if you don't get 100 you're not doing well. No no no no no I'm not telling him. It got to be you are because kids worried that's not going to make a simple that's going to make a robot. That's make a kid who doesn't like learning. He's being forced to learn. Religion must be enjoyable at this age. Certainly when it comes to this there's comes times but you can't force feed religion. I remember once had a parent came to me many years ago. What do I do with my child? I said what's wrong with your child? He's playing with battery toys on chabas. I said well he three years old. Come on. He doesn't understand. He's going to hate chabas. He's going to hate chapas. There's something I heard recently wrote a book 39 yes bites of Shabas. If everything is no no no for a kid he didn't hate Shabas. Shabas means coming to the table and seeing his mirrors and having a good time and enjoying yourself. That's what Shabas means. The kid is very young with time you develop in him. They won't want to do Shabas. You got to be and you have to find everywhere. Every one of them are wonderful. They really are. It's very very special all over. It's like that. Yeah. The yeshivas are are clearly better than ever. I think the rabbim are the cream of the crop. Better than ever and every in America wonderful they put in. I found that out is spending their own money to buy them prizes. Why does make come on what should go on should make $200,000 a year paid the right salary he deserves. But but kam today every are wonderful really wonderful but what do we do about there is a percentage of I think boys more than girls who are not making it within the system and whether they fall out at the beginning of massifa or at the end of massifa wherever it happens there's something about kids who are a little out of bounds who are not who are not making it we need more dev drinks that's what we need more dev drinks there are some people doing it I think that it shouldn't happen that often number one is if you if the kid breeds su a vocational drug would help a kid like that dramatically. This is most of the kids I think again everybody has their own theories why kids go up to Derk. Yeah, you know everybody has their own pet peeve. I remember when the Sandy happened and our community was be decimated to a large degree. So some raven some other burrow got up and he said you know why if I rock away five it's firm because they will never this farm. I said I don't I didn't call him up. You're not God. You haven't decided yet. You don't know exactly why things happen. I don't know why things happen. There's really why kids go off. They don't go off. I can't say why. I don't think there's a rhyme or reason that parents hit hurt themselves. Everybody throw sheet. This is why kids go off. One thing's for sure. If a kid is not successful in school, you're going to lose them. We have to find a way making every kid feel successful in school. I find a way and there are ways help doesn't work. But you got to try very very hard and you got to carve them, make them feel good about themselves and and and it'll help. But what do you do with the ones who are off already? You know, I'm not involved in that field actually. But I try wherever I can meet the on the street. I go over to them. If I see a kid wherever he was, I say you, you know, they get scared and I'm all I haven't seen in a long time. You keep smoking on Shabas, you know, they vape today, which also but you see them at Shabas, you go over, how have you been? And talk to them. Show them that we don't hate you. I think we love you still. You're going through a crisis, but I'm always there for you. I tell this to Baham all the time. A lot more girls than you think. A lot more girls than you think. There are a lot of issues with girls today also. And obviously I don't have as much as with them as with these. That's the first step getting them back when they feel people believe in them. That's too broad a topic to talk about in one interview over here. But we got to try to keep them in the fold. Yeah. Any closing message specifically related for parents? If the reshaver was able to address parents and give them physic in gan is hard you know they say used to say came to complained about gil he told him the regular everyday things that he goes to he says that's not gban that's kids are going to create problems you know you know it's hard to be a mother the mothers today oh superheroes of Israel we found out that's another thing that co taught us we found what what our wives do what our mothers do we found that out. They do everything in the world. We compared to them ush they do so much. We found out we were all home. We saw what's going on in the house. The laundry and the cooking and the cleaning and the and and and the homework with kids. Homework should be banned. By the way, homework should be banned. I have some homework yeshiva because I have to have homework because I got to be a regular yeshiva but very little homework. Whoever whichever sadistic person created homework it's your we were kids. No they secularly homework. Come on. So some people say we have to give them it became now a measurement stick of the yeshiva your if the kids are busy elastically right there are girls have it worse than boys or cry themselves to sleep at night they can't keep up with the homework why we doing this kids enjoy life homework I don't get into a long tiraate about homework but I don't understand homework a little bit secular I can't understand but it's hard being a mother being a father but that's life what do we have without our children. The children it's everything we have and your children will turn out wonderful. They really will. Most children turn out wonderful. Shower them with love and affection. You know what? Not so bad spoiling kids. Some are afraid to spoil kids. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. You want your kids to love you. You want them to be happy. And and and don't worry about it. And I say to the today, you guys are the moas are so wonderful today. Really so wonderful. Give them to the kids. We shouldn't ever let a bump in the road hurt us. There are bumps. Every road has bumps. That's all. Our job is to overcome the bumps and move on. Well, Maztov on the release of the newser. I appreciate and thank you for the man. By the way, the attent he has those beautiful, beautiful stories in my family, the kids, the grandchildren. They all have to read your stuff first. It's really terrific. Really terrific. And I say again, now you're wearing art scroll. uh we have to be very grateful to them where they've just you know when I was a kid growing up people have time this you know there's there was nothing to read kids read junk today you have a a good novel coming out from school even for the kids now and of course the terra part of it we I didn't talk about today little without terra we have nothing said we have nothing makes us special helps so much so thank you for having me thank you A lot of culture. [Music]