Shoftim - Forgiveness is a Gift

You're listening to the weekly para podcast with Ari Goldwag recorded with Hashem's never- ending assistance in Israel 5786 2026. This week's para is parim and in our para we're going to see a small discussion that we get a lengthy discussion in the medish pik says chapter 20 10 of Deuteronomy when you approach a city you want to do battle with it. So the first thing before you do battle is see if they're interested in peace. And in the when we talk about peace, we mean are they interested in surrender? If they're not interested in a war, so they open up to you. So whoever you find inside of that city um becomes your servants. They need to pay you tax. But if they're not interested in becoming your servants, so then you will wage war with them. Okay? So I'm not going to get into what happens after that. But I do want to read to you the med which extensively speaks about the concept of peace. And it's interesting because the Pik itself conceptually peace means um come you come under my dominion right but we're going to speak about peace in a different in a different vein says the par section we get a lengthy talk about the power or of peace. Come and see. When a human being has an enemy, so he wants to see, he tries to see what he can do to him, right? How can I get away with causing my enemy damage without him per se even knowing about it? She also lo so the individual who hates somebody else wants to cause him harm. So he'll go to somebody who's wealthy. He'll be nice to the guy who's wealthy. They'll butter him up and then say, "Can you do some kind of damage for the person for this particular person, the one who he hates?" Listen to this. Hashem is different. And obviously whenever we see something about Hashem himself as it were. So this is a lesson for each of us because we're supposed to emulate Hashem, Hashem's good ways. All of the idol worshippers, they anger Hashem. Those who deny his existence anger him as it were. Now that person who denies that God exists, his soul goes up to the heavens every night, goes to sleep. The soul of every living creature is in Hashem's hands. Now does not say, "Oh, this guy's this guy's a lousy guy. I'm going to get him back. Not going to wake up in the morning." That's not what happens. but rather Hashem gives back the soul to every individual. Even those who despise God, even those who defy God. In Isaiah 42:5 says that Hashem gives the souls to all of those who dwell upon the land. So before we get to the next thing, there's a whole bunch of different teachings here in regards to peace. But the first one is Hashem has power over all the individuals, even those that we would say that God hates. Even those that deny God's existence, even those that behave as if God is not there. So well, what does Hashem do even though he has power them? He he gives them life. He he causes them to wake up in the morning. Okay. So it's a lesson a powerful lesson. So this the entire s of timer that we need to emulate Hashem's ways his loving kindness that Hashem is constantly giving life even to those who are actually sinning against him with this very moment of life that Hashem is giving them. Okay. So we see what it means peace. We see what the concept of peace means. It means a high level of vtor, a high level of forgiveness, of giving up my own power against somebody, somebody causes me damage. Should I not respond? We learn from Hashem that that's not the right thing to do. Another example says the maj let's say someone does ruin does something really not nice to Shimon Shimon's hurt by it he's upset tells his wife you know how long does it take for that resentment to go away it's not so quick right the way the measure says it is it doesn't leave his heart forever right it's inside of his heart still even when I forgive forgive somebody for something they've done wrong. It's not always the same as it was before. It's still in my heart. God is not that way. The Jewish people who are God's special chosen nation. So we were in Egypt and we were being treated terribly. We were slaves. They made us work with with brick and mortar. After all the bad things that those that the nation of Egypt did to the Jewish people, Hashem still expressed that we are to show them kindness. Says, "You shall not treat Egyptians in a negative way because you are a stranger in their land." which means to say that there's such a thing as appreciating when someone has done me kindness even though they've also done something wrong for me. They've also done terrible things to me. The Egyptians oppressed us. They enslaved us. They treated us like dogs. But we lived in their land. And we need to show them. to show gratitude rather run after peace. Seek peace. Run after peace. So I mean that requires running after peace. You have to be a serious runner in order to not notice that someone has done wrong to you because they've also done something nice to you. Right? That's really hard. That's a difficult challenge. But the mages is telling us that that's what we're supposed to do. That's what the Tyra is teaching us. When the Tyra says about the Egyptians that we are to show them gratitude that we lived in their land, it's saying don't look at the bad stuff. Don't look at the bad stuff. Look at the good stuff. Another explanation. What does it mean to seek out peace and run after it? My mayor, this is a story we learned together elsewhere in other mediev The uh the candle had been extinguished. Her husband said, "Where were you until now?" She said, "I was she said I was listening to Mary. He was saying that particular guy was a clown." or as the explained here was a Russia. She said she was told by her husband, you can't get into my house until you spit in the face of Mayor. So she left. She left her husband's house. She was kicked out of her husband's house. Alan Novi Elijah the prophet was you could say half man half spirit right we know that he went up to to heaven in in in a fiery chariot chariot right and he would and he has reappeared and he continues to reappear to this very day to teach great people things that need they need to be taught so appears to every mayor He tells him, "Because of you, because of your long rash, a woman was kicked out of her home." And he told Elijah the prophet explained to what the whole story was, what her husband had told her, don't come, don't come home until you spit in his face. He sat in the great study hall. This woman was a righteous woman. She came to pray. So Mary sees her. This is the this is the lady and she he knows. And uh he made himself look as if he was sick. He had an eye an eye infection. And he said, "Who knows how to cure an eye infection with their saliva?" Of interesting in this version of it. So, so uh she says that she does know what to do. In the other version, she said she didn't know what to do. Okay. So, so she did it and she spit she spit in his eye, spit in his face. So, says to her, "Now you can go home to your husband and say to him, I spat in the face of go and appease your husband." We see the power of peace. So I think about it what what's happening in the story? What's happening in the story? Ravi Mayor is Ravi Mayor is showing an incredible kura an incredible strength. I mean the guy the late son the clown the evil individual the wicked individual had told her uh his his wife to spit in Reb mayor's face for saying along to Russia causing her to come home late. You know, that's not my friend. If you're Revy Mayor, that's not your friend, right? But Ravi Mayor, Ravi Mayor didn't care about his own honor. Mayor didn't care about this guy being wicked and saying for her to spit in his face. He cared about a husband and a wife that their relationship should be mended. That's what he cared about. That was more important to him than his own honor. Unbelievable power of peace says what is the great power of peace. This is parallel what did he gave up on his own honor. Hashem himself as it were gives up on his own honor. Torah commands us that if you write Hashem's name, you can't erase it. The Torah also commands that if you have a woman who seems to have been unfaithful, you're allowed to erase Hashem's name into the Morim into the bitter waters. You're allowed to erase allow Hashem's name to beak erased into the waters in order to prove her innocence so she should come back into a relationship with her husband. Now, we're not talking about a sadus here. We're not talking about a righteous woman, not a righteous guy. She's been seen with someone else. It's not a good thing. But still the the the honor of Hashem, Hashem allows his own honor to be erased in order that this Rashanta, this evil, wicked woman should be able to return to her husband. Incredible thing. So again, I want to point out that we all have lots of reasons. This is an important thing. Begins now. I am to my beloved and my beloved is to me. You know, everyone talks about comes he's his the the uh the king is in the field, right? So, it's it's a special time, but at the same time, it's uh it's also a it's also a time to think about our relationship with our fellow man. Right? We're going to come into Yam Kipper, Rashim Kipper, and uh we're rededicating ourselves in our relationship with Hashem, but Hashem says, "I can't forgive you for the stuff that you've done to my other kids." We've got to ask them for forgiveness. It's hard to ask for forgiveness, especially when we feel like they've done something wrong to us. But what we see here is that my job is not to think about the other person, what they've done wrong. My job is not to think about how bad they are or how much they hurt me or even how wicked that person is. I got to I got if I've got something that I've done wrong in that, I got to clean it up. I have to find peace. find another example says of of peace that the brothers and Yoseph the brothers suspected that maybe Yoseph was still angry at them after Yakov Ainu died. So they s they told him a lie. They said that their father had said treat them well. Don't be upset at them for what they did to you. Jacob had never said that. They afraid that after Jacob died, he would avenge what they had done. They had sold him into slavery. They said to him, "Your father commanded before he died that this is what you should say to Yseph." We don't find that Jacob actually said that that he should treat them well. It's interesting. It's set up as theim tell us something which is untrue in order for us to get to a state of peace. Or alternatively, the brothers were permitted to say something which wasn't precisely true. Maybe it would have been something that Yakov would have said if he would have known. He didn't even know about the story according to many opinions. Right? So, so they were permitted to say something which was a halftruth or which wasn't true at all in order that there should be peace. Sometimes you got to sometimes you got to say a little white lie in order to maintain peace between people to fellows. It's known that Aaron the priest he would he was he loved peace. He pursued peace. He tried to there were people in fights. So he would go to either side and say, you know, the other person really wants to reconcile with you. And then he would go to the second guy and he would say, you know, the other guy really wants to reconcile with you. They would end up getting back together. Now, it wasn't true until he said it, right? But it's permitted. It is not only permitted, but it is obligated to to bring about peace sometimes through subtrifuge. says another aspect of it. Peace is very dear. This is something that Hashem gave to Zion. Zion is another name for Jerusalem. But he says in chapter 122 of Psalms, request the peace of Jerusalem. Right? So shalom is something which is we're asking for. We're asking that there be peace in we want peace. We know I mean it's all over the final war of the world might be what we're in the middle of now. Final war of the world has to do with the peace of Jerusalem. Everyone comes to fight over Jerusalem but ultimately there's peace. It brings about a new age of peace. So Jerusalem is associated with the concept of peace. Shalim itself the name of Jerusalem Salem is shalom. Yerush shalim y shalom Jerusalem. So the city itself its very name denotes the concept of peace. Another place that we see that peace is something which is very dear to Hashem is because God placed it in the heavens. Right? Obviously God wants to keep it close to him as it were. God makes peace in the lofty spheres. Another possible explanation peace is very dear. God gives it to those who are distant and those who are close which means to say as M for explained there are those who have a relationship with Hashem that's always been strong and never wavered those are called sadikim then there are those who lost their relationship with Hashem they drifted away from Hashem but they want to come back or they've come back they've done chuva How does Hashem feel about that as it were? Peace. Peace to those who are distant and those who are close. Right? Hashem is interested in everybody. She wants a relationship with everyone. Even those who have drifted away. You see that it's something that's very dear because Hashem does not give it to the wicked. says also in Isaiah first is in this one's in chapter 48 of Isaiah God says there is no peace for the wicked which means that it's something that's reserved for the righteous peace is something that's precious it's precious it's something you know think about it those who are wicked they don't they don't create they create drama in the world they don't create connection they create disconnection. Shalom is about connection and it's about it can be about connection between those who are not the greatest people but we still want their them to be connected like we said earlier but those who are wicked so their whole essence is disconnection. So peace is not for them. Biscar, we find that Pinas who did a great mighty brave act caused the end of the plague by killing Zimry who was connected to a woman in the wrong way. Correct. Connect connected to the wrong type of person. Hashem gave Pinas who by the way is also same soul as Elio. So we saw something about him earlier. is Hashem gave him the gift of peace by giving to him a covenant of peace. He maintained the peace between heaven and earth, between God and the Jewish people. When Hashem wants to talk about the fact that we're going to be redeemed, that the redemption is going to come, the messianic age is going to arrive. How does he describe it? And it's described as peacem or the rag maser the the footsteps the footsteps of the of the mavaser. The mavaser is the one who tells over the news. The one who tells over the news bringing the news of peace. Bringing the news of the redemption. It's a it's peace that he's talking about. That's what the redemption is. That's what it looks like. the lion and the lamb, the nations who until now are fighting, Iran and Israel, Russia and Ukraine, etc. There's going to be peace between nations. No longer will they raise their swords to fight each other. They will beat their swords into plowshares, right? But peace is the description of what it looks like at redemption. So you see how great peace is. says, "Look at the completion of all blessings. Peace is always there at the end. It's the bottom line. It's the it's the that which rounds out the blessings." So what's the blessing after Kesha that that finishes off the blessings of Kishesha? Hashem is going to spread out his tent of peace, right? Which by the way really means that because what is we spoke about it previously not long ago is all about a relationship with Hashem. Everything is him. It's all one. Love Hashem. Fulfill the commandments. through the mitzvah. We spoke about this last week. But what is the bottom line of all that? What is the result of all that? We're in a state of peace, which means that I should be able to get to a place through the Tyra where I don't hold a grudge against you. I don't I I let go of that stuff like we spoke about earlier. But that's the result of the Tyra. That's the foundation of the blessings. You want to know how to have blessings? Forgive other people. Right. The beautiful blessing of the priests that they give here in Israel every day in at chakras they give that should bless you. They're the masters of peace. They're the ones who bring the corbonus the sacrifices on our behalf. They're the ones connecting heaven and earth. They're the ones who give us the blessing out of their love. With love they bless us. And what's the foundation? Peace, right? It says at the end of the blessing. Another place that we see how precious and important the concept of peace is is that what is the consolation that God gives to Jerusalem says again in Isaiah 66:12, God is going to send a river of peace to Jerusalem. A river of peace. That's a good river. I'd like to jump into a river like that. King David says, "I was interested. What is Hashem talking about when he talks about the Jewish people? What does the conversation look like? What's the topic? I wanted to know what he talks about and I understood. I heard that he's involved with their peace. Posix says in written by King David perheapter 85em I will hear that which God will speak. He speaks peace about his nation. He's looking for the good. He's looking for our best. I want to just comment here. I've said this to my kids many times. I think it's important for us to think about especially as we're in we have a hard time forgiving. We're human. We have a hard time letting go of stuff and we think therefore that God has a hard time forgiving us. Can bring proofs to it. Whoever thinks that Hashem is just he just lets go stuff. Don't think that cuz I'll say that. But on a deep level it says is compassionate. Hashem gives free gifts. Hashem is which means that he pardons people even though they don't deserve it. Hashem is a compassionate one. He's a gracious one who who forgives a lot. This is his mida the mid of shing. We got to work on this my friends. We got to work on this. Being able to forgive others to find a place of peace. No, let him let him apologize first. That's our ego. Let me pray inside of my heart. Let me dive in and Hashem, please help me love these people. Hashem, help me forgive these people. Forgiveness is hard. It's a hard thing to give. It's something I need to receive. I need to be able to receive the gift of being able to forgive someone else. Because as long as I don't forgive somebody else, I have that that resentment inside of my heart. I'm killing myself. Okay, let's read the final statement of the medish before we close it out here. See how beloved is peace. When wanted to give a blessing to the Jewish people, the vessel that holds all the blessings is peace. I can't have a relationship with somebody else unless I have peace with them. Unless I know how to forgive them. I don't wait for them to prove that they're worthy of my forgiveness. I got to do and then I should be able to forgive people. And then I have peace. That's the cle that's the vessel. Peace is the vessel that holds all the blessings. Shem will give power to his nation. and Hashem will bless us with peace. You know, we could look back in very recent history. We don't need to look back very far. When Kal is not loving each other, we get into trouble. We get into trouble. Our enemies see that we're at each other's throats. They see we're vulnerable. And the greatest power, where's the power, where does Hashem give us the power? It comes through peace. Comes when we can forgive each other. We can forgive the person who's hurting us. doesn't mean that what they're doing is okay, but I can let go of it. I can let go of believing that it's happening without Hashem's will as it were. I want to bless you, ask you to bless me. Hashem should help us as we begin el we're in the countdown to the high holidays should help us to have some peace. Should help us pray for forgiveness. Pray to look past the mistakes of others and ourselves. Thank you so much for listening. Have a wonderful Shabas. This podcast was made possible through the gracious donations of listeners like you. For more podcasts like this, please visit www.argoldwag.com or search on iTunes Ari Goldwag.